Good things don’t always cum to those who wait!

Three elements to this post.

Update on bitch-boy’s new chastity regime – Dommes evolve!

bitch-boy’s new chastity regimen began on  6 June 2020. One part of the new regimen is that he is in his inescapable, double-padlocked  chastity cage 24/7/365, every single second. Even when bathing. The second part of the regimen is the massive reduction in his orgasm count.

Before 6 June, apart from concessional one-off long periods, he used to orgasm once every 10 days to 2 weeks. (because I liked him to be clear just how much pleasure I could give with my skillful hands bringing him off, so he knew what he was missing between orgasms).

Since 6 June he has had one orgasm, which was after 17 weeks without one. That orgasm was on 1st October, 4 weeks ago; and he has not had another one since. I, on the other hand, am having many orgasms each week, even on totally vanilla days and I have more orgasms on a full-on DS day, they he will get in total this year. My frequency of teasing him and pleasure from so doing has increased considerably. He is besieged and overwhelmed with his levels of frustration and helplessness, especially when I tease him. I have ZERO sympathy, ZERO pity, ZERO guilt. I ADORE the new regimen. I am a sadistic, pitiless, bitch after all!

I should explain that my objective of him being clear just how much pleasure I could give with my skillful hands bringing him off rather evaporated when, in February 2020, I moved to him only ever cumming off under the sole of my shoe!

[And as I explained in a previous post: I don’t know if bitch-boy is unusual with this, but we have found, to my cruel pleasure, and his terrible levels of frustration, that if he has gone more than say two weeks without orgasm, then, even if I allow him a full orgasm, within an hour or so, his frustration returns, pretty much as though he has had no full orgasm. In the early days of his chastity regimen, we found I needed to give him two orgasms the same day, to free him, for a while, of the frustration levels he had built up. I did learn that, and applied it because I was merciful then. I have now though evolved to my current levels of pitilessness. I know my email chastity slave has the same reaction from only a single orgasm after a long period of denial.]

The third part is my use of the raffle ticket book and his knowledge that he is inexorably moving toward an orgasm free life. ZERO orgasms ever. I get so ‘hot’ thinking about the journey we are on to get there, as well as what it will be like after the journey has ended. 

Please ALL Dommes contribute!

I have mentioned that all Dommes evolve over time. That is very apparent. Dommes become more uncompromising. Activities move further up ‘the spectrum’ over the months and years of a long term relationship. (It seems the submissives need this evolution too.) I know, for instance, that my chastity regime for bitch-boy is quite tame compared to some I report on, yet quite ‘extreme’ in  the view of others.

So, we are all so privileged to be receiving wonderful  lifestyle accounts from considerably evolved Dommes that I  publish on my blog and long ay that wonderful state of affairs continue. I did want to communicate though, that lifestyle accounts from new Dommes or ‘early years’ Dommes remain very much welcome! Or lifestyle accounts from Dommes who do not see their favourite activities ever mentioned in my blog. I have an insatiable appetite to learn everything I can about the special world we all inhabit and so I wish to share as wide as possible range of lifestyle and activity types. Please never think your particular lifestyle account will not be welcome here!


Chastity Devices in the mainstream

I received a comment with a link the content of which was amusing but the bigger picture also very pleasing. 

Dear Ms Scarlet, Please excuse an off-topic comment. Perhaps you have seen it, but I thought this might amuse: Or you can search “chastity” on the BBC news website.

For me the bigger picture is very pleasing because the concept of domination of males in the home by females is becoming much more mainstream. We so need this! Submissive males are seriously misunderstood by the populace and truly dominant females are still though of as only professional dominatrices. The damage to the understanding of the realities done by things like the appalling 50 Shades  franchise and the by the femdom internet is HUGE! 


The Born Again Virgin (BAV) register

Entries on the BAV register continue to increase in number. Have a quick look if you havn’t before. 



21 thoughts on “Good things don’t always cum to those who wait!

  1. Dear Ms. Scarlet,

    You had mentioned the damage done to the understanding of Dominant women by 50 Shades. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of Ms Renee Lane. She has written a book (which I am sure you would enjoy) about her relationship with her husband (now butler) which she is trying to make into a movie.

    If you’d like more information you can find it here:

    And once again, thank you so very much for this wonderful blog.

