Monthly Archives: March 2018

Cruel Mother-in-law

So following a request I found two letters in my archive from the wonderful old MADAME magazine of the 1980s regarding another mother-in-law. The mother of Mary from Maxstoke. I have posted a letter from Mary and one from her Denise  her friend in the Domme’s Letter section of this blog. The two letters go as far as the previously published letter from Pamela.

I have not read the letters, I am so busy, so let me know if there are any problems with them. I do remember Mary and her mother operating at the pinnacle of petticoat disciple and male subjugation.

I expand below a comment I made in discussion about mothers-in-law and the powerful response this topic has elicited.

I think a mother-in-law (MIL) in charge means that there is no pretending it is just a game. I also think the following:
It is more powerful than sisters-in-law because a MIL in this role is likely to be a widow or divorced and may well have no interest in meeting a new male vanilla partner, meaning they can focus on their new hobby, (of making their SIL miserable for as many of his waking hours as possible), without any distractions. Focus both effort and a great deal of time. Given they may well be retired too, they can indeed become engrossed in their new hobby, it giving them more pleasure than any vanilla hobby and them having 24/7 spare time to do so.

MILs can be extremely defensive over their daughters and if a male has hurt a daughter in some way are likely to hold a very serious grudge for years and years and have no pity in extracting revenge and judicial punishment for hurting their daughter. On the same theme MILs are likely to encourage their daughter to cuckold the male and do anything else for the daughter’s pleasure regardless of the terrible anguish to the male. Their daughter’s happiness being all they would think is important.

Finally the daughter/wife may well be very attractive while the MIL much less so, but the male may have to perform intimate services for the MIL. Another ‘injustice’ over which no guilt or pity will be felt.


LINK to my published journals.

LINK to my published BDSM manual.



essential oils- feminise OR tease and deny

A recent scientific study found that lavender and tea tree oils boost oestrogen and inhibit testosterone in men. I know nothing about the use of essential oils but I thought Dommes may be interested to know about the properties of these oils.

An issue arises. It seems that if you are a Domme most interested in the teasing and denial of a chastity controlled submissive,  you should avoid these oils for your submissive because they will dampen that desperate male drive for orgasm.

While if  you are a Domme most interested in the serious, enforced feminisation of your male submissive, then you should use these oils to the maximum safe levels in order to dampen male traits, promote feminine bodily features and perhaps even some male breast growth.

Obviously if you are a Domme interested in both the teasing and denial of a chastity controlled submissive,  and the serious enforced feminisation of that male submissive then you have a choice to make regarding these oils – to use or not to use, that is the question.

Grand Mistress of Femdom

Some lovely new praise below about my BDSM manual. Of course, I am far from being the ‘Grand Mistress of Femdom’ (see below). There are many more deserving than me of that title; some of whom leave comments on this blog. So many people have already bought a copy of the manual. It really is rewarding.

But no one has yet asked for clarification of anything within the manual via this blog. To those who have obtained the manual already, please leave a comment if any queries arise from reading the content of the manual.

New comments on the Manual

Your book, Gratifying Domination and Submissive Contentent: A Guidance Manual is a fantastic read and such great value for money. I love it. In my opinion the best ever that deals with the subject I love – Female Domination.         It truly stands alone in its field and covers so many topics. It’s brilliant as are all your journals and I love their diary style entries. I have nothing but praise for the Manual and everything You do. You have become the Grand Master on the subject. Or in this case the ” Grand Mistress of Femdom.”

This comment is to do with your Manual. Thank you for the efforts you have made to share your experience and expertise with others. There is not a dull page in the whole book – and many surprises …

February 14, 2018  Format: Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase

Mistress Scarlet really, really gets it. A lot of books out there but this is the real thing

Mother-in-law inherits son-in-law sub

In my post of 11 March 2018 I said I would write more on this delicious topic. Just to remind you,

One twist to this issue I have read about so many times over the years is the transfer of a husband sub to his single mother-in-law. I do find these accounts delicious. In these accounts, many of which I do not doubt for a moment are true, a sub becomes cuckolded and his Domme then falls in love with her cuckolding partner and the partner becomes live-in. And rather than divorced, the sub is ‘adopted’ by his single mother-in-law, (a widow or divorcee). Often in the marriage the sub was initially abusive or an alcoholic, but has been totally conquered to a sub role and once the cuckolding turned to love, passed on to be a 24/7/365 slave to his mother-in-law – who can NEVER forgive the sub’s previous treatment of her precious daughter. And us ladies can find it impossible to let go of a grudge! Lip-smackingly delicious.

