Serious fear and helplessness creates the contentment

Given the comments I received on my last blog post, particularly from DarkHorseSub which were very helpful, I will make sure that anything I submit as a comment but which I wish to share with the world, I will also make a blog post. Below is the first.

I was asked to point a sub’s wife to some useful Femdom advice literature on a specific topic. I responded.

I am afraid I know of no written works which appropriately and accurately set out the needs of the deeply sexually submissive. Were I to have a conversation with your wife, I would say this.

‘If you love your submissive and you wish to be kind to your submissive and have him/her sleep the most sound and contented sleep they can every know, then the saying -‘you have to be cruel to be kind’, is the mantra by which you must live. The deeply submissive is a paradox. They need to feel helplessly in the control of another. That entails feeling that they are treated unfairly when it comes to things like allocations of chores and leisure time. It means they have to be genuinely very fearful and frightened of the punishments that are given in response to infractions. It also means they have to be subjected to pain and humiliation that they do not enjoy. It is only when they are genuinely fearful of punishment for infractions and when they suffer pain and humiliation and unfairness they genuinely would rather not experience, that they feely truly controlled and in the helpless power of another. And without feeling truly controlled and in the helpless power of another, they can NEVER be wholly content with their lives. So real love and kindness for a true submissive does not mean going easy on them in any way, or being fair with them – that causes discontent and unhappiness and is not being kind.

A subsequent comment was received.

Dear Mistress Scarlett. That response is truly awesome. Thank You so much. This one was never a deep sleeper until Mistress had me sleeping in shackles, at my instigation. So Mistress understands this aspect. This boy spends the day doing house work in collars when possible and is used by his owner for personal care. Punishment and discipline are rare however because, as previously stated, Mistress worries about hurting me. So yes, your response has hit (lol) the nail on the head so to speak. This boy is therefore not fearful. But desires to be. Most of the submission is self derived so at times this boy becomes extremely agitated. Your control and understanding of You pet is remarkable and i am so pleased for You that You have this. Again, thank You so much for Your response. Bowing deeply before You.

A final comment was received.

Dear Mistress Scarlet. This boy would like to relate to You what has happened subsequent to his discussing with my Mistress Wife Your text as shown above. Mistress stated that She was not interested in humiliation and then I guess reflected for a few days on O/our discussion. Yesterday Mistress turned to this boy and stated…. I own You, you are to respond to my instructions immediately as you are My personal property. Mistress then instructed boy to disrobe and bend over the bench. Mistress then proceeded to beat this boys backside. Mistress was hard and unrelenting. All subsequent commands have been absolute and have required instant responses. Various parts of boys body are currently either sore or tender.
Thank You so much for Your advice and guidance. This boy now understands that its life is now totally within the wants and needs of its Owner and it looks forward to servitude.

12 thoughts on “Serious fear and helplessness creates the contentment

  1. Your guidance here on the psyche of a submissive is spot on, Ma’am! There is no doubt in this slave’s mind that Mistress Scarlet knows the male slave and what he “needs” like no other! It is when i am secured over the caning bench, with my bare bum pointed skyward, taut, thrust out, and vulnerable, with my wrists and ankles secured that i feel paradoxically most secure. As Mistress stands in my view, flexing Her cane or holding a heavy, hardwood paddle…in those moments, i feel fear, trepidation and love!

    Letting a slave off easy…or being lenient or lax only leads to confusion. Rules exist for a reason, and even if those rules are strict, hard and “unfair”, a slave who knows the rules and KNOWS he will be held strictly accountable for their compliance and punished accordingly when they are breached, can sleep very well indeed…for that slave is secure!

    As a “man” when i go to bed in my panties, a chastity device protecting my little clitty, and even occasionally a butt plug, I sleep the sleep of the innocent…comfortable and secure in my world…knowing fully my place in the scheme of things…it is at the bottom rung of the ladder, but at least i know my place!

