I do point out in my BDSM manual that one way to very deeply affect a sub and get delicious arousing pleasure as a Domme is to get the sub to the point where they are truly pleading with all their heart and soul for something to happen, or to not happen, or to stop happening. (But one can go further, see levels 2 and 3 below.)
Level 1 – A sub truly begging with all its heart, has no doubt they are utterly helpless, the domination is REAL and they are at the mercy of a cruel person. I would almost say it is essential.
Level 2, Once the begging with all its heart has been attained, add a mind-fuck, the sub must believes the mind fuck could happen.
# Telling a bound sub, who has already received a spanking of very considerable duration when he truly feels he can’t take anymore, that you are only half through.
# Telling a sub who has been sexually denied for a long time and is begging with all his heart for relief that there is another week or another month of denial yet to go.
# Bringing a long denied sub to the point of sexual release and he is begging for all his heart for that release, then saying you have changed your mind and don’t think you will let the cum after all.
# Telling a sub, all dressed up as a parody of a little girl, that you will now phone a few friends to come around and watch him play with his dollies and do his little dance. While he is begging with all his heart, pick up the phone and begin to make a call.
The level 2 generates even more profoundly desperate begging. The sub can then be let off – ‘Oh as you have begged so nicely and so pathetically, I will let you off this time, BUT NOT THE NEXT TIME maggot. Thank me then, repeatedly!’
HOWEVER, we don’t have to let them off the mind fuck. We can carry through with it! Casually ignoring the heartfelt begging. Having the sub pleading earnestly with all their heart, sometimes with tears flowing, and, coolly ignoring that pleading and those tears, brings a whole new level of intensity to the dynamic. The terrible thing does happen! The Domme is quite relaxed while ignoring the sub pleading earnestly with all their heart, even with tears flowing. This third level generates even more awe from the sub and even more arousal for the Domme! (But beware there is always the need for escalation potential. So even if the Domme is bringing the mind-fuck to fruition, there must be even worse things left in the back pocket, should they be needed for deterrent effect.)
You may be missing out on opportunities if there is something you do which your sub really hates but to you it has become a simple habit, no words spoken.
If you regularly give you sub a deterrent caning, you may simply by habit, locate him in position and begin. A wasted opportunity. Instead, tell him that you are about to give him a deterrent caning. Pause a while to listen to the begging, THEN locate him in position to begin.
If you, as a matter of habit, apply a nasty cream to his little clitty, don’t waste those opportunities to invoke begging. Tell him you are about to apply the cream, pause a while, enjoy the desperate begging, (perhaps tease him that it will be an especially thick coating), then apply.
If, as a matter of habit, you tease his clitty for a good while and then put it back in its restraint without orgasm, after teasing tell him its going back in any minute, continue teasing for a while to listen to the begging, then it goes back in.