Two things

Update on the post of May 29.

Further to my previous post on this topic, As of today, he has gone over 12 weeks, not just without an orgasm, but without even an erection.

Now we have some nice weather, that miserable state for him is made worse because, like during the full-on DS day yesterday, I spend a good deal of time, naked but for my seven-inch heeled platform shoes and my gold waist chain on which hangs the little keys to his chastity tube and other fetters. Oh, and my very narrow, perfect Brazilian. I also like to do full make-up and hair on such days. Though I say so myself, I look a million dollars $$$$$$$$$$. He is truly almost in tears when I add some ‘posing’ to how I look! One of the four things he must recite after he has been Mistress’s Little Helper each time I have had a massive orgasm, is, ‘Thank you for sharing your physical sexual arousal Mistress, so I don’t have to have any physical sexual arousal.

I can see just how tormented he is, not even being allowed an erection, while his sexual denial frustration is soooo intense and he is faced with such arousal sources! He looks like I imagine he feels; utterly helpless and totally impotent.

Silent blog followers – send me your lifestyle regimens

Quite often, I have periods of being pleasantly overwhelmed by full or partial accounts sent to me describing the lifestyles of those in a DS relationship, or describing a past DS relationship. Sometimes these come from the sub, sometimes, and most popular, from the Domme. This post is an invitation if it is a while since you have sent me anything, or if you have never sent me anything.

I began this blog because my original inspirations for my own lifestyle both effectively dried up and I could find nothing else on the web that was primarily dominant women corresponding on REAL LIFE domination. I wanted vanilla women to be reading such material as I had from dominant women loving their lives by dominating their submissive life-partner and describing what they did in this regard. The two sources of material were; Madame magazine (a hardcopy) publication and, which changed ownership and the content became irrelevant.

55 thoughts on “Two things

  1. My dominant has allowed orgasms every 4 or 5 days. I long for the days when no matter how much I begged, the answer was NO. When I am denied, I am her sub and slave and all I want is a chance to lick her pussy and ass. All I want is my pee and messy treats every day.

    1. Have you asked your dominant why she is so generous?
      Does she know all the evidence is that, a minimum of a three week gap, means permanent frustration as full frustration returns within half an hour of orgasm?

      1. Yes, she loves it when I am so horny I can’t stand it, but she also loves for me to lick up my cum after an orgasm. After yesterday, she said that was it…no more orgasms.

  2. Thank you for the update Ms Scarlet. I don’t know if you remember but I left a comment on your last post on this topic about how I’m keeping my bitch orgasm free till yours gets one. Ever since, I have seen him regularly check your blog hoping for updates, lol. He was so disappointed today when he informed me of your latest update, it’s been around 7 weeks without an orgasm for him and its probably the longest he has ever gone without one ever in his life. His begging for release has really grown in sincerity and frequency and that makes it even more fun to say NO to his face.

    P.S. I’d love to write about a day in our lives and bitch’s daily regimen. Writing about his ‘forever virgin’ status last time was rather fun and it involved me teasing him a lot about the things he finds deeply humiliating that’d be included in the account. Should I write it as a comment on this post?

    P.P.S. This is slightly out of topic but I think this might interest you, I’ve read a few blog posts from you in the past where you talk about femdom depiction in modern pop culture. I don’t know if you are aware of it but there’s a show called ‘The Boys’ (it’s quite good and is on Amazon Prime Video) whose latest season has had quite a few such scenes. It’s one of the biggest shows in the world right now and it was a bit of a thrill to see them. I must add that the show is quite heightened and fantastical, so the scenes are not really grounded.

    1. Thank you for the comment.
      I feel privilege and amused that I am withholding orgasm from two puppets at the same time!
      I will send you my email address for you to send me an account of a day in your lives.
      I will have a look at ‘The Boys’. Thank you for the tip.

      1. To be fair it is my bitch who’s the most lucky that this time he has not one but two dominant women sort of deciding when his birth defect gets some attention. Way more than a slave deserves!
        I don’t know how I can get your email address though, is it on the blog somewhere?

        1. You are so right. How many subs would dream of being dominated by TWO amazing Dommes! Seems like such a treat it should be balanced off with a harsh punishment so he does not feel spoiled.
          I tried emailing your emial registered with WordPress, using two different emails I have, and each got returned to sender?????

          1. That is an excellent idea. My bitch is still at work, I’ll inform him of his punishment when he comes home. Maybe 10-15 minutes of belt whipping once as soon as he arrives and one more time before bed tonight. Just so that he doesn’t get spoiled of course!

            My bad Ms Scarlet. Just realized I typed a digit less in the email id the first time I commented and that got saved. Can you please send it one more time? Thank you.

  3. Hello Ms Scarlet,

    I am so happy to have found your blog. You had some archives posted that I was hunting for in my own research and discovered your blog on the process.

