Category Archives: Uncategorized

Nectar-ice pacifier

Well the summer is here for those of us in the Northern hemisphere. I have suggested in the past a great humiliation for subs is to have them suck on a home-made ice pop, or ice lolly, made with 100% nectar. Lots of places sell the products required to make home-made ice lollies.

But they are a little messy and a bib is needed and hands get sticky and the usage options become a little limited, especially indoors.

Well, a little while ago, a great suggestion came my way. It can be purchased on Amazon.

Two or three nectar ice cubes can be placed in the net and the sub can suck away without there being any mess. I will be having bitch-boy suck away while he is doing the most menial chores in the garden on his hands and knees, while I relax in my swing seat. I have him weed borders to perfection, edge the lawn with scissors, pick moss growing within plants, remove pebbles from beds, etc. It looks like his head harness will be ideal for locking the pacifier in place.

If I want it to be worse for him, I can have him dressed in his full-on parody of a little girl outfit and suck on his pacifier while, for instance, pushing his dollies around in the toy pushchair, showing them the pwetty flowerth.

And a favourite summer activity of mine. He has to get up onto the conservatory glass roof with hose and bowl and clean the glass to perfection, while I am in the very hot conservatory, naked but for heels and golden waist-chain, (on which dangle his chastity tube and fetters keys). He looks down as I ignore him, lazing around naked, occasionally bringing myself off with my Lelo Sila.

As of today, he has gone over eight weeks now, not only NOT HAVING AN ORGASM, but also, NOT EVEN HAVING AN ERECTION. Even on the full-on DS days over this period, his little birth defect has been all locked up in its tiny tube. To get my fix of dickie-discipline I have been using a cotton bud , loaded with Linnex wax into the holes in the tube I had him drill. Going by his sobbing, it is very effective!

Finally, he can be sucking on the pacifier while doing the ironing and lots of other indoor chores. I will report on the pacifier use as soon as it arrives.


My latest journal is available on as a PAPERBACK and an ePub.

It is also available as a Kindle book on AMAZON.


In due course it will be available in Barnes and Noble, Nook, iTunes books, etc.

Wives become dominant

Below are two wonderful, real-life accounts. They are wonderful as far as I am concerned, because my overriding goal from my my online presence and one of my publications, is to get more wives of submissive males to try REAL dominance. These two accounts are two of my successes. Most specifically by online presence, I reference: My alternative website, LINK 1, LINK 2, and this section of this blog LINK.

Account 1

Dear Ms. Scarlet,

First I must thank you for your “How to introduce your wife to femdom” articles. And I cannot thank you enough. I apologise for somewhat lengthy post but please allow me to give some background.

My wife and I have been married for 21 years. I’m 46, she is 47. I have been a submissive for as long as I remember but really got into the scene around 2008. I started visiting professional dominatrix in 2008 I’m Bangkok, Mumbai, Tokyo, Singapore, Toronto, Berlin…you get the idea. I have been in corporate sales for 20 years so I got a chance to travel. I am an extrovert, very Type An Alpha personality, usually the centre of attraction. My wife is exactly the opposite. Quiet, reserved and thanks to your blog, I now know she is a sadist who loves inflicting pain.

About 6 years ago, I actually asked her to be my KeyHolder as I started experimenting with chastity. We tried a few times in last 6 years to get to a Dome/sub dynamics but it would always splutter and stop.

One month ago we started seeing a Therapist on my insistence. The fact is that we love each other amd enjoy our company but sex, or lack there of, was becoming an issue. To cut a long story short, the visits helped us communicate and your blog helped me share by deepest desires to my wife. She was open and we tried to stay away from judging each other. I have now understood what FLR means. In the past I was topping from the bottom and therefore we never took off.

My wife has really taken to your blog and has been reading it regularly over last month. She helped me understand that I am a what you call a “born submissive “. We followed your advice on her asking, “How did it make you feel?” as opposed to “did you like it?”.

It turns out my wife’s favourite activities it seems are inspired by you. I am in a chastity cage, without knowing if and when I will be allowed a release. She loves caning and spanking. She wants to get to a stage of me sobbing and pleading. I have never reached there. I am not a masochist and while enjoy impact play, but not at the level she wants. I truly hate it in the moment, but love the feeling I get when later ,’my head hits the pillow’ :)

Yesterday she tried DeepHeat for the first time. I must say I have NEVER felt this kind of pain. As she used her hands in latex gloves to tease me after applying 2 coats on my head, I could see the twinkle in her eyes as I was begging her to not touch me. I normally call her Ma’am during play but I was calling her by her “love name” as I was begging for it to stop. It took about 20 mins and I HATED it, but I felt so so submissive. While having a whiskey later, we talked and we both loved it. She did because I felt real pain and she could see it in my eyes. She’s hooked and I am terrified of more Deep Heat discipline. I am now doing almost all the chores. I give her a foot massage every evening. She’s using her body to tease me a lot. I’ve never wanted her more. You are right in that a true submissive needs a pitiless domme who does not consider “if the sub likes it”. I hope my wife writes to you one day. We cannot thank you enough.

Best Regards,


Account 2

Sorry for the delayed response.

Our relationship was kind of boring and vanilla, we had a but of kinky fun but nothing more than a nylon hood or some under-the-bed cuffs. It was always her being the sub. Without divulging too many details, we both read your “tempt her to try” article and agreed that I don’t do enough housework. The next day she had ordered a maid outfit, butt plug and chastity device. Going for cheap options at first to see if her new “hobby” was a good fit.

Luckily for me, I am blessed in the trouser department, the chastity devices just would not fit, lube and coercion was not helping. So instead she makes me wear her knickers 24/7. When I am at work I am allowed to wear cycle shorts over them so no one else can see.

Then she finally found a device that would work. More of a steel pouch with a closable lid. The very moment the padlock clicked on she announced “I will NEVER be tied up again. You won’t ever tell me what housework to do. Outside you are your own man, but in this home YOU ARE MY BITCH, now go make me a cup of tea

I am now chaste, hardworking in the home, can actually give good head (before she lacked the confidence to tell me my skills were lacking – now she tells me exactly how to do it right) my screen time is now managed to “no screens when mistress is in the house”

Oh and the other day she was inspired by you to leave me in sensory deprivation bondage while she relaxed with a film. When the film was over she left me in silence and darkness for another hour while she played with herself in the next room.

