L’october chastity month

Well L’october chastity month is upon us again. Obviously for many puppets, like mine, it is an irrelevance. But for those submissives whose female partners have been playing at using a chastity device for a while, it is a possible chance to persuade her to try it more seriously, or at least for her to be informed about how many dominant women are rather stricter than she. And it is also a chance for the submissive to see if the reality is rather tougher than the fantasy. If any submissive successfully uses L’october to move their hesitant Domme forward, please share how that was achieved.

Returning to the issue of my puppet, I actually allowed him an orgasm under the sole of my shoe on Sunday. That was 12 weeks since the last orgasm and the pervious gaps, counting backwards, were 18 weeks and 17 weeks. There is a phenomenon I would like to share. My puppet in the last 10 days or so, was pretty much in tears each time I teased him with my body.

Not my body, but pretty much identical although my breasts are slightly smaller

He was far, far more frustrated and tortured than at the end of the previous two periods of denial. I wonder if this is because as we know, each orgasm after such a denial period, does not ‘clear the pipes’ so to speak. I am assuming something the hormone build-up is so great, one orgasm does not totally clear the build-up. He is fully submissive, like he did not cum, within 30 seconds of his orgasm.

https://msscarlet.bdsmlr.com/post/384744808 for an unedited photo.

It might instead be that I have become so very, very cruel and heartless over the last 18 months, somewhat blurring the boundary between DS time and vanilla time, that his feelings of submission to, and awe of, me evaporate any post orgasm loss of submissiveness. There has been discussion on this topic of post orgasm loss of submissiveness for some, on my blog in the past.

I let him cum earlier than the previous two times, because I want his pleading and begging and hopes during denial periods to be genuine, and if I simply kept increasing the periods, he would see little point in pleading earlier than the duration of the last denial period. And I would not wish to miss out on all that, near tearful, pleading, or the pleasure of leading him on a bit and then dashing his hopes. It was also a chance to check he now gets no submissive down-time at all after orgasm. As soon as he had stopped ejaculating, I looked into his eyes and told him what a filthy, disgusting creature he was making such a huge and vile mess, and to clean it all up and then kneel before where I sat and get his cage locked straight back on while I was bringing myself off, YET AGAIN. All I could see in his eyes was submissiveness and awe. I asked a couple of questions about how lucky he was to get to cum and how lucky he is to have me, given he is out of my league, dominate him, even though he now suffers so much. All I could see and hear was genuine submissiveness and awe.

Once I had had my sixth huge orgasm of the day, and he was all locked up, and I set him off on a few tasks, he meekly asked me if I was still persisting with the six week minimum denial period. I told that of course I was and the only way it will change is by being increased, which it will be sometime. It will never be reduced. The ratchet only works one way; like it has over the last two decades. He fell silent, obviously fearing another word might mean the increase happened there and then. Poor helpless puppet.

I was recently discussing this in my comments section with eric, who wrote: ‘…… But yes, an unerotic but full orgasm which removes all submissiveness and then continuing with the treatment without mercy is extremely cruel. Because as I said it feels if you really do not want this and you ask yourself how you landed in this nightmare. You feel like a completely different person and think only idiots would allow this. But then it is too late and you cannot do anything about this, which makes you kind of feeling angry about the other person and very sorry for you. Because immediately following an orgasm, you do not even have left your fetish for dominant women. However, later, if the submission builds up again, these memories are more intense than the other things you really do not like, but could at least “enjoy” with your submissive attitude. And as said before it happened to me the first time I could not even imagine of such a possibility. I also only know two accounts writing about this. One is your linked post and the other I cannot find again, but I know I read about it once elsewhere. So it does not seem to be a common practice……’

I think there is an irony with bitch-boy that from his recent experiences in the past, the fact that I am doing something dominant immediately after he has cum when I know he could have lost his submissiveness, AND THAT I DO NOT CARE ABOUT THAT, or even, that I AM ENJOYING THAT POSSIBILITY, engulfs him in submissiveness immediately, rather than, as is eric’s experience, the phenomenon eventually has him seriously in awe of his Mistress, but only after his submissiveness returns in a few days. If bitch-boy’s awe and worship does come, in part, from my total indifference as to whether he is feeling submissive during these moments, perhaps I should get crueller immediately after he has cum. The possibility it would be a lot for him to endure does of course attract me and my sadistic drives too. There is only one way to find out!