    I am in an FLR and will soon be embarking on a TPE journey with my fiance/owner. We have similar interests in history preservation and lifestyle choices.

    Would love to share a bit of our journey but we also have some projects starting up you may be interested in as well. Is there a preferred method of private correspondence? I can’t seem to find one.

  4. Thank You for Your very generous invitation to male subs and slaves to discuss the regime they live under.

    i am currently unowned, although i do longed to be owned again, to be trained by and to nearby to serve, a very strict dominant woman again.

    My previous Owner kept my caged 24/7. Release from my tube for cleaning, shaving and inspection occurred weekly with my Owner always wearing heavy rubber gloves. She did permit any flag to come in contact with what She referred to as the gristle that hangs between my legs. She was very capricious regarding when i was released to spill my filth, but I never averaged more than 4 orgasms per year while She owned me. Every orgasm i was allowed was ruined and i was required to eat my issue after each session. i never once entered Her and She regularly explained to me that while She owned me i would never be sexually pleased by any woman in any fashion.

    Humbly Yours;

    slave mark

    1. Thank you for your comment. Some questions.
      ‘…..She did permit any flag to come in contact…….’ What does this mean?
      How many orgasms did she have per week and how were they generated?
      Did you do all the chores and housework?
      Did you receive punishments and if so, what type?
      Were you put into shame clothing?
      Did any third parties know about your FLR?
      Did you live with her?

      1. Dear Ms Scarlet;

        my deepest apologies; i meant o write that She permitted no flesh to come in contact with my gristle.

        She had a minimum of 20 orgasms per week. Many of these were administered orally by me, others were through masturbation with an hitachi wand, after disciplining me or turning me into what she described as human art.

        i did all the chores and housework, heated Her car, ran Her errands and such.

        i received a weekly discipline session to keep me in my place and was otherwise punished for failure to properly complete any instructions to Owner’s satisfaction. My Owner enjoyed using a variety of canes, an agitation whip, electricity, floggers, deep heat to my gristle, face slapping and other forms of corporal punishment.

        A variety of Her friends knew of our FLR. i was loaned to them for domestic and sexual service.

        i lived with Her for roughly two of the the four years we were together.

      2. Dear Ms Scarlet;

        i am very sorry for the typo. I meant to write that my Owner did not permit flesh to come into contact with my penis. i was, in fact a BAV.

        Owner experienced a minimum of 20 orgasms per week. The majority of these were the result of my performing oral on Her. Otherwise She used Her hitachi wand.

        i did live with Her for the second half of the four years that we were together. These were the most arduous years of my life, and i Miss them.

        i did all the chores and house work.

        i wasn’t dressed in shame clothing oer se, but i was not permitted to wear male undergarments. my Owner preferred t-backs and G-strings for me.

        Several of Her closest friends knew of our FLR. i was occasionally loaned out to one such friend, for domestic and sexual duties.

  5. Hello! Your blog has helped me significantly in my current d/s relationship and I thought I’d take some time to thank you by sharing my story! I am a young (23 y/o) and still pretty novice Domme. My current sub, Princess, who is a 27 y/o male, found a post of yours one day about chastity and orgasm denial. He was giddy and so excited when he showed me the post and I reciprocated interest. It took a lot of trial and error and writing rules and re-writing them, but after two years we’ve finally found a balance in our dynamic that is really starting to flourish.

    We are currently long distance, but our day to day is so full at times that I barely notice. Princess has been tasked with many things to keep his mind always focused on me, such as sending me texts every hour on the hour, no touching or orgasms unless I’m the one that gives them, and financial rewards and punishments that are all focused on me. When we are together, Princess works from home, so he is in charge of all the household chores. He feeds me breakfast in bed, packs my lunch for work, and has dinner ready for me by the time I come home. Our heavy d/s days are on the weekend when we are both off. He wakes me up every Saturday and Sunday with his mouth, a warm bath and breakfast ready for me shortly after. The days are spent mostly lounging around and relaxing while Princess finishes the laundry. I do keep him in a cage from time to time, but I enjoy his pain much more when he is able to get hard but unable to do anything about it. I am particularly interested in extending his denial periods so he only has a few orgasms each year. So far we’ve made it to three month increments and I’ve learned in the process to become very restrictive with the things that I tell him because I’ve found, and after reading your blog, that the pain of him not knowing when or if he’ll ever get to cum again gives me significantly more joy.