The life you have built for your slave sounds far too extreme for me. I only hope my beautiful wife doesn’t becomes any more inspired by you and bitch boys antics!

Anyway, we are both much happier with the new arrangement, I am no longer lazy and she is no longer lacking self confidence. Both good things to have.

Thank you for your thoughts and reccomendations.

Volume 19, some readers’ comments

Below are some comments on my latest Journal, No. 19. My very sincere thanks to the kind people who make the effort to provide me with a positive comment, or a review on Amazon Kindle or Lulu. It is so useful to get positive feedback to counterbalance the demotivating craziness sometimes experienced. (Examples from past journals include: ‘2 stars because it took ages to be delivered’. or, ‘2 stars because it was not what I expected.’!)


Hello Mistress Scarlet.

Thank you for another amazing account of real life female domination. We are spoilt to have another one of your journals so soon and thank you for sharing your insights into the wonderful life you and bitch-boy live in perfect symbiosis.

I know you use the adage “Be careful watch you wish for” to tease bitch-boy about his current sex-free, blowjob-free and handjob-free life he now lives after introducing you to female domination all those years ago but I also think bitch-boy should be specific about what he wishes for as well. For over a decade he has been wishing and pleading to be allowed to penetrate/fuck your beautiful body even if it were for just a few moments each year.

You have finally relented to his pleadings and giving him far more than he ever wished for as you now, on a regular basis instruct him to position himself between your thighs and penetrate you until you orgasm. Instead of joy and delight his initial reaction on being instructed to penetrate you was sadness and sobbing.

Perhaps how should have specified that when he desired to fuck your beautiful body that it be with “his” penis and not as Mistress’s Little Masturbation Helper whilst holding a vibrator whilst humiliatingly dressed with his cock locked away in a tight, pink chastity cage unable to achieve an erection and so sexually desperate.


I was very surprised when I saw the chapter heading “Mistress in the gynaecological stirrups?????” It is fair to say that you both experience intense sensations between your legs whilst in the stirrups but they just happen to be on opposite sides on the pain/pleasure spectrum. I guess opposites really do attract. Yet another perfect balance………..


Thank you and thank you again for all the time and effort you put into your journals, they truly are fantastic. Hope the 2 of you are going well.


oh yes Ms Scarlet – this boy always buys your new Journals as soon as you say they are available and ‘already’ as he dived in and discovered your interactions and visit to see Mistress Lynne in the first chapters – the mercilessness shown to her sub, led to my comment of ‘utterly fretfully awesome’. This boy paces himself when reading your Journals, and re-reads each section, to ensure in his initial excited reading, that he doesn’t miss anything and so he doesn’t reach the end too soon!


5.0 out of 5 stars An incredibly journey into a real Female Led Relationship Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2022

Verified Purchase

Another wonderful peek into Ms Scarlet’s and her husband bb’s world of dominance and submission. While a casual BDSM practitioner might cringe at Ms Scarlet’s treatment of bb, it is a relationship many submissive men envy. I can’t help but feel so many emotions as I try to put myself in his place, and while I feel sincere pity for him, I can’t help but to feel incredible awe of her (Her level of sadism ratchets up with each journal and blog entry)…yet would do anything to be in his place.

She has a wonderful writing style and could easily find myself reading the book in one sitting, however I force myself to put it down after each entry and savor this incredible journey; one many can’t understand, but which she has embraced, controls, and enjoys with such incredible pleasure. This journal epitomizes the term “Be careful for what you wish”, yet still feeds the fire of my desire for it.
Well done.


My latest journal is now published and available on as a PAPERBACK and an ePub.

It is also available as a Kindle book on AMAZON.


In due course it will be available in Barnes and Noble, Nook, iTunes books, etc.

Another hot account from S

Dear Mistress Scarlet

I’ve hade m write up another account, based on my notes I gave him, following my previous account.

Please keep up the good work we both love reading your accounts, points of view and experiences

S xxx

Account 3

It’s been quite a while since I’ve had the time to write a draught for m to transcribe but I continue to check your blog which is always inspiring, thought provoking and informative. 

Recently I’ve had a little more time than usual to jot down some notes whilst reminiscing about those early days of our FLR. As the account of m’s session with Miss was so popular I thought I’d share another one that sticks very firmly in my memory. 

Although I’ve tried to keep it as factual and accurate in all aspects I’ve also found it reads a little like a porn story, that was never my intent it simply is what it is, a chapter of my life that I cherish and will always remain as part of our journey together.  

Those early days were a time filled with wonder, endless possibilities and excitement for me. I’d stepped through a door I hadn’t  known existed and found a world that welcomed the real me with open arms. 

I no longer had to conform with what society had prescribed as my path, which was to be a soft feminine woman who needed to keep her man happy.  In my new world I made the rules and it accepted me for who I was. I could still be feminine, but I could also be so much more.

I honestly believe that everyone has deep sexual desires that we never share, instead we keep them to ourselves because we are ashamed of them or are too scared to share them. We often worry what our partners would think. But once through that door anything becomes possible, those desires aren’t just achievable they become the norm and sow the seeds of new desires never previously imagined.

S xxx 


It was about five or six weeks after the event described in my original account and several overnight visits from Miss. During that time we’d both enjoyed some great evenings which were mainly at m’s expense. He’d been kept locked in his tight little chastity cage for several weeks and the torment his poor little clit must’ve felt only served as an aphrodisiac to us both.

Miss and myself chatted most days either via mobile or text messages. I’d usually receive texts from her during the day which kept me up to date on m’s behaviour. On this particular day m had pissed Miss off at work by the way he’d spoken to one of his subordinates and Miss wasn’t too happy to say the least. 

m was never allowed to assert himself at home and even though I have a certain sympathy for his predicament in his senior roll in the workplace I also very much discourage any sign of his silly male ego. Tbh these days even the thought of him taking the slightest amount of control when not with me causes my hackles to rise! 

For the next few days Miss and myself schemed and planned on what would be a suitable lesson for m. Miss expressed a real interest in seeing m being disciplined and I was only too eager to make that happen.

m was quite busy at work during the days and then spent most evenings redecorating the kitchen and dining room. I’d decided on a makeover and simply didn’t care how tired he was, sympathy was an emotion I rarely had when it came to m’s service at home. I’d also ordered a lovely and very frilly maids uniform I’d found on eBay, which along with his new set of black court shoes was another area of consternation for m to adjust to.  He still had his girly baby doll which was often worn but an upgrade was needed! 