Well I have so far found one relevant reader’s letter. I would not be surprised if it is from the late seventies, early eighties. Here it is:

Dear Madam,

As I have written before, my husband became abusive and impossible to live with and with the help of my mother we took him in hand. Here is an update. His minimum shame attire was for him to wear, over his trousers, one of six  very pretty pinafores, and if I were to  tell you that they are so frilly and Feminine that I doubt any sensible women would want to wear them,  them I do not exaggerate.

There are masses of frills, flounces ribbons etc, bizarre connections of humiliation! The materials range from nylon to taffeta, and are guaranteed to reduce him to a wimpering welp. The pinafore the dressmaker made for him to her design is fabulous, and is based on a Victorian childs pinny but more so. It is so elaborate and well made that he could almost wear it as a dress with petticoats under it. She had it so well designed that it takes nearly 10 minutes to put him in it, as it fastens with buttons and ribbons at the back, the material is paper nylon stiffened in sugar, and the frills and huge skirt fairly crackle as he walks.

I insist that he answers the door to all callers whilst pinafored, and to add  to his humiliation, I add pink rubber gloves, and frilled mop cap to his ensemble. He has had many funny remarks made about his condition, the funniest being some years ago when he was asked if ‘the husband was in?’ Two course, older  teenage girls stood taking the mickey out of him for ten minutes, and his training to be courteous to females prevented him from closing the door.

Things have moved on well over the years, he now works again, and is dressed in maids attire every evening, and naturally at weekends. He hands over every penny to me, and I give him £2 a week pocket money. I realise this is too much and my mother says I ought to cut it back, perhaps I will.

He is sober, dare he be anything else, and obviously does not gamble any more.
He can do all the chores, and is spared no mercy, every task has to be done by him and to a ridiculous degree of perfection. I do not touch the housework at all. He has no sex life, being allowed to masturbate only once a month. My mother supervises how many strokes it takes to bring himself off, and if he has not performed in at least 20 downers then it’s a point for the forfeit book.

His relief is controlled by the enforced wearing of a device purchased by my mother in Hamburg. I have the only key and he is re-fastened  straight away after masturbation. Self abuse, a problem with him once, is now impossible.

He is constantly monitored and controlled by my mother and she undertakes his continued training. He is at present undergoing a refresher course on washing and ironing, and for the next month is doing the washing etc. for my friends as well! For instance, last Tuesday he did six hours solid ironing, and then scrubbed two floors, TWICE! He was absolutely knackered when mother dressed him for bed.

Both mother and I bind and cane him for the slightest infraction and most days he will get at least one session of 6 strokes. We also make sure there is a ‘reason’ to give him a severe, very tearful thrashing at least once a week. My female acquaintances who are ‘in the know’ are very hard on him, remembering how he abused me, and are making work for him, as they turn out their wardrobes. One of my friends has four daughters and she enjoys bringing along all their school blouses, dresses etc. for him to do. The idiot has seen enough of pleated skirts and frilled blouses, but we keep piling it on him. The ironing board is set up in the middle of the lounge, facing us, so we can supervise him as we watch T.V.

As mentioned earlier, we have the occasional ‘forfeit’ evening when the penalty points have gone over the top, and these are really opportunities to have a drink and a good laugh at his expense. Preparation for ‘forfeit evening’ is always done by mother, and she takes him off to her room for sometimes hours at a time. But, when she has finished with him he always looks a ‘real burk’. He is always dressed in his party frock, but mother often varies the under pinnings and accessories. Mother plasters his face with cheap make-up, and be-decks his hair in various wigs and ribbons. And soaks him in the cheapest  teenagers’ perfume. When all the guests have arrived he is made to come downstairs and stand behind the closed lounge door.

He knocks and asks in his best ‘little girl’ voice, can come in, and the reply is always  ‘Yes’. The girls are hardly able to wait to see what mother’s done to him this time. The playacting then takes a different turn, as mother throws open the door and drags him behind her. He is then pushed into the centre of the circle for inspection by all present. The roars of laughter have to be heard to be appreciated, as they point and jeer at him. It always intrigues me how us girls can be so cruel when we have a male cornered.

