My Journal No.16 is published

My 16th journal is now published.

This Journal is all about what goes on under my roof, or at least within the boundaries of my property! It will shed more light on my last post about how I have jumped another step change in cruelty which I mostly put down to having so much time on my hands and also having come to the conclusion that bitch-boy truly is unbreakable! Within a day or so of some significant use and abuse over many, many hours, he is back to normal.

Journal 16 is available as paperback and ePub as an eBook, both on and also available on Amazon KINDLE.

KINDLE by country.   US   UK    DE    FR   ES    IT   NL    JP    BR    MX    CA    AU   IN

In time it will be available on NOOK, KOBO, Scribd, Apple, Barnes & Noble, etc. I will let you know when it is. I will also then provide a Universal Book Link from Books2Read.

Community is not helping itself

Because of a number of comments on recent posts of mine I have been thinking more about how marriages involving domination and submission could become more mainstream, more attractive to potential dominant women, and more acceptable to society. (I guess by marriages I also mean long term relationships.)

It became apparent as I thought about this, that within our community, misleading words and phrases are used all the time and misleading pornography dominates as a misrepresentation of what our long term relationships are actually all about. So it is hardly surprising those not in the community are usually unable to understand what the relationships are all about and they get the wrong end of the stick.

You could argue it all began with the interpretation by idiot simplistic Freudian psychologists of Leopold von Sacher-Masoch’s very famous book, Venus in Furs. The first book ever to hit the mainstream about an overtly dominant submissive relationship. The book is about a man obsessed with wanting to be the slave of a woman, to be dominated and owned by her. But the idiot simplistic Freudian psychologists of the time, invented the term masochist as a result of the book and so the concept of submissiveness was replaced with, arousal through receiving pain – masochism. Leopold’s fictional character was seen as a masochist by mainstream rather than a submissive.

Leopold’s male character was a submissive. He NEEDED to be controlled by a cruel woman. He needed things to happen to him he did not like while they were happening, as a means of him having no doubt he was helplessly in the power of a cruel woman. Being in physical pain was not his goal, being truly dominated was. BUT because of the idiot simplistic Freudian psychologists, the first ever famous submissive seeking a cruel dominant to rule him, was misrepresented and misunderstood by the mainstream as a masochist.

There are masochists; I know that. People who actually seek pain for arousal and who are often not submissive, but their number is dwarfed by the number of submissives there are. A dominant woman does not want a long term relationship with a masochist. They want a long term relationship with a submissive.

Then we come to the terrible term coined for one-night-stand type get togethers. Safe, Sane and Consensual. I have come across so many people in our community who ironically dislike challenging the norm and who therefore try to shoehorn the square pegs of Safe, Sane and Consensual, into the round hole of dominant submissive relationships. Obviously I have no problem with safe. But Sane! –  Of sound mind; not mad or mentally ill.

What one person may find insane another may find completely sane. A Sharia law Muslim male or Hasidic Jewish male would find the notion of women having equal rights to men to be mad, to be INSANE. So we have a subjective, meaningless word which should never be used to further any useful discussion or to define anything.

Then we have the worst offender. CONSENSUAL. When meeting a stranger at an orgy, yes, activities must be consensual. But long term dominant submissive relationships are not about orgies with strangers and more importantly a submissive needs EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE to giving their consent. In order to get the feeling of being helplessly under the control of another, they need things to happen to them for which they do not give consent. Enduring things they would not, and do not, give consent to, proves to them they are helplessly under the control of another;  and they subsequently sleep soundly – wrapped in their cocoon of helplessness to a cruel woman. The cocoon they need and crave.

Then we come to POWER EXCHANGE. Again, I have come across so many people in our community who dislike challenging the norm who  try to shoehorn the square pegs of Power Exchange, into the round hole of dominant submissive relationships. Dominants do not exchange power with submissives. Dominants keep all their power and submissives give up theirs. There is no exchange, (which implies a consensual situation). The submissive’s power is REMOVED. No exchange of power is involved.

