Submission immediately following orgasm

When the domination is 100% real and 100% powerful, and the situation is reached where the male knows he would never, ever want to depart his Mistress, so there are no thoughts of escape, then activities can be introduced purposefully in the seconds / minutes after ejaculation. For example, words to the effect of:

You are going to clean all the toilets now to an immaculate standard, and I know you have temporarily lost your submissiveness and ‘the thrill’, but I have TOTAL POWER over you and TOTAL CONTROL and I want you suffering tedium and degradation while you are in your current ‘vanilla’ , non-submissive headspace, so you REALLY KNOW AND ACCEPT this is NO GAME! Now get to it bitch!

On a similar vein I once read of a Domme who would give her sub a monthly maintenance, (or deterrent) caning. A severe punishment session, even though he had not erred, so he was properly frightened to disobey her in any way in any circumstances. She would give him a quick and un-erotic orgasm moments before the punishment began so, having lost his submissiveness, he truly understood punishments were not an erotic game.

It seems this acknowledgement by the Domme of  his temporary loss of submissiveness but still continuing with a severe caning, ironically brought the sub quickly to a very deep submissive headspace as the REALITY HIT HOME. The reality that his wife truly was uncompromising, ruthless and all powerful and her domination was 100% serious and in no way a game. But this relatively  quickly made him feel submissive anyway, and seriously in awe of his  Domme too.

I too have experienced times where bitch-boy has had one of his rare orgasms and then I have carried on with some humiliation or degradation. I see the reflex, disgruntled glint in his eyes that he is not feeling submissive, but then in his eyes, within moments, I can almost see his brain going through a thought pattern. He knows I know he is momentarily not feeling submissive, he recognises that I DO NOT CARE! I have my own hedonistic agenda and he remains my toy despite temporarily not feeling submissive.  Relatively quickly a submissive look appears in his eyes as he acknowledges his Mistress-wife owns him and does what she wants with him, and it is not a game played for him. It is his life!

Finally I will mention Madam Press, formerly Governess X, formerly Lady Governa of The District Reformatory . She has a clips4sale site. (I thought I had posted about her before but can’t find any such post?????)

In my early years of dominance, Madam Press, or Governess X as she was then, was a HUGE influence. I wanted the sissyfication/ age regression / parody of a little girl regime to FULLY subjugate bitch-boy with overwhelming humiliation and relentless control. BUT mostly on the web, sissyfication/ age regression / parody of a little girl, was linked to nurturing women pandering to the fantasies of males.

But Governess X was different! Oh yes! A great deal of dickie-discipline with nettles, ruler, thistles and Tens unit electricity. Extremes of humiliation, harsh canings, urine in baby bottles to be drunk, tedium sissy bondage. This Governess’s charges would genuinely plead and plead through their gags quite often. It is fair to say, a significant proportion of my regime style is a copy of hers.

So why do I mention her in this post? Well, although some of her charges are in chastity, most often they are not, although the are usually in bondage or mittens so can’t touch themselves. And she will often give those not in chastity a quick, no fuss milking by hand so she has their ‘cream’ to be used for smearing over their pacifier teat or be added to nectar in a baby bottle, or be part of the ‘infant’s’ meal. There is no doubt she is aware of how these charges must lose their submissiveness having just ejaculated, but she does not let up one bit!



For info on my own BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.

18 thoughts on “Submission immediately following orgasm

  1. good morning, wow what a post!
    It got this slave to wondering, Ms Scarlet if you have ever applied stinging nettles to BB, in this post orgasm, loss of submissiveness period?
    (and also, any sign of usable new season nettles yet in 2020?)
    the greatest respect as ever

  2. Madam Press has been a huge influence to me also over the last decade. She really digs into the male psyche and it is often her words, written or eloquently spoken, that cause the deepest feelings of submissiveness and inadequacy in her followers. Of course she also has a raucous and spontaneous laugh which often accompanies a red-faced sub squirting a tribute into his potty or blowing a premature load out into a pair of ‘mummy’s’ panties. Few things could be more uncomfortable and demeaning than the ultimate male release being greeted with such hilarity and derision.

  3. This topic interests me greatly. A year or so ago I’d just embarked on my Fem-dom journey with my husband. It was still, to all intents and purposes, me indulging his kinks and adapting our marriage to his spec. Now, it is much nearer to my own spec and my kinks, albeit mostly in areas that overlap with his. I wouldn’t describe my domination as 100pc real or powerful yet but it’s obviously much closer to that today than when we started.

