Single subs making it worse

I know I am tilting at windmills here, and covering old ground. I apologise, but is there nothing that can be done about submissive males simultaneously despairing about how few dominant women there are compared to submissive men, while posting and sharing images that contribute to keeping the number of dominant women as low as it is.

Somehow the concept of Female Led Relationships, (FLR), needs to be seen as totally separate from, and completely different to, Femdom Porn. ‘Relationship’ being the key word. I will explain:

99% of vanilla women, (possibly even ‘curious’ vanilla women), do not want to wear thigh high boots, PVC or rubber, corsets, or shoes with heels more than four inches high that do not have a platform sole. These women do not want to visit a dungeon, they don’t want to use a bull-whip, they don’t want to use needles or electrics, or have a dungeon in their house. They probably don’t like the thought of their male dressed as a maid or other female character. They also do  not think women are born to rule and men are born to serve. They all know at least one woman who you would not want or trust to rule a pet hamster, let alone rule another human being; and they probably now some amazing men. They do want to know that if they did end up as the dominant partner, their male would not be weak and submissive in the vanilla times with any problems they face as a family. (I wish sub men would stop posting their memes like ‘women were born to lead, men are born to follow.’ I understand sub men truly feel this, BUT non-submissive men think its mental, as do vanilla women! It is not the case, stop writing it! I guess it would be fine to post, ‘Women are born to lead submissive males, who will worship and protect them.’)  Also, 99% of vanilla women do not look like supermodels. It does not help that so many dominatrices do.

My ranting point is that the output of the profit based femdom industry which includes dominatrices and photo and video makers, is almost all, very likely to put off vanilla women from trying dominance, even ‘curious’ ones. I do not want to criticise these industries though as they do play an important role. My criticism is how the same sub males that are despairing about how few dominant women there are, of how they can’t tempt their wife or girlfriend to try it, post and share these images and videos that put off vanilla women from having a try.

In my BDSMLR site, I do try to include many, many images of domestic FLR. I do also have a few images of dominatrices in action because I adore the featured activity in which they are partaking. But then I am not a submissive male despairing about how few dominant women there are, and my BDSMLR site is not intended to attract vanilla women to try dominance. It is simply for my pleasure. I have, with help from a few others, put together my Alternative Blog and my Manual for Beginners for the purpose of attracting vanilla women to try dominance. And produced pages on this blog as advice to sub husbands and boyfriends.

I guess I am wondering if there could be, whenever people are labelling images or videos, or writing on the internet, a clear distinction between FLR and femdom porn.

One of my favourite genres of image on BDSMLR is the ‘while doing something else’ activity. It epitomises REAL FLR. The male is at his chores, or tethered somewhere, or performing shoe worship or cunnilingus say.  And the wife/girlfriend, almost certainly dressed in vanilla-ish clothes, is watching TV, or on the phone, or reading, or sunbathing. While doing something else activity plays a big part in a FLR.  Once a vanilla woman has had a try at real domination and experiences her first REAL power-rush, things can move quickly to bullwhips and cages and all the other femdom porn paraphernalia, but we have to get them to make that first step.

I dream of there being two very distinct Femdom internet genre; Femdom porn and FLR material.

So I will now step down from my soapbox and I apologise for my rant on an unrealistic dream.

Findings – ‘Like it never happened’

Well the responses to my research post of 20 April 2021 were large in number, (thank you all), and fascinating in content; and there was a consistent experience of the phenomenon researched, by all but one of the many submissives who responded. That phenomenon is; that for 99% of submissive males, if they are denied orgasm for around three or four weeks or more, then a desperate sexual frustration builds up, THAT IS ONLY RELIEVED FOR AN HOUR OR SO AFTER AN ORGASM. THEN THE FRUSTRATION FULLY RETURNS AS THOUGH THEY NEVER HAD THAT ORGASM.

It is the words in bold that are important. This phenomenon was reported to me by my bitch-boy and it seems is just about universally experienced. This is good to know if you are a Domme, because there is a clear interconnection between a submissive’s level of desperate sexual frustration and how submissive and obedient he feels and how in awe of his Mistress he feels. Many, like bitch-boy, felt the pre-orgasm level of frustration/submissiveness return in less than an hour after orgasm, (poor puppets), if the orgasms are at least four weeks apart.

If you have not read all the comments on my post of 20 April, you may find them worth a read, both from the point of view of learning about this issue but also because there are some very cruel Mistresses, enforcing some very harsh regimes, that make for quite a hot read! Regular readers will know I made a huge step change with bitch-boy’s chastity regime on 6 June last year. Hence this issue arose. The bullet points are excerpts from some of the comments.