So for those of us interested in long term dominant submissive relationships, let’s all try to not use the word masochist when we mean submissive, and never ever use the phrase Safe, Sane and Consensual. And never use the term Power Exchange.  And beware if you use the term,  BDSM, that that does include masochism.

Let’s stick with DS relationships. – Dominant/Submissive. And the submissive surrenders all power to the dominant.

Then the issue I bang on about often; misleading pornography dominates the net as a misrepresentation of what our long term relationships are actually all about. Few of us have a stone-walled dungeon or empty warehouse, few of us spend much time in PVC or corsets or thigh boots. Simply wives  or long term partners, dressed comfortably, possibly sexily, in our homes relaxing and being tyrannically dominant and rather cruel.

There is still the issues of abusive relationships where someone has no power, is abused but is not submissive. We all agree that is illegal and should be prosecuted.

And there is the issue of hard limits; and definitions of these truly test the notion of the submissive giving up all consent. My solution is to define hard limits as activities that stop the submissive feeling submissive. These are different activities depending on the submissive.  If the dominant wants to indulge in such activities, they need to find a different submissive.


Journal 16 is Published

My 16th journal is now published.

This Journal is all about what goes on under my roof, or at least within the boundaries of my property! It will shed more light on my last post about how I have jumped another step change in cruelty which I mostly put down to having so much time on my hands and also having come to the conclusion that bitch-boy truly is unbreakable! Within a day or so of some significant use and abuse over many, many hours, he is back to normal.

Journal 16 is available as paperback and ePub as an eBook, both on and also available on Amazon KINDLE.

KINDLE by country.   US   UK    DE    FR   ES    IT   NL    JP    BR    MX    CA    AU   IN

In time it will be available on NOOK, KOBO, Scribd, Apple, Barnes & Noble, etc. I will let you know when it is. I will also then provide a Universal Book Link from Books2Read.

Ancient real Life images versus current porn industry

The other day I came across some of the grainy, blurred, very poorly lit, black and white photographs of true domestic slaves of Mistress-wives from Madame magazines of thirty years ago.

What struck me was how these terrible quality images invoked such strong feelings of lives of dominance and submission compared to the bland, staged, fantasy nonsense of almost all of the current femdom porn industry’s output.

I know I bang on about this a lot, but it was the terrible quality of the images, (mostly taken on Polaroid instant cameras no doubt), having such an impact, while the digital glossy, high budget modern stuff can be so very meh.

I was going to accompany this post with links to my BDSMLR site to some of the most evocative old images but it is currently down for maintenance.

Here are two mild images of Fifi who is the subject of letters I have from Madam magazine and will post in due course. Utterly dominated by his wife and mother-in-law. I will post other images on BSDSMLR in due course too. I added the face covering dots, which are a shame because poor Fifi’s very miserable and embarrassed expression says it all!

Cruelty step-change, (again)!

I am not sure exactly, perhaps sometime three months or so ago, I made another step change in my evolution as a female dominant. Thinking about the last couple of months of full-on, all day, domination sessions to which bitch-boy has been subjected, I am seriously more cruel and pitiless than I have ever been.

I wonder if it is because neither of us work now and the extra time available has changed me? I sense it is certainly something about finally realising bitch-boy really is unbreakable.

Whatever has happened, as I now plan the day ahead and think about the various activities to which I will be subjecting bitch-boy, I select the worst for him. Be it physical tortures or deep humiliations or terrible tedium, (or both at once). The physical tortures are more extreme and the humiliation/tedium activities go on for longer, and often I am not even in the same room, (read on).

I have zero pity as I inflict the deterrent punishment session, (there always is one), and the physical tortures. I relish how I feel being sooooo cruel and having no pity or guilt. He is a submissive. It is how he was born, or made, and suffering is what he is for.

And the result is that my poor naturally submissive play-toy, once he has recovered, is even more in awe of me. What an inescapable web he is stuck in!  And also, perhaps a new thing; genuinely frightened of me and of what I am now capable. It takes a lot to frighten bitch-boy! BUT I AM!

