Ignoring heartfelt pleading and tears

I do point out in my BDSM manual that one way to very deeply affect a sub and get delicious arousing pleasure as a Domme is to get the sub to the point where they are truly pleading with all their heart and soul for something to happen, or to not happen, or to stop happening. (But one can go further, see levels 2 and 3 below.)

Level 1 – A sub truly begging with all its heart, has no doubt they are utterly helpless, the domination is REAL and they are at the mercy of a cruel person. I would almost say it is essential.

Level 2, Once the begging with all its heart has been attained, add a mind-fuck, the sub must believes the mind fuck could happen. 

# Telling a bound sub, who has already received a spanking of very considerable duration when he truly feels he can’t take anymore, that you are only half through.

# Telling a sub who has been sexually denied for a long time and is begging with all his heart for relief that there is another week or another month of denial yet to go.

# Bringing a long denied sub to the point of sexual release and he is begging for all his heart for that release, then saying you have changed your mind and don’t think you will let the cum after all.

# Telling a sub, all dressed up as a parody of a little girl, that you will now phone a few friends to come around and watch him play with his dollies and do his little dance. While he is begging with all his heart, pick up the phone and begin to make a call.

The level 2 generates even more profoundly desperate begging. The sub can then be let off – ‘Oh as you have begged so nicely and so pathetically, I will let you off this time, BUT NOT THE NEXT TIME maggot. Thank me then, repeatedly!’

Level 3

HOWEVER, we don’t have to let them off the mind fuck. We can carry through with it! Casually ignoring the heartfelt begging. Having the sub pleading earnestly with all their heart, sometimes with tears flowing, and, coolly ignoring that pleading and those tears, brings a whole new level of intensity to the dynamic. The terrible thing does happen! The Domme is quite relaxed while ignoring the sub pleading earnestly with all their heart, even with tears flowing. This third level generates even more awe from the sub and even more arousal for the Domme! (But beware there is always the need for escalation potential. So even if the Domme is bringing the mind-fuck to fruition, there must be even worse things left in the back pocket, should they be needed for deterrent effect.)


You may be missing out on opportunities if there is something you do which your sub really hates but to you it has become a simple habit, no words spoken.

If you regularly give you sub a deterrent caning, you may simply by habit, locate him in position and begin. A wasted opportunity. Instead, tell him that you are about to give him a deterrent caning. Pause a while to listen to the begging, THEN  locate him in position to begin.

If you, as a matter of habit, apply  a nasty cream to his little clitty, don’t waste those opportunities to invoke begging. Tell him you are about to apply the cream, pause a while, enjoy the desperate begging, (perhaps tease him that it will be an especially thick coating), then apply.

If, as a matter of habit, you tease his clitty for a good while and then put it back in its restraint without orgasm, after teasing tell him its going back in any minute, continue teasing for a while to listen to the begging, then it goes back in.


LINK to my published journals.

LINK to my published BDSM manual.

15 thoughts on “Ignoring heartfelt pleading and tears

  1. You wisely point to always keep another level available that is even more severe should your sub somehow get through the one he is placed in…good strategy

