A couple of commenters, in relation to my recent post of the account of Sissy Maid Sonya, have mentioned Madame Rebecca who lived a FLR based around cuckolding and her sissy maid. She used to run a yahoo group. She died quite a while ago, but there is a partial archive of her writing on Fetlife… https://fetlife.com/groups/23675
Several people have commented how much they liked Madame Rebecca’s material, so I decided to have my bitch download her archive and I have begun to read it.
What I liked so far
Firstly, very good, is her attitude. An unwavering belief that she deserves and will get EXACTLY the life she wants for her sexual and other pleasure, and ease, at whatever cost to her husband. Included in that attitude is that she is fully relaxed while being uncompromising and pitiless. I adore such an attitude and always find it quite hot indeed.
This attitude particularly relevant to chore duties, humiliating sissification, sexual denial and cuckolding.
Secondly, she employs both corner time and storing away in a cupboard when not needing her maid, and what I particularly adored was she had identified a specific corner in every room as the storage space for her husband-maid. So no matter in which room they were both occupation, she simply utters the word, “Corner“, and her husband-sissy-maid knows where he must go to push his nose to the wall and stand silently without fidgeting, until further notice.
I know from my own experience that, especially in front of visitors, suffering corner time is very very, very humbling and humiliating for the occupier of the corner!
To throw in my own two-pennies worth, there are other options to corner time that are even worse for the uxo and so, even more pleasurable for the Domme. An even deeper humiliation is for the uxo to be dressed as a parody of a little girl and sit on the floor or a small chair, and have to quietly but audibly, play a game with dollies, emulating the persona of a little girl, lisping and all. I know from my own experience that, especially in front of visitors, this tribulation is very very, very humbling and very very, very humiliating, for the ‘little girl’. Much worse than mere corner time. (Volume 23 of my journals goes into great detail.)
And an option of a different type is for the Domme to sit in a swing seat with her boot on the throat of the uxo who lays on his back in front of her seat. Retching and gagging and whimpering can be heard, (but not too loud), from somewhere down below, as the Domme rocks away; reading, or attending to social media or phone calls with girlfriends.
What I hated so much
Her ludicrous belief and assertion that ALL men could be dominated in the way she dominated her husband. I abhor all falsehoods relating to FLRs. I abhor all generalisations relating to FLR that do not stand up in any way to scrutiny.
One generalisation that DOES stand up to scrutiny is that, when it comes to FLRs, and to a male submitting to a woman, there are two very distinct types of male. Uxos and non-uxos. Only uxos can be compelled to become sissy maids, (as simply as by the Domme saying “Do you want domination my way, or no domination at all”.) And an uxo would find deep contentment in being helplessly in the power of a dominant woman with a bit of a mean streak, who would enforce that.
Whereas, a non-uxo male could only be forced into becoming a sissy maid by extreme measures like, unlawful blackmail or domestic imprisonment and physical force. And the non-uxo male would get zero contentment in being helplessly in the power of a dominant woman with a bit of a mean streak.
One reason I abhor this misinformation so much is how it makes it even more difficult to increase the number of women who will run an FLR, if the topic is filled with confusing misinformation. Much like a husband telling his wife he is a submissive person, when of course he means he is an uxo and wishes to submit to her, but is not actually submissive at all other than to her, and perhaps some other dominant women.
It is almost as annoying as the huge number of uxos on FLR related social media who make statements along the lines of, how the world should be run by women and all the males submit to that. An uxo should realise that not all men feel like he does at all! An uxo should also realise that, there are great men and great women who should be running things in this world, and also, there are appallingly stupid men, AND APPALLINGLY STUPID WOMEN, who should not be running anything at all, not even an FLR.
Mistress Scarlet's Blog 
im so glad your bitch took the time to download her files for you and you gave them a read.
As you know I am a big admirer of Madam Rebecca and love her philosophy on sissification in a female led relationship, which I employ in mine.
