Monthly Archives: September 2014

A sissy friend for bitch-boy

I just had to post two photos of bitch-boy’s new sissy friend. This is an unashamed copy of an idea of my wonderful friend Madame Victoria. A copy of a doll she made for her male slave, Stephanie-Jane. Bitch-boy’s new dolly even has the same name as the doll Madame Victoria has gifted to poor Steffie – she had come up with such a good name. (Madame Victoria is featured in the published Volume 6 of my journals, and is also in the half completed Volume 8).

I will leave it to your imagination to envisage the sort of humiliations bitch-boy (and Steffi) has to suffer with his new sissy doll friend!

dolll  Untitled-1

Some shopping on Amazon and eBay, and for under £20 for all the items I secured a pink Barbie ball room gown which I chopped down with scissors so that it was ridiculously short. Another purchase of some Barbie doll frill topped socks and of course the purchase of the male doll. Two small ribbon bows stuck to the doll with glue, red nail varnish to depict the red punished bottom and there we have it – a little sissy friend doll for lucky bitch-boy! I’m afraid he did not seem very grateful. LOL!

Completely excluding him from the real world

I received from ravi a comment on an earlier post and I felt that my response was worthy of a new post as readers may find my honest response interesting or perhaps selfishly callous or perhaps so extreme as to be psychologically deranged. I am prepared for abuse in response to this post! Here is the comment from ravi I am responding to.

Have you ever considered shutting him out of the world completely (almost), except from those whom you chose to have him meet. This includes stopping him from continuing his business and making him completely dedicated to you. Without any other distraction. (by what i made out, you already have enough money to do without his business and neither do you have kids). This would not be really practical but just wanted to know if you had given this a thought.

I am not sure if ravi has read Volume 7 of my journals. Below is an extract from Volume 7 to which he may be referring.


……………………………… I continued.                 

I know it’s your holiday too. But that means nothing to me. You’re trapped in this life you initiated and I am not compromising my potential pleasure from it and I never will. You need to come to terms with that as best you can – always remembering you brought it upon yourself. Have I not made it clear that it is just going to get worse. I am going to give up work soon. We have enough money saved away and I have decided that I could be enjoying real pleasure an extra 40 or 50 hours a week if I give up work. I am prepared to forgo the hugely expensive cars and all the other extreme luxuries, in exchange for enjoying real pleasure an extra 40 or 50 hours a week. It’s not even a close decision. I will be giving up work very soon. When I do give up work, you will find yourself playing with your dollies every afternoon that I can fit it in. If we can adjust your work routines to mornings only on most days, then every afternoon you will find yourself playing with your dollies. You will be able to complete your maid’s duties some mornings and most evenings, although many evenings will consist of total sensory deprivation bondage for you, I’m afraid. That is where we are heading for our lifestyle. You don’t understand just how much I love having you play with your dollies as Belindakins while I read or watch TV or flick through magazines. It makes me feel so relaxed and so powerful at the same time. I relish your deep humiliation and the terrible monotony of it all for you. Both elements bring home to me my extreme power and that is a delightful, arousing feeling. And when I give up work and you spend afternoons, one after another, after another, after another week after week – my power rush will be greater still.’ He had begun to breath very deeply. He knew my speech was no mind-fuck. He knew I was being 100% honest about my intentions and that it would all be happening in the manner I was setting out.   It was exhilarating to deliver my speech, knowing it was all true. I picked up his Barbie Doll comic while he continued to breath deeply and stare at the blanket on which he sat. I selected a colouring-in page and laid it in his lap. Despite feeling exhilarated I spoke in matter-of-fact tones.                  ‘So, off you go then. Colour this page in with Suzette. And remember, if you go outside a line, you will get caned.’ …………………………………………..


So, as you can see, I already have plans that are distinctly in the direction of ravi’s contemplation. Once I have enacted the new lifestyle I have set out in the extract above, I would not be surprised if I then move further. Perhaps having bitch-boy sell his business. I may also want a part time, working-at-home job for additional fulfilment – probably working for a charity that I support. My justification for this future of extreme constraining of bitch-boy’s existence is as follows.

Firstly, he is submissive to his core. Being controlled gratifies him utterly at the deepest level, although obviously it comes with huge collateral consequences for him. Pain, humiliation, drudgery, sexual frustration, etc. It is true that he hates the consequences of his helpless submission, but such is the paradox of the submissive human and I have written on this many times. This paradox is exemplified because the more he suffers and the greater the inequity – the more profoundly he feels controlled.

Secondly, he is in his late fifties now. He has led a very, very fulfilling life already. He has had more fulfilment than most people would dream of in their lives. We have raised a child (now a fantastic adult), he has had some powerful and rewarding jobs, he has run a successful business, he is full of wisdom and his wisdom is often sought by family and friends. And also my future regime will ensure he is physically very fit and healthy and will have a very healthy diet. He will have no decisions to make and no stressors – apart from me! Further, he has had a much younger, beautiful, (well he certainly thinks so), intelligent wife for over a decade.

Lastly, I am very selfish and sadistic and dominant and I want to experience this extreme Domme/sub lifestyle. It will be an adventure for both of us. It is no doubt also a lifestyle he fantasised about before he met me. (Of course he may have reconsidered these fantasies when reality educated him as to the potential folly of fantasies!)

So the clock is ticking to this future – I can’t wait!

The tranquil contentment and bliss

Towards the end of one of those days, when I have put bitch-boy into TSD bondage and I have returned downstairs to watch TV, do emails, make phone calls or read – always at least for an hour, often several hours – I get this exquisite feeling of tranquil contentment and bliss. I feel so relaxed yet powerful and so fulfilled.

Every now and then my mind turns to bitch-boy – blind, deaf, immobile, vulnerable, the taste of my urine (or his semen mixed with water) occasionally dripping into his mouth from a slowly melting ice block, him sexually denied and desperate – me on such a day, probably having had 4 or 5 orgasms already – and I just get those feelings. Like my little world could not get any better, or be more serene.