I received a comment and I would like to put my responses to this comment to my dear submissive blog followers to elicit their views.
Part 1 of the comment:
I’m a submissive, so I can speak to my own experience. It can frustrate me that my motivation to submit can crash after intense sexual experiences (after climax, especially) I don’t know if that means should somehow learn to love it even when I feel “crashed”or try not to crash.
MY RESPONSE TO PART 1: In my experience, if the male feels helplessly dominated as a lifestyle, never allowed safe-words or boundaries, never allowed to say when domination does or does not take place. A true helpless puppet. Then the period after climax of not feeling submissive, lasts only a minute or so, or does not appear at all.
Whereas if the domination is a game and the ‘submissive’ can say at any time, <em>’not today’ </em>or <em>’I don’t want to do that'</em>, then there is no real lifestyle domination and the loss of feelings of submissiveness can last quite some time.
The principle applies with enforced tedium I think. If the ‘submissive’ is given a tedious, time consuming chore, especially that has to be repeated week after week after week, and knows he has zero option but to do the chore, then despite the feeling of tedium there are also sporadic feelings of deep submissiveness, sometimes very deep. Whereas if the ‘submissive’ is given a tedious, time consuming chore but knows he could say, ‘I am not doing that’, or knows after ten minutes he can stop because he is bored, then there is no feeling of submissiveness during the tedium.
Its all about whether there is REAL POWER and that the domination is not a game.
I have REAL POWER. bitch-boy is addicted to me and could never leave me despite hating so much of what I do to him. He knows he is lucky to have me and must always obey me to keep me. So my domination is not a game. I do with him what I want, when I want. I cuckold him whenever I want. NOT A GAME!
Part 2 of the comment:
I can see how domming would get tedious, especially with a needy sub.
MY RESPONSE TO PART 2: If by ‘a needy sub’ you mean a sub that wants to be dominated in certain ways but not in other ways, then that is both tedious for the Domme and the Domme has no real power. Again it is nothing more than a game. When the Domme, like me, has REAL POWER, it is never tedious. It never gets boring. It is THRILLING! It is AROUSING! It is addictive.
The ideal is when there are activities which deeply affect the sub and which the Domme also finds very pleasurable. Given there are so many potential activities to experience, activities which tick both parties’ boxes should be possible to find. The great paradox of course is that a true submissive will be deeply affected by having to experience things they really, really hate, (at the time). But afterwards, when they reflect on how cruel their Domme has been, reflect on those terrible activities, they are in awe of their cruel, pitiless Domme and feel even more submissive and addicted to the Domme.
LINK to my published journals.
LINK to my published BDSM manual.