Tag Archives: submission

My Addendum No.1 is published in ePub format.

Addendum No.1 is now published as an eBook on LULU.com, in ePub format. My previous blog post gave full details about the book.

This is the first review: An excellent book. I am reading and loving it. You have such a unique writing style. As I read it I am transported into a submissive experience where the terrifying yet highly arousing torments are endured by me. It stirs me deeply. What a powerful array of guides and methods for any Domme and her fortunate sub. JMF

This is the second review: A highly rewarding and addictive read for anyone into this so special lifestyle from either side. For those less experienced to the experienced there is something for whatever stage their relationship is at. There is both width and depth and a high level of experience and understanding from the author. So you can go back and review if it is not quite the right time. Any Mistress wishing to deepen their Submissive’s desire to go deeper into subspace will be enthralled by new ideas that push a sub to yearn for more. Boundary breaking. Excellent from start to finish. More please. PB

Cake and eat it too!

One major hurdle for women flirting with the idea of being a Domme is often expressed with words to the effect of: ‘I want a real man, to look after me, not a weak submissive man.‘ And one major hurdle for Mistress-wives flirting with the idea of dressing their submissive as a French maid, or sissy maid, or parody of a schoolgirl, or parody of a little girl, is often expressed with words to the effect of: ‘I want to dominate a real masculine man not a weak feminine man.’

Well I implore such women to experiment and they will most often find they can have their cake and eat it too. ALL the women I have been in close exchanges with who have experimented after expressing such qualms, change their approach and never look back! By way of explanation I will give a brief insight into a day of mine a few days ago .

When bitch-boy woke me with tea in bed, I informed him that the day was to be a full-on DS day. He would repeatedly suffer considerable physical discomfort and he would suffer very considerable humiliation and tedium for a lengthy period. And he would NOT be getting to cum. The DS element of the day would probably last seven or eight hours.

Before he had got very far digesting this announcement and coming to terms with it, I asked him. ‘What do you say?’ I adore this simple verbal tweaking of his submissive soul with the injustice of him having to answer as he must. Which he did, although a little gloomily. ‘Thank you Mistress.‘ I answered in a tone of mock irritation. ‘I should think so!‘ What a lovely start to my day; and plenty for my poor puppet to think about.

However, sticking to the point of this post , I will skim over his very hash deterrent punishment, (Oh how he pleaded, and I repeatedly, verbally raised and dashed his hopes that I might end the punishment! Until finally I did). I will skim over how I played with his boy’s bits for over an hour while he was in sensory deprivation bondage and I sat next to him on the sofa and I watched a subtitled TV programme I love. (He has not cum for 9 weeks!) I will skim over his second punishment, given just because I could; and later how his stiff little defect suffered while I used my Vampire gloves. And I now get to the first relevant activity for this post.

I had him dressed in his full-on parody of a little girl outfit, (see previous post), and for half an hour he had to face me and whisper the words to the nursery rhyme, I’m a little tea-pot while performing the actions, while mainly ignored him and I enjoyed social media on my cell phone. Occasionally I would glance up at him and, using a harsh tone, briefly tell him how pathetic he was.

Then he had to colour-in with his dolly for THREE HOURS! His humiliation was very deep as was his tedium. He hated every second of that humiliation, made worse by my sporadic comments about how he was not a real man, just a pathetic sissy and a pathetic submissive put on this planet to be used and abused by women like me. I whipped and stomped on his defect on the stomping stage for half an hour and, having had 9 orgasms throughout the day, I finally decided DS time was over. (He got locked back up: He did not get to cum.)

And I now get to the second relevant activity for this post. I told him I would now be using him for his vanilla company until sleep time. He put things away and changed into his vanilla clothes. We then sat in the conservatory, discussed the news of the day, and drunk wine together. I nestled into his large barrel chest and his muscular heavy arm comfortingly draped over me. I felt utterly content, and comfortable and protected and safe. All was right and perfect in my world.

