Symbiosis requires him genuinely fearing punishment

This post brings together: A description of my current regimen of punishments bitch-boy fears 24/7/365 and a comment from Mistress Joan on the wonderful previous post from Miss Anne regarding a genuinely feared punishment Mistress Joan introduced regarding the recent European football finals.


Perhaps before moving on, I should explain what I mean by, Symbiosis. I am referring to the glorious situation of, simultaneously : A dominant woman getting deep contentment from, (at least from time to time), being ruthlessly dominant AND, the submissive, even if they do not like some of the domination at the time it is happening, getting deep contentment from being 24/7/365 helplessly in the power of a woman capable of being ruthlessly dominant. What an amazing relationship this is. a relationship that NEVER gets stale because the Mistress inevitably evolves.

Genuinely feared punishment

For a few reasons it is actually not as simple as one might think to have the submissive genuinely fearing punishment. BUT, if they do not, there CAN NEVER BE the wonderful state of symbiosis. I’m afraid it is that simple.

One reason is that the dominant fails to have her own and her submissive’s best interests at heart because she is too reasonable and too kind to carry through a punishment the submissive genuinely fears. A sad situation indeed. Particularly sad because, of course, rather than being kind to the submissive, she is actually being grossly unkind.

A second reason is that a weak, cowardly, detestable submissive may move into vanilla mode to then verbally attempt to get out of the punishment he genuinely fears.

A third reason is the submissive wants and craves ‘erotic’ punishments. So truly has to not want the genuine punishment, despite a craving to receive ‘erotic’ punishments for infractions.

A final reason is that, for a 24/7/365 state of symbiosis, the genuinely feared punishment must relate to some vanilla time conduct of the submissive, if vanilla time is a part of the relationship.

Bearing in mind these three issues, I will move onto my current punishment regimen that, I can assure you, bitch-boy genuine fears, and I will highlight the challenges to my own regimen to being successful; that I have overcome.

I have mentioned in a number of posts a step-change in pitilessness I have been through over the last year. This includes a profoundly shameless approach to my sadism and also a chastity and denial regimen that is quite extreme, (although I accept not as extreme as many like Christine’s and Brigite’s and Anne’s for example).

So at the moment, bitch-boy has a long list of default rules that apply 24/7/365. These include making sure he wakes before me every singly day and by the time I awake, the kitchen, sitting room and dining room are in an immaculate state. They also include a long list of things that must never run-out because he is continuously making sure of they do not. Five different types of drink that must always be chilled in the fridge for when the whim takes me to have one. Other things like ample toilet roll and kitchen towel always on the dispenser, his clothes put away the moment he removes them, my Lelo wand always fully charged, etc, etc, etc. I should add that apart from the symbiosis benefits of my punishment regimen, what a lovely life I lead with all these possible irritations and chores eradicated!

If bitch-boy fails to comply with one of the default rules, I either, note down in the notes section of my phone, that a punishment for that infraction will be delivered during the next DS day, or, I punish him there and then, OR BOTH! In order that a punishment there-and-then is feared, I quite simply use pain beyond what he thinks he can endure. I do this by having him bent over holding his ankles, (clothing round his ankles), and I use 12 or 18 very hard dressage whip strokes; importantly, WITH NO WARM UP STROKES AND WITH WRAPAROUND. It is unusual for there to be no warm up strokes and immediate wraparound because my preference when punishing him when I have lots of time, is to build up to the most painful strokes, enjoying his distress along the journey to that point. He genuinely fears those 12 or 18 strokes and when they are over I return to vanilla mode as though nothing has happened, unless I have been aroused enough to need a quick session with my Lelo wand.

There are two other vanilla time punishments he genuinely fears that relate to his orgasm rationing. The first is that I simply increase his current denial period. To explain the second punishment that relates to his orgasm rationing, I need to set out thee background that, when I began his new rationing regime, I included a rule that he would never have an orgasm within six weeks of his last and also that, should I decide on a denial period increase, the minimum denial period increase would be TWO weeks. I would not just be adding one day or two days. The minimum I would add would be two weeks.

He pleaded and pleaded over both these things. I advised him that regarding the six weeks, the ratchet had been clicked never to be clicked back. when there was a change, (and in due course there would be), that would only be by a forward click of the ratchet and an increased minimum period longer than six weeks.

Regarding the two week minimum increase, should I impose an increase, I told him if he genuinely surprised me with a gift or act I could not think of, that I thought because of its innovation, went beyond what I deserved as his beautiful dominant Mistress, (a VERY HIGH hurdle indeed!), I would reduce the two weeks minimum increase to one. Well he is a highly intelligent, innovative man, and he succeeded! So I did reduce the minimum two week increase to one week, but then saddened him rather, by pointing out that I could change it back to two weeks, either as a punishment, or because I just felt like it. What a bitch I am.

