Tag Archives: FD

Which hardcopy and on-line mainstream magazines?

I have honed my faux article on orgasm benefits of being a Domme and added to it the faithfulness benefits of being a Domme. (Blog posts of 25 May and 1 June this year.) I would like to send it to vanilla women’s hardcopy and on-line magazines who might be bold enough to publish it. But which magazines. I have no idea which ones in English speaking countries might publish it.

Can any of you wonderful blog followers identify suitable magazines that may be racy or brave enough to publish such an article?

I will add these orgasm and faithfulness benefits to my blog page entitled, Ladies- Adopt the Lifestyle.


So you want more and better orgasms and a faithful partner? Get a submissive!

So many articles appear on increasing the number and intensity of women’s orgasms and others on faithfulness of partners, but never is mentioned the following GUARANTEED strategy. Before continuing, it is true to say that, for a large part of society, this is taboo, just like discussing gay sex was fifty years ago.

There are many, many true submissives in our population. (Why do you think there are so very many wealthy, professional dominatrix?) These male and female true submissives usually discover they are sexually submissive before they reach puberty. They are only truly content if they are dominated by another person, at least in the bedroom. Truly dominated; not just playing a game. True submissives can come from any upbringing, often loving and nurturing homes; their submissiveness is not the result of abuse during their early lives.   It could possibly be due to a parasite carried by cats! Google Toxoplasma gondii. Go figure!

In order to feel truly dominated, things must happen to them they would prefer did not. They might be coerced to take responsibility for tedious chores, or be spanked just that bit longer and harder than they believe they can cope with, or humiliated, perhaps a male having to wear pink panties, (as a starter). Humiliated just that bit more intensely than they believe they can cope with.  

Having to do the tedious chores, (another benefit), or be spanked or humiliated – a little more than they believe ‘they can cope with’, proves to them that it is not simply a domination game. This other person has total control and is proving this domination and control is REAL.

What has this to do with my orgasms you ask! Well I am a dominant  woman and I have done some research and found that power truly is a MASSIVE aphrodisiac. Women who have adopted a life of, or sessions of, real power over their sexual partner, ALWAYS move from none or average orgasms, to numbers and intensities previously only dreamed of. ALWAYS! Many like me, having perhaps a dozen HUGE orgasms during a few hours of dominance. Aching, shaky legs from those orgasms!

And the relationship intensity and intimacy and loyalty is as strong as can be. When those things the submissive do not enjoy are all over, they adore their dominant and sleep the most contented sleep; knowing they are helplessly in the power of another.

In addition, the sex life does not fade away over the years. It remains as intense as it ever was; decade after decade after decade.

I can hear those judgmental do-gooders reading this, screaming, ‘These true submissives need help and therapy. They need rescuing and converting’. Well this is what was shamefully said about gay people not so long ago! So if you are screaming that; SHAME ON YOU! I can assure you that true submissives do not want to change. They adore the intensity of feelings and relationships they experience when their submissive needs are met.

If you really want to be virtuous, go and find a true submissive and begin a dominant relationship with them. Then you will be bringing fulfilment to their otherwise unfulfilled lives. And bring fulfilment to you too! Best estimates suggest the number of discontented, unfulfilled, male and female submissives among us, currently outnumber female dominants by about one hundred to one. And honestly, anyone can become a dominant and get hooked on, and benefit from, that aphrodisiac power and the benefits.

As long as you are able to raise a middle digit to conservative societal values, (which remember only 50 years ago condemned gay people to prison and worse), then you can become a dominant; and become an orgasm Queen into the bargain!

But there is a second massive benefit from finding a true submissive and beginning a dominant relationship with them. FAITHFULNESS.

As the years go by, so many vanilla men seek out a ‘younger model’ during their long term relationships. A prettier face, a firmer body, more exciting sex; whatever. And of course this is compounded by the fact that we do all get older. We may well all get a little less attractive than we once were.

Well for vanilla women this can be a worrying threat, but for dominant women it really is an irrelevance. In fact the shoe is on the other foot. True submissives know how many of them there are and how rare dominant women are.

