Declarations and Domme’s Orgasms

I received the comment below and felt my lengthy answer really desrved to be a blog post rather than be hidden away as a comment response. So here is the comment I received followed by my answer.

Dear Mistress Scarlet,

If I may, I would like to make one comment and pose one question.

Firstly, I would like to comment on the life-changing power, perhaps under-appreciated by some, of the making of a formal declaration. It is one thing to see that a change (such as ever-lengthening delay between release) has ‘crept into’ your life; and to be told, in bold and explicit terms, that such the change is deliberate, recognised to be unfair, and utterly permanent. I have seen that a number of times in my relationship, most recently when Mistress announced that I was a Born-Again Virgin.

With an undeclared change, the sub can always cling onto the idea that it is temporary, inadvertent, or a mistake. That hope is dashed with a formal declaration. I also wonder what effect that has on the dominant woman. Which brings me onto my question…

In many posts and in your books, you state that increasing levels of dominance and cruelty ‘ratcheted up’ your sexual (and other forms of) satisfaction with your relationship with BB. But, on hearing about the frequency and intensity of your enjoyment, one rationalisation is that this must be because you (Mistress Scarlet) are an unusual and rare woman who just has the capacity for multiple frequent orgasms, and so other women cannot replicate similar levels of enjoyment.

So could I ask you to please clarify (and yes, I am aware that this question has overtones of the line from Life of Brian ‘If it’s not a personal question: are you a virgin?’) if, before you discovered BDSM, were you someone who had an unusual capacity for fulfillment from vanilla sex? Or (as I suspect) were you previously a person with a fairly ordinary level of response, and attribute your current degrees of arousal and satisfaction entirely to the levels of sadism and dominance which you practice? To put it another way, do you have an unusual responsiveness to the ‘drug’ or is it a medication from which anyone from benefit?

My Answer

An indication of how much I agree with you about the value and significance of declaring changes which are intended to be permanent, is that two chapters of my new publication, Addendum No.1, deal with this topic. Not just deal with it but provide suggestions to maximise the impact. The first section is about Recording Dates of the last time ever of an activity, so that anniversaries can be ‘celebrated’. The second is about A Cruel Countdown Procedure that can be used in the lead up to the last time ever of an activity. Neither can be employed without a declaration.

Putting aside the huge effect on bitch-boy of having made a declaration, the effect on me of having made a declaration is very powerful indeed. Having made my six week minimum gap for orgasms declaration; I feel totally pitiless, all powerful, decadent and truly cruel. A heady cocktail of feelings that do lead to arousal. Which brings me to orgasms for Dommes. (I sense you may have read my latest publication?)   In Addendum No.1, there is a large chapter on enhancing the number and intensity of the Domme’s orgasms.  

Although you ask very personal questions, I feel I must answer them to further my crusade to have more women enjoy the number and intensity of orgasms I enjoy. My story does cover the key issues. Firstly, I do not have a rare and unusual capacity for numerous, powerful orgasms. I do know what prevented me from so being, until my eyes were opened to a few facts.

Until I met bitch-boy I had never masturbated and had had hardly any orgasms; although I had boyfriends from the age of 15 and then a husband. (So no, I certainly am not a virgin!) BUT, the first night I spent with bitch-boy, I had more orgasms that one night than I had previously had, added together, in the whole of my life before that night. No wonder I fell for him!

This brings me to the first AND CRITICAL FACT that applies to me and to every single woman I have ‘converted’ over this fact. Relying solely on penetrative orgasms is a huge mistake. Clitoral orgasms is where intensity and large numbers of orgasms are found for most women. bitch-boy being submissive, (unbeknown to me at the time), had his head between my thighs that first night and kept it there for a LONG, LONG time. (I was much younger than him with an amazing body, I can understand he was driven by his submissiveness to secretly worship me that night the best he knew how.) He also told me that night that I should not attempt to have him get as much pleasure as me, because men are built for one orgasm and women are built for many. I felt it was unfair on him but he insisted and I went with it. Look where that has ended up! (Be careful what you wish for.)

