Total denial for the over 30s?

Well my post of 23 March raised the question of whether total denial of ejaculations has an adverse effect on prostate health, or is it simply a widely repeated myth. I included excerpts of two research reports which were ambiguous on the matter. There were quite a few comments on the post including one which supplied another research report.

TO ME, THE MOST INTERESTING ISSUE COMING OUT OF ALL THREE REPORTS was; it seems that once a male is over 30, ejaculations may well no longer be relevant to a healthy prostate, (even if ejaculations earlier in life may be).



Many of us Dommes have subs who are over 30, over 40, over 50, or even over 60! Is the ejaculation future rather bleak for them now? It would be wonderful to find yet more research reports that cover the issue of ejaculations for males over 30 years old having a benefit, or no benefit, to prostate health !

Below are summaries of the three research report extracts.

……………The studies ………. both report that a high frequency of ejaculation early in adulthood has the greatest [beneficial] impact on [lowering] the risk of prostate cancer decades later, they call attention to the role of events early in life, when the prostate is developing and maturing…………

…………………. a 2003 study from Australia found that males who frequently ejaculated when they were younger appeared to have a reduced rate of prostate cancer later in life…..

A report from the Health Professionals Follow-Up Study [found]  ………………… the incidence of prostate cancer was significantly reduced for men having more than 21 ejaculations per month between the ages 20 to 29 years [old] ……………..


Lock Down Activities (No. 2)

Number 2, of my suggestions for lockdown activities is the use of a collar on your subbie. The collar kept on as close as possible to 24/7 use.

With no visitors and no attending social functions, you may find you can keep a collar on your subbie 24 hours a day for many, many consecutive days. I have for bitch-boy a rubber collar that can be padlocked on. As it is rubber he can bath and shower in it so it need not be removed even for washing.

I padlock it on fairly loose so it rests at the bottom of his neck and that means it can be hidden by slightly high necked sweaters, or fleeces. So even if a delivery person arrives at our door or I have sent him out to work on our front garden (yard), he can continue to wear it.

You may not have a BDSM collar designed for padlocking on. It is however possible to padlock on almost any collar; by slipping a padlock hasp through the hole in the collar strap that follows the hole you used to secure the buckle. So a plain old dog collar can be used. The image below shows what I mean as it is quite hard to explain.


Emotions for me

I get a delightful little power rush whenever I see his collar locked onto him. Even in vanilla periods, if he is naked for some reason, seeing it on him together with his chastity device is simply divine. Free effortless, power-pleasure.

Emotions for the sub

I think the collar’s 24/7 imposition is quite subjugating for bitch-boy. The feel of it ALL THE TIME. The image of it, WHENEVER he sees himself in a mirror.  And having it padlocked on seems to have a VERY BIG extra effect. Do use a padlock if you can!



For info on my own BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.


Innocent Images?

Just a very light hearted post arising from me thinking about the shame of how I have to avoid posting images of BDSM or nudity because I do not want the slightest possibility of my blog getting deleted by WordPress.

I wondered, looking at the images on my femdom  BDSMLR site, how minimal an image could be yet still invoke BDSM thoughts in us, while a vanilla person would see nothing to do with eroticism. I stood over bitch-boy while he went to work with Photoshop under my instruction.

Do these fit the bill? Do they inspire your imagination with BDSM thoughts and scenarios? Would a vanilla person see eroticism or simply be confused or bored by each image? Is it even possible for us to put ourselves into the mind of a vanilla person. I do not think it is possible.








Just a reminder about my new Guide entirely written to help entice vanilla women into trying domination. Further details HERE.  There is also my alternative blog; again entirely written to help entice vanilla women into trying domination.


Lock Down Activities (No. 1)

I thought I would share some ideas of activities to pass the time for those enduring stay-at-home lock down. I may post one or two ideas per week unless people have enough to do.

Toilet Roll Lines

First I have to chuckle as I write the word, toilet, when I think how this might be received by my US blog followers. A country that seems fine to use the word, shit, very frequently, (your shitting me, bull-shit, etc.), but shies away from the word, toilet! (Preferring, rest room – for a room with no bed, sofa or chair, or bathroom for a room with no bath). The room the rest of the world calls, the toilet, les toilettes, die Toilette, het toilet, el inodoro, etc. Anyway; enough teasing of my lovely US blog followers!

I mentioned toilet roll lines in my Journal No. 9 and in a blog post of July 2015. (I hope I am not boring people who recall the mentions and that there are followers for whom this will be new.)

Now the UK is in lock-down, as an extra activity to keep bitch-boy subjugated and occupied, and an extra recompense for me enduring lock down, I have brought back a regime of toilet roll lines.