    I think the most important things I really pulled from your blog are about your journey of becoming a relentless and certain Domme. I very rarely have moments now where I find myself pitying Princess and wanting to give him lenience. You spoke of the increased liberation and freedom you gained as you realized your dominance really had no bounds and every day I feel as if I am getting closer and closer to fully understanding your feelings. I do still struggle with being truly selfish, but in those moments where he’s genuinely vulnerable and irrevocably submissive I no longer find myself worried about his pain or pleasure, I truly barely think of him at all. In those moments all I can feel is pride and what I can only describe as true, genuine happiness. In those moments I am in awe of how sexy I am, how amazing and truly wonderful I can be and it’s such a high that I never knew existed! Princess tells me now more than ever that he loves when I’m unrelenting and selfish, he loves my confidence and it leaves him in awe and leaves him wanting to worship me like I am truly a Goddess. So thank you, for all of your advice, it has helped and will continue to help way more than you will ever know!

    xx Hunter

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words, they warm my heart as almost all I do on the web is aimed at making more ‘vanilla’ women very comfortable with dominating their submissive male. There are so many fewer Dommes to male subs it is only fair as many of them as possible get to be a real salve and toy.
      I see being selfish as no more than I deserve and he deserves, and it ticks his submissive boxes, not at the time, but when his head hits the pillow at sleep time.
      Some questions if that is OK:
      Are you in the UK?
      Is he punished for infractions and if so how, and is he ‘punished’ just because you can and if so how?
      Do you enjoy lots of sexual satisfaction on a regular basis?
      Thank you again for a great comment.

  6. Hi mistress Scarlet it has been quite some time since we spoke maybe 6-7 months and their have been significant change in regime. I’d be greatful if you could drop me an email so I can update you as it’s way too much to post in the comments.

  7. Dear Mistress Scarlett,

    Our lifestyle may be of some interest to your readers, it is still developing, since I introduced my partner to your guide & blog a few years ago. At this time I shall not go into how we got here, just how life is now.

    I am kept locked in a chastity device as much as is practically possible, sometimes due to my work, I am allowed to have days off, but I am not allowed to orgasm, ever.
    I have been orgasm free for just over two years & do not expect this to change any time soon.

    I am responsible for the housework & have to do this, to the highest standards, in sissy maid attire, if faults are found the whole days work must be redone. Fortunately this is very infrequent, as on the occasions standards have slipped, L makes sure that the second go is far harder than the first, by adding restrictive chains, a butt plug & gag.

    On a day to day basis I have a strict set of rules to live by, and am subjected to weekly tedious tasks, these are long enough to require work every evening & must be done while dressed as a little girl.
    Breaking the rules, failing to progress tasks enough etc result in me recieving harsh punishments. These include things like, whipping, hours of sensory deprivation being strung up on spreaders with nettles in my knickers…

    L likes to keep me extremely submissive & we have discovered over the years that locking me in sissy dresses is the most effective way to do this, so I spent a lot of my free time like this.
    When dressed I have to mince, holding my skirts out at my sides & curtsying whenever entering an occupied room, or if L enters a room I am in, I must stop whatever I am doing and curtsey. A couple of weeks ago I forgot one curtsey & was subjected to 20 minutes of filmed curtsying practice per evening for a week, this footage is to be joined up & played back to me in one go over the weekend.

    L likes sex, I have to satisfy her using whether she is in the mood for, be it my hands, tongue, toys, or penetrating her with a strap on. I particularly hate the latter, as it reminds me of everything she has taken from me.

    I am very lucky to have found someone who has embraced this lifestyle & accepted me for the submissive I am. Your writings have given her the confidence to take control & make sure I am kept well & truly in my place.



    1. You are correct that you have found such a Mistress. And I am so pleased that my work has in some way helped her become what an amazing cruel dominant woman she now is.
      Some questions if that is OK.
      Are you in the UK?
      No orgasms ever. How does that make you feel and her feel?
      You write, ‘.. if faults are found the whole days work must be redone. … L makes sure that the second go is far harder…‘ How does that make you feel?
      What are the tedious tasks?

      1. Yes we are in the UK, in the Midlands.

        I would very much like to be allowed an orgasm, but L has decided that I’m not allowed any. This was in part due to me experiencing a severe drop in submissiveness post orgasm.
        I had been denied orgasms for 18 months when L announced that it was to become permanent, I was crushed, I never expected such cruelty. She very much likes reminding me that “little sissy’s aren’t aloud sexual relief.”

        The knowledge that I’ll have to redo everything if it’s not good enough is normally enough to make sure it’s perfect. Having had to scrub the floors with a toothbrush with a humbler on, because they were not mopped well enough, on top of redoing the dusting, vacuuming etc is a pretty good deterrent. I am always very nervous when the inspection takes place, because even though I check everything multiple times sometimes I still miss the odd thing. Sometimes L seems delighted to find a few faults.

        Tasks have been various over the years, from thousands of lines, to jigsaws. I hate jigsaws, especially as sometimes I get home to find large sections I had done have been dismantled. Sewing miles of lace trim onto things, which eventually became petticoats for me to wear was very humiliating on several levels, having to spend hours, in a dress, at the sewing machine, assisting with making more humiliating clothing was probably the worst task so far.

