Tag Archives: FD

Lock down activities (No. 3)

Bells

Ideally the small spherical type as in this image but I guess any bell or bells will do.

Attach bells to your sub so they tinkle when the sub moves. Just a little humiliation that is quite sweet and it means the Domme, whenever in earshot, knows exactly where the sub is if they are moving about.

Top Tips

Places on the body that do not move very abruptly, may not produce a tinkle; such as on a collar D-ring or chastity device. If you wish to have a bell in such a location and want it to tinkle more, hang it on a length of string or fine ribbon about the length of a smart phone.

Bells to ankles will always tinkle when he walks and bells to wrists tinkle if the hands are being moved about.

 

For info on my own BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.

 

Always open to feedback

Before responding, I have allowed a few days of a sometimes heated exchange to play out in the comments section over what some have seen as an unwelcome trend of content on this blog, and others have defended. I thought I should reassure my loyal blog followers that there will never be a content shift that ignores the drivers of the majority of submissive males, but equally there may be periods focussed on specific topic areas that not everyone likes. I do respond to feedback however. I think before going further though I should briefly set out why I began this blog and its purposes.

I  began this blog because of an apparent vacuum. The demise of Madame’s magazines and the shift in the content of Petticoated.com from letters from Dommes about petticoat PUNISHMENT, to letters from Sissy’s who cannot wait to be dolled up in frillies, left a vacuum. I could find literally nothing that was content from REAL domestic Dommes. Why did this matter? It mattered to me because it was the content of Madame magazines and the original Petticoated.com that got me into being the dominant I am. bitch-boy introduced me to the concept of femdom, but these two ‘publications’ provided the revelation that there was a lifestyle, and there were many dominant activities, that I was SERIOUSLY attracted to. The rest of the internet had mostly femdom content that put me off!

So this brings me onto the purpose of this blog. It is to inform the women, who have decided to try femdom, of the myriad of femdom lifestyles and activities that exist. Hopefully helping them to create a symbiotic femdom relationship with a submissive male  making both parties very content indeed. For her to understand he needs stuff to happen to him he does not like in order to sleep contented, submissive sleep. To know it is alright to be cruel and to enjoy being cruel. Given there is a surplus of submissive males, it is females who need inspiration and inducement.  My strategy is to PROVIDE REAL LIFE INFORMATION to women. This I have tried to do. I have also wanted isolated submissive males to understand they are not alone or perverted and they should not be ashamed to be submissive sexually, (although it may need to be kept secret from the vanilla world).

I definitely welcome that most submissive males find themselves quite aroused a lot of the time they read this blog. I want them to be and to feel submissive and so to feel respect for women, and to want to seek out a femdom relationship. However I will not be pandering to males fantasies to the exclusion of broad information dissemination.

I will cover every aspect of real life female domination I think may be useful. So if, as a male, you find there is a theme for a while that does not make you feel submissive, just a polite comment communicating this is all that is needed. Or, much more importantly, if I have stopped covering a favourite theme of yours. If that view is enlightening to me, or shared by many, I will take it into account, but I will still cover every topic of real life domination I consider useful, so you may have to be a little patient. Of course, there will be many, many males who feel very submissive reading content that does not make a few males feel submissive at all.

A number of males have commented and a tiny proportion actually seem angry with me because of the current content. As though I owe them something with this FREE site they have used for years as wank fodder. Obviously these males identify themselves by their actions and emotions as submissives who will NEVER EVER find a dominant woman interested in them. (Especially those that take the trouble to comment to me that they will no longer be following my blog. (Just go; no need to tell  me you are flouncing off. Their petty nastiness in their futile desire to hurt me, the disrespect, the absence of loyalty, the impatience, the unwarranted sense of  entitlement.)

So, if you want to give me feedback, please do. As some have done so with polite, courteous, measured, feedback. I will take that into account. And a very warm thank you to all those who gave support and loyalty in the exchanges. I am very grateful.

(For completeness, the intention of this blog is not to persuade VANILLA women to try femdom. My alternative blog is intended to meet that objective.)

 

 

 

Real Life

Two wonderfully praising comments gratefully received recently. It is truly heart warming to receive such comments and I thank the authors sincerely. I have inserted links where that might add more context.

Comment 1

March 2020. To all Dommes & submissives who may be considering any/all the above, [the Journals], i hope the following comment will be of interest.

My MistressWife, Serena and i have led a FemDom lifestyle in varying degrees for 30 years. Serena isnt a natural Domme, but experienced and more than efficient. i have been submissive since early childhood.

We have all of Mistress Scarlets Journals, and Her superb BDSM Manual. i can say without fear of contradiction that all have been of immense interest and have enhanced our relationship beyond expectation.