However, I do tend to agree with you when it comes to the subject of all men being dominated. I have a boyfriend at the moment and there is no way in hell I could get him to the point in life my maid is in, that takes an UXO. My boyfriend would just leave.
I think it’s important when woman are studying multiple dominant women for advice and ideas, to not take everything as gospel, and to take a sensible and open minded approach to the information that you read.
I have found your teaching on the general psychology of submissive men, the difference between submissives and UXO’s, to be the most sound.
Mistress Tracy
Thank you for the reassuring words.
Hello again Miss Scarlet.
First, let me thank you for taking my suggestion for a new name for “submissives,” a derivative of “uxorious,” and shortening it to something much more useful. I’ve even started to see the term “uxo” appear in similar contexts at other locations on the web. The new term, and idea, spreads!
Second, regarding Mistress Tracy’s comment above, I was under the impression that you were using “uxo” as a more “vanilla female acceptable” synonym for “submissive.” However, Mistress Tracy states:
“I have found your teaching on . . . the difference between submissives and UXO’s, to be the most sound.”
This suggests you have different definitions for these terms. That there might be two different classes (or “intensities”) of submissives / uxo’s.
Did I somehow miss something? Is there a distinction in how the terms should be used, and for whom?
Thanks again for helping my understanding.
I took her reference to submissive was someone who is a very weak victim type person who is submissive to all people in all contexts. As opposed to an uxo who is submissive only the their Domme, and anyone else selected by her. Does that make sense?
Thanks for the post and your comments Mistress Scarlet. I too find Madame Rececca’s postings hot. So true though that generalisations about men and woman in FLRs confuse. As you point out, each relationship is unique and the dynamic different and evolving. I wonder if stereotyping all men as wanting to be helplessly controlled by a dominant woman is a hot fantasy for dommes or simply something that is said because it arouses uxos.
I fear it is said neither because it is a hot fantasy for Dommes nor something that is said because it arouses uxos. I fear it is said because it is believed by the speaker who has simply not through the ludicrousness of the belief.
I understand wanting a clear and brief definition, but I think strict definitions are a myth best passed by. I clearly have submissive tendencies (towards woman), I would adore being under the control of a powerful woman I admire and I would take Madam Rebecca on her word if she would say she could turn me into a sissy. However I doubt that I fall under your definition of an uxo, since I don’t think the only way for me to find true satisfaction would be if I feel helplessly under the control of the woman I admire. There is an interesting blog about a woman who sissified her male over the years, she is called Lady Alexa, and from what I can gather their dynamic seems quite a bit different from yours and much more focused on sissifcation than strict control. I don’t know her man, but I doubt he would fall into the uxo category either, yet she is pushing him further into being a sissy. That is not to say that I think Madam Rebecca is right, just that I don’t think it is only possible to do this with uxo’s either. In the end I think each persons personal psychological make-up and the dynamics they find themselves in are too complex to boil-down to a single definition that accounts for one specific group. Forcing a label with such a strict definition might end up clouding the reality more than it would elucidate it. Personally I think staying closer to the etymological root of the word would be more benificial to educate and include a wider range of people. That is, something like ‘a man which seeks to devote himself to a (specific) woman’ without the addendum of needing to feel helplessly controlled by a woman with a bit of a mean streak.
Clear definitions clearly are not a myth. Is it a myth if someone is blind? If someone is left handed? If someone is a paranoid schizophrenic? If a cat is black? Clear definitions are how humans make sense of the world. you have not yet lived your life so you cannot say what would make you wholly content. I am not sure you are in a relationship. More importantly, if you are not an uxo, why are you reading my blog?
I have no idea how Lady Alexa provides evidence in support of your view? perhaps he is simply a transvestite and not an uxo. How does that support your view?
But the real crux of the matter, and the reason we must have a clear definition arises from the genesis of the word uxo.
