Subtle Signals

I came across an interesting discussion and I wondered if readers of this blog could add to the list below. The list is about subtle signals from Dommes, used in private and in public, as commands for the submissive to learn and then follow.

One thing I do like to do, in this vein, (perhaps it is more of a routine than a single signal), occurs when shopping for clothes and shoes. Having decided on a purchase I approach the counter with the item and engage with the saleswoman who folds/wraps/bags the item. When it is time to pay, I simply step back. bitch-boy who has been hovering quietly behind me, steps forward and pays. Usually, the saleswoman then holds out to me the bagged item. Again, I step back and bitch-boy, no matter how many bags he is already carrying, steps forward and takes the bag. I have had knowing glances that this is a male under the thumb and wonderfully, occasionally, a comment of words to the effect, ‘Oh isn’t he well trained.’ Sadly it is always said in jest rather than seriousness. If only they knew!

I am afraid subtle is not often in my nature, although I would like to be more subtle and I may try a few of these after lock-down.

From submissive A

When visiting my Mistress, she has several routines that are required in order to demonstrate submission. Some are for private spaces, and others are done in more public circumstances, and I am required to attend to her, and read her signals, and respond accordingly.

  1. Quickly tapping her right heel, signifies I am to kneel at her feet, until permitted to stand. Used both in private a public, it can also include being verbally berated.
  2. Purse tapping, means I am to hold her purse as if it were mine, usually until noticed by someone; for the purpose of embarrassment / humiliation. Sometimes, I must then take items out of her purse, while she uses them, to show I am attending to her needs.
From submissive B

A few silent signals I have received include:
– placing her right foot slightly to the rear and toe pointed down was a signal for me to curtsy
– placing her right foot forward was a signal for me to kneel before her and kiss it
– placing the toe of one shoe or boot upward, while seated, was a signal for me to remove her shoe or boot
– slightly lifting an empty glass or cup up was a signal for me to fill it
– hovering her hand over a package or bag was a signal for me to pick it up and carry it
– dangling a hair brush outward from her hand, while seated, was a signal to brush her hair
– tapping a hair brush or paddle onto her palm was a signal to prepare for a spanking



For info on my BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.



15 thoughts on “Subtle Signals

  1. Dear Scarlet

    I always enjoy this subtle form of domination in public. When shopping my slave husband always walks slightly behind and to one side of me, only going forward to open doors. In a department store if warm he will sometime be required to carry my coat to.
    And yes I get knowing looks and occasional comments if he is helping me try shoes on, having kneeling and unzipping my boots, or helping me try coats or jackets on. Carrying clothes to the changing room entrance for me and knowing he won’t dare wander off.
    The only difference is I like paying, sending out the signals that I control the finances, which I do, only then will he step forward to take the bags from the sales staff.

  2. For my part, I don’t really have these discreet gestures. The only thing I use is a “code” word to call to order when we are with people who do not know my practices.
    Cucu’s first name is jean (john in English) and his nickname is jeannot and everyone who knows us is calls him jeannot, so when I call him back to order I use jean, it’s totally discreet, but cucu knows I don’t like his attitude.

  3. I dream of exactly this! A woman who liked to dominate me subtly. Wait by the doors for me to open them for her, have me carry her bags, use my umbrella while i get wet…Showing the world subtly that her comfort always comes before mine.

    A lot of the thrill, like you mentioned earlier, is also if she never thanked me for it and just took it for granted. I wish for a lady who would gladly let me carry all her heavy bags/luggage while she just walked ahead of me completely carefree and giggled at my struggle…And just stood and waited by every door for me to open it for her, no mather how much i was carrying.

  4. And i adore being a humble gentleman and submissive servant for Women like you! Why can´t i ever meet someone like you when i offer Women to carry their bags…Who would gladly let me take care of them and not even thank me. :)

  5. A lot more women there into being submissive and dominated themselves, in my experience. Very rare to find a true dominant woman. I´ve tried to introduce Femdom to a couple of vanilla girlfriends, but they were never into it. Never been in a Dom/sub relationship.

  6. indeed little things for me it started with my sister she is 8 years my superior. She would take me shopping at Christmas and i would be required to carry all her packages. Sometimes the clerk would say he is well trained and my sister response would be of course he dosen’t want a spanking when he gets home as she looks at me to answer no Ma’am. i was ten. We still go shopping from time to time . i always open her doors and carry her packages. I did that with my ex wife too. And to any Women i am with.

  7. Amazing sister in deed! Came early for me too, my first encounters with the joys of being submissive. For me it was my stepmom. She would often say that she liked gentlemen and was the kind of woman who clearly liked being treated as a lady. Very much the opposite to my mom who wanted to do everything herself and was used to it, Instead, she liked having men do things for her and flirted with them or played the damsel in distress act for them to help her and take care of things…She was very sexy too. I loved when she asked me to carry her bags! To just walk behind her and stare at her ass while she was shopping with my dads money (she was a housewife). Wishing she would take my allowance to buy anything she wanted with too…One time she asked me to mow the lawn and just sat there herself in the sun relaxing while i was at it. My dad was working and i´d often ask her if there was anything i could do for her or help her with. Loved when she had things for me to do and fix! Even at that age, i loved the thought of her being a princess and me her servant, there for her to be as comfortable as possible…She was all that mattered. I automatically tried to get her to dominate or use me, in various situations. Was a thrill every trime she did. Said she could wipe her hands on my shirt one time which she did with a smile…Offered her my shirt to sit on another time when we were out so she wouldn´t get dirty and remember how excited i felt when walking behind her to see her ass sitting on my shirt…

    Funny thing is that her daughter, a few years younger than me, was actually more dominant and even with a sadistic streak at times…My stepmom was only flirty with a natural talent in making men wanting to do things for her. But i can recall my submissive nature towards the opposite sex even earlier, too.

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