Tag Archives: denial

Declarations and Domme’s Orgasms

I received the comment below and felt my lengthy answer really desrved to be a blog post rather than be hidden away as a comment response. So here is the comment I received followed by my answer.

Dear Mistress Scarlet,

If I may, I would like to make one comment and pose one question.

Firstly, I would like to comment on the life-changing power, perhaps under-appreciated by some, of the making of a formal declaration. It is one thing to see that a change (such as ever-lengthening delay between release) has ‘crept into’ your life; and to be told, in bold and explicit terms, that such the change is deliberate, recognised to be unfair, and utterly permanent. I have seen that a number of times in my relationship, most recently when Mistress announced that I was a Born-Again Virgin.

With an undeclared change, the sub can always cling onto the idea that it is temporary, inadvertent, or a mistake. That hope is dashed with a formal declaration. I also wonder what effect that has on the dominant woman. Which brings me onto my question…

In many posts and in your books, you state that increasing levels of dominance and cruelty ‘ratcheted up’ your sexual (and other forms of) satisfaction with your relationship with BB. But, on hearing about the frequency and intensity of your enjoyment, one rationalisation is that this must be because you (Mistress Scarlet) are an unusual and rare woman who just has the capacity for multiple frequent orgasms, and so other women cannot replicate similar levels of enjoyment.

So could I ask you to please clarify (and yes, I am aware that this question has overtones of the line from Life of Brian ‘If it’s not a personal question: are you a virgin?’) if, before you discovered BDSM, were you someone who had an unusual capacity for fulfillment from vanilla sex? Or (as I suspect) were you previously a person with a fairly ordinary level of response, and attribute your current degrees of arousal and satisfaction entirely to the levels of sadism and dominance which you practice? To put it another way, do you have an unusual responsiveness to the ‘drug’ or is it a medication from which anyone from benefit?

My Answer

An indication of how much I agree with you about the value and significance of declaring changes which are intended to be permanent, is that two chapters of my new publication, Addendum No.1, deal with this topic. Not just deal with it but provide suggestions to maximise the impact. The first section is about Recording Dates of the last time ever of an activity, so that anniversaries can be ‘celebrated’. The second is about A Cruel Countdown Procedure that can be used in the lead up to the last time ever of an activity. Neither can be employed without a declaration.

Putting aside the huge effect on bitch-boy of having made a declaration, the effect on me of having made a declaration is very powerful indeed. Having made my six week minimum gap for orgasms declaration; I feel totally pitiless, all powerful, decadent and truly cruel. A heady cocktail of feelings that do lead to arousal. Which brings me to orgasms for Dommes. (I sense you may have read my latest publication?)   In Addendum No.1, there is a large chapter on enhancing the number and intensity of the Domme’s orgasms.  

Although you ask very personal questions, I feel I must answer them to further my crusade to have more women enjoy the number and intensity of orgasms I enjoy. My story does cover the key issues. Firstly, I do not have a rare and unusual capacity for numerous, powerful orgasms. I do know what prevented me from so being, until my eyes were opened to a few facts.

Until I met bitch-boy I had never masturbated and had had hardly any orgasms; although I had boyfriends from the age of 15 and then a husband. (So no, I certainly am not a virgin!) BUT, the first night I spent with bitch-boy, I had more orgasms that one night than I had previously had, added together, in the whole of my life before that night. No wonder I fell for him!

This brings me to the first AND CRITICAL FACT that applies to me and to every single woman I have ‘converted’ over this fact. Relying solely on penetrative orgasms is a huge mistake. Clitoral orgasms is where intensity and large numbers of orgasms are found for most women. bitch-boy being submissive, (unbeknown to me at the time), had his head between my thighs that first night and kept it there for a LONG, LONG time. (I was much younger than him with an amazing body, I can understand he was driven by his submissiveness to secretly worship me that night the best he knew how.) He also told me that night that I should not attempt to have him get as much pleasure as me, because men are built for one orgasm and women are built for many. I felt it was unfair on him but he insisted and I went with it. Look where that has ended up! (Be careful what you wish for.)

A few years later when my dominance and his submission had begun in earnest, I read an article that set out how dominant women should masturbate because of the number and intensity of orgasms that are possible – without a man’s assistance! The article also suggested it is optimal to use a vibrator wand. (It suggested a Hitachi 5000- it was years ago.)

I experimented and the article changed my life! Then once I began to become a SERIOUS Domme; unsympathetic and unashamed in wielding power, gratuitously, cruelly and pitilessly, I understood the saying, ‘power is an aphrodisiac’. It certainly is! I am not alone by any means in my orgasm numbers. Every single Domme with whom I have engaged in relevant conversations, who uses a wand and who masturbates, enjoys the number and intensity of orgasms I do. I should stress this masturbation is most often in front of one’s submissive; it is not exclusively performed alone, although I do both.


Making Comments on posts: Comments do not appear on my blog until I have moderated them. Comments that insult anyone will not be published, nor will aggressive comments. A wide range of views is truly welcome, we all have things to learn, however comments will not be published that take a contrary or critical view to any aspect of a post, but fail to explain why this contrary view is held, or fail to address the reasoning set out in the post to which the comment relates. (Such unexplained contrary comments are simply boring.)

