The ultimate default rule?

I think most Dommes have default rules that their subs must follow. Some are 24/7/365 but some are exclusively for DS sessions. At least, I have both types. I impose a great many 24/7/365 default rules bitch-boy has to follow!

These include making sure he wakes before me every singly day and, by the time I awake, the kitchen, sitting room and dining room are in an immaculate state. The rules also include a long list of things that must never run-out because he is continuously making sure they do not. Five different types of drink that must always be chilled in the fridge for when the whim takes me to have one. Other things like ample toilet roll and kitchen towel always on the dispensers, his clothes put away the moment he removes them, my Lelo wand always fully charged, etc, etc, etc.

But I also have a number of DS session time default rules: Examples include that he must always curtsey on entering or leaving an occupied room. He must lisp his ‘s’ sounds by replacing them with ‘th’ sounds. If passing something to me, or taking something from me, he must always use both hands at once. (A Japanese sign of respect that is remarkably affecting.) If I send him to the kitchen to make my lunch, or prepare the evening meal, he must always ask if he may listen to the radio, so I can say, ‘No‘.

a bent-over-and-bound punishment

When I have finished a bent-over-and-bound punishment, and have removed his gag, he must always say, ‘Thank you for helping to make me a better sissy slave Mistress.‘ To which I normally reply in a harsh tone, ‘I should think so maggot!

So, all I have written above is background that leads me onto what I am contemplating as a new DS session default rule; but is it too cruel? In order to elucidate I must explain that I have currently perfected perhaps twenty different cruel activities, from which I like to pick three or four to enjoy during a DS session. (My DS sessions generally last between four and nine hours.) I have actually written checklists for each of these twenty or so activities, so I do not forget any element of the activity.

Some elements in an activity are new and I will use a new one as my first example of the ultimate default rule. Very recently I decided that unless an activity is for dickie-discipline, bitch-boy’s birth defect must always be locked in its cage or, while flaccid, be tightly padlocked in TWO spiked cock straps.

spiked penis strap

There are many activities to which this new element applies. A bent-over-and-bound punishment. When I rock on my swing seat with my boot on his throat. When he has to colour-in with dolly. When he is Mistress’s-Little-Masturbation-Helper. Etc. Now in my haste to begin my enjoyment of one of these activities, I may forget to look at my checklist and so forget to padlock bitch-boy’s birth defect in a cage or with spiked straps. The new default rule I am contemplating, is bitch-boy must politely interrupt at the end of the activity preparations, and remind me that I like to have his birth defect locked, and should he fetch the spiked straps? Another example is his tedium-humiliation, (which can last several hours), of colouring-in with dolly. The main elements of colouring-in with dolly, are sitting on a little chair with pens and two minute egg timer and dolly and colouring-in book, and entering into verbal exchanges with his dolly and colouring-in.

But there are lovely additions to the basic activity. One is a malevolent smacking of his hands with a twelve inch ruler before he starts, ‘to help his hands warm to the task‘. Another is to have him sit on coir matting for ten or fifteen minute periods during the colouring-in session. I usually set the timer alarm on my smart-phone for 20 minutes after he has started so, when it goes off, he is full of fear. When it has sounded, I might decide it is time for a coir matting period to begin, and/or a fresh hand smacking, ‘to ensure you don’t get cramp. pansy.‘, or, he should drink some of my barely diluted urine from his sippy cup; or I might simply do nothing, other than reset the timer for another 20 minutes.

Now, in my haste to get the tedium-humiliation underway, I may forget his initial hand smacking or I may forget to set the timer. The new default rule I am contemplating, is bitch-boy must politely interrupt at the end of the preparations, and advise me I like to smack his hands before he starts and/or to set my timer alarm. ( I use this timer alarm technique with all the tedium/humiliation activities I have him endure.)

So the essence of the new default rule is: bitch-boy must prompt me in a timely way, should I ever forget an element of one of my DS session activities. If he does not do so, and, as is quite possible, I realise during or after the activity I have forgotten an element, he is awarded a dire punishment. Given all elements he might remind me of add to his woes, this new default rule would of course be very unfair and quite humiliating for him to comply with. Between a rock and a hard place, where all subs should be as often as possible! (It’s so good for their submissive souls!) I almost think though I am going too far. I wonder if other Dommes apply such a default rule, or would contemplate so doing. But as I next explain, there is a problem.

Making sure a punishment is ‘dire’

I posted in August my view that a perfect DS relationship symbiosis requires the sub genuinely fearing punishment for rule breaking. I stick by that, including fearing breaking default rules. So linked to the above, ‘ultimate default rule‘, is the issue of what constitutes a, ‘dire’, punishment. I am an unashamed sadist and so bitch-boy can expect to be thrashed, bound-and-bent-over, two or three times during every DS session. The first thrashing will always be labelled by me as ‘a deterrent punishment’ to ensure he complies with instructions and rules during the session. Subsequent thrashings are for rule breaks I have noted in the previous few days and saved up for this DS session, but quite often he also receives separate thrashings, just because I can; because I am a sadist.