Miss and myself settled on the coming Friday night to put our ideas into motion, there were no workdays to worry about and she was planning on staying through to Monday morning and travelling into work with m.

I have to admit that the anticipation of spending time with her and m’s impending torment made me think I’d wear out my hitachi wand before Friday even got here! I was insatiable for orgasms and no matter how many I had it simply wasn’t enough to quench the fire.

Friday arrives.

m had come home early which was the norm for a Friday, he’s usually wrapped up at work and home by 3pm.  On arriving home he’d fallen into the routine I’d set him. He knelt before me and I gave him his chore list then sent him off for a full top to toe body shave. This includes unlocking his cage to ensure his little baby clit is completely smooth and has no unwarranted manly hair present. Of course I supervised this stage as I didn’t want any opportunities for him to indulge in any nasty dirty habits he once took for granted. For the first time he was instructed to wear his new maids uniform but no panties. As the hem was so short it would barely cover his exposed encased clit.

Once he was devoid of all hair in this area he was quickly relocked and instructed to continue his ablutions and dress accordingly. Once he was secure I took the opportunity to casually inform him that Miss would be our guest for the next few nights and would be arriving around 7.30pm. Anything less than his total and complete obedience wouldn’t be tolerated and he would most definitely regret not giving 100% in keeping the both of us happy. His face was a picture of shock, excitement and and a healthy dose of fear, his eyes were wide but I also noticed that his little clit was almost instantly struggling to burst free of its tiny cage. These are the moments I find such a huge turn on, watching the effect that my decisions have on him and seeing the look of helplessness in his eyes.

By 7pm m had completed all his chores and was now sat quietly on a dining room chair which I’d made him position next to where Miss usually sat. The hem of his uniform barely covered his cage when stood up, but when he sat down it had no chance to hide his tiny steel chastity cage. I’d also bought him a pair of white hold up stockings with a delightful black bow that topped them off. The sight of his smooth bare thighs above the stocking topped legs was such a nice touch to his overall look. I also decided that tonight he’d didn’t need panties as it was so much nicer to keep him on show.

As part of his chores m had placed several bottles of wine and a full cheese board with other various snacks ready for our enjoyment. The next 30 minutes I simply ignored m which must’ve been torturous for him as even I felt my heart thumping in my chest as the minutes slowly ticked by. It was a few minutes after 7.30pm that the doorbell rang and m visibly flinched as it announced Miss’s arrival. He was like a rabbit trapped in the lights of an onrushing car and there wasn’t a thing he could do to change his fate.

As instructed m answered the door as I waited in the living room. The sounds of wild laughter that filled the hallway as m greeted Miss were so infectious I couldn’t help but laugh too.  As she burst into the living room we quickly embraced and were in fits of giggles. m simply stood in the doorway waiting to take her coat, his eyes downcast and his cheeks clearly burning a deep red.  I have to say that I’m a total humiliation freak, seeing a grown man cower is one of my top turn ons. 

Once we were settled and chatting m served the wine. He kept the glasses filled and pampered to our needs, served the cheese and cleared the plates away. For me that was one of the most memorable parts of that evening, just how natural it felt as we both relaxed, flirted and were waited on by m whilst neither of us cared at all about his dignity. 

Almost inevitably the mood changed to a sexually charged one. We had schemed and planned and now it was time to put it all into action. We had decided to go for a ‘good cop vs bad cop scenario’ which I have to admit was Miss’s idea.

Inviting m to sit next to her she rested her hand on his thigh. From the total indifference she had shown him for the earlier part of the evening to the sympathy she now showed him at how unfair it was to be locked up couldn’t have shocked him more. The look on m’s face as she sympathised with his clit being locked up was the last thing he expected. Playing my own roll I explained how it was absolutely necessary if he was ever to learn control. As the mock discussion on the merits of male chastity raged I slowly gave ground as I eventually agreed with Miss that maybe he had earned a release. Poor m must’ve thought all his Christmas’s had come at once as I threw the key over for her to use. 

As she put the key in the lock she started telling m that he really needed to be a good little girl after she had stood up for him, that if he let her down he would deeply regret it. She then went on to tell him that if he was especially good she might even take hold his clit for a little while. I swear I saw m tremble and shiver when she told him that. 

With a quick turn of the key Miss released m and his little clit popped free.  Quickly it became so swollen it looked like an over inflated balloon about to burst. I was totally mesmerised at how desperate it looked, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so beautifully erotic in my life as his unfulfilled lust. Miss continued to reassure him that all he needed was to be a good little girl to gain these little rewards. Whilst this went on all I could think of was how beautiful it looked as Miss ran her hands over his stockings and over his smooth thighs. A couple of times she came close to touching him but withheld that reward for later. A couple of times m let a whimper escape his lips but Miss quickly shushed him with a gentle and sympathetic warning to be a good little girl and not disturb us if he wanted to remain free.

As m’s faced burned with shame and humiliation we both started chatting again, comparing stories on previous lovers male or female, what we liked to do with them, and as this went on m’s little clit looked closer and closer to bursting.

Unknowingly to me when Miss had visited the WC earlier she had noticed m’s decorating paraphernalia and now pulled out of her handbag a small soft paintbrush. She used it to demonstrate on m just where and how she liked to touch a man. With soft strokes that barely touched him she applied that brush remorselessly as m clenched his teeth trying to remain still. I also noticed her own breathing had deepened and her voice had become husky as she told m not to let her down if he wanted to feel her soft fingers wrapped around his clit. 

It was all too much for m after the weeks of lock up and he let out a sob begging pitifully to be touched properly. That was exactly what we had planned and hoped for! The triumphant smile on Miss’s face had me squirming, I knew it wouldn’t be long now until we were in bed together but the final part of our plan needed completing. Miss had already told me she masturbated at the thought of watching her boss being disciplined and I was so damned horny for her I would’ve granted her anything. 

Quickly m was sent to fetch his paddle, he was completely broken and ran off to do as he was told.  Once he returned I positioned him with his hands flat against the wall and butt sticking out with legs spread. His achingly swollen clit was dripping precum like a fountain as I positioned myself to one side of him whilst Miss took up the other side.