Mother has done her usual job and turned him into a weeping ‘powder puff, this time preferring to put him in three extra petticoats, thus flouncing his tiered party frock out into a ludicrous knee length crinoline. A pretty fancy pinafore sits crazily over his frock, there are frills everywhere, on bending down frilly panties, along with an obvious nappy and plastic pants are exposed. When he tries to sit, petticoats cascade around him,
reducing him to a truly penitent parody of a little girl. His pinafore mocks his every attempt at control, huge frills at his puff sleeves set off his helplessness. His hair is adorned with a ringlet wig and ribbons. He talks in a lisp, and walks most awkwardly. He is our own ‘Shirley Temple’ for the night, and we proceed to put him through his paces for several hours.

When he is allowed to crawl away he is truly repentent. I have known some of the girls actually reduced to tears of laughter as they make him ‘perform’, and some of the ideas they come up with are very bizarre. He obviously absolutely hates these evenings and works like a beaver to avoid forfeit points and the resultant punishment.

The following day is called ‘mothers day’ and my dear mother has him completely to herself. Mother’s day often gets stretched out to three days. He is so humiliated from the forfeit night that he is especially docile. Mother usually keeps him in his party frock as she makes him perform endless menial tasks for her. I can ensure you after several days in that dress he is glad to get back into his maid’s uniform. On average I would say he experiences ‘total humiliation’ on forfeit nights about twice a month.

My two lovers are aware I petticoat my slave/male but are not allowed to see him fully dressed.  (They have to be obedient to me to remain my lovers). The right to humiliate and inflict strict petticoat control is one only women can administer and should not involve the male, apart from the ‘victim’ of course.

My satisfaction is reached when my slave/male witnesses my uncontrolled love-making as he stands pinafored at the foot of the bed, as he is to remain passive and merely watches
as I am sexed by 15 stone of blonde male.

When we have both fulfilled ourselves he is allowed thank me for the reminder of what he will never ever deserve to have again. Mother is always telling him what a great ‘pansy’ he is, and how she has never seen her daughter more content! And she is right!

One must remember he is only allowed to masturbate for sex, during which he is very strictly controlled and degraded by my mother during his monthly ‘treat’. Proper satisfaction is not allowed, and my chastity belt I had purchased specially for him makes sure no ‘hanky panky’ goes on, if he tried to get an erection wearing it, I am sure he would
castrate himself, so well fitting is the cage and straps.

Some of your readers may find my ideas difficult to comprehend, but they must realise that for years I was humiliated by having an abusive lush for a husband who squandered money. Now it is my turn to humiliate him.

My methods are extreme but they work. He knows who the boss is now and has done for some years, he wears petticoats to remind him of his position and to emphasise his
punishment for what he has done to me. They also prevented him originally from leaving the house to return to drink binges and I believe to certain early death. I admit I get pleasure from seeing him put to work and rendered submissive, but I know he deserves all he is getting, and indeed what he is to get, as I have not finished with him yet. It is my intention to carry on with petticoat control for his life-time, I do not intend to ever let him adopt the role of a true male again, I do not ever wish to return to the position of  housewife and chattel. That is HIS role!

My mother and I intend to add to his wardrobe this summer with two new outfits. One designed on traditional ballet lines, i.e. very fancy tu-tu in pink net and nylon, and a the second, a replica Alice in Wonderland style costume. Both dresses to have full underpinnings and accessories. The three dresses he wears now are still in very good condition, and bear testimony to the dressmaker who fashioned them.

One can safely assume that this is one female who does not intend to bow the knee to any man, and as my mother is only in her mid fifties my slave/male can assume he has many
more years in front of him, dressed in his ‘frilly pretties’.

LINK to my published journals.

LINK to my published BDSM manual.


pansy-piece photo

Well recently it was the birthday of Mistress Nicola’s husband-puppet, pansy-piece. As an aside I will mention Volume 12 of my journals, which is nearly finished now, includes an account of what happened to pansy-piece before, during and after Nicola and I took the poor thing to a restaurant for his birthday meal.

I also subsequently visited to see what presents Mistress Nicola had bought him. In the photo you can see some of the presents. The pansy bonnet, the baby reins, the false eyelashes and the sweet sissy shoes. How ridiculous does he look! The shame annihilated him when we had him look at himself in front of a full-length mirror in his pansy finery, while we stood arms around each others’ waists,  and we verbally abused him for being among other things, a born again virgin, sissy, pansy- piece, cuckold.