There is a great deal of ‘mess’. His filth builds up and he releases a lot of it! I don’t think I can wait until all is cleaned up, that might be too late for me to be sure he gets not even a moment of loss of submissiveness. So, it will have to be something to do with his head before I have released his hands. I am open to suggestions. At the moment I am thinking, while I am berating him for his filth mess, and instructing him to clean himself off and then to kneel at my feet to lock his cage on while I masturbate;

  • slapping his face, and / or,
  • pressing my wedge shoe down onto his throat, and / or,
  • dropping a very large mouthful of spit onto his face or into his mouth, and/or,
  • perhaps my favourite, carefully tipping my neat urine from a jug into his mouth. (I will have to remember to put an old towel under his head at the outset. It could get messy), and / or
  • probably the worst, but it may be difficult, using a large spoon to collect his filth from the surface of the platform and feed it to him. (So cruel, so it is my favourite option.)

Now we come to a downside for me of my current regimen. I will have to wait SIX WEEKS minimum, and probably somewhat longer, before I can try this out! Us poor Dommes really do have to endure endless irritations!

45 thoughts on “L’october chastity month

  1. I am not locked but I am teased and denied multiple times a day. My wife allowed an orgasm on September 29th, but now I can’t ask for another for the rest of the year.

    1. And any time immediately after your last orgasm that you did not feel submissive, and if yes how long?
      Your wife seems to be wonderfully dominant. Are you in awe of her?

  2. Since I’m older, I have sub drop that lasts for a few days, and my wife does not like it one bit. Yes I am in awe of her, I can’t do enough for her. I love the feeling of being in a constant state of submission, even more than the few seconds of extreme pleasure of an orgasm.

  3. Absolutely exquisite post! Great way to start my morning. Thanks for sharing, I’m attempting L’october with my Wife. It’s been a tough five days.. haha

  4. I was experiencing extended chastity play with one of my former Mistresses. She kept me chaste over a period of six month and only released me for ONE orgasm every four to six weeks. I was 33 years old back then. The one orgasm always had to be provided by my own hands. I had a time limit of 45 seconds with the timer starting directly after unlocking.

    This one orgasm always was a huge release for me, but it never even felt even close to the intensity that I normally experience with an orgasm, let alone penetrative sex (which I was not allowed with my Mistress or anyone else at that time). The one orgasm felt more like the pale “copy-of-a-copy” version of an orgasm and my Mistress used to call them “slave boi orgasms” which were the only ones she granted me ever.

    I was highly frustrated after each of those orgasms, since I was basically just reminded how a “real” orgasm felt in the past. When my Mistress and I parted, I learned that the second orgasm after the first “slave boi orgasm” nearly felt as good as a “real” one. But only the next day my orgasms felt normal again.

    She and I stayed friends, so she told me later that she only granted me this one orgasm from time to time, since it increased my torture only more, since I was reminded of how orgasms could feel. I agree with her that things would have been less torturous, if she would have never had let me orgasm during those six month.

    The phenomenon of “sub-drop” is something I only experienced a few times on days that follow a day with lots of pain play. Then the next day I can be very depressed. It feels very unnatural and as if my body burned all “chemicals” to create happiness.

    I guess it´s again a question of terminology of what one calls “sub-drop”. If we talk about a decrease in submissiveness after having an orgasm, then I must admit that right after an orgasm I have this feeling that I would wish all restraints and/or costumes to be removed. But this quickly fades in case my Mistress simply keeps me chained/dressed up. I still feel very submissive and more frustrated than BEFORE the orgasm. Because before the orgasm I could have the hope that soon there will be an orgasm and that this time it would feel like in “the old days”. But right after release the realization of the fact that this “slave boi orgasm” is all I will ever get and that I will never penetrate a woman again … that is a crushing feeling. After this kind of orgasm I realize that there is nothing to look for and that even the tiniest form of release is now again weeks away.