At that point she actually took hold of m’s clit and almost hissed into his ear to remain still if he knew what was good for him as I started with the paddle. Over and over again I let him have it, I’d disciplined him before but nothing like this. My strokes were unrestrained and he howled and sobbed as the paddle landed with Miss holding his clit tightly whilst it ever so slowly shrunk in her hand. Once it was nothing more than its usual soft tiny size Miss released him and wiped the precum off her hand across his face telling him if he wasn’t locked back in his cage in the next thirty seconds she’d be having her turn at using the paddle. 

That night, as m spent it aching in his clitty cage with his butt burning, we spent it in total lust. I’ve never had another woman so wet or as eager in my life, we were quite simply wild for each other. That was the start of a weekend which can only be described as wild beyond imagination.

S xxx

Another example of the submissive’s paradox

My previous post was an account from a submissive male warning be careful what you wish for and he set out his ‘dire’ circumstances. But when I pushed him on whether he would he like to be set free, he made clear he would NEVER want to be set free.

This post is another account from a submissive male warning be careful what you wish for; and when I pushed him on would he like to be set free, his response was: ‘….No Ms Scarlet I would not want to be free of the relationship as I love my Mistress, she is the love of my life. If something did happen I just know I will never live with another woman. I would be neither happy or fulfilled. At the moment I would say that I feel more fulfilled than happy………… At the end of the day there are no restraints on the doors preventing me from leaving but I don’t.’ The account follows below, by me setting out a series of comments from him.

This post with the last post, (together with bitch-boy’s life), highlight the submissive’s paradox. That to attain big-picture fulfilment, they must endure a good deal of ‘use and abuse’ they do not like. My thoughts on this are: Firstly, they must come to terms with this. Secondly, dominant women need to remember how easy it is to secure their absolute power. Simply ask their submissive, ‘Do you want domination MY WAY, or no domination at all? And MY WAY means I do whatever I damn well please.’ Thirdly, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, those that are in that situation should never forget to be very grateful that they are! The supply and demand situation means the vast majority of submissive males dream of, more than anything, being in their situation, but are not, AND NEVER WILL BE.

It was by studying this paradox that I developed my definition of a submissive. A submissive can only be content when they feel helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel, dominant woman. If their Mistress was not pitiless, or was not cruel, or was not dominant or did not have the submissive feeling helpless, the submissive would not be fulfilled. There is no cake-and-eat-it option!

The Account

I live in a Mistress Slave relationship, started by me, the agenda pushed by me (often against Mistresses opposition) over a couple of years. I said right at the start that I wanted to be a rich woman’s slave, she did not understand but was prepared to give it a go. As I moved in with her everything was in her name, which we decided to leave as it was because I had just left a grabbing wife. I had my salary paid into her account and changed everything into her name, stupid I know, but it seemed the right thing to do at the time as it keep nearly everything out of my then wife’s grabbing hands and my Mistress wanted and seemed eager to get married. My ex-wife made that as difficult as possible, dragging divorce proceedings out for over three and a half years. We had by then moved on. Mistress had bought a rundown house in the best part of town, that I did up, as well as two buy to let properties, made possible by a large amount of money she was left in her Grandads will.

Somewhere during the first two and a half years the dynamics changed as Mistress started to like what we were doing and I had to start using the safe word. It was then Mistress that started pushing the boundaries, trying to drag me along to where I did not want to go. It was during the 2008 banking crises that everything happened very quickly, the divorce came through and I lost my job. Unable to find another one Mistress made her ultimatum. I could stay and live as her slave, which would mean just that, no safe words, do exactly as I was told, obedience would be rigorously enforced, or I could leave; pointing out that she wanted a real slave and if I was not prepared to be it there were plenty out there that would. I made it clear that I was not having it and was not leaving. Mistress called the police and had me removed. The police officer explained to me the law regarding cohabiting couples, he had clearly had a similar experience, and sympathised. After trying to get help from the council and being refused, pasted from one agency to another, spending a night on a park bench, I went back to her begging for a second chance. Mistress made it quite clear what the situation was and that if I did go back there would be no third chance. Realising that, if I refused I could expect, at best, to be offered a one bedroom place, that nobody else wanted, in the rundown area of town amongst the druggies living alone; or accept and live in relative comfort, amongst nice people, driving the top of the range BMW, with my two children. I went back. Mistress is not that cruel, she does not need to be, she knows what I do not like and does it now and then just because she can.

Be very careful what you wish for you may just get it.


When we started out I made it clear what I wanted but the lady, that is now my Mistress, didn’t really want to go down that route she wanted a ” normal ” relationship. Being a girl who would give things a go she tried and with a lot of gentle pushing from me got further and further into it until we got to the tipping point where she started to go beyond what I wanted. By this time I was in too deep to pull out and started resisting. This only succeeded in spurring her on as she became more ruthless. We have now been together for twenty three years. Tonight as she left to spend two nights with her stud, she’s back late Friday afternoon, just in time to take me for my birthday meal, I said that I wished I had never started down this road but I bet you are glad that we did. She just nodded and smiled saying too right best thing I have ever done. I can only repeat be careful what you wish for you may just get it.


I have commented before about how being forced to wear a metal collar that you cannot remove without some serious kit is soul destroying. I had, for several years, worn a leather one 24/7 with it only being removed for bathing ect. Although I would never remove it I knew that I could at any time simply cut it off. This enabled me to rationalise that I was allowing this to happen and therefore in some sort of control over my situation.
My situation is that I always believed that I wanted to be a rich women’s slave until I got my wish and found that I did not want it after all. By that time we had crossed the tipping point, I kept pushing for more Mistress was being gently eased deeper into it until slowly the dynamic changed, by which time I was stuffed in more ways than one. Mistress loved it and was not going back to anything else.
Mistress told me that the leather collar was going on and staying on end of. As explained above I learnt to handle it. Mistress then read somewhere that a reluctant slave that was broken was far better than a willing one and collaring was one way to do it.

Every time you feel it you are aware of who you belong to there is simply no escape the phycological presence of it is overwhelming for me and really turns Mistress on especially when she has me remove my top and when I kneel naked at the door when I here her return from one of her lovers.