There is an issue regarding prostate health that each person involved must take a view on, but I again provide a link, to a post about recent prostate health research, particularly for the under 30s.

I thank you sincerely if you responded on this issue.

• According to my Mistress’ philosophy, men should be lifelong deprived of ejaculation, as that is the only way to keep them continuously on edge and totally focused on their Mistress’ desires.She says (Miss B) that the mental agony of waiting for an orgasm is more powerful when the period of abstinence is rather short, but when the chastity is extended for a lifetime, there are other ways to torture mentally the slave, bringing him fruitlessly to the edge, (depending also on his inborn fetishes) like showing herself nude or masturbating,wearing leather or lace lingerie, getting him sniff her at close distance, but without touching, rubbing his cock under the sole of her boots, etc.This year, on October 16th, will mark the 8th year of my total chastity. In a way it’d be almost better… if it weren’t for Mistress that, taking off my spiked cage for a few minutes, crushes and rubs my cock with her boots, when she feels in a playing mood…
• I really I would like to know the answer. I tend more to allow a very rare orgasm just to put him in mental agony and remind him of what he loses.
• If I make a remark [about my level of suffering] I am either ignored or get a sarcastic answer. Compassion is out
• My wife only allows one orgasm per month, but it is always ruined. Almost immediately I crave another orgasm, and for a few days afterwards I’m more desperate to cum than I was before, and can’t stop thinking about it. But that might also be because of the way she makes me cum and the ‘shame’ involved, which is very affecting at the time.
• my Wife has grown accustomed to ruining them. Right after that, i really want that second orgasm and her denying it without pity really is the key to keeping me in subspace.
• ….In effect, my chastity device became a refuge from her torture. After a couple years of this treatment, she concluded I would be happier if my penis were left alone, and she quit releasing me. I have now been continuously locked for over three years, and she has shifted her attention to torturing my testicles regularly. She has always enjoyed playing with them while she has considered penises symbols of female oppression.
• Since 2002 she has kept me locked all the time with releases about once a month if I was good up until 2019. She upgraded me to a custom fit Cherry Keeper device and extended my releases to only one every two months.

Making Comments on this post: Comments do not appear on my blog until I have moderated them. Comments that insult anyone will not be published, nor will aggressive comments. A wide range of views is truly welcome, we all have things to learn, however comments will not be published that take a contrary or critical view to any aspect of the post, but fail to explain why this contrary view is held, or fail to address the reasoning set out in the post to which the comment relates. (Such unexplained comments are simply boring.)

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For info on my BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.

Chastity in French

I received a link recommending me to a Mistress’s blog in the French language and a post regarding enforced chastity.

A benefit of being a mistress-wife is one has a husband-slave; so I immediately instructed him to use Google Translate and produce and tidy up an English language version of the post. I do like the style in which it is written; so here it is, in English.

The blog in Questions is entitled : JDM.

The day my husband’s chastity level went up a notch …

I offer you a little step back in my life, because it was a key moment in our evolution, my husband and I. We talked about it recently, and it was as if two old friends were talking about exploring together in their youth. Except that in our case, the story was made at its expense and that the exploration in question will have been that of a more explicit submission on its part, which I immediately transformed into more supported domination on my part, with an irreversible ratchet effect.

This evocation had the effect of reminding me of what had happened, what had been said. I remembered for a long time the words exchanged in detail, and then it had sunk a little into the great number of my memories on this theme. But it all came back almost instantly, and I realized the same was true for him. We could have replayed it, so to speak 🙂 It means one thing: this moment, for him as for me, will have been a turning point. To the physical dimension, sex and the chastity cage, was added an intense psychological dimension. It would therefore be a shame not to tell you about it, it may inspire some sisters.

At the time, we had a rather imperfect chastity cage. Too closed, too large, too primary ring. We had made extra holes with the drill! And laid out the ring with resin. This is the Casto session, one of my specialties. I still have this cage, I’m going to dig it up to take a picture of it, just for fun. But I’ll put it at the end, it’s not very nice … In the article, I prefer to illustrate with personal photos of the key carried, since we are talking about chastity.

So back then, I used to cage my husband from Monday to Friday. Release on Saturday morning, if he had been obedient, or a little later to frustrate him, but never beyond Sunday noon.

