Dominant Smoking Women

I have noticed how many submissive men are turned on by photos of (on the face of it vanilla) smoking women and I have been thinking about why. I have concluded there are a lot of reasons.

The main one I think is that a woman smoking in a pic often looks very relaxed. Being relaxed hints very strongly at being in control. I am always saddened by seeing pics or videos purporting to be of dominant women in action, who are angry or who have lost their temper. I am sure a submissive may be frightened by an angry Domme, but surely it is more frightening when the Domme is utterly relaxed while inflicting her abuses?

A little off the subject, but linked to this is – swearing. The occasional obscene word, spoken in a relaxed tone can be very useful. Being sworn at is after all being disrespected. (Now fuck off back to your chores Pansy.) But those awful videos where the alleged Domme uses  the word ‘fucking’ every fourth word – well does she not come across as not in control and unintelligent?

Back to smoking. There is then the issue of cigarettes themselves. Firstly cigarette ash. What a wonderful commodity. Smokers visiting me always take great pleasure in using bitch-boy’s mouth as an ashtray. And it is very, very degrading for him and he really hates the taste too. Often gagging or retching a little. Delightful! But there is more. Ash can be saved up and used to tip onto his meals, or dropped onto a light coloured floor to be licked clean. Cigarette butts can also be saved up and used to tip onto his meals.  A half-full ashtray becomes very intimidating for a sub!

Spitting into the slaves mouth or face and face slapping also seems a linked pleasure with a human ashtray. And one of my favourites, partial ignoring can be employed too.

Then there is burning. I have yet to expose bitch-boy to being burned by a cigarette. There appear to me to be two levels. One which causes discomfort but leaves no permanent scar (which I think requires excellent dexterity in the Domme), and then there is burning that will result in a lifetime scar. I do not rule either out in the future and, of course, bitch-boy’s little clitty would be the target I select for the smoking Domme I choose to go down this route with. I must admit seeing a cigarette extinguished in a slave’s mouth (and then he consuming the butt) does look very erotic, but I would not want bitch-boy’s mouth and/or tongue ever damaged in any way! I have other important uses for those parts! I have noticed that sometimes a Domme will allow a slave to build up a small pool of saliva on his tongue and the cigarette is extinguished in the pool and then pushed against the tongue. That seems a good compromise.

I do not smoke and I never will. So I am reliant on smoking, visiting, Dommes!

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9 Responses to Dominant Smoking Women

  1. sissy jamieanne says:

    I confess that smoking has never done much for me, Ma’am…I consider it a gross, nasty, unhealthy habit, and have never considered it sexy, but…You have clearly shown the uses of a cigarette in the intimidation, humiliation, and punishment of a sub…so, I suppose smoking does have a few redeeming qualities!!!

  2. Play-toy says:

    I would be happy to revert back to smoking 😉

    • An excellent comment Boot Gimp. I nearly wrote more about the ‘angry’ issue in the post but decided I had banged on too much already and may have been bordering on boring my blog followers with my thoughts. There is one aspect of it I enjoy. Pretending to be angry. Then you raise your voice and pull the slave about by hair or ear, and/or slap the slave’s face. You swear within your labelling of the slave. So I mean a phrase like ‘You’re a fucking useless pansy slave. You’re a fucking little worthless piece of shit.‘ (Rather than swearing about anything other than when labelling the slave. – So I would not say, ‘You broke my favourite fucking glass.’) I hope this makes sense. I lobe the idea of him having to carry cigarette butts around in his mouth. I will add that to my list of things to try.

  3. Boot Gimp says:

    I absolutely adore his post Mistress Scarlet, as indeed I do all of your blog. I have first hand experience of being an ashtray slave. My partner/Mistress was a smoker and I loved the feeling of kneeling, looking up, mouth open just waiting for my treat. Then having ash rest on my tongue waiting for the command of swallow. I really miss this, but I am in no way complaining as it was me that was intramental knows her giving up, and it’s now been three years and I am very proud of her. She never put the cigarette out on my tounge and I never swallowed the butt, however I was often made to keep several butts in my mouth while working on chores and I can assure you Mistress Scarlet that this is hugely more disgusting than ash. The taste of three butts breaking up in your mouth as you try desperately to keep them still, all the while polishing boots is quite horrendous and defiantly made my favourite task of boot cleaning far less enjoyable.