Another big step change

Three weeks ago, 6th May, I made another step-change in my chastity and denial regimen for poor bitch-boy. A big one, that I will describe shortly in this post. It is not big in comparison to the regimen of the puppets of Miss Anne, or of Christine M, or of Brigite, but for bitch-boy it is HUGE. And for me too.

I will also use this post to mention that last September I began collecting entries for a new Journal. (It will be Journal No. 18.) But I only write an account for a journal if it involves something new, so given the lock-down, there had not until recently been many new things to write about. I mention the forthcoming journal because it is easiest for me to describe the latest step-change by way of an excerpt from the draft Journal No. 18 which describes events on the 6th May this year.

I don’t think I have ever made clear in this blog that on the 6th June 2020 I started a new chastity and denial regimen for bitch-boy. The two ‘new’ aspects were he was not allowed out of his cage even to wash his genitals, (he could do so between the cage bars), and, instead of having an orgasm, as a general rule every 10 days to 2 weeks, the denial periods became much, much longer. (This is all set out in detail in the impending Journal No. 18)

(In the 11 months of that new regimen up to 6th May 2021, he had only cum 5 times. On 6th May 2021 he had been 8.5 weeks without orgasm and he has still not had an orgasm as of the date of this post and he knows he will not be getting one until at least 7th June at the very earliest. The 6th June 2021 is his one year anniversary of his new chastity and denial regimen. )

Excerpt from my forthcoming Journal No.18, for 6th May 2021


I stood in front of the full-length mirror looking at myself and I called him up to me. He entered the room and I heard him emit an outbreath of emotion. I turned to him and, while I spoke to him, I began the pose routine I had used earlier.

                ‘Am I beautiful puppet? Do I make you desperate?’ He was almost sobbing as he emotionally answered in the affirmative. I stayed my distance so he could take in all of my body without having to look up and down.

                Given your age and your shape, I am totally out of your league aren’t I. You are so, so privileged to be married to me, with a body like this. Far more than you deserve. And that’s why you have to suffer isn’t it. Suffer for the privilege. Suffer a great deal. Like you are suffering now.’ I paused and he actually started making sobbing noises of, I assumed, sexual frustration. I was REALLY enjoying myself.

Well I have made a decision and I thought it only right I should be looking my most sexy when I advised you of this decision. You know in the last eleven months you have gone between six weeks and seventeen weeks between orgasms. And you know I am almost certainly moving you to a state of never having an orgasm again for the rest of your life. Well, your orgasm frequency this past eleven months has all been quite haphazard and while I am happy with that as a way forward in general, I have decided you will never, for the rest of your life, cum without at least a six week gap since the previous orgasm.’ He began to breathe in short gasps. He was about to speak but instead I continued.

The only way that will change is the six weeks will be increased. Increased to two months, three months, six months? I don’t know yet when or how big the first increase will be. Perhaps I will jump from six weeks straight to six months! And obviously the minimum period of six weeks will still only be the minimum denial period. You will frequently go periods of much longer than whatever the minimum period is at the time. Two orgasms six weeks apart will most likely be a very rare treat.’ He dropped to his knees, close to tears. My formalisation of what had been a random minimum was devastating for him. He has learned so many times that when there is a click of the ratchet, it NEVER gets clicked back.  My cunt was now very wet! He crawled to me and began kissing my feet while begging me to reconsider. He was holding onto my long heels while he kissed and begged. My only response was to tell him to let go of my heels. He did so and he put his palms flat on the floor. I remained silent. I simply looked down at him begging and worshipping in his state of extremely emotional distress. Such was my arousal I actually put my finger to my clit and very gently stroked while I looked down at my distressed puppet as he continued kissing my feet and pleading. I lived in the moment relishing my feelings of cruelty, absolute power and unreserved heartlessness.


I should add that my orgasm count has increased quite dramatically as a result of his new denial regimen. Vanilla days before his new regimen, I almost never had an orgasm. I now have 2 or 3 orgasms on around 80% of vanilla days. And I tease him with my body for at least 5 minutes, around 80% of vanilla days. His constant and extreme sexual frustration and his suffering as a result, has me aroused every time I think about the cruelty of it and think about my levels of pitiless cruelty, my power over him and the extreme unfairness – Just from vanilla days each week, I have more orgasms than he will have in three years. And more orgasms every single DS day than he will have in 2 years.


Making Comments on posts: Comments do not appear on my blog until I have moderated them. Comments that insult anyone will not be published, nor will aggressive comments. A wide range of views is truly welcome, we all have things to learn, however comments will not be published that take a contrary or critical view to any aspect of a post, but fail to explain why this contrary view is held, or fail to address the reasoning set out in the post to which the comment relates. (Such unexplained contrary comments are simply boring.)