I praised and thanked him for how he had charmingly but assertively dealt with a brutish argumentative delivery driver the day before and a tradesman working on the boundary with the neighbours house on the same day. (It made me think about a holiday I am planning in a slightly dodgy third world country and how safe I will feel with the charmingly assertive, barrel chested, large shouldered bitch-boy by my side.) I slept briefly for a while with my head on his chest. (Believe me, a couple of lengthy sessions wielding punishment implements and NINE massive orgasms in a day, takes it out of girl!) I woke and, after we ate, we watched TV, with me again cuddled into him, resting my head on his chest. What a blissful day!

So ladies, experiment! Your submissive needs to suffer deep humiliation to sleep the very soundest sleep of a submissive – who truly knows he is; helplessly in the power of a cruel, pitiless, dominant woman. AND YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO!

Making Comments on this post: Comments do not appear on my blog until I have moderated them. Comments that insult anyone will not be published, nor will aggressive comments. A wide range of views is truly welcome, we all have things to learn, however comments will not be published that take a contrary or critical view to any aspect of the post, but fail to explain why this contrary view is held, or fail to address the reasoning set out in the post to which the comment relates. (Such unexplained comments are simply boring.)


A link to all my publications HERE, including:

Flattery or fantasy; from imitation?

Well I cannot deny being quite shocked by this image on BDSMLR. Shocked because it must surely be more than just a coincidence that the male in the photo wears EXACTLY the same head harness, dress and mincing ribbons as I often have bitch-boy in. The head harness also sports a pink satin bow atop, although bitch-boy’s pink satin bow is about three times the size.

Just to be clear, I don’t mean these three items are very similar, I mean they are EXACTLY THE SAME. And in the background, there is a blow-up doll which of course bitch-boy once used to have as his ONLY sex partner.

So I do wonder, what is the story? A MASSIVE, MASSIVE coincidence, or a male submissive who follows my blog and reads my journals or, fingers crossed, a Domme who follows my blog and reads my journals and has forced her little puppet into this attire. The photo is on BDSMLR here.

(For complete accuracy I must point out, I had the dress shortened for bitch-boy by one row of frill, just to make sure is was maximum humiliating!)

Making Comments on posts: Comments do not appear on my blog until I have moderated them. Comments that insult anyone will not be published, nor will aggressive comments. A wide range of views is truly welcome, we all have things to learn, however comments will not be published that take a contrary or critical view to any aspect of a post, but fail to explain why this contrary view is held, or fail to address the reasoning set out in the post to which the comment relates. (Such unexplained contrary comments are simply boring.)

DS advert for Louboutin heels

A great advert by Christian Louboutin for high heels,  (yes I have a pair). The twist at the end I saw coming but puts DS into mainstream which is always a good thing.

And on a separate note, what is it about a hand on hip, just like this, that is sooooo dominant and haughty ?????? Both to see and to do. I am theorising it firstly throws the shoulders back and chest out and chin up, and secondly indicates relaxed confidence and superiority.



My latest journal.

Volume 13: The Institute, Click on any link below:

Lulu.com –

Paperback version,       ePub version,

Amazon Kindle –

USA,    UK, 

DE,    FR,    ES,    IT,    NL,    JP,    BR,    CA,    MX,    AU,    IN, 

Nook – Barnes and Noble




Maximising the effect on the submissive

I am interested in comments from true submissives on the following: (I define true submissives as those who recognised their submissiveness before they reached puberty; before the age of say 11, and who have desired domination ever since.)

Recent experiences and some reading lead me to be convinced that the submissive’s PERCEPTION of the dominant’s cruelty is key to maximising effect. I highlight perception because it is more important than the cruelty itself. I stress cruelty is TAKING PLEASURE in inflicting discomfort. To give a real example:

On any full-on domination day, bitch-boy will find himself in total sensory deprivation bondage (TSDB) for between one hour and six hours. (Up to six hours if I have a female submissive here for using and abusing).