If a submissive is lucky enough to be in a long term relationship with a Dominant, they know how fortunate they are. They know there is a queue of 100 other submissives who would jump at the chance of replacing them and serving the dominant instead. So even if we have used our pretty faces and or our attractive bodies as a source of attraction at the outset, well as we get older, emphasis on face and body can fade into the background and be replaced by emphasis on sessions of dominance. The sub will remain UTTERLY ADDICTED to the dominant right through to the end of their lives.

Of course not all women are born to have pretty faces or amazing bodies. But if they choose to be dominant, they can still have a queue of submissives from which to choose. And the chosen one will be besotted and addicted as though their dominant was a twenty year old supermodel.

In these relationships, the sub is frightened of losing the dominant. I am realistic to accept that, like me, many dominants do not want to lose their sub either! Well trained, and hugely adorable and valuable for many reasons when in vanilla mode; but the sub is petrified of losing their dominant even then. Unequalled loyalty over decades through the phenomenon of supply and demand and the deep compulsive, drive to be submissive to a dominant.

Finally it must be made clear that it is rare for a submissive to be a beta to the outside world. Many submissives, like mine, are charming and assertive and very successful alphas. Why do you think Dominatrix can charge so much! He is my protector and a force of nature. He is my knight in shining armour, an impressive person indeed. It is our little secret as to who wears the trousers so often when we are alone! But even when we are alone, I can and do choose to have him in his vanilla mode quite often when we snuggle down to watch TV, or share a wonderful meal. Life could not be better.



Can vanilla ever compare?

It may be the content of this post is too candid for me to get much of a response. I almost blush as I write it!

An issue that is often on my mind is whether I am unusual as far as dominant women go, and how I compare with vanilla women, when it comes to orgasms; both the number in a day and the intensity. This is important to me as it should be useful, among other things, for persuading other women to become dominant. Women can respond about themselves and other women they have known, and males can respond about women they have known.

Usually, I will have between 9 and 12 MASSIVE orgasms during a typical full-on DS session. (A full-on DS session involves various equipment and activities and usually lasts between 5 and 8 hours.) I am often quite shattered by the end, partly because of what it takes out of me to have all of these huge orgasms, including aching thighs!

  1. Do other Dommes get the same number / intensity?
  2. Even if not, do other Dommes have more orgasms than the vanilla women they know?
  3. Do any or many women having only vanilla sex get the same?
  4. Do other Dommes or vanilla women get this, even when they have been with the same partner for over 20 years?

Obviously the fact the male does not end ‘the session’ by cumming, is one reason for this pleasure-fest. So then I wonder, does a vanilla lesbian get the same?

The main reason I wrote my very popular BDSM manual was to help get more women to be dominant, given the huge surplus of submissive men that exist. I don’t think I included the number/intensity of orgasms in the list of reasons to become dominant. Perhaps I am unusual on this and it would have been false advertising.


For info on my BDSM manual, click on an image below.


DS advert for Louboutin heels

A great advert by Christian Louboutin for high heels,  (yes I have a pair). The twist at the end I saw coming but puts DS into mainstream which is always a good thing.

And on a separate note, what is it about a hand on hip, just like this, that is sooooo dominant and haughty ?????? Both to see and to do. I am theorising it firstly throws the shoulders back and chest out and chin up, and secondly indicates relaxed confidence and superiority.



My latest journal.

Volume 13: The Institute, Click on any link below:

Lulu.com –

Paperback version,       ePub version,

Amazon Kindle –

USA,    UK, 

DE,    FR,    ES,    IT,    NL,    JP,    BR,    CA,    MX,    AU,    IN, 

Nook – Barnes and Noble




Survey results

Well it was only a little surprise to find that the 11 submissives who kindly provided their views, were broadly equally split on whether dressing to the nines, or dressing in my everyday casual clothes, would most affect them in the scenario I painted in yesterday’s post. This is because each outfit brings its own power.

I summarise the feedback below, for which I am very grateful.

Dressed to the nines.

  • The distance and difference between the submissive’s and the dominant’s roles.
  • The difference between the two of us is as great a divide as can be!!
  •  Dressed to the nines not only would you look awe inspiring, but also would look like the dominant might be going out and leaving the sub behind. Or be expecting guests.
  • Seeing you dressed to the nines, ready for a night on the town, while my evening of drudgery merely begins with this dreadful task would make me quite jealous, mixed in with the inequality and unfairness of our relationship.
  • Underlines the frustration of not being able to touch or be sexual with the woman who makes me feel aroused. It is like having her heel on the back of my neck psychologically.

