Maximise the extreme

We all have different versions of extreme. When it comes to being extreme I am not near some of the activities of the fabulous Dommes who place comments on this blog, (Although others think I am very extreme.)

The comment from the wonderful Domme, Chris M, on my recent blog post about, eye to eye contact while increasing the pain, got me thinking.  Her activity involved eye to eye contact BEFORE the ‘fun’ but still worked because the ‘fun’ was so EXTREME.

That got me thinking about how, if one is planning something seriously extreme with one’s sub, it should be milked for al its worth. I plan to do so in three ways:

  • The eye to eye preamble eliciting heartfelt pleading,
  • doing the ‘thing’,  and
  • having a loud orgasm while the suffering is ongoing.

The activity that is about to happen has to be extreme enough that your sub will be beside himself with fear. If it is not that extreme, my strategy will fail. The example from Chris M is perfect – a thorough coating of Linnex to his birth defect. I have thought of two others I would use.

  • A second nettle whipping to his birth defect when he has only just received a long and terrible nettle thrashing to it. But the second will be exclusively to the head of the birth defect.
  • A continuation of a SERIOUS deterrent punishment when he has been pleading with all his heart for some time and I pause; and he thinks it is all over.

For any of these three things, there is pleasure in simply doing each one. But there is the extra pleasure of listening to that heartfelt, emotional, hopeless pleading for a while before doing the ‘thing’. And there is having an orgasm once the suffering has truly kicked in; just to show what a depraved bitch one is. And show how his extreme suffering is not an impediment in any way to one’s very relaxed pleasure.

So before beginning the application of the Linnex, or the second nettle whipping or the resumption of the thrashing, comes the eye to eye talking. Explaining in great DETAIL what one is about to do, confirming the agony that he will be feeling; then listening to that delicious pleading; and eye to eye contact is maintained throughout. When this phase has been milked for all its worth, then do the ‘thing’.

Thing done and the sub in proper agony, a leisurely session of masturbation which even if he can’t see, he can hear when the cries of ecstasy fill the room.

Two added steps to the terrible thing. Both providing clear evidence of the nature of the relationship.

When it is all over and the sub’s head hits the pillow that night, he will think back to those eye to eye moments and the rest, and he will sleep the contented sleep of a truly dominated sub who is under the TOTAL power of a very cruel bitch!

30 thoughts on “Maximise the extreme

  1. Ms Scarlett, if you are looking for more extreme punishments then I can’t recommend a large milk and molasses enema highly enough.

    I’m not sure if you have ever administered your sissy with enemas before but as a general punishment they are very effective. The milk and molasses enema takes things to another level though where cramping takes you to a new world of discomfort and desperation. Held in with a well inflated double balloon nozzle there is no way for it to escape until you decide the sissy has taken enough.

    Obviously, following your well considered three step approach you could then decide you were going to administer another enema and perhaps require that sissy has to hold it for a longer period this time!

    1. Interesting but I have two problems with it.

      The first time I could not do any of the things the post relates to as he would not know how bad its going to be. And, I don’t have enema equipment although I like the sound of a well inflated double balloon nozzle. Can I get one in the UK?

      1. I understand the first time would be an introduction but I can assure you it would be well worth it. I would recommend starting with a strong soap solution using something like a couple of good squirts of Dr Bronner’s peppermint Castile soap in 2 litres of water. You could tell your sissy that you’ve heard this will be pretty bad and to be prepared for it. The fact that he knows you aren’t quite sure how bad it is should be pretty scary for him anyway.

        Follow this up with the milk and molasses one telling him you’ve heard this is actually the worst enema that can be taken (it pretty much is!). That should hopefully have him really worried. Hopefully this will give a similarly desires mental effect in the first instance. Subsequent sessions will then have a reference point to refer to which will allow you to up the ante as desired.

        As for the double balloon nozzle I can recommend the ones from medtech3000 or you can find them on eBay. The best ones come from Germany and are made of latex not silicone. They ship to the UK no problem. I would get the version with two separate inflation bulbs.

        Enema kit isn’t the cheapest to begin with but I can assure you that once you’ve experienced your sissy’s reaction to being filled with all sorts of crampy solutions with no hope or expulsion until you allow it, you will see it as a very worthwhile investment.