She thinks of me as her bitch and refers to me as such. leaving me to clean the house, look after the garden, walk the dogs, cook the tea etc. She leaves me with a long list of things to do while she is at work or away on one of her liaisons. Clearly if I did not do it, she would find things a lot harder, that’s the point, I exist for no other purpose than to serve her and make her life as easy as possible. I have no job or any realistic chance of getting one and the money I have coming in goes straight into her bank account, none of this could be altered without her knowledge.


Fear is just how my mistress keeps control. I am not scared or frightened of her, I am terrified of what she can do, which is exactly what she likes. As it happens she does very little physically. She does not need to exert herself.

For example she has me caress her, although I am not allowed to touch her between the legs or on her breasts, and knows instantly when I am willing to do it and when I don’t want to. Apparently when I don’t want to is far better. When I start willingly she waits twenty or thirty seconds and then says something like. ...that’s it, you are quite happy to do this, but its rubbish. No matter how hard I try I cannot tell the difference between the two. The strange thing is that when she says that, my hands go cold almost instantly, usually accompanied with what Mistress calls fear breath, and then a knowing little smile comes over her face. It is very off-putting. My body gives me away, she knows I am not just frightened but scared stiff, her dominance is total.

I have not had a release for several years; nothing happens anymore no matter how hard we try, as I am no longer needed as she has a lover and a boyfriend, she calls them big boy and machine gunner, the names say all you need to know. The dominance is not so much physical as phycological, I am TOTALLY BROKEN. I do not believe I could function without her anymore. All I want is to make love to her but know I cannot, the frustration is agonising as I bath her and help her get ready for her liaisons and then help her pack her bag for her overnight stays. The level of fear makes all this possible, the phycological dominance is all encompassing.

A real-life account: Spectrum – Pro Domme or long term DS relationship

I have received an interesting account from a BAV. One thing that interests me is that I find the long term relationship unclassifiable. Is Mistress Lacy a professional Dominatrix or is she a long term ‘partner’? I very much one aspect of this account. Mistress Lacy knew nothing of the experiences of domination and submission, but having been introduced to this has quickly found she adores absolute power and being very cruel. The account begins with Slave Chris answering one of the clarifying questions I asked him.

The Account

My apologies Mistress Scarlett, I missed that question. Yes if Mistress was to set me free tomorrow I would be bereft. I wear two ID tags, one on my chastity device and one on my permanent chain collar. Those tags mean everything to me, I love them, and no matter how harshly she treats me, no matter if she were to escalate things further still, I would not want to be set free – indeed if by someone bizarre fluke I managed to get close to paying the debt off, I would beg her to increase it before I was able to do so.

Mistress Scarlett, you often feature messages from people saying how they serve and I thought the following may be of interest. Whilst mine isn’t a relationship-based slavery it is just as all-encompassing as many, so hopefully you will enjoy it. I am 54 years old; Mistress is 34, I live in the UK.

I met the woman who was to become my Mistress just over two years ago. I had recently left the Mistress I saw previously due to a lot of personal issues that had developed between us (these have no place here) and so was looking for someone new. This lady was actually an escort who I approached via a well-known site as she offered domination. In our initial correspondence she had sounded promising although, if honest, I didn’t hold out too much hope I as I knew from bitter experience that so many can talk the talk but not walk the walk as it were. Anyhow, I visited and she was better than okay, she was fantastic – very much a learner but with huge amounts of promise – and so I asked her then and there whether she would be interested in a slave in an ongoing relationship and she said that she would, although she said I would need to help her learn. Everything that has happened since then has been by initial mutual discussion and then by her taking things to the nth degree.

Within two months I was locked in chastity, this was actually at her request on our second meeting as she stated that she didn’t want me masturbating between visits. Mistress threw one key away and told me firmly that if I ever tried to leave her, she would throw the other away too. As I wear a titanium padlock she didn’t care if I struggled to get out of my device. Since that day, I have cum four times – four times in two years, (I confess to laughing somewhat bitterly at subs who complain of having to wait weeks between relief) – and Mistress has made it clear to me that she considers this to be overly generous and is actually considering moving me to once a year! Of course, as for her, Mistress sleeps with who she wants and when she wants as she still works as an escort; she takes immense pleasure in grinding my nose in that fact and also in humiliating me with the fact that I couldn’t even PAY her to have sex with her, indeed I actually pay her NOT to do so! As the last time I actually had a sexual relationship was with someone almost 6 years ago I am very much a member of your BAV club!

Three months after I began chastity, we signed three contracts: a slavery contract, a blackmail contract and a debt contract, this was one of my first ‘mistakes’. Initially I committed to owing Mistress £5000 and agreed to be her slave until this was paid off, I agreed to Mistress collecting blackmail material to enforce this as well as agreeing to genuinely owe the sum and be liable to her claiming in it court should I attempt to leave. Mistress decides how much I get to pay off each month (this doesn’t come out of my visit fee) and as the debt now stands at just under £7000, I know that I am going nowhere for a long time, she promised me on signing it that the debt would go up more than down and like a fool I didn’t think she would be that cruel. I don’t know whether Mistress would use court and blackmail to enforce things but I believe that she would have no compunction in doing so! I used to fantasise about this situation but now know one should be careful what they wish for because the reality is often much, much worse. I genuinely don’t know how I shall clear that debt!

I pay to see Mistress once a month for three hours, all other visits are lifestyle visits and incur no charge. Each visit I pay off some of the debt, this can and has been as little as £10 or as much as £200, the figure is always random, however the debt has a monthly interest charge of 4.5%, it is this plus the fact that recently Mistress has started to impose random fines that has seen the initial figure of £5000 rise to its current figure of just under £7000. The original £5000 was agreed mutually and decided upon as a figure that I could reasonably expect to pay off in a few years if Mistress permitted my session fee to pay it. Whilst Mistress did not lie, she just never exactly said that the entirety of my session fee would be applied instead choosing to let me believe it would be – she was however completely honest when she told me that the debt was more likely to rise, I just didn’t listen.