    Thank You Mistress for this post…it was quite thought provoking and mentally stimulating, and it helps to renew in this slave’s mind why I should strive to be the best slave I can possibly be for my Mistress…

    Most humbly,

    sissy jamieanne

  2. I’ve only ephemeral experience to draw on, but in my own submissive soul, my greatest hope is also my greatest fear – that someone might come to a full understanding of my deepest vulnerabilities and be determined enough to demonstrate that understanding as a form of acceptance.

    I don’t suppose this is peculiar to submissives, but overcoming the intellectual paradoxes and societal taboos is that much more of a challenge, maybe some dare not let themselves hope that they’ll find it.

    Or not, it could be just me. Never-the-less, it’s the reason I read this blog – such insight is both heartening and melancholy.

  3. Mistress Scarlet *curtsy*

    May i concur 100% with the above comments. Reading the above post(s) was heartwarming. i have never read anything that describes so accurately my own perception to the subject of submission (and control). Thank You.

  4. Dear Mistress Scarlet,

    I agree with your writing about what a submissive wants most from the Mistress. I deeply desire my Mistress to be cruel, mind fucks, punishment, etc. Fortunately for me, Mistress is very wicked and loves to see me in pain or torment me with some new toy she will use on me that will fill me with dread. I am most happy when she allows her toy to suffer for her pleasure.

    And, I sleep very well on the days when I am tortured in mind and body.

    Well said,

  5. Maybe I am just kidding myself but in the Mommy Dom relationship I do not feel like a slave nor asked to act like one.. I fear punishment ever so deeply and yes at times Mommy scares me to death. I think that makes me more not wanting to sleep and hope to find away to be on her good side again. I can relate to everything being said here because after Mommy found me I have found a peace of mind that I thought was impossible to have. So yeah that makes me sleep better at night. I truly respect bitch boy level of submission and have learned allot from him. Mistress Scarlet has done a great thing for bitch boy. Not very many people left in the world who are as kind as she is in that she had to change her life and way of thinking to give bitch boy a peace of mind.

    1. A comment worthy of respect! An open mind and a fine set of observations.

      One point though. While I should be praised for testing if I liked Femdom, I changed my lifestyle and way of thinking as easily as falling off a log and immediately and since, I have and do, adore my life!

    2. I am intrigued by your comment. Perhaps you could write more describing the regime and activities that make up your life with your Mommy Dom. I know many of my blog followers, like me, would be very interested.