        1. Thank you for the detailed and helpful answer.
          It is all very expensive! And there is a risk for me with that investment that you may be making the common mistake of thinking because something affects you greatly, it will affect others equally.

          For these reasons, although I will add it to my list of things I have not yet tried, it will not be at the top of the list.
          My new Journal, No. 14, happens to be full of things I had not previously tried before 2019, so I am open to new things for certain.

          1. All the best things seem to be expensive, don’t they!

            If I may be as bold as to offer a cast iron guarantee that a strong enema, and especially a milk and molasses one, will have the same impact on pretty much anyone the world over.

            The beauty of it is that you can then threaten different strengths of solutions, different sizes of enema (the bigger the volume the more uncomfortable) and different force retention times.

            Obviously I’m biased but I would definitely encourage you to try it at some point.

            1. Nettles are free, urine is free, spit is free, a 12 inch ruler is very cheap as is a couple of cat collars!

              You would be naïve rather than bold. My years at this have shown me that there are some things some people are profoundly affected by
              while others not affected at all.

              Do I sense a bit of the male trait of never accepting they might be wrong?

              1. Ms Scarlet, I don’t doubt your experience at all and I agree with what you say. But, by your own admission enemas are something that you haven’t tried yet and based on my experience you will be hard pushed to find a single person in this world who isn’t affected by a large milk and molasses enema. I’m simply offering a suggestion that I can guarantee your slave will dread after experiencing it once. The reason I feel it fits so well with this discussion is the scope for pushing it to the extreme with increased volumes and retention times. That is all. I am simply relaying my experience and providing a suggestion. Whether you chose to use it is neither here nor there but I’m not sure my comments warrant the label of ‘naïve’. I’ll shut up now.

                1. OH dear Mark, still expecting that, because something affects you greatly, I ‘will be hard pushed to find a single person in this world who isn’t.‘ That is the naïve bit. And not seeing the possibility you may be wrong; is the male bit.

                  1. I’m not sure why that qualifies as naïve when it is a subject I have a reasonable amount of experience with and have engaged with people globally who have the same or similar experiences. In fact medical doctrine also recognised the significant physical effects of enemas on people. But hey, what’s empirical evidence got to do with it when you can come at things from a skewed position of power and a subconscious reluctance to try anything new?

                    I really didn’t want to get into an argument about this, merely hoping to add to the arsenal of tools at your disposal, but by offhand dismissing others’ experience and knowledge where you have fully stated you have none of your own, that verges more towards the naïve than anything I have said.

                    I’m sorry if a male having an educated and objective opinion is offensive to you and that by countenancing it you might risk being excommunicated by the association of man haters, but in my view as a submissive male that is not how the world works.

                    1. You have engaged globally with people

                        who are into enema’s

                      . You still miss the fundamental point that there are NO ACTIVITIES in the BDSM world that cannot be found to deeply affect some people while having no affect at all on others. This will include the enema specification you suggest. How can you not accept this absolute fact? Such a closed mind.

                      Then there was you writing all good things are expensive and when I listed a few of the many that are not, you ignored that point rather than accepting your error.

                      Then the untruths.
                      You say I have a reluctance to try anything new. So untrue, why lie about this? My imminently to be published Journal 14 is almost exclusively on the new things I have tried in the first 6 months of 2019. Further, I did not say I would not try your specified enema I said I would add it to the list of things I wish to try. But I made the point that it is very expensive and so would not be top of the list as there were NO GUARANTEES it would affect bitch-boy, or me!

                      You only ‘didn’t want to get into an argument about this’, if I said you were right and I was wrong. Otherwise if you did not want to get into an argument, you would not have posted your last comment.

                      I am not dismissing any of your experience at all. I try to make sure women entering the world of FEMDOM, which is my aim with this blog, understand the whole thing. One of the bits is the fundamental issue I outlined above; that there are NO ACTIVITIES in the BDSM world that cannot be found to deeply affect some people while having no affect at all on others.

                      The only thing offensive to me is to suggest an activity is guaranteed to affect everyone deeply when this is not the case. I want embryonic Dommes to understand that is not the case. It may be your specified enema affects 90% of subs, but it is wrong to give the impression, this, or any activity is guaranteed to affect everyone deeply.