I have spent two decades studying the issue and gathering evidence. Over the last few years I have been trying to find ways to increase the number of FLRs by identifying what goes wrong when an uxo opens up to is wife. The first catastrophic error was him describing himself to her as a ‘submissive’. Hence the term uxo was born, with help from a commenter on this blog.
The second issue was him having a short concise way of describing what an uxo is. Instead of confusing his wife with a rambling incoherent mess. The third was to make it clear that there are hundreds of thousands of uxos, exactly like him, and uxos cannot not be an uxo, so this thing was not just a personal kinky fetish he was choosing to have.
I hope you can see why I am sticking to my guns.
I agree that a distinction from the word ‘submissive’ with its variety of ‘bad connotations’ might be useful. But if you limit it to a very narrow definition, you might leave out an even larger group of man that fall somewhere on the border. In case of Lady Alexa, she, as far as she says, is not mean on purpose in any kinda way, she simply likes her man to be woman-like. She also is not overtly controlling other than in that aspect. Assuming they are both content with the dynamic, it would run counter to part of your definition and therefore that only uxo’s can be forced into feminization. And in case ofLady Alexa’ man, he has protested against some aspects in the past, so I doubt he would be a travestite. Of course the more literal the thing a definiton refers to, the more apt it will usually be. But what about person that sre only partly blind, what about person that are blind but can hear so well compared to other people that are blind that they almost create an echo-located view of the world for themselves. What about people who have gone blind versus those who were born blind. Those who have gone slowly blind versus those who went abruptly blind. Those who lost an arm in an accident versus those who wanted to amputate it because it did not feel like part of their body. These to me all seem to point to different experiences which would fall under the same definition, which is possible because the definition is only covering a ‘superficial’ aspect of their experience. It would be equal to saying Uxo’s are man who fall for dominant woman, without all the added qualifications of what that dynamic has to entail. You’re right in saying that I can’t know for sure I don’t fall under you definition of an Uxo, but I am pretty sure it is not what I want most. The reason I read your blog is that there is a lot of overlap with what you describe and what I desire, but for the fact that I belief I personally could lead a fullfilling live under the helpless control of a woman. Either way, thank you for your blog and I wish you success in helping more man and woman find a satsifying relationship
Lady Alexa’s role and behaviour is irrelevant to whether or not her man is an uxo. If her man does not want what is happening to him, he is an uxo. If he is OK with what is happening to him, he is a transvestite. There is no ‘somewhere on the boarder.’ And she is very disingenuous. How can she not be mean, if she is forcing a man to be sissyified against his will.
You seem to completely miss the paradoxical nature of an uxo. They have to be forced to do things they do not like, in order to be content. Her man seems to be falling exactly into the definition. Ys, he is content, BECASUE HE IS AN UXO.
Blind is blind. Not blind, but having impaired vision is partially blind. Whether from bith of after is also irrelevant to that definition.
By the way, I maintain you are an uxo. 😉 You are not in a position to argue about that until you have lived enough vanilla life to know, vanilla life is not doing it for you.
Uxos do not fall for a dominant woman.They find there are an uxo and then seek a woman who will dominate them with a bit of a mean streak.
You failed altogether to address the key issue. 1.The term submissive is useless and needs an alternative that is concise and accurate. 2. Uxos need to be able to say there are hundreds of thousands EXACTLY like me. It is not a choice. I cannot change, like they cannot change.
Any vagueness or claims of personal uniqueness simply works against the uxo when explaining how he is to his wife or girlfriend. Clearly not something you have ever done, I am sure. If you do, please let me know how it goes. I am always keen on more data to add to my 20 years worth.
Thank you for pointing that out, Mistress Scarlet. The nature and “logic” of an UXO (like me) is really strange. You summarized it brilliantly, when you said “the paradoxical nature of an uxo. They have to be forced to do things they do not like, in order to be content. “.
For example one of my former Mistresses was really into feeding me disgusting things. She even experimented sometimes in her free time and researched to find recipes for even more horrible food.
