A sissy friend for bitch-boy

I just had to post two photos of bitch-boy’s new sissy friend. This is an unashamed copy of an idea of my wonderful friend Madame Victoria. A copy of a doll she made for her male slave, Stephanie-Jane. Bitch-boy’s new dolly even has the same name as the doll Madame Victoria has gifted to poor Steffie – she had come up with such a good name. (Madame Victoria is featured in the published Volume 6 of my journals, and is also in the half completed Volume 8).

I will leave it to your imagination to envisage the sort of humiliations bitch-boy (and Steffi) has to suffer with his new sissy doll friend!

dolll  Untitled-1

Some shopping on Amazon and eBay, and for under £20 for all the items I secured a pink Barbie ball room gown which I chopped down with scissors so that it was ridiculously short. Another purchase of some Barbie doll frill topped socks and of course the purchase of the male doll. Two small ribbon bows stuck to the doll with glue, red nail varnish to depict the red punished bottom and there we have it – a little sissy friend doll for lucky bitch-boy! I’m afraid he did not seem very grateful. LOL!

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Shoes for fun!

I saw these shoes in a window of a shop which unfortunately was closed. If the spring compresses so that the top sole can come close to contact with the bottom sole, what great cock crushers the shoes would make. (even if the cock would have to be flaccid to fit into the gap.)

I had to depart the town in which the shop was situated, so I will never know.

IMG_0491 copy

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Completely excluding him from the real world

I received from ravi a comment on an earlier post and I felt that my response was worthy of a new post as readers may find my honest response interesting or perhaps selfishly callous or perhaps so extreme as to be psychologically deranged. I am prepared for abuse in response to this post! Here is the comment from ravi I am responding to.

Have you ever considered shutting him out of the world completely (almost), except from those whom you chose to have him meet. This includes stopping him from continuing his business and making him completely dedicated to you. Without any other distraction. (by what i made out, you already have enough money to do without his business and neither do you have kids). This would not be really practical but just wanted to know if you had given this a thought.

I am not sure if ravi has read Volume 7 of my journals. Below is an extract from Volume 7 to which he may be referring.


……………………………… I continued.                 

I know it’s your holiday too. But that means nothing to me. You’re trapped in this life you initiated and I am not compromising my potential pleasure from it and I never will. You need to come to terms with that as best you can – always remembering you brought it upon yourself. Have I not made it clear that it is just going to get worse. I am going to give up work soon. We have enough money saved away and I have decided that I could be enjoying real pleasure an extra 40 or 50 hours a week if I give up work. I am prepared to forgo the hugely expensive cars and all the other extreme luxuries, in exchange for enjoying real pleasure an extra 40 or 50 hours a week. It’s not even a close decision. I will be giving up work very soon. When I do give up work, you will find yourself playing with your dollies every afternoon that I can fit it in. If we can adjust your work routines to mornings only on most days, then every afternoon you will find yourself playing with your dollies. You will be able to complete your maid’s duties some mornings and most evenings, although many evenings will consist of total sensory deprivation bondage for you, I’m afraid. That is where we are heading for our lifestyle. You don’t understand just how much I love having you play with your dollies as Belindakins while I read or watch TV or flick through magazines. It makes me feel so relaxed and so powerful at the same time. I relish your deep humiliation and the terrible monotony of it all for you. Both elements bring home to me my extreme power and that is a delightful, arousing feeling. And when I give up work and you spend afternoons, one after another, after another, after another week after week – my power rush will be greater still.’ He had begun to breath very deeply. He knew my speech was no mind-fuck. He knew I was being 100% honest about my intentions and that it would all be happening in the manner I was setting out.   It was exhilarating to deliver my speech, knowing it was all true. I picked up his Barbie Doll comic while he continued to breath deeply and stare at the blanket on which he sat. I selected a colouring-in page and laid it in his lap. Despite feeling exhilarated I spoke in matter-of-fact tones.                  ‘So, off you go then. Colour this page in with Suzette. And remember, if you go outside a line, you will get caned.’ …………………………………………..


So, as you can see, I already have plans that are distinctly in the direction of ravi’s contemplation. Once I have enacted the new lifestyle I have set out in the extract above, I would not be surprised if I then move further. Perhaps having bitch-boy sell his business. I may also want a part time, working-at-home job for additional fulfilment – probably working for a charity that I support. My justification for this future of extreme constraining of bitch-boy’s existence is as follows.

Firstly, he is submissive to his core. Being controlled gratifies him utterly at the deepest level, although obviously it comes with huge collateral consequences for him. Pain, humiliation, drudgery, sexual frustration, etc. It is true that he hates the consequences of his helpless submission, but such is the paradox of the submissive human and I have written on this many times. This paradox is exemplified because the more he suffers and the greater the inequity – the more profoundly he feels controlled.