                      Just as it was wrong to write that all good BDSM things are expensive. Another thing I want embryonic Dommes to understand is not the case. I am not a man hater. I adore wise, submissive males in particular. I am surprised you consider yourself a submissive male – I wonder how much you top from the bottom?

          2. Mistress I understand and respect your need to make Bitchboy suffer for your gratification; any genuine female supremacist acknowledges this. However what Rubbermark is enthusiastically suggesting is obviously one of his (?) own personal favourites. But what’s being promoted is actually stupid and highly dangerous – the smallest degree of error by the Mistress could cause permanent distension and damage to the colon requiring surgical intervention. Also any break (which might be masked by post procedure discomfort) would automatically lead to e coli leaking into the surrounding cavity straight off and not be detected until it was causing symptoms of whole body sepsis and – this is not an exaggeration – an extremely painful death.

  2. Dear Ms. Scarlet, I am a submissive male married to a wonderful Dominant wife and keyholder. My question is about embrocation cream as you call it. My wife is Dutch and loves your blog and journals, the issue is you mentioned Extra Strength Deep Heating and also this Linnex stuff. As a good subby, I researched Linnex and bought some from the UK. My wife fully believes in the silent treatment punishment and liberally applies Deep Heating to both the penis and balls while binding my hands behind my back and leaves me 30 minutes to contemplate my asshole behavior, speaking of assholes, she will occasionally will run a finger up my ass coated with this cream. My question is this… The Linnex is at least 5X worst, I can handle the cock being creamed, but the balls too? This stuff is pure evil. Does Bitch Boy complain or has he commented on the difference? I have a photo of a recent coating if you would like to see how extreme she gets with the Deep Heating, I honestly think I would lose my mind with the Linnex. Any comments about the two products?

    daniel from Colorado

    1. In my experience, The Linnex takes about 3 minutes longer to start the burn, about 5 minutes in all, then it lasts for about 40 minutes while Deep Heat lasts only for about 15.

      Perhaps this blog post may help. The issue of escalation potential.

      1. Thank you Mistress for the response and follow on blog post. I am sincerely pleased to share in the knowledge that BitchBoy also dreads the Linnex roll on. Do You ever apply this to the testicles? Seems likely the focus is on his dicklet/clitty. It would go a long way if a seasoned Mistress had a rationale reason why Linnex shouldn’t be applied to the balls. I know this is a pathetic question, but if there is a reason, this subby hubby would appreciate the information to share with my Dominant wife.
        In gratitude- d

        1. I would never be so presumptuous and arrogant as to interfere with the activities of another Domme.

          To answer your question, I do not apply the Linnex to the scrotum. My reason is that I know just threatening to apply it to the shaft only has bitch-boy genuinely, desperately and pathetically pleading for me not to; and when I do apply it to the shaft only, it is an agony for him I need not increase as it is well past what he thinks he can endure.

          This does mean I have the escalation potential should I need it, and he knows I have it, to apply it to the scrotum as well, should he ever step out of line.

          1. Ms. Scarlet,

            Thank you again for your thoughtful reply. I shared your reply with my wife this morning and it has resulted in some very intense conversation about D/s and our FLR.

            No Ma’am, it appears that it was I who not you would was presumptuous in thinking that my Wife and Keyholder would need any advice about what she can or could do to my body, I was firmly reminded of this fact this morning by my Wife, Keyholder and Queen.

            My beautiful wife Ms. Freyja has tasked that I set up an account for her so she can direct me to post her comments. She has prepared one this morning while sitting at the pool while still contemplating my plea for mercy from Linnex being applied to not only my “twig but also the berries”. I have been informed my punishment is upcoming this afternoon and I am really dreading it by the tone of her voice and what she thinks is another attempt of me Topping from the bottom

            You will find her comment under your recent repost of comments and about Vanilla orgasms.


            (subby hubby suffering from the Irish curse of a small white cock, play toy, locked in 24/7 chastity and property of Ms. Freyja of Colorado)

            The above is to accompany any reply or comment as a reminder of my station in this relationship. sorry in advance for the redundancy.

              1. Ms. Scarlet, I attempted to post this under the Domme Comments- For your reference here it is again.

                Written by Mistress Freyja of Colorado

                In answer to your question about vanilla orgasms versus D/s orgasms I can testify the difference is enormous.

                Previously I preferred playing with myself although I also love cock, but having an orgasm during a vanilla encounter was hard for me due to social and religious conditioning. I had too much guilt, shame and hang-ups.

