Tag Archives: female domination

Idle wondering and innocent images

I love to see the pro Dommes who have what appears to be their own, long term sub. Despite the income earning nature of their output, you know they are REAL in a REAL relationship. Bojana the Balkan Brat, Mistress Elaine and sissy maid Vicky, Melanie the Barefoot Princess, Cruel Sarah and her cuck, Kelli and her cuck, Louis Margot and her cuck, Princess Perfect and her sub, etc.

What I sometimes wonder about is whether some of the deliciously cruel pro Domme women who regularly appear in videos and photo shoots with many DIFFERENT subs, have a long term male sub at home? A male sub at home who suffers a regime in keeping with the cruelty these delightful women show with the subs in their videos? (And do any of them read this blog I wonder ???)

For instance, any of the women from; Miami Mean girls,  from the Brat Princesses, from Men Are Slaves, etc. And women such as Empress Jennifer,  Mistress Cindy, Mistress Elise, Brat princess Christina, Miss Barnes, Goddess Amadahy, Cybil Troy, Sarah Eve, Karin Von Kroft, etc.















Might some of these women have a full time sub at home who they do not want on video? Or do they have a vanilla male because they get all their sadism and dominance out when making femdom videos?

Just something I sometimes ponder on.


Below I provide details of my new guide for beginner Dommes. Linked to my alternative blog and, possibly unique, as it is specifically written to avoid frightening a vanilla wife or girlfriend away from trying an FLR relationship.


The Beginners Guide; more positive feedback

You may recall that in response to requests, I wrote   a guide    and published an alternative  website specifically designed to persuade vanilla wives and girlfriends to have a try at becoming dominant.

I am not sure there is anything else available like this guide;  specifically written to entice wholly vanilla women to try part-time or full time domination of a submissive male. EVERYTHING is excluded that might, to a novice woman,  seem scary or unpleasant or perverted or excessively demanding.

I have received more positive feedback from Cardim about the effectiveness of the Guide.

Hi Scarlet,
Two weeks ago, my gorgeous wife read section two of  your book, A Beginners Guide, I never saw her as mean, as yesterday. I can see that she likes it more and more to be mean and dominant. Also in vanilla time. I never felt so dominated before, even though nothing extreme happens.

This follows earlier feedback from Cardim

Hi Scarlet,
A month ago, i bought your ‘Beginners Guide’ on amazon.
It is unbelievably good. I have been trying for almost a decade to convince my wife to be my mistress, with little succes.(i now understand, it was because of my expectations) Since i have read your ‘Beginners Guide’, i learned that i did everything wrong, while is was trying to teach my wife how to be a mistress.

Now that my wife has read just the first section of your ‘Beginners Guide’ and is experimenting with it, she is really really enjoying the dominance. The big change is that she can get into this new dynamic in our relationship at her on pace.

We are only a few weeks far with some DS time and mostly Vanilla time, but i am already scared of what she is going to do to me in the future, because her eyes tell me that she really likes this new dynamic now.

I would like to say a lot more, but my English is not good enough to explain everything i want to say.

So thank you very much for writing this book.

The above right menu tab, Tempt her to try dominance,  is an important read for submissive males think of buying this guide for their wife or girlfriend.

Lock down activities (No. 4)

This new activity was loosely inspired by my post of 1 May featuring who I now know to be, Miss Panic. I did since find she has a couple of videos on PornHub as well as the, often very wicked, short clips on the Twitter site I references in my earlier post. The video for which I have provided a link, also has her on her signal, having her arm pit covertly licked,  in public.

Lock down activity No. 4 is that bitch-boy now has a garnish added to every single drink and every single meal he consumes.  Normally it will be a mouthful of spit deposited into his mug or glass before he begins to drink, or I drop a mouthful of spit onto each plate or bowl of food he is about to consume. (This is during all the vanilla times. Obviously during DS times, it is my nectar from a jug that is added instead of, or as well as, my spit.)

He must always say, ‘Thank you Mistress’,  when I have added my spit garnish, and I always then respond, ‘I should think so!‘ The lock down does mean this applies to every single thing he consumes every single day, day after day after day.

