Achieving maximum cruelty?

Here is a short question I received that required a long answer.

Mistress, do you think you will ever reach the point where you achieve maximum cruelty? Where you can’t become anymore heartless or sadistic?


A much more tricky and complex question to answer than you might imagine. Although both issues are linked and codependent, I will start with the issue of maximum heartlessness. My definition of heartlessness is feeling no guilt, no pity, no sympathy, no inclination towards mercy while being cruel. I would say I am already at maximum heartlessness. I never, ever feel any guilt, pity, or sympathy, or ever have any inclination towards mercy while I am being cruel.

Linked though, is what constitutes maximum sadism. If I define my sadism as taking sexual pleasure in causing physical and/ or mental discomfort, I must first point out that discomfort for my plaything can come in many forms, including, sexual frustration from orgasm denial. And also having that frustration made worse by physical or visual teasing, or both. I currently set out to maximise this. I think I am successful in my objective. I could not get any worse.

Then we get the discomfort of tedium. I do not hesitate in imposing up to six hours or more of sensory deprivation bondage on my plaything, if I have a female lover/sub over. And, all full-on DS days I involve a minimum of two hours of some form of tedium torment. I do not think I could get any worse with this than my current capability and occasional application.

Then we have humiliation. I could not get worse with this. I will dress my plaything as humiliatingly as possible and have him perform in front of, whenever possible, any number of women he has never met before. I adore having him literally, physically trembling with anxiousness before such an event.

Then we get to causing physical pain and also subjecting him to degradation, (degradation – like having to lick clean the soles of my footwear or consume my urine and spit). I will put physical pain and degradation together. I put them together because these things can be taken to dangerously agonising, or dangerously unhealthy extremes and I would never do that. I feel no need so to do. As long as I have him genuinely pleading and begging with all his heart for the physical discomfort or the degradation to end, (or to not start), my sadism is satisfied. He is suffering and I am taking power-rush and sexual pleasure from that. I need go no further. I guess, although very unlikely, were he ever to become habituated to the levels of physical discomfort or degradation I currently cause, and therefore, he stopped genuinely pleading and begging with all his heart, I would need to ‘up the levels’, and I would not hesitate so to do.

The final issue is the proportion of waking time, my plaything is suffering in some way. Obviously increasing the proportion of time, is an increase in cruelty. But I have to say, I don’t think this aspect specifically relates to my sadistic desires, (apart from the 24/7/365 chastity and enduring orgasm denial, but I am not taking pleasure from that 24/7/365, because I forget about it. It has to be said though he might be suffering virtually 24/7/65, as he seems to much more rarely forget about it. LOL). I like to use him quite a bit for his vanilla company, but at all other times he is dominated in some way or other. But I think this proportion of time issue does relate to my feelings of power and ownership. The larger the proportion of time we are not in vanilla mode, the more I have that warm, decadent, relaxed feeling that I have absolute power over him, and that I OWN him. Like I own my car, or my shoes.

Coincidentally, associated with this, I have taken to padlocking a rubber collar on him 24/7/365 when at home. (Because it is rubber, he can bathe and shower with it on.) Every time I see the collar during vanilla times, which is very often, I do for a few moments get that warm, decadent, relaxed feeling that I have absolute power over him, and that I OWN him. Much more often than before he had to wear the collar 24/7/365 when at home. The collar is uncomfortable and is degrading for him but of course, I feel no guilt, no pity, no sympathy, and I have inclination towards allowing him to remove the collar for even a moment, so he wears it 24 hours a day, day after day after day.


On another matter

Volume 18 is now available in most formats including  as a paperback in

(For anybody reading this post who does not know the purpose of the hole in the stage on which I stand, in the above journal cover image, follow this link for an explicit image.)

So far Volume 18 is published as an Amazon Kindle book, and an eBook and now as a paperback. In due course it will be available on iTunes Books, and Nook etc.

The eBook is also on (Please note that if you are searching for my books on, you will need to tick the ‘explicit content box‘ to see all of my books.)


On Amazon Kindle



Positive reviews of my recently published Journal; No. 18


Mistress Scarlet has done it again! Journals of Real Female Domination, Volume 18, is an exhilarating read from start to finish that chronicles the extraordinary life that she and her submissive husband enjoy. Written in her own unique style, this book transports the reader into the lived experience of lifestyle female domination in a way that captures the eroticism and complex mix of human emotions that very view authors manage to convey. Reading it is a visceral experience that sets the heart pumping and pulse racing. You may well find that it stirs emotions and desires that you have not perceived before. Whether you have read her previous journals and are aware of how her real life marriage has evolved or are new to her work you will find this an arousing and stimulating book. Once I started reading it I read it from cover to cover without putting it down.


BTW your Journal #18 is fantastic!!!


Hello Mistress Scarlet, I just finished and thoroughly enjoyed your 18th journal.
You are a very talented writer and it is always enjoyable to read in detail about your life with bitch-boy. It was nice to hear how affecting the photo collage is for poor bitch-boy and the resulting pleasure his suffering of being reminded of the pleasures he once had but will never, ever have again gives you. It must be difficult for bitch-boy knowing that future lovers you haven’t even met yet will be allowed to do all the things bitch-boy can only dream of doing with you.


11 thoughts on “Achieving maximum cruelty?

  1. What a inquisitive question, I wonder which one of your devoted slaves asked that? The answer is divine and again just shows your are a true sadist and I can tell you how much I love it.

  2. Mistress Scarlet , I was wondering if you ever read books by Molly Sands? I check out many books on Amazon dealing with femdom and by far her writing is so far above the others. Really understands the dynamic between Mistress / sub mentally with the exchanges of conversations in the books , as opposed to how others write more about the actions taking place in scenes only. Not much back and forth conversations dealing with the mental aspects of femdom in other books. Check some out if you haven’t seen already , I believe you would like them.

  3. Interesting post, Mistress – thank you. I’m intrigued that you write about the possibility of him becoming habituated to pain or degradation in which case You would respond by escalating, but you don’t suggest that You might become habituated causing You to decide to escalate his torment. Your wonderful blogs over the last year or two have been a story of ever harsher escalating torment, caused by Your needs rather than by him becoming blasé or used to the status quo, and I too had been wondering where it would lead. How do you avoid escallation leading to causing real damage? Is there a maximum possible level, and would You then get bored? If so would a vanilla-ish reset allow your desires to mellow so that you could start relishing the escallation process all over again?

    1. I must not have made my point clearly enough.
      My pleasure and satisfaction does not come from how much pain I cause or how much I degrade him. My pleasure comes from how genuinely and pitifully he pleads. I will not escalate unless he becomes habituated and so ceases to please genuinely and pitifully.

  4. I think it depends a lot on each Mistress, some go to the extreme and others not so much, the important thing is always if she is happy.

  5. Another great post exemplifying your mastery with words. I’ve been following your blog now for a few months, each time I visit I’m reminded of why I got into femdom. It isn’t all about beating and humiliation, but as a man stepping back to appreciate the intelligence and artistry of women. Removing the preconceived notion that men have where we must lead and control our partner. You so eloquently define femdom, the true meaning. Stripping your husband of his egoic masculinity, and having him put you on a pedestal. You owe him nothing and he worships you endlessly and humbly. Like you said your pleasure comes how genuinely and pitifully he pleads. Absolutely brilliant!

  6. Ma’am sorry I meant to send the above link with comment. This happened in Florida last week. She definitely has dominant traits.

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