The perfect writing implement must be used, (bitch-boy uses a very fine felt pen that has to be applied with just the right pressure). The regime is that he must make sure any toilet roll sheet I use has a line written on it. (I will give examples of the lines I require in a moment.) Each toilet roll must be unrolled a bit at a time by bitch-boy and a line written on each sheet. After enough sheets have been written on that might be used by me that day, then the sheets must be very carefully and neatly rolled back up.

If you have three toilets in the house then three rolls must each have at least say, 30 sheets with a line on. One roll for each toilet. And first thing in the morning, before I wake, EVERY DAY, bitch-boy must make sure each toilet roll has 30 sheets with a line written on. It is pretty hard to write the lines without ripping the paper. A tedious, degrading, never ending task and all that work simply gets flushed away. (He uses his own toilet rolls so he does not flush his work away himself.)

A typical lines would be one of these:

  • It is an honour to serve and to suffer.
  • I am a pathetic sissy little girl Mistress.
  • I worship and adore you cruel Mistress.
  • Please make me very miserable today.
  • Please thrash me to tears today Mistress.
  • Please deny me relief today Mistress.
  • belindakins loves playing with her dollies.

I pick one of the lines for one toilet and a different line for the other. From time to time, at my whim I change to a different line. Obviously during every visit to the toilet I get a little power rush and a feeling of pitiless decadence as I rip written-on sheets from the roll, use them and then flush away all that work without a care in the world. And if the line is, Please make me very miserable today, or, Please thrash me to tears today, well sometimes I do as I have been asked, just because I have been asked!

I don’t know what its like outside the UK, but here there have been endless images on TV news and social media of selfish, despicable people bulk buying toilet rolls for a stockpile, despite the fact that there is not and will not be a shortage. I however see such an image and simply think of poor bitch-boy’s task and how much more precious my toilet roll is than the stockpilers!

When I used this routine for a while in 2015 through 2016, there was a constant issue  of squirrelling away the written-on rolls should a vanilla visitor turn up. Quite a stress. So I ended the regime. But now, with zero visitors! Well it is the perfect time to have brought back the toilet roll lines regime!


My 16th journal –  LINK






toilet roll

Total denial, yes/no?

It seems from some recent exchanges that the, often talked about  – prostate cancer risk reduction through regular ejaculations, is coming under question by Mistresses who follow this blog. I found an article, dated 7 October 2019 in Medical News Today. I have pasted it below. It seems to me genetics and diet might play the most important role.

Before that though, here  is a very interesting conclusion from The Harvard Medical School

……………The studies from the United States and Australia do little to answer these critical questions — but they do open a new avenue for research. Since both report that a high frequency of ejaculation early in adulthood has the greatest impact on the risk of prostate cancer decades later, they call attention to the role of events early in life, when the prostate is developing and maturing. 

Does anyone have anything more helpful than that above or below? (To be clear, I do not want any links to articles that fail to add something useful to what is presented in this post!)

Frequent ejaculation and prostate cancer risk

from: Medical New Today

The prostate gland that plays an important role in ejaculation. Many people believe that ejaculating frequently can help reduce the risk of prostate cancer.

The prostate gland is a small, walnut shaped gland that produces the fluid in semen and helps push this fluid out during ejaculation.

Excluding skin cancerprostate cancer is the most common cancer among males in the United States. In fact, around 1 in 9 men will receive a diagnosis of prostate cancer at some point in their lives.

Because prostate cancer is so widespread, it is important to know and understand the risk factors.

This article explores whether or not frequent ejaculation can reduce the risk of prostate cancer. It also explains some other risk factors and why screening is important.

Is there a link?
The link between frequent ejaculation and reduced prostate cancer risk is not conclusive.

In recent years, a number of articles have claimed that ejaculating more often can reduce the risk of prostate cancer. Some scientific evidence supports these claims.

For example, according to a 2016 study, males who ejaculate more frequently are less likely to develop prostate cancer than those who ejaculate less frequently.

The research followed a 2004 investigation that came to a similar conclusion. Both studies found that males who ejaculate 21 times or more per month may have a lower risk of developing prostate cancer than males who ejaculated four to seven times per month.

Other studies have produced conflicting results. As a result, many researchers disagree about whether or not ejaculating more often makes males of all ages less likely to develop prostate cancer.

One 2009 study found that frequent masturbation might reduce the risk of prostate cancer in males aged 50 and above. However, the same study also suggested that ejaculating more often might increase the risk among males in their 20s and 30s.

