A strong theme in one section of my manual, (to be published later this month I promise), may be controversial. I suggest, and set out how, the dominant ‘satisfies’ the ‘needs’ of the submissive. I imagine there may be dominants, and perhaps even submissives, who in response cry, ‘Hold on, the dominant should be able to do what they want – not be caring about the submissive’s ‘needs’!’
Well, I am not making this proposition out of altruism. I am making it out of selfishness. I believe the ultimate position for the dominant is to have a submissive so in awe that they could not bear the prospect of leaving the dominant, even though they endure a huge amount that they really dislike. So the dominant does get to do whatever they want but there is also some activity and behaviour targeted at meeting the ‘needs’ of that submissive, whatever those needs might be.
Included in this is that punishments are always just a little bit more than the submissive believes they can take. No safe-words. And humiliations and tedium activities may well be well past what the submissive believes they can take. By this approach, paradoxically, the submissive gets their ‘needs’ satisfied, because true submissives must feel they have no power and are helplessly in the complete control of a cruel dominant. I am not talking about one off liaisons here, I am talking about long term relationships.
I have two slaves who endure what they hate almost the whole time I am dominating them, but neither of them could bare to never see me again. They are addicted like I am a drug. What could be a better situation!
I have written this post rather hastily and it is far too brief to properly convey the subject matter but I post it because the approach I outline is not too difficult but does not seem mentioned much in the DS world.