Men genuinely crying or pleading

So much femdom photographic or video porn misrepresents the desires of real domes. I can imagine many women seeing it who may have thought about  becoming a Domme being completely put-off. This rubbish porn is either aimed at men or is simply produced and directed by people who have no idea what a REAL DOMME likes to do. I guess a further problem is the professional Dominatrix where the client has a safe-word. I imagine the interaction cannot work without this, but for me, the male is in control (not the Dominatrix)  – when the male can halt proceedings whenever he chooses.  I can’t imagine what the male gets from this and I have always assumed they are masochists and not submissive. (A distasteful thought for me is that the main kick they get, buy the end of a session, is feeling proud of themselves over just how much they could take before they used the safe word.) There are some Dominatrix who manage somehow to work around the safe-word issue, I know – and more power to them. And more power to all professional dominatrix while I am on the subject! I respect them all – a valuable and positive part of society.

On one aspect of BDSM porn – a genuinely crying or pleading submissive. There appears to be no shortage of BDSM porn with a female sub who is genuinely crying or pleading, but finding porn where a male is sub is genuinely crying or pleading is very difficult. YET,  I consider that is an essential ingredient in real domination! There is some available:- The Balkan Brat, Barefoot Princess, Mikaela – (Shepunishes), Governess X,  Mistress Jo, Sadobitch, Goddess Whiskey – (Cruel Stepsister), Sadista, Cruel Sara.

A long list you may think. And I have no doubt that I have missed a good number out. But I would estimate the femdom material that hits the mark is perhaps less than 1% of the femdom material online. How can this be?

Anyway, RANT OVER. One thing I can happily say is that bitch-boy will be genuinely crying and genuinely pleading a good number of times over this bank holiday weekend – and I will be very happy and contented.

 

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31 Responses to Men genuinely crying or pleading

  1. Pat says:

    I believe the heterosexual porn industry is created for men. It is about men. The anticipated consumer is male. The horizon of the male gaze is the female body, whether dominant or submissive, active or passive, and this horizon becomes a boundary.

    My thesis about the relative silence of the male actor in femdom porn verses the very verbal female bottom, is that males learned to be silent in the act of masturbation. The sound of the female – or the female’s whip – is the correlate to male silence. ‘Yes, yes, YES,’ to quote the lines from When Harry Met Sally.

    Peace,
    Pat

    • I think I disagree with your thesis to explain the male’s absence of genuine pleading or crying. I think it I simply that the male’s in question are not being taken past their limits.

      Your comment had me reflecting that a lot of truly submissive males perhaps feel the same as I do. That 99% of femdom porn does not reflect their understanding of real dominance either.

    • I think I disagree with your thesis to explain the male’s absence of genuine pleading or crying. I think it I simply that the male’s in question are not being taken past their limits.

      Your comment had me reflecting that a lot of truly submissive males perhaps feel the same as I do. That 99% of femdom porn does not reflect their understanding of real dominance either.

    • jmv0405 says:

      Honestly, I think it has WAY more to do with illegality than anything else. Porn is already on the fringes of what is legal (Always think of that Family Guy joke where a woman is going to get arrested for getting paid for sex until she shows a camera. “Remember kids, she’s not a whore if she’s an actress.”) The companies that make porn do not want anything to look like, or be perceived, as rape. Even kink.com is unwilling to continue when a model breaks into tears. If you think about it, this makes sense. Last thing a company would want to litigate against is someone saying “I was raped” and having a video that could purport to prove it. Submissive women genuinely pleading or crying is almost as rare as submissive men doing the same. This is also why your list consists almost entirely of independent, rather than corporate, producers of pornography.

      • You may well be right, but even so, if you trawl relevant Tumbler sites, statistically there are probably 100 pictures of begging/crying females for each picture of a male doing so.

      • westfalen says:

        Yes jmv0405 as the old Insex company did have many of those crying female submissives in their movies that you refer to and found themselves eventually persecuted by the feds and eventually forced to shut down by the bank credit card processors…….this even though all the models consented and many were taking it and shedding the genuine tears for the good old $.

  2. Lady Carole says:

    Agree with all you say here ,safe words DO put the male in charge and many are very restricted in what they can do/have done to them re marks ect so is a very difficult issue to solve for any pro dome

  3. fluffy says:

    so will Bitch Boy be a crying and a pleading this 3 day w/e from liberal use of the nettles on his little clitty Ms Scarlet?

    respect from
    fluffy

  4. licktoy says:

    As submissive I agree it is extremely difficult to find a good femdom porn. They show physical femdom activities but emotions are missing or they are poorly pretended.
    E.g. amused domme vs pleading sub (coming close to limits) or laughing domme vs crying sub (when limits reached or exceeded), … .

  5. FootSlaveE says:

    Do you happen to have links to where the videos you reference can be found, Ms. Scarlet? They sound great.