In contrast, a 2003 study from Australia found that males who frequently ejaculated when they were younger appeared to have a reduced rate of prostate cancer later in life.

A literature review from 2016 concludes that masturbation, frequency of ejaculation, and age all affected a male’s risk of prostate cancer. However, its authors also say that there was not enough evidence to confirm how these factors might link together.

Although some evidence seems to suggest a link between ejaculating more often and the risk of prostate cancer, the results overall have been inconsistent and contradictory.

For this reason, scientists need to conduct more research to confirm what impact, if any, frequent ejaculation has on prostate cancer risk.


For info on my own BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.

Ms Josephine Drake

It is rare one finds a professional Domme who seems to enjoy ALL the same depravities as oneself. I think Governess X and I do, and now I have found Ms Josephine Drake. Or at least I was pointed to her Twitter account by sissy ballerina when sent the link in his comment, of a video of him performing a sissy rendition of The Good Ship Lollipop. Performing it to Ms Josephine Drake. (If only she was in the UK instead of the US.)

Our similarities. First she dresses in everyday clothing. Then she seems to like, for her clients, forced regression to infancy including  to be made to drink bottles of golden nectar, chastity inside diapers, sensory deprivation bondage, humiliation through having to dress and behave as a parody of a little girl,  using a TENS electricity box and using clothes pegs on the client’s genitalia and serious impact punishments of butts with canes and paddles etc. And even golden nectar in ice form.

If you look through her Twitter account you will find photographs of all of the above activities. If only she was in the South of the UK instead of in the US, bitch-boy has dodged a bullet there.

I did wonder whether sissy ballerina had enjoyed his good ship Lollipop rendition as he performs so well. I enquired, as that would have saddened me somewhat. I was relieved and amused by his response as follows:

No Mistress Scarlet, I did not enjoy it. The clothespins had been on for over two hours as Mommy likes to hear them rattle while I clean and do chores. Then I had to perform the song over and over while Mommy caned me and/or raked the clothespins because I made a mistake, or did not show adequate girlish enthusiasm. The humiliation did fade a little, overtaken by the pain and my focus on getting it right. But then when I watched the video it came flooding back ten fold causing me to burst out crying, wiggling and padding my feet in helpless sissy frustration. Every comment Mommy received about how ridiculous I am, brought a fresh stab of shame and embarrassment, and the video still makes me sob and whimper with humiliation every time I watch it.


Oh I so adore Ms Josephine Drake! And bitch-boy certainly dodged a bullet.

This is a link to my journals.



Inspired Clever Domination!

Another wonderful real life Domme, Miss Hannahbelle has begun leaving comments and exchanging emails with me. In her first comment I was so very impressed by a couple of instances of extreme cleverness, especially the second of the two. The cleverness employed motivated by a delightful drive to maximise the effects of her dominance.

I will first share the content of Miss Hannahbelle’s comment though:

He has had absolutely no orgasm whatsoever in the past two years but he endures almost daily edging sessions where he is securely bound before I take great pleasure in driving him to the edge over and over again with no relief for him. Eventually I’ll lock him back up before releasing his bondage, never  – before he is locked back in his cage. Quite often these edging sessions will last several hours and I have been known to have him secured for an entire weekend whilst I drive him to insanity.

I am very keen that he doesn’t try and fall into a sort of trance where he can drive down his libido whilst in chastity. I want him constantly horny and aroused but with absolutely no way of doing anything about it. I know all his kinks and desires (it’s amazing what you can get a guy to admit to when you have him moments from the edge!) and I use these to keep him turned on.

As for his tasks my favourite has been getting him to walk around our neighbourhood in varying states of humiliating dress. Initially, in order to earn an ejaculation, I gave him the option of taking a number of enemas and then having to walk a predetermined course around the nearby roads whilst wearing 7 inch high heels. I allowed him male clothing but he had to wear the heels. He attempted the task a few times but failed badly within moments of leaving the house. Essentially he just can’t walk in the heels, they are too high for him. So I gave him another chance. He could choose to replace the 7 inch heels with 6 inch heels which he can walk in. However, instead of wearing his male clothes he would have to wear his latex maids outfit, corset, stockings, gloves and collar. Were he to decide to go with this choice, then he wouldn’t be able to chose the other one ever again, this would be his commitment.

The conflict he endured in making this decision was wonderful. I gave him 24 hours to mull it over and torment himself. Should he take the risk of being seen in full maids dress but have more chance of completing the course in heels he could walk in or should he try and improve his performance in the higher heels, reducing his chances of being seen in humiliating clothes but making the chances of completing the course much less likely?