A few years later when my dominance and his submission had begun in earnest, I read an article that set out how dominant women should masturbate because of the number and intensity of orgasms that are possible – without a man’s assistance! The article also suggested it is optimal to use a vibrator wand. (It suggested a Hitachi 5000- it was years ago.)

I experimented and the article changed my life! Then once I began to become a SERIOUS Domme; unsympathetic and unashamed in wielding power, gratuitously, cruelly and pitilessly, I understood the saying, ‘power is an aphrodisiac’. It certainly is! I am not alone by any means in my orgasm numbers. Every single Domme with whom I have engaged in relevant conversations, who uses a wand and who masturbates, enjoys the number and intensity of orgasms I do. I should stress this masturbation is most often in front of one’s submissive; it is not exclusively performed alone, although I do both.

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Making Comments on posts: Comments do not appear on my blog until I have moderated them. Comments that insult anyone will not be published, nor will aggressive comments. A wide range of views is truly welcome, we all have things to learn, however comments will not be published that take a contrary or critical view to any aspect of a post, but fail to explain why this contrary view is held, or fail to address the reasoning set out in the post to which the comment relates. (Such unexplained contrary comments are simply boring.)

Another big step change

Three weeks ago, 6th May, I made another step-change in my chastity and denial regimen for poor bitch-boy. A big one, that I will describe shortly in this post. It is not big in comparison to the regimen of the puppets of Miss Anne, or of Christine M, or of Brigite, but for bitch-boy it is HUGE. And for me too.

I will also use this post to mention that last September I began collecting entries for a new Journal. (It will be Journal No. 18.) But I only write an account for a journal if it involves something new, so given the lock-down, there had not until recently been many new things to write about. I mention the forthcoming journal because it is easiest for me to describe the latest step-change by way of an excerpt from the draft Journal No. 18 which describes events on the 6th May this year.

I don’t think I have ever made clear in this blog that on the 6th June 2020 I started a new chastity and denial regimen for bitch-boy. The two ‘new’ aspects were he was not allowed out of his cage even to wash his genitals, (he could do so between the cage bars), and, instead of having an orgasm, as a general rule every 10 days to 2 weeks, the denial periods became much, much longer. (This is all set out in detail in the impending Journal No. 18)

(In the 11 months of that new regimen up to 6th May 2021, he had only cum 5 times. On 6th May 2021 he had been 8.5 weeks without orgasm and he has still not had an orgasm as of the date of this post and he knows he will not be getting one until at least 7th June at the very earliest. The 6th June 2021 is his one year anniversary of his new chastity and denial regimen. )

Excerpt from my forthcoming Journal No.18, for 6th May 2021

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I stood in front of the full-length mirror looking at myself and I called him up to me. He entered the room and I heard him emit an outbreath of emotion. I turned to him and, while I spoke to him, I began the pose routine I had used earlier.

                ‘Am I beautiful puppet? Do I make you desperate?’ He was almost sobbing as he emotionally answered in the affirmative. I stayed my distance so he could take in all of my body without having to look up and down.

                ‘Given your age and your shape, I am totally out of your league aren’t I. You are so, so privileged to be married to me, with a body like this. Far more than you deserve. And that’s why you have to suffer isn’t it. Suffer for the privilege. Suffer a great deal. Like you are suffering now.’ I paused and he actually started making sobbing noises of, I assumed, sexual frustration. I was REALLY enjoying myself.

‘Well I have made a decision and I thought it only right I should be looking my most sexy when I advised you of this decision. You know in the last eleven months you have gone between six weeks and seventeen weeks between orgasms. And you know I am almost certainly moving you to a state of never having an orgasm again for the rest of your life. Well, your orgasm frequency this past eleven months has all been quite haphazard and while I am happy with that as a way forward in general, I have decided you will never, for the rest of your life, cum without at least a six week gap since the previous orgasm.’ He began to breathe in short gasps. He was about to speak but instead I continued.

