Tag Archives: HNT

How heartless I can be

Regarding my request to hear about followers’ favourite entries from my published journals, Mistress Jane’s slave submitted the comment below. I thought the comment might be of interest given mention of his experience of me and also of interest might be the mention of a 20%  discount at the moment from Lulu.com for my journals in ePub or paperback format.

Dear Mistress Scarlet,

This slave has so many to chose from. The few that spring to mind at the moment are the entries describing the first time bb is revealed to Your sisters and Mother. The line crossed here almost made me doubt it happened at first, but this was way before i had the honour of serving You alongside my Mistress and that experience left me in absolutely no doubt of what You are capable of. Other entries include reading about my Mistress with bb and playtoy, it is kind of a relief that i was not the one suffering during those torments, and of course those entries describing Your trip to London to visit my Mistress! which i still cringe at, thinking about the humiliation i was forced to endure.

Would this slave be allowed to post the discount code ‘JANSAVE20’ available for a limited time to save 20% off all lulu.com downloads? ; )

Kind regards,


Use him for everything

With the text in italics below,  I have updated my page entitled ‘Ladies Adopt the Lifestyle’, in the section of that page headed  – I WANT A HUSBAND, NOT A DOORMAT! I thought it might be of interest, hence this post.

Before you read that though, I reproduce relevant text from an earlier post:

bitch-boy, as I have stated many times, is highly intelligent, cultured, well read and well travelled. So I want his vanilla company when indulging in my non-DS pleasures – fine dining, travel, cinema, etc. His intelligent conversation and comment enhances my pleasure. This means bitch-boy (and most other lifestyle slaves avoid true 24/7/365). Something I am always keenly aware of is that bitch-boy’s life would be 24/7/365, just like Candy Floss, were I to cease enjoying his vanilla company, or replace his vanilla company with the vanilla company of someone else. It would be just as extreme because there would be no reason for it not to be. Knowing that I have this capability within me, is always food for thought.



Several times I have posted on women’s blogs who are playing at domination or chastity control and, in response to a question they pose,  I have set out a view of taking the steps required to move from a game to real domination. I often receive the response – I want a husband, not a doormat.

If only these women understood that a man dominated, punished and humiliated at home (or at selected friends’ homes) can still be your knight in shining armour when the need arises. My bitch-boy happens to be the most intelligent and courageous person I have ever met. Should we find ourselves in a dodgy part of a city at night, for instance, there is no one I would feel more secure with. If I have a tedious problem to resolve, he takes on anyone or any organisation on my behalf, with assertiveness and solutions to problems.

So I say to these women that play games. You can have your cake and eat it.

I am often asked by Dommes wanting to go for the full lifestyle, whether that means they must miss out on the companionship of their sub. I always respond by explaining how I carry on enjoying bitch-boy’s vanilla companionship WHEN I CHOOSE. I explain that there are times when I don’t do anything other than “hang out” with my sub. For example, sometimes, I get home from work and tell him that I can do whatever I want with him because I own him and tonight I am going to use him for his vanilla company. Its that simple for me. The same for family or work functions. bitch-boy is very intelligent and cultured so when watching a film or eating out at a very good restaurant, I want his vanilla company – his interesting and wise thoughts on what we are experiencing. Also, I like comedy – stand-up comedy and some TV series. Who wants to laugh alone?? So I will use bitch-boy for his vanilla company during comedy entertainment.
If we eat at a hotel with a top restaurant, I will tie him up and gag him on the bed at say, 6:00pm. I will give him a harsh dose of dickie-discipline. I will orgasm. Then I will release him and I tell him I now want his vanilla company while we eat the meal. bitch-boy understands that he is mine to use in any way I wish 24/7/365 and he understands that use includes that I will use him for his vanilla company at my whim.

Time-lock box use

I received this comment on Fetlife. I thought his use of a Time-lock box (mentioned at the end of his comment) was very amusing!

Just to say, found you blog online the other day, loved it. I’m now working my way through your kindle books. I think they are great, even if some things scare me; nettles especially, canes, sitting on Coir matting and the funnel gags to say the very least.

I have to say, reading you blog and books have helped me to think more about my submissive side. I’ve always thought of myself as more of a switch but after reading your book I see a lot of things that I have in common with bitch boy. I really connected when you mentioned how he made sure you were nice and warm in the pub and how he makes you the centre of his world. I realised that I have always been like that, but just thought of myself as being polite.