That week, he was still in a cage on Sunday morning, around 10 a.m., and began to wait seriously for the end of the ordeal. Without having specially prepared my shot (for once!) And as I found him a little confident of him and of the near release, I said to him while putting on makeup in front of a mirror in the living room: “I am sure that at the bottom of you would like to stay in a cage longer ”.

There is like a blank, a kind of swallowing, and a whisper… “well no, I would like you to free me…” (I would point out that at that time my husband was fucking me, which is now totally excluded). I continue, while putting on makeup: “Yes, I will clarify: you would like me to release you, but deep down, you would like me to FORCE YOU to stay in a chastity cage”

I hear him stammering that no, he doesn’t see why. I explain to him that his body, which wants to enjoy, which is legitimate, wants liberation, but that psychologically, his brain is certainly dreaming, secretly, that I force him to go through and force him to go on Monday without liberation ”.

As he continued to denigrate (although more and more softly …), I turned to him by asking him a simpler question: “if you consider the fact that I could impose it on you, since I have the only key , you find it exciting, you can’t deny it! ”

He replies that yes, it is true, and especially since he is already in a cage and it is cruel. Very good, good answer. Second question: “And what turns you on, you necessarily like it, right?

Yes, of course, he said. “So the prospect of me imposing this cruel exercise on you excites and pleases you, which means that you secretly dream about it without daring to admit it to me.” When he admitted that it was true, he lost an important first run. He could never go up the slope, especially with what will follow.

But already at this stage, at the time of release, with more than 3/4 of a day to enjoy his sex before being put back in a cage, no key, no hold on me, evoking his excitement, c ‘was coming to throw myself into my net without being able to resist the rest. It was cruel of me, but I love to indulge in this cruelty so much. So I tightened the net…. “So say it, in full, looking me in the eye!” “.

He did not immediately formulate it completely and I had to do it over several times, adding what was missing, but finally, facing me doing my hair and tying my hair, eyes in the eyes. eyes, he complied:

“Yes my dear, I wish you could keep me in a cage longer, without freeing me, even though I want to be able to cum. I would like you to impose it on me.” At this point, as if I was hesitating … I asked him to come up with 5 arguments for me, 5 good reasons, 5 convincing advantages, so that I would agree to impose a much longer duration on him. And that he would tell me that in the early afternoon, while reminding me of what he had just confessed to me.

I have already written an article on this idea of ​​making the companion ask for these own tortures (“the paradoxical management of the submissive”, from memory). You will have noticed that I have introduced the term “sharply” at this point, and let it marinate with it all looping through the brain. It’s a phase of accepting the domination of the other that’s important, I think, and you have to allow time. Like when you marinate game before cooking it: it has to work, the resistance must soften.

At around 3 p.m., seeing that I was not taking care of him, he came to me to talk to me on his own. A very good point. He reiterated the sentence above to me, and he listed the 5 arguments for me. I remember it well enough:

“You have to keep me in a cage longer …

– because you want to control me and it’s a form of control

– because it will make me more attentive

– because it prevents me from masturbating

– because you like to carry the key with you

– because it accentuates our D / s relationship ”

It was okay, but I wanted to win a second round, and an idea came to me at that point, which I hadn’t had. I asked him to rephrase without using neutral forms, and with him as the subject. We had to explain, but we had time… I had put him in front of me, 10 cm lower than me, with very high heels, a tight outfit and the key securely in place. After a while it was better, like:

“I think you should put the cage on me longer and not release me because if you release me:

– I would no longer be under your control in the same way

– I risk turning away from you

– I risk masturbating

– so that you can keep the key

– so that our D / s relationship continues to progress ”

It might sound a bit the same, but it actually isn’t, especially eye-to-eye. You certainly understand that said like that, it becomes impossible for me to release him. He feels it, and he’s lost this round.

And why not push it in a little more. I decide to focus on the 3rd point and ask him: if you feel that we are not going to have sex right away, are you likely to masturbate, or is it likely that you will masturbate? Or even certain?

It was hard, but he admitted that depending on the time, it was probable or certain… So he had to formulate correctly, eye to eye and hands behind his back “if you release me, it is very probable even certain that I will masturbate ”

So I told him that I was going to keep him in a cage, and that for it to be a real chastity session, I was going to order a tighter, smaller cage, and that I was going to focus on locking it down. and audits.

In the morning, he was sure to be released, and a few hours later, he asked me to keep him longer, and especially not to release him because he would go straight to masturbate, knowing that this is one of the things that angry the most.