    It was a great time, but her moving back to the states and me being Europe based, made it not possible for us to continue. Also I was missing the feeling of having a real life partner at my side and not “just” a Mistress.

    Now I found the love of my life and she is also a femdom. She could be much more strict with me, but that is a story for another time.

    1. Thank you.
      Your reference to sub drop after a day with lots of pain play, was nothing to do with having an orgasm?

      When you write, ‘…..But this quickly fades …’ do you mean minutes?

      1. To add my 2 cents into this conversation, I’ve never heard of next day sub-drop. Although, similar to party drugs, this could be your body recovering from an extreme dopamine rush. Out of curiosity for OP, were any substances taken prior to your sessions?

        The sub-drop theory immediately after or sometimes even during an orgasm, is very much real.

  5. Wonderful post. I am actually surprised you don’t already make bb eat his cum already. This seems like a common requirement for many Doms after granting an orgasm. And it’s also absolutely disgusting and humiliating, to the point where knowing you have to eat your cum after orgasm makes wanting an orgasm really troubling mentally. I have passed on the opportunity to cum because I didn’t want to eat my cum afterwards. Love your blog.

    1. I used to do this from time to time, but I don’t at the moment, because it disgusts ME to ‘handle’ the filth in any way. LOL. But I am prepared to get involved in the scenario.

  6. I know I would hate eating my filth, but I’ve always hoped for a Mistress who would enjoy forcing me to do so.

  7. Mistress ,
    I was a serial Masturbator and breaking that habit was the most difficult part of my training . I can’t be locked for professional reasons . My lack of submissiveness after orgasm was always an issue . It almost completely disappeared and took time to return . Sometimes a day or so . However my “ dolly treats “ are now restricted to every 6 to 8 weeks depending on my behavior and her mood . Now there is maybe a few second “ sub drop “ but it is fleeting . There is definitely something in the theory that you can’t clear the system if orgasms are so spread out ☺️

  8. I suspect that the reason BB “recovers” his submissive state so quickly is the random nature of the “reward”. There is a lot of research on training that highlights how effective the use of random punishment or reward. I suspect that “knowing” six weeks is a minimum gap is less effective than making the reward random even if he has an orgasm less frequently.

    1. I don’t understand what you mean by the random nature of the “reward”.
      My supposition is not that BB “recovers” his submissive state so quickly because of him knowing six weeks is a minimum gap. My supposition is that BB “recovers” his submissive state so quickly because (A) as we know, each orgasm after such a denial period, does not ‘clear the pipes’ and that I have become so very, very cruel and heartless over the last 18 months, that his deep feelings of submission to, and awe of, me evaporate any post orgasm loss of submissiveness.

  9. Hello, my darling Scarlet.

    Very nice topic for Locktober and you wrote some things that we all think about and have dilemmas on how to proceed so that our relationship and our slave’s submission deepens.
    In general, your tactics as expressed in this quote are very clever.

    “let him cum earlier than the previous two times because I want his pleading and begging and hopes during denial periods to be genuine, and if I simply kept increasing the periods, he would see little point in pleading earlier than the duration of the last denial period”.

    My slave had his last orgasm in June after 18 long months of being kept in total celibacy.
    Next time, however, he will experience a pleasant surprise as his orgasm will come much sooner.
    Objectively this cannot happen in Locktober, nor in NOvember, and of course, not in DEcember but at the beginning of 2022, just 6 months after the last orgasm.
    Yes, I feel generous! LOL
    Here the difference in status and the relativity of time immediately becomes apparent. As we learned in school, time is a relative concept.
    For me to live a week without an orgasm is something I don’t remember when or if I experienced it. So it would be a living hell for me after a week without an orgasm.
    For my slave to live 6 months without orgasm compared to the previous 18 months is a blessing and he will feel that his life is heaven.

