A day in the life of Mistress M

Well, following my last post detailing exchanges between myself and Mistress M, she has very kindly sent me a detailed account of a day in the life of her household. I hope you find it interesting and perhaps educational regarding one of the may optional regimen that are possible in a long-term femdom relationship.

Dear Mistress Scarlet,

I’m a bit worried that this is too long. I tried to be as exhaustive as possible so that other women reading this have a basic sense of what a mature, real life femdom relationship can look like. I hope you are doing well and your bitch-boy is appropriately miserable ;)

Here I will describe my slave’s current regimen. I’ve talked about the basic dynamics of our relationship previously, just so that your readers are fully caught up : we’re a couple in our late 20s, my bitch and I have been together for more than a decade, he is my slave husband and as you so succinctly put he ‘always has been, and will always be, a virgin’.

There are no ‘vanilla days’ as such in our lives. When I say that, that doesn’t mean I am in some leather corset weilding a riding crop all the time, what I mean is that there are no moments in our life when bitch is not aware of the fact that he is my slave and I own him. He is naturally submissive and very polite and he knows that he needs to always treat me with the utmost affection and respect. My aim is to create as much discrepancy as possible in the way both of us lead our lives under the same roof with mine being decadent, relaxing and enjoyable while his miserable, laborious and austere . That aim acts as the through line in all of bitch’s daily duties and rules.

Nowhere is that discrepancy more apparent than our wardrobe. While my myriad dresses, tops, bottoms, gymwear, shoes and bags make up almost the entirety of our walk in closet, his stuff can fit in a box. In the house, bitch is allowed to wear only a pair of black boxer briefs. In fact to drive home his slave status I allow him to keep only five or six such pairs (for both work and home) and he has to wear them till they are torn. I search for the cheapest pair and buy them a size or two smaller so that they are uncomfortable and fit snugly around his cage. I hear that a lot of dominant women like to keep their subs/slaves fully naked but I do not like looking at his birth defect. Also I tried feminization once but he got too aroused and I discarded that idea there. Maybe that’s something I’ll revisit in the future. He wears a cb-6000 chastity cage 24×7/365 days (he has been wearing this particular cage for quite some time now and I’m thinking of ordering something smaller, the cb series has a couple of new significantly smaller cages, maybe one of them will be his upcoming birthday present) and a silver chain with a custom inscribed dogtag around his neck. It reads, ‘If lost return to owner’ with my name  below the inscription. Funnily enough, our vanilla friends think it’s very cute. If only they knew…! The chain gets replaced by a thick posture collar with a leash if I’m in the mood to play but that’s not something that happens regularly. The other regular part of his slave attire are black leather wrist and ankle cuffs with different length of chains that get attached to them. The cuffs only come off when he goes to work. Honestly the sight of bitch working tirelessly for me, all sweaty, collared and fettered with his birth defect secured in a cage is a massive turn on. His chores often get interrupted because his skills are needed elsewhere, lol.

His daily chores include waking up at 5 in the morning, dusting the house, steaming the clothes in my closet, ironing any if required (I give instructions before I go to sleep), doing laundry (hand washing if the fabric demands so) and preparing breakfast. He then uses the washroom to take a shower and shave his whole body. He shaves his pubic region once a week during the weekends in my presence because it involves taking his cage off. He wakes me up at around 7:30-8 o’clock with breakfast in hand. A fun thing I have been doing recently, is to take a sip of my morning tea/coffee and complain that it’s either not the right temperature/sweetness & curtly instruct him to go and make me one more cup. When he returns with it I usually order him to put his food away as a punishment and then kneel in the corner. I slowly complete my delicious breakfast, pick a spanking implement from the closet and give my starving bitch a thorough early morning thrashing. It’s very cruel but at the end of the day that’s exactly what he craves, even though in the moment the injustice of it all sometimes brings him to tears.

There’s not much scope for d/s activities for the next several hours as we both get some exercise done and then go to work. I’ll mention a couple of things here. One, our gym has a pool and we go swimming a couple of days every week. To keep him on his toes I make him wear short, tight fitting swimming trunks (very similar to his slave outfit in the house) while I intentionally wear the skimpiest possible swimsuits with the key to his birth defect dangling around my neck. He gets so aroused and scared at the same time that someone will connect the dots between the outline of his cock cage and the key around my neck. I mean if he’s that worried he can always wear a smaller cage, right? He probably will soon. I love making my bitch fret.
Two, I drive to work, he takes public transport. We can easily afford a second car but that is not a privilege a slave deserves.

If he reaches home before me, it’s a part of his duty to draw a bath. I like to soak myself in the tub immediately on returning from work. Also it goes without saying that he cleans after me, so I’ll be throwing off my clothes at the nearby furniture and by the time I’m done bitch has either neatly folded them or put them in the laundry basket. It’s a thing I take for granted these days but my boy really does make life so much easier. Every week at least once he gives me flowers, gourmet snacks, maybe a book I’ve been talking about (and other small gifts like that). He buys them by saving money from his allowance. We flirt, talk about our day, say sweet stuff to each other and do everything other couples do, except he still remains in his slave outfit, cuffed, collared and caged while I wear whatever I want. Romance does not have to die in a femdom relationship, if anything the passion is stronger. bitch is fiercely devoted to me and worships me like a deity and in return I make his deepest fantasies come true. What can be more romantic than that?

