Tag Archives: punishment

Maximise the extreme

We all have different versions of extreme. When it comes to being extreme I am not near some of the activities of the fabulous Dommes who place comments on this blog, (Although others think I am very extreme.)

The comment from the wonderful Domme, Chris M, on my recent blog post about, eye to eye contact while increasing the pain, got me thinking.  Her activity involved eye to eye contact BEFORE the ‘fun’ but still worked because the ‘fun’ was so EXTREME.

That got me thinking about how, if one is planning something seriously extreme with one’s sub, it should be milked for al its worth. I plan to do so in three ways:

  • The eye to eye preamble eliciting heartfelt pleading,
  • doing the ‘thing’,  and
  • having a loud orgasm while the suffering is ongoing.

The activity that is about to happen has to be extreme enough that your sub will be beside himself with fear. If it is not that extreme, my strategy will fail. The example from Chris M is perfect – a thorough coating of Linnex to his birth defect. I have thought of two others I would use.

  • A second nettle whipping to his birth defect when he has only just received a long and terrible nettle thrashing to it. But the second will be exclusively to the head of the birth defect.
  • A continuation of a SERIOUS deterrent punishment when he has been pleading with all his heart for some time and I pause; and he thinks it is all over.

For any of these three things, there is pleasure in simply doing each one. But there is the extra pleasure of listening to that heartfelt, emotional, hopeless pleading for a while before doing the ‘thing’. And there is having an orgasm once the suffering has truly kicked in; just to show what a depraved bitch one is. And show how his extreme suffering is not an impediment in any way to one’s very relaxed pleasure.

So before beginning the application of the Linnex, or the second nettle whipping or the resumption of the thrashing, comes the eye to eye talking. Explaining in great DETAIL what one is about to do, confirming the agony that he will be feeling; then listening to that delicious pleading; and eye to eye contact is maintained throughout. When this phase has been milked for all its worth, then do the ‘thing’.

Thing done and the sub in proper agony, a leisurely session of masturbation which even if he can’t see, he can hear when the cries of ecstasy fill the room.

Two added steps to the terrible thing. Both providing clear evidence of the nature of the relationship.

When it is all over and the sub’s head hits the pillow that night, he will think back to those eye to eye moments and the rest, and he will sleep the contented sleep of a truly dominated sub who is under the TOTAL power of a very cruel bitch!

Eye to Eye Tormenting

There is a phenomenon that is  very intense for both parties involved but I know of only a limited number of activities when one can indulge. This is when the Domme can be looking into the eyes of a sub, who is looking back at her, at the exact moments of regulating or increasing a torment. Such activities require that the Domme does not need to look away for even a second,  while she is regulating or increasing the intensity of the torment.

Nipple Pinching is one such activity. Not using clamps, but actually one’s fingers and thumbs.

Increasing the electrical power of a Tens Unit is another. But to be honest, even moving the dial around very slowly, it is only a second or two between, uncomfortable, and, the sub thrashing around in the their bonds and not being able to hold eye contact.

A new activity I have been enjoying experimenting with, on a bound bitch-boy, is pushing a dildo down his throat, past the gag reflex point. Doing so as I look into his pleading, distress filled eyes. SO HOT! …….. Much to his immense shame and extreme discomfort,  I am training him to be able to deep-throat a long, thrusting cock like a well practised whore. A couple of entries in my imminent new journal, recount sessions of his early training in very fine detail, including; an appropriate whore-money-maker outfit and an hour of forced video watching, while bound, of a video compilation of deep throating. Then comes the practical lesson!

Face slapping can just about work as an activity for engaging the phenomenon but I can think of no other physical activities.

So I ask dear blog reader, do you know of any other activities that engage the phenomenon of  the Domme looking into the eyes of the sub, who is looking back at her, at the exact moments of regulating or increasing a torment?

There are activities of humiliation  that can engage the phenomenon, but perhaps not quite so intensely as when physical pain/discomfort is involved. Although quite a rare event, one can lock eyes with the sub while  the Domme is speaking on the phone to a new partner Domme and arranging the new partner Domme’s first visit to one’s house. Eyes still locked with bitch-boy, as I describe to the impending visitor, the parody of a little girl outfit bitch-boy will be made to wear and the little girl activities he will be made to perform during her visit.