We have been following MsScarlets blog for 6 years or more, and likewise subscribed to her above publications, and our D/s lifestyle since, has never been more rewarding.

We thank Her often, but can never thank Her enough.
tiffany-maid

 

Comment 2

Mistress Scarlet,

thank you very much for replying to my comment. I am honoured that you should take the time to respond and take any interest at all in my situation.

Your alternative blog is wonderful: an incredibly useful and insightful guide for women with submissive partners. The examples and testimonies you provide, along with your own comments and advice, are excellent.

It is a fantastic resource for those of us who are trying to explain our submissive feelings to our partners and the potential advantages a relationship built on dominance and submission can offer them.

I am not sure that my partner is quite ready, yet, for this amount of information. I think she is still trying to gain the confidence to practice relatively light and playful domination and I am very wary of putting any pressure on her to move too quickly.

I suspect that the thought of a more intense D/S relationship is still too uncomfortable for her at the moment, and so I am still reluctant to move too fast. I never want her to feel overwhelmed by my desires or put off by examples that seem too intense or extreme for her to understand. In the long term I am sure that she will be able to develop her dominance over me, but I love her very deeply and I do not want to do anything to risk upsetting her by trying to make her adapt too quickly.

Of course I do want to engage in more sustained and extreme D/S and I want to continue to try to show her how it can benefit both of us, but I am cautious about putting pressure on her or making it feel as though I am trying to persuade her to do something she feels uncomfortable with.

In time, when she is more accustomed to dominating me and feels more comfortable, your alternative blog will be an ideal starting point and will I am sure help her to grow in confidence and deepen her control over me. I will certainly encourage her to read it when she is ready.

Thank you so much for your help and encouragement. And thank you for all the outstanding work you do to help women embrace their superiority and take advantage of submissive creatures like me. You truly are an inspiration and your blogs and journals are a hugely important resource.

In submission and obedience,

slave 307

 

 

 

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Record starts and stops!

The recent post from Lady Jessica prompted me to write this blog post as I have historically,  seriously erred and I hope other Dommes will avoid my mistakes.

My advice to avoid my mistakes depends on what regime changes you may contemplate for the future for your submissive. The advice is: to keep records of dates of events.

Prohibiting Things

For instance; if you are thinking one day, you will decide he no longer ever will be allowed to penetrate you, then write down the date of each time he does. Why? So that when the last time happens, you will have a note of the date of the last time.

I don’t even know the year, let alone the date! If I knew the date, I could hold a little anniversary ‘party’ each year to celebrate when bitch-boy first became a born-again-virgin (BAV).  And I could taunt him from time to time over how many years it has been. Alas I only know it is in the region of 14 to 16 years. At the time, I did not know the last time was the last time. I had not planned to make him a BAV at that time, I just prohibited it for longer and longer and longer and all of a sudden I chose for it to be a lifetime prohibition.

You may be contemplating banning your sub from all but spoiled orgasms for the rest of his life. Write down each time he has a full one, as that may turn out to be the last time and you will have the date.

So I guess I am suggesting; Dommes keep a sex and dominance diary. (Or they instruct their sub to.)

There are so many things! Last : penetration, full orgasm, orgasm of any kind, day free of a chastity device, etc, etc, etc. (Please comment with suggestions of other significant ‘events’ that should be recorded.)

Starting Things

So far I have only discussed stopping things. There is also, starting things. On 4 April 2020 Lady Jessica started having her skivvy write lines on each sheet of her toilet paper, for the rest of his life. I hope, (and I am sure she will), record the date that regime started! So useful to be able to ‘celebrate’ each anniversary date, year after year after year.

I luckily have the date I last gave bitch-boy an orgasm using my skilful hands and began the regime of his ‘orgasms’ only happening either, under the soles of my shoes or, (if I have a relevant exercise  injury),  inside the sharp bristles of his special toilet brush. I only have the date because of this blog! So I can celebrate the anniversaries and taunt him over them. (I don’t have the date of the first time I cuckolded him, and he became a cuckold!)

In fact having the date of such things, hardens my heart, (as if needs hardening!), to maintain the regime 100%!   No rare, ‘one-off’ kindnesses as it would be such a shame to ‘restart the clock’.

Obviously if a regime start date is planned, that is no problem. BUT, if you begin a regime because it creeps up on you; because it slowly evolves to become a regime, you will only have the start date of that regime if you record all that might become significant on an ongoing basis.

 

My 16th journal –  LINK

 

 

 

Public humiliation by MS Joan

I have been so very fortunate this past year with so many fantastic REAL LIFE Mistresses in stable relationships with a sub, contacting me. engaging with me in email exchanges and generously making comments on my blog posts. And I continue to be so very fortunate having been contacted by yet another REAL LIFE Mistress in stable relationships with a sub.