Findings – ‘Like it never happened’

Well the responses to my research post of 20 April 2021 were large in number, (thank you all), and fascinating in content; and there was a consistent experience of the phenomenon researched, by all but one of the many submissives who responded. That phenomenon is; that for 99% of submissive males, if they are denied orgasm for around three or four weeks or more, then a desperate sexual frustration builds up, THAT IS ONLY RELIEVED FOR AN HOUR OR SO AFTER AN ORGASM. THEN THE FRUSTRATION FULLY RETURNS AS THOUGH THEY NEVER HAD THAT ORGASM.

It is the words in bold that are important. This phenomenon was reported to me by my bitch-boy and it seems is just about universally experienced. This is good to know if you are a Domme, because there is a clear interconnection between a submissive’s level of desperate sexual frustration and how submissive and obedient he feels and how in awe of his Mistress he feels. Many, like bitch-boy, felt the pre-orgasm level of frustration/submissiveness return in less than an hour after orgasm, (poor puppets), if the orgasms are at least four weeks apart.

If you have not read all the comments on my post of 20 April, you may find them worth a read, both from the point of view of learning about this issue but also because there are some very cruel Mistresses, enforcing some very harsh regimes, that make for quite a hot read! Regular readers will know I made a huge step change with bitch-boy’s chastity regime on 6 June last year. Hence this issue arose. The bullet points are excerpts from some of the comments.

There is an issue regarding prostate health that each person involved must take a view on, but I again provide a link, to a post about recent prostate health research, particularly for the under 30s.

I thank you sincerely if you responded on this issue.

  • According to my Mistress’ philosophy, men should be lifelong deprived of ejaculation, as that is the only way to keep them continuously on edge and totally focused on their Mistress’ desires.She says (Miss B) that the mental agony of waiting for an orgasm is more powerful when the period of abstinence is rather short, but when the chastity is extended for a lifetime, there are other ways to torture mentally the slave, bringing him fruitlessly to the edge, (depending also on his inborn fetishes) like showing herself nude or masturbating,wearing leather or lace lingerie, getting him sniff her at close distance, but without touching, rubbing his cock under the sole of her boots, etc.This year, on October 16th, will mark the 8th year of my total chastity. In a way it’d be almost better… if it weren’t for Mistress that, taking off my spiked cage for a few minutes, crushes and rubs my cock with her boots, when she feels in a playing mood…
  • I really I would like to know the answer. I tend more to allow a very rare orgasm just to put him in mental agony and remind him of what he loses.
  • If I make a remark [about my level of suffering] I am either ignored or get a sarcastic answer. Compassion is out
  • My wife only allows one orgasm per month, but it is always ruined. Almost immediately I crave another orgasm, and for a few days afterwards I’m more desperate to cum than I was before, and can’t stop thinking about it. But that might also be because of the way she makes me cum and the ‘shame’ involved, which is very affecting at the time.
  • my Wife has grown accustomed to ruining them. Right after that, i really want that second orgasm and her denying it without pity really is the key to keeping me in subspace.
  • ….In effect, my chastity device became a refuge from her torture. After a couple years of this treatment, she concluded I would be happier if my penis were left alone, and she quit releasing me. I have now been continuously locked for over three years, and she has shifted her attention to torturing my testicles regularly. She has always enjoyed playing with them while she has considered penises symbols of female oppression.
  • Since 2002 she has kept me locked all the time with releases about once a month if I was good up until 2019. She upgraded me to a custom fit Cherry Keeper device and extended my releases to only one every two months.

Making Comments on this post: Comments do not appear on my blog until I have moderated them. Comments that insult anyone will not be published, nor will aggressive comments. A wide range of views is truly welcome, we all have things to learn, however comments will not be published that take a contrary or critical view to any aspect of the post, but fail to explain why this contrary view is held, or fail to address the reasoning set out in the post to which the comment relates. (Such unexplained comments are simply boring.)


For info on my BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.

Miss Anne’s, worm’s and mother-in law’s – lockdown life. Pt 1.

Another update from the wonderful Miss Anne. This is a link to the last post that featured Anne. And another link to the post before that. What follows next is part 1 of her account:


For 6 months now I have been living in strict lockdown with my beloved mother and my slave-husband, “worm”, in a single-family house that provides perfect privacy. In this private environment, I can enjoy many BDSM activities with my slave during the day and at night. The power and control over the slave have become tighter and I really wonder where he finds the stamina and courage to endure this highly unforgiving, pitiless and humiliating daily routine.

It is clear that what dear Ms. Scarlet often blogs about is true, the more severe, harsh, and unforgiving I become towards him, the more awe he feels for me, the greater becomes his submission and blind obedience to my cruel will and whims. Allow me to review since I haven’t blogged about my life and experience with the slave in a while. Of course, he always wears a tight and short chastity belt that really limits his ability to get an erection to a minimum, and to put it elegantly it is a totally uncomfortable cage for his cock.

His last orgasm was in January 2020. Yes, you read that right ha-ha, the poor boy hasn’t emptied his swollen and aching balls in 15 months. No ruined orgasm, no prostate milking, no other drainage for his balls. Just constant and relentless teasing for the slave, he hasn’t even experienced an erection in all that time. If it gives him any pleasure, the only pleasure is to remove his chastity belt for 5-10 minutes at the end of each month, provided he is extremely obedient, humble, hardworking, and demonstrates exemplary behavior suitable for a slave for the entire month. When the chastity belt comes off, his hands are tied behind his back, I place an ice cube bag around his testicles, and in this way, I prevent any erection, hence any pleasure he might feel.