‘The only way that will change is the six weeks will be increased. Increased to two months, three months, six months? I don’t know yet when or how big the first increase will be. Perhaps I will jump from six weeks straight to six months! And obviously the minimum period of six weeks will still only be the minimum denial period. You will frequently go periods of much longer than whatever the minimum period is at the time. Two orgasms six weeks apart will most likely be a very rare treat.’ He dropped to his knees, close to tears. My formalisation of what had been a random minimum was devastating for him. He has learned so many times that when there is a click of the ratchet, it NEVER gets clicked back.  My cunt was now very wet! He crawled to me and began kissing my feet while begging me to reconsider. He was holding onto my long heels while he kissed and begged. My only response was to tell him to let go of my heels. He did so and he put his palms flat on the floor. I remained silent. I simply looked down at him begging and worshipping in his state of extremely emotional distress. Such was my arousal I actually put my finger to my clit and very gently stroked while I looked down at my distressed puppet as he continued kissing my feet and pleading. I lived in the moment relishing my feelings of cruelty, absolute power and unreserved heartlessness.

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I should add that my orgasm count has increased quite dramatically as a result of his new denial regimen. Vanilla days before his new regimen, I almost never had an orgasm. I now have 2 or 3 orgasms on around 80% of vanilla days. And I tease him with my body for at least 5 minutes, around 80% of vanilla days. His constant and extreme sexual frustration and his suffering as a result, has me aroused every time I think about the cruelty of it and think about my levels of pitiless cruelty, my power over him and the extreme unfairness – Just from vanilla days each week, I have more orgasms than he will have in three years. And more orgasms every single DS day than he will have in 2 years.

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Making Comments on posts: Comments do not appear on my blog until I have moderated them. Comments that insult anyone will not be published, nor will aggressive comments. A wide range of views is truly welcome, we all have things to learn, however comments will not be published that take a contrary or critical view to any aspect of a post, but fail to explain why this contrary view is held, or fail to address the reasoning set out in the post to which the comment relates. (Such unexplained contrary comments are simply boring.)

My Addendum No.1 is published in ePub format.

Addendum No.1 is now published as an eBook on LULU.com, in ePub format. My previous blog post gave full details about the book.

This is the first review: An excellent book. I am reading and loving it. You have such a unique writing style. As I read it I am transported into a submissive experience where the terrifying yet highly arousing torments are endured by me. It stirs me deeply. What a powerful array of guides and methods for any Domme and her fortunate sub. JMF

This is the second review: A highly rewarding and addictive read for anyone into this so special lifestyle from either side. For those less experienced to the experienced there is something for whatever stage their relationship is at. There is both width and depth and a high level of experience and understanding from the author. So you can go back and review if it is not quite the right time. Any Mistress wishing to deepen their Submissive’s desire to go deeper into subspace will be enthralled by new ideas that push a sub to yearn for more. Boundary breaking. Excellent from start to finish. More please. PB

Cake and eat it too!

One major hurdle for women flirting with the idea of being a Domme is often expressed with words to the effect of: ‘I want a real man, to look after me, not a weak submissive man.‘ And one major hurdle for Mistress-wives flirting with the idea of dressing their submissive as a French maid, or sissy maid, or parody of a schoolgirl, or parody of a little girl, is often expressed with words to the effect of: ‘I want to dominate a real masculine man not a weak feminine man.’

Well I implore such women to experiment and they will most often find they can have their cake and eat it too. ALL the women I have been in close exchanges with who have experimented after expressing such qualms, change their approach and never look back! By way of explanation I will give a brief insight into a day of mine a few days ago .

When bitch-boy woke me with tea in bed, I informed him that the day was to be a full-on DS day. He would repeatedly suffer considerable physical discomfort and he would suffer very considerable humiliation and tedium for a lengthy period. And he would NOT be getting to cum. The DS element of the day would probably last seven or eight hours.

Before he had got very far digesting this announcement and coming to terms with it, I asked him. ‘What do you say?’ I adore this simple verbal tweaking of his submissive soul with the injustice of him having to answer as he must. Which he did, although a little gloomily. ‘Thank you Mistress.‘ I answered in a tone of mock irritation. ‘I should think so!‘ What a lovely start to my day; and plenty for my poor puppet to think about.