    His chastity is a key component of our marriage now. I relish it and enjoy intellectually exploring its effect on him. It started as his kink, or his fantasy, and he’s found the reality a considerable challenge, as his chaste periods get longer and longer. I find imposing extreme chastity suffering on him much easier than inflicting other types of extreme punishment. I don’t pretend to fully understand why this is, although I’ve thought about it a lot. I think it’s partly because I’ve convinced myself he isn’t really suffering by living with so few orgasms now. He just needs to better control his appetites (as he used to lecture me to control mine in regards to food, etc.).

    But the main downside (for me) of being increasingly strict about chastity, especially the past few months, has been having so few opportunities to experiment with his orgasms. I genuinely enjoy the novelty of ruining orgasms in different ways and would like to do it more. And I don’t have much chance to explore his submissive mindset immediately following orgasm. We do still occasionally have intercourse but I prefer to use penetration as an edging game rather than giving him permission to orgasm inside me. I would like to teach him to eat ‘cream pie’ but that would require me to compromise about my ‘no-cum rule’.
    So, at the moment for me, I’m caught between conflicting priorities. For the moment his chastity, and specifically orgasm denial, is my main concern. But I am very drawn to the idea of testing his submission to me just after he’s had different kinds of orgasm. I want to believe it’s not only driven by eroticism and full balls, but also by a more fundamental wish now to submit to me forever.

    Scarlet’s post makes the point that this domination “was 100% serious and in no way a game”. This is the crucial point for both pipsqueak and I to fully understand and commit to. For us it started as ‘a game’. No doubt. We both in our own ways increasingly wanted that to change but each of us has to ensure that the idea of a game is history. Otherwise it won’t work for either of us. I don’t like the word ‘ruthless’ but I’m no longer tempted to be overly lenient.

    I loved the description of bitch-boy’s eyes processing his reflex petulance followed almost instantly by his recognition that his Mistress doesn’t care. I’m not quite at that stage but I experience it more and more. It occurs now that he’s gone back to work doing a tedious job daily and yet when he comes home I expect him to get straight to work preparing supper. It happens most of all though after a sex session in bed. He gives me whatever pleasure I require, for 10 minutes, an hour, or longer, sometimes just a massage or pedicure, usually a couple of uninhibited orgasms, and then we’re done. I never thank or even acknowledge him. It’s sleep time. And I see that similar split second of frustration and crankiness in his tired eyes, immediately followed by complete recognition that my decision’s final. In fact, it’s not a decision in that it involves no thought.

    1. Wonderful post. I too would love to know if there is a solution to conflict of complete denial for long periods, while at the same time experimenting with ejaculations. I think possibly there is simply no solution and sadly one has to ‘pay your money and take your choice’. But I have learned there is a wealth of knowledge out there in Femdom land. So I never say never!

    2. You can make a list of experiments you want to do and then do them in a week (or less). When is he is cumming once or twice a day everyday, his orgasms will be less intense and euphoric and you will get your data. The week will be like one big release. After that start the chastity regime.

  4. I always love reading this amazing Fem-Domme blog. Stunning blog, from a fascinating Domina.

    If i could just add, the inspiring Madam Press, formerly Governess X, formerly Lady Governa, has opened a new youtube channel just a few weeks ago. Editress X is her new name.

      1. Agreed, Mistress Scarlet. I first saw her online, from way back, Governess X/Lady Governa era. It was always her style/approach….and ideas. So unique and real (compared to the general world of online bdsm dominas).

        1. Yes! Often inducing proper, serious pleading from clients, and that voice. Ruthlessly firm yet totally innocent. 100% dominant and pitiless with a very cruel edge, but the innocent voice never waivered. I will publish a blog post of my detailed memories of some of the videos I remember from that era.

          1. A vanilla break…

            I find this a really interesting subject but there seem to be a lot of similar stories. I’ll try not to witter on too long! But I thought our story of how we went deep into D/S before going into a vanilla break, then back again worked out.