For him of course, even so, even for 5 minutes without the chastity belt is 5 minutes in comfort and bliss. Poor little slave… How can he take such abuse? How can he stand to live in this misery? Is the mind and soul of a submissive man an abyss after all or is it not? I sense and have discussed it with him and he confirms that he would not change this life for all the gold, luxuries, and comforts of the world!

Another aspect I want to raise is this. I don’t know what is in place in your countries and how married men think. In my country, most married men often complain or curse or hate their mothers-in-law and think that they stand in the way of their happiness and a harmonious marriage and that they influence their wives. This is not the case with my husband. I swear, you will not find another man in the whole world who adores his mother-in-law so much, so incredibly and indescribably! Ha-ha-ha-ha! You will not find another man who obeys his mother-in-law so blindly. You will not find another man who takes such great and good care of his mother-in-law. You will not find another man who shudders in fear when his mother-in-law simply pouts or much more raises her tone of voice; ha-ha.

Of course, my mother also takes good care of the needs of her son-in-law and slave. There isn’t a day that she doesn’t impose educational punishments, various humiliating tasks, and instructions, advice, and orders.

We are a happy family living in perfect harmony, without friction and quarrels. All this would not be possible if we did not live in an FLR marriage. I am lucky and grateful to my slave who introduced me to this wonderful life and believe me: I would never go back to my previous life, I could not last an hour in a vanilla relationship.

I once again express my thanks to Ms. Scarlet and all the wonderful dominant women on this blog and to some kind and conscientious subs and slaves who participate here and with their writings have helped me to strengthen and deepen my dominance over my slave. As I am not fluent in the English language, I am not able to write long messages. This takes up a lot of my time and energy. If there is interest I could continue, describing some moments from our daily life in lockdown.

NOTE: My mother is 20 years senior to the slave. The life I describe is real and not a fiction story. That means there is no sexual service of any kind from the slave to my mother. I would not allow, nor would she tolerate, such a thing.

Of course, it is an intimate relationship as the slave performs maid duties in my house giving her body and feet massage, take care of her feet and hands, comb her hair, and similar maid services. He helps her to take her bath and in dressing her but the slave is always blindfolded in these situations. When he lived with us only as a slave, before we were married, I speculate that there may have been more intimacy between them, I never asked or discussed this with my mother for obvious reasons.

My mother, despite her age, is still a charming woman, but clearly an elderly woman. I don’t know if the slave finds her attractive or not, I don’t care, and nor does it matter.
He is a slave and will serve her to the last moment of her life.

Making Comments on this post: Comments do not appear on my blog until I have moderated them. Comments that insult anyone will not be published, nor will aggressive comments. A wide range of views is truly welcome, we all have things to learn, however comments will not be published that take a contrary or critical view to any aspect of the post, but fail to explain why this contrary view is held, or fail to address the reasoning set out in the post to which the comment relates. (Such unexplained comments are simply boring.)

Christine’s David draws a ……

I have nothing to add to this fantastic account from Christine M other than to provide a link to the related previous post from Christine. Enjoy; I certainly did!

We made David’s Sunday draw in bed around 9-30 am, after he had spent quite some time pleasuring me to several orgasms. I am not sure who was most surprised, when his draw popped up, granting him a release! One of his two possible releases in a year. It seems there had been purpose to his prior expectations of early success. He was wide-eyed with elation after 13-months without a release.

We had been out together all-day Saturday and had had vanilla nights at home on both the Friday and Thursday evenings so; David had a full-on day of chores ahead. I advised him he could plan on getting his release ‘this evening’ and that, since he had gone for so long without a release, ‘I would make it very special for him!

He worked tirelessly all day, but it was still close to eight o’clock before he got around to starting on the ironing. He still had a good two-hours’ worth to do, when I went in a ½ hour later. I pleasantly advised him that he could “leave that for now”, as I had everything ready for his release, if he would like to join me in my office. He of course followed excitedly behind me.

I was dressed in a long, billowy cotton kaftan, with a floral design. Nothing sexy, I like it as it is stylish and kind of conceals my large behind. On entering the room, he started to tremble, and his smile vanished, as he stared in dismay at the full screen image displayed on my large computer monitor. This showed by sister, who was connected by FaceTime! He looked at me aghast but knew better than to complain.

I smiled over at him and warmly advised, “Since this is such a rare and special occasion, I just knew you would want to share it… And (my sister) was pleased to accept your invitation. We’ve been chatting for a while and, as you can see, in honour of the occasion, we have both opened a bottle of champagne to celebrate… in fact, we’re each three glasses in, and probably a little tipsy! Now… don’t be rude, say ‘Hello’ to (my sister) and let her know how glad you are that she could join us.” Blushing profusely and stuttering, he reluctantly, but politely, did as he was told. 