I love his expression of humiliation and hurt both when I drop the spit, and when I say, ‘I should think so!’ in answer to his thanking me. And I feel a lovely little power rush and a reaffirmation that I own this submissive human being and I can use and abuse him howsoever I please.

Sometimes we will be in a 100% vanilla activity, when I have chosen to use him for his wonderful vanilla company, say watching a great movie or box set. The atmosphere of near equality is pierced as I drop my spit and we have our verbal exchange. Then gradually the atmosphere of near equality slowly returns, rather more quickly for me than for him though.

Lock down activities (No. 3)


Ideally the small spherical type as in this image but I guess any bell or bells will do.

Attach bells to your sub so they tinkle when the sub moves. Just a little humiliation that is quite sweet and it means the Domme, whenever in earshot, knows exactly where the sub is if they are moving about.

Top Tips

Places on the body that do not move very abruptly, may not produce a tinkle; such as on a collar D-ring or chastity device. If you wish to have a bell in such a location and want it to tinkle more, hang it on a length of string or fine ribbon about the length of a smart phone.

Bells to ankles will always tinkle when he walks and bells to wrists tinkle if the hands are being moved about.


For info on my own BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.


My impact punishment array

I do not know why I have never posted a photograph of my little collection of my favourite impact punishment implements I use when bitch-boy is secured face down over the dining table. So here it is.

I have described this collection in a number of my journals but, as they say, a picture is worth a thousand words. In the event of vanilla visitors, the whole array can be lifted by the two chains and locked in a cupboard upstairs as it is, the cupboard has two hooks inside the door. So it takes only seconds to return the array to the dining room wall once the vanilla visitors have departed.

Hook by hook, from the left: 1. The cock gag, cat collar for wrists and another for ankles, and yellow strap for binding his thighs together. 2. Red rubber paddle. (The underside has a fine diamond pattern of  little raised triangular ridges. It is VERY NASTY!) 3. My favourite cane; I have had for so long. 4. My agitation whip. 5. My dressage whip. 6. My large leather paddle. 7. My plastic cane. 8. My quirt.

I have to admit that in most deterrent punishment sessions I use every implement, except the large paddle and plastic cane. Those I do use, I use without mercy. Then there are  punishments for actual infractions. For those, normally it is the dressage whip and cane.

In my journals, I have used words to describe the business side of the red rubber paddle. But,  again, a picture is worth at thousand words.

This paddle is VERY NASTY!

I have a routine where the more rigid implements are used first and directed at the central meaty area. (My favourite cane and the plastic cane if I use that. Then, using the rubber paddle,  I like to warm and redden the areas above, below and to either side of the  central meaty area. These areas are rather more sensitive and my puppet makes quite a fuss while I apply the paddle. I am not surprised. I did once test the paddle on the underside of my forearm. (The best place for testing.) It is as though it is red hot, such is the intense, painful heat it leaves behind! The third stage involves wraparound. (which I explain fully in my BDSM Manual. What follows, and seems revlevant, is an excerpt from my next journal, No.17, which is almost completed.

………………….. I began with light strokes while I talked.

                ‘For the avoidance of doubt little sissy; I know with my very flexible implements there can be wraparound. This dressage whip, the agitation whip and the quirt. And I know wraparound happens on the sides of your butt and hips and I know the further around the sides of your butt and hips I go, the more sensitive the flesh is.’ I landed a couple of hard strokes and the whip made its lovely whistling noise as it travelled through the air. I returned to talking.

                ‘So when there is wraparound, it will not be an accident, just to be clear.’ I landed a couple of hard strokes again. Again  the whip made its lovely whistling noise as it travelled through the air. I then again returned to talking.