He was in the cage for 4.5 weeks, whereas so far he had not exceeded 7 or 8 days. It was cruel to him, but there had also been sincerity. And so as I indicated in the title, this was the time when we made a big step forward in the use of the chastity cage, and consequently in other aspects.

Looking back, he told me that the most terrible thing for him had been that it had been demonstrated that durations of several weeks, even several months, were perfectly possible, and that I would have no restraint in imposing them if necessary, including repeatedly.

A bit long article, but I wanted to detail the mental journey, which is always done in two

When to finish a sex session??

The other evening I was enjoying a very funny female comedian’s stand up routine. One routine was both funny and for me resonated around my sexuality and relationship with bitch-boy. So probably also applicable to a number of DS couples. The comedian had mentioned she was bi-sexual and then talked about how a straight forward aspect of sex with a man was that it has a natural end point;  when he cums, often quickly arrived at!

But good sex with another woman just goes on and on unless there is a reason to stop. And it is a difficulty to stop without a reason.  This brief routine sparked so many thoughts in my head when applied to my and others’ DS lives.

How wonderful it is to be a dominant woman so sex with a male does not have a natural end point, because the male either does not cum at all, or only cums when I the Domme is ready to end the sex session. How wonderful that that phenomenon, of itself, raises arousal and orgasm intensity for the Domme.

How wonderful that I now only like mutually rewarding sex sessions with other women and I can remind bitch-boy that when I used to have mutually rewarding sex sessions with him, a very long time ago, they were sometimes over rather quickly, while my  mutually rewarding sex sessions with women go on and on and on.

And finally, loosely linked to all this, I thought about how, under my ‘new’ denial regimen for bitch-boy, during the frequent full-on DS days I enjoy, I have more orgasms during any one of those days, than bitch-boy will get in a year. Then as I pondered on that, and I realised that, more accurately, I have more orgasms during any one of those DS days, than bitch-boy will get in TWO YEARS!  I don’t know why I had not recognised the actual extent of this disparity before! I could not wait to tell him!

 

 

Unhappy Anniversary

I engaged in a delightful set of email exchanges with Christine M recently, firstly advising me it was an anniversary for her slave-husband David. It was imminently one year since his last orgasm. I will set out the exchange below.

If you have not been following the accounts of Christine regarding adopting a maid’s outfit for David and the development of her chastity release spreadsheet, I suggest you type ‘Christine’ into the search box at top right and a list of relevant posts will be presented.

Hi Scarlet

Well David has gone just over 12-months since his last release! The good news, for him, is that on Sunday 7 March, he will get to draw for a release using our new Chastity Release Spreadsheet. I detailed this in an email a few months ago. Sadly, from his perspective, this allows for an absolute maximum of two releases in the year, and even if the spreadsheet selects a release, it can still be ‘lost’ if he should misbehave!

I have never seen him so desperate to come. He is permanently on edge and I am so enjoying teasing him relentlessly. Given there are only two releases possible each year, he is being positively over-optimistic. He seriously talks as though he will get a release in March! I think he believes I am going to show compassion for the fact that he has been so long without a release, and ‘fix-it’ so he gets one in March. His hopes are totally misplaced, I am as dispassionate as the computer is about his ‘plight’! The soulless, machine-driven, random computer spreadsheet algorithm will be the sole determinant as to when he will get a release.

Poor dear, given I am working him harder than ever and he rarely even gets an erection, (unless he has a meeting with Nurse Linnex scheduled, Nurse L,); I guess it is understandable he should be getting so excited.

I am so looking forward to seeing his look of despondency when he draws a blank!

All the best

Christine XXXX

Hi Christine

So hot! And so much for me to empathise with.

It is over 8 weeks since bitch-boy last came and it will be many more weeks yet! Although that is trivial compared to David’s plight, given up until last spring, bitch-boy used to cum every 10 days to 2 weeks, (subject to special periods), and with my new regimen, he has only cum twice since last spring, he is beside himself with frustration! I tease him almost every day and I have two or three orgasms on approx 5 days out of 7 days a week, mostly using my wand. This includes on days when there is no DS activity. Just because I am being so cruel and it is such a bitchy power-rush, I seem to be always turned -on!

He has been so close to tears during his recent teasings as I flaunt my body and caress my beasts and special places. I think I may actually get tears to flow without touching him! What a power rush you will get when David is so disappointed.

I also empathise with your absence of compassion as I feel exactly the same. It’s powerful to feel like that! What a decadent feeling it is, when they are at their wits end like it is the end of their world, and you are totally unmoved and unsympathetic. I adore that feeling.

