On 8 August I posted about the critical requirement that the submissive male is genuinely frightened of punishment in order for the full benefits of dominant-submissive symbiosis to be gained. While perhaps not critical to symbiosis, a requirement for maximising symbiotic benefit is unreasonableness. The dominant being unreasonable. I will give some examples from my life shortly.

For me, and no doubt for some other Dommes, being unreasonable is very unnatural. Outside of the DS world I am a very reasonable person, so I had to actively work hard at being unreasonable in the early days. The rewards are however considerable; both in terms of a lovely power rush when being unreasonable and also in generating awe and helplessness in one’s submissive. It could be that being unreasonable can be equated to being unfair, but I think there is a subtle difference.

Example 1

The other day I had bitch-boy clean the toilets as I often do. The cleaning had to be perfect but also had to be done within a set time as I did not want him spending excessive time on the task to avoid punishment for imperfection. I had other things to do with him. I gave him a reasonable amount of time because I wanted the toilets cleaned properly – no unreasonableness yet. He approached me to advise that he had cleaned the toilets and I inspected the first and deemed it perfect, but I did mock him for having to spend some of his Saturday afternoon cleaning toilets. I inspected the second, and I noticed a tiny crevice the width of a hand in the design of the underside of the toilet lid I had never noticed before. I asked him if he had cleaned the tiny crevice. He looked surprised and anxious and answered no. The crevice did look totally inaccessible and I had never asked for it to be cleaned before.

I had a brainwave and told him to get a cotton bud which he did. The standard cotton bud was too think for the crevice so I told him to pull some cotton-wool from the bud thus making it smaller. It then fitted into the crevice and the small amount of dust within the crevice was removed. Now a reasonable me would have considered in all the circumstances, (the crevice did look totally inaccessible, I had never asked for it to be cleaned before, it took not just a cotton bud, but a cotton bud slimmed down), would have deemed no punishment was deserved. But I have learned to be unreasonable. My bitch was informed a thrashing was to be given forthwith for his sloppy cleaning. And once he was bound bent over, a serious thrashing was indeed given!

It was clear that he felt utterly, helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel dominant as a result of this unreasonableness and I got a very arousing power-rush from my conduct.

Example 2

He had gone the minimum required six weeks since his last orgasm, (which had not been enough to remove the frustration of the 18 week denial period that had proceeded it). He has been very, very good and impressed me over a week or so and so, at the beginning of a full-on DS day, I told him I would be bringing him to orgasm under the sole of my shoe at the end of the day as he had gone six weeks of denial and he deserved to. (The link takes you to an uncensored image.)

However, after about four hours of me using and abusing him, and six orgasms for me in that time, I began to feel a little unwell, so all DS activity was over for the day and I went to bed. That was not unreasonable; …….. really.

I felt fully recovered three days later and another full-on DS day began. After his deterrent punishment thrashing, I was about to subject him to an hour or so of teasing, (playing with his boy’s bits). He finds this a terrible, terrible tease, exacerbated hugely, if he knows he is not going to get to cum that day. As I was securing him, he timidly he asked if he would be getting to cum at the end of the day. I told him no he was not. This was unreasonable because, after all, he had been told three days ago he was going to get to come as he deserved to, which he respectfully mentioned. I told him I was in a generous mood when I intended to allow him to cum and I was not in such a generous mood today. I went on to say, I was in fact in a very spiteful mood and so he would not be getting to cum for at least another week. He was so, so sad. On a whim, ten days had been added to his six weeks denial period. Very unreasonable. But again, it was clear that he felt utterly, helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel dominant as a result of this unreasonableness and I got a very arousing power-rush from my unreasonable conduct.

So, ladies, please remember to be unreasonable with your submissive. They will hate it at the time, but when their head hits the pillow that night, they will sleep the contented sleep of a submissive that is in no doubt he is: helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel dominant.

11 thoughts on “Unreasonableness

  1. Hi! I just love both examples and the 2nd in particular! Even if you have been the sub for many years, if a domme says you are going to cum on a given day, you get a cheeky sense of entitlement! I agree it is not unreasonable to not follow through if either party is feeling poorly, but the poor sub will still be thinking “I am owed an orgasm”.

    To then delay by at least a further week would be excruciatingly unreasonable!

    Your blog is just wonderful.


      1. Another amazing blog, I would imagine the most hurtful and humilating punishments are just on your whim, not because he’s done anything wrong just because you feel like it, its so powerful and you must feel so aroused at having this sort of power. I love how you proudly describe yourself as a pitiless and cruel woman and can’t wait to hear your blog on when you take your slave shopping

  2. Dear Mistress Scarlet

    Long-time reader first-time commenter here! I had to comment, after this wonderful post. Unreasonableness or unfairness (are they the same?) are such a huge, huge part of the femdom relationship for me. Arbitrary power, exercised on a whim!

    I visit a pro-domme and early on I made the mistake (as I sometimes think – but I’m oddly pleased I did) of telling her how exciting I find it for her to be arbitrary and unreasonable. My very next visit, when I was pacing the streets near her location at two minutes before the hour (I always arrive early, to be on time), she sent me a text message demanding I buy her a pack of cigarettes. Obviously, the nearest shop was some minutes away, even at a run and I was more than five minutes late. Being late is unacceptable – as, she pointed out, I knew very well – and so she caned me. I should add that I do not enjoy the level of pain involved in a caning – it is ‘genuinely feared punishment’ for me.

    For the next session, I made sure I was equipped with a packet of cigarettes in advance. Of course, she did not demand any. But she did order me to light one of her own cigarettes at the start of the session, and of course ‘thoughtlessly and selfishly’ I did not have a lighter because I don’t smoke. It was the tawse that time, followed by my having to light her cigarettes with broken-off matches with no more than half an inch of wood, which can be scary and painful.

    Since those early days, Mistress has given up smoking, which is wonderful as her health should come first. It has not made her attitude any more reasonable, though.

    I do so enjoy your blog, Mistress Scarlet, thank you so much for sharing these glimpses of your happily cruel life.



    1. Can I ask the name of the pro-Domme? She sounds wonderful. I will not publish it if that is a preference but usually pro-Dommes like publicity of any sort. And thank you for the kind words.

      1. She is indeed wonderful, Ma’am. However, she has largely retired from the scene and has scrubbed her Internet presence, because it could harm her vanilla business. I see her occasionally and I still consider her my Mistress – and always will – because she was the first, but she is helping people in other ways these days.

        However, I would mention Goddess Serena (Gynarchy Goddess) as someone I have visited who has quite a similar vibe and can be wonderfully creative too.

  3. hello Ms Scarlet, as you have described with BB’s infrequent orgasms being on the table and then not, have you ever considered doing this on a much more selective and infrequent basis with regards to his BAV status e,g, for a special wedding anniversary or big birthday – or have you drummed into BB so much that his BAV status will never change, it wouldn’t work?

    1. Thank you although I have been pointed to these before. My reality is if there is time for him to spend in tedium suffering, the options I choose are all much worse for him, and thereby more pleasurable for me to enforce than these tests would be. Thank you though, I always want to be pointed to options as one never knows what gems might be suggested.

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