  2. Dear Mistress Scarlet
    Appropriate to this theme is a recent escalation my boy experienced.
    Whenever his ego gets in the way, he is subject to a date with Nurse Linnex. This is rubbed thoroughly into his little william and elicits many howls and shrieks of agony. He really is a big baby over this. I have also frequently threatened to tie off his ball sac with a stocking and liberally coat his balls with melted Linnex too. The concept has long terrified him as he is well aware how bad the pain is when his penis just brushes against his testicles, and releases a little of the embrocation, when he writhes around. I have teased him by caressing him with a stocking while he waits for the Linnex, and taunted him of it occurring, but always the stocking has been put away.
    Well, on the evening in question, he was scheduled for a Linnex treatment for some minor disobedience at a party we had attended the evening before. Since my friend Pam had messaged earlier in the day to say she was going to call me at seven; shortly before this time, my boy found himself standing by the bed, arms folded in front of him, with his hands clasping his shoulders, while I encased him like mummy in many revolutions of plastic wrap.
    He looks so pathetic and helpless, his eyes pleading to be excused the torment to come. Begging tremulously to be forgiven. Needless to say this is met only with cold contempt. With his torso bound, he next lies on the bed, with his heels raised on a bolster, allowing me to wrap his legs from his ankles up to his lower thighs, leaving him immobile and very exposed.
    I picked the Linnex off the bedside table, suggesting, “Perhaps we should warm this up so we can apply a thicker coating?” He struggled and begged me not to warm the Linnex. Indeed he was still pleading forgiveness when Pam rang and I picked up the phone. My welcome greeting quite a contrast to the cold disciplinarian he was dealing with!
    “Just a sec, Pam,” I continued, “I just have to get something out for David, and I’ll be right with you.” And on a whim, I took a black stocking out my top drawer and draped it over his thighs and little toy. The colour drained from his face and he trembled in terror, as I left the room brightly chatting away to Pam. His insignificance exemplified, compared to my chatting with a friend.
    He was in a terrible state when I returned nearly an hour later, no doubt having heard my laughter in the background, and tears were now flowing as he begged for the Linnex, but pleaded desperately not to have his balls coated too. Of course I wouldn’t hear of this, we don’t do leniency in our house. “Right,” I coldly snapped, “it’s about time we put Nurse Linnex to work!”
    Without further ado, I drew the stocking under his privates in a see-saw motion, finally stopping with it centred under his organ where it meets his groin, before very tightly wrapping the stocking twice round the base of his penis and ball sac; then, even more tightly, several times around the very top of his ball sack, so his scrotum was stretched tight with his balls totally exposed and bulging out like taut balloons. He was breathing deeply, big gasps, shivering and whispering aloud, “Oh my god, no…. please no… I can’t take this….. please no…. please this can’t be possible… I can’t believe you’re really going to do this… please… please spare me…”
    His appendage, hard as a rock, balls ready to burst, I calmly advised, “I am sure you are anxious to get started, but I need a minute to prepare the Linnex.” I quickly returned with a bowl of steaming hot water covered by a towel, to keep the heat in, and my hair dryer. The Linnex was wrapped in some cling wrap and left to steam in the water, while I blow-dried his privates. He was soon squealing as I worked the hot air to open up all the pores.
    Satisfied with my preparations, I put on a pair of rubber washing-up gloves and readied the Linnex. Gripping the base of his organ firmly in my left hand, I softly hummed “Here we go round the mulberry bush”, as I pressed firmly down and rubbed the melted stick slowly round and round the knob, again and again, round and round; then up and down the shaft, all around, up and down, and then in circles round and round, slowly descending to the base, and then slowly back up to the top, circling in the other direction, and around, and down again until it was coated in many layers of the nasty embrocation. I then smiled as we waited for the searing pain to commence.
    It normally takes about eight minutes to reach a crescendo, and it is always so amusing to watch his face as he anxiously waits, ever hopeful the scorching pain will not come, then the look of dispair as the first warming effects arrive! It was a very hot, sultry evening so the effect was worse than normal. Coupled with the opened pores, and lengthy application, he was screaming and jerking helplessly on the bed within a few minutes. Conscious of little but the fiery agony enveloping and engorging his penis.
    Smiling brightly I advised, “I’ll give you ten minutes to enjoy that, and then we’ll continue,” as I replaced the stick in the hot water bath.
    When I returned he was till squealing and writhing like a stuck piglet, as I calmly donned the rubber gloves again. This time I firmly gripped him at the very base of the scrotum with my left hand, pulling the sac even tighter, so his testicles were as hard as a football, allowing me to press firmly down and thoroughly rub the Linnex in, ensuring it penetrated deeply and that the entire sac was liberally swathed in the pungent embrocation.
    The escalation effect was marvellous, his screams were enough to wake the dead! I could hear him from the far end of the house. In fact after about five minutes I had to attend to him. He was coated in sweat, from his exertions and the sultry night only made it worse. Even I had a light sheen of perspiration on my brow. He was writhing and jerking and begging for some relief, “Please Ma’am, please, I need you to cool it down, I can’t take it, I can’t, it is too much. I need an ice-pack, the air-conditioner, anything, it’s too much, please, please, a cold flannel, ice…. Please?
    I lighly remarked, “My my, you do carry on, I’ve never heard so much noise, it’s a good job we don’t have neighbours!” He continued to groan loudly, begging for relief, an ice-pack, anything to take the pain away.
    Eventually I decided I would have to something about the all the complaints and loud bawling. “David, you are going to give me a headache with your histrionics. Give me a few minutes, I have an idea how to provide some relief and help you cope better.”
    “Thank you, thank you,” he gasped, “quickly please, I simply can’t take it anymore.”
    It was such a hot evening, that I returned with a some ice packs and a gag. The gag inserted, I smiled, down at him, “There, that’s a big relief from all the screaming, I couldn’t hear myself think. And you can bite down hard on the rubber to help cope with the pain.” He was still grunting and writhing, but I could see he was also biting down hard on the gag, and it was much, much quieter.
    He looked on aghast then when I took the ice packs and wrapped them in a towel that I placed around my neck and shoulders. I burst out laughing, “You didn’t really think they were for you? What would be the point of going to all this trouble to maximise your suffering and then letting you off?
    “Now, I realise the heat trapped in here helps enflame the Linnex, so you don’t want the air-conditioning turned on; but it is far too hot and stuffy for me, so I am going to leave you to enjoy the full effects of Nurse Linnex; while I relax and cool off in the lounge with my ice pack, a cold drink and the air-con turned up high.” He shook his head and jerked about as the reality of his ongoing suffering bit home.
    His writhing and agonised groans lasted for over two hours! Most enjoyable. We will definitely do that again! NB Of course the stocking was released immediately following the application of the Linnex.
    What about escalation potential? What could be worse? Not much I expect, except of course a hefty double or even triple dose of Linnex, two hours apart, and we could add a hot water bottle!