However, sticking to the point of this post , I will skim over his very hash deterrent punishment, (Oh how he pleaded, and I repeatedly, verbally raised and dashed his hopes that I might end the punishment! Until finally I did). I will skim over how I played with his boy’s bits for over an hour while he was in sensory deprivation bondage and I sat next to him on the sofa and I watched a subtitled TV programme I love. (He has not cum for 9 weeks!) I will skim over his second punishment, given just because I could; and later how his stiff little defect suffered while I used my Vampire gloves. And I now get to the first relevant activity for this post.

I had him dressed in his full-on parody of a little girl outfit, (see previous post), and for half an hour he had to face me and whisper the words to the nursery rhyme, I’m a little tea-pot while performing the actions, while mainly ignored him and I enjoyed social media on my cell phone. Occasionally I would glance up at him and, using a harsh tone, briefly tell him how pathetic he was.

Then he had to colour-in with his dolly for THREE HOURS! His humiliation was very deep as was his tedium. He hated every second of that humiliation, made worse by my sporadic comments about how he was not a real man, just a pathetic sissy and a pathetic submissive put on this planet to be used and abused by women like me. I whipped and stomped on his defect on the stomping stage for half an hour and, having had 9 orgasms throughout the day, I finally decided DS time was over. (He got locked back up: He did not get to cum.)

And I now get to the second relevant activity for this post. I told him I would now be using him for his vanilla company until sleep time. He put things away and changed into his vanilla clothes. We then sat in the conservatory, discussed the news of the day, and drunk wine together. I nestled into his large barrel chest and his muscular heavy arm comfortingly draped over me. I felt utterly content, and comfortable and protected and safe. All was right and perfect in my world.

I praised and thanked him for how he had charmingly but assertively dealt with a brutish argumentative delivery driver the day before and a tradesman working on the boundary with the neighbours house on the same day. (It made me think about a holiday I am planning in a slightly dodgy third world country and how safe I will feel with the charmingly assertive, barrel chested, large shouldered bitch-boy by my side.) I slept briefly for a while with my head on his chest. (Believe me, a couple of lengthy sessions wielding punishment implements and NINE massive orgasms in a day, takes it out of girl!) I woke and, after we ate, we watched TV, with me again cuddled into him, resting my head on his chest. What a blissful day!

So ladies, experiment! Your submissive needs to suffer deep humiliation to sleep the very soundest sleep of a submissive – who truly knows he is; helplessly in the power of a cruel, pitiless, dominant woman. AND YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO!

Making Comments on this post: Comments do not appear on my blog until I have moderated them. Comments that insult anyone will not be published, nor will aggressive comments. A wide range of views is truly welcome, we all have things to learn, however comments will not be published that take a contrary or critical view to any aspect of the post, but fail to explain why this contrary view is held, or fail to address the reasoning set out in the post to which the comment relates. (Such unexplained comments are simply boring.)

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A link to all my publications HERE, including:

Findings – ‘Like it never happened’

Well the responses to my research post of 20 April 2021 were large in number, (thank you all), and fascinating in content; and there was a consistent experience of the phenomenon researched, by all but one of the many submissives who responded. That phenomenon is; that for 99% of submissive males, if they are denied orgasm for around three or four weeks or more, then a desperate sexual frustration builds up, THAT IS ONLY RELIEVED FOR AN HOUR OR SO AFTER AN ORGASM. THEN THE FRUSTRATION FULLY RETURNS AS THOUGH THEY NEVER HAD THAT ORGASM.

It is the words in bold that are important. This phenomenon was reported to me by my bitch-boy and it seems is just about universally experienced. This is good to know if you are a Domme, because there is a clear interconnection between a submissive’s level of desperate sexual frustration and how submissive and obedient he feels and how in awe of his Mistress he feels. Many, like bitch-boy, felt the pre-orgasm level of frustration/submissiveness return in less than an hour after orgasm, (poor puppets), if the orgasms are at least four weeks apart.

If you have not read all the comments on my post of 20 April, you may find them worth a read, both from the point of view of learning about this issue but also because there are some very cruel Mistresses, enforcing some very harsh regimes, that make for quite a hot read! Regular readers will know I made a huge step change with bitch-boy’s chastity regime on 6 June last year. Hence this issue arose. The bullet points are excerpts from some of the comments.

There is an issue regarding prostate health that each person involved must take a view on, but I again provide a link, to a post about recent prostate health research, particularly for the under 30s.

