Monthly Archives: May 2018

The power of ‘nope’.

Following on from yesterday’s post really: When a Domme is utterly relaxed and untroubled in the face of serious, desperate pleading from her submissive, the status difference and supremacy are really brought home. And the simple word, ‘nope’, is a wonderful word in such circumstances.












When your sub in chastity has not had a proper orgasm for many weeks and you happen to be walking by, naked apart from high heeled mules and a totally see-thru dressing gown. Its all too much for him and he drops to his knees  and pleads, ‘Please can I have a proper orgasm, please Mistress, please Mistress, please.‘ Without even looking at him, ‘Nope’.

When the sub is all dressed up in his prettiest, most ridiculous parody of a little girl dress and the Domme’s friends are to arrive in half an hour. ‘Please can I wear something else, please Mistress, please Mistress, please.‘ Without even looking up from the magazine the Domme is reading, ‘Nope’.


Link to journal 12.




Pitiless Cruelty is Key

Although a difficult topic to properly describe, I have written before about how a true submissive has to be forced to endure things they truly do not like in order to feel properly content.  Many things they truly do not like, do however begin as an arousing fantasy theme for them. (Immediately one can appreciate the difficulty writing about such a subject.) But thankfully, so often is it the case, that what was an arousing fantasy for them, turns out to be horrific in real life and so when forced into it, the overall life contentment comes, (as does awe of their cruel, pitiless Mistress).

Examples may include being dressed as a parody of a little girl and having to play with dollies in front of a couple of mocking friends of the Mistress. Or being put into inescapable chastity and only getting proper orgasms very rarely. Or being regularly secured into rigid sensory deprivation bondage for, say, three to six hours. Enduring the pitiless application of cruelty leaves them paradoxically content; AND in awe of their cruel Mistress.

There are however some activities that cross a psychological boundary and do not make the sub feel submissive or aroused or content. It sounds like a minefield but really, it is all quite easy to navigate.

This brings me to the point of this post, (phew!) – pitiless cruelty and its effect on true submissives. An interesting phenomenon is how subs can get aroused and feel submissive watching or reading about something that crosses their psychological boundary and would turn them off and stop them feeling submissive were it done to them. So one can deduce it is the pitiless cruelty of the Domme in the scenario that affects them and not the activity she is enforcing. So my point: pitiless cruelty is sooooooo important. Showing mercy is unhelpful when you are a Domme seeking to have your sub deeply in awe of you, addicted to you and feeling content overall.

And of course the second aspect of pitiless cruelty and not showing mercy is how arousing it is for the Domme. When that heartfelt begging and pleading starts and it is IGNORED. Then the Domme’s arousal gets serious and when the terrible thing is all over, for today, the sub is full of awe and contentment.

When I write above, that showing mercy is a bad thing, obviously there are times when a point is reached that mercy can be shown, but this probably should not happen until there has been a lot of that heartfelt pleading and begging. (I know there are a few very quiet subs who barely ever plead. Has anyone, Domme or sub, a solution to that? I would adore help on this.)

Sometimes there will be no heartfelt pleading because the sub knows that there is no point as the terrible thing will happen anyway, whether they plead or not. BUT, what a delicious joy when they still beg with all their hearts, despite knowing there is no point and the terrible thing will happen anyway, because the terrible thing is so terrible they cannot help themselves but to pointlessly beg. SO AROUSING!

Three examples with bitch-boy come to mind. The first is when I have used nettle leaves to ‘dust’ the shaft of his clitty. He is moaning and writhing but then I hold his clitty upright, foreskin back and show my intention to ‘dust’ the exposed head of his clitty with the nettles.  So very, very painful around the head and especially around the very sensitive entrance to the urethra! Oh the pointless begging is a joy. He knows I am going to do it, he knows his begging is pointless but it is so terrible for him, he pleads anyway. Delicious.

The second example, when there are no nettles to hand, and he is already secured for a few hours of sensory deprivation bondage. Before the blindfold is fitted, as you followers know, I always apply some ‘lovely’ ointment to his clitty which I first make hard. I ALWAYS APPLY SOME! But if he sees me pick up the Linnex applicator (which seriously burns and for a much longer duration than any other ointment),  the pointless begging starts, even though he knows I will not change my mind. Again, so delicious.