The result for me of this step-change is the increased number and magnitude of my orgasms. I lose count after a dozen in a day. And they are massive and sometimes arrive SO QUICKLY! I surprise and shock myself during the day as I find myself becoming aroused as he endures something I would have hesitated at putting him through before. The change is truly exhilarating!

As to some of the details. For example: When he is secured on the BDSM bed, his legs wide apart in the genealogical stirrups, his little birth defect truly suffers. Smacked and whipped, harder and for longer. Always Linnex now, that lasts over half an hour and burns the worst. I haven’t used the slightly less painful and much shorter duration Deep Heat for three months.

Then we get the combined tedium / deep humiliation. One activity, for which there is a very detailed description in my, about to be published, Journal No. 16, is him, over and over again, performing a number of nursery rhymes with actions to all his dollies, and interacting with each of them verbally about each rendition. He is in an upstairs room and I set up the video baby monitor and I am in the sitting room getting on with whatever I wish. From the baby monitor I am serenaded by the sounds of his profound misery as he performs, which I can check on with a glance at the baby monitor from time to time to check his actions are being performed too.

He does not have me with him to at least get the compensation of seeing my body in my skin tight attire. He does not even know if I glance at the screen or have the sound turned up to hear him. Although he does hear my orgasmic screams every 20 minutes or so. I get so turned on because he is so extremely miserable, understandably! He HATES IT, REALLY, REALLY HATES IT! But he has to keep going for an hour or even two. I visit him briefly two or three times, carrying my dressage whip, just to remind him what the cost would be to him to fail to perform for as long as I wish.

The final example I will give is his deep throat training with Triple S. He often retches violently. Tears run down his cheeks as his visceral reaction to the object being forced down his throat. Do I stop? Do I feel guilt? I neither stop nor feel guilt. I shock myself that I am not phased by seeing my puppet physically, violently retching. There are plenty of videos that show women taking ten inches, so I WILL get there with him! I am sure as recent as six months ago, I would have baulked at this activity. Now; I LOVE IT!

So perhaps after almost twenty years I have reached the final stage of my evolution. The journey has been wonderful. The destination is exhilarating!


Dickie-discipline on erect or flaccid

My last post got me thinking about how the pleasures are different, but of almost equal magnitude, when applying dicki-discipline to a fully erect and straining penis compared to a soft and flaccid penis.

So my dominant sisters, do you agree with my thoughts below?


The erection can be induced by combinations of a long period of denial of sexual relief, by a Cialis pill, by him seeing my partially clad body, by his defect being touched erotically with my skilled hands; so rare for him.

The dickie-discipline cruel pleasure comes firstly from the  constant tease. Oh how he would love to cum. But although he is hard and teased relentlessly, it is pain and discomfort, not cumming, that he gets. The pleasure also comes from being able to be so unfair as to tease him verbally about how he must like the torment he is suffereing as the little defect is so hard and standing up asking for more. So it would be wrong of me not to give it more of what it’s asking for. Whether this is a very, very hot flannel wrap, stinging nettles, Linnex embrocation cream, smacks with the 12 inch ruler, etc.

Then, with things like stinging nettles or a very, very hot flannel, there is the pleasure of the defect’s increased size. More flesh to aim at and more to wrap ones hand around with the flannel, (although as I understand it the pain is the same – hard or soft.) Also when it is hard the marks from spikes of penis collars show deliciously.

Finally there is a pleasure from how vulnerable and helpless the defect looks when hard and being punished. Standing up, so exposed and so vulnerable.


The biggest cruel pleasure when tormenting, with Linnex embrocation cream or smacks of a 12 inch ruler, a flaccid birth defect,  is that there is ZERO sexual arousal/pleasure for him. No erotic pleasure, FOR HIM at all!

He is a true slave being tortured for his owner’s pleasure and he has no eroticism at all for compensation. It is all about MY power rush and my sexual arousal from my ownership of him, my tyranny. That is exhilaratingly decadent and hedonistic. My heartlessness itself is also exhilarating. I can revel in how BAD I AM!

And there is the very stark contrast of the magnitude of my pleasure, especially sexual pleasure contrasted with his physical misery and mental feelings of despondency. He is suffering because he is the play-toy of a cruel Mistress who has no mercy, no sense of fairness and he has no escape. And his owner will never get bored of what she does. Year after year after year.