I thank you sincerely if you responded on this issue.

• According to my Mistress’ philosophy, men should be lifelong deprived of ejaculation, as that is the only way to keep them continuously on edge and totally focused on their Mistress’ desires.She says (Miss B) that the mental agony of waiting for an orgasm is more powerful when the period of abstinence is rather short, but when the chastity is extended for a lifetime, there are other ways to torture mentally the slave, bringing him fruitlessly to the edge, (depending also on his inborn fetishes) like showing herself nude or masturbating,wearing leather or lace lingerie, getting him sniff her at close distance, but without touching, rubbing his cock under the sole of her boots, etc.This year, on October 16th, will mark the 8th year of my total chastity. In a way it’d be almost better… if it weren’t for Mistress that, taking off my spiked cage for a few minutes, crushes and rubs my cock with her boots, when she feels in a playing mood…
• I really I would like to know the answer. I tend more to allow a very rare orgasm just to put him in mental agony and remind him of what he loses.
• If I make a remark [about my level of suffering] I am either ignored or get a sarcastic answer. Compassion is out
• My wife only allows one orgasm per month, but it is always ruined. Almost immediately I crave another orgasm, and for a few days afterwards I’m more desperate to cum than I was before, and can’t stop thinking about it. But that might also be because of the way she makes me cum and the ‘shame’ involved, which is very affecting at the time.
• my Wife has grown accustomed to ruining them. Right after that, i really want that second orgasm and her denying it without pity really is the key to keeping me in subspace.
• ….In effect, my chastity device became a refuge from her torture. After a couple years of this treatment, she concluded I would be happier if my penis were left alone, and she quit releasing me. I have now been continuously locked for over three years, and she has shifted her attention to torturing my testicles regularly. She has always enjoyed playing with them while she has considered penises symbols of female oppression.
• Since 2002 she has kept me locked all the time with releases about once a month if I was good up until 2019. She upgraded me to a custom fit Cherry Keeper device and extended my releases to only one every two months.

Making Comments on this post: Comments do not appear on my blog until I have moderated them. Comments that insult anyone will not be published, nor will aggressive comments. A wide range of views is truly welcome, we all have things to learn, however comments will not be published that take a contrary or critical view to any aspect of the post, but fail to explain why this contrary view is held, or fail to address the reasoning set out in the post to which the comment relates. (Such unexplained comments are simply boring.)

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For info on my BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.

Nurse Nasty’s new brush

17 April 2021

Following a tip from a fellow Domme, I saw this advertised in a magazine and immediately thought it may be a particularly effortlessly effective tool for Nurse Nasty to use during cleaning phases of naughty, little, stiff birth-defects.

It arrived; and holding it in my right hand and using a light scrubbing motion on the underside of my left forearm, certainly gives me the feeling I was right when I saw it. The bristles are quite sharp and It will indeed be a particularly effortlessly VERY effective tool for Nurse Nasty to use.

The underside of my left forearm is where I try most new toys to be used on birth-defects. It is sensitive skin, but perhaps not quite so sensitive as the skin of a birth defect; but I get a good gauge. It’s a while since a fully restrained and gagged bitch-boy, (with legs secured wide apart in the gynecological stirrups), and he has endured a thorough clean and treatment session from Nurse Nasty. And after the thorough cleaning, as the nettles are now at their most stinging this time of year, I think, to start, a herbal, organic nettle ‘treatment’ will be very thoroughly applied after the cleaning; followed by a skin invigorating ruler smacking, then a ‘soothing’ Linnex moisturise. Of course, pleading for the treatments to stop will not be of value because, as we all know; NURSE KNOWS BEST!

During this first treatment session, Nurse Nasty will no doubt have to sit and rest several times, with her Lelo wand in hand, such will be the patient’s whimpering and pleading and sobbing, she will HAVE TO satisfy her own resultant symptoms! While the patient is suffering the Linnex and feeling so very, very sorry for himself, he will be told he is to get a rest of half an hour, to an hour, and then treatment session two will take place; exactly the same as treatment session one. (I do think double-downs are so good for submissives that need to be left in no doubt they are: truly helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel dominant! It helps them sleep so soundly at night.) And bitch-boy is SOOOOO lucky to have all this free private health care!