Zero vanilla time = extreme lifestyle?

I cover this topic in my BDSM Manual but I thought I would post about it firstly, because the greater number of lifestyle couples I learn about, the more interested in the topic I become, and secondly…………. you will read later on in the post.

When a couple are in a Femdom relationship, it seems to me that the most major determinant of how extreme is that relationship, is how much the Domme enjoys the vanilla company of their sub as a supplement to her enforcing, full-on BDSM activity time.

I know I am thought of by many as an extreme lifestyle Domme, but I don’t think I am. The reason I don’t is the considerable number of activities in which I want bitch-boy’s vanilla company, not slave company. Dining out and eating a Michelin quality meal, watching a great movie, time with vanilla friends and family, holiday travel in the UK or abroad, or when I am unwell and hunkered down on the sofa watching a great box set. He is very intelligent, witty, articulate, well read and educated and I enjoy and want to exploit those facets of his.

As I write in my BDSM manual, despite this vanilla time, I truly do consider him my 24/7/365  toy and possession and I explain these vanilla times to him by saying I am choosing to exploit his vanilla attributes for MY PLEASURE. My choice! He gets no say in that. Just the same as when he gets no say in me telling him in the morning to shower and get ready for a day or two, (or more) of full-on BDSM use and abuse. (I guess I am considered extreme because I have zero qualms or guilt when reducing him to tears with punishment or torture, or causing him to be physically trembling with the anxiousness of awaiting a new female visitor in his profoundly humiliating parody of a little girl outfit – holding his ‘favourite’ dolly, or putting him into 5 hours of sensory deprivation bondage, wearing a nettle penis pouch, while I cuckold him with my girlfriend, etc.

But I know of, and read about, couples in which the Domme gets so little from the sub’s vanilla company that the vanilla time is eradicated and the BDSM time becomes 24/7/365. I consider these Dommes and their relationships much more extreme than mine. Almost always in such relationships, the Domme has one or more other people with whom to enjoy vanilla company and activities. Sometimes this is a cuckolding partner, (when it has become about vanilla time as well as the sex), which is probably the most extreme, but oftentimes it is a non-sexual partner. Oftentimes the partner knows of and joins in with the domination of the sub, but sometimes not. These subs often find themselves home alone for hours or days or locked in a basement or cupboard for long durations while the Domme and partner are in the home. Obviously I am in no way criticising these amazing Dommes. It is simply a lifestyle difference in which I am interested.

There are some 24/7/365 rules which pervade my vanilla time with bitch-boy. 24/7/365 chastity control, the picking up after rule, the replenishment rule, etc. Lifestyle stereotyping and pigeon-holing is never black and white which does make it difficult to write about accurately. I know another grey area is BDSM couples with children and all the time the children are present.

Many subs who have reasonable amounts of vanilla time with their Dommes fantasise about a slave life where there is no vanilla time for them. To them I say BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!

This topic has come into my head because, now I have given up work, I may be having a holiday or two with retired friends which would be of a full weeks duration. I am wondering if I could organise for a BDSM friend to ‘babysit’ bitch-boy for the whole duration. (Or several friends to do shifts of two or three days at a time, or perhaps have him delivered to a pro dominatrix for some of those days.) I would perhaps dominate him, full-on, for two or three days before I left for the holiday and immediately for another two or three days on my return. He would experience, say, 13 days with zero vanilla time. He would get a profound experience and I cannot deny I would be constantly thrilled while on my holiday thinking of his 24/7 time being ‘babysat’, and then exhilarated to come home and heartlessly continue his ‘experience’ into an 11th, 12th and 13th day. I can promise I would pick  ‘babysitters’ who would have ZERO interest in anything other than 24/7 full-on use and abuse of him. Food for thought.

One twist to this issue I have read about so many times over the years is the transfer of a husband sub to his single mother-in-law. I do find these accounts delicious. In these accounts, many of which I do not doubt for a moment are true, a sub becomes cuckolded and his Domme then falls in love with her cuckolding partner and the partner becomes live-in. And rather than divorced, the sub is ‘adopted’ by his single mother-in-law, (a widow or divorcee). Often in the marriage the sub was initially abusive or an alcoholic, but has been totally conquered to a sub role and once the cuckolding turned to love, passed on to be a 24/7/365 slave to his mother-in-law – who can NEVER forgive the sub’s previous treatment of her precious daughter. And us ladies can find it impossible to let go of a grudge! Lip-smackingly delicious.

