Should I ever issue a second edition of my BDSM manual I worry this would be somewhat unfair to those who obtained a 1st edition.
Below is the first issue I would add if I ever publish a 2nd edition. I provide it here for those who already have the first edition.
This would be added at the end of the section entitled DS Mechanisms during Vanilla Time and a reference made to it in the section entitled, (page 37 if you own a hardcopy), and a reference made to it (on page 67 if you own a hardcopy), at end of the section headed Subjugation.
As a result of exchanges with submissives on my blog in 2018 it has become clear to me that issuing curt instructions to them affects them so much more than I imagined. Issuing curt instructions:
- is free,
- takes no equipment,
- takes LESS time than not doing it,
- can bring more pleasure to the dominant,
- can cause the submissive to be more in awe of the dominant,
- can introduce DS into an otherwise vanilla moment,
- provides more subjugation and submissive contentment to the submissive,
- is FANTASTIC to bolster DS emotions for both parties during vanilla time.A search of my blog with the word, ‘curt’ will bring up the four or five posts published on this topic that include comments from submissives describing the deep affect on them curt instructions have.The submissive assist in the learningBUT, I know the discordance for a dominant of being told by a submissive of a shortcoming, may be too much for some dominants to bear. Which I perfectly understand. As a possible way to mitigate this and ensure there are no feelings of being topped from the bottom, I suggest the dominant sometimes purposely fails to issue a curt instruction, or says thank you on purpose. If the submissive does not point this out, suitably respectfully of course, the submissive is severely punished! So the submissive is now conscious that they are under threat and duress in this ‘assistance’ to the dominant.Top Tips
- Let us put submissive assisting in the learning of Curt Instructions to one side and look at top tips. Many of these have been collected from accounts of real life Dommes and submissives.
- The submissive must very respectfully point out if there was a suitable opportunity to give a curt instruction that was not taken or not taken to its maximum affect. They must point out if a curt instruction was issued which could have contained fewer words. They must point out if an unnecessary thank you was given.
- A curt instruction is an instruction given with no politeness, no please, (no thank you afterwards), and the minimal number of words possible. It is a very disrespectful, arrogant and condescending manner of behaviour. Various dominants use different styles to achieve this. Practice is probably required if the dominant, like me, was brought up to be polite! One option to speed up the learning is to ask the submissive to assist. Not an option to everyone’s tastes though!
- Given these attributes, it would be wrong not to include full and comprehensive details.
- Instead of “get me a cup of tea”, simply say “tea.”
- Instead of “get me my yoga bag,” she would say “yoga bag” and possibly point to where it should be put.
- Instead of “get me my cell phone”, just “cell phone.” and point to one’s feet, if it should be brought to the dominant, or perhaps point to a table if that’s where the cell phone should be put.
So dominant, if you fail to take every opportunity to issue a curt command, instead of a polite request, you are failing to take an opportunity to deepen the submissive’s subjugation to you, denying your submissive food for their soul and missing out on a lovely power rush feeling for you.
Feedback from submissives.
i have been subject to curt instructions and as you say, “thank you” is not a part of that…a more appropriate reply after he’s obeyed an order might be…”return to your duties” or “get back to work” or “fuck off out of my sight.”
Social events and family gatherings sometimes provide those brief moments of just enough discrete privacy for some subjugation. ‘White wine now.‘
Mistress – I didn’t comment on your earlier post about using curt commands but it has been a standard part of my Mistress’ approach for a long time. It absolutely changes the nature of “vanilla time” from a partial respite from kink time, to an extension of it.
[By your description of Curt Instructions], certainly Madam understands the submissive psyche in ways that few do. Your methods are awe inspiring Ms Scarlet…thank You for sharing Your lifestyle.
You are very right Mistress Scarlet. MK uses curt commands constantly during the day. “Get this.” “Put this away..” Sometimes she uses one word with a harsh voice. “Water.” MK LOVES watching me jump to her commands.
Feeding our submissive souls – curt commands, humiliations & discipline – you are so, so accurate MsScarlet!
My Mistress of days gone by issued very short and curt orders to me. ‘Down Boy’ meant get my tongue busy on her pussy, ‘knees’ meant get down fast and kneel…… Out in public she used hand signals to give the same orders as well as using curt instructions that could be overheard by nearby persons, to cause me much humiliation, and i loved her so much for it.
I like curt because it makes it so clear what I need to do to please and I don’t over-think things. Getting over my tendency to over-think things and doing a better job of responding immediately is one reason discipline is so important to me. Letting go of thinking for myself and handing over the power to a loving authority is very fulfilling. Empties my crowded brain
I believe she takes special pleasure asking me to do something when I am busy with something I am doing such as filling up the dishwasher. I have to stop immediately and do what she has commanded with a curt instruction.
Mistress enjoys handing me her handbag while we walk so her hands are free. “Take this,” she says as she shoves the bag into my arms.
