Dashing Hopes versus Zero Hope

[1 April 2020] About my previous two posts on total denial of orgasms, one comment I received, (I paraphrase),  suggested that surely hope is a requirement of properly affecting cruelty. I think this view must have come about because of the recent, frequent mentions of the pleasurable tactic of raising a slave’s hopes for the sole purpose of dashing them. (A momentous and fantastic idea from the amazing Lady Jessica).

Hope Raised and DASHED

Well I thought I should post to confirm that hope is NOT a requirement of affecting cruelty. While I DO love raising and dashing bitch-boy’s hopes and now do so frequently, (thank you so much Lady Jessica), I know there are a number of wishes for which bitch-boy has zero hope but the wish remains a very affecting cruelty to both him and me. These can be long term or short term.

Examples of zero hope include:

  • That he will never ever get to penetrate a woman again. And that is despite how

    often I flaunt my body to him and verbally remind him how much he would adore to  penetrate me but I am 100% CLEAR that he never ever will. He has no hope I will ever let him and it seriously affects him each time I flaunt my body and remind him. (Just about daily!)

  • When I secure him for say five hours of sensory deprivation bondage. As I secure him, he desperately wishes I will reduce the duration but he knows I absolutely will not. He has no hope I will.
  • If a new, horrible-for-him, activity comes to my attention and I inform bitch-boy I will be trying it out and if I like it, it will become part of my regime. I make it clear 100% that I will be trying it out! He dreads it, but has no hope that I will not try it out.

For info on my own BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.

16 thoughts on “Dashing Hopes versus Zero Hope

  1. Great post! I get it now. :)

    Question: Re: BB’s exile from penetration, was that something he fantasized about or something you implemented because he loved it so much? Were you ever a fan of it? My wife isn’t really into denial or chastity so much because she says she enjoys feeling me.

    1. It was never, ever a fantasy of his! I implemented it because (A) I started to find clitoral orgasms were my favourite and (B) I knew how profoundly it would effect him.

  2. my mistress has redefined what it means for me to have an orgasm. She says that getting close to an orgasm is as far as i can ever go. This is because sissies don’t ejaculate so i don’t get to feel orgasms like men do. She calls this sissyorgasms and she would only let me feel a sissyorgasm if she was in a generous mood or when she lets me beg for it really really hard. Under normal circumstances when she is entertaining herself with T&D/CBT, she rarely lets me get as far as a sissyorgasm.

      1. as close to the edge without ever reaching the peak. Sometimes she would make me have countless sissyorgasms and i have to show deep gratitude for being allowed to receive so much pleasure from her. If she is unhappy, with an amount of precum that dribbles out when she allows me a sissyorgasm, then it would be the last one.

        The other point i should add is that she never touches the shaft of my birth defect anymore. She prefers to only focus on the head which she refers to as my sissyclit. Nowadays i’ve learned to look forward to mistress rubbing my sissyclit until i get a sissyorgasm.

        1. So, sissygimpmaid, or cook&cleaner, which is it? If she brings you to the edge and then stops that is a sissorgasm. And if you produce precum she stops brining you close to the edge?

          Are you in a chastity device at all other times?

          1. when she brings me to the edge then stops, that’s my sissyorgasm. This can happen multiple times. If i start to produce too much or any precum (depending on her mood), she’ll stop. She finds it gross and says it’s like slime oozing out or being secreted from my sissyclit.

              1. things have changed between the two of us. I’m happy to share with you, my favourite author, perhaps via email but not ready to share in public.

  3. This is my favorite topic You write on. Thank You for lifting my spirits in this difficult time. i worry about losing an intimate connection without any penetration. When You describe “flaunting” it seems like You are able to maintain that connection. My Mistress has taken away more things over time. i haven’t been allows self pleasure in over two years. It has been close to two years since the last time She allowed a non-penetrative orgasm that wasn’t ruined. I’ve been allows PIV exactly one time since Christmas. When she ruins it (maybe twice a month), I often hope she will either stop (so my sex drive will stay high) or not ruin it. So far, it’s been the same thing over and over again. I suppose we feel an intimate connection and watches me and delivers a perfect ruined orgasm despite my pleading.

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