But actually thinking about it, in past relationships I have always enjoyed making their last easier, whether it was ironing my girlfriend’s clothes for her when she was at work, cleaning her flat, wanting to satisfy her first, making her breakfast in bed. I thought this was just how you should behave to the one you love, however, now I realise I was just expressing my submissiveness.

Just like to thank you for taking the time to write your blog and create your kindle books (far too distracting when I’m meant to be studying – I actually ordered one of those Timelock safes to put my tablet in the other day because of your books!!).

Day to day regime

I received some interesting feedback on Volume 10 of my journals. The commenter was very generous with his appreciation of the journal but also said that the journal entries are all about the more extreme days and weekends in my life. Which is true because I thought that is what my loyal followers wanted. However he said he would also like to know about the days that are not extreme. The days when I go off to work and bitch-boy works at home. What routines are followed and what rules are in force? So, I will include a full entry on this in Journal 11.

Since receiving this comment, I have been jotting down a list of what I will need to include, I have been amazed at how long the list is becoming. It includes:
The 24/7 chastity, Shoe worship while I put on my make-up before leaving for work, Kissing my shoes before I walk out of the front door when he receives his chores list for the day, Making my lunch, Cleaning my shoes/boots for that day, Making sure my toilet paper is written on, The replenishing regime, The tidying-up-after regime, Shaving my legs, pits and cunt, Morning T&D – me in my 6 inch heeled mules and see-thru dressing gown, His gardening/ yard work to my requirements, Housework / laundry, My spitting in his beverages and drinks morning and evening, Him licking the dripping sweat from my flat stomach after I exercise in the morning, Him kissing my shoes/boots when I get home from work, My orgasms from his tongue some mornings/evenings. Canings for punishment, Deterrent canings, Pedicures, Washing my hair, Dealing with all the utility companies, the banking and spam and junk mail, Preparing/serving evening meals, Wearing a padlocked on rubber collar if he has no business meetings, (It’s rubber so he can shower in it).

I was a bit amazed at the length of the list of things I was not really counting as being in a ‘DS session’.

Obviously in my Journal I will provide all the fine detail.

No Rights for Submissives?

I have been thinking about writing this blog post for a long time. But the concepts to be communicated are so difficult to set out elegantly that I have been procrastinating. However, today I have decided to have a go.

Of course a submissive like bitch-boy has no rights under my roof. My domestic tyranny holds sway in all things. What this post is about is the concept of true submissives having the right not to be discriminated against because of their sexuality – in the same way gay and lesbian people have that right – at least in countries where the politicians have the required levels of intelligence and wisdom to be working at creating a civilised society. I hope my gay and lesbian friends are not offended, but if I look back 50 years ago in the UK, it was unlawful for gay men to have sex. It was an illegal act which could result in a prison term, and often did. And gay men were discriminated against in the workplace and elsewhere. But gay men do not choose to be gay and the evidence is becoming overwhelming that being gay is substantially genetic. As I understand it, gay men usually know they are gay before adolescence.

Well, I have so many times, come across submissives, like bitch-boy, who knew they were submissive well before adolescence. Usually between the ages of 6 and 11. I would bet my favourite cane that being submissive is also substantially genetic. I wonder if I would be making an accurate prediction by saying that in perhaps, 25 years, being submissive will be treated like being gay and not incur discrimination in civilised countries? At the moment, in most countries, when a submissive is physically disciplined by a dominant, that dominant is committing the offense of assault. But this discipline is part of the sex-life the submissive needs and wants. It is a facet of their sexuality.

Then there is the added complication of consent. I just laugh when I see the old mantra for BDSM play of ‘Sane, Safe and Consensual’. I have set out my views, supported overwhelmingly by submissives who leave comments, that a true submissive does not want to consent to what happens to them when being dominated. If they consent, they are in charge and are therefore not content. So it all gets quite tricky. I can imagine a standard contract, accepted by society, that might be signed before a submissive and dominant embark on a relationship where the sub consents to enduring whatever the dominant wants to do, forever more. (I guess there should be some hard limits included in the terms and conditions. And if the hard limits were too fettering for the Dominant, then the Dominant would have to find another sub.)

At the moment just about all people in a Dom/Sub relationship have to keep the nature of their lifestyle very secret from vanilla people and from society. They could be sentenced in a criminal court, sacked from their jobs, refused access to hotels or restaurants or shops, etc, were their secret to come out. Just how it was for gay men 50 years ago.

Is there any organisation which is pushing for the rights for submissives? I am not sure there is.

Serious fear and helplessness creates the contentment

Given the comments I received on my last blog post, particularly from DarkHorseSub which were very helpful, I will make sure that anything I submit as a comment but which I wish to share with the world, I will also make a blog post. Below is the first.