You are absolutely correct, the issuing of curt instructions in a vanilla situation and leaving no one in doubt that you are to be obeyed is thrilling. Even now in the supermarkets when being asked if help is needed at the checkout, my wife will always answer,” no he will do it, he’s been trained”. Or if her mother is visiting, ask me things like, “have I ironed a particular dress or cleaned a pair of boots……………”
Who says thank you?
I mentioned that, obviously, when a curt instruction has been carried out, the dominant should not say, “thank you.” The curt instruction theme can be taken yet further though, to highlight the huge difference in status between a dominant and their submissive. This is by the submissive having to say,’thank you’, when they have completed a dominant’s curt instruction. Deliciously unfair!
There are situations where the thank you could be argued is appropriate in the strange DS world we inhabit. For example:
When I sit on the sofa and I have pointed to the floor between my splayed thighs and given the command, ‘lick’, I delight in saying, once he has knelt in position and is about to begin, ‘What do you say?’ Given the beauty of my soft skin, slim athletic thighs, flat stomach and pretty cunt, it is unsurprising he genuinely and emotionally answers, ‘Thank you Mistress.’ But the status implications of this thank you are huge. He is denied sexual relief, he is never allowed to fuck; but he is genuinely thanking me for the privilege of being allowed to lick ME to a delightful orgasm. And it will be one of many orgasms that day, despite his limited proper orgasms himself. His vanilla grasp of the concepts of fairness and grounds for gratitude driven from his mind by his submissiveness and my cruel dominance.
And there are situations where the thank you is an undiluted indication the submissive is living a life of unfairness and low comparative status. These thank you’s from the submissive indicate it is a privilege for them to be allowed to serve the dominant.
- Having set down the tea in response to the curt instruction, “tea.” the submissive must say, ‘thank you’.
- Having put the yoga bag down yoga bag in response to the curt instruction, “yoga bag” the submissive must say, ‘thank you’.
- Having handed the cell phone to the dominant in response to the curt instruction “cell phone,” the submissive must say, ‘thank you’.
Of course the submissive’s ‘thank you’ is amusing to the dominant, but is otherwise ignored.
The ‘thank you’ can be an optional extra, prompted by the dominant.
If you are at home, and the submissive forgets to say ‘thank you’ for bringing you something, then in your sweetest tone, you can say, ‘What do you say?’
Social events and family gatherings sometimes provide those brief moments of just enough discrete privacy for some curt instructions. A quietly spoken, ‘White wine now.‘ And on the submissive’s obedient return, loud enough from you for just them to hear; ‘What do you say?’ and they must whisper, ‘Thank you.’
‘Thank you’ not linked to curt instructions
For the sake of completeness, I now set out other situations where I have bitch-boy issue a thank you.
When I have finished a punishment of him. A punishment gagged and bound, bent face down over the dining table. Caned, strapped, paddled, tawsed and whipped. When I have finished, his gag is removed and, often still whimpering or sobbing, he says, as he knows he must, ‘Thank you Mistress for helping to make me a better slave.‘ He has learned to his cost that should he forget to thank me, he goes straight back over the table.
Another example is when I have him kiss my footwear. This he has to do whenever I, or we, are leaving the house, leaving a bedroom in a hotel or leaving a bedroom in which we have stayed overnight as social guests. He must kiss my footwear for as long as I talk at him about how lucky he is to have such a cruel and beautiful Mistress wife and how there are a hundred submissives begging to take his place in a moment, should I wish to replace him. I have always ended my lecture with the words, ‘You may stand.’ But recently I have followed those words with, ‘What do you say?‘ As he is rising to stand he says, with genuine feeling, ‘Thank you Mistress.’ Again, his correct grasp of the concepts of fairness and grounds for gratitude driven from his mind by his submissiveness and my cruel dominance; particularly as I may be wearing dirty snow boots or well-worn gym shoes.
My final example is a new thank you occasion and has arisen as a result my giving him spoiled orgasms under the sole of my shoe.
- I have lifted my shoe from his clitty after his horrible, disappointing, spoiled orgasm has ended,
- and his semen pools in a food container, shortly to have water added, (and or my nectar), and become an ice chink for his funnel gag,
- and I have shown off my body during the process and talked about how he will never, ever get to fuck that body,
- and I will have had between 7 and 11 massive orgasms by this point in the day,
I say, in a mocking and unkind tone, ‘What do you say?‘ He answers, ‘Thank you Mistress.’ His tone this time is not so genuine, but it is extremely poignant and sad and respectful. My question is truly powerful and affecting for him. Expecting him to thank me for inflicting such unfairness and misery. But he is deeply subjugated and would not dare do otherwise than thank me.
I get such a power rush from having just been such a cruel bitch and then asking him to thank me, and hearing his submissive, obedient, poignant and sad thank you, that I am close to requiring a supplementary orgasm for the day!
Once he has thanked me, I give him a curt instruction in a very cold voice, ‘clean everything up!’ then I walk off to sit and relax elsewhere.
For info on my own BDSM manual, click on an image below.