                Now almost all those hang-ups are gone. I get huge orgasms in my queening chair from having him eat my ass for however long I want it with zero guilt or worry about whether I am taking too long or his pleasure. My orgasms are frequent and range in intensity from a pleasant flutter to an earth shattering sensation that can last several minutes. I could never go back to vanilla. Finally, I can be myself and know that my pleasure is more than just a happy side effect to the all important male orgasm. In our relationship the traditional roles are reversed. His orgasm is the happy side effect and he had better be grateful and do a good job licking up his mess.

                I also enjoy devising little tortures for him that way- I freeze his mess in a shot glass and stick it in his beer while we are having a party with vanilla friends. I love using all my creativity and playfulness to devise new teases and torments for him

                I love coating his balls (which are small and tight) with embrocation cream. I always used Icy Hot extra strength Capsaicin brand name Capzasin-HP here is the USA. I thought how much worse can it be? Apparently a lot worse. He couldn’t take it. I had a real chuckle when I saw the carton of milk and his discarded underwear in the shower. So now I just do his cock…..for now.
                I am also turned on by cock trampling. I love CBT.

                I think a lot of women carry tremendous anger and frustration in their hearts and minds about how we are treated in this male world, as a means to an end, replaceable, consumable- turning that around is incredibly empowering.

                Happy as can be in a D/s relationship. Never going back to vanilla.

                Mistress Freya

                Posted by daniel (subby hubby suffering from the Irish curse of a small white cock, play toy, locked in 24/7 chastity and property of Ms. Freyja of Colorado)

                  1. “Please let me know of the punishment(s) you suffer for your presumptuousness”.

                    Dear Ms. Scarlet,

                    In follow up to your earlier inquiry, I have now endured my punishment for from Mistress Freyja for my “Topping from the bottom” and the more serious infraction of questioning Her Authority, Her Dominant ability and a general presumptuous attitude to write Ms. Scarlet in the first place for advice concerning the application of Linnex embrocation cream without my Mistress’ prior authorization.

                    However, before I provide the specific details of my punishment which had been intentionally delayed over the past week due to not only schedule and travel commitments, but Mistress Freyja felt that I required additional time to reflect and no doubt dread the pending punishment.

                    At this time, I would like to sincerely apologize in your public forum to my beautiful Wife, Keyholder and Dominant superior for questioning Her ability, Her Dominance over Her property, (me). I was foolish and indeed presumptuous in my thinking that Ms. Freyja would need any guidance in the regards to embrocation cream and that this was cowardly behavior on my part and certainly not respectful or a positive reflection in service to Her best interest as She has trained me. Further, Ms. Scarlet, I sincerely apologize to you as well and appreciate that you called me on his presumptuous action. Please forgive my intrusion and transgression, I now see the error in my thinking and judgement. However, as Ms. Freyja reminds me, “poor choices result in painful consequences” and it is “right and just” to be taken in hand from time to time.

