Serious fear and helplessness creates the contentment

Given the comments I received on my last blog post, particularly from DarkHorseSub which were very helpful, I will make sure that anything I submit as a comment but which I wish to share with the world, I will also make a blog post. Below is the first.

I was asked to point a sub’s wife to some useful Femdom advice literature on a specific topic. I responded.

I am afraid I know of no written works which appropriately and accurately set out the needs of the deeply sexually submissive. Were I to have a conversation with your wife, I would say this.

‘If you love your submissive and you wish to be kind to your submissive and have him/her sleep the most sound and contented sleep they can every know, then the saying -‘you have to be cruel to be kind’, is the mantra by which you must live. The deeply submissive is a paradox. They need to feel helplessly in the control of another. That entails feeling that they are treated unfairly when it comes to things like allocations of chores and leisure time. It means they have to be genuinely very fearful and frightened of the punishments that are given in response to infractions. It also means they have to be subjected to pain and humiliation that they do not enjoy. It is only when they are genuinely fearful of punishment for infractions and when they suffer pain and humiliation and unfairness they genuinely would rather not experience, that they feely truly controlled and in the helpless power of another. And without feeling truly controlled and in the helpless power of another, they can NEVER be wholly content with their lives. So real love and kindness for a true submissive does not mean going easy on them in any way, or being fair with them – that causes discontent and unhappiness and is not being kind.

A subsequent comment was received.

Dear Mistress Scarlett. That response is truly awesome. Thank You so much. This one was never a deep sleeper until Mistress had me sleeping in shackles, at my instigation. So Mistress understands this aspect. This boy spends the day doing house work in collars when possible and is used by his owner for personal care. Punishment and discipline are rare however because, as previously stated, Mistress worries about hurting me. So yes, your response has hit (lol) the nail on the head so to speak. This boy is therefore not fearful. But desires to be. Most of the submission is self derived so at times this boy becomes extremely agitated. Your control and understanding of You pet is remarkable and i am so pleased for You that You have this. Again, thank You so much for Your response. Bowing deeply before You.

A final comment was received.

Dear Mistress Scarlet. This boy would like to relate to You what has happened subsequent to his discussing with my Mistress Wife Your text as shown above. Mistress stated that She was not interested in humiliation and then I guess reflected for a few days on O/our discussion. Yesterday Mistress turned to this boy and stated…. I own You, you are to respond to my instructions immediately as you are My personal property. Mistress then instructed boy to disrobe and bend over the bench. Mistress then proceeded to beat this boys backside. Mistress was hard and unrelenting. All subsequent commands have been absolute and have required instant responses. Various parts of boys body are currently either sore or tender.
Thank You so much for Your advice and guidance. This boy now understands that its life is now totally within the wants and needs of its Owner and it looks forward to servitude.

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6 Responses to Serious fear and helplessness creates the contentment

  1. sissy jamieanne says:

    Your guidance here on the psyche of a submissive is spot on, Ma’am! There is no doubt in this slave’s mind that Mistress Scarlet knows the male slave and what he “needs” like no other! It is when i am secured over the caning bench, with my bare bum pointed skyward, taut, thrust out, and vulnerable, with my wrists and ankles secured that i feel paradoxically most secure. As Mistress stands in my view, flexing Her cane or holding a heavy, hardwood paddle…in those moments, i feel fear, trepidation and love!

    Letting a slave off easy…or being lenient or lax only leads to confusion. Rules exist for a reason, and even if those rules are strict, hard and “unfair”, a slave who knows the rules and KNOWS he will be held strictly accountable for their compliance and punished accordingly when they are breached, can sleep very well indeed…for that slave is secure!

    As a “man” when i go to bed in my panties, a chastity device protecting my little clitty, and even occasionally a butt plug, I sleep the sleep of the innocent…comfortable and secure in my world…knowing fully my place in the scheme of things…it is at the bottom rung of the ladder, but at least i know my place!

    Thank You Mistress for this post…it was quite thought provoking and mentally stimulating, and it helps to renew in this slave’s mind why I should strive to be the best slave I can possibly be for my Mistress…

    Most humbly,

    sissy jamieanne

  2. darkhorsesub says:

    I’ve only ephemeral experience to draw on, but in my own submissive soul, my greatest hope is also my greatest fear – that someone might come to a full understanding of my deepest vulnerabilities and be determined enough to demonstrate that understanding as a form of acceptance.

    I don’t suppose this is peculiar to submissives, but overcoming the intellectual paradoxes and societal taboos is that much more of a challenge, maybe some dare not let themselves hope that they’ll find it.

    Or not, it could be just me. Never-the-less, it’s the reason I read this blog – such insight is both heartening and melancholy.

  3. punkahwallah says:

    Mistress Scarlet,

    Your comments on submission are simply the most insightful I have ever read.

  4. tiffanymaid says:

    Mistress Scarlet *curtsy*

    May i concur 100% with the above comments. Reading the above post(s) was heartwarming. i have never read anything that describes so accurately my own perception to the subject of submission (and control). Thank You.

  5. 11754 says:

    Dear Mistress Scarlet,

    I agree with your writing about what a submissive wants most from the Mistress. I deeply desire my Mistress to be cruel, mind fucks, punishment, etc. Fortunately for me, Mistress is very wicked and loves to see me in pain or torment me with some new toy she will use on me that will fill me with dread. I am most happy when she allows her toy to suffer for her pleasure.

    And, I sleep very well on the days when I am tortured in mind and body.

    Well said,

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