                ‘I am an unashamed sadist. I get pleasure from hurting you. But also, it is very important to me that you are well marked from this punishment. I love to see those marks during the rest of the day. And wraparound makes the best marks, as you know. I also know that four inches of wraparound hurts twice as much as two inches of wraparound. But four inches of wraparound gives me twice the length of a clearly visible mark to enjoy. So what you need to understand is that if I am applying four inches of wraparound, or even six, I AM MEANING TO! And even if perhaps, with the occasional wayward stroke, I apply more wraparound than I mean to, when practicing my backhand, I will be pleased about that; NOT GUILTY! I won’t feel guilty because there was more wraparound than intended. I will be happy over my accidentally placed stroke. I just wanted to avoid any ambiguity maggot.’ On finishing my little speech I immediately began using the dressage whip full force and with about three inches of wraparound. He immediately began pleading and pleading. I was very aroused as I continued with the dressage whip.

Next came the agitation whip. I chose five inches of wraparound and he began to properly sob between bouts of pleading. I was so delighted to have avoided ambiguity! (A very painful episode, clearly due to a Domme’s negligence or ignorance, does not cause awe in the mind of the submissive, almost the opposite. And it is not that arousing for the Domme. Whereas a very painful episode,  as a result of the Domme’s expert knowledge and intended purpose………..


My 16th journal –  LINK




Always open to feedback

Before responding, I have allowed a few days of a sometimes heated exchange to play out in the comments section over what some have seen as an unwelcome trend of content on this blog, and others have defended. I thought I should reassure my loyal blog followers that there will never be a content shift that ignores the drivers of the majority of submissive males, but equally there may be periods focussed on specific topic areas that not everyone likes. I do respond to feedback however. I think before going further though I should briefly set out why I began this blog and its purposes.

I  began this blog because of an apparent vacuum. The demise of Madame’s magazines and the shift in the content of Petticoated.com from letters from Dommes about petticoat PUNISHMENT, to letters from Sissy’s who cannot wait to be dolled up in frillies, left a vacuum. I could find literally nothing that was content from REAL domestic Dommes. Why did this matter? It mattered to me because it was the content of Madame magazines and the original Petticoated.com that got me into being the dominant I am. bitch-boy introduced me to the concept of femdom, but these two ‘publications’ provided the revelation that there was a lifestyle, and there were many dominant activities, that I was SERIOUSLY attracted to. The rest of the internet had mostly femdom content that put me off!

So this brings me onto the purpose of this blog. It is to inform the women, who have decided to try femdom, of the myriad of femdom lifestyles and activities that exist. Hopefully helping them to create a symbiotic femdom relationship with a submissive male  making both parties very content indeed. For her to understand he needs stuff to happen to him he does not like in order to sleep contented, submissive sleep. To know it is alright to be cruel and to enjoy being cruel. Given there is a surplus of submissive males, it is females who need inspiration and inducement.  My strategy is to PROVIDE REAL LIFE INFORMATION to women. This I have tried to do. I have also wanted isolated submissive males to understand they are not alone or perverted and they should not be ashamed to be submissive sexually, (although it may need to be kept secret from the vanilla world).

I definitely welcome that most submissive males find themselves quite aroused a lot of the time they read this blog. I want them to be and to feel submissive and so to feel respect for women, and to want to seek out a femdom relationship. However I will not be pandering to males fantasies to the exclusion of broad information dissemination.

I will cover every aspect of real life female domination I think may be useful. So if, as a male, you find there is a theme for a while that does not make you feel submissive, just a polite comment communicating this is all that is needed. Or, much more importantly, if I have stopped covering a favourite theme of yours. If that view is enlightening to me, or shared by many, I will take it into account, but I will still cover every topic of real life domination I consider useful, so you may have to be a little patient. Of course, there will be many, many males who feel very submissive reading content that does not make a few males feel submissive at all.

A number of males have commented and a tiny proportion actually seem angry with me because of the current content. As though I owe them something with this FREE site they have used for years as wank fodder. Obviously these males identify themselves by their actions and emotions as submissives who will NEVER EVER find a dominant woman interested in them. (Especially those that take the trouble to comment to me that they will no longer be following my blog. (Just go; no need to tell  me you are flouncing off. Their petty nastiness in their futile desire to hurt me, the disrespect, the absence of loyalty, the impatience, the unwarranted sense of  entitlement.)