She had build a special “feeding chair” where she could tie my hands down to two O-rings on the legs of the chair and strap my body to the back rest of the chair. The seat of the chair was replaced with a somewhat thick metal sheet. She then used to put candles under the chair at a distance that was enough to heat up the seat terribly but very very slowly over time.
Then she would spoon feed me her horrible dishes and only allow me to leave the hot seat once I had eaten up. Means at some point I literally was begging her to feed me more and faster, so that I could escape the fate of becoming a human BBQ. Was a terrible mindfuck.
If anybody would have asked me before, if I am dreaming of eating rotten disgusting food, I would have looked at them as if they were crazy and said “of course not, why would I want that?”. I would have said that instead I am dreaming about being tied down and then a hot dominatrix in PVC cloth would strictly ride me to orgasm or that I would love to be tied down and then receiving a blow job from a blonde woman with perfect make-up who would tell me how much she is in control, while blowing me. Something like that is what I would have SAID and THOUGHT that I need.
It took some time and strength to gain the insight that what I really needed/need is “to be forced to do things [I] do not like, in order to be content“. As simple as that but insanely hard to accept (for me).
So instead of having my “PVC dream girl” ride me to “forced” orgasm after orgasm, I “ended” up eating disgusting food, while honestly cursing myself for getting myself into that situation. There I was, naked and in chastity since weeks, sitting on a hot plate, begging to be fed more spoons of something that was more “horror goo” than any food I could recognize. Sometimes even crying, while my Mistress was laughing and enjoying herself in her blue jeans and white lose wool pullover with no make-up or anything.
Once I was done I was allowed to lick and kiss her (sometimes flat, sometimes medium high) leather shoes to thank her, while she was taunting me verbally about how “happy I must be right now, since I just performed a sexual act” and if I also think that I am a pathetic creature for having traded in “orgasms for this”.
It was horrible, but it was also paradise!
And for the record: Would I like not to be an UXO? Yes, 100% for sure. I love orgasms just as much as we all do and terrible things are also terrible things for me. But I simply have no choice. I can surpress my uxo-hunger for some years, but in the end I would rather die than living a live without “to be forced to do things [I] do not like, in order to be content“.
But being an UXO is not a choice. It´s as much of a choice than a lion has the choice to become a vegan.
If I could chose my sexual preference and personality type, then I would like to be a dominant gay man (double income, no kids, lots and lots of sexual partners easily accessible, being good looking and elegant, getting your will, ability to even have a whole stable of slaves, etc.). Since thats in my eyes the “winning preference” … but … it´s not a choice.
Thank you, Mistress Scarlet, for making this clear to your readers.
Excellent comment.
Peter, I would love to read more about your food experiences, including the specific recipes you’ve had to “enjoy”!
I,d love to read some recipes too!
Dear Jess and Nadia,
you asked for some of the recipes that my former Mistress used to cook the horrible dishes she fed me. I would love to help you out with that, but she never told me what she used to create the “food”.
I think it was part of the fun for her that I literally had no idea what that was that I was just forced to chew and gulp down. This also stimulated my worst fantasies, since I of course tried to figure out in my mind what it was that I had in my mouth and in my stomach …
Sometimes it tasted so bad that it brought tears to my eyes and I wanted to scream. She even had a bucket ready for me since she always gave me the “kind option” to throw up in between and then continue eating the remaining food.
The food most of the time looked like a brownish stew of goo like quality and sometimes already smelled like a nightmare.
She experimented with recipes and always had multiple horrible plates ready that I had to give feedback on.
I remember chewing on rubber like meat, maybe that was some rumina? Also other things that probably were some animal organ prepared in a way that it is not supposed to be prepared. Some fish oil too that I identified one time in a dish. Also something that I suspected to be milk mixed with Coca Cola instead of water to create some kind of horror soup with all kind of squishy raw tasting meat or fish bits.
