Mistress Christine’s chastity spreadsheet

I have had bitch-boy look, quick and dirty, into the construction of an Excel spreadsheet like Mistress Christine M’s, as a number of commenters have requested more technical info if possible.  bitch-boy’s version works, but leaves visible the previous selection before selecting the new one. If anyone can solve this please leave a comment. The following instructions are for a spreadsheet with 100 options, from which a single option is randomly chosen each time the, Function 9, key is pressed.

In use, I would give bitch-boy the option of one press of the Function 9 key per week, subject to the result of the previous week.


In cells A2 to A101 put each of your 100 options. I put:

  • 3, ‘spreadsheet use banned FOR TWO MONTHS’,
  • 10, ‘LINNEX, but no relief’
  • 7, ‘relief under Mistress’s shoe sole’
  • 80, ‘NO RELIEF!’.

You can put whatever you want. These do not have to be in random order as the spreadsheet will pick randomly from the 100 options. It is best to have the cruellest options at the top area so the sub sees the worst things. (You can use the copy/drag function with the bottom right corner of a highlighted cell to instantly repeat an option unlimited times.)

In each of cells B2 to B101 put this,          =RAND()                 Once you have done that, the width of column B can be reduced until the contents do not show.

In cell E2, using say, font 36 or larger,  with centre justified text, put this,

=INDEX($A$2:$A$101, RANK(B2,$B$2:$B$101), 1)

Now, each time the function 9 key is pressed, a randomly selected option from column A will appear in cell E2.

Enjoy, and if possible, leave a comment to improve it.

Obviously cruel amendments are so easy to do. For instance, one week, with ten seconds of effort, I can swap out all the cells of , ‘NO RELIEF’ with cells of ‘LINNEX, but no relief’, but swap in one cell of ‘ecstatic relief with Mistress’s hands’ in place of a cell of, ‘relief under Mistress’s shoe sole’. But he may even choose not to press the,  Function 9 key, at all that week, as his probabilities would be,

  • 1 in 100, for ‘ecstatic relief with Mistress’s hands’
  • 3 in 100, for ‘spreadsheet use banned FOR TWO MONTHS’
  • 6 in 100, for ‘relief under Mistress’s shoe sole’
  • 9 in 10, (90 in 100),  for, ‘LINNEX, but no relief’

Choices, choices!

23 thoughts on “Mistress Christine’s chastity spreadsheet

  1. My dear Mistress Scarlet

    I have greatly enjoyed your and Christine’s clever posts. Modern technology can be such a boon, even helping to keep our little submissives all locked up, frustrated and tense, just as they should be. I am sure it will not surprise you that I particularly like the element of hope that your system allows bb, even if it is matched with a much higher probability of pain and regret. The pleasure of seeing a submissive’s hopes dashed – like the slower but equally satisfying project of crushing his spirit – is a joy and a privilege. I’ll confess, though, that I have never really considered automating skivvy’s chastity regime, if only because it is such a simple and infrequent matter nowadays as to be hardly worth the bother.

    I did, however, recently have an idea for using software to help ease the burdens of my own life, and add to those of skivvy’s. It concerns the marking of written impositions: lines, essays, copying-out and suchlike. I adore this activity! Although skivvy is under my thumb in so many other ways, there is something especially delicious about a notionally adult male in school uniform sitting at a desk and writing as neatly as his aching hand allows, on a topic not chosen by him and likely of no interest to anyone. Hour after hour, page after page after page… It is the delectable pointlessness of it that I find so appealing. However, the downside is that the work must be accurate, as without pains being taken over accuracy, the task is much less unpleasant and therefore all the less pleasurable for me.

    Marking written impositions can be a chore, and only one person does chores in my household! I have tried random checking: tear up his lines or essay unread nine times out of ten or so, but check occasionally and punish ferociously if that random sample has errors. That can save some time, but it does provide scope for naughtiness and rebellion in even a limp, sagging dishrag such as skivvy. He can take a chance, make a choice to risk the punishment over forcing his aching hand into conformity with my wishes. That is not a choice he should have.