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punished bound-and-bent-over

So, recently I have noticed a problem that will be amplified if I adopt the new, ultimate default rule. As things stand, on a vanilla day I notice bitch-boy has committed an infraction, normally there are no more than one a week, I record it in my smart-phone notes and during the next DS session, one of the thrashings he receives is for the infraction. BUT, as I usually like to give three thrashings during one DS day, and as sometimes I give him a thrashing, just because I can, I think he knows that whether he commits an infraction, or not, he gets just about the same intensity of thrashings the next DS day. So I am failing to follow my own principles as set out in my post of 8 August. And perhaps my logic in that post over using DS day thrashings was flawed.

The status quo is I have either been using one of the DS session thrashings, a thrashing there and then, (that is very often impractical), or adding two or three weeks to his current orgasm denial period. It is clear I am right about the above reasoning as bitch-boy seems very much more frightened of extensions to his current denial period, than of a DS day punishment thrashing. So I will use denial period extensions more often, as for him for him they are the ‘nuclear option’. BUT, it does not suit my idiosyncrasies to continually be adding weeks, so he never gets to cum.

I need other punishments that he will genuinely fear. I welcome suggestions, but over recent days I have been thinking of punishments that also increase my pleasure during DS days and DS sessions. One I am very attracted to, is to apply some Linnex or Deep heat to his clitty, (despite it already being in its two spiked straps), five minutes or so before he is used as Mistress’s-Little-Masturbation-Helper. I THINK he will be able to concentrate adequately in his helper role, but he is sure to be whimpering and sobbing throughout the activity which will intensify my orgasms. Another idea was to use a roll-on Extra Strength Deep Heat applicator to his butt after a bound-bent-over thrashing, before I release him from his bent-over-bondage. I am sure this would seriously burn for a good ten minutes after he was released. (Or Linnex which may burn for 40 minutes!)

There is a HUGE flaw with such ideas though! If, as I imagine, I thoroughly enjoy these new ‘punishments’ because I am an unashamed sadist, will I adopt them as the norm and so be back to where I started; with bitch-boy not trying to avoid such punishments as he is likely to get them anyway! I guess it requires will-power on my part to exercise self-denial. But should a Mistress be having to exercise self-denial?????? With tongue partly in cheek, I must state: It feels so wrong!

27 thoughts on “The ultimate default rule?

  1. Greetings
    Interesting post. My point of view is that the more you can do something the more mundane it gets. To refer to the exact part I’m answering;
    ‘There is a HUGE flaw with such ideas though! If, as I imagine, I thoroughly enjoy these new ‘punishments’ because I am an unashamed sadist, will I adopt them as the norm and so be back to where I started; with bitch-boy not trying to avoid such punishments as he is likely to get them anyway!’
    So you need to find something that he will NEVER get used to. Which you already have. He is never used to being a b.a.v. Also that he will NEVER come after you’ve decided that’s it and that’s going to be it. and everything else you might effectively find rn will eventually be part of the norm because that’s the way humans are.

    1. I was afraid I so rambled in my over long post, people may not get my key points.

      I have to challenge you that he will find everything mundane when he is used ti to it. After hundreds of very painful thrashings using wraparound, I can promise he has not got used to such a thrashing and never will. They are simply too painful.

      My point is, as he knows he will get 2 to 4 thrashings on every DS day, regardless of whether he has committed an infraction or not, there is no worry over him committing an infraction. It won’t make a difference to how many thrashings he will get.

      So, because of that, I was thinking I will make the thrashing even worse, like with a Linnex application to his butt immediately afterwards. Then I moved onto how, because I am a sadist, I would probably adore making the thrashing worse that way and so not have the will-power, to limit making it worse that way, to only when he has commited an infraction.

      (He is already a BAV so that can’t be a threat to him over future infractions.)

  2. You seem to fall into your own trap.
    Isn´t all this too elaborate to follow it through?
    Where is the fun of simply doing what comes to your mind?
    What I have (painfully) learned as a sub is simply to grin (oh no) and bear it.
    The more unpredictable my domme is, the more do I fear her viscious phantasies and the more do I respect her.
    Having nearly no fixed rules makes me tread through the minefield very carefully.
    Something might blow up any second.

    1. I am unsure into what trap I have fallen by highlighting three choices I am to make and seeking views on each??????

      I tried your Mistress’s style and it absolutely was not for me. For a start bitch-boy was spending hours on chores I had not interest in him doing and doing those chores to a much higher standard than I desired as well, when I wanted him to be spending time on other things. I love my long list of rules and get a mini-power rush whenever I particularly notice one has been complied with I love finding that one of the many hasn’t been and telling him a punishment is due. Different strokes for different folks.