    To answer one of your questions after discussing it with the “worm”.
    Indeed his period of reversion to submission has drastically decreased in recent years. It used to take a few days even up to a week of time to feel fully submissive again. This gradually decreased and at present, it takes less than a day.
    I used to allow him to orgasm at night and then he would fall into a deep sleep.
    In the last couple of orgasms I allowed him, I used another tactic that I think is working and bringing him back to submission much faster.
    I allowed him to orgasm in the early afternoon.
    As soon as he ejaculated I would order him to clean up with his tongue and swallow the mess he had made straight off the floor, then put the cage back.
    Then I would send him straight to work with a long list of chores. Sure the list included a few errands he had to do on a specific schedule so he had the stress and pressure of time and his mind was focused on his tasks that way.
    I think this helped him to understand that his orgasm is not something special but in fact, for me, it is a chore that he just performs among the other chores I assign him.
    I hope this makes sense because I don’t know if I expressed my thoughts well in English.

  10. You asked about my experience with what I call sub drop. Which has nothing to do with my submissive mindset at all, but seems to be a biological reaction to the amount body chemicals used up in an intensive (pain) session. This results in me feeling sometimes depressed the next day. It artificially alters my emotional state.

    Everything is seen through a depressive lense then (does my Mistress love me? Isn´t this weather actually bad weather? I think I hate my job. I think my hobbies are a waste of time. Everything is suddenly seen from a negative perspective by me. Luckily I know its just the body hemicals messing with my mind and nothing of those feelings is real by any means.

    I never had an orgasm in any of those intense sessions. But they made my “fly” and insanely happy (in the end). Right after the session I am super “high” and do not even care about orgasm or not, since the wonderful pain and intense degradation lifts me way beyond any orgasmic feeling. It is much much better than any orgasm. I think it is because of the high levels of endorphins produced during such a session that I feel like that. I must research it, but I think endorphin is not restored right away by the body and therefore sub-drop might happen.

    And … NO … I do not consume substances during a session or before or after or anyhow related to BDSM activities. I drink some champaign sometimes, but not for sessions.

    You also asked how fast my loss of submissiveness (as in “oh no, please unchain me, please remove this mask, let me take off those sissy cloth, let me out of the cage/body bag/ cell …etc.”) after an orgasm is gone. It only takes like 10-15 minutes to get over this. I think it is caused by another body chemical. I assume it probably is due to the oxytocin that is released during the orgasm. I found this statement: “An increased infusion of the hormone oxytocin during ejaculation is believed to be chiefly responsible for the male refractory period, and the amount by which oxytocin is increased may affect the length of each refractory period.” (https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antidiuretisches_Hormon).

    This theory matches what I found here: “Men usually must undergo a refractory period, or recovery phase, during which they cannot achieve another erection. This period is variable in men, says Ingber. In an 18-year-old, this is typically less than 15 minutes. In elderly men, it can be up to 10 to 20 hours. The average refractory period is about half an hour.” (https://www.everydayhealth.com/sexual-health/the-male-orgasm.aspx)

    Since BDSM is 100% a sexual activity for me, I assume that the short refractory period in which I am all “asexual” is the time span in which I am all “not submissive”.

    So my conclusion is that the “one type of sub-drop” right after an orgasm is caused by oxytocin emission and the “other type of sub-drop” on the next day after a pain session is the lack/withdrawal of endorphine.

    Also it might be important where the submissiveness is based on. With my play Mistresses I was “submissive” to them only during our sessions and we had no contact apart from that. So it was based on me being in a sexual mindset. Now with my loved life partner Mistress I am not “submissive” to her during the day because of sexual things, but because I love her and I want to treat her like the princess she is in my eyes. Something I also did with every vanilla partner before.