                    The Punishment –
                    As is Her routine, She plans a time of Her choosing when and where the discipline will take place. This notice allows me to be properly clean my backside and be prepared to receive her strap on should she deem that appropriate. Further, I am to freshly shave my ass crack and trim my body hair with an electric razor. Ms. Freyja requires that I not only get my back and buttocks waxed but also a full Brazilian every four weeks. This is in contrast to Mistress who stopped waxing her precious temple once we entered into our full time FLR. She believes real women and men have hair, but firmly believes submissive, cuckold, small penis males are to be kept in enforced chastity and endure the humiliation of being hairless in deference to their Mistress. A hot shower then follows and I head naked to the designated location, usually her bedroom. At this time, I set out her standard set of discipline implements on a bath towel. This include a medium heavy wooden paddle with holes drilled in it, clothes brush, two rattan whippy canes of different thicknesses, humbler, mini clothes pins, her strap-on harness, latex gloves, lube, paper towels, a variety of cuffs, wrist and anklet and of course a selection of embrocation creams, consisting of Icy Hot Extra Strength, Ben Gay Odorless and Linnex Roll On.
                    Once the equipment is laid out, I am to retrieve my punishment panties kept in my top drawer night stand, these panties have a split crouch so my chastity device is on display at all times. I am then to stand in the corner and wait for my pending punishment. The wait time varies and I never know how long I may be in the corner, it is not unusual to wait 30 minutes of longer. For yesterday’s punishment, I was there over one hour and ten minutes and I dare not move or look around as I have been trained. The dread and anticipation of this wait is a real mixture of feelings, ranging from fear to sexual excitement that leave me swelling in my cage. I begin to realize how stupid I must look and begin to question my reality, especially having to endure the pain that will soon be inflicted. For this punishment, I sincerely recognize that I deserve everything she decides to provide and have steeled myself to “take it like a man” as she is fond to say during any squirming.
                    Finally, I heard the garage door go up and she drove in. Soon after, I could hear her walking around in the kitchen. After a few minutes, she shouted from the kitchen inquiring if I was ready, “Yes Ma’am” was all I could utter. Another 10 minutes pass and finally she walks into the bedroom and simply says “Very Good”, I was fully expecting a lecture of some type but we honestly both knew why I was being punished. “Assume the position” was the next order in which I am to present my ass hands flat on the end of the bed, and feet firmly planted. I am not to move either my hands or feet and to not make any whining or complaining sounds. The punishment commenced at 6:10pm and she intentionally leaves the French patio doors open to further my humiliation and angst. While spanking really isn’t done in the home anymore, it certainly was common when I was growing up. It was not uncommon to hear a kid get a paddling now and then, the undeniable loud smack of a wooden paddle on bare buttocks is what greets my neighborhood right around dinner time. When the doors are open and it is summer time as it is now, I am especially careful not to utter a sound to at least keep my dignity and questions from the neighbors about the sound. My wife doesn’t care as she has informed me she will gladly tell anyone who asked about the sounds that I am getting spanked.

                    Mistress lowers my punishment panties to my knees and then proceeds to give me 52 very hard paddle strokes across my bare bottom, I count the swats in my head as it helps with me taking it. Just then her phone rings and she tells me to stay in position as she has to take this call. My ass is absolutely on fire from that wooden paddle and there is still more to come. After about ten minutes pass and she returns and lays on another 30 very hard paddle swats and then asked me “If She is Doing it Right?” I didn’t answer her but meekly said I was sorry and had learned my lesson. “We shall see” was all she said. She then came around in front of me and grabbed my cage hard and twisted it. “It is time for this to come off” She retrieved the key from her personal safe and unlocked me and removed the PA piercing bar holding it into place. It is always a tremendous relief when she removes the cage but this time was different. I knew I was in for some serious CBT just to prove her point. Next I was instructed to install the humbler around my ball sack and penis, I have such a small package it can all be shoved between the two halves of the tumbler, this also makes any erection very visible as the cock and balls are in the same plane. Next she placed cuffs on both wrist and anklets and had me mount a large wedge she uses to watch TV the cuffs to my wrists were secured together and she connected my anklet cuffs to an extension bar which forces my legs apart leaving my dicklet and balls on display below the humbler. I knew it was coming but I really started to panic when I saw her glove up and reach directly for the Linnex roll on. “Oh Geeze danny, I hope I am doing this right?” she chided. Next she began to coat my entire ass crack, balls and penis especially at the tip with the Linnex, and applied and reapplied so every square millimeter was coated and she tugged and pulled my cock during the process with her gloved hand… then she left without saying another word.
                    I cannot convey strongly enough the absolute terror and panic I felt as the cream started to burn, the sensation is so intense that I started to hyperventilate and sweat, I soon found myself feeling immensely sorry for myself, then angry followed by hopelessness all at the same time. After about 20 minutes I finally realized she meant business this time. Usually she will set a timer for ten minutes and check on me making playful comments, but that is with Icy Hot, not Linnex covering my ass crack and cock and balls. I recall sweating so much that the Linnex actually migrated down on my rectum which just further prolonged the suffering, and it is really suffering to be bound and made to endure this. After 45 minutes she returned and asked me “If she was doing it right, am I OK, do I need a hug” in her most condensing tone, I said only I am sorry and thank her for the correction as I have been trained. Again, another “Well See” and she removed the spreader bar and clipped my anklets together. What followed was as vicious as a caning as she had ever delivered. She used her thin whippy cane on the back of my thighs, 30 stripes on right side, she then walks over and delivers 30 more on the left side, all from my ass crease to about 6 inches about my knees, I could feel the welts and the searing pain, what I didn’t realize at the time she had caned me bloody like she had threatened in the past. I was bawling and begging and pleading for her to stop, all to no avail. Again she walks out leaving me alone to feel and process the punishment, I honestly didn’t think I could take anymore. However, she proved that not only could, I but I would and didn’t have a say in the matter. She had been wearing tight jeans and wedges, I saw her kickoff the wedges in the corner of my eye and then her step into her strap-on harness with her favorite 8 inch thick latte colored dildo. She releases the anklet cuffs and then gloved up. But instead of her regular lube, she coats the dildo with Ben Gay and begins to run first one finger then two in and out of my asshole. She gets on top of me and roughly inserts she cock in my ass, the burning is not anything like the Linnex, but she was driving home the fact that “She is still in charge, I am her bitch and I will fucking do as told” about five minutes of this fucking she pulled out, unbound my wrists and told me to clean up this mess and get showered as I was taking her out to dinner.

