This blog section will be devoted to persuading and assisting other women to adopt the sort of lifestyle I enjoy. I can say with some smugness that I am the most content and happy woman I know. So many other women could enjoy the life I enjoy. I will add to this section from time to time.
You may be a single woman looking for Mr Right. You may be married to a submissive man. You may be married to a weak man who you do not want to separate from, but for whom you have very little or no respect. Perhaps in addition, he is addicted to food or alcohol or gambling or infidelity.
This blog section will be written on the basis that you have a submissive man but it will be relevant to all the situations I have described above.
My bitch-boy is submissive. He has told me he knew this before puberty. He knows he thought submissively about women when he was 9 or 10 years old. He knows this for certain because it was before he joined senior school.
He has a submissive soul. He cannot be content without being controlled and dominated. If he is treated with cruelty, that is a clear reinforcement of how helpless his situation is and it increases his sense of being controlled. He truly hates many of his punishments, my tortures, his humiliations and his endless chores. BUT, I know his soul is content. There are little signs. Not least of which, his worship and awe of me. If your man is truly submissive (and so many are) he will never actually be truly content without true domination – be warned.
I WANT A HUSBAND, NOT A DOORMAT!
Several times I have posted on women’s blogs who are playing at domination or chastity control and, in response to a question they pose, I have set out a view of taking the steps required to move from a game to real domination. I often receive the response – I want a husband, not a doormat.
If only these women understood that a man dominated, punished and humiliated at home (or at selected friends’ homes) can still be your knight in shining armour when the need arises. My bitch-boy happens to be the most intelligent and courageous person I have ever met. Should we find ourselves in a dodgy part of a city at night, for instance, there is no one I would feel more secure with. If I have a tedious problem to resolve, he takes on anyone or any organisation on my behalf, with assertiveness and solutions to problems.
So I say to these women that play games. You can have your cake and eat it.
I am often asked by Dommes wanting to go for the full lifestyle, whether that means they must miss out on the companionship of their sub. I always respond by explaining how I carry on enjoying bitch-boy’s vanilla companionship WHEN I CHOOSE. I explain that there are times when I don’t do anything other than “hang out” with my sub. For example, sometimes, I get home from work and tell him that I can do whatever I want with him because I own him and tonight I am going to use him for his vanilla company. Its that simple for me. The same for family or work functions. bitch-boy is very intelligent and cultured so when watching a film or eating out at a very good restaurant, I want his vanilla company – his interesting and wise thoughts on what we are experiencing. Also, I like comedy – stand-up comedy and some TV series. Who wants to laugh alone?? So I will use bitch-boy for his vanilla company during comedy entertainment.
If we eat at a hotel with a top restaurant, I will tie him up and gag him on the bed at say, 6:00pm. I will give him a harsh dose of dickie-discipline. I will orgasm. Then I will release him and I tell him I now want his vanilla company while we eat the meal. bitch-boy understands that he is mine to use in any way I wish 24/7/365 and he understands that use includes that I will use him for his vanilla company at my whim.
MAKE IT REAL DOMINATION
Your man needs to feel 100% helpless and trapped. This is easy to achieve. For instance, start playing some bondage games and /or dress up games. Take a photo or two. Put the photos on a flash drive/memory stick and hide it away, or just tell him you have done so. Threaten to send the photos to someone or several people he would dread receiving them. Explain you have changed fundamentally and now cannot enjoy or contemplate the relationship without being the dominant partner and so you are 100% serious. Leave him in no doubt. A submissive man will be in awe of your actions and threats, especially if he knows the threats are not idle. Other men will quickly accept the situation. Like a wolf or chimpanzee in a pack, when a man knows his place in the hierarchy he is at ease.
Begin conditioning. Men, like Pavlov’s dogs, can be conditioned over time. You can move their sense of reality. Punish infractions with punishments that he is truly frightened of and desperate to avoid. Over time, doing all the chores becomes a normal (though dull) part of his life and there is an acceptance in him that that is the way it is. The same phenomenon applies to waiting on you hand-and-foot and to his restricted sexual relief and freedom. Get a chastity device. One involving a piercing is best. You will soon begin to experience the rush of having true power over another human being. Power is a huge rush and an aphrodisiac. It has been enjoyed, as such, by men over women for millennia, now women can enjoy it and become aroused and satisfied by it too.
Begin to experiment with your cruelty and sadism. In my early years of dominance, I could not bring myself to accept that I was a sadist. I found the word to be very distasteful. I was still foolishly fettered by society’s norms and standards. But after frequent experiences of intense arousal while inflicting physical or mental pain on my bitch-boy, I accepted that I was a sadist and that I loved sadism. Perhaps it is simply that sadistic activity signifies true power and it is the power that is the aphrodisiac? I don’t know or care.
Being sensitively woken and given tea or coffee in bed every morning. Being waited on hand and foot. Being utterly worshipped in mind and body. As many orgasms on demand as one could want. No household chores. No tedious paperwork or junk mail to deal with. A social life wholly of your choices. A 100% trustworthy partner who will never be unfaithful. Other sexual partners (in my case always female). The intense pleasures of power and sadism.
IT IS NOT FREE RIDE
Effort is required to maintain the lifestyle. Rules have to be written and it is critically important that all infractions receive punishment, although they can be written down for later delivery. I have to be sensitive to what is going on in bitch-boy’s head, and if I think awe or obedience is waning, I have to take action. I also think I have a responsibility to add new things from time to time, to keep things fresh. Bringing in other women can be time consuming and requires patience to find the right women. (But when you do, what a living nightmare it is for the poor sub and what a delight it is for you. Experiences that really keep the sub’s head in the right place!) Not for everyone, but for me, lots of physical exercise to keep my body in great shape. This adds to my power and assists when teasing and denying bitch-boy. But the lifestyle can easily be achieved without this facet. I wear high-heels more often than I otherwise would. But all this effort on my part is rewarded 1000 fold by my quality of life.
THERE IS RISK
Skiing off-piste, offering unconditional love in a vanilla relationship, playing contact sports – all these things carry a risk but many people take the risk to obtain the rewards. Adopting a life style like mine carries a risk.
I will leave it there for now but will add more in this section in due course.