  8. Dear Mistress Scarlet,

    Our beginning in chastity was so much tamer than anything that I’ve read on your blog.

    I was headed off on a business trip. She did not want me to go. I had made the plans without asking her. She was so upset .. so I not only promised to check with her in the future, but I promised to get her permission before planning any trips.

    She was still unhappy. Likely because on previous trips (long before this, back when I was not a good husband) I had cheated on her. Apparently, this upcoming trip triggered some bad memory, and for that I was very sorry. So I volunteered to wear a cock cage on my trip. That helped ease her mind a little bit. By the second or third day on my trip, I was trapped. Done. Kaput. I wanted nothing else but to wear that damned thing for her for the rest of my life. I couldn’t think of anything else than serving and obeying her.

    At that point, I had never gone even 2 days without masturbating, and this was a week long trip. By the time I got home, I was an owned, enslaved man.

    And it’s only gotten better since then.

    1. Thank you for the comment.
      Please fill us in on how you are now an owned enslaved man?
      How it has gotten ‘better’ since then?
      And how do each of you feel about your current situation.

      1. Frankly, it’s a bit of an addiction. Since then, things have continued to change. She just slowly wraps me around her finger, more and more. At some point, I promised to never have an orgasm without her (masturbate) again, ever. I promised to respect her decisions regarding when and how we have sex. I promised to never bother her about sex again. I promised to obey her completely. I promised to accept whatever punishment she chooses, and to thank her for the punishment.

        She only rarely punishes me. I probably could use a little bit more, but most of the time I am now perfectly behaved, and I lovingly obey her, and just want to become a better and better husband.

        I have gone from never being content with anything, ever, to being completely content with her, and so completely grateful that I am hers. I have gone from being grumpy and seldom pleased, to being grateful and content and joyful serving her. It’s as shocking of a change as it sounds.

        And she is blooming. She knows that she owns me, and that I completely adore and worship her. She knows that she has the final word on everything, and she feels respected and honored by me. And that has made a huge difference in our marriage (I always loved her, but I was never truly respectful to her, to my shame). For years, my personality cast a shadow over her; now, I am happily and lovingly supporting her from within her own shadow, and — my goodness! — she is brilliant in the sun.

        Obviously, I can not speak for her, but her happiness speaks for itself. There is still plenty of life that is difficult, with kids and family and friends and sickness and death and politics and wars and everything else, but here between the two of us, things are working, and working well.

        And I definitely get something out of it, as well. A feeling of being useful, and a true purpose that I can measure my progress on. This morning, I brought her to orgasm twice (the second with her riding on top of me), and even though she gave me the option of cumming as well, I asked her if I could please remain in my current state (because even though my post orgasm sub drop has mostly disappeared over the past few years, I still love that desperate feeling of always needing to please and obey and worship her, and I do lose that wonderful need after an orgasm).

        I should add that she is not at all kinky. No sadistic bone in her body. No fetishes. Never in leather or plastic or whatever. No leases, collars, or dog cages. No whips, ropes, or chains. She knows that I will put my cock cage on in a heartbeat at her word, and I’ll keep it on without complaint or nuisance until she decides that it comes off, and that I’ll thank her for it, but lately we haven’t even needed the cage much (although it does help me to be focused on her).

        I work full time, and she is a “home maker” (which is real work, only it doesn’t have a pay check). Now I come home and also do as much of the housework as she does not want to do. (I am careful to not take any work away from her that she wants to do; she still gets pleasure from some of the house work, and she knows that she can dump it all on me any time that she chooses.) Like everything else that I described, doing the cleaning and other work at home now brings me pleasure, because it is an opportunity to serve her and show my love for her, and the small amount of appreciation that she shows in return is like a fountain of water to a man thirsting in the desert.

        I wrote a lot more than I had planned to, but it hopefully will fill in the blanks for the questions that you put forward. As I said at the start: It is an addiction. But it is a beautiful one, and I personally could not be happier with the result. It is the first time in my life when I was completely content with what I had, with my lot in life, with my purpose and my responsibilities. And while I am not a perfect husband — yet! — it has been very obvious to me that she has also been very pleased with her control over my behavior and her control over the direction that I am evolving in.

  9. When I was 26 I went out with a girl who was 19. She lived at home with her mother in a flat. The girl often liked to masturbate me sat with my jeans pulled down to my thighs in her room with the door open. Upon cumming she would call her mother to ask a question from the living room which was just down the hall. I basically had the time that it took for her to get up and walk down the hall to come to her daughters room for me to clean up the cum, pull up my jeans and look like nothing had happened.

    I’ve had several FD based relationships and can share more experiences if it’s of interest.