Anyways, late in the evening I’ll be usually reading a book or surfing the net while he does mise en place for dinner. His cooking skills have really improved over time to the point where he now makes professional quality meals, it’s a miracle what a combination of regular thrashings and an indomitable desire to please one’s Goddess can achieve! He is allowed to wear a white apron while working in the kitchen. When the dinner preparations are done and we don’t have any residual work, I’ll sit on the sofa in our living room and put on a movie/tv show of my choice while my boy gives me a massage after a long day. If I’m in a good mood I let him worship my feet, sometimes I’ll even rub his cock. He, of course, is in his slave shorts (and obviously caged) and yet even such little stimulation often overwhelms him. I can see it in his face. A lifetime of denial does that to you I guess.
A similar thing happened yesterday, I was nonchalantly rubbing his cock with my left hand while we watched the finale of Obi-Wan Kenobi and bitch made a wheezing sound.
I stopped and paused the tv.
His face fell.
‘What’s the matter bitch? Having a bit too much fun, are we?’
‘No Mistress. I’m sorry Mistress.’
‘Shut up. Strip and kneel before me.’
He did as told. I could see his birth defect straining against the cage and trying its best to break free from its inescapable prison. I yanked it close to me and did a mock examination.
‘Eww, look at your ugly dick trying to grow all big. Hmm, no more rubbing for you this week. I don’t want your balls to hurt.’
‘Thank you Mistress M for thinking of my well being.’
He is such a well trained, broken bitch, haha.
I ruffled his hair and said, ‘Good boy. Now go make me dinner.’
‘But Mistress there’s only a few minutes left in the episode. May I please watch it before going?’
I looked at him with disdain. ‘No. Fuck off.’ He scampered.
The last bit, Ms Scarlet, is a trick I picked up from your journals. Curtly dismissing someone is a huge power rush.

A little side note here, bitch watches whatever I decide. He has ZERO autonomy when it comes to choosing pop culture. He also reads the books I give him. I do allow him some time on the net during the weekends. When we first met in our teens he used to spend a lot of time watching cricket and football. That was one of the first big things I prohibited him from doing when we began this journey. He no longer watches any kind of sport.  Well, if you want to live under the thumb of an amazing Domme, you gotta make a few sacrifices! Besides, he can now use all that time saved to serve me better.
That basically sums up bitch’s daily chores, especially during the weekdays. He does the dishes after dinner and if he’s not being punished he gets to join me in bed after receiving his daily deterrent belt whipping. The shorts, the cock cage, the neck chain and the cuffs : all stay on.

I learned about the concept of deterrent punishments a few years back, Ms Scarlet and it has been a revelation. From my experience the very best time to administer said deterrent is just before bedtime. After a whole day of chores, working out, professional duties and cooking he comes to the bedroom just having finished doing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen. His attractive wife (hehe, some self praise) is there on the matrimonial bed looking cute and sexy after doing her nightly skin routine. My poor boy is exhausted and filled with lust for me and the last thing he wants at that point is a beating. There is no better time for a Mistress to truly show a slave his place. Even after all these years and despite knowing its futile, he will sincerely beg for mercy before these sessions. I of course don’t show any, ask him to fetch me his belt (the psychological impact of using the belt he wears to work really tingles the sadist in me) and assume his position. He resigns to his fate, strips, bends down with his hands on his knees and ass out. I usually give him 25-30 hard strokes. When I’m done he falls to my feet and expresses his wholehearted gratitude.

Another simple punishment is the mouth gag which, I feel, is a tool all wives should have. Whenever he is irritating me or going on an endless rant I have no interest in, I simply ask him to shut up and fetch me his gag. It usually stays on till it’s time for dinner. A slave should know better than to bore his Mistress. He also loses the privilege to share a bed with me if he manages to anger or disappoint me. There’s a small, almost oppressively humid store room where he spends the night in those instances. The punishment technique I deploy liberally for impromptu corrections though is the age old slap. Nothing makes a man more subservient than getting a hard smack across his face for every little transgression.

Finally let us talk about bitch’s sex life. Just kidding, he does not have one! Writing about this now is probably the longest I’ve thought about his sexual needs in a decade. It’s not something on my radar at all. If I need his oral service, I’ll simply tell him or point to my honeypot (that’s what we call my you know what in this household) and like a good little bitch he immediately becomes eager and ready to please. I do peg him from time to time but it’s not a regular occurence. Too much effort and there’s nothing much in it for me, you know? One thing that I do enjoy though is wearing my strap on to humiliate him. bitch is not just a virgin since birth, he has also never had a blowjob : a fact I love to emphasize repeatedly while ramming my rubber penis down his throat.

As you know Ms Scarlet, a couple of huge recent changes in my bitch’s daily regime have been in regards to his orgasm schedule. Previously I let him out of the cage once a month, put a condom on and jerked him off till he came. I hated touching his dick but kind of saw it as a necessary evil. Turns out I was being way too lenient. No more. As of this writing my bitch hasn’t had an orgasm in almost 10 weeks.
Even I don’t know when he’ll get to come next, it all depends on you! It will be only after your bitch boy gets one. This will also give me a good idea of how long he can go without a release. That presumably will be the new gap between his orgasms going forward.