Mistress has proven to be extremely sadistic, both physically and emotionally, and a very fast learner. Once we had signed the contracts, she told me that she wanted to know everything that I didn’t like, what I struggle with, what I fear as she no longer had any interest in pandering to my likes. As such it is these things that I experience when I visit her. Not for me is a nice sexy spanking with things that I can control no, when I visit, I suffer for the full time I am there. She shows absolutely zero mercy and I will take whatever she gives no matter how I plead. She has made it very clear that she takes a great deal of pleasure in my suffering! As an example, I have a belly button phobia (genuinely), Mistress will spend an entire session, three hours, just torturing mine; it is horrific and sometimes I genuinely think I will go insane at the things she does! I am always in bondage when tortured. Something I am grateful for as I am unsure I could practice self restraint once Mistress starts on my belly button – besides, Mistress likes to see me struggling, see me futilely trying to prevent her. She finds it highly amusing!

As far as other acts of sadism go Mistress uses electrics constantly, something that I HATE as I find it very difficult to cope, she beats the insides of my thighs which I have always struggled with and also the soles of my feet which in the past used to be a limit. Emotional cruelty tends to be around my sexual relief, driving home that I am never going to fuck, never getting out of chastity, ridiculing my cock and so forth. She also plays with my insecurities, my looks, my personal hygiene (I dread smelling as I am asnomic, this is fair game for her). As far as Mistress orgasming, no she does not do this in front of me as she doesnt deem me worthy of ever witnessing such.

But my visits aren’t just paid ones, I signed a contract of slavery with Mistress and as such I am used constantly! Mistress doesn’t drive so on my days off from work I attend to drive her to nail and hair appointments, throughout the week in the evenings I will drive her to her friends and wait for when she wants to go home, if she goes out to pubs and such with friends, I am their taxi, (Mistress has never had a problem with letting her friends know about me), if she doesn’t have appointments then my days off are spent doing her housework or working in her garden, I do her shopping and put it away – or I take her shopping, and for such trips I am ALWAYS collared, we may not behave in an overt fashion but my position is quite clear to others and she often gets smiles of amusement from other ladies. Basically, since signing the contract, Mistress does nothing any longer for herself – and why should she?

As well as that Mistress controls me even when I am away from her. In the very early days, I mentioned to her an idea I had long held of a never-ending line, a line that I must write every day without fail, not necessarily to a specific length, just something to tie my time up. As with everything Mistress took this idea and ran with it, nowadays I must write 550 lines daily, these lines must be dated and signed and must be photographed and sent to her by midnight – any later earns me punishment lines! (Midnight may sound generous but I do odd shifts, most days I don’t get home from work until 8, sometimes I start late and don’t get home until 11 so I must write in the mornings, believe me, meeting this target can be tough). As well as lines I regularly get a random essay assigned to me which must be worked on at the same time and returned usually within three days; I spend many a lunch hour at work working on these, Mistress wants my time tied up ALL the time – I don’t get to relax, ever! Once I earned punishment lines which had to be written simultaneously. For almost a week I missed the midnight deadline and so earned more punishment lines. Catching up was difficult to say the least and I do everything I can now to never repeat the experience!

On the constant occasions I have begged for leniency, begged her to stop this treatment, I am reminded that I asked for this, I am doing nothing that I have not told her I would like from such a relationship. I thought I would, I have of course learned differently, another case of being careful what you wish for – and of course the blackmail material she still continues to collect means that I have painted myself into a corner, I shall only leave when I pay off what I owe or if she grows bored of me – and I can see neither thing ever happening.

Making Comments on this post: Comments do not appear on my blog until I have moderated them. Comments that insult anyone will not be published, nor will aggressive comments, this blog is not Facebook or Twitter. A wide range of views is truly welcome, we all have things to learn, however comments will not be published that take a contrary view to that in the post but fail to explain why this contrary view is held, or fail to address the reasoning set out in the post to which the comment relates. Such comments are simply boring.

Delightful Little Humiliation

A small account from a dominated sissy in a long term relationship. Despite being a small account there are many aspects of it I adore. The Mistress is very cruel indeed I must say and Martha is very likely to be dominated by her.

The Account

Mistress Linda released me from chastity but my BAV status remains. To my dismay and humiliation my penis has shrunk to less than two inches and I am unable to erect. I masturbated for her and was able to ejaculate. Mistress thinks it is funny to watch me masturbate a soft penis. I am scheduled to visit my doctor about the inability to erect. This is going to be a humiliating visit. Mistress Linda has suggested I just learn to live with it. She of course has told her friends.

MS scarlet I am indeed also known as Martha. You are correct it is amusing at least to Mistress Linda and whoever she may be chatting with.

I have a little stool I sit on when I give foot rubs. Mistress uses it for a foot rest. I am required to lift her foot and place my little princess under the sole of her shoe. I remain in that position until she says “now” then I hump until she says “stop”. If she gets tired of this before I have cum, I am dismissed. If I do cum, I am punished and must clean her shoe and my little stool. I am required to consume my product. Mistress believes a sissy should become used to the taste of ejaculate.

As embarrassing as this all is, it is still attention and release, so I often ask for stool time


On another note, my Journal 19 was recently published.

My latest journal is now published and available on as a PAPERBACK and an ePub.

It is also available as a Kindle book on AMAZON.


In due course it will be available in Barnes and Noble, Nook, iTunes books, etc.

Always has been, and will always be, a virgin.

The relationship set out below, and some previous accounts of relationships, has led me to modify the BAV register. (Born again Virgin- BAV.)

The modification relates to the number of submissive males in long term relationships who entered their relationship as a virgin and their Domme is far higher than I ever imagined. Perhaps it goes without saying that I adore this scenario and regimen. Having thought about it, considering how pitiless and dominant I have become over the last decade, had I been single and formed a relationship with a submissive virgin during that decade, he would have found himself condemned to virginity for his entire life.

I can imagine the feelings this brings the Domme. I currently feel I am out of bitch-boy’s league through making comparisons, including our bodies and ages and sex lives. Imagining him as a real virgin too, to remain a virgin forever, I can see how even more aloof I would feel, compared to him. (Particularly, as I am free to have sex with whoever I want whenever I want.) I do get 90% of that feeling I imagine, through condemning him to his BAV status, but that extra 10% from him being a virgin from birth to death, that would be so very sweet. It is deliciously, pitiless and gratuitous control resulting in the sub having a lowly and incomplete status in this aspect of his existence.