Neither choice is ideal but if he wanted a chance to ever cum again he would have to chose one. I just love the torment he went through in making this decision.

So, for me, the first instance of extreme cleverness, was to extract from him his darkest fantasies under the power of the edging desperation and then use those very fantasies to keep him sexually aroused and so very frustrated, when he otherwise may have flagged.

And the awesome second instance of psychological cleverness: Giving him two terrible things to choose from to earn release AND giving him a long deadline to make his choice, (a long time to be in anguish), AND (the coup de grace), telling him the option he does not choose is gone for ever! So massively ramping up the enormity of the terrible  decision!  Wow.

Below I provide some excepts of additional correspondence from the amazing Miss Hannahbelle.

……… When we met he was in a chastity cage. He was terrified I would be scared off but also had the confidence to try and start a relationship with me. He recognised the innate need for him to be under someone’s control and so, whilst scared what I might think of him, he felt he had little to lose if he wanted to be truthful to himself. Somehow the stars aligned for us both as what he didn’t know at the time was that I did have some experience in the world of domination, having spent some time working as a pro-Domme apprentice to pay my way through my second year at university. I enjoyed my work but had never really taken it into a relationship beyond a bit of bondage. Our relationship has changed all that now! Meeting him has really fired my dominant side and he has responded in kind too. I do wonder if he regrets some of his decisions though. I love the great conflict inside him of being absolutely desperate to cum but also loving that he has found someone who is willing and able to keep him locked, denied and frustrated.
In terms of his kinks I use them on him in all sorts of ways, many of which work wonderfully in conjunction with our lifestyle. He is a keen rubberist and I am very happy to dress him up in lots of layers of rubber, but I always ensure it has a feminine edge to it. He is also a high heel addict, and I take every opportunity to wear heels to arouse him. But I also took the opportunity to get him wearing heels more (he had done so a little in the past) and have been training him in wearing higher and higher heels. I have even bought him ballet boots but he can barely stand in them at present. One day maybe I’ll really train him up in them!
………… Fantasising about being locked in permanent chastity is one thing, living it is quite something else. The same about fantasising of being rubberised compared to having to walk outside in public in rubber sissy clothes.
………………….. I was pleased to hear that you padlock bitch-boy’s heels on him. I have used high heel locking straps regularly to assist in his training. I’ve spent a long time getting him up to the 6 inch heels and I must say he is fairly proficient in them. As I mentioned, the 7 inch heels are a real struggle for him though, which gives me some great leverage over him. I have actually installed a treadmill in our playroom and love to watch him practicing on it. Recently I’ve bought him a pair of 5 inch mules which he is really struggling with because of the lack of ankle strap. They are so sexy on him though and I love to tell him that. He does have very sexy legs, especially when in his latex stockings!
I’ve just spent a lovely hour with him in his strait jacket and ankle spreader locked on him whilst giving him a long and frustrating blowjob. I sat on his face for most of it and loved hearing his begging and moaning through my pussy. He’s currently cooling down with an ice pack on his cock whilst I write you this email. I’ll head back and lock him back in his cage in a minute. I’ve also mentioned that if we end up having to self isolate then he can look forward to some seriously prolonged edging sessions.



My Perversities set out

Below is a truly delightful poem by an author who must of read a great many of my journals! I write that because the poem absolutely nails my depravities. Those very cruel, pitiless things I adore to do. And so timely coming straight after my previous post on my use of shaming outfits.

By: pansiekins.

When a boy becomes a man, he’ll try any tricks he can
To behave as if he’s master of the house.
So dress him up in frocks; bright pink ribbons, bobbie socks
And you’ll find he’ll be submissive as a mouse.

Oh, at first he’ll make a fuss, but there’s no need to discuss
His objections; for his Mistress, as he’s bloused
Simply laughs at his hot tears; his cries fall on her deaf ears
And his begging merely makes her more aroused.

For Ms Scarlet it’s pure bliss, when her subject bows to kiss
And to lick her boots in hopes that she’ll relent.
For her mercy he implores, while before her on all fours
But she pays no heed to any such lament.

Made to stand up in his dress, he blushes hard in his distress,
As his bonnet is attached, and floppy bows.
Ankle bells for when he dances, ribboned wrists for when he prances
Round the room with arms held out in dainty pose.

But Ms Scarlet’s fiendish plan, for this girlish half a man
Is not based on solitary sissy play.
She’s invited all her friends, to observe him make amends
And to laugh at this ridiculous display.

Some are pleased without surprise, by the sight that greets their eyes
For at home they each have sissies of their own.
Lady Jessica, Christine; Miss Anne – elegant and mean
Rule their households from a strict and regal throne.