    1. I am sooooo contrary aren’t I! I say that because I have a problem with the book you mention! LOL. I am impossible to please! I do say the book is a billion times better than 50 shades, but the cover! The first impressions to vanilla people!
      A woman in uncomfortable thigh high boots, (try sitting down in them!) stockings, an uncomfortable corset and above-the-elbow gloves! That outfit is so very, very far from how I dress, and I think I am right in saying; how Christine M, Lady Jessica, Mistress Corrine, Mistress Brigite, Mistress Joan, Miss C, Miss Alecto, Miss Heatherton, Ms Anne, etc, etc, etc, dress.
      So before even opening the cover, there is a TOTAL misrepresentation of REAL Female Led Relationships.

      1. I agree with Ms. Scarlet.
        I never wear fetish clothes, all I want is for them to be pretty, soft and comfortable.
        Only cucu wears fetish clothes like corsets, high heels … his comfort is not important to me at all, on the contrary.

      2. I can certainly attest that I would never be seen attired like that! I dress for MY comfort and practicality. Nor am I the lithe, svelte model of these characterisations. Far from it! And the only person in our household who wears a girdle and stockings is David.
        Before we met, David most certainly dreamt of serving such an archetypical dominatrix, but he met reality! With me also being much older, and David being slim, athletic and handsome; I adore the looks I receive, especially the envious ones from ladies. They well note the respect he displays, old-fashioned chivalry, opening my car door and closing it carefully for me, carrying everything, seating me first at a restaurant, ensuring I am always his priority… If they only knew the full story!

        1. I sometimes see males ogling me when I am out with bitch-boy and, him being much older then me, I am sure they think how lucky he is. As you say, …..If they only knew the full story!

      3. In general I agree with you, the image of the dominatrix in corset and thigh boots is a stereotype and certainly does not fit into true femdom relationships.
        But I confess that, from time to time, I don’t mind wearing some fetish clothes, in particular shoes, and wearing particularly erotic and vaguely fetish underwear, which my wife adores.

        1. Oh I of course think women should dress in whatever they want. I sometimes wear very erotic/exotic items, either to tease bitch-boy to miserable distraction, or for a female lover. And I love my collection of high-heeled platform shoes! I was only making the point that given the contention was the author would make a helpful film depicting real-life female domination, then the image of uncomfortable clothing like thigh high boots and corsets, was a very bad start.

      4. Dear Ms. Scarlet,

        I was taken aback by the negative response by you and your readers. First I would like to point out that for the very short period in my life where I was in an FLR my SO adored wearing such gloves and boots (it was me however that wore a very uncomfortable corset).

        As I began to read your most recent post where you point out that you wished you had known about this earlier, I can’t help but to think that you and Ms. Renee are both seeking the same goal of empowering women to accept this type of relationship and to see the benefits thereof. I should like to think that if more women were aware of the advantages of a Female Led Relation I would not have lived the life I have.

        This book really cannot be judged by its cover, and given the joy you have given me by your blog, I would like to buy you the book if you would allow me to. Given your writings over the years I am convinced you would enjoy the book…and hopefully movie.

        1. I hope you do not mind me responding and publishing my and your comment (that I have edited as I think you would have wished). I truly thank you for your comment and the opportunity it has given me to make the points I will make that I feel so passionately about.

          I am afraid you are quite unable to put yourself into the head of a 100% vanilla woman. This is a really common and understandable problem for experienced BDSM community people. What would be very weird quickly becomes normal once we are in our cossetted world. I of course am able to put myself into the head of a 100% vanilla woman. I can remember exactly what I was like when I was one. I also have numerous accounts of sub males who have advised me of the reactions of their vanilla wives when they have insensitively broached the subject of FLR with a full-on image or two.

          This makes your comment very useful indeed. Within your comment and this response is a lesson sub males MUST LEARN; if they are to attract a vanilla woman to try-out being a Domme. This lesson is so very important. I am very passionate about this.

          You use your SO, when you were in a FLR, as an example in support of your argument. Your SO was not a vanilla woman, was she? She was a Domme. So what she did and she liked once she was a Domme is irrelevant to attracting vanilla women into FLRs. In addition even you concede she di not wear a corset or THIGH HIGH boots.

          Ms. Renee may well be, and I certainly am, seeking the goal of empowering women to accept this type of relationship and to see the benefits thereof. But I am clear I wish to help empower VANILLA women. There is little gain to sub males in empowering women who are already Dommes. So I look at everything that is intended to meet my goal from the perspective of a 100% vanilla woman and everything I, and others wrote about the book’s cover stands as 100% valid with that perspective.