The latest account of a relationship with a virgin from birth to death

FROM HIM: I recently started reading your blog (about a month ago) and commented for the first time the other day. As a submissive man in a female led relationship it is delightful to read your various blog entries and I must say that your regimen for bitch boy is truly a nirvana for men like me. Funnily my Mistress also calls me ‘bitch’, so it was easier for me to imagine myself in his predicament and pleasure


I found the BAV section the other day and the reason for my comment (my sincere apologies if it’s too lengthy and I’m wasting your time) is to ask if I may please be included in it.

I am not a born again virgin, I am simply a virgin. I met my Mistress during our first year at college, we were both teenagers. For the first few months we dated like a normal vanilla couple with lots of making out but we never went the full distance. I assumed it was because she was from a conservative/religious family and had some taboo regarding sex. Almost a year later I found out that she had had sex with other men before and her experiences were always painful, uncomfortable and traumatic. She had sworn off penetrative sex. I was heartbroken (I was 18 and my hormones were raging) but I loved her dearly and wanted to make it work.

She was always quite dominant and enjoyed bossing me around and while I enjoyed that very much I had never confessed my submissive fantasies to her or anyone else before. I took the risk and finally did do that (fully expecting to be dumped) but she took it with a surprisingly open mind.

A decade has passed since then and we are happily together. I am now fully her slave. I do almost all the chores at home, our finances are entirely managed by her and I get a weekly allowance, I wear a chastity cage 24×7 and am allowed orgasms only as a treat (usually once a month) while she has learned to use my tongue and her vibrators whenever she wants to cum. She has made it clear that she never wants to have penetrative sex ever again and I will thus remain a virgin till death.


Thank you for the response Mistress Scarlet. Bitch boy is really living a submissive man’s dream life and is so lucky to have you Mistress. I hope my partner and I progress to your level of femdom with time (we’re both 28).

You can call me ‘bitch’ in the register, that is what my Mistress calls me. I call my wife Mistress followed by her name always when no one’s around to hear. She’s quite private, so if you’d be so kind to consider using her initials instead of the full name I’d be grateful. Mistress M.

She honestly finds penises disgusting (I talked about her traumatic previous experiences) and thinks they’re much better off locked up. My penis is completely useless to her and even aesthetically she prefers it caged.

FROM MISTRESS M: Dear Ms Scarlet, this is M, bitch’s mistress wife. The first time I learned about you was when bitch bought a kindle version of your manual and it was such an illuminating read. So many new things to try on my poor boy, so many new insights. You are truly an inspiration. While English is not my native language, I’ll try to paint a picture of our relationship through a couple of significant milestones to the best of my abilities.

As bitch has said before, we have been together for 11 years now and he has been my submissive and later slave for almost a decade. We started our femdom journey rather young and have grown into it with time. He has always been very mild mannered, polite and respectful and that’s one of the things I loved about him when we started dating. One day (around three years into our relationship, he was already my sub but I had not embraced my role as his owner fully yet) we were attending a college lecture and during a break I ordered bitch to go bring me snacks.
‘Do you remember all the things I asked you to do?’
‘Yes, M.’
‘Ok. Return as fast as you can.’
‘Yes, M.’
‘What are you waiting for? Go.’ He ran.

One of our classmates seating nearby overheard the conversation and jokingly commented, ‘Omg, you’ve turned him into your total bitch.

While things have massively improved from what it used to be Ms Scarlet, most communities where I live are still heavily patriarchal. Openly ordering around your male partner is often eyed with derision. Anyways that sentence stuck in my head and I started calling him ‘bitch’ when in private. It was such a power rush. Being able to flip a derogative term used by misogynists for generations was oddly empowering. It’s also dehumanizing for the slave and helps them reach a deeper level of submission. And that’s what they want, don’t they? To be dehumanized, to be stripped off their identity, to exist as a bitch whose only purpose in life is to serve their superior. These days I hardly ever use his birth name.

Another important day is the one when he fully accepted that he will remain a virgin for the rest of his life.
Very early into our relationship, I told him that I was disinterested in penetrative sex. He found that very difficult to deal with but my bitch being the sweet boy that he is, tried to not show his feelings at all. Eventually he got over it but there was a tiny sliver of hope that I’d change my mind some day. Ms Scarlet, I find dicks repulsive. They’re just so damn ugly. I’ve seen you use the term ‘birth defect’ to describe your slave’s dick. I think that that’s the most apt term for the male appendage. They are indeed birth defects and when I learned about the existence of chastity cages, it was as if I discovered some promised land. bitch’s birth defect has thus been caged and locked since he was 23, we just had a 5 year anniversary of his confinement.

The day I’m talking about is almost a week after we got married. Marriages in my country are messy and exhausting and we hardly had any private time during the D-day as well as for many subsequent days. After the last of our relatives left we finally had the house to ourselves. After dinner I changed into a very sexy pink lingerie set I bought for the occasion, matched it with a pair of purple colored ankle boots, wore the key to his cage with a thick gold necklace I got as a wedding gift and waited for him in the bedroom as he did the dishes.
bitch entered the room and his eyes widened with lust and then like a moron forgot his position and years of training. Instead of kneeling down on the floor and kissing my boots like the slave he is, he jumped on the bed. I don’t know what he was thinking but it greatly irked me. In a matter of seconds he was kneeling in front of me.
‘What do you think you are doing bitch?’
‘I am sorry Mistress M. I was confused.’
‘What is so confusing bitch? Did you forget who you are slave?’
‘I am sorry Mistress M.’
‘What were you thinking? Did you think you would get to fuck me tonight?’

bitch hesitated for a good few seconds…’no?’

I gave him a tight slap across his face. And then another.

‘This is so disappointing bitch. You know very well how I feel about that.’
‘I am sorry Mistress M, I wasn’t thinking straight. This will never happen again.’
‘Of course it won’t. Now don’t speak unless I ask you to anymore. I had so much plans for tonight, I though I’d let you worship my body and if you were good I’d have unlocked you and used my hands to make you cum. But no, your ugly male lust got the better of you.’
He hung his head in shame.
‘Look at me loser. You are my slave, you subhuman pathetic piece of shit. I own you. I own your fucking dick. You will never ever fuck a woman. You are a virgin and you will die one. Do you understand?’
I slapped him hard once again. ‘Do you understand bitch?’
He nodded.