So, the other two other vanilla time punishments he genuinely fears that relate to his orgasm rationing are 1), that I increase his denial period, or 2) that I reverse my last decision and up the minimum increase amount from one week to two. Truth be told, he fears the denial related punishments far, far more than the pain punishments. (The poor puppet is so, so so very sexually desperate!)

Of course, I can and sometimes do award several punishments of any type for a single infraction. For instance, a month or so ago, I awarded a thrashing and three weeks added to his current denial period for a single infraction.

So in vanilla time as well as DS time, he is constantly in fear of being punished and we have wonderful symbiosis. My only problem is; that makes him so diligent he can often go days and days without committing an infraction; which brings me to unreasonableness! I know the symbiosis will be eroded if he never gets awarded a punishment over, say, four days, so I am UNREASONABLE. Given, for instance, by the time I awake, the kitchen, sitting room and dining room must be in an immaculate state, I will find something not good enough to end the for day drought of awarding a punishment. This unreasonableness is pleasantly amusing for me as well.

The last issue I will raise on this topic relates to me being a sadist. So during full-on DS days I like to have him secured for a cruel thrashing. Normally three or more during a whole day. In order to make sure the punishments for infractions are genuinely feared, I differentiate between those and when I thrash him simply to satiate my sadistic desires. He must never think it does not matter whether he commits infractions or not, because he will always get a thrashing to satiate my sadism anyway. I make it clear whether a thrashing is a punishment for an infraction, or simply for nothing more than my pleasure and so he understands that EVERY INFRACTION results in a punishment that would not have otherwise been dished out. A typical full-on DS day would therefor be as a follows.

His first thrashing is announced to be for a particular infraction. He must thank me when it is over with the words, ‘Thank you Mistress for helping to make me a better sissy-slave.‘ His second punishment may be because I want to punish him, just because I can, so it is announced to be simply because I am a sadist. He must thank me when it over with the words, ‘Thank you Mistress for the privilege of suffering the pain you inflict to satiate your sadistic sexual desires.‘ After three or four punishments like this for one of the two potential reasons, I have introduced a new punishment if more is needed, because I do not want him to be habituated to such thrashings and them lose their effect. He now gets a punishment called an ERECTION CORRECTION session.

The theme is that I expect him to be able to lose an erection on my command. Quite a reasonable expectation I think. So the training session is awarded as a punishment and, had there not been an infraction, the session would not be happening. I sit up on the front of my sofa seat and secure his wrists behind his back. I have to gag him because he suffers so. I have my twelve-inch ruler on the sofa next to me and I begin to squeeze his flaccid little defect and tickle his balls and perineum. As soon as I start my speech and he has seen the twelve inch ruler he begins to whimper and plead into his gag. I tell him if he wants me to use my ruler with lots of hard smacks, all he has to do is make his clitty hard and erect. But, if he gets an erection, there will be Erection Correction! Of course, with the Cialis I make him take and the typical denial period he would be enduring, he gets very hard. Then I begin smacking it with the ruler. Not just taps, which are pointless, but smacks that elicit squeals and panicky begging. I smack away, covering all the surface of the shaft while he whimpers and begs. His defect starts to go quite pink and I start to get quite wet. (I apply this punishment with the same state of mind as a thrashing and it takes as long; 20 to 30 minutes). Then I tell him I am becoming cross that he is defiantly erect and he must go soft now, or I will smack harder and keep smacking. His defect is properly red by now. I sometimes stop at this point for an orgasm. If I do and he has gone soft, when I am ready to begin smacking again, I use my hands to tease it back to erection. I tell him this is totally fair as it is part of training him to lose erections on command, and I will train him to to so, even if it takes years of ERECTION CORRECTION sessions! I smack away, and keep telling him I am cross and demand he loses his erection on my command to do so, and if he had not committed his infraction, he would not be enduring an erection correction session. Often around this phase of the activity, I walk out and return with the Linnex applicator. I do not mention the applicator, but I place it on the sofa next to me. He begins the most pitiable whimpering and pleading. Being so very sore and seeing the Linnex brought into the prospects, it is as through his world has come to an end.

At this point, usually, I pull back his foreskin, manipulating him to full hardness if his fear of the Linnex has deflated him at all. I remind him I am being fair because how can I train him to lose erections on command if he is not erect when I wish to command him to go soft. He gets erect. I tell him to immediately go soft. I wait a second and then tut-tut, and then I tell him that perhaps I need to smack the clitty-head to make him go nice and soft and floppy on my command, and that is what I do; while he squeals and pleads. We are nearing several alternative and-or endings at this point. Sometimes I have another orgasm. Sometimes I tell him he will go through another session of Erection Correction in an hour or so. Sometimes, I tell him I am so cross that he still disobeys me when told to immediately go soft, I may as well give the sore, red object a stripe or two of Linnex, to see if that will help with his training. If I do that, then afterwards I always have to have an orgasm once he starts his whimpering and sobbing.