The final example, and perhaps the most enjoyable, pointless, heartfelt begging. I have him dressed in his most absolutely ridiculous parody of a little girl outfit. Pink frilled, beribboned dress coming down only to his hips. Shaved, limp genitalia on full display. Huge pink ribbon bow atop his head. Holding his dolly. Bells on pink,  frilly ankle and wrist cuffs, tinkle when he moves. I am dressed in pencil skirt and blouse and court shoes. My normal clothes intensifying his ludicrous, shame outfitting. AND WE ARE WAITING. A Domme he has never met before, (although I will have met her), is about to arrive. We have perhaps a 20 minute wait. bitch-boy actually begins to physically tremble. I am smiling like a relaxed, cruel Cheshire cat and so aroused. He begins to plead to be allowed out of this awake nightmare in some way. I  smile and shake my head and show him how relaxed and unmoved I am. Five minutes of silence go by, as I imagine he contemplates what is to come, and the pleading begins again. Another five minutes of silence; it begins yet again. DELICIOUS! Sometimes he sobs a little while he pleads. Sometimes he drops to his knees and kisses my shoes while he pleads. LIFE DOES NOT GET ANY BETTER, OR MORE AROUSING !


(Click on the image below for more info on my BDSM manual.)


The cruel Mistress Serena

Below is an account sent to me on Fetlife by cuckolded, chastity controlled,  tiffanymaid. I thought it may be of interest to followers.

Painful Reading….
Whilst awaiting delivery of Mistress Scarlets most recent Journal (Volume 12), Mistress Serena (my MistressWife) suggested my initial reading on arrival would be kneeling before Her on my knees, and any arousal from my clitty during this, would be punished accordingly, knowing full well the effect Mistress Scarlet’s Journals & blog have.

On the evening following delivery, i was required to kneel, as planned, before my Mistress, CB6000s removed, initially naked, and then ordered to wear my firmest corset….thus my bare clitty and nipples both displayed. After sending me to serve Her a glass of Rioja, She slowly unpacked the Journal. Teasingly, She perused the cover and browsed through the content, ordering me to lick and kiss Her heels while She did so. After about ten minutes She deemed it time to start.

You will read “The first visit of Mistress Nicola” and ” Mistress Nicola’s second visit“…. You will read aloud and clearly, and you will be punished if you show any signs of arousal. i nodded meekly, my mouth dry in anticipation, partially in excitement of a new Journal, and partially with some concern, knowing i always get aroused (usually in my chastity cage) when reading Mistress Scarlets journals. It took only a couple of pages before my clitty was twitching, and Mistress was having none of it.

“Stop!” She looked at me and then my clitty. “Mat ! “…. my first chastisement being made to kneel directly on my coir mat for the remaining hour scheduled. ( Initially the coir isn’t too bad, but when made to move on the mat and as time passes it is actually very, very uncomfortable. )

“Continue”. It was only a matter of time before i was, once again, commanded to cease. Though only semi erect, my clitty was leaking. Her look of disgust spoke volumes, and after wiping the leaking fluid on my lips Mistress Serena gathered the Wartenburg wheel, plastic ruler and toothbrush. In turn, all were applied to my clit, which remarkably only caused me to arouse further, which both amused and angered Mistress in equal measure. “Oh my Tiffany dear, you are a glutton for punishment, are you not ?” i nodded, as my clitty hurt and glowed red. It is strange, but i do find the initial clitty discipline always makes me hard, only decreasing as Mistress punishes it further.

On returning to my reading, i found it hard to concentrate as my clitty hurt and burned. Then i started to read in a speedy, monotonous tone and Mistress had to intervene and stop me yet again. Fortunately, this didn’t result in punishment, but mere verbal chastisement and the order to slow down and put some emphasis and tone into my delivery. Feeling calmer i continued to read more clearly, however as i progressed deeper into bitch-boys servitude and shaming in the text, i soon displayed a far too proud erection.

“Right ..that’s it bitch ! ” Mistress Serena was out of Her seat… “Stop”. She said nothing, She didn’t need to, as i looked down at what i could feel. i already knew what was coming. A tight leather collar was placed above my balls, and Mistress then placed three nettle stems with leaves into the pink nettle pouch….without ceremony the pouch was pulled into place, the drawstring tightened and two small elastic bands added to ensure contact. i was squealing, all but crying as the nettles stung and caused great pain and discomfort, adding to this, due to my movement, my knees were agony, and i could hardly kneel upright as my weight centred on my knees and the coir matting.