    Apart from that pain and hard humiliation is awesome, but it is no “life style” to me. It is a highly pleasurable sexual activity. Calling it a “lifestyle” would be the same as if a vanilla man would say “blowjobs are my lifestyle”. That simply makes no sense, since it mixes up the levels. Like a hammer is a tool, but for sure not a lifestyle. Being a true craftsman could be a life style.

    I hope I could contribute a bit with my very personal perspective and theories. BDSM is a very complex and complicated field with lots of factors to consider. I guess that is what makes it so awesome. Its like a full Mozart concert compared to its vanilla cousin which is like a children song played on a flute.

    1. Thank you. Interesting.
      I guess given bitch-boy has zero refractory period, the issue of his orgasms being months apart, seems to come into play and any oxytocin that may be in him is overruled either by other hormones or chemicals, or overruled by his psychological conditioning.

  11. I read a story once( i hope it was true) where a mistress told her slave he could cum, but would have to spend the evening outside for the privilege and eat up all the cum, it was winter and had been snowing, as the slave was thinking about the offer, mistress just touched the tip of his cock with the toe if her boot and the slave became so aroused he immediately agreed. As he approached climax mistress dug both heels into his balls and ruined his orgasm as he came onto her boots, he licked clean the filth from her boots, she then took him outside to a dog kennel and the slave kissed her boots and thanked her. She then lay in bed thinking about the slaves suffering and had the most wonderful orgasm. Is this something that you would enjoy mistress?

    1. Well I don’t see the need for him to cum at all for me to get my pleasure from the scenario. A problem though is that getting very cold is proven to lower the immune system so I do not want my puppet to get very cold and then ill.
      Sleeping in my comfy bed while he slept in an uncomfortable dog kennel on a warm summer night is appealing though.

      1. Yes, its much more cruel to not allow hom to cum. I love if how you are really pitiless, I suppose if your puppy gets ill you can’t play with him so would ruin your fun. I love the lone about your boot on his throat, that must feel soooo powerful, do you enjoy him begging you?

          1. I can imagine the feeling of total and utter power as the sole of your boot rests on his neck, and how petrified bitch boy is must turn you on. May I respectfully suggest you could make him cum in a ice cube tray and freeze it for tasty treats

            1. Something I did routinely in the past but of course now it is not often that his filth is available. I still have the same problem of scooping it from the surface of the stomping stage to do as you suggest.

              1. I’m sorry Mistress, I suppose having him lick his cum from your shoes is arousing enough for you. I love the thought of you just sat watching TV looking so amazingly beautiful and just a wave comes through your body and you think I want to punish bitch boy, not for any mistakes or errors, just purely because you want to, and can do whatever you please.

                1. Yep.
                  He craves domination like all natural submissives. He craves to live helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel dominant woman. I have agreed to be that woman, but doing 100% what I want, and he takes it all, or gets no domination. He has made his choice. I have 100% power, he has none.

                  1. Mistress, you are beyond amazing, I didn’t think women like you existed. Powerful, beautiful, intelligent and so dominant, you are my dream.

      2. The dog kennel idea sounds super sexy! Would love to read a post about this. I know I’m such a newbie in this D/s world, but I experience sub drop a little after orgasming. Since my Wife let’s me cum at night, I’m generally recovered, by the morning. Sometimes however I feel my attentiveness diminish. I’ve come to realize also now, that the tease and denial is more pleasurable than the orgasm. My Wife insists I cum ever 3-4 days, but I so badly want to go a week or two.

          1. No Mistress. I am only 26 years old. Also I become annoying and needy after 3 days. Humping her leg, randomly kissing her feet, just being a puppy.

            1. ‘……but I so badly want to go a week or two……’
              But you clearly don’t do you.
              ‘….become annoying and needy after 3 days. Humping her leg, randomly kissing her feet, just being a puppy….’