                    I know I have gone on too long, but that is how it went down and again I am very sorry to have displayed such poor judgement and lack of trust in and authority in my Wife. I sincerely love our life together and respect her even more for not letting me get away with this poor behavior.

                    1. Ms. Scarlet,
                      Thank you again for your reply. Unfortunately Mistress Freyja and I don’t reside in the UK. We live in the mountains of Colorado. Ms. Freyja is Dutch and we do travel to the Netherlands or vacation in Europe a couple times each year. Should you wish to contact Ms. Freyja privately, I could forward her personal email and phone number if you would like?.

                      It is funny you mention the UK, we met a FLR Femdom couple down in Cancun MX this winter, She is a lifestyle Domme very attractive late 40’s, Similar age to Ms. Freyja. Interestingly, she mentioned formal training at a Dom School in London, do you know of this school? Unfortunately we were leaving and didn’t get to know them very well. However, I have been in contact with Her slave husband throughout the year, he is also older like me, late 50’s and in 24/7 enforced chastity as well. Next week we are meeting up in Cancun again! I have been instructed to bring the portable Queening chair and various implements, including the Jennings mouth retractor. I shutter to think what I may have to endure. Enjoying Mistress precious nectar is a real treat. Don’t want to ever be presumptuous, but I have to admit to having a nasty fantasy of drinking the other Mistress’ piss. I am certain I will still be wearing those cane marks on the back of my thighs for at least another week, makes wearing a swimsuit around vanillas impossible.



  3. I “love” the concept of the Mistress having very obvious pleasure after the torment has been applied and is still being suffered through. I have fond memories of listening to her orgasm while my “defect” was covered with clothes pins.

  4. I like the new format of your blog. Is the Q&A material from your born again virgin gone? his miserable point of view always inspires me to try harder.

    1. I did remove that for two reasons. 1. As it had been so long since he had been asked a question and, 2. I was always unsure he should be allowed to make any comments on the blog at all.

      If you have a question for him, post it as a comment and I will consider allowing him to answer.

      1. You taking away his privileges always makes me smile. On the other hand, it’s rare that femdom relationships are credibly described from the female point of view, so it is rare that we get to see both the female and the male POV. Usually, we just see men describing what their wives supposedly want.

        Are there things he has experienced or places you have taken him to that he never thought he would go? Is things he has endured that 1 or 5 or 10 years ago, he never would have imagined?

  5. I have had women train me eye to eye, by getting me to confess my deepest sissy thoughts, experiences , fantasies, wishes, feelings, sissy dreams I’ve actually had, how I see women and lesbians as far superior to me often as I’m being forced to edge myself or to ruin my creamie., or kneeling spread legged, panties off, bra or babydoll on.

    Things I thought I’d never reveal, flowed out of me like a raging river. This further enhanced her sense of power and her right as a Female to be dominant, and embrace her superiority, while helping her further deepen my sissyhood and subservience to her and all women.

    My college gf was great at edging me and getting me to confess all my deepest thoughts to her, my love of panites, how I should be wearing a bra, dress, stockings, garter belt, a feminized body and existence, and how I ache to serve woman-kind, her friends.

    I have come to think this is a quality deeply engrained in all women, as most women I’ve known easily once comfortable with my status blossom in their own dominance.

    So yes, eye to eye training yields great results ti benefit all woman-kind, as it should be.

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