I then explained how everything had been set up. His flesh-lite was secured tightly to his punishment bed, so he could kneel in front of it and penetrate it without needing to hold it…. “and… I’ve turned the bed round, so you will be directly facing your audience.” He was looking terribly uncomfortable and tried to plead that he really was too embarrassed to come in front of someone else. I dispassionately dismissed his concern.

In front of my giggling sister and her ‘cat-calls’, I had him lower his three pairs of panties to his ankles, and then pull his skirt and slip up high and out of the way at the front, where I secured them in place with two large safety pins. That morning, I had had him wear a garter belt, rather than his usual girdle, to hold up his stockings; so, his chastised appendage was now fully exposed. I then cuffed his hands behind his back, before unlocking and removing his chastity device. Needless to say, a few tweaks of his nipples and his defect sprung proudly erect. “Well,” I grinned, “your little bit of gristle certainly wants to show off to (my sister)!”

My sister was by now joining the conversation with various disparaging remarks, mocking that. “.. it wasn’t anything to ‘show off”; but it did look all girly and cute being so clean shaven, “It certainly doesn’t look like it belongs to a real man! And it’s so small!” she snickered as he went a deeper shade of red.

We then mocked him about being a BAV and laughed at how he only got to jerk off twice a year at most. “What a little Nancy you are!” she laughed as she sipped her champagne, “It’s a good job you have a tongue!

I then put two condoms on it before advising that, since it had been so long since his last release, I had better remind him of his rules. I sternly warned, “You have one-minute. You are not to let your organ so much as brush against the flesh lite until after I press my stopwatch and tell you, ‘Go’. If you start even a fraction of a second too early, your release will immediately end, and you will be punished. So, keep it at least 6-inches away. Once I say ‘Go’, you can start thrusting away to your hearts content. I will countdown the last five seconds, and you need to have pulled out BEFORE I advise, ‘Stop’, or you will be very, very severely punished.” He was looking ever so nervous now, trying to not look into my sister’s smiling face, positioned right in front of him.

“My, my” she laughed sarcastically, before breathlessly proclaimed in mock wonderment, “…what a stud you must be… can you really last a whole minute?” If it were possible to blush a deeper shade of red, he would have; especially as I added, “I very much doubt it!” giggling, “we don’t call you the fastest gun in town for nothing, do we, David?” 

Snapping that it was not a rhetorical question, he was forced to shamefacedly agree with me, as my sister laughed even louder. Turning to my sister, I joked, “HE thinks he’s a real stud if he manages thirty seconds, … Don’t you dear?” He nodded shamefacedly with a whispered ‘Yes’, as he knew he dare not disagree with me.

My sister nearly spat her drink out, she thought that was so hilarious. “No wonder you keep it locked away. He must be a real embarrassment to you.” Addressing David, she then mocked, “You must have disappointed a lot of girls over the years? The ladies may turn and admire you**, when they see you out and about, but they’d roll their eyes at you in contempt if they knew about your little problem and how quickly you spurt! No wonder Christine dresses you like a sissy at home. Is that what used to happen when you used to date all those dolly birds? Did they look up at the ceiling in frustrated annoyance?” He was too crimson faced to speak, but gently nodded his head to avoid challenging her. 

     ** This referenced the fact that David remains strikingly handsome at 6 feet tall with an athletic, muscular stature. (In contrast, I am a classic bell shape and, though just two inches shorter, I weigh about 1/2 again what David does.) 

With our laughter still ringing in his ears, and my sister mocking him contemptuously, it was time to let him have his release. I smiled, “Are you ready to go David?” as he knelt before the flesh lite… “Now one more rule, you are not to close your eyes. If you close your eyes, your release is cancelled… and you will be punished… and… you are to keep looking into our eyes.” He was squirming and trembling and terrified of making a bigger fool of himself.

“OK….” I then pressed start and advised, “Go!”. He lunged forward as my sister roared with laughter at his pathetic gyrations, mocking how it was just as well it was only a piece of plastic tubing as he wouldn’t be doing too much to please a woman with his bit of gristle. I counted the seconds, … “25-seconds, …” as he started to look anxious, he was struggling to come with all the humiliation.

“30-seconds, …. It looks like you’re trying to impress my sister,” I teased, …… “40-seconds….

My what a stud you are!” scoffed my sister.

Fift…y” At this point he let out an almighty roar as he powerfully ejaculated. I know he would have loved to get the post orgasmic pleasure that flows from remaining with his organ enveloped by, in his current case, the flesh-light, but he gets a release, not relief, not a long orgasm. “fifty-six, fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fift…” I continued as, with tremendous fortitude, he pulled out, before I got to say ‘Stop’. He was sobbing in humiliation and frustration, his organ still twitching and screaming out for more. Instead, I stepped in with an ice pack, quickly removed the condoms and pushed him on his back to better apply the ice pack; before again securing his appendage in its stainless chastity cage, in which it can’t even erect.

He was then told he had five minutes to tidy himself up, fix up his make-up and get back to his ironing. We were still giggling as he departed the room.

That night in bed, I grinned as he entered the room and he squirmed embarrassedly before me, as I lightly noted how “At least we got that out the way for a while”. He couldn’t get close enough to me and begged me to let him pleasure me!