Swaying, trembling, sobbing, i don’t know how i carried on with my reading. As i read my concentration distracted, my reading became a mess. Serena’s great amusement and laughter continued as i was encouraged onto the next chapter. Now in its nettle pouch, my clitty stinging, sore and raw; the liklihood of erection fading, my next punishment was for “making too much fuss”, as Mistress described it. Nipple clamps were put in place adding further pain and discomfort to my dilemma.

i had been reading for near fifty minutes before my final punishment was applied. Twenty five of those minutes in the nettle pouch. Mistress Serena, removed the pouch and after an amused inspection added a dose of Deep Heat treatment. my final ten to fifteen minutes reading time was spent in agony. At its conclusion i could hardly kneel such was the pain in my sore knees, nipples raw and my clitty was looking very sad indeed, and no arousal in sight !

On completion, Mistress Serena decided i need not put my CB6000s back on, but instead She produced a leather pinsleeve restrainer we used to use many, many years back. It is a cruel device, a leather sleeve with lacing that fits snugly on the penis, the cruelest part being the pins. There are eight in total. Two rows of three and one row of two, and are a quarter of an inch in size…and rounded at the end. This is a lot worse than a sharp pin as it allows arousal and only then do the rounded pins dig in and cause immense pain, leaving you trying to alleviate any hardness that has appeared. Serena placed the restrainer about my flaccid clit and laced it tightly, adding a padlock at the top and another at the base. The restrainer is attached to a small leather collar that is buckled around the scrotum.

After tidying and washing dishes downstairs, i assisted Mistress to prepare for bed. As a “reward” Mistress Serena told me i could read further to myself, again knowing full well the outcome, as did i. By now my discomforts had eased, though the nettle stings lasted into the night. i knew any reading would result in pain, but could i resist…………no !

Two wonderfully documented chapters kept me engaged and in awe, and sadly very aroused. The pain was immense and lengthy. Despite this i leaked. This time undetected and spent my night in very wet panties. Mistress Serena removed the restrainer next morning, during O/our daily morning routine, observing the nasty marks made and swiftly replaced it with  my ever present CB6000s… Despite all, i love my Mistress/Wife.

Link to journal 12.



Real-life lifestyle Issues

Here is a comment/question I received from a lifestyle Domme and my answer. Does anyone deal with the issue another way?

Mistress Scarlet,
My sub and I have started reading your guidance manual and I have to say it has dramatically improved our lifestyle. I want to thank you for writing such a wonderfully informative book. We are still in the early stages of our DS relationship even though we are married and have been together for several years, but this book has become our “bible” so-to-speak, for our transition into the lifestyle.

I have a question relating to maintaining the DS lifestyle in special circumstances which I am finding particularly difficult, and I welcome any advice you can offer.

I recently became ill with a stomach virus that lasted for several days and during that time we completely lost the ability to maintain the lifestyle. We have adopted the practice of my declaring vanilla time when necessary (in public or for my satisfaction) but during this time I felt so badly that I just didn’t know how to incorporate my dominance while feeling particularly vulnerable.

What advice can you give to help us maintain during these times or would you recommend the establishment of a “default evocation” of vanilla time?

A default evocation can work where the sub should see the level of illness of the Domme and move into helping vanilla mode. With failure to do so resulting in severe punishment when the Domme is again fit. However that does bring in a grey area and uncertainty/ambiguity which can be very unhelpful. Will a bit of a cold count as being that ill?

In those circumstances, I simply tell bitch-boy that I am ill and it is vanilla time until further notice. Is that helpful?


(Click on the image below for more info on my BDSM manual.)


Governess Malice

Some early reviews of Volume 12 of my journals.


Just got to the last chapter and ‘Governess Malice’ – WOW – just WOW!


posting to comment on Volume12.
i have only partially read the Volume at this point. (in a random order). On arrival, Mistress Serena postponed opening the package until evening, when i was stripped naked and then ordered to wear only a firm corset. i was ordered to read the book aloud before Her, and any arousal would be punished…. and it was !

i have read “The first visit of Mistress Nicola”, “Mistress Nicola’s second visit” (both aloud, on knees before Serena), and alone in locked leather Penile Pinsleeve Restrainer, “Pansy-piece’s birthday meal” & “bitch-boys Birthday”. May i say without fear of contradiction, both Mistress & i found it awesome. i was punished on five levels when reading aloud, and when allowed to read the latter two entries, i suffered immense pain as the rounded 1/4 inch points bit into my attempted erection, and i soaked my panties despite the deterrent. i (We/we) embrace Your writing, detail and structure. Both Mistress & i deem ideas from Your Guide & Journals, and recommend them 100%.
Link to journal 12.