[The double-down concept is included in my published, Addendum No.1. Simply put, a double -down is when a sub is just finishing enduring a particularly tough time and is feeling VERY sorry for himself, the Domme immediately announces there is forthwith to be another very horrible thing for him to endure. No sympathy, no pity – The Double-Down. Regular blog readers may have noticed Christine M frequently uses double-downs and sometimes even triple-downs!]

Making Comments on this post: Comments do not appear on my blog until I have moderated them. Comments that insult anyone will not be published, nor will aggressive comments. A wide range of views is truly welcome, we all have things to learn, however comments will not be published that take a contrary or critical view to any aspect of the post, but fail to explain why this contrary view is held, or fail to address the reasoning set out in the post to which the comment relates. (Such unexplained comments are simply boring.)

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A link to all my publications HERE, including:

Curt Dismissals

I have mentioned the dominant pleasure from curt instructions a number of times on my blog. Well, as a result of my research for my, soon to be published, Addendum No.1, (an addendum to my original BDSM manual), I have come across, ‘Curt Dismissals.’ Below are two paragraphs extracted from a short section in my Addendum No.1 on ‘Curt Dismissals.’ I have begun to use them a lot and ADORE USING THEM! So my question to Dommes and subs is; are they as affecting for you, as they are for bitch-boy and I, although for each of us, affecting in very different ways!

…….. I use another situation for curt dismissals on vanilla days whenever I am about to do something for which I will be alone in a room. I may be about to start a yoga session, or work on one of my craft activities, or about to video chat with one or more friends or relatives, or make a pre-arranged phone call for a chat with someone. Alternatively, he is about to go to another room or outdoors, for chore work while I, for instance, watch TV.  A couple of minutes before I am ready to start, or he is about to depart, I will get bitch-boy to bring me a cup of tea or a glass of water. (This is usually by using a curt instruction, i.e. ‘Cup of tea, bitch.’) As soon as I hear he has placed the drink down, and always while I look elsewhere than at him, I use the curt dismissal, ‘Now fuck-off.’  I found it is quite easy to get into the habit of awareness that I am about to be in a different room to him for a while and, as soon as that awareness hits me, I wait until there is a couple of minutes to go, and then I curtly ask for my glass of water or cup of tea and, as soon as it is placed down, curtly tell him to, ‘Fuck-off’.………

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……… If you are a Domme who really cannot swear that does mean, ironically, by not using swear-word curt dismissals, you will be missing out the most, exactly because if you do not ever swear, a swear-word curt dismissal will have even more impact. However, instead of ‘fuck-off’, you could try, ‘You’re dismissed’ or ‘Are you still here?’, or, ‘Get out of my sight.’ ……..

My Addendum No.1 is almost completed and I have been amazed to find it tops 50,000 words of techniques and sophistications of dominance not included in my original BDSM manual. I have been so fortunate that the four years since publishing my original manual have been brimming full of exchanges with other Dommes and subs in mainly long-term DS relationships; and the additional ways to apply dominance have flooded in!

This is an amendment paragraph to the first version of this post as a commenter raised an issue I feel well worthy of discussion. He felt I was lowering my stature by using the phrase, ‘Fuck-off.’ This is my view on this matter: I understand that when people use this term because that is the limit of their vocabulary, it indicates a poor education. When it is a chosen option from a large number of available options to the user, and it is selected precisely because it is offensive to the recipient to be so addressed, it does not indicate poor education. So I am truly interested to understand how you reason it lowers the user in stature and indeed how you define stature? Further, I think if dogma is put aside the measure of appropriateness is a personal thing between two people. bitch-boy knows I have an excellent vocabulary, he knows I could dismiss him with a wide selection of words. He knows I choose, ‘fuck-off’, because I know it will offend him and cause him to feel more disrespected than any other option. How does this lower me in status?

For info on my BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.

Images of REAL Dominant wives and girlfriends

Well, not exactly, but…………………..

