The amazing Samantha’s first contribution was on 5th January. Her second was on 31st January. We now have her third contribution and, oh my, how things progress at a pace for her pleasure and for poor, (but lucky), pipsqueak’s subjugation! I need say no more than leave you to enjoy this post from a very intelligent and very dominant woman who knows what she wants and what she deserves.
I have learned the value and enjoyment of tedium relatively recently. When pipsqueak and I began a little over a year ago, we mainly explored D/s via role plays, a few times a month, and sex ‘play’. Frankly, vanilla times still dominated our life. Only chastity was 24/7 and even in that area I was lenient, to an extent I was topped from the bottom, as I followed his body language about when he needed relief.
I agree with Christine M and others it is in many ways an odd aspect for a dominant to enjoy. It feels mean and somewhat pointless. But once one starts playing with tedious chores and mind-numbing activities to any extent, it can become addictive. That’s my experience anyway. Role plays are a diminishing part of our life together, as are vanilla times. There is much less definition between activities now. 2020 is the year of blurred lines into a 24/7 lifestyle.
Pipsqueak, my husband, started this on his terms. I have gradually taken over on my terms. Therefore it’s much more about what I want now. I do still enjoy vanilla times and that will never change. I’m simply not into having a perma-doormat. But I demand and expect a much more constant arrangement than he originally envisaged. Tedium has the double benefit of giving me freedom whilst keeping him out of mischief. It has also changed both our mindsets.
Being 62 and retired, pipsqueak had lots of time on his hands. I found myself slowly adding aspects to make things harder, and ratcheting up my standards. I also changed my attitude. I began by being overly grateful as he took over chores from me; washing up, cleaning, polishing, ironing, even cooking to an extent. I’d be appreciative, thinking that would encourage him to do more and better. But I had an epiphany a few months ago and almost overnight started using the stick, not carrots, to manage him. Scarce orgasms are carrots enough without smiles, saying well done or thank you.
Scarlet has been helping me with my residual pangs of guilt about this lifestyle. These came about as I transitioned from casual to permanent Domme. Thanks to her I decided to put pipsqueak back to work. In truth, there was no way I could generate enough tedium in his daily life at home with me. Also, when he first retired, I enjoyed having him home all day after all those years commuting and at work. But as the months passed, I enjoyed more solitude again. So at Scarlet’s brilliant suggestion I recently found him a menial job at a Care Home. He now reports to a woman housekeeper and cleans patients’ bathrooms 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, according to a rota. It’s early days but I’m loving everything about it.
One might have thought it would be reasonable to reduce his workload at home to compensate. Not a bit of it. He no longer has to make us lunch, which is a cutback of sorts. But he’s now like most working husbands in D/s marriages, completing his chores in the evenings and at weekends. My new favorite moment of the day is when he gets home and comes into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. He finds the sink full of used mugs, cups, saucers, glasses, plates, cutlery and pans I’ve used during the day and stacked there for him. It’s such a simple but emphatic way of letting him know who’s in charge.
As Christine comments, there was a time when pipsqueak too might have sighed and rolled his eyes at what we called ‘my tricks’. No longer. I use sticks to ensure that he accepts all his tasks without showing any protest or rudeness. In fact, my goal isn’t merely to stop him showing opposition. It’s to stop him even feeling it. What is the norm now must feel like normality as well.
I agree the thrill is partly the power. I make the mess he tidies. I wear the clothes. He washes and irons. I use the toilet. He scrubs. But it’s more than that for me. It’s also partly payback after three decades of a traditional, patriarchal marriage, which I loved and resented at the same time. And it’s a sadistic buzz. My libido has been turned on its head these past 12 months. I’m sure that’s almost entirely due to our lifestyle. Like others, I find being orally worshipped at night, when pipsqueak is exhausted by chores, has a special thrill that nothing else compares with. I’ve been lying on the sofa watching TV and finishing my wine in preparation for sex, while he’s been mopping and wiping and ironing. And I can’t help chuckling that, deep down, this is what pipsqueak actually wants, even if he hates it.