      I have instituted the ultimate default rule, tried it on Sunday. I looooooove it and he hates it.

  3. This is just a thought…

    Maybe you need to assign a grading to each punishment..

    Grade 1.. normal discipline for everyday life
    Grade 2 ..Deterrent punishment for maintenance
    Grade 3 ..Mistress pleasure punishment
    Grade 4 ..BB humiliation
    Grade 5 ..BB dire
    Grade 6 .. BB scared, Mistress love
    Grade 7 .. nuclear options
    Grade 8 .. one way ratchet options

    This would help be clear what each punishment is for…So an earned punishment can be delivered seperate from your pleasure punishment, albeit you enjoy all.

    The list could go on…BB could catalogue them for you, make a nice punishment manual that could be added to….also when out and about be easy to say, “well you’ve just want a grade X for that darling…..”

    As new ones come along easy to add, as are grades etc.

    Just a thought, I’m sure there will be failings, but it may help stopping the over using the terror punishments which set a new std and maintain using regular.


    1. Me to and I’m proud of it, she’s not sadist, sometimes severe, punishising any mistake, desobedience or I if bore her.
      Yesterday we have lunch, in a nice restaurant, talking, after dessert she take off her red sabrina and gave me her right feet, under the table, with my left hand, over the table I caress her left hand, while waiting for an expresso deligthful.
      After lunch once in my car, I kissed her hands, her face and suck gently her left ear, she warn to stop I poursuive untill she told me she was wet and I”ll be punished.
      She took from her purse nipple clamps, while I open my shirt and apologize, screaming with pain, she her right hand under skirt, wet her finger removing her panties, with left hand gave me to suck her finger, with the other pull my right ear and gave a severe slap in left cheek.
      I drove to leave at her house, while she scold me promise severe punishment, next week, because I was late for a meeting.
      Thanks Mistress Elsa!

  4. The term ‘funishment’ might normally be used for things the sub enjoys but more important I think is if the domme enjoys inflicting them. Using funishments for infractions of default rules is a lose-lose situation as you’ve noted because you either have important rules broken or you don’t get your fun. So funishments should be limited to unreasonable tasks that are difficult or impossible to complete.

    The ideal punishment for serious infractions should be something the domme doesn’t particularly care for but also something that takes mimimum effort to inflict. If the ‘nuclear option’ is impractical then things that cut into his private vanilla time like plain corner time is an option (assuming he still has any).

  5. I’ve never experienced a lot of what you put bitch-boi through, but it’s hard to believe that it could be more unbearably painful and unbearable than electrodes on the testicles. Even at level 5 out of 15 on a tens machine it had me screaming and willing to do anything to make it stop or to prevent it happening again.If you want dire punishment he will do ANYTHING to avoid, a genuine physical terror of the level of pain, that’s probably the easiest (for you).

    Although, you can get sound-activated electro machines that increase the power as the volume gets louder, so presumably if you used that when he was “helping” you orgasm you’d get turned on by his pain and make more noise, which would increase his pain levels, which would turn you on even more, and…..well, I guess the virtuous circle for you would maybe lead to the same problem of wanting to do it more and more!

    But an orgasm session has an end whereas the thought of being hooked up to the tens machine for as long as you decided would be horrific for him.

  6. Mistress, another amazing blog
    I love the idea of protocol that when he walks into a room he must kiss your feet or when he leaves he must ask you to leave and then kiss your boots. A mistress once gave me a harsh body kicking with her boots and at the end said” now kiss the boots that kick you and say thank you” I thought that was amazing. Another punishment you could try is for you to relax cross legged and tie a huge brick to bitch boys cock and place your boots just out of his reach and order him to kiss them, so he either disobeys you or causes himself immense pain to satisfy your whim.

  7. Forgive me for this comment not being directly related to this post, but I’d love to know about you and Bitch Boys beginnings. How the relationship formed, what about him attracted you, and would you say there is still love between the two of you?

  8. Random question here. Do you and your hubby ever kiss each other? Do you kiss with your tongues? Do you hug each other? Are you still romantically intimate? I know he’s a BAV, but I’m curious about other ways of being close that you two may use to show the love that you two share.

    1. Yes, initiated by me, usually following some wonderful moment or incident, we do all of those things. We have a perfect symbiotic relationship so all that is included. As odd as it seems I can effortlessly move from treating him appallingly, to cherishing the perfect relationship we have, and showing that, all the while he is locked and denied and profoundly sexually desperate. You have to remember that his vanilla persona is a quite remarkable person in a large number of ways. That is why I was demarcated to him so strongly before DS came along.

  9. Hello Mistress Scarlett.

    I was wondering if you could help me to source that devious little strap. I think my sub’s cock would love it.

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