I informed my bitch of this first change and he was expectedly anxious about the uncertainty surrounding his new schedule. I waited a week and let him stew on this new info before telling him of the second change. Poor boy was visibly shocked and started sobbing when he learned that his days of getting a handjob were over and that in the future all of his releases would happen with his birth defect under the sole of my shoes. He became so mopey that I almost felt like changing my mind. I had to remind myself that deep in his soul this was what he truly wanted, a strict, harsh life existing only to serve a pitiless, uncompromising superior being and going back on something like this would only set a bad precedent. 
So when he begged me to reconsider my decision a few days later I reminded him that he had lived all his life without his cock ever feeling the touch of a woman’s pussy or mouth, he’d also learn to live without it ever feeling the touch of a woman’s hand. Besides he should be grateful that I even let him cum at all because one day, if I so wished, that too could be taken away.


Yes, Mistresses do collaborate online

I have been so lucky over the years with, at any one time, usually having a small selection of Mistresses with whom I am in personal correspondence. (I always want more though!) Some drift away and become replaced by others. This provides me an endless education for my own DS relationship as in correspondence we share and swap both DS activities and associated attitudes. A recent correspondent who I adore, is Mistress M. (Her subby is a virgin since birth and will remain so. My bitch-boy was somewhat of a greedy ladies man until he met me and then became a born-again-virgin, (BAV).

I hope it is interesting for me to share a typical period of correspondence; in this case with Mistress M. I do feel she and I are peas out of the same pod. If only she wasn’t half way round the world from me! bringing together such a blog post is quite time consuming and tricky. Thankfully I have a slave for such tasks!

The Correspondence

A comment from M

Dear Ms Scarlet, this is M, bitch’s mistress wife. I would love to implement what you have, with your slave where he gets to cum only under the sole of your shoe. I’m just worried if bitch will be able to cum like that and if there’s a risk of injury. Otherwise the bottom of my shoe sounds like the perfect place for bitch’s birth defect.

Response from Mistress Scarlet

I have been using this method for a few years now. There has been zero damage. There are plenty of videos of this activity on Twitter and BDSMLR if you need guidance.


Part of a blog post from Mistress Scarlet

……….It is an interesting issue but after I pondered on it, I felt neither a virgin nor a BAV is in a position to say which is worse. I 100% accept all of your suffering reasons, like my puppet. But there are suffering reasons the virgin has, that you do not. 1. Imagining what it must feel like and probably getting it quite right, as to what they are missing. 2. Knowing that, whereas a BAV at least experienced penetrating a woman, probably hundreds of times at least before coming a BAV, a virgin has to deal with how they will never experience penetrating a woman, not even once, for a second.
We can never know the answer, but I am guessing each is suffering to a huge degree.

A comment from M

I completely agree. I cannot even count the number of times my bitch has broken into full-on sobbing just seeing me get into a sexy dress or try on some cute new underwear. My hypothesis is that every time he sees me as an object of desire he is reminded of his virginity and the fact that he will forever remain so and the finality of that is excruciating and that’s something that never eases.


Part of a blog post from Mistress Scarlet

As of today, bitch-boy has gone 10 weeks, not just without an orgasm, but without even an erection. Now we have some nice weather, that miserable state for him is made worse because, like during the full-on DS day yesterday, I spend a good deal of time, naked but for my seven-inch heeled platform shoes and my gold waist chain on which hangs the little keys to his chastity tube and other fetters. Oh, and my very thin Brazilian. I also like to do full make-up and hair on such days. Though I say so myself, I look a million dollars $$$$$$$$$$.

A comment from M

Thank you for the update on bb’s current denial status Ms Scarlet. I am playing a little mind game with my bitch, I have informed him that he will only get his next release after bitch-boy gets one. Of course his denial period started late, so it has been 4 and a half weeks but this is a big step up from his usual once a month schedule. Also when it happens, it will be under the sole of my shoe for the first time (another thing inspired by you!) and I have told him that if I like it, that will be the only way he gets a release going forward. Needless to say he has been miserable and even more subservient this month.

Part of a blog post from Mistress Scarlet

………Further to my previous post on this topic, As of today, bitch-boy has gone over 12 weeks, not just without an orgasm, but without even an erection.


…… One of the four things he must recite after he has been Mistress’s Little Helper each time I have had a massive orgasm, is, ‘Thank you for sharing your physical sexual arousal Mistress, so I don’t need to have any physical sexual arousal.

I can see just how tormented he is, not even being allowed an erection, while his sexual denial frustration is soooo intense and he is faced with such arousal sources! He looks like I imagine he feels; utterly helpless and totally impotent.

A comment from M

Thank you for the update Ms Scarlet. I don’t know if you remember but I left a comment on your last post on this topic about how I’m keeping my bitch orgasm free till yours gets one. Ever since, I have seen him regularly check your blog hoping for updates, lol. He was so disappointed today when he informed me of your latest update, it’s been around 7 weeks without an orgasm for him and its probably the longest he has ever gone without one ever in his life. His begging for release has really grown in sincerity and frequency and that makes it even more fun to say NO to his face.

P.S. I’d love to write about a day in our lives and bitch’s daily regimen. Writing about his ‘forever virgin’ status last time was rather fun and it involved me teasing him a lot about the things he finds deeply humiliating that’d be included in the account. Should I write it as a comment on this post?