The comment from Mistress Joan relating to Anne’s post

Dear Scarlet

I didn’t know if this was the correct etiquette to reply to Miss Anne’s post or write separately.
Similarly to her my husband had been looking forward to watching the Euro football competition, even bragging to our friends how he wasn’t going to miss a game. As I have written before, I control the tv remote and he has to ask to watch a particular program.
At home and alone I of course challenged him about this, and he sort of pleaded with a hopeful expression that; ‘…couldn’t we just put things on hold while the games were on’. To give him a little hope I told him I would think about it.

Perhaps I should explain a little of our house, we have a utility room off the kitchen which leads to a loo, an integral garage and the outside. The outside door and garage both having locking doors as do the windows in the utility room. The utility room has no radio or television and a bright fluorescent light. He is quite handy at DIY and I instructed him to change the door handle to the kitchen into one which could be locked with a key.

Prior to the start of the first football game he changed his brash attitude when we were with friends. When the game cam along, he meekly asked if he could please watch the game. I told him no, and to get into the utility room and wait for me there. I changed into a leather skirt, (which I know makes him feel submissive), a well fitted top and a pair of heels. Picking several pleated skirts and dresses from my wardrobes I went to see my husband.

Seeing me dressed like I was, he clearly knew something was going on, I had him strip and put on a feminine apron. Clearly I care for him and I was aware that, although unlikely, I may need him in an emergency. Taking one of the keys to the newly fitted door lock, I put it into an envelope and signed over the seal, repeating this with a larger envelope. Explaining if he ever took the key out without a very good reason, he would be thrashed with my riding crop most severely, this certainly got his attention.

Just before the game kicked off, I told him how disappointed I was with his macho behaviour and not considering my feelings when we were out. Adding that perhaps I should take a photo on my phone so our friends could see what he was really like at home. As a punishment he was to spend the evening ironing my clothes that I had brought down. He sadly picked up the iron and spread a skirt out over the ironing board. Standing close behind I pressed my boobs into his back and my leather skirt touching the back of his legs.

Leaving him to it, I locked him in and went into the lounge and had a large glass of wine and relaxed with a book and some music. After a couple of hours I returned and found my clothes neatly hung up on hangers, making a fuss of inspecting them I told him they were adequate. I then told him to get changed back again and come into the lounge again once he had returned my clothes to my wardrobes.

Asking him if he now learned his lesson, he apologised and promised not to be so selfish again. Telling him, ‘good’, I then had a little surprise for him and showed him I had recorded the game for him to watch now. He did kiss my feet in gratitude and thanked me which made me feel so good.

I did warn him though of any repeat of that previous attitude and he would be finding himself returned to his utility cell. I must say for the next few weeks he was vary careful not to upset me in anyway and was extra attentive; just how a slave husband should be.


Mistress Scarlet’s ADDENDUM No.1, now available in most formats.

16 thoughts on “Symbiosis requires him genuinely fearing punishment

  1. Being a masochist i enjoy most punishments, not only my pain but also the lust I can see in her face.
    There is, however, one torture I really fear (and crave at the same time):
    My cage is taken off, I am blindfolded, she stands sideways with a cane in her hand.
    Then I have to ask her to hit my birth defect once.
    This is repeated and repeated without me knowing the number of strokes she has in mind and without being able to prepare for the sudden pain due to the blindfold.
    What is as bad as the pain itself is to be made to ask for each stroke seperately and to wait for it, because she takes her time playing with my genuine fear.

  2. Hello Ms. Scarlet,
    Wow! Great blog post. Maybe one of your best! Either you are getting better at explaining this stuff or I am understanding it better…or both.

  3. Mistress Scarlet, That post was amazing. I love the punisments that are because you ‘feel like it’ it must make you feel so powerful. Do you ever ball bust bitch boy?

    1. I feel immensely powerful, and decadent and liberated that I am an unashamed sadist. I also feel a little exotic and special knowing the huge number of submissive males crave to be in the company of an unashamed sadist, but cannot find one.

      I do a bit of squeezing, but generally I do not like the haphazardness of kicking or kneeing or punching, sometimes landing an excruciating blow, (with the chance of his hospitalisation), other blows not landing effectively at all. I like preciseness.

      1. Mistress, you truly are a subs dream. I along with probably all subs would love to be at the feet of a true sadist like you.

        I understand regarding the ballbusting, I would imagine its a very powerful feeling seeing a slave fall to his knees before you.

        I also love how you revel in your sadistic tendencies, and your amazingly cruel imagination especially those vampire gloves, such an amazing mixture of pleasure and pain. You really are an amazing lady.