Casual everyday wear.

  •  It truly emphasizes and drives home the fact that his toils are not any type of special occasion but instead are the reality of his day to day existence under the control of the dominant.
  • Skin tight t-shirt, leggings, etc. , that is, clothing which displays your perfect form to his vision, will serve to constantly torment him even further.
  • If you have no plans for the evening than I would find myself wanting some sexual/sensual overtones to make the dreadful task a little less dreadful, and the fact that you can dress as you please while I am dressed (or undressed) at your pleasure would be a stark display of our disparity.
  • Requiring your sub to do disgusting cleaning tasks is not something worthy or deserving of your “dressing up”. It is not something you are highlighting or in any way an extraordinary event. It is just his assigned task, a routine part of the existence you impose on him.
  • Casual provides an air of, ‘why do I need to bother dressing for you bitch.’


For info on my own BDSM manual, click on an image below.




Satisfying feedback

Yet more satisfying feedback about my BDSM manual. Nothing satisfies me more than learning that a woman is now enjoying the pleasures of domination, partly because of my BDSM manual. (And a sub is gaining submissive contentment too.) Mistress Rain Star wrote:

Thank you for your blogs and books, they’ve helped me tremendously……………….. We’re on a short trial period and it’s going very well. Your book, Gratifying Domination and Submissive Contentment: A Guidance Manual, in particular, has been more help to me than anything else.

The full text of Mistress Rain Star’s comment on my blog are at the foot of this post, together with my reply.

For info on my BDSM manual, click on an image below.








Rain Star

Thank you for your blogs and books, they’ve helped me tremendously. I want to tell you a brief overview of my situation because it’s been difficult to find a support group. Almost 17 years ago I met my submissive but I wasn’t ready. We were together on and off for 6 or 7 years (with me topping him) and then we broke up and I asked for no communication. Of course, he respected my request and never contacted me again. I spent the next 10 years in and out of mostly non-con D/s relationships (with me being the non-con s). Only 1 of those relationships was healthy. I missed my sub and thought of him often. A few recent events led me to contact him again, after a decade. He’s a year single and I asked him to be in service to me. We’re on a short trial period and it’s going very well. Your book, Gratifying Domination and Submissive Contentment: A Guidance Manual, in particular, has been more help to me than anything else. But I’m looking for even more information. Classes, a community, another Domme. I have friends in the lifestyle and have thrown out lines. I live very close to San Francisco so it shouldn’t be this difficult, but it is. All the classes are too expensive or don’t teach the basics. My sub is training me as I’m training him but I want to accelerate the process. I want to keep him in his sub space by being the Domme I know he craves. Already I’ve come up with some amazing ideas that I use to top him but I’m doing them in a way that keeps him feeling dominated. He’s also a chaste cuckhold and my mind reels with all we can explore. Why isn’t there a FB group or some other type of community for Domme’s to meet and exchange ideas? I’ve scoured Fet and all the kinky places near me… there’s really an under-serviced need here.

MISTRESS SCARLET WROTE:  Thank you for the kind words about my manual.

It is such a shame you are not in the UK. I would love to have you visit me and I would demonstrate on my bitch-boy literally anything you wanted and of course discuss in depth anything you were interested in about how I live my life . I would also be happy to visit your place and the two of us could practice things on your sub. But obviously, geography precludes this reciprocal double-domming avenue. Huge shame.

Keep looking for Dommes’ groups that meet up. I understand they do exist in most big cities. Perhaps this post will cause an SF Domme to come forward and let me know she is a member of such a group. Also if you attend munches and BDSM nightclubs, you might be told of such an SF group.










How curt can you get?

It is useful, as often as possible when it’s just the two of you, even in vanilla times, to issue a curt instruction instead of a polite request . It will keep him subjugated to you and in awe of you and make you feel like the queen you are. Instead of, ‘Please get me a cup of tea hun,’ you say ‘Get me tea hun.’ Or go even more curt than that.

‘Tea now.‘ or perhaps that is too curt and so,

‘Tea now bitch.’ or ‘Tea now puppet.’ or ‘Tea now slave.’ or ‘Tea puppet.’

