Another wife takes control

I purchased your manual. I am very much excited to begin this journey with my husband. He is most definitely a true submissive and I am finding my dominant side which has been made much easier and clearer because of your wonderful manual. Thank you! 

A comment recently received. Nothing gives me greater satisfaction than the thought that I am helping another woman enjoy the sort of life I do, and as a side effect making a true submissive content, although no doubt ‘challenged’ and perhaps regretting what he wished for.

(Click on the image for more info.)


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My Tumblr site and impending censorship

Well it seems that it was only a few weeks ago I reported that my Tumblr site had grown to 15,000 followers. Well since then it has grown to 16,000 followers.

I think this does show the gap between what the porn industry and many Dominatrices provide online and  what submissive males actually like. My Tumblr site almost never features dungeons or warehouses or women in PVC or women in uncomfortable underwear or corsets. It mostly features women in comfortable clothing, albeit often sexy too. But nothing a woman would not wear in a vanilla situation. Women, often relaxing and focussing on what they get out of domination, not what the male might fantasise he wants.

Moving onto my second subject, I read that in the UK, in December I think, a law will be enforced requiring anyone who wants to view adult material online, to register with their ISP some serious form of identification such as passport data or a credit card. NO ID, no access to adult material. Obviously the prospect of a data breach of these ID databases would be horrific.

My question is what constitutes adult material? All Tumblr sites or some Tumblr sites? This blog? How do the ISP providers identify what is adult material? It all seems rather impractical so will it in fact just be the famous video sites like Pornhub that get blocked and perhaps the sites of Dominatrices?  Or did I read the news item on April Fool’s day and not make the connection??


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Sadism and power-rush pleasure is natural!

I read a science article recently on Big Think about childhood bullying. Most of it was irrelevant to my blog but one statistic caught my eye. Of the 3,600 people studied, 1,257 admitted as children to have systematically bullied one or more other children. That’s 35%.

Why do I raise this?

Well I often attempt to help hesitant but enthusiastic wives and girlfriends of submissive males become dominant and also sadistic. I go into some detail on this topic in my BDSM manual and point out that cruelty, taking pleasure from inflicting physical or mental pain, (sadism), takes the intensity of emotions up for both the Domme and the sub. In a nutshell, the sub feels utterly dominated and controlled  because there is much more power exerted by inflicting gratuitous sadism than by simply giving orders to have chores done, etc. And a greater power rush for the Domme for the same reason.

In my manual, and often on this blog, I point out that gratuitous bouts of bullying happen in packs in the animal world as a way of issuing reminders of hierarchical position in the pack. Lions, chimps, etc. And I believe from this, through evolution, bullying is innate in humans. Given it is clear that the power rush of sadism releases endorphins and endorphin releases only ever come from innate reward systems. Sadism does however conflict with conditioning as a child – that being mean is wrong and bad. The wives and girlfriends I try to help are fettered by that past conditioning.

It seems to me that the research to which I refer shows that an amazing 35% of children do get past that conditioning. I think that supports my contention that bullying is innate.

I will mention the incorrect platitudes so often spouted by society because society is ashamed of the extent of childhood bullying that exists. Bullies are cowards. Hmmm, rarely so I am afraid. Bullies are unintelligent. Again this is not often the case. Bullies come from ‘broken’ families. Rarely true.

Finally I must stress that I truly hate and abhor the extent of childhood bullying and would love that it did not exist. Like many Dommes I am full of compassion for those in the world under any form of tyranny, (except true submissives who need it to be whole). Perhaps society should face up to the realities rather than making up falsehoods if the terrible extent of childhood bullying is to be addressed. Bullies are generally not cowards, are often intelligent, they most often come from good homes, they get endorphin rushes when they bully and bullying is innate and natural.






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Club Fem Chastity device

One of my email slaves was required to buy this chastity device. He has provided a review of it which I thought may be of interest. (It reminds me of the infamous KTB, Kali’s Teeth Bracelet.)

Review of the Club Fem device.

It is relatively expensive for what it is, a simple plastic strip with spikes on the inside and slits for a tie to thread through. However, in the world of Chastity devices it is inexpensive. Club Fem are easy to deal with. slave Genie (s.genie) responds to emails promptly and follows up to ensure the device has arrived.

Full instructions on how to fit and wear it are given on the Club Fem website, which are essentially thread it with a binder, wrap it around the flaccid penis and fasten it. Once fastened, if positioned correctly it is uncomfortable to remove and impossible to replace without cutting the tie. Replacement tie wraps can be purchased from a local hard ware store. The key is to find the right setting which is tight enough to be secure without causing problems with the spikes. The spikes can be filed down if causing too much sensation however this does reduce the security element. I found a metal padlock as a fastener to be effective. This is not included from Club Fem.

Wearing it takes some getting used to. The spikes cause a heightened awareness of the penis and a slight prickly feeling. Of course, the tighter you wear it the more intense that sensation becomes. Having an erection whilst wearing it is painful. Worn whilst flaccid it is uncomfortable but bearable for extended periods. From a safety perspective, the manufacturers recommend changing where the device is work on the shaft so the points are not consistently in the same place.

It gives easy access to the shaft for application of Deep Heat treatment and the balls to tie laces or other stretching tools. It is a good accompaniment for your instructions, combined wearing an anernos and clothes pegs on the nipples.