So, if you want to give me feedback, please do. As some have done so with polite, courteous, measured, feedback. I will take that into account. And a very warm thank you to all those who gave support and loyalty in the exchanges. I am very grateful.

(For completeness, the intention of this blog is not to persuade VANILLA women to try femdom. My alternative blog is intended to meet that objective.)




Real Life

Two wonderfully praising comments gratefully received recently. It is truly heart warming to receive such comments and I thank the authors sincerely. I have inserted links where that might add more context.

Comment 1

March 2020. To all Dommes & submissives who may be considering any/all the above, [the Journals], i hope the following comment will be of interest.

My MistressWife, Serena and i have led a FemDom lifestyle in varying degrees for 30 years. Serena isnt a natural Domme, but experienced and more than efficient. i have been submissive since early childhood.

We have all of Mistress Scarlets Journals, and Her superb BDSM Manual. i can say without fear of contradiction that all have been of immense interest and have enhanced our relationship beyond expectation.

We have been following MsScarlets blog for 6 years or more, and likewise subscribed to her above publications, and our D/s lifestyle since, has never been more rewarding.

We thank Her often, but can never thank Her enough.


Comment 2

Mistress Scarlet,

thank you very much for replying to my comment. I am honoured that you should take the time to respond and take any interest at all in my situation.

Your alternative blog is wonderful: an incredibly useful and insightful guide for women with submissive partners. The examples and testimonies you provide, along with your own comments and advice, are excellent.

It is a fantastic resource for those of us who are trying to explain our submissive feelings to our partners and the potential advantages a relationship built on dominance and submission can offer them.

I am not sure that my partner is quite ready, yet, for this amount of information. I think she is still trying to gain the confidence to practice relatively light and playful domination and I am very wary of putting any pressure on her to move too quickly.

I suspect that the thought of a more intense D/S relationship is still too uncomfortable for her at the moment, and so I am still reluctant to move too fast. I never want her to feel overwhelmed by my desires or put off by examples that seem too intense or extreme for her to understand. In the long term I am sure that she will be able to develop her dominance over me, but I love her very deeply and I do not want to do anything to risk upsetting her by trying to make her adapt too quickly.

Of course I do want to engage in more sustained and extreme D/S and I want to continue to try to show her how it can benefit both of us, but I am cautious about putting pressure on her or making it feel as though I am trying to persuade her to do something she feels uncomfortable with.

In time, when she is more accustomed to dominating me and feels more comfortable, your alternative blog will be an ideal starting point and will I am sure help her to grow in confidence and deepen her control over me. I will certainly encourage her to read it when she is ready.

Thank you so much for your help and encouragement. And thank you for all the outstanding work you do to help women embrace their superiority and take advantage of submissive creatures like me. You truly are an inspiration and your blogs and journals are a hugely important resource.

In submission and obedience,

slave 307




Find Paperback                                           Find it in ePub format

Purchase for AMAZON KINDLE

US   UK    DE    ES    FR    IT    NL   JP    BR     CA     MX    AU     IN


The Beginners’ Guide works!

Two parts to this post. The first is another testimonial to the efficacy of  my alternative blog and to the Beginners Manual. Thank you to everybody who contributed to these resources. It seems three women I know of are now Dommes who would not be, but for these resources. How many might also now be, with whom I have had no contact?

The second part of this post is both a continuation of yesterdays post and some more on persuading vanilla women to have a go at being a Domme. What real life FLR is; and what isn’t it?


Hi Scarlet,
A month ago, i bought your ‘Beginners Guide’ on amazon.

It is unbelievably good. I have been trying for almost a decade to convince my wife to be my mistress, with little succes.(i now understand, it was because of my expectations) Since i have read your ‘Beginners Guide’, i learned that i did everything wrong, while i was trying to teach my wife how to be a mistress.

Now that my wife has read just the first section of your ‘Beginners Guide’ and is experimenting with it, she is really, really enjoying the dominance. The big change is that she can get into this new dynamic in our relationship at her on pace.

We are only a few weeks in so far with some DS time and mostly Vanilla time, but i am already scared of what she is going to do to me in the future, because her eyes tell me that she really likes this new dynamic now.