Mixed vanilla and DS life

I have mentioned before that in some DS relationships the Domme ALWAYS prefers DS time to vanilla time. These are the most full-on DS relationships. This post is unlikely to be relevant to them.

Then there are the relationships like mine. I have my bitch-boy puppet toy on the shelf and, I can, anytime I want to, take him down from the shelf, abuse him and hurt him and humiliate him and make him very miserable for as long as I want. VERY AROUSING. (Apart from 24/7/365 chastity), the rest of the time I use bitch-boy for his vanilla attributes and company. Watching some great TV, great DVDs, fine food, travel, vanilla socialising, etc. So what is the point of this post? The quick little VERY REGULAR things that reinforce status during vanilla times.

Kissing my footwear EVERYTIME we are about to leave the house, leave the hotel room, leave the guest bedroom when staying at a vanilla friends house. I can look down and get the power rush the act provides, and he is reminded of his status. Importantly, a few words from me to remind him I own him and use him for what I want, whenever I want. Perhaps if the floor is tile or timber, drop a little spit from my mouth to be licked up by him before he rises. Or have him on his back and briefly wipe my soles over his tongue.

No pleases and thank you’s.  Its quite hard to train oneself out of saying please and thank you, but well worth it for use exclusively with your sub. All sorts of vanilla occasions when a request for something directed at your sub sounds to him like an order from his imperious Mistress, but sounds like a simple innocent request to those around you at the time. And even easier when he has brought something to you, to take it without acknowledgement of him, or thanks to him.

Any blog followers using any other quick and simple reminders of status during vanilla time?


(Click on the image below for more info.)

It’s the sub’s job

In my post of  28 April 2018  I mentioned placing mirrors for enhancing effect. They can be tricky to set up; what with getting the angles and distance right. A top tip is to have the mirror as close to the subs face as possible. This gives the sub the most panoramic view, so is likely to pick up a view of the Domme. But the point of this post is: Remember ladies you have a sub to do such things, you don’t have to deal with the grunt work.

When I want to put poor bitch-boy into a few hours of extreme sensory deprivation bondage, involving a lot of equipment, I tell him to get it all ready and come and get me when it is ready. If I want to have him tied by his balls to the upright bed rail at the foot of the bed before I bind his wrists behind him, (for him to watch me cuckolding him), I have him undertake the tricky job of tightly buckling the little pink cat collar around his balls and the bed rail.

Some paraphernalia can be difficult to source and set up. Get you sub to do the sourcing and setting up. Grunt work is the sub’s work.

And when the Domme is finally satiated in every way and its time to relax with her sub –  depravity over for the day. OBVIOUSLY its the sub’s job to tide away all equipment, wash out piss ice chunk containers and funnels, dispose of soaked diapers, put battery powered massagers onto charge, etc. Grunt work is the sub’s work.

And of course there is a certain delicious spitefulness in having a sub prepare his own fate and clean up afterwards!

More young women to be dominant?

I wonder if there is an avenue into young women at colleges and university to spread the word about what a great life they could have as a dominant wife. It is widely believed that there are around 100 sub men to each dominant women and scanning BDSM contact sites, (excluding women in it for money only), that statistic stands up. I am sure this is because of societal pressures on women to be weaker than men and the incorrect notion that submissive men are weak men. If young women could understand that it is possible to have absolute power over a husband, yet he still be a powerful partner when a powerful partner is needed, this would help sway the balance.

Below is another comment received yesterday on my BDSM manual. As I have written before, nothing gives me greater satisfaction than the thought that I am helping another woman enjoy the sort of life I do, and as a side effect making a true submissive content. But could more women be exposed to the possibilities while in their late teens, early twenties?

I occasionally read him passages when he gets too curious. He has commented that he is not sure he likes me reading your manual. That gives me pleasure. You are spot on in your assessments and I have never been so fulfilled in my relationship. Thank you!


(Click on the image below for more info.)