Let us start with a fact. Apart from transvestites and transsexuals, most men are embarrassed to be forced to wear female clothing. Some feminist Dommes run an argument that the men should not feel embarrassed as, if they are, it shows these men consider women are inferior and that is why the men do not want to be dressed as women. This position is said to be supported by the fact that women are not embarrassed to be forced to be dressed as men. Therefore the Dommes in question do not forcibly dress their submissive males in feminine attire. Well………………….. I am a feminist, obviously. But I am also a realist. My view is these feminists are seriously missing the important facts that a deep analysis of the situation exposes.
If a male has the prejudicial sexist view that he finds being forced to wear female clothing humiliating, it is perfect justice that his prejudicial sexist view is used against him. What could be a more perfect punishment for a sexist view than to use that sexist view against him. He finds female related shame clothing humiliating because of a sexist view, so he only has himself to blame that that is used to humiliate him – (A) as a punishment for his view, and (B), FOR THE PLEASURE OF THE DOMME. The Domme takes pleasure in humiliating her submissive, so if she is a feminist she should not be fettered from so doing by the submissives prejudice! That is allowing the sexist submissive to fetter HER choices, to CONTROL HER!
Sometimes the feminist Dommes in question say that to use feminine clothing as shame clothing on a male perpetuates misogyny in society. I find this a strange view. A man in your home forced to dress as a female and deeply humiliated as a result strengthens misogyny????? My experiences of this activity certainly observe any males involved are very much NOT feeling superior to the females involved, or holding those females in less regard. Quite the opposite!
Having said all that, ironically, after a few uses of standard female clothing on bitch-boy, it was clear he is not misogynist at all, (probably one reason I was attracted to him), so he did not really find being forced to dress as a ‘standard’ female particularly humiliating.
I therefore sought to worsen the humiliation with shame clothing; so now, firstly, I do not use ‘standard’ women’s clothing. I force him into parody of schoolgirl, French maid, sissy maid and parody of little girl attire, with dresses shortened with hems no lower than his hips, (and unlike in the image below, no underwear – so his shaved, caged, genitalia are on full display!)
While obviously a woman would not find it humiliating to be made to wear ‘standard’ men’s clothing, even a feminist woman, I think, would find it humiliating to be ‘made’ to wear schoolgirl, French maid, sissy maid or parody of little girl attire. Schoolgirl and little girl attire indicate regression to child status which is humiliating for an adult, and sissy maid and French maid are humiliating as they are uniforms indicating a purposefully lower, servile status than those not so dressed.
Some of the feminist Dommes I referred to earlier have been rather clever though and I do respect their ingenuity. I have known these Dommes use male clothing as shame clothing but that male clothing is; schoolboy, baby boy or little boy clothing to shame their submissive male, so not using female clothing. A Little Lord Fauntleroy outfit is very shaming I think.
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Making Comments on posts: Comments do not appear on my blog until I have moderated them. Comments that insult anyone will not be published, nor will aggressive comments. A wide range of views is truly welcome, we all have things to learn, however comments will not be published that take a contrary or critical view to any aspect of a post, but fail to explain why this contrary view is held, or fail to address the reasoning set out in the post to which the comment relates. (Such unexplained contrary comments are simply boring.)
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I agree wearing female clothes cannot be described as misogyny.
The humiliation I feel is mixed with joy at the softness of the clothing; having to work on chores of course exacerbates the humiliation particularly if you snag your stocking and receive less than complimentary and barbed comments, worse of course if you are reminded to make sure your pocket money covers another pair! No, the wearing of female clothing either has shaming or enjoyment makes one respect females more.
Thank you for your very interesting post. Speaking from a submissive male’s perspective I must say that I disagree with the feminist Dommes’ position that female attire is humiliating because submissive males consider women to be inferior. Quite the reverse is true. I personally find women to be far superior to males, and feminine clothing is symbolic of that status. I would conjecture that the reason males find being dressed in such clothing a humiliating experience is not because of our innate sense that women are inferior but because males are, practically from birth, encouraged to be masculine and that any deviation from this risks rejection by society. Boys are told to ‘man up’, not to cry or be girly. We are chastised relentlessly when there is any trace of something less than masculinity…and very often by women. Males, therefore, have no choice but to be masculine or risk being rejected by society. This is further reinforced when, in adolescence, we are forced to compete with other males for the attention of females. When we fail to reach the required level of masculinity we are rejected outright and these experiences stay with us. Girls, on the other hand, are taught that it is okay to be feminine and submissive, and equally okay to be assertive. This is reflected in the fact that it is socially acceptable for women to wear ‘men’s’ clothes. I believe it is the threat of exposure and subsequent rejection that creates the feelings of humiliation in males when wearing female attire – the unstated threat that someone will knock on the door, that people may become aware of what goes on behind closed doors. This gives women their power over men. If we ever get to a point where it becomes socially acceptable for males to be submissive, I believe women will lose that power. I sincerely hope that never happens!
You talk about humilitation as if it’s inherently unpleasant. But for some subs it’s perfect bliss.
I guess you have not been reading my blog for long. Welcome.
Here is my breakdown of the psychology involved.It is perfect bliss because it is so humiliating. Because being forced to suffer humiliation, gives submssive the feelings they need to be content.