        1. Hmmmmmm, I think it is fiction and probably written by a male feet fetishist. In my two plus decades of research and interest I have not once come across a real life FLR where the male BECAME aroused by being submissive, but did not to start with. Non submissive males don’t end up in FLRs AND end up being turned on.

    1. Yes she did laugh. She also liked to light matches, blow them out and while the head was still hot and press them on my ‘weakness’ for want of a better word. Things didn’t really progress beyond that in that relationship.

      When I was about 35 I met someone else who was a couple of years younger. I completely introduced her to FD (I had been interested in it for many years and had bought many swish publications and other magazines before the internet) She was very interested and most of my experiences were with her from being made to kiss her shoes down a book aisle in a well know high street shop to having to wear a pair of her panties to work. I was forced to sleep on the floor a couple of times, made to sit when urinating and all orgasms were timed. Starting at 2 mins and eventually on occasion getting down to 1 min. I can share other experiences with her as I remember them but none were on the same level as your own experience I’m afraid. These days my life is relatively normal hence why I read your blog. I miss the letters section of old Madam Magazine and so often trawl through Google looking for specific letters I remember that I’d like to read again. is quite interesting but real life accounts seem thin on the ground since petticoatdiscipline and Ellie Sutton finished. I hope I haven’t bored you with my ramblings!

      1. Thank you. I really like this first girlfriend experience and will blog about it. Please provide your other experiences as they do not have to be, ‘at the same level’ as mine to still provide little gems, like your first girlfriend experiences.
        regarding the 2nd one, the times orgasms were you masturbating? And what happened if you failed to cum within the allotted time?

        Have you read the material from Madame magazine on my blog? Hover over the Dommes’ letters tab.

  10. Please Mistress don’t publish my full name. I wanted to be forthright with You, but would not want that identification on the internet

    1. I would adore the chance to engage with her, perhaps by email. BUT first I need to know what you have done. I cringe that you have begged her to read my books, although you do not know whether she has or not? I have only publish one book for vanilla women to read. Just one. None of the others are appropriate for women while they are vanilla.
      Have you read this material?

      From my alternative blog, have you shown her this page?

      And have you shown her this page?

  11. Greetings Ms Scarlet. I am one of the subs who silently checks your blog from time to time. Due to your kind invitation, I decided to provide a glimpse into our lifestyle…with my Queen’s approval of course.

    We are both in our 60s, retired, and have lived the FLR lifestyle for the last 20 years or so. I have always been submissive and my Queen has always been Dominant. Like many female Doms, she was reluctant to yield her power to its fullest. But with the advent of so many sources on the internet to learn about the D/s life, she has now flourished, and is no longer inhibited.

    To look at us, you would never guess that we live this way. We are both fit and active, and somewhat attractive, but we definitely look the part of older boomers. That said, here’s a sample of our activities.

    First and foremost, I am a foot slave. I have been attracted to female feet ever since I can remember. I will do anything to kneel at my wife’s feet. They literally control my life…and my wife’s feet are a stunning size 6, perfectly arched, with always immaculately pedicured toes. She knows this well and relishes and exploits this power over me.

    Her torments are exquisite. I am kept locked with a CB6000 on most days, and must sleep and shower in it. The day starts with me serving her coffee in bed while she reads or talks on the phone. She knows I am horniest in the morning and will generally have me kneel beside the bed. She will slowly slip her legs out from under the covers, cross her ankles and instruct me to stare at her feet…no kissing or smelling allowed. This may last an hour or longer with breaks to fetch her more coffee. At some point she will rise to go pee, and I must crawl behind her, kneel and watch her pee, and wait for her to slide forward so I can dry her off with my tongue. The taste of her first morning pee is strong, but I have learned to crave it. My cock aches in my cage from the sight of her glorious feet, and the taste of her piss. “Do you want to cum?” she’ll sometimes ask. “Only with your permission, Goddess” is always my answer. “Of course you do, but it’s not going to happen for you today, slave…get dressed”

    I have not been allowed to cum now for three and half months. I am given no clue as to when, of if, I will be allowed to do so again…and I don’t dare ask. Special occasions like my birthday, anniversary or Christmas are meaningless in this regard. Obedience and devotion are required 100% of the time to even hope for release. So make no mistake, when I am told to do something, I jump to do it immediately, whether in private or in public with our friends. If Goddess snaps her fingers, I fall to my knees and wait for instruction.

    Of course, her orgasms are numerous and frequent, usually the result of my aching tongue or one of her vibrators. One her favorite positions is to have me rest my head on chair with her sitting on my face and my tongue up her asshole while she uses her vibrator. If she is satisfied, I am allowed to worship those hallowed feet. If I’ve been “really good”, she’ll remove the cage and repeatedly edge me while reminding me to “don’t even think about cumming”.