Can’t wait to read about the big day!

Stay safe

Scarlet

xx

PS. Oh, wish David a happy anniversary from me. I wish I could send him a card.

---

From: Christine
Sent: 01 March 2021 02:14

I will indeed, Scarlet!

You are so right about what makes it even worse.

The total disdain and disinterest I genuinely feel, leaves him feeling even more helpless, frustrated and ‘worried’.

Please feel free to share on your site if you wish.

Christine

Hi Christine

I am so looking forward to your account of his anniversary day!

Scarlet

xxx

Scarlet

Sunday, March 7 has come and passed. Since David was so excitedly looking forward to the day’s events, I made it a very special day for him! (Which also means I have written far more than I planned!)

He awoke early and was ever so anxious to both please, and later, with doleful eyes, trembling in anticipation, timorously ask about drawing for his release, using the spreadsheet. “Is it the seventh already?” I nonchalantly responded before disdainfully advising that his draw could wait until later; making it obvious it was an unimportant,  nothing matter to me. I was glowing from his ministrations, having had several orgasms, and taking pleasure in thoughts of our contrasting lives. I delighted in rubbing it in that I had just had more orgasms in the past hour, than he would get in the next year.

I continued, by noting he was already late in starting his housework. He was then told to get dressed and made-up, and start on his chores; and to ‘be quick about it’… unless he wanted a hurry-up from my cane! He managed to move with alacrity, though he was clearly inwardly seething at the injustice he perceived in his treatment.

While he applied his make-up, I remonstrated at his self-seeking attitude, mocking his pathetic need to cum; and reminding him that it was just a useless piece of gristle he had between his legs, that I had absolutely no need for it, that it would never ever penetrate me again, nor feel the caress of my hand. It would never even feel the touch of human flesh again!

I also poked fun at him, observing that, since it had been constantly locked up, I had noticed it was shrinking. I then taunted him by advising that we should start referring to it as his ‘teeny weeny winky tinky’. He was crimson with shame and ignominy as I derided him, genuinely fearing he was shrinking. After all, he never gets to see it erect. He has always basked in a little male pride, knowing that he was slightly larger than average. So, this is a much-feared fall from grace for him!

Once he was dressed in his maid’s outfit, I laughed at his feminised state as I curtly told him that I would see if I could squeeze in a couple of minutes for his draw in the afternoon; but he would have to ask me very politely, ‘…. if he might have a chance to play with his ‘teeny weeny winky tinky’, or the draw would be cancelled until next month!

Around two o’clock, he was doing the ironing, when I stridently called him into my office. I had his computer spreadsheet program open, and my iPhone on speaker. Showing complete disinterest in him, I ordered him closer and snappily advised “I’m on the phone to my sister, but she’s fine to hold for ½ a minute while we get your draw out the way,… so, quickly,…. What do you say?” Blushing crimson and cringing in disbelief at my callous indifference for both his dignity and the importance he placed on the event, he quietly stammered, “Can I please draw to see if I can play with my teeny weeny winky tinky?”

Ignoring him, I asked my sister if she had heard him. He was devastated by being so publicly shown up. “You need to speak up David;” I continued, “A nice loud voice this time or I’ll assume you’re not bothered about a release!” He swallowed hard, tears welling up, the day was not going as he had dreamed or prayed for. “Christine, can I please draw to see if I can play with my teeny weeny winky tinky? Please?” He was shaking like a leaf, burning up at being so demeaned, yet still so desperate to cum.

With the sound of my sister’s laughter ringing in his ears, I curtly advised, “Take the mouse… click Apply…. Let’s get it over and done with!” He scurried to do as he was bid, lest I change my mind. As might be expected, the message, ‘Try again next week” appeared in the results box. With complete indifference and brevity, I calmly advised, “Fun over. Back to your ironing….” and returned to my conversation with my sister.

As he dithered, frozen in shock, I stormed “NOW!” He had so expected me to fix it so he had an orgasm, that he was stunned, rooted to the spot in disbelief at being both ridiculed and denied. The colour was by now draining from his face as the realisation sank in that he was not getting a release, even though 12 months had passed since his last. My sister passed a cutting remark about his lack of manliness and shrinkage, and we both laughed uproariously. He was crushed, overwhelmed, devastated and further, humiliated by our laughter.