‘If you love your submissive and you wish to be kind to your submissive and have him/her sleep the most sound and contented sleep they can every know, then the saying -‘you have to be cruel to be kind’, is the mantra by which you must live. The deeply submissive is a paradox. They need to feel helplessly in the control of another. That entails feeling that they are treated unfairly when it comes to things like allocations of chores and leisure time. It means they have to be genuinely very fearful and frightened of the punishments that are given in response to infractions. It also means they have to be subjected to pain and humiliation that they do not enjoy. It is only when they are genuinely fearful of punishment for infractions and when they suffer pain and humiliation and unfairness they genuinely would rather not experience, that they feely truly controlled and in the helpless power of another. And without feeling truly controlled and in the helpless power of another, they can NEVER be wholly content with their lives. So real love and kindness for a true submissive does not mean going easy on them in any way, or being fair with them – that causes discontent and unhappiness and is not being kind.
I could write a book on how I feel about this, and will try not to here. But…
Fear of offending women has been an inhibition to exploring my feminine side. I don’t want them to think that I think femininity is weak, but I can see why it would be seen this way.
We don’t always get to pick what pushes our buttons. I don’t always understand it either. When I was a teen, it was much more blatantly sexual for me, and as I’ve grown older the feelings have shifting – it can calm me, focus me, and allow me to operate outside my usual role. I can’t always pinpoint why this so. When I wear tights, it centers my focus to the here and now, because they feel so different. I am not a horny teenager any more – my relationship to women has changed, and so has my relationship to CD.
Some of the stuff can be “humiliating”. It can also be wildly creative and entertaining and subvert what is usually expected of men. I have had the privilege of entertaining my Mistress and Other Strong Women with my outrageous costumes. I don’t pretend to be a woman. I want to pull off being a male who has courage to subvert his role, sometimes. The “humiliating” stuff I wear would be odd for somebody who is male or female to wear. It is not like I am pretending to be female – no woman I know would wear a satan maid’s dress. Maybe I have the “privilege” of doing this “sometimes”. I don’t know – but I like making women laugh.
Sometimes it is not humiliating at all, but the different sensations focus me. Why was it easier to do chores while wearing my Mistress’s yoga shorts and a t-shirt? I don’t know. It isn’t even particularly feminine. It feels a little different and tells me I am not in some dopey office dealing with my job. I suspect some women might wear yoga shorts and a t-shirt for exact same reason.
There is a much wider range of clothing for women to wear. I get slightly annoyed when I go into a clothing store, and there are so many more options for women. On the other hand, I understand this can be a blessing and a curse if you have to deal with all of those options all the time. I like how there are a few more options for men than there used to be.
I can’t change the politics of others, or the experiences others may have had which make them feel so strongly about all of this. But, when I go somewhere public or even semi-public “dressed” it feels like my own political statement that I am not afraid to appear “vulnerable”. Sometimes I’ve worn very vanilla attire, and sometimes I have worn very humiliating attire. I don’t think this is a disservice to people who identify as female – I admire femininity – and wish it could be taken that way.
I am not sure I am “humiliated” in the same way as someone who “hates” to wear women’s clothes. On the other hand, it is still a “rush” and a “challenge” for me to be creative, vulnerable, and pull it off in front of the hight “audience”. I am never making fun of women when I do it.
I am damn shy around women. I always have been. Maybe I have some drive to do this as a way of feeling “close” to women. I don’t know for sure. I will never know what it is like to “be a woman” but I really love how different things can feel. When I pamper my mistress and do her nails, and then my own, it feels like a shared experience.
Sorry for the long rant.
P.S. I don’t hate chores!!!!! They give me a sense of organization that I don’t often feel as an overly busy middle aged person. Slowing down and focusing on things that are purposeful can be a blessing! I don’t “love” chores either but I do love being in mindset where I can focus on them!!!!
I have been wearing panties 24/7 for over 25 years and it was my wife’s idea. She has me wear baby doll nighties, sheer, when I do my housework. And when we go in our pool I must wear either a one piece or two piece ladies bathing suit. I have several. I really enjoy wearing panties, the silky nylon feels good and they fit better. I do feel humiliated somewhat when I put on my ladies bathing suit and spend time outside. It is out of view of neighbors, except for an occasional golfer looking for a errant ball.
Most men have been brought up to be macho and “real men”, and wearing any women’s apparel, the man is probably looked at by others to be gay or a sissy. My wife likes to have me wear some feminine clothing and I think it is because, being her full time slave, it strips away any manly or macho feelings I may have. I do feel women are superior to men, so I do not think wearing women’s clothing shows a woman to be inferior.
This is a topic that really interests me. I’ve read and reread post. Thank you. I hope that more people understand that me messing with the boundaries of what is “acceptable” for a “masculine man” isn’t a comment on women, whether I am feeling humiliated or not.
Do you think stretching out a man and making him more “flexible” helps even when it isn’t strictly humiliating?
I do not know what you mean by. ‘……….. stretching out a man and making him more “flexible” ‘
I meant playing with boundaries of masculinity. Doing outside the roles of what is expected of men isn’t necessarily a comment on women. It can be subversive. Cross dressing can be liberating.