But there’s other guests invited: giggling madly, all excited,
Ladies in their twenties, eager all to see…
BB’s deep humiliation, and his total subjugation
And how shameful and degrading it must be.

“Does he like to dress that way”, they inquire and: “is he gay?”
But Ms Scarlet simply laughs and shakes her head.
Then she claps her hands for hush, BB stands with crimson blush
And explains, while sadly wishing he was dead.

“I’m a thilly thithy girl”, he sings out, and does a twirl
“In my frockth and lathe, I know I look a fool.
But if onth I dithobey, then I know that I will pay:
Bent right over for the cane, just like in thchool.”

“Tho I hope that I’ve amuthed, and you’re now quite dithabuthed
That I get the thlightetht thrill from thith dithgrathe.
Thith ith only for your pleathure, ladieth lounging at your leithure,
Tho feel free to kick my ballth or thlap my fathe.”

So the younger guests had fun, while the older ones looked on
Full of pride at these young ladies’ cruel delight.
And with glee anticipated, that cruel fate that surely waited
For their husbands and their boyfriends that same night.

For each such young guest on leaving, had a party bag all heaving:
With pink things for life in frillies and restrained.
Males: the fashion’s spreading, so the future that you’re dreading
Of a petticoated life is fore-ordained.

Why dress him in shaming outfits?

I come across Dommes now and again who are uninterested in petticoating humiliation of their sub males. Even a little dismissive, thinking it perhaps relatively pointless. I thought I should post how it became such a pleasure for me and why it is such a pleasure for the Dommes that use this torment.

It took me about four years to get to. I reached the point where my full-on domination days were punctuated with phases of seriously tough endurance for bitch-boy. Lots he struggled with; but they were all things that had in the past ticked his ‘fantasy’ boxes. Obviously, when they were all over he was in awe of me and submissively very content. Dominating him this was gave me considerable pleasure, but I suddenly wanted more intensity for me! I realised I wanted him to HATE what I put him through, even in fantasy, as that would be true evidence of my total power over him for me, (and for him). And total power is such an aphrodisiac! As is unfettered cruelty.

Thinking of him enduring what he really, really hated, got me wet. A huge power rush. It was not really practical to give him constant golden nectar, more thrashings or more coatings of embrocation on his birth defect and anyway, more short periods of pain in a session of many hours wasn’t what I was looking for. I  wanted him suffering every minute for hours at a time, not for only short periods.

I read about the full-on parody-of-a-little-girl treatment. I told him that was what I was thinking of doing. The forced role play on his part, constantly performing and usually with dollies. He looked very, very upset and shook his head silently. I could see he honestly, profoundly hated the notion. Never a fantasy of his. That moment, the thought of imposing it had me very wet! Because he hated it so. It would be PROPER evidence of MY POWER. And unlike a golden nectar, caning or embrocation cream, it could last hours. (There are so, so very many aspects of the treatment that can be employed.) And golden nectar, canings and embrocation could still be included.

So I went for it. It crushed him as I did not use half measures.

It did and still does have a powerful effect on me because it can last all day, or several days. And I have devised methods to keep the extreme levels of humiliation up for literally hours at a time.

One regular reciprocal visitor was not really into humiliation of her sub hubby; until the first time she visited me and she saw how much extreme mental pain it caused bitch-boy. In one brief afternoon with me, she went from pretty much ignoring regressing infantile style humiliation of her hubby, to making it a regular part of their sessions.

I should add that bitch-boy’s awe and worship and devotion consequently made a huge step change. I think he was so shocked that I was capable of doing something he truly hated and that I was getting very turned on because I was. And I was sparing him no blushes!  I paradoxically, I think, became his ultimate fantasy Domme. Not because of what I was doing, but because of my pitiless, selfish motivation for so doing whatever I wanted to.

That level of awe and worship and devotion lives on every day. I feel it almost all the time. Even in 100% vanilla times, even when I think I have messed up in some vanilla way, his unconditional devotion is like a warm bath that envelops me. I can literally do no wrong. And as I wrote on my blog, he is 100% man all of the time I am not dominating him. He revers after a couple of his hours of his shaming little girl treatment. Even if during it, he begged and begged with all his heart not to endure a second hour of this, or a third hour of that!

And obviously visitors, and particularly new visitors, send his humiliation off-the-scale! (Oh the constant whispered pleading and the physical trembling in the run up to the arrival!)Needless to say my feelings of truly cruel and pitiless power over my puppet, and y arousal are also pushed off-the-scale .


My 16th journal –  LINK