    I suppose your use of colouring-in books elegantly side-steps the problem. The hours bb spends carefully ensuring that his coloured crayons do not stray over lines they should not cross can be assessed by you with a mere glance. But I have such a fondness for the stiff agony induced in skivvy’s hands by the little repetitive movements required for hours of handwriting, my dear – a colouring-in book (or even a dismaying stack of colouring-in books) is not what I am seeking.
    So many things in our lives have been automated for our convenience, Mistress Scarlet. Even those of us with a human alternative to labour-saving household devices surely appreciate some of the conveniences of the modern age! Why can the simple task of finding errors in one’s underlings’ written work not be automated too?

    Let me be clear: I am not speaking here of computerised tedium software such as ‘Fond of Writing’ and the ilk, in which the submissive writes lines on the computer itself. I admire the ingenuity behind such programmes and the public-spirited decison to make them available for free, but for me there is something unsatisfactory about setting skivvy to picking at computer keys for the afternoon, no matter how dull, repetitive or frustrating the task. No: I want him sitting on a hard wooden chair, at a traditional school desk, wearing his traditional gym slip, laboriously writing in the neatest handwriting his poor aching hand can manage, for hours upon hours upon hours. I want to see hundreds of repeated lines, thousands of compelled words… but I do not want to check them all.

    Well, one day I had an idea that I thought was rather clever (I do not go in for false modesty, my dear! One gets out of the habit in a lifestyle like ours, don’t you agree?). I would make skivvy copy out numbers. I got him to create a little spreadsheet that would generate a column of random numbers whenever I want. The user – me – sets the length of the numbers and how many of them there are. So, for example, I might specify two hundred numbers, each of five digits, and thus create a column with 200 entries, beginning, 97752, 62302, 18984 or whatever, and so on. I then point the mouse to ‘print’, click with an elegant finger and we have a few pages of paper with a series of numbers. Like code-breakers! But without the sense of purpose, or fun.

    Skivvy must copy them out from the printout. In long-hand, with a pen. What a gloriously pointless activity: to copy out, by hand, something printed on a computer in seconds (especially when that something is just random numbers). When he has finished, I take the printed sheets away and then comes the clever bit. Skivvy adds up the numbers on his handwritten copy. The computer, of course, also added up all the numbers when it first produced the column – although it did it rather faster. And it did not print that total, although I myself made a note of it.
    You see, my dear? If his total does not match my total (the computer’s total) then he made an error. Somewhere. Perhaps he copied one of the numbers down incorrectly, or perhaps he added up wrong. It doesn’t really matter, does it? If the totals do not match, he made an error. He will receive a physical punishment – and probably be set the task to do all over again. Until he gets it right. It takes him hours… it takes me less than a second to judge the results of those tortuous labours. Bliss!

    The only flaw in the system is that, as I’ve mentioned before, my skivvy is quite mathematically inclined. This is why he is able to earn remarkable amounts of money for me, without any visible social skills or common sense. Where some submissives might hate and dread the arithmetic exercise at the end of the copying, skivvy rather enjoys it, the nerdy little brat! I once caught him gently humming to himself as he neatly calculated and recorded the running total. Of course, even a mathematical slave can get no pleasure from the main task of copying lists of random numbers, but it irks me that he had such a creative task at the end, something to look forward to while doing so. I do so hate to see him unmiserable. But nor do I wish to check each number in turn.

    So I have had another idea. It is a little more complicated, but I cannot see how any stage of the process could provide him with any enjoyment whatsoever, so it seems worth trying. I will find a piece of writing on the Internet. It could be a tedious passage from an academic study, it could be an inspiring work of radical feminism or even a still more inspiring piece on female supremacy, such as one from your own lovely blog, my dear. Although he might find the latter too interesting. Anyway, I will find a suitable text a few thousand words long and I will print it out. Skivvy will sit at his desk and copy from the printout, so creating a handwritten perfect copy of whatever I had given him. So far, so good. We have probably taken a few hours to reach this point, and someone’s hand has some lovely aches and pains, so everything is going well. Now, I take the printout and rip it up. Gone!