Christine XXXX

When to finish a sex session??

The other evening I was enjoying a very funny female comedian’s stand up routine. One routine was both funny and for me resonated around my sexuality and relationship with bitch-boy. So probably also applicable to a number of DS couples. The comedian had mentioned she was bi-sexual and then talked about how a straight forward aspect of sex with a man was that it has a natural end point;  when he cums, often quickly arrived at!

But good sex with another woman just goes on and on unless there is a reason to stop. And it is a difficulty to stop without a reason.  This brief routine sparked so many thoughts in my head when applied to my and others’ DS lives.

How wonderful it is to be a dominant woman so sex with a male does not have a natural end point, because the male either does not cum at all, or only cums when I the Domme is ready to end the sex session. How wonderful that that phenomenon, of itself, raises arousal and orgasm intensity for the Domme.

How wonderful that I now only like mutually rewarding sex sessions with other women and I can remind bitch-boy that when I used to have mutually rewarding sex sessions with him, a very long time ago, they were sometimes over rather quickly, while my  mutually rewarding sex sessions with women go on and on and on.

And finally, loosely linked to all this, I thought about how, under my ‘new’ denial regimen for bitch-boy, during the frequent full-on DS days I enjoy, I have more orgasms during any one of those days, than bitch-boy will get in a year. Then as I pondered on that, and I realised that, more accurately, I have more orgasms during any one of those DS days, than bitch-boy will get in TWO YEARS!  I don’t know why I had not recognised the actual extent of this disparity before! I could not wait to tell him!



Yellow Snow

25 January 2021  We have actually had a proper snow fall here for a few days. It is becoming rare for us. Yesterday, I heard a not very funny comedian, mentioning a few creatures that eat snow to keep hydrated, and do they know to avoid eating yellow snow.  Well the point of this post is not about what happens in nature, but what happens in my life and of course therefore, bitch-boy’s life. And the comment I heard gave me a wicked idea.

I told bitch-boy we were going for a walk in the snow. Before we left, unbeknown to him, I filled a small water bottle with my nectar. I was wrapped up nice and warm and had my waterproof rambling trousers on. He was also wrapped up nice and warm. I walked him to a very secluded spot we go to quite often.  At the edge of a field, there is a huge fallen tree trunk and a beautiful view can be seen when sitting on the tree trunk.

We arrived at the destination and the freezing fog rather reduced the view but it was still wonderfully silent, beautiful and totally secluded. (One of the benefits of living deep in the countryside.)

I sat on the tree trunk and told bitch-boy to remain standing. I burrowed my boots into the snow and then piled snow on top of my boots from either side with my ski-gloved hands. Poor bitch-boy looked confused. I told him to kneel because he was to lick my boots clean of the snow while I enjoyed the wonderful view and the peacefulness. He slowly lowered himself to his knees, looking submissive and miserable. He was about to begin when I stopped him. As I pulled the bottle of my nectar from my pocket I spoke to him.

‘Oh little puppet, that snow on my boots does look rather cold, and boring. Let me see if I can warm it up and make it more interesting for you.’ He knelt and watched silently, but looking distressed, as I distributed my nectar over the snow that covered my boots. I giggled as I finished. ‘Well, I think that’s a little warmer and a little less boring. And its a lovely yellow rather than boring white now isn’t it. Off you go maggot!’  He paused for a moment and then dipped his head down. I immediately pushed his head down with my hand on the back of his head until his face was deep in the yellow snow.

‘What a pathetic creature you are!’ I felt aroused now but that would have to wait until I got home. I let go of his head and sat back. He sobbed as he lifted his face from the snow. I felt no pity at all. (I have learned, rather late in life, that he is mentally and physicality indestructible when it comes to my abuse of him). I knew when his head hit his pillow at bedtime, he would simply be so in awe of his pitiless, sadistic Mistress, even if he was so, so sad and distressed right now. He began to consume the snow. THE YELLOW SNOW.

I sat back and looked at the beautiful view. And absorbed the silence. I could feel bitch-boy at his degrading toil and see his small movements in my peripheral vision. The minutes went by so pleasurably. A warm, energising  blanket of of power-rush. Yet another perfect moment in my life because I am a total bitch married to a submissive. I felt decadent, fortunate and profoundly contented. I thought about the view, the peace and tranquility, the massive orgasms I would be having when I got home and I thought about the continued chastity bitch-boy would endure. There would be no orgasm for him. (Four weeks since his last orgasm and counting. 13 weeks denial period before that, and 17 weeks before that.)

That wonderful DS symbiosis equation entered my consciousness. The more of a cruel, pitiless dominant bitch I am, the more pleasure and orgasms I have, the more adoration I receive, the better bitch-boy sleeps at night.

Life is good!

Link to my latest Journal.

An account of long-term denial from a BAV

Although I try not to think about it, I really miss not being allowed in my wife’s pussy anymore. I am a member of your BAV , and have not been allowed inside my wife since September 2013, and she says I will never be inside again. Too great a privilege for a husband/slave she says. I miss it a lot especially since my wife is extremely attractive and sexy, very much resembling Heather Locklear.