  4. Thank you for such a wonderful and insightful post. It was also challenging and all-knowing with its reference to how ” a weak, cowardly, detestable submissive may move into vanilla mode to then verbally attempt to get out of the punishment he genuinely fears.”

    This is indeed cowardly – and something I know would shatter my beautiful Queen’s dominance. In our early days of her loving dominance, as she ratcheted up her cruelty as my submission liberated her, I confess now that I would sometimes resist in this way – unconsciously perhaps in a hidden fear at the power I had unleashed and craved.

    The true symbiosis in this intense way of loving came when I was willing to suffer anything for her at her hands as I saw her dominance grow. This came to a head when my Queen decided I should be punished for the pain I had caused her by not submitting.

    She decided I deserved a judicial style caning that was to draw blood. She stopped caning me for 2 weeks prior to the date set and just practiced improving her speed and severity on a pillow, sometimes with me watching.

    “You will be feeling all of me – all my power very soon”, she would say as the strokes came down.

    I wanted to be tied down on the day of the punishment and we had set up a wooden trestle for that purpose, so I could not resist her. However, at the last minute my Perfect Queen had other plans and insisted I show bravery and submission by bending for her and staying in position by willpower as she thrashed me.

    It was a perfect variation and a perfect symbiosis of my need to submit and her need to dominate.

  5. She is magnificent – as you have kindly observed from previous comments on her treatment of me – as well as beautiful. So, yes, I am privileged indeed, and am aware of that every day.

    Yet may I return to your theme of symbiosis?

    Some years ago, as a pre-Pedestal drinks or dinner gathering (in the Old Street days), a sub man commented on how “lucky” I was to have such a Mistress. A very wise Mistress friend of ours pointed out that that no luck was involved at all. I got to this state of perfection, in her view, by being honest with myself and my beloved, then showed some long- term dedication to the practice of submission in ways that pleased her. In other words, in the symbiosis of the submissive/dominant relationship, I had expressed myself and served my dominant and that was enough to bring my Queen’s perfect dominance into flower.

    1. Hmmmm, I don’t really agree with that position. Firstly, because there are so many submissive males and so few women who are prepared to be properly dominant. So this supply and demand imbalance does mean all submissives who are being properly dominated by a woman are lucky.

      And it is that supply / demand imbalance that can be used as part of, or even the sole source of, the woman’s true power over the submissive male.
      I tell bitch-boy, (A) given he is submissive and can only be content, when helplessly in the power of a pitiless cruel dominant woman, he has to work hard and be obedient to keep me, as there are hundreds of other submissive males I could choose from who cannot find a dominant woman. And (B) I also say to him, given he is submissive and can only be content, when helplessly in the power of a pitiless cruel dominant woman, I used to say to him that I will dominate him my way, (even if he hates what I might like to do), or not dominate him at all.

      What I do agree with is that (C) many submissive males fail to ‘convert’ their wives to dominance because they fantasise exclusively about leather clad, thigh booted goddesses and all the dom/sub interactions being erotic, when the reality is a submissive male will need to be doing lots of tedious chores and be utterly unselfish and make sacrifices in all the relationship contexts, for a real dominance to flourish. And (D) many submissives try to be in control, (top from the bottom) over how they think dominance should be expressed and actioned, so the wife never experiences the addictive drug of real POWER and so never becomes dominant.

      You were indeed ticking boxes (C) and (D). I hope that all makes sense.

      For completeness, I see the definition of the symbiosis to simply be that: The submissive male craves to feel helplessly in the power of a pitiless cruel woman and The dominant woman is hooked on the addictive and arousing drug or using and abusing real power, over her male. So both parties is being nourished by the activities of the dominant using and abusing the submIssive.

      1. Thank you for such a thoughtful response, which makes perfect sense. I also agree with your wonderful definition of symbiosis which is quite perfect.

        My beloved also practises your points A and B with enthusiasm, reminding me she is able to generate a queue of handsome slaves to replace me at will, so I recognise those lines of argument too.

        I had a feeling you would not agree with this Mistress’s viewpoint, but did want to mention it because it came from someone of experience and wisdom as a dominant. So while I do recognise and respect your important point on numbers, another point she made was that, as a Mistress, good submissives are hard to find too! Her view was that out of every 10 would be slaves/submissives, it would be rare to find 1 or 2 who were even worth considering. 4 will be fantasists, 4 will be married etc.

        So while there may appear to be a wall of desperate slaves – and I am sure there is – the numbers able to serve or willing to do so under the sort of regime to which your own partner is subjected, for example, may be quite small in reality.

        1. Yep, but even if quite small, there are still more perfect submissive males available than dominant women, so I would say the luck, is just if you find a perfect one quickly.

          1. Agreed!

            And I remain in awe of my own perfect Mistress and what we share every day and
            a am aware of my good fortune – as well being in awe of you and what you share with bitch boy.

            With best wishes and thanks for your superb blog and writings.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s