  6. westfalen says:

    Nice insight on this and i think part of the problem is that the traditional safe-word has gotten mixed up in its often use as more of a comfort-word, where the male sub calls halt when his comfort limits are reached……it really is meant to be used exclusively for genuine safety concerns such as pinched nerve from bondage, or sub about to faint, can’t breathe, etc…..which are always legitimate uses for it,,,,,,but should not be used just because things are getting too tough or painful for the sub!…..maybe there needs to be two words, a traditional safe word and a more lenient comfort word for those who want them……so as to keep things clean for us more devoted practitioners and serious subs:)

  7. westfalen says:

    An additional comment on this important topic, as being a sub/slave type who has over the years been blessed with both a number of fulfilling genuine FD relationships and also has enjoyed the expertise and attentions of some wonderful PDs, i think that in the former more personal and longer standing F/m relationships , La Domme inevitably and of course purposely gets familiar with her sub/slave’s body language and usually develops a real time intuition and keen sense of his real limits in a hard session for example. While this can also certainly and does happen in a long standing Pro Domme relationship if he has been seeing her regularly over time, a lot of PD sessions are one-offs or very irregular in which case it’s in the interest of both to have and respect a sub safe word…..unfortunately this does muddy up certainly the loss of total control which many of us and of Domme/Sadists ideally want but such is the cost of these less personalized relationships. As you and bb have been long married, you of course know his genuine limits inside out from all your time together and no longer need such a boundary for him:)

  8. westfal says:

    Also and this is not being sexist believe it or not, but re your point about the plethora of bdsm videos with females crying vs. hardly any of men crying, i do think it has something to do with that women, maybe due to cultural conditioning, do allow the tears to flow much easier than us blokes, for better or worse……for most men, tears come hard if ever regardless of the pain levels inflicted as i can attest ime.

  9. westfal says:

    Yes agreed, as i had not thought of it in that vein as the female subs do seem to ‘plead’ much more in these films than do the male subs, many of which kind of take a certain stoic emotional response to their treatments beyond sometimes and to a lesser degree generally than the females, expressing their suffering from the pain inflicted.

    In that vein, is ‘pleading’ something which BB does in response to your treatments of him, and that which you appreciate and enjoy coming from him?….. as i would suspect such pleading would tickle your own sense of power and cruelty as you inevitably deny his pleads-?

    • A sub genuinely pleading with all its heart represents three things.
      1. It deeply affects the sub doing the pleading. It means they know they are 100% in the power of someone else.
      2. It signals to me that what I am doing is past what they think they can cope with so I am at a good point with whatever I am doing.
      3. It turns me on!

  10. westfal says:

    Interesting to read your revelatory descriptions of your feelings in #2 and #3 above, and kudos for your so insightful understanding of us subs in #1 above as i know that feeling and it is so true.

  11. westfal says:

    As you outlined in your post of Oct. 8 MsScarlet and as i copied below:

    ‘1. It deeply affects the sub doing the pleading. It means they know they are 100% in the power of someone else.
    2. It signals to me that what I am doing is past what they think they can cope with so I am at a good point with whatever I am doing.
    3. It turns me on!’

  12. sissy jamieanne says:

    Good day Ma’am…and a very Happy New Year to You and Yours!

    The fact that You frequently make bitchboy cry is one of the (many) things that makes You the best! Genuine tears in a submissive male is a rare thing…as You’ve noted. I was once caned to the point of genuine sobbing and crying by my Mistress…both from the pain and from the feeling of “helplessness” as I had no idea when the thrashing would end…it is truly a memory I will cherish forever!

    Speaking of crying…I am currently reading volume 7 of Your journals…thanks to the holidays this has been a slow process! Anyways, this morning I read the chapter about the school detention…OMG…that pushed sooooo many buttons with me! I confess I was dribbling a mess in my panties…soooo delicious…Thank You Ma’am for sharing that!

    In respect,

    sissy jamieanne

  13. subslaveuk says:

    A fascinating insight from a genuine Dominant. As a submissive that has a relatively high pain threshold it’s the knowledge that through suffering the Dominant is fulfilled that is intoxicating. Just because I can accept pain does not necessarily mean its enjoyable. As such a Dominant that brought me to tears I would imagine would be pushing me beyond my limits and therefore expanding the power dynamic between us. Ultimately it is all about power exchange. I have yet to be made to cry but ultimately a Dominant who could would be a Dominant to be looked up to.

  14. Nathan says:

    I love to cry and beg during a session! It took me years to build up the courage to let myself go to that extent. However, I have found that some Mistresses don’t like it – the “stop snivelling!” attitude. As showing such vulnerability is an expression of trust, having it rejected could make many men reluctant to do it again? Anyway, I’m glad that you find it arousing. In my female sub fantasies, I also find it a major turn on. I tend to mention my preference for crying out loud when booking to try to ensure compatibility.

    • When you say, ‘As showing such vulnerability is an expression of trust, having it rejected could make many men reluctant to do it again?’ it implies there is a choice. Obviously, my ideal is the male cannot stop himself from crying or sobbing. He has no choice.

      • Nathan says:

        That is true. Playing at that lower “choosing” level could have helped move on to the genuine/no-choice level, which I may have been too scared to explore otherwise.

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