          And also you are seeing the world as you wish it was, not as it is. You say, this book really cannot be judged by its cover. BUT IT WILL BE! That is the whole point. A vanilla woman presented with this book will look at the cover in relation to her marriage and be horrified. To her it is an image of a professional sex worker, a dominatrix; not an image of a loving wife or girlfriend. So what is inside the book becomes irrelevant as she never gets past the cover. And the cover also raises huge questions about the author who, either cannot remember what it was like being vanilla or was never vanilla OR, is more interested in the profits of selling her book to the BDSM community, than attracting vanilla women to read it. It is no doubt a fantastic book to guide the novice Domme, but that is not where my goal lies, not you suggest Miss Renee’s.

          You write she is well meaning and I do not doubt you are right, but the cover fatally wounds any good intentions. That is why my extensively researched (and low cost) little book for VANILLA women has a plain cover and inside are just baby steps for a vanilla woman to see the attraction of becoming a fledging Domme. It has to begin with baby steps.

          A peek inside the cover of Renee’s book at the contents page will also totally horrify a 100% vanilla woman. She is thinking of her husband she loves and she sees these words: Discipline, Blackmail, Psychological Control, Humiliation, Sexuality. She is likely to run a mile from the whole idea of becoming a Domme.

          We have my clear memory of me being 100% vanilla, we have the accounts of subs who showed their 100% vanilla wives such material and put off their wives, and we have the other comments from Dommes on this blog all supporting the points I am making.

          So I truly thank you for your comment and the opportunity it has given me to make the points I have made that I feel so passionately about.

          (Please note; I know a dominatrix is not a sex worker, I am making the point of what a vanilla woman almost certainly thinks.)

          1. Ms. Scarlet,

            Thank you so very much for taking the time for this well thought out reply. You are right in so many respects, and if I were decades younger I would have not hesitated to introduce my budding love to your book in hopes she would receive it well and would someday rise to the level and intensity that you, and Ms. Renee, have attained.

            The woman I referred to had never (as far as I know) been able to experiment with domination, however she had always felt the pull. Being with someone (me) that allowed her to flourish she bought every beginning Domination book she could find back in the 90s. She enjoyed wearing powerful fetish clothing, and enjoyed the effect they had over me.

            At my age I given up hope of introducing a vanilla woman to domination; it takes far too long to get to that point in the relationship and that is something I don’t have a lot of anymore.

            Thank you again for this wonderful blog.

  2. Dearest Mistress Scarlet, thank You so much for another wonderful chastity post. The interview You conducted with Mistress Corrine about Her and Mistress Carmen’s treatment of Their slave was so powerful, particularly the absolute chastity imposed on Their property. i am so grateful for all the amazing Domme stories You have gathered, so inspiring. i hope You will be able to find more beginning and early Dommes to write. It has been long since Mistress Cortney, for example, wrote. She is truly amazing. sincerely, Chrissie

  3. During 24/7 chastity in my last FLR (about 4yrs), we also found that the best cycle for maintaining maximum focus-thru-frustration was with a single orgasm every 3-4 months. Teasing (and occasional punishment for releasing during a tease)? Yes. Prostate releases, yes. But orgasms strategically timed to ensure quickest reset of maximum frustration and focus on pleasing her. And I wouldn’t have wanted/want it any other way, LOL!

  4. I once asked a Mistress why she preferred older slaves…her response was, “when I say never again, like no more sex or orgasms, they know it will most likely be true as they will probably die before me!”
    Unfortunately she started doing drugs and became an addict, so ironically it may not have been true in the end.

  5. Mistress Scarlet, i would never even consider Mistress Serena require to dress in any form of attire at my request, it is not my place. Yes, i adore seeing Her in erotic/exotic and quality clothing, but only when it suits Her mood or need (such as tormenting Her slave in his/her chastity etc)
    Similar to others here, the only person in our household who wears corsets, girdles and other corsetry is tiffany-maid, me.

    1. I agree completely with tiffany-maid. As much as I would love Mistress C to wear clothing that excites me, it’s not my decision. In fact, I have to wear clothes that please her. I am the only one in the household who wears corsets and high heels. My feminine wardrobe consists solely of uniforms, dresses, and skirts—no pants or shorts allowed because Mistress C doesn’t want me to wear them. She naturally wears whatever she wants.

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