    On the subject of punishments, she will happily laugh at the sight of welts that appear on my body from her dressage whip. After a long day, I am occasionally allowed to slip off her shoes, lose myself if the heavenly scent of her socks, and kiss her gorgeous feet. The price of this treat is usually a date with the dressage whip, sometimes followed up with 20 or 30 swats from her paddle. This is where the internet has encouraged her to be cruel in an exquisite manner.

    When visiting friends I will usually have a beer. Playing the part of the loving wife, she will ask if I want another. My “refill” is most often a full 12oz of her tasty champagne. What a turn on to drink this while among my friends, with my cock locked in its cage. It’s our secret…and it’s wonderful!

      1. Sorry, yes, I am in the USA. A pint here is 16oz. So 12oz is your typical bottle of beer here.

        Thank you for allowing me the honor of posting on your blog.

  12. Thank You so much Mistress for commenting. I of course have read all your books and my girlfriend has had access to them. At times I have read sections to her. I bought her Your manual and she had ‘promised’ to read it. I think she is afraid of the notion of pain and hurting me. I literally have begged for corner time, but she only did it once. One time I was tied up in the closet. Something in her past is stopping her even though the thought of dominating me excites her. Anticipating Your question, I sent her your alternative blog link last night. I think, pray really, that a little coaching will help her realize how fulfilling this could be for her and my submissive being. Of course, a lot of this is my fault as I have a very demanding job and often it gets in the way. With great respect and admiration for You Mistress Scarlet. Bill

    1. OK so here is my great fear for you. I don’t think you are going to make progress with your girlfriend. I think this because I don’t think you listen to women. I don’t think you care what they think. I don’t think you empathise with what women are feeling when you are communicating with them. I don’t think you satisfy their needs, their queries. You can take offence at this, or you can turn over a new leaf.
      Did you go through the first link I sent you. I don’t think you did which is disrespectful to me (and to your girlfriend). Even if you did, there is no doubt, in the past you did several things to your girlfriend you should never have done – according to the advice in that link. So you should have apologised to your girlfriend; have you? Either you haven’t, so you are ignoring my advice, or you have, and you haven’t told me you have, which is disrespectful to me. You need to learn to stop focussing on WHAT YOU WANT, and start focussing on what I want from our interactions, and much much more importantly, what your girlfriend can get out of dominating you. HER NEEDS. HER BENEFITS. Your needs can follow on in due course. Its not about your needs right now.

      1. Dear Mistress Scarlet, You are right and I must apologize for my disrespectful behavior toward You and my Girlfriend. I showed Her your post and She said, “exactly” and that I must be more empathetic and tactile. She was truly energized by Your post. I will respectfully ask Her to review all the material and links You kindly provided, after I apologize for ‘pushing’ Her for my own benefit and not Hers. I hope this will be a new leaf that can benefit Her first and foremost. I sincerely thank You for Your time and attention and the motivation for us to proceed. bill

          1. Dear Mistress Scarlet, i am carefully reflecting on this and all the information and guidance You have provided. i again thank You so much for Your time and for the spark Your engagement with us has created.

              1. Ms. Scarlet, I want to thank you for the advise you gave my boy bill. I am pleased with his ‘small’ effort at this point. More importantly, your comments to boy bill gave me something I have not felt for a long time and that is strength as a woman. I thank you for this and I am looking forward to this journey.

  13. Dear Mistress, we are in the US and my beautiful girlfriend just awoke. Just to clarify, she income me that she did read the ‘vanilla’ manual. Thank You so much for all Your guidance in taking this to the next Step (s) with gratitude bill

  14. Dear Ms Scarlett. I wanted to write you a message to say thank you so much for the books you’ve written, especially the manuals. My wife and I have read through them and it has changed, and almost certainly saved our relationship.

    During a particularly rough patch in our marriage, things were looking very bleak for us both. We were barely speaking and both very unhappy. There were other factors involved, but our complete lack of communication was a major factor. I have always known I am a submissive person for as long as I can remember, but every time I’ve acted upon it I went about introducing it exactly as you predicted in your book. Either freaking her out, or being too full on.

    I don’t remember exactly how I found your book, but reading the reviews, most were very favourable, so I thought I’d give it a try. I instantly saw where I’d gone wrong and I suggested my wife also give it a read. Over the months after reading the book, her confidence began to grow and we became so much stronger as a couple. She was beginning to feel the rush of power over me. My tiny winkie was locked away in a chastity cage and now I am currently locked 24×7, well I do get released when I run long distance, but there is no chance of cheating my chastity while out running!! My level of contentment was off the scale. I’ve never felt so contented and in love.