The latest treasure, Ms Joan. And just like Mistress Samantha, myself and a few others, another Mistress who does not work and whose husband has retired .  Ms Joan is pretty new to her dominance but a couple of examples of her life with her submissive husband, reveal what a fantastic dominant mind she has.

The first, in her own words, involving that very powerful thing, public humiliation in front of another woman who is unfamiliar to them.

………… Your style of dress and that of the other Ladies, who have given accounts on your alternative blog, is similar to mine. Never would I ever be seen dressing up in latex or any other silly costumes to satisfy my husbands cravings. My clothing is just normal everyday wear from the better high street shops. Although I do like to wear leather, but again this is normal clothing, jackets, skirts, trousers and a couple of full length coats amongst my many other clothes.

………………. We were going away for a couple of nights to a rather nice hotel, booked in my name of course. He was allowed a small overnight bag with 1 change of clothes, I had a medium size suitcase with several changes of clothes, dresses, skirts, tops, trousers, shoes, boots and a couple of coats and jackets in a long garment bag, these were all packed by him at home under my supervision. 

At the check in, with me signing in and hubby stood behind with the bags, I asked the receptionist, a nice suited Lady in her late thirties, where the bar was as I really needed a glass of wine after the drive. Then turning to hubby I said, ‘Wasn’t there something you wanted to ask?’

Red faced he asked if there was an iron in the room or if he could borrow one. Being told there was one in the wardrobe, I commented, ‘There you go darling, go and unpack and come and join me in the bar after your ironing, but please don’t leave any creases.‘ And with a smugness and a smile from the receptionist, I turned on my heel, heading for a dink and I didn’t even look back………………

Example 2 of the fantastic dominant mind of Ms Joan is her financial control and domination.

…………… My husband introduced me to your blog several months ago in the hope that I would dominate him…………. I have always known he is submissive and he even confessed this to me 40 years ago before we were married. Of course this was before the internet and there was very little written resources available. In reality we just played at this really as foreplay to sex, me calling him slave and having him lick my boots or shoes. Children, family and demanding work came along so it was rare that we ever engaged in these roles.

Now retired this has raised its head again and after much pleading by hubby I decided to try to be a Mistress of the house. One of the things I did learn within business, the person who controls the budget has the real power. Consequently I took away all his credit cards and cut them up, he is allowed a single debit card of which I can track and view any spending he has made. He certainly is never given cash to fritter away and spend as he likes.

Unless permitted by me to do otherwise, he can only use it to fill the cars with fuel and shop at supermarkets. He must give me the till receipts for me to check for any unwanted items like whisky which he loves, or rather vary rarely does nowadays!

And now the jigsaw is complete!

A couple of weeks ago, I published a blog post intended to be the final piece of the jigsaw of my project to try to help have more women enjoy a female led relationship. The final piece was to cover what submissive males should do. I realised though that a blog post is quickly buried over time, so it was not that helpful.

So I have reorganised my blog. A couple of pages are gone. There are new pages in their place. Two pages under the above right hand  tab, Tempt her to try dominance. That tab brings up a drop down menu of:       Approached her before, but no success.    AND     Yet to approach her about it.

So now the jigsaw is complete, except, please have a look at these two new pages and let me know if there are any ways in which they can be improved.

 

 

Just a reminder about my new Guide entirely written to help entice vanilla women into trying domination. Further details HERE.  There is also my alternative blog; again entirely written to help entice vanilla women into trying domination.

 

Last piece of the jigsaw

One thing I have had to avoid in my Guide for Beginners and my alternative blog is advice to submissive males. The Guide and Blog are aimed exclusively, without compromise, at tempting vanilla women into exploring being dominant. But how should a submissive male go about seducing their vanilla woman into exploring being dominant? (I will use the term wife in the remainder of this blog, which I mean to include long term girlfriend.)

Over the years, and frequently recently I have been asked by males, what should they do.  Sadly almost always, what they have done before asking, has usually been appalling. No other word for it. The biggest issue being a staggering lack of empathy.  ‘EMPATHY: The ability to imagine what someone else might be thinking or feeling and the ability to sense other people’s emotions.’

Specifically relevant to our issue, ‘The ability to imagine what your wife might think in response to what you do or say.’

To be fair to submissive males, there is an understandable problem that seems universal. Having been submissive since childhood, and having been exposed to Femdom on the internet over that last 20 years, fantasies evolve and can become quite extreme. Habituation takes place as years of experience accumulate, so what might have seemed bizarre and horrifying even to a submissive male a decade ago, has become normal and OK and exciting today. And fantasising for years that the wife could easily and instantly drop into a dominant role starts to make that fantasy seem like the reality.