I was asked to point a sub’s wife to some useful Femdom advice literature on a specific topic. I responded.

I am afraid I know of no written works which appropriately and accurately set out the needs of the deeply sexually submissive. Were I to have a conversation with your wife, I would say this.

‘If you love your submissive and you wish to be kind to your submissive and have him/her sleep the most sound and contented sleep they can every know, then the saying -‘you have to be cruel to be kind’, is the mantra by which you must live. The deeply submissive is a paradox. They need to feel helplessly in the control of another. That entails feeling that they are treated unfairly when it comes to things like allocations of chores and leisure time. It means they have to be genuinely very fearful and frightened of the punishments that are given in response to infractions. It also means they have to be subjected to pain and humiliation that they do not enjoy. It is only when they are genuinely fearful of punishment for infractions and when they suffer pain and humiliation and unfairness they genuinely would rather not experience, that they feely truly controlled and in the helpless power of another. And without feeling truly controlled and in the helpless power of another, they can NEVER be wholly content with their lives. So real love and kindness for a true submissive does not mean going easy on them in any way, or being fair with them – that causes discontent and unhappiness and is not being kind.

A subsequent comment was received.

Dear Mistress Scarlett. That response is truly awesome. Thank You so much. This one was never a deep sleeper until Mistress had me sleeping in shackles, at my instigation. So Mistress understands this aspect. This boy spends the day doing house work in collars when possible and is used by his owner for personal care. Punishment and discipline are rare however because, as previously stated, Mistress worries about hurting me. So yes, your response has hit (lol) the nail on the head so to speak. This boy is therefore not fearful. But desires to be. Most of the submission is self derived so at times this boy becomes extremely agitated. Your control and understanding of You pet is remarkable and i am so pleased for You that You have this. Again, thank You so much for Your response. Bowing deeply before You.

A final comment was received.

Dear Mistress Scarlet. This boy would like to relate to You what has happened subsequent to his discussing with my Mistress Wife Your text as shown above. Mistress stated that She was not interested in humiliation and then I guess reflected for a few days on O/our discussion. Yesterday Mistress turned to this boy and stated…. I own You, you are to respond to my instructions immediately as you are My personal property. Mistress then instructed boy to disrobe and bend over the bench. Mistress then proceeded to beat this boys backside. Mistress was hard and unrelenting. All subsequent commands have been absolute and have required instant responses. Various parts of boys body are currently either sore or tender.
Thank You so much for Your advice and guidance. This boy now understands that its life is now totally within the wants and needs of its Owner and it looks forward to servitude.

A submissive sleeps well!

During an exchange between us, a commenter, punkahwallah, made the following comment:

I have often mused on how it might be possible actually to humiliate someone who enjoys being humiliated. I think you have nailed it!

I was dealing with an issue that is conceptually tough to grasp which is not surprising because, on the face of it, it is a considerable paradox. I am probably foolish and arrogant to say that my years of experience have given me a clear insight into the mind of a truly sexually submissive person, but here we go!

Here is my comment to which punkahwallah referred when he said I have nailed it.

………. To be clear, he does not enjoy my more regular treatment of him. [I would say he enjoys no more than 5%, measured in duration, of my treatment of him!]

How it works is that he is submissive to his core (as is my submissive female Play-toy). When someone is submissive to their core, they need to feel powerless and controlled by another person. The best way to prove to a submissive that they are TRULY being controlled by another person is to subject them to things they really, really do not like. So, when a day of enduring what he or she did not like for most of the day, is finally at an end, the submissive sleeps the most sound and contented sleep in the certain knowledge that they are under the strict, merciless control of someone else. It is a considerable paradox because anxiety over what they will be subjected to the next day, is likely to make them sleep even more soundly!

Sometimes submissives do get aroused when they are enduring something they hate because they get that feeling of being helplessly in the control of another. It is a paradox, but I hope I have explained it.

Give you something to cry about!

I read this tiny snippet the other day in an otherwise mundane piece. But this snippet really hit the spot! A DFT Domme was explaining one facet of her punishment regime. (DFT – see 26 July blog post).

At times, I choose that my husband has to be silent during a punishment. I instruct him to be so. I then make sure he fails to be quiet. It is such a pleasure to then use the phrase: – ‘I told you to be quiet or I’d give you something to cry about. Well, you failed to be quiet, so now I will give you something to cry about, you pathetic little girl.‘ The punishment then continues to an extended level and he is free to make as much noise, and to cry as much, as he likes!