There are many submissive men who wish their wife or girlfriend was dominant, or who are seeking a dominant female. The internet, with 90% of its images of dominant women being professional dominatrices, can easily trick submissive men into thinking those internet images are what dominant women look like and behave like most of the time.

So here are images that represent what most submissive men see most of the time when those men are under the 24/7/365 domination of a REAL dominant woman. Not a Miss-World-super-model dressed in a selection from PVC, latex, corsets, above the elbow gloves, exotic lingerie, thigh high boots, sky high heels, etc. But a girl-next-door -type, dressed in everyday clothes, or sometimes alluring, but comfortable clothes. And not endlessly using BDSM equipment in her constant attendance to the male, but relaxing while the male, often in another room, toils on chores, or tedium torments, or becomes human furniture or waits quietly for an instruction.

And there will be vanilla times when a REAL dominant woman uses her male for his vanilla company. And there will be lots of orgasms – for her! (Why does all vanilla erotic literature and why do all vanilla sex blogs depict the women constantly enjoying massive orgasm after orgasm, while almost all femdom literature and femdom blogs are silent on the frequent, massive orgasms we REAL dominant women enjoy??? Far better and many more than when we were vanilla.)

Obviously there are punishments or punishment ‘sessions’ of one kind or another, to ensure obedience, and almost certainly torment sessions of physical discomfort and / or humiliation for the amusement of the dominant, possibly a maid’s uniform for him, possibly cuckolding and chastity, but,

I am interested to learn, you submissive males seeking to be under the control of your very own domestic tyrant, are these images representative of what you are expecting to see for many hours each week of your submission? And would your submissive core be content?

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A link to all my publications HERE, including:

Chastity in French

I received a link recommending me to a Mistress’s blog in the French language and a post regarding enforced chastity.

A benefit of being a mistress-wife is one has a husband-slave; so I immediately instructed him to use Google Translate and produce and tidy up an English language version of the post. I do like the style in which it is written; so here it is, in English.

The blog in Questions is entitled : JDM.

The day my husband’s chastity level went up a notch …

I offer you a little step back in my life, because it was a key moment in our evolution, my husband and I. We talked about it recently, and it was as if two old friends were talking about exploring together in their youth. Except that in our case, the story was made at its expense and that the exploration in question will have been that of a more explicit submission on its part, which I immediately transformed into more supported domination on my part, with an irreversible ratchet effect.

This evocation had the effect of reminding me of what had happened, what had been said. I remembered for a long time the words exchanged in detail, and then it had sunk a little into the great number of my memories on this theme. But it all came back almost instantly, and I realized the same was true for him. We could have replayed it, so to speak 🙂 It means one thing: this moment, for him as for me, will have been a turning point. To the physical dimension, sex and the chastity cage, was added an intense psychological dimension. It would therefore be a shame not to tell you about it, it may inspire some sisters.

At the time, we had a rather imperfect chastity cage. Too closed, too large, too primary ring. We had made extra holes with the drill! And laid out the ring with resin. This is the Casto session, one of my specialties. I still have this cage, I’m going to dig it up to take a picture of it, just for fun. But I’ll put it at the end, it’s not very nice … In the article, I prefer to illustrate with personal photos of the key carried, since we are talking about chastity.

So back then, I used to cage my husband from Monday to Friday. Release on Saturday morning, if he had been obedient, or a little later to frustrate him, but never beyond Sunday noon.

That week, he was still in a cage on Sunday morning, around 10 a.m., and began to wait seriously for the end of the ordeal. Without having specially prepared my shot (for once!) And as I found him a little confident of him and of the near release, I said to him while putting on makeup in front of a mirror in the living room: “I am sure that at the bottom of you would like to stay in a cage longer ”.

There is like a blank, a kind of swallowing, and a whisper… “well no, I would like you to free me…” (I would point out that at that time my husband was fucking me, which is now totally excluded). I continue, while putting on makeup: “Yes, I will clarify: you would like me to release you, but deep down, you would like me to FORCE YOU to stay in a chastity cage”

I hear him stammering that no, he doesn’t see why. I explain to him that his body, which wants to enjoy, which is legitimate, wants liberation, but that psychologically, his brain is certainly dreaming, secretly, that I force him to go through and force him to go on Monday without liberation ”.