More common an occurrence can be a question and answer session designed to humiliate. I once had an amazing Domme visit my home and bitch-boy was indeed dying with shame as he had been made to wear a parody of a little girl outfit and his dollies were nearby. His shame reached staggering levels as she locked eyes with him and then engaged in a question and answer session. (And, oh my, her demeanour and her eyes could not have been more disdainful, cruel and mocking.) I had made clear to bitch-boy that even the slightest failure to engage fully would result in a phenomenal and immediate thrashing!

Asked with long pauses between each question, to milk every last drop of his shame from it, moving onto the next question.

Which is your favourite dolly? ………………………What’s her name? ……………………………..Why is she your favourite dolly, you little maggot? ………………………………………..What little games do you play with her. ……………………………Do you love her with all your heart? ………………………Ask her if she loves you with all her heart. And on and on and on went the questions. Poor bitch-boy was shattered by the end and his shame was so intense as he had been having to look into her disdainful, cruel and mocking eyes the whole time.

Having to do nursery rhymes with actions can also work with eyes locked.

Returning to the phenomenon in question, there is also the degradation activity when one can lock eyes, while the sub has to drink urine from source.

Finally, I can ask my girlfriend to stand behind my sub and apply cane or whip strokes to his butt, while I look into his eyes. But to engage the phenomenon each stroke must be individually requested. I can look into bitch-boy’s eyes and say, ‘The first stroke please Nicola‘. Thwack! ‘Another‘. Thwack. ‘Another.‘ Thwack! This just about engages the phenomenon but it is not quite the same as when one is physically regulating or increasing the intensity one’s self.

I’m afraid I have rambled rather. Just to be clear, I will repeat, I am requesting dear blog reader; do you know of any other activities that engage the phenomenon of  the Domme looking into the eyes of the sub, who is looking back at her, at the exact moments of regulating or increasing a torment?

Plenty of submissives?

I read a post on Facebook from a very good lifestyle Mistress but it did not sit well with me.

It seemed she had made an offer to the submissive males, all we such women are contacted by, who contact us to plead to serve us in ANY way and wish to suffer the most amazing things. Her offer was that they could be domestic cleaners for her and mostly her friends. Only one male took up the offer and succeeded for, I think, three months. I got the impression there was no coercion involved, and no punishment for inadequate performance. The offer was basically to be a cleaner.

The lifestyle Mistress took from this test of the males that there are not, as I and others often claim, many, many more submissive males than dominant females. And in fact, it is the other way around. I gave this some thought and I had to reject her conclusion.

I believe that submissives, to gain contentment, must feel that they are helplessly in the control of another and enduring things they do not really like. I think in her test, the males could volunteer of their own freewill, leave the test anytime of their own freewill and were free to clean to a standard they themselves felt to be adequate.

So, despite doing something tedious, I could not see that the submissives would ever feel that they are helplessly in the control of another, and enduring things they do not really like at all  – BECAUSE OF THAT HELPLESSNESS.

So on reflection, although this is one very fine lifestyle Mistress, I have to reject her test as a valid way to establish the ratio of submissive men to dominant women.

I imagine if say, the work was inspected on a random basis and punishment for imperfection was meted out, linked with a promise of more substantial slavery in the future, then she may have had more volunteers.

I also imagine if say, blackmail material was required of the subs and once engaged in the role they could NEVER leave that role unless the mistress agreed they could leave it, then she may have had more volunteers. Volunteers who would have felt helplessly in the control of another and probably regretted what they had wished for!

I must point out of course that blackmail is a criminal offense and I do not condone it. 🙂

And then there is the very large number of well paid and busy professional dominatrix. A very considerable client base who are unable to find a dominant woman of their own.


For info on my BDSM manual, click on an image below.


My BDSMLR site

My new BDSMLR site that replaced my Tumblr site already has 1600 followers. I imagine so far BDSMLR has far fewer users than Tumblr.

My Tumblr site had over 18,000 flowers before Tumblr was sold and ‘explicit’ images were banned. I always took from the number of followers an indication that there were/are many people who share my tastes in female dominance. Particularly things not in the Femdom mainstream industry, like; #males distressed by petticoating humiliation, #males undergoing hours of tedium, #males being humiliated and ignored, #wives, girlfriends and or mothers-in-law dressed in everyday clothes humiliating a male who is naked, or is a sissy maid or school-girl, #the use and abuse of males in everyday homes, #’lesbian’ wives with their girlfriends cuckolding their chastised husbands .