              1. I want to, but having the self control and the dedication is something I lack clearly. I have good intentions, but that only paved the road to hell…

  12. Wonderful post Mistress, hope you can give me some advice. From the last 12 months I had a d/s relationship with a dominant woman and we both fell in love at the beginning. Unfortunately in the last few months things went south for us. I became kinda numb from my feelings about her, but did my best to carry on being a domestic slave at her house (she is in complete lockdown because of Covid). We live at separate homes and when I was alone I didn’t felt submissive as I am under her presence. She Insisted In daily rituals like like record a video saluting her (naked) and I did this as a task but not from my heart. The straw that broke me was on our first anniversary when she was a little intoxicated and broke some glasses while I was mummified (a thing that I enjoy very much). We consume a lot of legal and illegal substances when together and that crosses the line of SSC. Last week I decided to end the relationship because of all that happened. All my feelings described here where informed to her. She acted like a 5 year old girl and didn’t accept the end, which made me ask for some time to think about it. She has another slave and that doesn’t bother me, I just don’t want contact with him. She Insists I became friends with this man. I really do not know what to do from now. Hope you can use your experience to give some advice.

    1. You made a huge error by not being honest and authentic. If recording a daily video saluting her (naked) did not make you feel submssive, it was your duty to diplomatically tell her this. You need to tell her that and apologise for that.

      I do not understand why her barking some glasses while you were mummified, was the last straw for you??

      You can say that it is a hard limit for you, that you have no contact with the other man. That is non-negotiable because it stops you feeling submissive.

      What outcome from where you are now do you want?

      1. Thank you very much for your reply. I suspect she was under influence of some substance when she mummified me, that made me fear for my safety. She broke two glasses and burned me accidentally with the cigarette.

        The salute and the tracking app (life360) where always limits for me but she repeteadely brought it on table. I complied to satisfy her.

        Not sure about the outcome but I feel really unsafe now. I want to be clean from substances and I’m afraid can’t do this while involved to her, on the other side I’m insecure if I can find another domme.

        Thank you again for your reply and sorry to bother you with my personal problems. You just seem to know so much about the aspects of a d/s relationship that made me beg for some advice.

        Respectfully

        1. I would say you put on the table all hard limits that are non-negotiable. (one being no DS if drugs, or much alcohol have been taken. Explain when a hard limit has been breached you do not feel submissive to her and anyway without breaching the hard limits, there still is loads of scope for her to get great pleasure from dominating you. Ask surely it is worth her experimenting with the hard limits in place for a month or two? If she refuses, walk away.

  13. Dear miss
    May i suggest an easy approach would be to collect his cum in a cup and feed from there. You could possibly make him shoot his load into the cup and punish him for each drop he missed.

  14. so 47 weeks, plus the 6 week minimum rule, BB will just 3 cums in the space of a year! no wonder he is always in awe of you! wow!

  15. I have been locked now for just over 54 weeks, in that time I have cum twice – both times ruined. The Lady who is my Mistress has made it very clear to me that my sexual pleasure is of absolutely NO interest to her – only hers matters and that is with others. This Lady is actually an escort who I approached with the question of whether she would be interested in a slave – I am her only one. Whilst I love that I am kept like this I confess that I DO regret introducing her to chastity play!

    1. Interesting. My main issue with ‘travel whips’ though, is how quiet is the impact? That is why my current ‘travel whip’ preference is my agitation whip.
      Notwithstanding that, I may get bitch-boy to make a whip like in the video and see how loud the impacts are. Thank you.

  16. Mistress Scarlet. I’m aware I am behind on this but I find the idea of an immediate unpleasant follow up to ejaculation intriguing.

    As a suggestion, you could have bitch boy hold a sports style drinks bottle near the end of his defect during a release session, with a strict instruction to catch all of his emission. This would have a sideline benefit of reducing his orgasm pleasure by having to concentrate on positioning the bottle whilst also catching it all mess free

    You could then immediately pour (or have him pour) a quantity of undiluted nectar from a pre-prepared jug into the bottle, shake it up and then immediately remove the lid and drink down the nectar/cummy mixture?

    Quick, simple, deeply humiliating and also likely due to remove orgasm pleasure due to his need to concentrate?

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