As he continued to denigrate (although more and more softly …), I turned to him by asking him a simpler question: “if you consider the fact that I could impose it on you, since I have the only key , you find it exciting, you can’t deny it! ”

He replies that yes, it is true, and especially since he is already in a cage and it is cruel. Very good, good answer. Second question: “And what turns you on, you necessarily like it, right?

Yes, of course, he said. “So the prospect of me imposing this cruel exercise on you excites and pleases you, which means that you secretly dream about it without daring to admit it to me.” When he admitted that it was true, he lost an important first run. He could never go up the slope, especially with what will follow.

But already at this stage, at the time of release, with more than 3/4 of a day to enjoy his sex before being put back in a cage, no key, no hold on me, evoking his excitement, c ‘was coming to throw myself into my net without being able to resist the rest. It was cruel of me, but I love to indulge in this cruelty so much. So I tightened the net…. “So say it, in full, looking me in the eye!” “.

He did not immediately formulate it completely and I had to do it over several times, adding what was missing, but finally, facing me doing my hair and tying my hair, eyes in the eyes. eyes, he complied:

“Yes my dear, I wish you could keep me in a cage longer, without freeing me, even though I want to be able to cum. I would like you to impose it on me.” At this point, as if I was hesitating … I asked him to come up with 5 arguments for me, 5 good reasons, 5 convincing advantages, so that I would agree to impose a much longer duration on him. And that he would tell me that in the early afternoon, while reminding me of what he had just confessed to me.

I have already written an article on this idea of ​​making the companion ask for these own tortures (“the paradoxical management of the submissive”, from memory). You will have noticed that I have introduced the term “sharply” at this point, and let it marinate with it all looping through the brain. It’s a phase of accepting the domination of the other that’s important, I think, and you have to allow time. Like when you marinate game before cooking it: it has to work, the resistance must soften.

At around 3 p.m., seeing that I was not taking care of him, he came to me to talk to me on his own. A very good point. He reiterated the sentence above to me, and he listed the 5 arguments for me. I remember it well enough:

“You have to keep me in a cage longer …

– because you want to control me and it’s a form of control

– because it will make me more attentive

– because it prevents me from masturbating

– because you like to carry the key with you

– because it accentuates our D / s relationship ”

It was okay, but I wanted to win a second round, and an idea came to me at that point, which I hadn’t had. I asked him to rephrase without using neutral forms, and with him as the subject. We had to explain, but we had time… I had put him in front of me, 10 cm lower than me, with very high heels, a tight outfit and the key securely in place. After a while it was better, like:

“I think you should put the cage on me longer and not release me because if you release me:

– I would no longer be under your control in the same way

– I risk turning away from you

– I risk masturbating

– so that you can keep the key

– so that our D / s relationship continues to progress ”

It might sound a bit the same, but it actually isn’t, especially eye-to-eye. You certainly understand that said like that, it becomes impossible for me to release him. He feels it, and he’s lost this round.

And why not push it in a little more. I decide to focus on the 3rd point and ask him: if you feel that we are not going to have sex right away, are you likely to masturbate, or is it likely that you will masturbate? Or even certain?

It was hard, but he admitted that depending on the time, it was probable or certain… So he had to formulate correctly, eye to eye and hands behind his back “if you release me, it is very probable even certain that I will masturbate ”

So I told him that I was going to keep him in a cage, and that for it to be a real chastity session, I was going to order a tighter, smaller cage, and that I was going to focus on locking it down. and audits.

In the morning, he was sure to be released, and a few hours later, he asked me to keep him longer, and especially not to release him because he would go straight to masturbate, knowing that this is one of the things that angry the most.

He was in the cage for 4.5 weeks, whereas so far he had not exceeded 7 or 8 days. It was cruel to him, but there had also been sincerity. And so as I indicated in the title, this was the time when we made a big step forward in the use of the chastity cage, and consequently in other aspects.

Looking back, he told me that the most terrible thing for him had been that it had been demonstrated that durations of several weeks, even several months, were perfectly possible, and that I would have no restraint in imposing them if necessary, including repeatedly.

A bit long article, but I wanted to detail the mental journey, which is always done in two