I would like to say a lot more, but my English is not good enough to explain everything i want to say.

So thank you very much for writing this book.



The strength of feeling of the comments on yesterdays post, from me, in writing it, and specially from Miss Anne and Carla who kindly commented on it, led me to think what would two lists look like? (A) Attributes of what REAL LIFE FLR is (B) What REAL LIFE FLR is not! Please feel free to suggest additions / deletions from each list.

REAL LIFE FLR usually, but not always, includes:

  • Chastity and degrees of denial for him;
  • Amazing orgasms and sexual satisfaction for her;
  • Most or all chores done by him;
  • An enduring, life long relationship;
  • A relationship intensity experienced by very few other relationship types;
  • She does what she wants all the time;
  • Two profoundly content people;
  • Hours of enforced tedium for him;
  • Hours of relaxation and pleasure for her;
  • She has as much financial control as she wishes
  • Continuing and evolving personal erotic growth for her;
  • Regretting what he wished for, for him, but he still feels so lucky and would NEVER leave.


REAL LIFE FLR very rarely or never includes:

  • Fully equipped dungeons, warehouses, abandoned buildings;
  • PVC and latex for her;
  • A focus on what he wants;
  • Supermodel beauty of face and body defines her;
  • Endless pegging of him;
  • A short lived relationship;
  • She does what he wants a lot of the time;
  • Discontentment in either party;
  • Hard work and effort for her;
  • Rows and arguments.



For info on my own BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.


Record starts and stops!

The recent post from Lady Jessica prompted me to write this blog post as I have historically,  seriously erred and I hope other Dommes will avoid my mistakes.

My advice to avoid my mistakes depends on what regime changes you may contemplate for the future for your submissive. The advice is: to keep records of dates of events.

Prohibiting Things

For instance; if you are thinking one day, you will decide he no longer ever will be allowed to penetrate you, then write down the date of each time he does. Why? So that when the last time happens, you will have a note of the date of the last time.

I don’t even know the year, let alone the date! If I knew the date, I could hold a little anniversary ‘party’ each year to celebrate when bitch-boy first became a born-again-virgin (BAV).  And I could taunt him from time to time over how many years it has been. Alas I only know it is in the region of 14 to 16 years. At the time, I did not know the last time was the last time. I had not planned to make him a BAV at that time, I just prohibited it for longer and longer and longer and all of a sudden I chose for it to be a lifetime prohibition.

You may be contemplating banning your sub from all but spoiled orgasms for the rest of his life. Write down each time he has a full one, as that may turn out to be the last time and you will have the date.

So I guess I am suggesting; Dommes keep a sex and dominance diary. (Or they instruct their sub to.)

There are so many things! Last : penetration, full orgasm, orgasm of any kind, day free of a chastity device, etc, etc, etc. (Please comment with suggestions of other significant ‘events’ that should be recorded.)

Starting Things

So far I have only discussed stopping things. There is also, starting things. On 4 April 2020 Lady Jessica started having her skivvy write lines on each sheet of her toilet paper, for the rest of his life. I hope, (and I am sure she will), record the date that regime started! So useful to be able to ‘celebrate’ each anniversary date, year after year after year.

I luckily have the date I last gave bitch-boy an orgasm using my skilful hands and began the regime of his ‘orgasms’ only happening either, under the soles of my shoes or, (if I have a relevant exercise  injury),  inside the sharp bristles of his special toilet brush. I only have the date because of this blog! So I can celebrate the anniversaries and taunt him over them. (I don’t have the date of the first time I cuckolded him, and he became a cuckold!)

In fact having the date of such things, hardens my heart, (as if needs hardening!), to maintain the regime 100%!   No rare, ‘one-off’ kindnesses as it would be such a shame to ‘restart the clock’.

Obviously if a regime start date is planned, that is no problem. BUT, if you begin a regime because it creeps up on you; because it slowly evolves to become a regime, you will only have the start date of that regime if you record all that might become significant on an ongoing basis.


My 16th journal –  LINK