So where possible, I do not post images in dungeons or where women are in corsets, leather or PVC. Some examples:





















When I imply ‘I post’, that is not actually the case. bitch-boy is given a number by me, of posts to make each week, sometimes high, sometimes low. And these posts must all be images I LIKE VERY MUCH. If I do not like one, or I am inadequately titillated by one, he is, of course, punished. And given his state of sexual denial and his inescapable chastity cage, I am sure the poor thing finds this task quite a trial!

There are no posts of lesbian domination. As much as I adore a pic of a helplessly bound and very vulnerable female submissive, I feel such imagery is not suitable for male submissives to be pointed toward.


Use equipment?

I do wonder about whether dominant women who do not use much BDSM equipment are missing out.

I know there are considerable barriers to equipment use for some people, such as purchase cost, discrete storage space, setting up time, etc, but I am interested in what other Dommes enjoy.

Considering a simple spanking or caning. I know some women use no bondage at all on the their sub for this. I absolutely get the power rush that probably comes from knowing they have so much power that the male obediently stays still and in position, and stays relatively quiet without a gag, both despite the ‘discomfort’ they may be enduirng.

But for me, having bitch-boy gagged and secured face down over the dining table, ankles secured together, thighs secured together just above the knees and wrists secured together behind his back, gives me a HUGE sense of power and decadence. It enhances the experience for me.

Then we come to bondage. Some of my bondage activities require a lot of paraphernalia. When I play with his boy’s bits while I watch TV. He has his ankles bound, thighs bound, balls bound, wears a collar, there is a chain running down his spine from his collar to the binding of his balls, his wrists are in cuffs behind his back which are secured to the chain, he is blindfolded, and wears industrial ear protectors! This bondage will last between 60 and 90 minutes and I will usually have 4 orgasms during this time, (see previous post!). For me the bondage effort is well worth it!

Just the feeling I get from my power, seeing his utter helplessness, sensory deprivation and his vulnerability is pretty much a turn on enough for me needing my first orgasm!

I don’t know if other Dommes do as I do with regards to ‘delegating’ equipment responsibilities? I will tell bitch-boy I want to play with his boy’s bits and he is then instructed to, ‘get everything ready!‘ While he does so, I read or watch TV.

It is the same with his sensory deprivation on the BDSM bed, or him enduring Dolly-Potty-Time or any other activity I enjoy that requires equipment. He has to get the equipment together and put it out helpfully and then put it all away afterwards. So even with the considerable number of items for playing with his boy’s bits, I am only ‘troubled’ with dealing with the equipment for a couple of minutes to secure him and then a couple to release him at the end.


Suzette Faggott letters published!

Follow THIS LINK for the historic letters about Suzette Faggott. Ms GP was quite some lifestyle Mistress!

The page is found by clicking on the tab at the top of the home page entitled Dommes’ Letters which brings up a drop-down menu.

bitch-boy had to put a lot of grunt work in just to get them to this level of organisation. I could not spare any more of his time to go further.

Should anyone have any of the missing letters, please contact me with a comment so I can add to this archive.



Punishment that was happening anyway

It is only a little tactic but it can increase the subjugation of your submissive for virtually zero effort.

Convert something bad that you were going to do anyway just for fun, into a punishment.

I might have already planned that, at the end of the day, I would be bringing off bitch-boy under the sole of my shoe, instead of by any more enjoyable method for him. At some point earlier in the day, like yesterday, he commits a very minor infringement. (He forgot to lay out one of the three straps I use to bind him for punishment over the dining table). My response,

‘Well I was going to give you a special orgasm with my expert hands at the end of today, but for that infringement, it’s only going to be under the sole of my shoe.’  He now links his error with punishment, so he will try harder next time,  and also he thinks of me as tyrannically harsh and strict. Two things it is so good for his submissive soul to think. (A submissive thinking his Mistress spots EVERY SINGLE infraction,, no matter how small, and excessively punishes every single infraction, will be a well subjugated submissive who will sleep a submissive, contented sleep).