Secondly, he is in his late fifties now. He has led a very, very fulfilling life already. He has had more fulfilment than most people would dream of in their lives. We have raised a child (now a fantastic adult), he has had some powerful and rewarding jobs, he has run a successful business, he is full of wisdom and his wisdom is often sought by family and friends. And also my future regime will ensure he is physically very fit and healthy and will have a very healthy diet. He will have no decisions to make and no stressors – apart from me! Further, he has had a much younger, beautiful, (well he certainly thinks so), intelligent wife for over a decade.

Lastly, I am very selfish and sadistic and dominant and I want to experience this extreme Domme/sub lifestyle. It will be an adventure for both of us. It is no doubt also a lifestyle he fantasised about before he met me. (Of course he may have reconsidered these fantasies when reality educated him as to the potential folly of fantasies!)

So the clock is ticking to this future – I can’t wait!

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The tranquil contentment and bliss

Towards the end of one of those days, when I have put bitch-boy into TSD bondage and I have returned downstairs to watch TV, do emails, make phone calls or read – always at least for an hour, often several hours – I get this exquisite feeling of tranquil contentment and bliss. I feel so relaxed yet powerful and so fulfilled.

Every now and then my mind turns to bitch-boy – blind, deaf, immobile, vulnerable, the taste of my urine (or his semen mixed with water) occasionally dripping into his mouth from a slowly melting ice block, him sexually denied and desperate – me on such a day, probably having had 4 or 5 orgasms already – and I just get those feelings. Like my little world could not get any better, or be more serene.

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Oh and I forgot to mention…….

Regarding the post below: – On each day of last weekend, his lunch was a yoghurt, spooned a bit of a time by me onto the white porcelain of the toilet rim. His hands were bound behind his back while he licked it up.

I did allow him to clean the toilet first but of course that did also mean cleaning a toilet every morning!

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Can last weekend be topped?

Bank holiday last weekend was a joy! (For me anyway.) I don’t know if I can top it this weekend. bitch-boy spent some considerable time on rotary clothes line duty on two consecutive days. His total time must have topped two hours while I sat in the conservatory and read the weekend paper supplements. I did break up his blindfolded tedium for him a bit, every twenty minutes or so, by caning his arse as a motivation to keep on moving.

I also played with his boy’s bits on each of the three consecutive days for an hour a time – it takes an hour to watch an episode of the latest sub-titled foreign language detective series box-set I am watching.

He also spent at least two hours each day playing with his dollies. Board games, reading to them and colouring-in. (I have two new colouring-in books, The Girls’ Princess Colouring Book (Buster Activity), The Girls’ Fairy Colouring Book -  recommended to me, they are so detailed – it takes him ages to colour a single page in. And, of course, he gets caned hard if he goes over the lines at all, so extra time is required to be careful not to do so.

He spent a minimum of an hour and half each day in Total Sensory deprivation bondage. Sometimes enjoying a semen/water ice chunk, sometimes a urine ice block, and either nettles, or Deep Heat Muscle rub, on his poor little clitty – which did keep getting stiff and hard when I played with it – so what else could I do? On the last day I did let him have a very powerful orgasm at the end of the TSD bondage session. But I made it very clear the purpose was for me to prepare a semen/water mix ice block for the following weekend. (I wonder if that takes the shine off the experience for him?)

Despite all of the above, he still had time for his chores and for prepping all the delicious food and cocktails I consumed. And there was still time for me to have 5 or 6 massive orgasms each day.

I do apologise that there was nothing new for me to report on, but I just have these favourite things to do.


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Men genuinely crying or pleading

So much femdom photographic or video porn misrepresents the desires of real domes. I can imagine many women seeing it who may have thought about  becoming a Domme being completely put-off. This rubbish porn is either aimed at men or is simply produced and directed by people who have no idea what a REAL DOMME likes to do. I guess a further problem is the professional Dominatrix where the client has a safe-word. I imagine the interaction cannot work without this, but for me, the male is in control (not the Dominatrix)  – when the male can halt proceedings whenever he chooses.  I can’t imagine what the male gets from this and I have always assumed they are masochists and not submissive. (A distasteful thought for me is that the main kick they get, buy the end of a session, is feeling proud of themselves over just how much they could take before they used the safe word.) There are some Dominatrix who manage somehow to work around the safe-word issue, I know – and more power to them. And more power to all professional dominatrix while I am on the subject! I respect them all – a valuable and positive part of society.

On one aspect of BDSM porn – a genuinely crying or pleading submissive. There appears to be no shortage of BDSM porn with a female sub who is genuinely crying or pleading, but finding porn where a male is sub is genuinely crying or pleading is very difficult. YET,  I consider that is an essential ingredient in real domination! There is some available:- The Balkan Brat, Barefoot Princess, Mikaela – (Shepunishes), Governess X,  Mistress Jo, Sadobitch, Goddess Whiskey – (Cruel Stepsister), Sadista, Cruel Sara.

A long list you may think. And I have no doubt that I have missed a good number out. But I would estimate the femdom material that hits the mark is perhaps less than 1% of the femdom material online. How can this be?

Anyway, RANT OVER. One thing I can happily say is that bitch-boy will be genuinely crying and genuinely pleading a good number of times over this bank holiday weekend – and I will be very happy and contented.


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