It was in 2008 when the children had married and moved on, that my wife decided that I would now be her full time slave, not a couple of days a month when we had free time alone. I began doing all of the housework, laundry, ironing and preparing most meals. Since we now live in Florida on a golf course, she would golf with her new friends several times a week, have lunch and wine, come home and make me massage her and give her orgasms by licking her and using one of her many vibrators. Then she would nap while I did housework. Doing housework every day she has me wear baby doll nighties, she has bought me 6 in all colors although the pink is her favorite. If I please her during the week she may allow me to play golf once a week, but it usually ends up to be maybe every 3 weeks.

From 2008, my wife allowed me to enter her every month or so, telling me I was only allowed a certain number of strokes and then I must pull out. She would say, “ you may have 10 strokes, no cumming allowed, then out. You better hold back”. If she was pleased with my housework and attitude after 3 months she would say “you may have 12 strokes and you may cum into the cup.” I had to keep a plastic cup next to me and when I felt the urge to cum I had to take my cock out right away and put my cock into the cup and cum in it. No additional rubbing was allowed. A ruined orgasm every time. She said I had no right to mess her pussy.

Then in 2013 she decided that penetrative sex was too great a privilege for a slave, and that I would no longer be allowed in her pussy. In 2017 she decided that I would join the One Year Club, not cumming at all the entire year. Lots of teasing, and frustration. The first few months were terrible, then it got better and then the last 3 months were so very frustrating and difficult. I have a CB 6000 and went thru 2 of them that year as they would split apart a night when I repeatedly got night erections.

So now she allows me an orgasm maybe once every 4 months. I will lie on the bed in only my panties, she will remove the sleeve of the chastity device if I am wearing it, and she will say, “you have 2 minutes to cum. If you don’t cum in 2 minutes, it shows me you really did not want to cum and I am stopping”. She will then rub me thru my silky panties and I almost always explode and make a mess in them. If I don’t cum in the 2 minutes, (it has happened) then I miss my chance and have to wait another 4 months. My wife says 3 times a year is more than enough times to allow a man to cum. She has said probably in 2021 she will change that to every 6 months  / twice a year. She does not like the down time I experience after I cum, about a week, so she says the less I cum, the better slave I am. Being teased and kept horny all the time does keep me aroused and a better husband/slave.


Since my wife and I have had a WLM for more than 25 years, I am more than pleased to honor your request for more details of being my wife’s slave for that many years. My wife at this stage is extremely confident in her domination and does not allow any mistakes or whining on my part. She is quick to punish for bad attitude which truthfully I rarely show. But she does administer punishments, which I will describe in a further reply. As well as our lifestyle.
Thank you for this great site.


I am pleased to write some more details of our WLM that we have had full time since 2008. Prior to that, we had two or three slave days a month since our children were still in school. So anytime we could arrange days off together we had a slave day. Now as I mentioned earlier, we have the house to ourselves and I have been my wife’s full time slave since then.

My wife loves chastity for me, a lot of tease and denial. Her motto she tells me often, is, “a horney husband is a good husband.” She also says a wife should never be horny and it’s a husbands duty to give lots of orgasms to his wife.

My wife will get 10 to 12 orgasm about 2 days a week from me eating her and using one of her many vibrators. She just keeps cumming after the prior one. Then I massage her legs and feet and she goes to sleep. She keeps a small handle bell on her night table and rings it anytime she wants me. Since I get up before her, she rings the bell often telling me to lie on the bed. She will rub me thru my panties and stop just in time giving me a powerful edge. Then before I can fully recover, she will tell me to go get her coffee.

For the first few years, at my suggestion, I wore a CB 6000 chastity device quite a bit. But she never liked it, saying that it is an artificial method of orgasm control. She tells me that if she does not allow me to cum, her telling me should be enough. I must obey that, and promise that I will. She has told me I am never allowed to masturbate no matter how desperate I become. She owns me and that includes my cock and balls, so she decides what is best for them, which is very little chances to cum. So most of the time I am without my chastity device, which actually seemed to make long term denial a bit easier.

October of 2016, I was so horny and one morning I began to rub my cock thinking I could stop in time. Well I didn’t, and had a orgasm without permission, the first. I felt guilty and told my wife. She was disappointed that I disobeyed her, and I asked her to please punish me in any way she wanted. I just wanted her to forgive me. She waited a few days and then said she would tell me my punishment December 31 and not to ask before that date.
On December 31, in the morning she gave me an orgasm by rubbing me and telling me I had permission to cum and make a mess in my panties. I really thought she had forgotten about my punishment, silly me. Later in the day she said that since I disobeyed her several months ago by cumming without permission, she put my punishment in a form of questions to me. She said, “ I think you deserve a full year without any chance to cum because of disobeying me. I think you can handle a full year. Don’t you think so? Wouldn’t you like to please me by not cumming for a whole year? Do you agree with my punishment for you?” Of course I am never allowed to disagree with my wife, never. She makes the rules and is always right. She knows I can not disagree. So I said, “yes, I can last a whole year and I deserve that as my punishment.”