NEVER SAY THANK YOU! Instead of you thanking him when he delivers, he must thank you. He only need to say the two words, ‘Thank you’, but you both know he means, ‘thank you for the privilege of being allowed to serve you amazing goddess. I know you could replace me in an instant with a choice of 100 other willing submissives and I am very grateful that you do not.’ ……………. Or he means something very similar.

Obviously it is suitably demeaning for him to have to thank you for him carrying out a demand of yours!

Social events and family gatherings sometimes provide those brief moments of just enough discrete privacy for some subjugation. ‘White wine now.‘ And on his return, loud enough from him for just you to hear; ‘Thank you.’

And, if you are at home, and he forgets to say thank you for bringing you something, then in your sweetest tone, you can say, ‘What do you say?’

Actually if you fail to take every opportunity to issue a curt command, instead of a polite request, you are denying your submissive food for his soul and missing out on a lovely feeling for you.


My latest journal below.


Volume 13: The Institute, Click on any link below:

Lulu.com –

Paperback version,       ePub version,

Amazon Kindle –

USA,    UK, 

DE,    FR,    ES,    IT,    NL,    JP,    BR,    CA,    MX,    AU,    IN, 

Nook – Barnes and Noble

The Sinner and Slutever / S**tever

A series on Netflix at the moment, The Sinner, (which is pretty good), has a few minutes in most episodes of VERY ACCRATELEY DEPICTED, sadistic female domination and submissive male addiction to that. Especially in the first two episodes. I think it may be the most accurately depicted I have ever seen in a mainstream TV programme or movie.

The housewife sadist in The Sinner is played by the actress Meredith Holzman and wow! she captures sadistic dominance with serious realism. I wondered about her real life personality! It got me to thinking, are there any mainstream contenders I might not know about? I recall an episode of Sherlock Homes, Series 2, – The Iceman, The Virgin and The Dominatrix, in which Irene Adler does a fantastic job playing the dominatrix, but this does not really compare with the scenes in the episodes of The Sinner.

An astute blog follower has also advised me of a programme which is on Vice in the UK, perhaps also on a Channel 4 channel, called Slutever. I have only seen episode 1 so far.

It is a documentary and I  felt the motivations of submissives was very poorly described. Even by some submissives in the programme who seemed to fail to understand their own deepest motivations; but this is normal for many humans. A lifestyle dominant sadist in the programme is however breath-taking in her dominance and unashamed sadism. I look forward to episode 2.  A point to note if you seek out the programme is that some platforms  seem to coyly label the programme, ‘S**tever’. The word,’ slut’ apparently being too offensive to have on the screen menu!

Can anyone suggest other mainstream contenders to compete with the brief scenes in the early episodes of The Sinner?



More young women to be dominant?

I wonder if there is an avenue into young women at colleges and university to spread the word about what a great life they could have as a dominant wife. It is widely believed that there are around 100 sub men to each dominant women and scanning BDSM contact sites, (excluding women in it for money only), that statistic stands up. I am sure this is because of societal pressures on women to be weaker than men and the incorrect notion that submissive men are weak men. If young women could understand that it is possible to have absolute power over a husband, yet he still be a powerful partner when a powerful partner is needed, this would help sway the balance.

Below is another comment received yesterday on my BDSM manual. As I have written before, nothing gives me greater satisfaction than the thought that I am helping another woman enjoy the sort of life I do, and as a side effect making a true submissive content. But could more women be exposed to the possibilities while in their late teens, early twenties?

I occasionally read him passages when he gets too curious. He has commented that he is not sure he likes me reading your manual. That gives me pleasure. You are spot on in your assessments and I have never been so fulfilled in my relationship. Thank you!


(Click on the image below for more info.)

Times have changed.

Obviously not in every country in the world have times changed, and some countries are going backwards in freeing women from oppression, (Turkey being the worst regressing country at the moment).

But overall in the civilised world, women’s oppression is being eradicated and the images in this link are fascinating and amusing, (one example below); and SHOCKING when you appreciate the original posters are REAL! But then given the number of countries that still profoundly oppress their women, perhaps not so surprising. Religion certainly has a lot to answer for in those countries and not just Islam. Oppression of women is carried out in the names of Judaism, Christianity and even Buddhism in a good number of countries.











LINK to my published journals.

LINK to my published BDSM manual.