I have not attempted sleeping in it but on the basis of wearing it during the day for several hours at a time would recommend it for day wear.

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No loss of submissiveness post climax?

I received a comment and I would like to put my responses to this comment to my dear submissive blog followers to elicit their views.

Part 1 of the comment:

I’m a submissive, so I can speak to my own experience. It can frustrate me that my motivation to submit can crash after intense sexual experiences (after climax, especially) I don’t know if that means should somehow learn to love it even when I feel “crashed”or try not to crash.

MY RESPONSE TO PART 1: In my experience, if the male feels helplessly dominated as a lifestyle, never allowed safe-words or boundaries, never allowed to say when domination does or does not take place. A true helpless puppet. Then the period after climax of not feeling submissive, lasts only a minute or so, or does not appear at all.
Whereas if the domination is a game and the ‘submissive’ can say at any time, <em>’not today’ </em>or <em>’I don’t want to do that'</em>, then there is no real lifestyle domination and the loss of feelings of submissiveness can last quite some time.

The principle applies with enforced tedium I think. If the ‘submissive’ is given a tedious, time consuming chore, especially that has to be repeated week after week after week, and knows he has zero option but to do the chore, then despite the feeling of tedium there are also sporadic feelings of deep submissiveness, sometimes very deep. Whereas if the ‘submissive’ is given a tedious, time consuming chore but knows he could say, ‘I am not doing that’, or knows after ten minutes he can stop because he is bored, then there is no feeling of submissiveness during the tedium.

Its all about whether there is REAL POWER and that the domination is not a game.

I have REAL POWER. bitch-boy is addicted to me and could never leave me despite hating so much of what I do to him. He knows he is lucky to have me and must always obey me to keep me. So my domination is not a game. I do with him what I want, when I want. I cuckold him whenever I want. NOT A GAME!

Part 2 of the comment:

I can see how domming would get tedious, especially with a needy sub.


MY RESPONSE TO PART 2: If by ‘a needy sub’ you mean a sub that wants to be dominated in certain ways but not in other ways, then that is both tedious for the Domme and the Domme has no real power. Again it is nothing more than a game. When the Domme, like me, has REAL POWER, it is never tedious. It never gets boring. It is THRILLING! It is AROUSING! It is addictive.

The ideal is when there are activities which deeply affect the sub and which the Domme also finds very pleasurable. Given there are so many potential activities to experience, activities which tick both parties’ boxes should be possible to find. The great paradox of course is that a true submissive will be deeply affected by having to experience things they really, really hate, (at the time). But afterwards, when they reflect on how cruel their Domme has been, reflect on those terrible activities, they are in awe of their cruel, pitiless Domme and feel even more submissive and addicted to the Domme.


LINK to my published journals.

LINK to my published BDSM manual.




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Cruel Mother-in-law

So following a request I found two letters in my archive from the wonderful old MADAME magazine of the 1980s regarding another mother-in-law. The mother of Mary from Maxstoke. I have posted a letter from Mary and one from her Denise  her friend in the Domme’s Letter section of this blog. The two letters go as far as the previously published letter from Pamela.

I have not read the letters, I am so busy, so let me know if there are any problems with them. I do remember Mary and her mother operating at the pinnacle of petticoat disciple and male subjugation.

I expand below a comment I made in discussion about mothers-in-law and the powerful response this topic has elicited.

I think a mother-in-law (MIL) in charge means that there is no pretending it is just a game. I also think the following:
It is more powerful than sisters-in-law because a MIL in this role is likely to be a widow or divorced and may well have no interest in meeting a new male vanilla partner, meaning they can focus on their new hobby, (of making their SIL miserable for as many of his waking hours as possible), without any distractions. Focus both effort and a great deal of time. Given they may well be retired too, they can indeed become engrossed in their new hobby, it giving them more pleasure than any vanilla hobby and them having 24/7 spare time to do so.

MILs can be extremely defensive over their daughters and if a male has hurt a daughter in some way are likely to hold a very serious grudge for years and years and have no pity in extracting revenge and judicial punishment for hurting their daughter. On the same theme MILs are likely to encourage their daughter to cuckold the male and do anything else for the daughter’s pleasure regardless of the terrible anguish to the male. Their daughter’s happiness being all they would think is important.

Finally the daughter/wife may well be very attractive while the MIL much less so, but the male may have to perform intimate services for the MIL. Another ‘injustice’ over which no guilt or pity will be felt.


LINK to my published journals.

LINK to my published BDSM manual.



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essential oils- feminise OR tease and deny

A recent scientific study found that lavender and tea tree oils boost oestrogen and inhibit testosterone in men. I know nothing about the use of essential oils but I thought Dommes may be interested to know about the properties of these oils.

An issue arises. It seems that if you are a Domme most interested in the teasing and denial of a chastity controlled submissive,  you should avoid these oils for your submissive because they will dampen that desperate male drive for orgasm.

While if  you are a Domme most interested in the serious, enforced feminisation of your male submissive, then you should use these oils to the maximum safe levels in order to dampen male traits, promote feminine bodily features and perhaps even some male breast growth.

Obviously if you are a Domme interested in both the teasing and denial of a chastity controlled submissive,  and the serious enforced feminisation of that male submissive then you have a choice to make regarding these oils – to use or not to use, that is the question.

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