P.P.S. This is slightly out of topic but I think this might interest you, I’ve read a few blog posts from you in the past where you talk about femdom depiction in modern pop culture. I don’t know if you are aware of it but there’s a show called ‘The Boys’ (it’s quite good and is on Amazon Prime Video) whose latest season has had quite a few such scenes. It’s one of the biggest shows in the world right now and it was a bit of a thrill to see them. I must add that the show is quite heightened and fantastical, so the scenes are not really grounded.

Response from Mistress Scarlet

Thank you for the comment.
I feel privilege and amused that I am withholding orgasm from two puppets at the same time!
I will send you my email address for you to send me an account of a day in your lives.
I will have a look at ‘The Boys’. Thank you for the tip.

A comment from M

To be fair it is my bitch who’s the most lucky that this time he has not just one, but two dominant women sort of deciding when his birth defect gets some attention. Way more than a slave deserves!
I don’t know how I can get your email address though, is it on the blog somewhere?

Response from Mistress Scarlet

You are so right. How many subs would dream of being dominated by TWO amazing Dommes! Seems like such a treat it should be balanced off with a harsh punishment so he does not feel spoiled.

A comment from M

That is an excellent idea. My bitch is still at work, I’ll inform him of his punishment when he comes home. Maybe 10-15 minutes of belt whipping once, as soon as he arrives, and one more time before bed tonight. Just so that he doesn’t get spoiled of course!

My apologies for typing in the wrong email id earlier. I’ll send you an account of my sub’s daily regime as soon as I get some free time. Hope you have a wonderful day! 


Prologue to this blog post

As of today, poor, poor bitch-boy has gone 13 weeks without erection or orgasm, so M’s bitch has been punished for the privilege of having two chastity Mistresses and has gone 9 and half weeks. (His previous longest denial period having been one month!)

Two new real-life accounts

My request for real-life accounts is proving quite rewarding. Here are two to start with.

Account 1

Thank You for Your very generous invitation to male subs and slaves to discuss the regime they live under.

i am currently unowned, although i do long to be owned again, to be trained by and to nearby to serve, a very strict dominant woman again.

My previous Owner kept my caged 24/7. Release from my tube for cleaning, shaving and inspection occurred weekly with my Owner always wearing heavy rubber gloves. She did permit any flesh to ever come into contact with what She referred to as the gristle that hangs between my legs. I was more than a BAV!

She was very capricious regarding when i was released to spill my filth, but I never averaged more than 4 orgasms per year while She owned me. Every orgasm i was allowed was ruined and i was required to eat my issue after each session. i never once entered Her and She regularly explained to me that while She owned me i would never be sexually pleased by any woman in any fashion.

Owner experienced a minimum of 20 orgasms per week. The majority of these were the result of my performing oral on Her. Otherwise She used Her hitachi wand.

i did live with Her for the second half of the four years that we were together. These were the most arduous years of my life, and i Miss them.

i did all the chores and house work.

i wasn’t dressed in shame clothing per se, but i was not permitted to wear male undergarments. my Owner preferred t-backs and G-strings for me.

Several of Her closest friends knew of our FLR. i was occasionally loaned out to one such friend, for domestic and sexual duties.

Humbly Yours;

slave mark

Account 2

Dear Mistress Scarlett,

Our lifestyle may be of some interest to your readers, it is still developing, since I introduced my partner to your guide & blog a few years ago. At this time I shall not go into how we got here, just how life is now.

I am kept locked in a chastity device as much as is practically possible, sometimes due to my work, I am allowed to have days off, but I am not allowed to orgasm, ever.
I have been orgasm free for just over two years & do not expect this to change any time soon. I would very much like to be allowed an orgasm, but L has decided that I’m not allowed any ever. This was in part due to me experiencing a severe drop in submissiveness post orgasm.
I had been denied orgasms for 18 months when L announced that it was to become permanent, I was crushed, I never expected such cruelty. She very much likes reminding me that “little sissy’s aren’t allowed sexual relief.”

I am responsible for the housework & have to do this, to the highest standards, in sissy maid attire, if faults are found the whole days work must be redone. Fortunately this is very infrequent, as on the occasions standards have slipped, L makes sure that the second go is far harder than the first, by adding restrictive chains, a butt plug & gag. The knowledge that I’ll have to redo everything if it’s not good enough is normally enough to make sure it’s perfect. Having had to scrub the floors with a toothbrush with a humbler on, because they were not mopped well enough, on top of redoing the dusting, vacuuming etc is a pretty good deterrent. I am always very nervous when the inspection takes place, because even though I check everything multiple times sometimes I still miss the odd thing. Sometimes L seems delighted to find a few faults.

On a day to day basis I have a strict set of rules to live by, and am subjected to weekly tedious tasks, these are long enough to require work every evening & must be done while dressed as a little girl. Tasks have been various over the years, from thousands of lines, to jigsaws. I hate jigsaws, especially as sometimes I get home to find large sections I had done have been dismantled. Sewing miles of lace trim onto things, which eventually became petticoats for me to wear was very humiliating on several levels, having to spend hours, in a dress, at the sewing machine, assisting with making more humiliating clothing was probably the worst task so far.