      1. Thank you so much for your interest Mistress Scarlet. I am not sure you will be able to share my situation with many people because it will not be a PC kind of thing. Mommy is to the point and blunt and doesn’t play around with words. Mommy hates men she will even go as far to say that she hates all men. That said she doesn’t hate all male’s and will tolerate a selected few. Mommy told me she noticed that I had a lot of air in my head (her way of calling me dumb) and explore me a little more. Mommy doesn’t come out and say to anyone that she is a lesbian the most she will say is that she enjoys females in every way. Mommy suspected that I had a smaller than normal penis and if that was true she would have no choice but to treat me as a small boy. (These are not her exact words but I am trying not to be long winded here) I am now for all intensive reasons her little boy. I have no assigned age somewhere from just starting puberty to all the way back to a baby. She often tells me and some of her friends that I am her retarded baby. Most deem me as retarded for this or that reason. While that hurt me a lot at the start I now find that term as a sign of endearment because I might not every be capable of being a real man. When going out I am dressed like a small boy could be Dressed. A Disneyland character t-shirt of my choice and I only have light weight pants that have no zippers and the pockets cut with plenty of croch room in them. Mostly sweat type pants or scurb pants that kind of thing. Boys with little hairless pee-pee’s don’t need underwear, but sock’s can be worn in nasty weather. Mommy has no other name than Mommy and in the house or out in public that is who she is and that I am treated very embarrassing so, just like a small boy.
        One thing that is very noticeably about Mommy is her almost OCD behavior when it comes to how she feels about males. Mommy believes that all males should be kept with a hard on. Hurting, horny and frustrated with very few exception’s. I learned on my first days with Mommy, after my body hair removal is that all little boys fidget with their pee-pees and do not stop until they are told. To insure that I will be dining that Mommy found the right size penis ring for me to wear. It fits around my penis and goes all the way to the bottom. When I am completely falcid the ring can slip off. That is a very big no-no. It does not take a lot work to keep my penis slightly large enough to keep it on. One hand on my pee- pee and my other hand has my thumb in my mouth. Of course that is not a all day or night event, but I do spend a great deal of my free time that way. Sometimes Mommy will stop what she is doing and give me a hug and pat my bottom and that is the most special feeling ever. Mommy has spent a great deal of time training me what erections stand for her and me as well.
        You must understand that it is MOST important to Mommy that know one would think sex between us has ever happened nor sex of any kind with anyone or any gender other than a hand has ever taken place. Boys cocks stay hard…Boys balls stay full! On many of my long duration erection brainwashing treatments I began to see and understand what she means that to someone like me with a small penis that erections feel normal and not having one is abnormal. Mommy has me doing one of the 4 different types of erection training daily if not all. 1st is the normal fidgeting at the top to keep erection started and going. 2nd is the brainwashing erection with very slowly and lightly movements of the middle finger and ring finger. Fast enough to stay erect but slow enough not to cum. These can go on for an hour or more and always feels like a very,very,very long time to me. 3rd is I bring my knees to my chest with feet’s up in the air a rub up and down with a flat palm and fingers. Mommy tells me lots of times that is how she did it when she was a little girl. 4th most scary, Mommy has me on her dinning room table tied and penis torture of different kinds, many times with vibrations from wands. These are times I feel insanity will happen for sure. When no more chores are left and Mommy doesn’t want my help I spend allot of time locked in the room. She has two cameras with mic and speaker. One is like a baby monitor she can take with her and the other is tied into her home security system that is recording all the time movement is detected. She also has a phone app that she can use to see and hear everything know matter were she is. She puts two empty baby bottle’s in the room that I can make pee-pee in. I also spend a lot of time in the living room on my baby blanket in front of Mommy’s coach. I have my black female baby doll, my blocks, coloring books and my tablet to watch cartoons on. This time is also used for breasrfeeding or yum-yum time ( that can happen anytime all the time) spankings or erection brainwashing. Punishment spankings can happen any time too and they are painful and the way I am treated afterwards is just as painful. I feel many times my whole world is falling apart. Never want to make Mommy mad like that! Making (Ice cream) her word for me that means ejaculation or cum is always met with a punishment spanking. All males should be kept hard, horny and frustrated or in short for me, so I can better understand them because I am not so smart. Boys cocks stay hard and boys balls stay full. When I have work and it is always the graveyard shifts I spend more time in the locked room.
        Mommy has me dress up as her little girl from time to time and one thing she told me is that she gets lonely for female company and that helps her with that. Unlike most males who are dressed in female entire unwantedly this is not for humiliation purposes. It is during these times I get to eat almost whatever I want and play videogames and Mommy is so very nice as almost a different person. My female clothing is not over the top really and I don’t have that many female clothing to speak of. Mommy normally likes the white sundress with a bow or ties in my hair. Mommy still doesn’t allow underwear I guess in this case I should say panties. I also have a pink long shirt with unicorns on it with puppy slippers. While things are ever changing I thought I would share some of the highlights here with you.

        1. Wow, thank you so much for your account. Your Mommy sounds like a wonderful Domme. I am sure I am not alone in saying I would not tire of hearing more if you have the time to comment again.

        2. I am sorry to trouble you again, but your story so intrigues me as your Mommy’s regime is completely new to me. She is such a great Domme! So I do have more questions as I would love to post a blog post wholly on your Mommy’s regime. I will understand though if you are too busy to answer my questions.

          1. Is it the case Mommy would rather you have no orgasms ever, despite forcing you to be touching yourself and have erections for long periods?

          2. Of the 4 types of erection training, how long must you do each without stopping?

          3. For what periods of time are you locked in the room and monitored by cameras?

          4. What do you have to do when locked in the room?

          5. Why, when you have graveyard shift work, do you spend more time in the locked room?

          6. How are you treated after a punishment spanking?

          Please do not worry about PC issues, my blog is always fully honest and fully descriptive about all aspects of femdom.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s