            So we started the slave lifestyle at the end of last year. It was just a silly game to start with really although a long held fantasy of mine. My wife was more than happy to oblige for the idea of getting a break from the chores for a bit. As it turned out, my wife was quite the natural. She enjoyed keeping me in longer and longer term chastity, and enjoyed my frustrations. We went from an even, balanced household in terms of chores to me doing 100%. My wife LOVED rubbing this in. Saying things like “I’m off upstairs to nap and pleasure myself, by the time I’m woken up I expect the washing, dishes, kitchen and bathroom to all be thoroughly cleaned.” Then she’d make me strip and send her several videos of me cleaning to prove I’d done the work.

            Some things happened really quickly. She enjoys the cruelty of not using chastity devices, knowing that I could touch myself if I want to, but my devotion to her meant that I didn’t. I once slipped from this and felt I had to admit to her I had given myself relief in the shower. Needless to say the punishment was the longest I’ve ever gone without relief. She also discovered ruined orgasms having never heard of them before and just discovered it once as I lost control during tease and denial. She thought it was hilarious, and loves to use ruined orgasm as a way to “milk” me as she calls it whilst leaving me scratchy and sexually frustrated.

            She developed other tactics too. She started making all gifts on special occasions (birthday, Christmas, valentines etc) about her. I have now been trained in Swedish massage (my present was a groupon one day massage course, you can get them really cheap!) Spending a day in a salon with a lot of young girls on beauty courses was a good bit of humiliation in itself! This was my “gift” as it meant I’d get to touch her more often during our multiple times a week 1.5 hour swedish massages. If I get erect during the massage at any time (which I always do) I am told during the massage I will be punished. I then have to dutifully finish the massage knowing some cock smacks are sure to follow before I have to wait next door as she pleasures herself before going straight to sleep with no physical contact.

            Accepting I don’t get to give advice as a sub, I’d respectfully recommend the “gift” system to any domme as it is strangely humiliating and emasculating. I’ve also had a proper portable massage table, massage oils and a spa day for her as my “gifts.” For valentines I have been booked on a blow drying and hair styling course, my wife hates doing her hair and again as a man more in the middle of my years I will be spending a day in a salon with a group of mainly younger girls on beauty courses learning how to style hair! I will have to rise early on my days off to wash and style her hair for her work meaning I never now get a lie in.

            However, around a month ago, my wife allowed me relief a few days running due to my good behaviour. The interesting outcome was that I just didn’t feel submissive any more. Being new to this, my wife realising how hard I’d been working decided upon a break. It was great for the first few days, balanced chores, lie ins and relief whenever I wanted. However, I quickly started finding myself stressed and irritable. We continued with the vanilla break for a few weeks, but my wife noticed that I seemed generally more bad tempered.

            As a result, she formally inducted me back into slave. I was informed “as of right now you are skivvy again.” I’m immediately back to all chores. I was also informed to get going again I’d need to prove my worth with at least 14 days of chastity. My wife noticed my slave game was a bit off, she expects me to be pro-active and hates having to give orders. She calls this the “premium service.” She knows I like to wait for things to slip so she has to order me to do tasks, I love being told off by her. However, her fundamental rule is that I get NO pleasure, from anything, at all, EVER. This is to 100% focus my mind on her. So if I get pleasure from waiting to let stuff slip and then being told off, she now doesn’t tell me off any more. Infractions are immediately punished with chastity extensions and I am calmly told what to do. These punishments are to get me back up to the practiced “premium” standard expected where I do not get any submissive pleasures at all and I am completely self managing where she never has to give an order. I must admit I felt strangely rusty and genuinely didn’t like my harsh punishments.

            So rather than vanilla breaks, my wife has realised keeping me scratchy and frustrated through denial, and ruined orgasm is the way to keep us both fulfilled. She has also realised how fundamental being submissive is to my personality. I suspect I’ll never get a vanilla break again!

            So sorry if I’ve gone on too long, but I think the concept of post-orgasm control to maintain focus is crucial. Unfortunately it seems this has taken me down the route of every orgasm being ruined to keep the frustration high. My wife has realised me being frustrated makes me ever more determined to serve her, and keeps me 100% devoted. A ruined orgasm seems to make things even more acute and keeps me feeling absolutely submissive post orgasm. We haven’t had sex since this started and I suspect I may never do again

              1. Thank you mistress. It is effective!

                I came home yesterday to find a small, thin mattress on the floor next to our super king bed. We usually use it for children of guests

                This is now my “slave bed” and comes with a thin blanket and uncovered old pillow. I’m banned from bed as my wife feels she deserves to spread out

                Things seem to change so fast

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