Breaking the rules, failing to progress tasks enough etc result in me recieving harsh punishments. These include things like, whipping, hours of sensory deprivation being strung up on spreaders with nettles in my knickers…

L likes to keep me extremely submissive & we have discovered over the years that locking me in sissy dresses is the most effective way to do this, so I spent a lot of my free time like this.
When dressed I have to mince, holding my skirts out at my sides & curtsying whenever entering an occupied room, or if L enters a room I am in, I must stop whatever I am doing and curtsey. I am very humiliated and she mocks me for being so pathetic to submit to the disgracing. A couple of weeks ago I forgot one curtsey & was subjected to 20 minutes of filmed curtsying practice per evening for a week, this footage is to be joined up & played back to me in one go over the weekend.

L likes sex, I have to satisfy her using whether she is in the mood for, be it my hands, tongue, toys, or penetrating her with a strap on. I particularly hate the latter, as it reminds me of everything she has taken from me.

I am very lucky to have found someone who has embraced this lifestyle & accepted me for the submissive I am. Your writings have given her the confidence to take control & make sure I am kept well & truly in my place.

Yours M.



MY latest account!

My latest journal seems to be very popular.

It is published and available on Lulu.com as a PAPERBACK and an ePub.

It is also available as a Kindle book on AMAZON.


It may well now be available in Barnes and Noble, Nook, iTunes books, etc.

Below is the Introduction used in the journal:

This journal includes in its title the words, ‘no leniency’, as will all future journals. I mentioned in my last journal that, for whatever reason or reasons, I profoundly evolved through the two-year period of the Covid lockdown. That evolution eradicated from the deepest corners of my mind any remaining shreds of leniency and uncertainty I ever had for my slave husband, while pursuing the most fulsome, decadent, wicked pleasure. He and I still share hours of vanilla time together each week because, when I desire it, I adore his vanilla company. However one very significant change is that there really are no such things as wholly vanilla days now.

In the 22 January 2022 entry, later in this journal, I set out in detail some of the attributes of my regimen that are 24/7/365 and so affect my puppet throughout what used to be wholly ‘vanilla’ days. There are chains always padlocked around each of his ankles and a metal collar padlocked around his neck, his tiny chastity tube double padlocked on, obviously. He can bathe and shower in all these items. The cane and whips are on a hook in the sitting room often brought briefly into action for a number of reasons, or just because I can. I have him bend over and hold his ankles to receive between ten and twenty hard strokes of the cane or dressage whip. That is quite often followed by me on my own, bringing myself off, or having him help me do so in his role of Mistress’s-Little-Masturbation-Helper, driving home the huge difference between my lavish, satisfying and abundant sex-life, and his frustrating, frugal and barren one.

There is one activity used on both vanilla days and full-on DS days, (Domination/Submission days) that is particularly cruel. Using a cotton bud to apply a nasty balm through some of the holes in his chastity tube. Penis discomfort without even the compensation of becoming erect. Minor discomfort if it is only two of the holes, rather more discomfort if it is all ten.  

Secondly, coming to full-on DS days, one profound change is, he more often than not, endures full-on DS days without for a moment being allowed out of his tiny chastity tube. Not a ‘sex-game’ for him. Not even the compensation of a brief erection. What he endures during full-on DS days is also a great deal more than ever before. Be it the levels of humiliation and or tedium, or sexual frustration, or physical pain levels. The following journal entries bear testimony to that! Deterrent punishments at the beginning of full-on DS days evolve during the period covered by this journal and are a good example. No longer is it just his butt and hips, with wraparound, well-marked with cane and dressage whip, but EVERY TIME now, the backs of his thighs AND the fronts of his thighs are well marked by the agitation whip too. I want the pleasure of seeing he is well-marked when he is facing me too, not just when he is facing away from me!

He made a huge mistake during the many step-change moments of my recent evolution because he did not, or perhaps could not, hide how his awe of me and worship of me increased with each step-change. Each step-change also brought me a significantly increased sense of decadent pleasure and contentment, and of self-esteem that I could be, ‘so bad’. In the gaps between suffering, I could tell he was and is more content than ever before. This, (probably subconscious), response of his to my increased cruelty, filled me with a sense of liberation and freedom that there was no practicable limit I could reach. My ‘badness’ was not limited by anything but my requirement for maintaining his physical health and wellbeing. I could be as ‘bad’ as I wanted to be and there was no downside; so spontaneously things spiralled; up for me, down for him. I gave him the choice; domination my way, which means I will do whatever I damn well please, or no domination at all. He could not face, no domination at all, so here we are!

There is now just about nothing, as long as it does not adversely affect his physical health and wellbeing that I do not consider experimenting with. The options are wide open for so called, ‘extreme’ things I would have ruled out before my evolution, without really thinking properly about why I was.

So this is the first of a new generation of journals, dear reader, and my life is the most wonderful it has ever been; and it seems his submissive contentment, (when not suffering), is the deepest that has ever been.

Two things

Update on the post of May 29.

Further to my previous post on this topic, As of today, he has gone over 12 weeks, not just without an orgasm, but without even an erection.

Now we have some nice weather, that miserable state for him is made worse because, like during the full-on DS day yesterday, I spend a good deal of time, naked but for my seven-inch heeled platform shoes and my gold waist chain on which hangs the little keys to his chastity tube and other fetters. Oh, and my very narrow, perfect Brazilian. I also like to do full make-up and hair on such days. Though I say so myself, I look a million dollars $$$$$$$$$$. He is truly almost in tears when I add some ‘posing’ to how I look! One of the four things he must recite after he has been Mistress’s Little Helper each time I have had a massive orgasm, is, ‘Thank you for sharing your physical sexual arousal Mistress, so I don’t have to have any physical sexual arousal.