    Now only skivvy’s handwritten copy remains. How do we check whether he made any errors? Simple: he now types from his handwritten copy, into the computer. Back into the computer, since that is where it came from in the first place. Of course, he has no access to the original document when doing this (or to anything else: skivvy is forbidden games and his Internet use is restricted to a handful of sites that I have specifically approved, mostly relating to housework). Typing it all back in should take him a little less time than all the handwriting. When he has finished, we will have an electronic copy of the original text. Which itself was electronic, so the two can be compared in a few seconds. Any discrepancies imply errors – and some very bad news indeed, for the lazy, careless skivvy responsible for those errors.

    I have not yet worked out the details. Obviously, when skivvy types up his handwritten copy, there must be no spell-checker or it must be disabled. The text editor ‘Wordpad’ that comes with Windows might be ideal, as it is very basic and simple. I then need to compare the copy (of the copy) to the original in detail – I want more than just a word count. Microsoft Word has ‘document compare’ but then both documents need to be in Word. My original is probably either pdf or html, so it would need to be imported. Also, even if it flags discrepancies, spelling errors and so on, that does not quite get me there as I want those errors counted. So maybe there needs to be a bit of work to automate the whole process – but I am sure skivvy can write a script for that, given suitable instructions and encouragement. He’s a clever little skivvy at that sort of thing (and, annoyingly enough, enjoys that activity too, but I suppose it is only the once, after which a lifetime of tedious copying awaits, under the merciless scrutiny of the automatic checker, so I suppose I can permit it…). I want a script that simply allows me to pick any piece of writing, print it, then compare it to the version skivvy types back in from his handwritten draft, hours or days later. All with a few clicks of the mouse. And what I want, I tend to get.

    One advantage of this system is that it permits the imposition of written tasks that one could not imagine ever marking – such as documents in foreign languages (I think Polish might be fun), or ones with non-standard spelling and grammar (passages from Trainspotting, for instance). Perhaps I could get him to write his handwritten version backward… or with a very thick wax crayon on hundreds and hundreds of sheets of paper (recycled, of course).

    Oh, it will be such fun!

    Yours in sincere sisterhood

    Lady Jessica

    1. A wonderful comment and wonderful ingenuity! I greatly look forward to what you end up deciding on.
      Given he is in school girl uniform, you could have him copy out something online like many pages of a Mallory Towers book. At this link in various electronic formats: https://www.fadedpage.com/showbook.php?pid=20190330

      (At dolly’s bedtime, I sometimes have bitch-boy read to his dolly from a hardcopy Mallory Towers book, if it is a, much hated by him, ‘looking after dolly’ day. Poor puppet. He must do so, under the gaze of the video baby monitor, asking in a lisp at the end of each page if dolly liked that page and does she want another page, of course she always does. I sit downstairs watching TV, occasionally glancing at the baby monitor receiver screen, until I decide its time for dolly to go to sleep. This can be after over an hour or two of being read to. If he gets to the end of the book, he simply has to start again from the beginning.) But I can see the flaw in my suggestion as, while typing in his hand written work, he could correct spelling errors he notices.

      That online Mallory Towers versions would allow you to have an electronic version for checking his hand written one.

      1. My dear Mistress Scarlet, how very rude of me not to have responded before.

        You know, I read Mallory Towers as a young girl. I had quite a traditional childhood – by which that I do not mean that I was subjected to corporal punishment (in fact, I have never experienced a blow from a cane or tawse in my life – it looks and sounds quite horrible, I have always thought, so I have no desire to try). I just mean I read some very old-fashioned British children’s books.

        Do I recall correctly that in the very first Mallory Towers, the villainous Gwendoline receives a slap on the legs so hard that the individual fingers of her virtuous assailant can be made out from the marks on her skin? That made quite an impression on my mind at the time, for some reason more than any equivalent ‘thrashing’ in the male-oriented school stories I read.