    Things were looking amazing, but unfortunately just after Christmas last year, she had a total loss of confidence, and could no long cope with where we were. I have never felt so lost in my life. I can’t explain quite how much it affected me, losing my Goddess. I felt totally broken, and she was the same. I fear some of blame lay very much at my feet, pushing her too far with my desires, topping from the bottom. There were other factors as well, but they were more down to work and general life pressures.

    Thankfully, we have worked together over the past few months rebuilding her confidence, and thankfully, we are slowly working back to where we were. I am not pushing her in any way, other than the odd nudge to suggest she be more spontaneous with her desires (she is very much the over-thinker), and to worry less about the ideas she has for me. Things are definitely improving again, her power growing and even though she doesn’t think she is a natural domme, she really is. She is definitely the natural leader of our home, and although tough times in the past have made her doubt that, I’m hoping along with other things, this will give her all her confidence that she had in her earlier years back again.

    Currently, she is particularly enjoying having me wake in the middle of the night to clean the bathroom or scrub the floors on my hands and knees. These night-time chores are documented in a time lapse video that have to be sent when I complete the task, to prove it was finished and at the specified time. I am no longer permitted in her bed, I now sleep on the hard wooden floor next to her bed, and generally sleep is only permitted after I’ve spent some time standing at the wall, as she rests in bed reading and working through her mindfulness from the day.

    The one thing that didn’t change during the rough patch, was that my chastity remained and I am still denied any penetrative sex. She loves teasing and laughing at my winkie as she pleasures herself. I am currently kept in a Holy Trainer Nub, which is tiny. Sadly, it’s the perfect fit. This brings me onto my request that I’ve been told to ask of you. Would you please consider me for the BAV register, Ms Scarlet? I’ve not been allowed to have any penetrative sex since 11 April 2021 and before that it was October 2020. In 2021 it was purely a reminder for my Goddess, as to how utterly disappointing and pathetic I am. During sex, she laughed in my face and told me she felt nothing. As I could provide no pleasure for her, I should be locked away, never used in that way again. If you feel I’m worthy to be added to the register, my wife is Goddess R and she refers to me as frog.

    I just wanted to finish by thanking you again.
    Kind regards

    1. Your comment went into spam and I only just found it. I am so pleased my writings have been helpful. What an awesome Mistress Goddess R has become. I have added you to the BAV. Register. Check it for accuracy. I would love to hear more of how she dominates you. I adore she laughed in your face as she did, so hot.

  15. Dear Ms Scarlett. It’s Goddess R here. Thank you so much for your response. Your writing and this response has really boosted my strength as a woman. Below are a few things I enjoy doing to Frog, I hope you enjoy and approve. Also I would love to hear your feedback.

    Our DS days are limited as we have a child so only when we are alone or away from home. The other weekend we went away for a night in a nice hotel. Obviously he drove so I could have a nice long nap in the car. When we arrived at the destination we were early so had a walk about the town. After we got checked in, and got to the room. Frog set about making sure I was comfortable. Once he had served me my cup of tea I sent Frog back the car to fetch the bags and bring them to the room. When he returned, had him strip so I could see his worthless winkie as he packed the clothes into the wardrobe and tidied everything away. I lay on the bed watching, but mostly ignoring him. Once the room was sorted, I felt I deserved a nice massage and having my skin moisturised. He set to work as I read my book. When he was done with that I unlocked his cage and laughed at his pathetic excuse. Annoyingly we had left home without the Linex, however while in town I’d sent him onto a shop to pick up some Deep Heat and thankfully they had some extra strength deep heat for ‘extra pain relief’. I think he saw the irony in that. Anyway once his excuse was released I took a good measure of it and began to rub it in. He was, I think, shocked at the extra power of the deep heat. I kept rubbing it into his erect winkie as he whimpered and began to cry a little. Sometimes the pain must have been too much as he stepped away, so I need to remove that option next time. I kept on rubbing it in and he was getting quite aroused even through the pain. He must ask me to stop touching if he’s about to release. It has been 6 weeks since his last release and so it amused me to bring him close and stop. The pain was still causing him severe discomfort and I started to tire of his whining so I finally allowed him a release. Obviously I totally ruined it, letting go just at the right time. He tells me that with that and the deep heat he felt almost no pleasure at all, in fact it was just painful. As soon as it was over the cage was immediately locked back on and then I had him then get on all fours by my bed as I brought myself to a most enjoyable and satisfying orgasm as I rested my foot on his back. Having read in your book about keeping bb in a cupboard when in hotel rooms I was most disappointed that this hotel room had no suitable cupboards to put Frog in over night but thankfully the cold stone bathroom floor was available for him to sleep on.

    After this release I have now mentioned that he might not get a release again until we get another weekend away, this is currently not even booked. He pleaded that maybe he could be allowed for his birthday in a few weeks but that seems unlikely so I told him maybe this year, maybe not.