Just remembering this nearly makes me throw up while I am typing this …
Till today I pray that she did not mix some of her poo into the food. She said she would not do that, but since I would not be able to identify the taste, there was very little I could do to make sure it was not like that. Of course she tortured my mind with that additionally for her amusement by saying things like “You will have to trust me that I keep my word. But maybe you want to check on me, then all you have to do is eat some poop alone at home so you know the taste. Or you don´t and simply trust me.” …
I trusted her and shiver thinking back now to her sadistic mindfucks.
She sounds wonderfully inventive
I am loving how well you are holding yourself in these debates and your wealth of knowledge is really shining through.
I am a reader of Lady Alexa’s blog and her ‘girl’ as she calls her, is definitely an UXO. He protests every time she brings in something new to his feminisation and then ends up doing it anyway because like you keep saying, he needs to be under the control of a dominant woman to be content.
I think the problem your having is that ‘domme’ and ‘submissive’ are words that have been a part of this female led relationship culture for so long, bringing in new terms can bring some resistance, even when it’s not really warranted. I know UXO is a Latin word so very old anyway but you are currently the only person I read for example that uses it. There’s probably a bunch of submissives that are UXOs but are just being stubborn about it. Even when I read your first post on it, I was a bit dubious but then I quickly realised that this is correct and is definitely needed to create a distinction.
my maid is an UXO, there’s no doubt about it (Would love to have her on your BAV register by the way) and I feel just calling her a submissive man now wouldn’t be the correct term. I find explaining this to other people on the scene, that she doesn’t want what’s happening to her, but that’s a big part of what is making her content, very hard. People struggle to grasp it. But you put it across so well so I invariably end up just sending them links to you.
Mistress Tracy
Thank you for the kind reassurances.
There are lots of uxos now describing themselves as uxos which is good. (I don’t know how long it took for gay men to have that label replace homosexual or sodomite within society; years I imagine.)
Certainly 99%, or more, of uxo commenters to this blog refer to themselves as uxos. You are right there will always be some that want to be different. That feel they are too special to be ‘lumped in’ under the definition that works for 99.9+%. I don’t often believe I will change such a person’s mind in my exchanges, but hope others reading the exchange will see folly in erroneous statements made to me.
I think it is important to not forget the obvious: There are MANY types of people out there. I am glad that Mistress Scarlet defined the group of the Uxo.
Uxo is not just a new word for a “submissive”, but helps people (like myself) to find experiences from their peers and to avoid misunderstandings.
And yes, there is of course submissive people who are not Uxos. For example all those people who basically are submissive to everyone in all stages of their life: from PVC clad dominatrix to the 56 year old bus driver, everyone can push them around. That type of submissive. I know they exist and I know for sure that there are many differences between them and an Uxo and what ever other clearly defined type of submissive person is out there there.
It´s great to have the term “Uxo” now, so we do not mix up for example the two types of people from the example I gave. A friend of mine is of that “100% submissive towards everyone on earth” type and he is very deeply convinced that he is just pathetic and a loser. So being with his Mistress is for him a great gift, since his honest opinion about himself is that he deserves nothing and even the slightest attention is something he basically does not deserve, so he feels all the time like “he ows” his Mistress.
That is absolutely not how I feel and therefore I am happy that I now can tell him “look I am an Uxo and you are a different type that I do not know if it has a name yet. Maybe we could call your group the truly pathetic ones” … lol … a label he gladly would take at any moment in time.
Another example: my current Mistress and future wife (hopefully) told me that she is very much into feminizing men. When we first met and she discovered that I had more female sissy cloth in my closet than mens cloth, she was very happy. She thought that I would just be like her crossdressing male friends, who just needed an environment in which they finally would be accepted to dress the way that they love to dress. I could see that inside that segment of her friends were two sub-groups: those who enjoyed the female cloth as a wearable fetish object that made them hot and those who enjoyed the gender swap by dressing up and everything that comes with it.
My future wife was very surprised in the beginning of our relationship (which was during lockdown in corona times). That when she gave me the order to wear only female cloth at home now, I was kind of passing out from the mental strain this put on me after around 60 hours.