        There was a ‘land of spanks’ in Enid Blighton’s Magical Far-away Tree series, too…

        None of this, by the way, is worth the male readers of this blog scurrying off and trying to find these things for sexual entertainment. Miss Blighton was not writing ‘disciplinary fiction’, merely reflecting children’s lives at the time.

        I do remember finding Mallory Towers rather inspiring, though: girls relating to one another without any interest in, or presence of, boys. I suppose this culture is what the more recent ‘Aristasia’ is intended to recall. I find it all pleasant enough, but not compellingly interesting – unlike your delightful blog and its comments, my dear.

        Yours in sincere sisterhood

        Lady Jessica

        1. While bb sometimes, in the gaze of the video baby monitor, has to read to his dolly from his only Mallory Towers book at dolly’s bedtime, I must confess that I have never read a Mallory Towers book through. If he reads his copy through, he has to simply go back to the beginning and start it all over again. And keep reading until I decide, from my position downstairs on the sofa watching TV, (with the baby monitor screen at my side) that dolly is ready to sleep.

          As I wrote in my journal about this activity, at the end of every page he has to ask dolly if she liked that page and would like another, and then he answers as dolly, always, that yes she wants another page. Poor puppet!

    2. Dear Lady Jessica

      An amazing system! I’ve recently discovered this blog and it’s wonderful not only to read about Mistress Scarlet and her circle of friends but also how you chat and discuss evil ideas in the comments.

      As a submissive male maid (curtsey) I am of course all in favour of labour-saving ideas, at least for dominant Ladies. However, I did wonder whether instead of automation you had considered submissive labour for the task of tedious marking? Subs can mark one another’s work: with a penalty of course for the one who finds the fewest mistakes.

      I myself would be very willing to join skivvy at his (her?) writing desk, Lady Jessica. The two of us would sit there, in matching uniforms, scribbling away until instructed to stop, when scripts would be exchanged, he pencils swaped for red ballpoints and mistakes identified. There might be a few tears and tantrums if we disagree with each others’ assessment, but I expect you could keep us in line.

      My very deepest respects to you (curtsey)


      1. I’m afraid you are unlikely to find your offer attractive to a Domme. Certainly from my perspective, I can get all the cruel pleasure I wish from one male submissive being the subject of my entire malevolent focus, without the hassle of having to manage a second sub male. And the fact that he is all alone, with no peer with whom to seek an alliance is part of the subjugation. However, all we Dommes are different so you never know. So good luck.

        If you were actually a female sub, my answer would be very different. I would welcome your attendance but bitch-boy would find himself in a far corner of my home in sensory deprivation bondage for probably six hours. And you would find yourself the subject of my entire malevolent focus, with no peer with whom to seek an alliance.

  2. Thank you for sharing.
    I made it but it did not accept the function in E2 cell =INDEX($A$2:$A$101, RANK(B2,$B$2:$B$101), 1)
    It says it is wrong so when I push the number 9 nothing happen

          1. To many, it is referred to as the F9 key which is found at the top row of most keyboards.
            F9 calculates the workbook. By default, any time you change a value, Excel automatically calculates the workbook. In this case, nothing has changed but we’re telling Excel to run the random formula again.

  3. Scarlet
    For the reset button in my spreadsheet, I simply wrote a macro to change the colour of the font to the same colour as the background. In the macro to randomly select an option, I wrote the end of the code to change the font colour to dark blue. Perhaps this might help BB make this happen?

        1. Here is the macro code:

          Sub Apply()

          ‘ Apply Macro

          ActiveCell.FormulaR1C1 = “=INDEX(R1C2:R100C2,RANK(R[-16]C[-6],R1C3:R100C3))”
          End Sub

          Sub Reset()

          ‘ Reset Macro

          End Sub

  4. Since Chastity is the subject and it seems many believe that it is integral to this lifestyle, can you provide some insight into the real life logistics of this activity?

    Specifically: Are there safety or other implications leaving someone in it while your away or them being potentially exposed in RL or at work? Home and family? Are there any recommendations or advice for inevitable complications that arise?

  5. We’ve experimented with it, but i’m always left with a key in case of emergency and i’m always let out for sex. Or she forgets about it completely.

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