Those Innate Drives- Good and Bad

So humans are born with powerful drives already installed. For males that drive to make offspring has handily morphed into the more simple drive to orgasm, (without another human present if that is the only option when the drive kicks in). Two or three times a day if many of them could. So control those orgasms and control the man, torture the man, humiliate the man. Females have a drive for orgasms derived only from the endorphins pleasure the orgasms bring, so can do without for periods of time with rather more decorum than males. (I can see no female drive for sexual pleasure linked to any drive to have babies, just saying.)

Obviously there is the bad drive for consuming calories, not helpful! Then there is the competitive drive. Overall not helpful, I believe. (Drive to achieve – good. Drive to compete, requiring beating someone else to win, requiring someone to lose, to win – not good.) And males are, as a general stereotyping, more often much more competitive than females. (Perhaps 80% of men and 20% of women.)

So what has all this got to do the BDSM?

There are male submissives who want to compete on how many cane strokes they can take. And can they take more than last time? I don’t know how professional Dominatrix  have the perseverance to deal with such males – what they want is so far away from any sort of eroticism. There are males that want to stretch their scrotums longer than any one else, have the most genital piercings, etc. etc.

And male managed Tumblr sites are a great example of the problem of male competitiveness. CFNM sites, purporting to be on a Femdom theme, but hundreds of images of clothed females and naked males in which the males are having a great time. Why are those images on the site? For any other reason than the male trying to have a huge number of images, perhaps more images than any other ‘CFNM’ Tumblr site? This drive for numbers rather than relevant quality is apparent on so many male managed sites covering many different allegedly femdom themes. Numbers instead of relevance and quality.

If you are a submissive male, you may find your competitiveness is often unhelpful but have never thought about this hidden drive you are unaware is having an effect on your behaviour. Perhaps ask your dominant if you exhibit this unerotic trait.


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3 Responses to Those Innate Drives- Good and Bad

  1. It seems the definition between a ‘good’ (for want of a better word) sub and someone to play with is what they get out of it. True submission is the sub sacrificing for the pleasure of his Dom/Domme. The definition of sub has grown very fuzzy but at least it makes it easier to sift through them all. I would always look for the one who is true to themselves.

  2. K says:

    You are correct, Mistress: male submissives in particular are guilty of competing to be the “most” submissive. The desire for a submissive to do more inevitably pushes the dominant, which in turn leads to “topping from the bottom” even if both parties are not aware that the switch has been made. You often describe doing exactly what bitch-boy fears or dreads the most – what he finds dull and unrewarding, in particular – a disregard for what “arouses” him which circumvents the possibility that his servitude pleases him. Only a true sadist can achieve this, and only a true masochist would return for more.

  3. shirley says:

    Mistress Scarlet:

    When I read this “And male managed Tumblr sites are a great example of the problem of male competitiveness. CFNM sites, purporting to be on a Femdom theme, but hundreds of images of clothed females and naked males in which the males are having a great time.” it brought a big smile to my face. What a great point you make!!!!!

    Anytime that I have been naked in front of clothed females I blush and feel very unsure of myself.

    My annual physical comes to mind. The primary health care professional is a Woman…very nice, and professional, but certainly possesses an air of authority and confidence.

    My annual physical is in December so it is always chilly…but it seems like the examining rooms are keep on the chilly side as well. The nurse always has me disrobe and don a skimpy robe that she wants open in the front and then leaves me to await the Doctor.

    I usually get chilled awaiting the Doctor (usually 20-25 minutes) and of course you know what being chilled can do to a male appendage.

    Finally the Doctor shows up, and these days the nurse has to be present as well. The Doctor has me remove the robe and there I am in my birthday suit in front of two completely clothed and I might add smirking females.

    The Doctor gently inspects my penis and balls…….not saying much but taking time to get a good look and feel for any bumps or such….and the nurse looks on with interest…..(I am hoping that I don’t get an embarrassing erection).

    And then the most humbling event…..I am to bend over at the waist, put my hands on my buttocks and spread them wide……next thing I know there is a finger being slipped up my ass….and with great gusto I might add. I am not sure if the “gusto” part is necessary to get past my sphincter, or just the Doctor enjoys embarrassing me a little. And occasionally the probing is so long and heavy that a drop or two of sperm oozes out the end of my penis. Really embarrassing that at my age I can’t control myself better!!!!

    Finally it is over. Both Women appear that what just happened was a normal everyday occurrence…and I suppose it is for them. But for me, being naked and administered to by these two Women is nothing that I would smile about…..yet being submissive it is quite a humbling feeling that I take with me from the Doctor’s.

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