For me wearing female cloth is something I DO NOT want to see happening to me. But since I am an Uxo, I need things to be forced on me that I hate.
So after 60 hours all my mental energy was tortured out of me and I simply “kind of collapsed” from the psychological torture in the same way as someone would if one would receive physical torture without end and the perspective of it going on forever.
It was a big shock to my Mistress, since she thought she would “make my dream come true” and that she would be “liberating me to be the way I want to be”.
Even after 8 years of being super active in the BDSM scene, she never realized that there are very different reasons on why a male is dressed in female cloth. I guess since she mainly visited BDSM parties, she never really dealt with the theoretical background of why people do what they do and like what they like. For her it was more like “ok, there is a male with a green plastic tag on his collar, so I can spank him, when I wish to at this party and … hey … look at that, he wears a tiny dress, ok, good for him, now hand me that cane”.
Its a more pragmatic approach to BDSM that for sure works and is followed by many and even more who follow it to a partial degree. Because many theoretical things end up in the same pragmatic situation, like “who knows why an Uxo is an Uxo, in the end the only thing that matters in terms of how to treat him so he can find happiness is that he is an Uxo”.
Thank you for the Fet Group info. I’m a Fetlife member for a number of years. I joined her Group a few minutes ago. I know in the past I’ve disagreed with a number of your Posts. I agree 100% with this one. Both in your Pro and Con positions (though I still don’t grasp the UXO nomenclature). I look forward to your future Posts. Note that disagreement doesn’t mean I don’t respect you. If I did. I wouldn’t bother responding.
I very much agree with you on your most appropriate sense of proportion when. it comes to the real world of uxos and non-uxos . These are indeed the main distinctions to be sure but there are also transitional in-between ones that may be loosely classified as either it seems to me since all domestic situations and environments have a bearing on whether they are uxo or non-uxo and are dependently influential in one way or another. Please tell me what you think and whether i may be onto something or simply going off on a tangent as i sometimes often do please?
An uxo is defined by what they feel they need in order to be wholly content. It has nothing to do with anything else, including nothing to do with domestic situations and environments,. There are no transitional uxos, but there are transitional FLRs.
The hypothesis of “There are no transitional uxos” is an interesting one. I always asked myself if there is something of a “scaling” of how much the paradoxical nature of an uxo is manifested in an individual. As in that maybe each Uxo has a different level of how much they have to be forced to do things they do not like, in order to be content.
For example my second Mistress told me that she knows that her other slave would love to get out of his chastity cage every 3 days to have 2 – 4 orgasms. She told me that with that amount of lockup his hunger to be forced to do things he does not like, in order to be content would be fine. But since she is a sadist and there is two people in this dom-slave relationship, she also needs to be happy. That is why she keeps him locked between 1 and 4 month and sometimes even tells him that this probably was his last orgasm forever. She simply enjoys him suffering.
For me she kept me chaste for three to six month in a row and then allowed me between one and six month outside the cage. Because she said that she could see how I am tortured by the completely different mental states I have to switch in between when a chaste period switches to a “orgasm as much as you like”.
And she was right, at the ned of a chaste period I was literally begging her to keep me chaste and during free orgasm period I was like “I wish this would never end”. She told me seeing how I never could find mental peace and was suffering from that psychologically was the best turn on for her, so she did things with me that way and with her other slave differently. All according to what made her most happy.
That could mean that her slave and I had different level of how much they have to be forced to do things they do not like, in order to be content. I would say probably yes, we had different levels that we needed, but in the end the one thing that (my hypothesis) all Uxos have in common is, that they can not be happy when there is a limit set for the dominant.
If I had known, that my Mistress is only “allowed” to keep me chaste for let´s say one month maximum, then I probably could not be content.
So I guess the amount of torture and suffering we experience depends in the end of the day on the personality type of the femdom. The other slave in my example would for sure not have objected, if his femdom would let him out of chastity every three days, tough luck for him that his femdom had different needs and preferences.