Another example is if I am thinking of an especially cruel thing I will be doing later ‘for a change of pace’, such as applying Deep Heat to his clitty immediately after a stinging nettle whipping of it. He commits a very minor infraction earlier in the day, or better still, the day before. My response,

‘Well tomorrow, I was only going to give your birth defect a nettle whipping, but for that infraction I will now be applying Deep Heat to your birth-defect immediately after the nettle whipping.‘ Again, he now links his error with punishment, so he will try harder next time, and also he thinks of me as tyrannically harsh and strict. Yet, unbeknown to him, I am not going to be doing anything I was not going to do anyway!

HOWEVER, (just to complicate things), it goes without saying that while inflicting some of the nasty torments I do, or, even better, a day of two in advance of inflicting some of the nasty torments I do, I have to make clear I am doing so just because I can, and simply because I am a pitiless, sadistic bitch! Just so he is in awe of my cruelty.

So to ensure you are able to re-label some torments as punishments and some are labelled ‘just because you can’, undertake plenty of torments!


For info on my own BDSM manual, click on an image below.




Missing- some Suzette Faggott letters

This post is strictly for those who wish me to publish as many letters  as possible about the famous Suzette Faggott, (AKA Maid Milly). Letters mainly from the Madame magazines of the 1980s, 1990s and 2000s. I am in the middle of producing a post of all of them I have.

Below is a list apparently of all that were ever published. I do not know the exact dates of 4A, 30 or 31. The dates or Magazine numbers they were in would be useful.

More importantly I do not have any of those highlighted with a red font. If any blog follower has a link to any of these online, it would be good if you could point to a link where I can download them. Or if anyone has an electronic file version, copy and paste it to me in a comment on this post.

(Obviously when I refer to ‘me’, it will actually be bitch-boy doing all the grunt work!)


  1. Trapped In A Lifetime Of Servitude
    ( Unknown magazine…1980 )

2. Facsimile Of A Female Servant.
(Madame magazine Vol 7, No 1.. 1981, reprinted in Bobbie Swan’s Our Way (BSOW) Sept ’98 )

3. Changed Your Mind Mr. S.T ?
(Madame Vol 8, No 5. reprinted BSOW Oct ’98)

4. Star Of Anniversary Time
(Madame Vol 11, No 9 )

5. Bizarre Anniversary Plans
(Madame Vol 13, No 1, reprinted BSOW Nov ’98)

6. A Faggott Update
(Madame Vol 13, No 2 )

7. Further Experiences Of A She-Male Maid
(Madame Vol 13, No 11)

8. More News Of Faggott
(Madame Vol 14, No 1, reprinted BSOW Dec ’98)

9. A Long Suffering Male Maid
(Madame Vol 15, No 6, reprinted BSOW Jan ’99)

10. Fem / Dom In The USA (A RIVAL TO FAGGOT) (Madame Vol 16, No 8)

11. Happy With The Results Of My Manipulative Training
(Madame Vol19, No 4, reprinted BSOW Feb ’99)

12. Carrot And Stick
(Madame Vol 21, No 10, reprinted BSOW Mar “99)

13. Life In Service Of A Male Maid
(Madame Vol 23, No 12, reprinted BSOW April ’99)

14. No Sex Just Servitude To Provide Satisfaction
(Madame ? 1997)

15. Mistress Of The Month
(BSOW Sept, ’99)

16. Faggott Gets Rubber Sheets
(BSOW Sept, ’99)

17. Hotel Lunch
(BSOW Nov, ’99)

18. Faggott Is Properly Punished
(BSOW Nov, ’99)

19. Maidhood, Susette In Ontario
(BSOW Jan, 2000)

20. A Christmas Story, Part One
(BSOW Mar, 2000)

21. A Christmas Story, Part Two
(BSOW Jan, 2001)

22. A Christmas Story, Part Three
(BSOW Aug 2001)

23. Maid Specific
(BSOW Oct, 2001)

24. More About Susette Faggott
(BSOW April, 2002)

25. A Summer Story, Part One
(BSOW Sept, 2002)

26. A Summer Story, Part Two
(BSOW Nov, 2002)

27. A Summer Story, Part Three
(BSOW Aug, 2003)

28. Dyeing To Please
(BSOW Oct, 2003)

29. Faggott’s Christmas Present
(BSOW ??)

30. NO DATE: Born or Made

31. NO DATE: Faggott and Brad