So rule 1 is to remember that, it is very likely your vanilla wife will be horrified by your current fantasies and will find it literally impossible to imagine having power over you, dominating you and you being submissive to her.

And to make matters worse, most submissive males do not understand the psychological mechanics of their own submissiveness, so how on earth can their vanilla wife be expected to?????? Where this leaves us is as follows.

If introducing your submissiveness for the first time, start by apologising for not doing so before she committed to a long term relationship with you. Admit you withheld from her information she should have had when making her decision to start a life with you.

If you have introduced your submissiveness before and that has not resulted in her becoming dominant. You almost certainly need to seriously apologise at the beginning of introducing it again. Apologise for whatever you did before, because you got it wrong. You almost certainly forgot to be empathetic. You forgot the real world is not the world of your fantasies. You did not put yourself in her shoes and imagine what she would think and feel on hearing what you said, and or experiencing what you did.

  • Telling her all about your fantasies, that you have been developing for years and / or showing her Femdom porn on the internet is GETTING IT VERY WRONG. (The content might seem normal to you, but may well be horrifying to her!)
  • Buying her fetish clothing and asking her to act dominant is GETTING IT VERY WRONG. (Who wants to act and risk being exposed as a bad actor? And where is the power rush for her going to be, if she is acting but has no power?)
  • Telling her it is your sexuality, you can’t help that,  and EXPECTING HER to cater to your needs is GETTING IT VERY WRONG. (She did not sign up to that. Why should she cater to you when you were not up front before she committed?)
  • Becoming impatient or arguing when development is slow or stutters. (She does not owe you dominance. You may well need considerable patience and you must be hugely complimentary for every tiny development. There should be 99 instances of praise from you between each shortcoming you raise over what she says or does.)

I hope I have set the ambience, attitude, mood and atmosphere you are looking for. Reality and EMPATHY!!!! Begin by apologising profusely for what has gone before and politely request she read my alternative blog. Make it clear you know you have no right to demand or require a change from her of any sort, but you are imploring she gives some thought to the issue in her own time.

 

 

Thank you Dash Riprock

On Amazon Kindle, five stars and an awesome review from, frequent blog commenter, Dash Riprock for my new Guide for Beginners. A Guide aimed totally at persuading vanilla women to have a go at an FLR lifestyle. Thank you so much, Dash Riprock!

And Dash’s review is on the USA Kindle site! (Probably only known to authors, is that reviews on the USA Kindle site get transported to every other country’s Kindle site.) I hope to see more reviews there, ideally from women too. I have kept the cost down as much as was practicable hoping that helps have more women read the Guide, possibly after reading my alternative blog, that is also aimed wholly at persuading vanilla women to have a go at an FLR lifestyle.

I will now begin promoting that blog in vanilla women’s magazines and other material.

 

Find Paperback                                           Find it in ePub format

 

Purchase for AMAZON KINDLE

US   UK    DE    ES    FR    IT    NL   JP    BR     CA     MX    AU     IN

 

It will soon be available in iBooks, Nook, BArnes and Noble etc.

 

 

Click the submissive switch

Something the wonderful Cortney included in an email to me really struck a chord with me and I wondered if other Dommes and subs who are in a relationship like mine felt the same. By, a relationship like mine, I mean where there can be ostensibly 100% vanilla periods.

Cortney wrote: …… As soon as I initiate dominance, the submission takes over his mind. You can see his face expression change, the look in his eyes is different. It’s automatic, instilled within him. I just activate it……’

This is something I experience often with bitch-boy and in exactly the same way. One example is, when I am getting ready to leave the house and I am in a wholly vanilla attitude and conversation with bitch-boy, but then it is time for me to actually leave and I interrupt him and say, ‘Kiss my shoes.’  He looks at me and, in that instant, all vanilla demeanour within him disappears and his expression is total submission. He kneels and begins kissing and I look down at him, feeling TOTALLY POWERFUL and I talk at him, giving instructions for what he must do while I am out and also I may tell him some cruel thing I will be doing to him/with him, when I return, or in the next day or two.

Even in our most vanilla moments, in the back of my mind, I always feel like I own him and can do whatever I want with him, I think partly because I know I can flick that switch instantly whenever I want.

Another example is that we might be each getting on with things and as we pass by one and other, him smiling warmly, I will issue a curt instruction in an unfriendly, haughty voice. ‘Coffee bitch-boy, now!‘ He looks at me and, in that instant, all vanilla demeanour within him disappears and his expression is total submission

I wondered if other Dommes and subs who are in a relationship involving ‘vanilla periods’ experience when the sub totally switches in an instant, like a light has been turned on?

 

For info on my own BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.