For info on my own BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.

Spikes got longer!

You may recall my post about my purchase of the item below (LINK).

If he is fully erect, the spikes screwed all the way in do appear to be quite agonising! But, as you all know, bitch-boy’s birth defect is a little under average size.

On top of that issue he is sometimes so fearful of the lovely spiked collar that his erection begins to diminish when he sees me approaching with the collar.

It seemed to me that, were the grub screws to be a bit longer, the device could be well employed on a less than fully erect birth defect.

A little technical research on the internet led me to discover that I could buy stainless steel, M5, cone tipped grub screws in a number of lengths; and so cheap!

Here is the result.

On the left you can see three grub screws in a line. At the top, an original length grub screw. Below that, the two sizes of longer grub screws I have purchased.

Obviously the very longest screwed in too far would cause damage, but I can assure you that from now on, even a half erect birth defect will be feeling suitably, painfully skewered!

I must publish a disclaimer with this post. I have created a mechanism that could cause serious harm. Do not copy me unless you are confident of using it without causing serious harm.

In my next post I will discuss a related issue: – With all types of dickie discipline, the different pleasures when applied to a very hard birth defect, versus a very soft and flaccid birth defect.


My recently published Journal. Click on THIS LINK for details.


Links too subtle?

This post is about research for my blog style; please indulge me. I would be very grateful.

In my last post was a link to a video on BDSMLR. Only an eighth of those who looked at that post clicked on the link. Is this because the link was simply text in a different colour, (that changes colour and underlines when one hovers the mouse over it).

Is this too subtle? Would it be helpful if I always use the word, ‘LINK’.

Are links like this not attractive to use if you use a smart phone to view the blog?

Thank you in anticipation of your helpful responses.

A deeply shaming video

You may recall my previous  two posts about the amazing Mistress Carla.

Well she has sent me a very shaming video of her cuckold slave husband,  pussie for me to publish the video on BDSMLR; which I have done. The pansy’s outfit has to be seen to be believed!

pussie was required to come up with a shaming cheerleader chant, (or cheer), with actions, and perform it in front of Carla and her sister. The rendition was videoed and sent to me. (pussie was given a VERY significant dose of the paddle afterwards as the cheer was deemed inadequately shaming.)

pussie was ordered to make up the sissy cheer using some of the things Carla makes it do. For example the second verse refers to pussie being ordered to go out for walks, ‘sissy parades’, in a girly sweater, maybe pom-pants, or just regular pants but with the fly wide open, balls and wee-wee pulled all the way out and covered only by the sweater, with bells tied to a coarse twine tied tightly around the balls and hanging down between the legs so they jingle as the sissy walks.
The third verse is about the fact that pussie is never allowed to use the front door, but instead must go in the rear basement door. Adjacent to that door is where the trash bins are kept. So pussie must always crawl into that area first, lick up any dirt on the floor around the bins, then  stick his tongue on the wall and wait for someone to let him in the basement door.

When the video was sent to me, Carla felt pussie’s voice should be edited out so he could not be recognised. I had bitch-boy do the grunt work for this editing, leaving only the sound at the end of the video, of Carla’s delightful, mocking laughter.

HOWEVER, Carla has now said if female Dommes leave comments on this post asking for the volume to be restored for the WHOLE video, then she will give permission for me to do that; as female Dommes wishes should always be obeyed. pussie knows this and is very miserable over this post and profoundly fretting over the next potential posting.

Here are the lyrics of the cheer.

Mistress Carla’s slut sissy that is me
Mistress Carla’s slut sissy, my name is pussie
i must parade all about
with my fly wide open
my wee-wee and balls hanging out
i must never use the front door
i must crawl into the dumpster
licking the walls and the floor
my widdle wee-wee is kept red and sore
then rubbed with capsaicin 
to make it burn more
Mistress Carla’s slut sissy that is me
Mistress Carla’s slut sissy, my name is pussie
yea pussie

So, dominant sisters of ours, what do you think?