So in 2017 I went the entire year without an orgasm or even a wet edge. And I never had a wet dream either. She teased and denied me a lot, and all year she kept telling me it was my own fault for disobeying her. After about 3 months it got easier, but then after another 3 months, the last 6 months were awful, so frustrating. I was hard and dripping all the time. So my wife got me boxes of panty shields to put in my panties to keep them dry. And the teasing continued. Every time I saw her naked I would leak more. She loved it!! On January 1, 2018 she allowed me an orgasm in my panties. It was not very pleasurable compared to other ones years back. But the next one 4 months later was great again.

As for the health aspect of being teased and denied for a year, I do visit a urologist every year. Our area where we live has a free prostate exam and blood test every June. That year I did tell the urologist that my wife likes orgasm denial for me and are there any concerns of long term denial. Or being aroused and denied. Figured I should be truthful and get the answers. He said besides the scrotum feeling full and occasional soreness, the body will absorb much of the fluid and the rest is leaked out or expelled with urination. Last year I asked again, this time I had a female urologist and she said basically the same thing. I did say that I sometimes wear a chastity device. Her reply was, why we would do this? The discomfort I must have should be noticed by my wife, and her having many orgasms and me none is very unfair. I told her my wife enjoys it and it is now our lifestyle. Wow, I bet she had a lot to tell her husband that evening.



Eminent Dominance by Christine M

Below is a wonderful account of a short exchange that no doubt was hugely affecting for both parties. I adore the final words of, ‘You’re dismissed.’  I find it such a power rush to calmly dismiss one’s despondent and frustrated submissive to their fate; while utterly relaxed, I continue to move towards yet another orgasm myself. . .

And the cloud of anxiety for David that will now float over him during all future vanilla entertaining! Making sure, despite the vanilla ambience, he does not forget he is helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel dominant woman. And we all know that submissives are at their most content when fully aware that they are helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel dominant woman.

Christine’s Account

David had a marvellous surprise the other Tuesday night! We had a vanilla night, with some close friends round for canapes and drinks. It was a wonderful evening and we all had a great time with lots of laughter. They left a little after nine, and I warmly cuddled David as we bid them goodnight, advising that he could clean-up tomorrow since I wanted a little fun in bed.

David spent an hour or so pleasing me, before I teased him to the brink of agony for a good ½ hour. It is so challenging for him to be driven to such levels of yearning while he can’t even erect properly! I was having a glorious time, laughing loudly at his antics and teasing him about not being able to get an erection. He was literally being driven mad with craving……………    until I suddenly stopped and coldly advised,

“That’s quite enough fun for one night David.” He looked at me in utter frustration, his balls no doubt swollen, as I continued, “What are your chores on a Wednesday?” He was ever so tremulous as he advised that Wednesday was a big night as he had to do washing and ironing, as well as clean the dining room, the hall, stairs and landing. “Right then, you’d better get to it!” I curtly ordered. He looked at me in utter disbelief, his doleful eyes pleading for him to be allowed to remain in bed. He was clearly yearning to just cuddle up to me.

Seeing the resolute look on my face, he entreated that the laundry alone was a couple of hours work. His dismay was so very evident as the tears welled over, when I dismissively ignored his entreaty and advised, “Well you had better start right away. It is indeed a very big night you have ahead of you! …as the lounge and kitchen are very much in need of your attention too…”.

He was lost for words as his face turned ashen, before he finally managed to mumble about how I had said that the latter could wait for tomorrow. “David,” I sharply reprimanded, “By the time you are dressed and made-up it will be almost midnight! With everything else you have to do, I would suggest it will indeed be tomorrow before you get round to cleaning the kitchen and lounge! Now I will not tell you again… You chose to join us earlier knowing full well you had chores to do. You also well know that your maid’s job takes precedence over all else.’

He then asked whether he might be excused from applying his make-up since he would be the only one up. I very crossly retorted, “Most certainly not! And don’t let me hear another word of complaint!”

I laid back in bed and contentedly watched him in his utter misery, as he painstakingly took the time to carefully dress and then apply his make-up. He hates this so much, he feels especially silly making himself up, and considers it so unnecessary. This makes it all the more amusing for me!

He would have been able to observe me in his mirror, looking on, so relaxed and at ease, smiling… as he morosely considered the hard night he had ahead. Such a contrast to my gratified state. His make-up finished, he rose, turned to face me and gracefully curtsied, as I cruelly subjected him to one last task to further emphasise his deprived status.

Though it was in easy reach in my bedside drawer, I ordered him to pass me my wand. I grinned as he curtsied and handed it to me, I switched it on and slid it under the covers as I noted, “One more orgasm before I fall asleep….” I then closed my eyes as I advised “You’re dismissed!”

He didn’t finish until gone four o’clock in the morning! He had a late start the next day, which I had taken full advantage of!

These exceptionally cruel events only work if they are done rarely. This was a first time, but it means that on future vanilla nights, it will always be in the back of his mind that he might still have to do all his chores before bed. I love this feeling of power I hold over him, knowing he is always fearful, especially nowadays, as I gradually tighten up his domestic regime.