For example the Mistress that took over from the Mistress I just wrote about, the one who had “trained me initially”, she had a very different perspective on the chastity topic. Before she became my Mistress she was always like “oh, yeah, I really understand how much you need orgasms and that you are one of the persons who loves to orgasm 3 to 6 times a day, its really tough that you are in one of your chaste periods again”. And when she took over the “leash” from my initial Mistress, she suddenly decided: “Oh, by the way, you will orgasm only on Christmas and on your birthday in June”. I was shocked and asked he if she forgot how much I love to orgasm. And she only laughed and told me that she always was intrigued by that since taking away all orgasms from someone who would miss them so much more compared to her other slaves was something that made her all wet and happy.
So this experience also adds to the hypothesis that, YES, “maybe each Uxo has a different level of how much they have to be forced to do things they do not like, in order to be content” but that most Uxos have in common, that they can not be happy when there is a limit set for the dominant.
So that the different levels of domination we can observe originate 100% in the needs of the femdom.
Very good comment again. There are no transitional uxos, you either are or you are not. But the amount of ‘endurance’ needed to be content may differ; although I believe it must always be enough that the uxo regrets what he wished for, at least a little bit.
Please answer me this Mistress Scarlet ; Do you think an uxo is born and has an innate sense of Female Superiority in his soul or do you think he is made and converted by some outside influences or do you think its a combination of both? With regard to myself i truly feel a deep sense of inferiority to a Superior Female and have felt it ever since my school days and puberty but which has grown and developed over time. The absolute abandonment of ones body and mind to a Superior Female is a deeply ingrained and innate part of me that i know i will never be able to shake off or deny and once i am in this deep subspace i simply cannot refuse my Mistress anything. It may seem foolish and unwise but surely thats what happens when you give yourself utterly and completely to the power of a Woman?
I do not believe an uxo is born. I believe uxos become uxo between the ages of 5 and 10. I believe I know how it happens, but that is not relevant to anything really. What counts is what they need to be wholly content and how we can develop more FLRs.
Thank you Mistress Scarlet . As always you are succinct and to the point( and you always put me right where i go wrong too. its no wonder that you have my sincere respect and admiration . I am in tremendous need to be in tune with my inner self and to be able to adore and worship and obey a dominant female is at the very heart of my being .It goes very deep with me but as you often and so rightly say the Dominant Female is the Greater, and in demand and uxos are so plentiful.
Nice comment.
Miss, I want to say how refreshing it was to read the very last paragraph on this post. Thanks for the great blog.
I think the things addressed in the section “What I hated so much” of your review on Madam Rebecca are probably things that she liked and that turned her on sexually, that are NOT suited for generalization to everyone. As a rule of thumb “most generalizations are wrong to a certain degree”, thats my hypothesis of how things are, but thats a different topic.
I have many femdom and male dom people in my friends circle, so from speaking to some of them I got the obvious insight that there are always fantasies that simply must not become a reality, since they affect other people in a highly negative and/or criminal way.
For example one male dom told me that he would love to torture and imprison an 18 year old boy against his will. He said “the thought makes me horny beyond every other fantasy, but as a responsible ethical human being I would never make that fantasy a reality”.
One femdom told me that for sure she gets all hot and horny, when she thinks about a “law” that all men must be locked in chastity and would always have a female “owner” so that the females could even exchange and trade their males. Very hot fantasy, but obviously brings many problems.
So whenever I read a blog or article in the internet where a dominant person describes her fantasies and/or believes, then I always cut that person enough slack to consider that of course not all fantasies can or should become reality.
I am simply happy for the few brave and generous individuals, such as yourself Mistress Scarlet, who allow us others to learn about their life and their fantasies. This way society can develop and we as individuals have some role models in an area where everything is normally secret and hidden.
THANK YOU!