Crankily shaking his head, stifling his tetchiness, he slowly trudged back to the laundry. About 15 minutes later, I quietly left the office, the phone still up to my face, and glanced into the laundry. He was back at his ironing, though he was moving far too slowly and sullenly for my liking. Amusingly, his face was red and slightly blotchy from having shed a few tears, and he was clearly distraught and angry, with a morose, long-suffering set to his jaw, his frustration and disgruntlement no doubt heightened by my coldness and his feelings of isolation.

I ‘woke’ him from his self-centred, misery-filled trance by loudly instructing, “David, unless you want me to give you something to very seriously cry about, I suggest you stop wallowing in self-pity right now, set a smile on your face and put some serious effort and zest into your ironing! You’ve still got plenty to do!” Instantly, I resumed my light demeanour, chatting happily to my sister as I strolled down the hall, laughing as he was again forgotten, a brief interruption, not deserving of my further attention.

I had very deliberately planned his draw to take place during a call to my sister, not for the humiliation, but the deeper message it sent. The chance to cum had become such an extreme focus for David, it was the most important thing on his mind, in his world. I was therefore showing him just how unimportant his release was to me. It was something to be squeezed into my day and quickly gotten out the way. What he saw as an extremely special and important event, was a nothing event for me, less important than a phone call to my sister, who I speak to every day.

I left him for about an hour, by which time I knew he should be just about finished on the laundry. The ironing was his final chore for the day, (though he would need to clean up the kitchen later); so he would have been expecting to be allowed to change back to his male attire and join me for the evening. Given his poor attitude and laziness with the ironing, this was no longer going to be the case.

He was indeed down to the last few items when I entered, hauling in an industrial size laundry bag. His face dropped and he turned ashen at the stern set of my face and the sight of his bag of punishment ironing. This is full of second-hand clothes from the local charity shop. These are items that I selected for their difficulty to iron and the way they easily crease. There are lots of pleated skirts and frilly blouses. It takes him about three hours to iron everything in the bag, hence his utter dismay! Once everything is ironed and neatly folded, he has to put them on a quick wash cycle, and then through the dryer, to ensure everything is full of creases again, before being crushed back into the bag for a future punishment session.

We have three of these bags and, depending upon the time he has available, the degree of my ire with respect to his ‘misbehaviour, or simply ‘my whim of the moment’; is how many bags he gets to iron. Since today was such a special day for him, and to remind him to avoid silly displays of self-interest… I returned a few minutes later with the other two bags. His spirits visibly sank further, he looked so forlorn.

Because it is punishment ironing, and following the advice of others on your site, he has to change into a pair of high-heeled shoes in which small marbles have been firmly glued onto a sole insert. The shoes are also a size too small, making them most uncomfortable to wear. And he would be standing in them for over 9-hours! No wonder he looked abjectly heartbroken; he was certainly ‘enjoying’ a memorable day!

It was around midnight, having missed out on dinner, that he finally joined me. I then lost count of how many orgasms he gave me. I had him moisturise my body with fragrant oils, while I used my wand, showing him, I didn’t even need his tongue! Needless to say, I also constantly teased him about how I couldn’t see what he was so upset about, he’d gone over a year without coming, what was the big deal if he had to go a few weeks more, or even months?

He snuggled close that night though, after I teased his nipples in bed for a good ½ hour, driving him insane with desire and frustration. His tears of disgruntlement replaced with tears of divine frustration. He was in awe and rapture, and I feel certain that he was in a state of blissful contentment when he fell asleep spooning me.

Christine XXXX

DELIGHTFUL Partial Ignoring

One of my favourites from TUMBLR is this very brief video. I adore so much about it! I provide the GIF and I have had bitch-boy create the image below from screengrabs to depict the my favourite attributes of the GIF. Although I am always terribly cautious about getting my website banned by WordPress for showing nakedness, I thought this image is safe as no genitals are shown. Perhaps ironically on that matter, one of the assumptions I make when viewing the video is that the male is in an inescapable chastity device. bitch-boy when in his dog cage certainly always is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I love that the slave, or husband, or boyfriend, is naked while she is dressed in everyday clothing. I love that the video begins and ends with him all alone and totally ignored. I love it is a little used area of the home, tucked away. I love that he gets no more from her than a momentary glance and that her satisfied, mocking smile plays on her lips for only a second; then he is pretty much forgotten about again as she gets on with her day. But not completely forgotten about, oh no. If she is like me then;

……. every now and again, she will remember her chaste toy locked away, in a dog cage, lonely, bored, deeply humiliated and totally subjugated. Every now and again she will become aroused with her power-rush and feelings of decadence, bitchiness and pitilessness and she will apply her wand to herself and hope, or ensure, her screams of ecstasy, (during yet another orgasm), work their through the building to his ears.