I could simply put him into the bondage and then eventually release him without talking about what I get out of it. The TSDB would effect his submissive soul a fair amount and he would probably make assumptions about what I get from it. But the effect can be increased 100 fold if I advise him that I adore getting on with whatever I want while he is in TSDB. That it turns me on. That I love thinking about my power and decadence and his misery during the TSDB. That I love causing him to be so miserable. Having spoken these words, he is now CRYSTAL CLEAR that I am being cruel to him during all future sessions of TSDB. (I am being a sadist.)

Even if administering a punishment, (see previous post), I now make sure I am clear on my pleasure. I am likely to use words with the effect of the following, during my leisurely, extensive punishment session:

‘Poor bitch-boy. I do enjoy causing you pain like this. I will never get bored of doing so. IT TURNS ME ON and I get a lovely power rush. Obviously even if I did not enjoy it, you would still be enduring punishment, because you committed an infraction and all infractions must be punished. But I do enjoy it, so it’s a lovely win-win. Deserved punishment for you, to deter infractions; and pleasure for me while punishing you. While hurting you. And this is your life now and forever. There is no escape. You are my puppet and I will never let you go or become less cruel.’

As I set out in my published manual, my theory is that true submissives need to feel helplessly under the power of another to sleep well and feel contented. So while a bossy, overbearing person who is a control freak may produce some submissive satisfaction, they will not produce the contentment that a bossy and CRUEL person will.  Why? My theory is that being subject to simple bossy control does not infer as much helplessness as being subjected to wanton, unnecessary physical or mental discomfort; because wanton unnecessary physical or mental discomfort infers, or even requires, even more power; even more helplessness. (Not an easy phenomenon to describe!)

I therefore suggest, if you are a dominant, you make absolutely clear the pleasure you get from each and every slice of adversity to which you subject your submissive. You can’t be shy about being cruel, about being a sadist. You must be bold about this. Make sure some adversity is simply for your pleasure and nothing more. Your submissive will be further in awe of you if you do. Your submissive will feel even more helplessly under your power.

Do true submissives agree with me?

More Pain, by Accident

There is an issue of a little complexity about dealing with pain caused to your sub by accident, or by your clumsiness while dominating.

Firstly, I believe that subs want to have the image of their Domme as living breathing perfection in every way. Therefore if you accidently hurt your sub or hurt them through your clumsiness, you are not perfect and that is a bad for your image. A good example is whip wraparound.

To give an example of whip wraparound (WW). bitch-boy is tied face down over the dining table and I am whipping him with my dressage whip which is very long and very thin. It is ‘whippy’. My intention is to land the whip evenly across both buttocks causing very significant pain. bitch-boy knows that is my intention. He knows me. However I clumsily allow the whip to overhang the target which means – after initial impact with the buttocks, the free end of the whip continues to travel at much greater speed, wraps around and strikes bitch-boy’s hip. The additional speed means the pain is agonising. (The additional speed is a matter of geometry and physics). Now, as bitch-boy knows that I did not mean that to happen, my image of control and perfection is dented. Not a good thing.

So I do try to avoid accidents and clumsiness. There is very little that is erotic about accidently poking your sub in the eye with your cane tip!

HOWEVER, these things will happen. When they do I have simple solution. I say the following to bitch-boy.

‘It is unfortunate that just happened bitch-boy. We both know that I did not intend it to. But it’s an inevitability that these things will happen from time to time isn’t it. It’s just one of those things. So it’s just something else for you to endure as my slave isn’t it. The occasional mishaps that cause you to suffer in ways I did not intend.’ He gives me a look of desolate acquiescence. He knows I am right and he knows I never feel sorry for him no matter how his suffering at my hands has been produced. He is in awe. He feels utterly helpless. His submissive core remains at peace.