I may well publish a blog post on the many cruel facets of such a scenario and perhaps find a couple of reader’s letters from the old Madam magazines on the scenario.


My published journals of my day to day life.

Those Innate Drives- Good and Bad

So humans are born with powerful drives already installed. For males that drive to make offspring has handily morphed into the more simple drive to orgasm, (without another human present if that is the only option when the drive kicks in). Two or three times a day if many of them could. So control those orgasms and control the man, torture the man, humiliate the man. Females have a drive for orgasms derived only from the endorphins pleasure the orgasms bring, so can do without for periods of time with rather more decorum than males. (I can see no female drive for sexual pleasure linked to any drive to have babies, just saying.)

Obviously there is the bad drive for consuming calories, not helpful! Then there is the competitive drive. Overall not helpful, I believe. (Drive to achieve – good. Drive to compete, requiring beating someone else to win, requiring someone to lose, to win – not good.) And males are, as a general stereotyping, more often much more competitive than females. (Perhaps 80% of men and 20% of women.)

So what has all this got to do the BDSM?

There are male submissives who want to compete on how many cane strokes they can take. And can they take more than last time? I don’t know how professional Dominatrix  have the perseverance to deal with such males – what they want is so far away from any sort of eroticism. There are males that want to stretch their scrotums longer than any one else, have the most genital piercings, etc. etc.

And male managed Tumblr sites are a great example of the problem of male competitiveness. CFNM sites, purporting to be on a Femdom theme, but hundreds of images of clothed females and naked males in which the males are having a great time. Why are those images on the site? For any other reason than the male trying to have a huge number of images, perhaps more images than any other ‘CFNM’ Tumblr site? This drive for numbers rather than relevant quality is apparent on so many male managed sites covering many different allegedly femdom themes. Numbers instead of relevance and quality.

If you are a submissive male, you may find your competitiveness is often unhelpful but have never thought about this hidden drive you are unaware is having an effect on your behaviour. Perhaps ask your dominant if you exhibit this unerotic trait.


Times have changed.

Obviously not in every country in the world have times changed, and some countries are going backwards in freeing women from oppression, (Turkey being the worst regressing country at the moment).

But overall in the civilised world, women’s oppression is being eradicated and the images in this link are fascinating and amusing, (one example below); and SHOCKING when you appreciate the original posters are REAL! But then given the number of countries that still profoundly oppress their women, perhaps not so surprising. Religion certainly has a lot to answer for in those countries and not just Islam. Oppression of women is carried out in the names of Judaism, Christianity and even Buddhism in a good number of countries.











LINK to my published journals.

LINK to my published BDSM manual.






Huge Ribbon Bows

Before addressing huge ribbon bows, regular readers of my blog will know that when forcing a sub into sissy attire or parody of a little girl attire, (or parody of a schoolgirl attire),  I favour a little dress that comes down only to the hips. Huge humiliation is inflicted from the front if the shaved genitals with a restraint locked on are in view, or just shaved and soft; indicating it is no sexual pleasure at all for the humiliated male to be treated so. And humiliation from the rear too if the butt and/or backs of thighs display the results of a recent harsh punishment.

But it seems from the reactions of the helpless males I have been involved with that almost as bad, OR PERHAPS WORSE, is a huge ribbon bow on the top of the head.

I am not sure why this causes such miserable shame but it certainly seems to. Especially when the trembling victim must look into the mirror at the shameful, ridiculous image they make.

The huge bow I currently possess is on an elasticated loop which is rather difficult to locate properly and does not often remain in place for long, requiring annoying constant attention. (It, together with the dress in the photo are the exact items I use on bitch-boy for his most extreme humiliation experiences! Without panties of course!)


So do any of you dear readers know of a supply source of a huge pink ribbon bow suitable for application to a helpless male’s head with a reliable and effective fixing method?

I think for completeness I should add that, when so dressed, having to walk in the mincing style also has a HUGE humiliation effect too.

LINK to my published journals.

LINK to my published BDSM manual.