He will think about the unfairness of how, on so many individual days, she gets more orgasms than he gets in a whole year. And she will think of him thinking that, and a new power-rush will envelop her. And she will leave him there; perhaps for many, many more hours getting her kicks, and in the knowledge that, because he is a true submissive, when all that misery is over, or even during the misery, he will be in complete awe of his mistress-wife and his souls will be filled with submissive deep contentment. He is in no doubt that he is privileged to be helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel, dominant woman and that is all that counts!

And she will exploit that for her own benefits and the perfect symbiosis will continue.

 

A link to all my journals HERE, including:

A crueller style?

All I write in this post is in the context of my definition of a submissive:’A submissive cannot be wholly content unless they feel helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel dominant.‘

I have been in comment exchanges with Tinyman about his Mistress’s style of domination because I was intrigued by an aspect that I have never used. I wonder if others have views or relevant experiences. (The key comment exchanges are at the foot of the post.)

One aspect of my style of dominance is to be amused by, and exploit, any aspect of the degradation or physical torment of bitch-boy that results in concurrent SEXUAL arousal. I accept given his long periods of denial, forcing him to take a Cialis, and using my beautiful body visually, or skilled hands manually, it is not surprising he gets erection at times, even though nastiness is in play or on the horizon. There are lots of examples, but two that immediately come to mind are firstly when I am pressing down with my shoe on his defect while I am on the stomping stage. I love to squash it while flaccid but I love to ridicule him when he gets hard. ‘Could you be more pathetic? Getting hard while I squash your defect under the soles of my boots , and I kick it this way and that. What a little pervert you are. Woeful pervert and certainly not a real man who gets hard as a prelude to fucking.’  The second example is when I allow him to lick me, (he is VERY REVERANTIAL), with ‘foreplay’ of kissing my thighs, my stomach, my labia etc. ‘Oh such a special and rare treat for you little bitch. Getting all emotional and aroused simply from being a slave. Being used, despite you knowing you will not get any reciprocal activity in return. Pathetic!‘

I think this style ticks bitch-boy’s submissive boxes and leaves him in awe of me, which I want. By my response, he is in no doubt ‘….that he is helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel dominant.‘ And I get very, very enjoyable amusement when I ridicule him.

Well, Tinyman’s Mistress has another style. Any degradations or physical torments that concurrently sexually arouse Tinyman become prohibited. But Tinyman finds he is deeply affected when he REFLECTS on the pitilessness of his Mistress’s regimen, rather than becoming aroused concurrently with any act she is doing to him in real time. In this specific way, he is in no doubt ‘….that he is helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel dominant.‘ Especially cruel! And his Mistress gets great pleasure from each prohibition.

The Comments Exchange 

Dear Mistress Scarlet,

I’ll try to avoid this response meandering as much as possible. But my wife is highly dedicated to removing all forms of pleasure for me. In the early days, she created “unpleasant” punishments for me such as cleaning her sweaty feet with my tongue, armpit worship, and ingesting a lot of her spit.

However, as a sub I think I’m not alone in being very able to fetishise the conventionally unpleasant. My wife started to realise this and started to swiftly remove things I’d clearly started enjoying. This would include asking me to kneel and asking if I liked her spit. I’d reply “yes mistress” and she’d ask me to open my mouth. She’d act as though she was about to spit and would then note my erection and say “you enjoy this slave don’t you.” When I replied I did she would say “then you’re never getting it again.”

When she gets in from a run she would put her arms above her head and say “time to clean me slave.” I would lick her armpits. Then one time as I went to lick her armpits, she pulled away at the last minute. She said “you’re erect, you enjoy this, you will never touch my armpits again.”

This was likewise for feet. I;m no longer allowed to smell or kiss them. She gets me to beg but always refuses. The exception is I’m allowed to massage her feet with oil. She got me a massage course for my birthday along with a massage table so I’m now quite adept at this.

She loves to flaunt herself in front of me when naked, when she sees me swell, she simply laughs and says “never again!”

She enjoys honour based chastity as she loves me feeling the swell and frustration and also enjoys being able to see it herself

In reply to Tinyman301.

Bearing in mind my definition of a submissive being; someone wo can only be truly content when they are helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel dominant, it is an interesting and novel form of domination. As I understand it, your Domme stops using a degradation if or as soon as soon as it brings submissive arousal to the you. I am thinking this makes you contentedly submissive and in awe of her because it is sooooo cruel and you are helplessly in her power! It does beg a question though. Do you no longer endure any degradations at all?