I can see just how tormented he is, not even being allowed an erection, while his sexual denial frustration is soooo intense and he is faced with such arousal sources! He looks like I imagine he feels; utterly helpless and totally impotent.

Silent blog followers – send me your lifestyle regimens

Quite often, I have periods of being pleasantly overwhelmed by full or partial accounts sent to me describing the lifestyles of those in a DS relationship, or describing a past DS relationship. Sometimes these come from the sub, sometimes, and most popular, from the Domme. This post is an invitation if it is a while since you have sent me anything, or if you have never sent me anything.

I began this blog because my original inspirations for my own lifestyle both effectively dried up and I could find nothing else on the web that was primarily dominant women corresponding on REAL LIFE domination. I wanted vanilla women to be reading such material as I had from dominant women loving their lives by dominating their submissive life-partner and describing what they did in this regard. The two sources of material were; Madame magazine (a hardcopy) publication and, Petticoated.com which changed ownership and the content became irrelevant.

Wonderful bespoke art

I have before posted about the wonderfully evocative art of sissymaid1973. I am not sure I have mentioned on this blog that, generously, sissymaid1973 offered to produce art to my exact specifications, to represent real scenes in my life. he has done so. They were very good but not perfect, as that would have taken pages of specifications. So for my great amusement and bitch-boy’s shame, I had him trace the bespoke drawings that were produced, correct the elements that did not exactly represent my life and then colour-in those amended versions. They are framed and on show in my home all the time we are free of vanilla visitors. I provide an example below.


sissymaid1973’s version of the first drawing

The amended version

So funny as my parody of a sissy little girl worked away, to keep reminding it when the drawing was finished and perfect, it would be framed and on display for all to see. And it now is. (I know it is somewhat lewd and far from fine art but I love it and the production process.

There is another drawing with me in my swing seat and my boot on my bitch’s throat and another, which is a split screen image of me thrashing my puppet as he is bound stretched out on the bed. Shot 1, face down, shot 2 face up having the fronts of his thighs well-marked.

Update, and dilute the nectar?

29 May 2022

Before moving onto the issue of whether nectar should be diluted, I will provide an update on the tribulations of my human toy, bitch-boy.


As of today, he has gone 10 weeks, not just without an orgasm, but without even an erection. Now we have some nice weather, that miserable state for him is made worse because, like during the full-on DS day yesterday, I spend a good deal of time, naked but for my seven-inch heeled platform shoes and my gold waist chain on which hangs the little keys to his chastity tube and other fetters. Oh, and my very thin Brazilian. I also like to do full make-up and hair on such days. Though I say so myself, I look a million dollars $$$$$$$$$$.

Yesterday with the weather being a little hit and miss, I alternated between having us outdoors or being in the very hot conservatory when thick clouds occasionally visited. So he is visually teased, he is deeply humiliated in his shame clothing and activities – (which I won’t expand on here), his whippings are pretty extreme now, (normally three in a day), he sees and/or helps me with numerous intense orgasms and unsurprisingly, he looks profoundly and miserably impotent and desperate. I feel so profoundly decadent and pitiless. I LOOOOOVE it!

Yesterday’s events brings me onto a question.

Should nectar be diluted?

I received the following question.

I hope that You do not mind me asking, but I notice from your blog and journal that You usually dilute your nectar before gifting it to bb. Is this to make it palatable, to increase the volume or to help ensure that his body gets sufficient “usable” fluids during long sessions? Thank You.

Here is my answer.

Firstly I will say that I drink a lot of water. I believe staying hydrated is very important for health, particularly good skin, digestion and for the immune system. This means my nectar is a light colour and works well as a hydration liquid even on its own.

One 24/7/365 DS rule of mine is that bitch-boy must ensure there is always be a clean jug next to the toilet every morning. On a DS day that is where ALL my nectar goes. I match him consuming it with me filling it throughout the day. I have my bitch watch as I prepare one of the many sippy-cup full’s of nectar he must drink each full-on DS day. First I tip nectar into the sippy-cup, leaving space for clean, fresh water. Here is the rub though. Sometimes it is half filled with nectar so a 50/50 mix. This still tastes a little ‘off’ but carries the full psychological degradation that he is drinking my urine. Other times I fill the sippy-cup almost to the very top, and then add just a few drops of clean water. The taste is then very ‘off’ indeed, making worse the psychological degradation. (More often than not, the mix is topped off with my spit.)

One reason I use this variable mix approach is it amuses me. I make sure he is watching as I prepare his drink. I know he is hoping and hoping I will stop pouring in the nectar before it gets really high. I laugh at his sound of horror when half the times, it goes almost to the very top of the sippy-cup. The other reason I use this approach is to prevent habituation. If I used undiluted nectar all the time, he would get habituated to that and it would lose some of its impact. With my approach, he is very miserable with the 50/50 mix anyway, but then deeply, deeply miserable when he gets a 98% nectar/2% water mix. Habituation is a big enemy of the Domme in a long term DS relationship!

