Well in my post of 13 May 2014, I wrote about how evolving as a Mistress creeps up on you. You become more extreme, more selfish, more pitiless and do not notice how much you change year on year. Last weekend, I did notice another step change of, to me, some significance. (to you, dear reader, you may find it insignificant.) What was the change?
Well, up until last weekend, when bitch-boy has been ill, I have always let up on him quite considerably. I have remained in charge and he has to fetch and carry and serve, but physical and mental torments (pain and humiliation) have been light and his list of chores has been light. I think it was a mixture of compassion and of wanting him to get well quickly so I could resume my usual regime. BUT last weekend was different. We had a vanilla event to attend on the Sunday, but on the Saturday, although he was really quite under the weather with a heavy cold, bordering on influenza – although it was not influenza. I just felt like using and abusing him to the extent I would if he was well. Which is what happened. His chores list was light, but that was the only concession. I felt no pity. I was a cold hearted bitch. Playing with his boy’s bits on the sofa, then him in his sissy maid’s attire for over an hour, prepping a very elaborate evening meal in the kitchen, then him in his full little girls outfit playing with his dollies for a couple of hours. First colouring-in his Fairy Colouring-In Book, then playing his Disney Princess Board game – again and again and again. Finally TSD bondage for over two hours and a nasty session of dickie-discipline involving the ruler and some very nasty stinging nettles!
I had lots of very, very powerful orgasms throughout the day. I think I felt even more perverse and cruel (and powerful) knowing I had evolved yet more. I have no idea why this sliver of compassion, after all those years, just evaporated overnight? But it was gone. He was very under the weather and yet I used and abused him nevertheless. And, of course, that is how it will be from now on. The process of evolving is like a ratchet turning. Once it clicks over a notch, it never goes back again.
On the Sunday, in a slightly sulky manner, bitch-boy questioned me over this change. I could tell it had shocked him. When I replied that I had changed and did not know why and I felt no guilt or compassion, AND that is how it would be from now on – he looked a little shocked and wounded and helpless. But I also saw a hint of awe hidden away in his expression. His submissive soul could not help but marvel at the yet more extreme heartlessness of his cruel, selfish Mistress. Such is the lot of the true submissive!