(The usual state of affairs is the submissive truly dislikes the degradations they endure at the time of enduring them, but when they are over, helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel dominant because of being subjected to things he does not like at the time he endures them.)

Dear Mistress Scarlet

I endure degradations but ones I’m by nature not able to fetishise. I am absolutely not a “pain slut” and as such whippings etc have increased

Additionally tedium and mind numbing tasks I am not able to make into a turn on (for instance 3 hours of ironing)

Removal of all pleasurable experience and sensation is her priority. So if I suddenly make that submissive development where I learn to enjoy something previously seen as unpleasant then it is immediately taken away

Another example is using my fetish against me. I used to be made to smell her panties whilst in honour based chastity. I love the smell and even the partial release of an erection without orgasm was nice so it was stopped as an activity

However, my wife used to make me bring her to orgasm whilst she was wearing her panties. Then she would put them on my nose with the leg holes hooked over my ears and instruct me I couldn’t take them off

She immediately then fell into a post orgasm sleep whilst I lay there in a tortured aroused state but being unable to touch myself meaning I was lying there for some time unable to settle which she enjoyed asking me about the next morning

So sometimes things that give me pleasure are cruelly turned against me to further increase submissive suffering.

For info on my BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.

Visual teasing

I have mentioned I am working on an Addendum to my very popular BDSM manual. The addendum covers new activities and techniques I have come across and technology that has been developed in the 4 years since my BDSM manual was published. One small section of the Addendum No.1 is on visual teasing.  I have not  devoted many words to this topic in my BDSM Manual as I frequently stress that having a great body is totally unnecessary for creating a perfect symbiotic dominant/submissive relationship; but a good proportion of dominant women have a great body or a spectacular body part, hence this post.

So this post is for research; asking about experiences involving Dommes using their body or a specific body part, or indeed a submissive’s visual fetish, to visually tease their, locked in chastity, sexually desperate, submissive. Most males are deeply affected by visual stimulation! I am interested in experiences of Dommes or subs.

I have refined what I do as a visual tease by watching bitch-boy’s pained, frustrated reaction to things I have tried. I now use two or three specific poses and a routine where I pretend to myself that my hands belong to  a lover pressed into my back behind me, who is reaching around me and caressing my breasts and cupping and sometimes fingering my most special item. I have been close to having bitch-boy in tears with this honed and refined routine and I aim to actually have him in tears. That would be so amusing!

Slightly related to the thrust of this post, I will mention something that very much amused me I remember reading about; perhaps 25 years ago. A very dominant  older Domme, with  a very average body who married a much younger submissive, found he had a stash of Playboy magazines, purchased before he met her, and was secretly jerking off to them. She instituted a chastity regime with a waist and gusset chastity belt which was all that was available then. The submissive found himself, for the first time, suffering weeks of sexual denial which he seriously struggled to cope with. To ram home her position, once or twice a week, she would have him kneel at her feet where she sat on the sofa and she would go through his Playboy magazines, page by page, pointing out the various assets of the naked beauties, comparing beauties, asking him which he preferred, which butt and why, which breasts and why, driving him crazy with unrequited lust.

Such was her pleasure with this, punishment fits the crime, that she actually took out a postal subscription for the monthly magazine so she could bring new beauties into the punishment each month so he did not become habituated to the repeated views of the same beauties.

That joyful (for me) clinking sound

Just a short post on something I have been meaning to mention for sometime. Since I introduced bitch-boy’s rather extreme, consecutive, chastity denial periods, there is a vanilla time sound that never fails to delight me and give me a warm glow of a power-rush and sense of being a total bitch.  Delightful feelings.

That sound is the little clinking sound of the top padlock on bitch-boy’s inescapable chastity cage. When he is naked and getting dressed/undressed/in the bathroom. If in loose jogging bottoms for exercise or because of an instruction. I must hear a moment of the sound perhaps 20 times a day and each time I get those delightful feelings. In vanilla periods I often instruct bitch-boy to wear loose jogging bottoms and he is never allowed to wear underwear. So clinking as he walks he brings me delight and he is humiliated whenever I point out my delight at the sound.

And I am not surprised he is humiliated. A grown man; a BAV – never allowed to fuck, never allowed to masturbate and almost never allowed an orgasm; WHILE married to a wife with an amazing body that she shows off very often.