An associated matter is; I do love to piss ON HIM. We have a walk-in shower, lots of hotel rooms have walk-in showers, and we have the garden on warm days like yesterday. Yesterday, when I was really desperate to go, I had him on his back, naked but for his chastity tube. I tell him to open his mouth, he does so and shuts his eyes tight, which amuses me. Then I piss on him. In his mouth, on his face, soaking his hair, on his chest, on his stomach. I feel such a sense of ownership and bitchy-power. I OWN this creature, I can piss on him at my whim, marking my ‘territory’. He HATES it. He is coughing and spluttering and getting in quite a state while I am relaxed and amused as he gets his golden shower. When I have finished, I of course ask the question, ‘What do you say maggot?‘ His answer is a rather sullen and miserable, ‘Thank you Mistress.’ That does make me laugh.

Nectar-ice pacifier

Well the summer is here for those of us in the Northern hemisphere. I have suggested in the past a great humiliation for subs is to have them suck on a home-made ice pop, or ice lolly, made with 100% nectar. Lots of places sell the products required to make home-made ice lollies.

But they are a little messy and a bib is needed and hands get sticky and the usage options become a little limited, especially indoors.

Well, a little while ago, a great suggestion came my way. It can be purchased on Amazon.

Two or three nectar ice cubes can be placed in the net and the sub can suck away without there being any mess. I will be having bitch-boy suck away while he is doing the most menial chores in the garden on his hands and knees, while I relax in my swing seat. I have him weed borders to perfection, edge the lawn with scissors, pick moss growing within plants, remove pebbles from beds, etc. It looks like his head harness will be ideal for locking the pacifier in place.

If I want it to be worse for him, I can have him dressed in his full-on parody of a little girl outfit and suck on his pacifier while, for instance, pushing his dollies around in the toy pushchair, showing them the pwetty flowerth.

And a favourite summer activity of mine. He has to get up onto the conservatory glass roof with hose and bowl and clean the glass to perfection, while I am in the very hot conservatory, naked but for heels and golden waist-chain, (on which dangle his chastity tube and fetters keys). He looks down as I ignore him, lazing around naked, occasionally bringing myself off with my Lelo Sila.

As of today, he has gone over eight weeks now, not only NOT HAVING AN ORGASM, but also, NOT EVEN HAVING AN ERECTION. Even on the full-on DS days over this period, his little birth defect has been all locked up in its tiny tube. To get my fix of dickie-discipline I have been using a cotton bud , loaded with Linnex wax into the holes in the tube I had him drill. Going by his sobbing, it is very effective!

Finally, he can be sucking on the pacifier while doing the ironing and lots of other indoor chores. I will report on the pacifier use as soon as it arrives.


My latest journal is available on Lulu.com as a PAPERBACK and an ePub.

It is also available as a Kindle book on AMAZON.


In due course it will be available in Barnes and Noble, Nook, iTunes books, etc.

Wives become dominant

Below are two wonderful, real-life accounts. They are wonderful as far as I am concerned, because my overriding goal from my my online presence and one of my publications, is to get more wives of submissive males to try REAL dominance. These two accounts are two of my successes. Most specifically by online presence, I reference: My alternative website, LINK 1, LINK 2, and this section of this blog LINK.

Account 1

Dear Ms. Scarlet,

First I must thank you for your “How to introduce your wife to femdom” articles. And I cannot thank you enough. I apologise for somewhat lengthy post but please allow me to give some background.

My wife and I have been married for 21 years. I’m 46, she is 47. I have been a submissive for as long as I remember but really got into the scene around 2008. I started visiting professional dominatrix in 2008 I’m Bangkok, Mumbai, Tokyo, Singapore, Toronto, Berlin…you get the idea. I have been in corporate sales for 20 years so I got a chance to travel. I am an extrovert, very Type An Alpha personality, usually the centre of attraction. My wife is exactly the opposite. Quiet, reserved and thanks to your blog, I now know she is a sadist who loves inflicting pain.

About 6 years ago, I actually asked her to be my KeyHolder as I started experimenting with chastity. We tried a few times in last 6 years to get to a Dome/sub dynamics but it would always splutter and stop.

One month ago we started seeing a Therapist on my insistence. The fact is that we love each other amd enjoy our company but sex, or lack there of, was becoming an issue. To cut a long story short, the visits helped us communicate and your blog helped me share by deepest desires to my wife. She was open and we tried to stay away from judging each other. I have now understood what FLR means. In the past I was topping from the bottom and therefore we never took off.

My wife has really taken to your blog and has been reading it regularly over last month. She helped me understand that I am a what you call a “born submissive “. We followed your advice on her asking, “How did it make you feel?” as opposed to “did you like it?”.

It turns out my wife’s favourite activities it seems are inspired by you. I am in a chastity cage, without knowing if and when I will be allowed a release. She loves caning and spanking. She wants to get to a stage of me sobbing and pleading. I have never reached there. I am not a masochist and while enjoy impact play, but not at the level she wants. I truly hate it in the moment, but love the feeling I get when later ,’my head hits the pillow’ :)

Yesterday she tried DeepHeat for the first time. I must say I have NEVER felt this kind of pain. As she used her hands in latex gloves to tease me after applying 2 coats on my head, I could see the twinkle in her eyes as I was begging her to not touch me. I normally call her Ma’am during play but I was calling her by her “love name” as I was begging for it to stop. It took about 20 mins and I HATED it, but I felt so so submissive. While having a whiskey later, we talked and we both loved it. She did because I felt real pain and she could see it in my eyes. She’s hooked and I am terrified of more Deep Heat discipline. I am now doing almost all the chores. I give her a foot massage every evening. She’s using her body to tease me a lot. I’ve never wanted her more. You are right in that a true submissive needs a pitiless domme who does not consider “if the sub likes it”. I hope my wife writes to you one day. We cannot thank you enough.