Unfortunately she did give any indication she was writing about her fantasies and I do not think she was so doing. She did write the ludicrous generalisation about males, that I think she believed. If we want more FLRs, it is so important ALL myths are eliminated so clear learning and communication takes place.
You are so right about the devastating humiliation an uxo experiences when required to behave as a parody of a little girl whilst wearing appropriate clothing. The uxo may well feel that the presence of witnesses makes the performance too embarrassing to bear yet knows at a deeper level that he needs to submit. The humiliation of the uxo is perfectly balanced by the satisfaction and extraordinary sexual excitement experienced by the Mistress.
I adore you have included the sexual arousal generated by the wielding of total power over an uxo, having them endure what they hate at the time. I wonder if dominant women of the last 50 years had mentioned this aspect instead of being 100% coy about it, there might be far more FLRs now! c
Linked to that observation, I am sure it does not enter the uxo’s head for one moment, at the time of any terrible endurance, that they know they need to submit to have a fully contented life. I think that comes only when the endurances are all over for the day, and they reflect. And also at that time of reflection, they feel in awe of their fearsome Mistress. Perfect symbiosis.
An interesting thought. Historically coyness has been seen as a desirable component of femininity but of course this has obscured the issue of female sexual excitement which was considered an unacceptable subject for polite conversation (though not for scientific research by Kinsey et al). Perhaps we have neglected to emphasise the heightened and permanent sense of arousal experienced by women in an FLR. Is that because we too are just a little coy ? If so, it is inappropriate and perhaps emphasising this benefit would appeal to a wider audience of young women.
I did not explain myself properly. I do not suggest potential FLR women are commended to discuss the issue with anyone else. But simply that we women getting an amazing sex life as a result of pitiless domination of an uxo, should all make that clear in the public environment of social media. I would go as far as suggesting its a duty, as the more women that get led into FLR, the more compatriots we have, and the more normalised it is.
It is of course the opposite of the foul religious activity of female genital mutilation to ENSURE women get no pleasure from sexual activity at all, and therefore will never be unfaithful.
I completely agree with you about the need for FLR women to open up about the delights of their relationship via social media or personal blogs. It could be considered a duty as you say.
Another thought occurs to me. It is increasingly common for men in traditionally masculine occupations (footballers would be an obvious example) to announce their homosexuality with a degree of pride. It is hard to imagine a man coming out as an uxo, but why not ?
Surely an uxo should be proud to provide his Mistress with the impeccable service she insists upon. Why should any stigma be attached to such selflessness ? I believe that only those who are insecure in their own masculinity would choose to ridicule a true uxo or his Mistress. A true uxo should wear his cuckold’s horns with pride
I think while there might be understandable pride from the selflessness and devotion, I can’t see there would be understandable pride from the extreme irrationality of wanting to be treated badly and humiliated and controlled. I think want My such things is only going to bring derision. It’s the big and understandable barrier to uxos opening up to vanilla people.
You are right of course. The barrier would be a formidable obstacle to be overcome. Nevertheless and over a long period prejudices can be eroded and outcomes can be surprising.
Hey Mistress Scarlet, today I was informed that a femdom legend passed away in a very tragic manner, and as I know you also like her, I think it’s something I should share in case you didn’t know.
Melanie Lynn Berry, known as Barefoot Princess or Obey Melanie was murdered by her husband in November 2023, at 52.
https://gunmemorial.org/2023/11/21/melanie-lynn-berry
https://www.newschannel6now.com/2023/11/23/wfpd-investigates-murder-suicide/
it is believed to have been a case of murder suicide after she filled for divorce of her more than 30 years long partner.
She was a big influence for many people I believe, and her longevity was impressive and I think many saw her relationship as very real and inspiring. I often think that a lot of typical sexist problems wouldn’t happen as much in Femdom relations, but it seems, that they can just as well happen there. Which makes it all even sadder.
either way, I think you should know. Maybe even post an RIP if you feel like
Yes. This was news last December.