    If I could, I would also like to offer my humble view point on the angry/ swearing Domme. Firstly, I am a lifetime submissive ( I agree with an earlier blog about that being sub is just as much part of a person as being gay) I had submissive thoughts and fantasies long long before I ever knew it was a sexual desire. So at 32 years old I can say I have spent probably 25 years thinking of perfect submission/ domination scenarios. You, Mistress Scarlet get everything spot on. Every aspect of your life perfectly ticks all boxes that I have thought up over this time, I.e lots of rules, rituals and next to pointless tasks. ( I say next to pointless as nothing is pointless if the Domme gets pleasure out of it). I one hundred percent agree that the best and most frightening Dommes are those who are calm, dressed smartly but not as a traditional dominatrix and have no need to shout and ball because they can make the sub obey with just a look or a point of Her finger.

    This said, I do have fantasies about having a complete dressing down by a leather/pvc clad Domme who uses the F word every four words. I have thought about why this is for many years and this blog has sparked that thought again. I believe that I fantasise about this for the same reason that most genuinely submissive men are the opposite In vanilla life or the work environment. Opposites are what make subs tick. I am a very strong character and am no way submissive in my place of work or in general every day life. I have had previous relationships where the woman has been the type to have mood swings and shout at me for no reason and think that it’s acceptable. They lasted 5 minutes because I got rid of them. At university I was in a large friendship group and one of the girls in that group was a extremely highly strung, high maintenance girl who always ended up having a go at someone at the end of s night out. I very much disliked her, but as time went on I used to think about how it would feel to b under the control of someone who was the total opposite of what I would look for in a person. I would wonder if I’d be come addicted to the moany, winey voice of someone constantly angry. So what I am trying to say Mistress Scarlet is that even the more intelligent of us subs still crave the things that are very far removed from what we are or what we know is the correct way.

    I consider myself owned by my partner, She is not a lifetime Domme , but now has 5 years experience since meeting me and She is extremely natural. Due to life situations we only live the lifestyle in bursts, but those burst are then 24/7. The rest of the time I am still sub at all times and we have many rules that I follow daily that easily fit into vanilla life. Our situation allows me to request fantasies. If she likes them then we will try them. I have asked many times for a full on dressing down with the finger wagging and swearing etc and she has promised me I will receive this when I deserve it. This is very clever of her as she knows the true sub in me wont ever do anything to get her this annoyed with me. She is very much in the same mind set as You Mistress Scarlet, why shout when a calm patronising tone gets the desired result.

    • sissy jamieanne says:

      I very much enjoyed your reply to this blog entry, boot gimp! Thank you for sharing your views…they provoked some thoughts in me. Of particular interest…and I hear it often is the deep rooted submissive need that manifested itself at an early age! I hear this theme over and over and over!

      My memories go back to about age 7…I specifically recall provoking a Female teacher into spanking me…and at about 12 years old, sneaking panties from my Aunt’s hamper when I stayed with her…and…I always loved playing “school” or “house” as a child…and getting myself spanked by the “teacher” or “mom”…yes, I agree, we may well be programmed this way…it’s just the way we are!

  4. Boot Gimp says:

    I am glad you liked my comment Mistress scarlet. I do see exactly what you mean about pointless swearing and I agree that it is not effective. On another note, you actually blogged a previous comment of mine about having a slave repeat phrases continually while in TSB. Have you tried this with BB yet Mistress Scarlet?

    • I have not yet. I have such a long list of things still to try. It is on the list. It is truly AMAZING that after 15 years of dominating, I still have so many new things to experiment with. Wonderful really, although I am a bit of a stick in the mud, often reverting back to my very favourite things again and again.

  5. jen smith says:

    Hello Mistress Scarlet,

    In my experience, burning with a cigarette (or incense) can be very painful🙂 A small fan is useful if using incense, to keep air fanning the tip to keep it hot.

    The Domme can (generally) control the amount of pain by the amount of time the cigarette is pressed onto the skin… or by using the volume of the subs’ screaming as an indicator – LOL!

    In some sessions, Mistress will burn a circular area all around my ‘rosebud’, then up the perinium, and on to the scrotum. Every once in a while she burns the tip of the penis.

    I am just estimating here as I have never kept count of her work, but in the past she has likely pricked me as many as 30 or 40 times. I have to say this is without a doubt my least tolerable punishment to receive. The scaring and pain are most pronounced after 2 or 3 days, tapering off after a week. The scars do eventually fade.

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