I left the room and changed out of my heels and lingerie into a comfortable t shirt. I took my time and came back after almost half an hour carrying a bunch of DS equipment. bitch was still kneeling in front of the bed, sobbing. I did not care or show any empathy. I curtly ordered him to strip, fold his clothes, go to one of the corners in the bedroom and kneel. First I made him put on his gimp mask and blindfolded him, then I gagged him. Next went the posture collar and the wrist cuffs. I was being very rough with him, I put his arms behind his back and attached a short chain to them. Then another chain that linked his collar ring to a hook in the wall.
‘Tonight would’ve been so much fun for you bitch. But you showed me you are not worthy of that, didn’t you? Now stay kneeling in that corner bitch for the rest of the night and think of your mistake. Fucking worm!’ I doom scrolled through Twitter for some time. It was already late, I closed the lights, took out my vibrator and had an intentionally loud couple of orgasms before drifting off to sleep.

Next morning I woke up late at around 8 and released bitch from his restraints but kept the mouth gag on. He looked like a broken man, exhausted from the kneeling and bondage and crying.
‘I hope you never pull such a stunt again again, do you understand bitch?’
He nodded.
I pulled his head up by tugging his hair and looked into his eyes. ‘And I also hope you have understood that there is no chance that your dick will ever enter a pussy.’ He looked very sincere and nodded.
‘Good boy.’ I opened his gag. ‘Now kiss my feet and thank me.’
He kissed with a lot of vigor even after the whole night’s torment and profusely thanked me. I could see his ‘birth defect’ trying to break through the cage. Slaves are such weird animals.
‘That will be enough. Now go make breakfast for me bitch, I am famished.’ He ran.

Ms Scarlet, maybe we will talk about bitch’s full daily regimen someday if you are interested but I wanted to make a final comment about his current chastity regime. He wears a cb-6000 cage 24×7, 365 days. If he’s been a good boy he gets unlocked once a month and I let him masturbate and cum. He of course has to swallow every last drop but he does get to have 9-10 orgasms a year. I used to think that was quite stern but after reading your blog entries, I feel like I have been pampering him. Especially your last post about not letting his birth defect even get erect was quite the exciting thought! I don’t know what I will do yet but I have already informed bitch that his days of masturbating will soon be over. Poor boy has been rather mopey since yesterday. I would love to implement what you have with your slave where he gets to cum only under the sole of your shoe. I’m just worried if bitch will be able to cum like that and if there’s a risk of injury. Otherwise the bottom of my shoe sounds like the perfect place for bitch’s birth defect.

Post update

The first comment I received on this post, I think is valuable to paste here, together with my reply.

FROM A BAV. The torment of remembering those exciting times of love play while having been in strict chastity for more than ten years now is intense.
There are times when I can hardly stand the cage, longing and suffering, knowing that penetration is unattainable forever.
So I feel that a real virgin – who has never felt the extasy of carnal lust – is better off than a BAV like me

MY REPLY. It is an interesting issue but after I pondered on it, I felt neither a virgin nor a BAV is in a position to say which is worse. I 100% accept all of your suffering reasons, like my puppet. But there are suffering reasons the virgin has that you do not. 1. Imagining what it must feel like and probably getting it quite right, as to what they are missing. 2. Knowing that, whereas a BAV at least experienced penetrating a woman, probably hundreds of times at least before coming a BAV, a virgin has to deal with how they will never experience penetrating a woman, not even once for a second.
We can never know the answer, but I am guessing each is suffering to a huge degree.

Two videos to find

The followers of this blog are an amazing resource. I hope you can be again, regarding this post.

By coincidence, two videos have come up for different reasons that I can no longer find on the internet.

The most inescapable chastity device lock-up routine

A very frequent commenter, fluffy, is currently reading my recently published journal, No.19. He asked, regarding one of the journal entries, ‘….By chance, is the caging video clip still available please?‘ In the journal I describe a video I had seen as follows.

(Like most chastity devices, it had a ring behind the balls already in place at the start of the video. A quite short cage section was then fitted over the penis.  The cage section had a bent urethra insert pipe, so as the cage was pushed up, engulfing the penis, the pipe went inside the length of the urethra, just as a catheter does. As the pipe was bent in shape, it forced the penis into a bent shape, pointing down to the floor. The cage was then secured to the ring behind the balls with a lock that was part of the cage structure, and a long key was inserted, rotated and removed. AND THEN, the woman’s hands ran one of two wires from a uniquely numbered metal tag though the keyhole and then twisted the two wires together with pliers. Neat and tidy, preventing even the tiniest hint of an erection, no restriction on urinating, AND TOTALLY INESCAPABLE.)

This video used to be on my BDSMLR site in November 2002, but got taken down by the website. There are partial GIFS of the video on BDSMLR but they fail to do justice to this device and lock up routine.

It is a video I deeply regret not getting bitch-boy to ‘download’ when it was available. fluffy wants to see it. Can anyone help please?

Tease and Denial and never allowed an erection

The second video is one I saw some time ago and it is available to buy, but from a site to which I do not want to send my payment details. (I am VERY, VERY cautious! It is how I am.) I did post about and another video in 2020 and also provided a link to a GIF of it.

This came up because I was idly fantasising, as I often do, about new ways to torment my puppet, and while I am often able to make those fantasies then become a reality, to make this one a reality, I would need to win the lottery I think. I was idly fantasising about how devastated my puppet is over not being allowed an erection for quite some time now. And that is linked to relentless visual teasing by me and me having a good many orgasms to rub his nose in the vast chasm of difference between my sex life and his. A recent visual tease session with me, standing in my bedroom mules and posing and using my hands on myself as a female lover of mine might, actually produced tears in the corners of his eyes.

So this second video relates to a fantasy of mine of financially affording to have a young, cruel, very attractive babysitter on call for when I go out and leave my puppet home alone. I have contacted a number of dominatrices in the past for this role as a one-off experience, but none of the local ones will make house calls of any sort. I wonder if a simple escort service could provide the right female? Anyhows, either way, it seems to make it a one-off, let alone a regular thing would mean throwing a great deal of money at it and more than I can afford. The video to which I am referring, my memory of which popped into my head, has the perfect babysitter female, perfectly dressed and with a perfect attitude, and the male is deeply humiliated, diaper changed and in a chastity device he does not get out of for even a second.