    In our day to day lives Frog is not permitted in my bed and always sleeps on the wood floor next to my bed, if he’s been good he’s allowed his duvet and his teddy bear Frou Frou. If he’s been less satisfactory I downgrade the duvet to a blanket that is just a bit too small for him or no cover at all, this he really hates. All his clothes have now been moved out of my bedroom into the small box room which is now the ‘maids room’. The maids room is nice and small and I particularly enjoy sending him in there to complete the ironing with the door and window firmly shut. It gets quite warm as he works away however it’s even more fun if I put the fan heater in the room as well. He suffers as the temperature rises. I like a time lapse video sent once he’s finished as there is no way I want to go into that room when it’s 35 degrees.

    He works full time and his office is very casual with most people wearing shorts, t shirts and trainers each day so I insist he wears a shirt and shoes with panties or colourful pants insert his trousers. He would always chose to wear a t shirt so I love removing that option and making him wear shirts. I have picked all his current wardrobe for work and all the shirts and colourful and flowery. I wouldn’t want him to feel too manly at any point.

    Thank you for taking the time to read this and so you know, your writing and support really helps me become stronger each day.

    We have looked and couldn’t see Frog on the BAV register, do we need to do anything more ?

    Warmest regard
    Goddess R

      1. I have checked and confirm your BAV register is correct. Thank you. It feels more concrete now that it’s in writing. As a celebration of him being added to your register, last night I unlocked him and gave his tiny winkie a good coating of Linex and enjoyed his whimpering while I had a very satisfactory orgasm before locking it back away. I will keep updating with how things are progressing if you’d like to hear? I have a couple of things up my sleeve that he can’t know about yet. But he’s going to hate them and I can’t wait.

  16. Dear Mistress Scarlet,

    I am a 54 year old man living in Southern England. I have never interacted with any social media platforms so apologies if I may be in the wrong place.

    Firstly I wanted to thank you for all your journals which I have purchased and read several times. I also follow your blog with eager anticipation for updates.

    I have been single, by choice, for quite some time but my previous partner and I dabbled in DS. It was only ever a ‘game’ and we would switch roles. We purchased quite a few toys but the authentic Rattan cane was certainly no toy! My partner genuinely enjoyed both roles but particularly enjoyed using the cane and strap on. We had a safe word but I would try to endure more than I would otherwise because she enjoyed it so much. Her orgasms were long and very intense after using either of those implements, although we did have quite a few other items. The CB chastity device was only worn for short periods, perhaps if she was out for the night with her friends for example. She would return rather inebriated and aroused. I believe my pain threshold is relatively high but strokes from the cane were very painful and I would carry bruises for quite some time. The strokes however would be pathetic compared to what your BB endures. In my opinion I believe BB to be one of the toughest men I have read about.

    I don’t believe I am fully sexually submissive but I find your journals extremely erotic. A fantasy that I would not care to try out for real. I have the utmost admiration for BB, absolutely incredible what he is prepared to endure and how miserable he can be and not ‘tap out’ so to speak. You have mentioned several times that he can put a stop to things at anytime and forefit DS forever.

    What I find absolutely fascinating is the psychology. What makes one person’s lines be drawn much further than another’s? Nature vs nurture. Do you think we are all born with a proclivity to preferences or do you think it is purely circumstances and experiences from childhood that shapes our preferences, likes, fetishism?

    Personally from my own experiences I find the connection with a partner to be the erotic aspect. I don’t understand the role of a professional dominatrix, perhaps I’m rather ignorant and naive or is it the fact that something is better than nothing? I certainly would not find paying someone erotic in anyway as you don’t have a personal connection and is purely transactional? Seeing my partner experience the most amazing orgasms from indulging in the sadistic side of her nature was truly wonderful.
    I really did not enjoy laying on my back being taken with a strap on or on my knees sucking one for that matter but it was the psychology of the situation that was erotic on so many levels that, unfortunately, my limited vocabulary can not convey.

    I’m sure you must get thousands of emails and comments but at the very least I wanted you to know I have greatly enjoyed your journals which must of taken a great deal of effort and time.

    Kind regards

    1. Thank you for the kind words about my journals.

      He does not have the option to ‘tap out’ during anything that happens to him. It is not a game. Having a sub genuinely begging with all their heart and ignoring that begging is the holy grail for a Domme. But yes, he could choose zero domination at any time. He does not because he knows what he truly needs to feel content overall in his life. To be helplessly in the power of a PITILESS cruel dominant woman.

      I think you will find that that is ‘the psychology’. That is the definition of a submissive. Why certain uses and abuses tick that box better than others is a bit of a mystery though and I think must be nurture. I am clear on why so many people are submissive, but you have to be open to science to accept that and so few people understand the counterintuitive nature of many scientific explanations.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s