Best Regards,


Account 2

Sorry for the delayed response.

Our relationship was kind of boring and vanilla, we had a but of kinky fun but nothing more than a nylon hood or some under-the-bed cuffs. It was always her being the sub. Without divulging too many details, we both read your “tempt her to try” article and agreed that I don’t do enough housework. The next day she had ordered a maid outfit, butt plug and chastity device. Going for cheap options at first to see if her new “hobby” was a good fit.

Luckily for me, I am blessed in the trouser department, the chastity devices just would not fit, lube and coercion was not helping. So instead she makes me wear her knickers 24/7. When I am at work I am allowed to wear cycle shorts over them so no one else can see.

Then she finally found a device that would work. More of a steel pouch with a closable lid. The very moment the padlock clicked on she announced “I will NEVER be tied up again. You won’t ever tell me what housework to do. Outside you are your own man, but in this home YOU ARE MY BITCH, now go make me a cup of tea

I am now chaste, hardworking in the home, can actually give good head (before she lacked the confidence to tell me my skills were lacking – now she tells me exactly how to do it right) my screen time is now managed to “no screens when mistress is in the house”

Oh and the other day she was inspired by you to leave me in sensory deprivation bondage while she relaxed with a film. When the film was over she left me in silence and darkness for another hour while she played with herself in the next room.

The life you have built for your slave sounds far too extreme for me. I only hope my beautiful wife doesn’t becomes any more inspired by you and bitch boys antics!

Anyway, we are both much happier with the new arrangement, I am no longer lazy and she is no longer lacking self confidence. Both good things to have.

Thank you for your thoughts and reccomendations.

Volume 19, some readers’ comments


Below are some comments on my latest Journal, No. 19. My very sincere thanks to the kind people who make the effort to provide me with a positive comment, or a review on Amazon Kindle or Lulu. It is so useful to get positive feedback to counterbalance the demotivating craziness sometimes experienced. (Examples from past journals include: ‘2 stars because it took ages to be delivered’. or, ‘2 stars because it was not what I expected.’!)


Hello Mistress Scarlet.

Thank you for another amazing account of real life female domination. We are spoilt to have another one of your journals so soon and thank you for sharing your insights into the wonderful life you and bitch-boy live in perfect symbiosis.

I know you use the adage “Be careful watch you wish for” to tease bitch-boy about his current sex-free, blowjob-free and handjob-free life he now lives after introducing you to female domination all those years ago but I also think bitch-boy should be specific about what he wishes for as well. For over a decade he has been wishing and pleading to be allowed to penetrate/fuck your beautiful body even if it were for just a few moments each year.

You have finally relented to his pleadings and giving him far more than he ever wished for as you now, on a regular basis instruct him to position himself between your thighs and penetrate you until you orgasm. Instead of joy and delight his initial reaction on being instructed to penetrate you was sadness and sobbing.

Perhaps how should have specified that when he desired to fuck your beautiful body that it be with “his” penis and not as Mistress’s Little Masturbation Helper whilst holding a vibrator whilst humiliatingly dressed with his cock locked away in a tight, pink chastity cage unable to achieve an erection and so sexually desperate.


I was very surprised when I saw the chapter heading “Mistress in the gynaecological stirrups?????” It is fair to say that you both experience intense sensations between your legs whilst in the stirrups but they just happen to be on opposite sides on the pain/pleasure spectrum. I guess opposites really do attract. Yet another perfect balance………..


Thank you and thank you again for all the time and effort you put into your journals, they truly are fantastic. Hope the 2 of you are going well.


oh yes Ms Scarlet – this boy always buys your new Journals as soon as you say they are available and ‘already’ as he dived in and discovered your interactions and visit to see Mistress Lynne in the first chapters – the mercilessness shown to her sub, led to my comment of ‘utterly fretfully awesome’. This boy paces himself when reading your Journals, and re-reads each section, to ensure in his initial excited reading, that he doesn’t miss anything and so he doesn’t reach the end too soon!


5.0 out of 5 stars An incredibly journey into a real Female Led Relationship Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2022

Verified Purchase

Another wonderful peek into Ms Scarlet’s and her husband bb’s world of dominance and submission. While a casual BDSM practitioner might cringe at Ms Scarlet’s treatment of bb, it is a relationship many submissive men envy. I can’t help but feel so many emotions as I try to put myself in his place, and while I feel sincere pity for him, I can’t help but to feel incredible awe of her (Her level of sadism ratchets up with each journal and blog entry)…yet would do anything to be in his place.

She has a wonderful writing style and could easily find myself reading the book in one sitting, however I force myself to put it down after each entry and savor this incredible journey; one many can’t understand, but which she has embraced, controls, and enjoys with such incredible pleasure. This journal epitomizes the term “Be careful for what you wish”, yet still feeds the fire of my desire for it.
Well done.


My latest journal is now published and available on Lulu.com as a PAPERBACK and an ePub.

It is also available as a Kindle book on AMAZON.


In due course it will be available in Barnes and Noble, Nook, iTunes books, etc.