    1. I usually use Deep Heat Muscle Rub stick which causes sobbing but only lasts around 15 mins. I hold back the Linnex for more special occasions given it lasts over 40 mins. I normally use about 4 smears on the shaft and this brings forth proper sobbing for the 40 mins. Its hard to imagine the agony your boy experienced. He is very lucky to have a liberated Mistress like yourself free of boundaries so he can experience profound sadistic domination. He needs to learn to behave doesn’t he!

    2. I am a submissive male. Mistress has used deep heat cream on my cock and balls. It is agony for about ten minutes. Sometimes, it is reapplied several times. I have had a similar product to Linnex placed on a small area for under an hour. It was horrible, agonizing. I cannot imagine the horrific pain that David endured, It is terrifying to think about it.

  3. I find that capsacin ,or if pussie has earned some very severe punishment or I am in a really cruel mode, extra strength capsacin, causes intense pain and agony for the sissy. I like to irrriate the penis and balls first by rubbing the penis and balls with coarse sissel rope. Just as Chrisine M describes, I find that f binding the balls with scratchy twine before throughly coating the penis an balls with the capsacin helps to intensify pussie’s response.I have also found that coating the shaft causes more discomfort than the balls.
    I enjoy slowly and methotically applying the first coat and then watching as pussie squirms and dances around hoping that by shaking his junk in the air will cool the burning heat. Then after 10-15 minutes I show pussie the tube of capsacin and suggest it is time for another coating. The sissy willl beg and plead to do anything to avoid a second coating of the horrible cream. pussie comes up with some of the most cruel humiliating suggestions- all of which I will agree to make the sissy do but only after I apply the second coat!.It is hilarious to watch pussie’s face as he realizes he will now experience both more capsacin punishment and then additional humilation and misery of his own making.
    Lastly I have a special chasity pouch that was made for pussie. It is pink satin with white ribbons on the outside- lined with burlap on the inside! So after a second coat of capsacin is throughly applied, I slip the pouch over pussie’s so irriated and sore balls and wee-wee, tie it tighly ( the sack was made purposely small to that it will fit very tight and squash the wee-wee) so that he is constantly feeling the burlap. I sometime make the sissy play with himself with the burlap sack on- no relief but lots of suffering LOL!!
    sorry to go on so long.

  4. The problem with heat cream is it contaminate everything it touches. It is very annoying when one accidentally gets some on oneself!
    When smallbear has some applied to his nipples or other places, I put a small dab cream on the pad of a large waterproof sticking plaster and stick where ever I fancy.
    This stops the cream contaminating clothes etc and stops it getting on me! Keeps it “hotter” for longer!

  5. I have thought of an Idea related to escalation potential.
    You can tell bitch boy that he has to keep his cock hard for let’s say 3 hours continuously. He can drink and urinate before that and once the time starts, he is not allowed to let his cock get even slightly soft. You can then put him on the bed in your room with a camera and monitor and record it. If he cums, he of course loses.
    If he fails, then you will apply Linnex heat stick to the exposed head of his cock (If you have not already done so) or his balls.

    Also, I read more about embrocation creams and I found out that they contain Capsaicin which is also a chemical in pepper. Capsaicin is not directly harmful to the human body but it causes an intense burning sensation and hence unbearable pain in sensitive parts of the body. It basically activates our neurons to send false burning sensation to the brain. Linnex heat stick is one of the strongest embrocation creams available in the market.
    Although it doesn’t cause any harm directly, the reaction of our body to its application is the same as that of burning or abrasion. So inflammation occurs on the skin. In some people, it can be harmful since the skin reacts too much to the cream and damage the underlying tissue and skin. Too much quantity of it can also cause severe inflammation but the “too much” varies from person to person. You are lucky that bitch boy’s body can take it causing him intense pain without any damage although he may have a different opinion.
    I feel that the pain of embrocation cream on cock and balls can only be felt and not described in words but I am sure you realize it very well from his pleading and tears that it is indeed nasty. This is really a boon for loving sadists since there are very few things which can cause extreme pain without causing any damage at all and all of them simply works on the principle of sending false pain signals to the brain. Otherwise inflicting this much pain comes with temporary or permanent damage.

    I am sorry to say this again (and I won’t repeat it again) but the pain caused by even a medium intensity embrocation cream is literally too much to bear. It really felt as if I couldn’t take it but I didn’t faint either. This is the beauty of it.
    That much pain should have made a man faint but it doesn’t and it has to be endured as long as the cream is active and there is no escape. I really believe that if I were in the place of bitch boy, I would have fainted with the Linnex stick but who knows? He must sweat a lot after you apply it and beg with all his heart to get relief.
    Maybe it is possible to suffer under so much pain without losing consciousness and I am underestimating the human body. Maybe! The mind of a submissive is really interesting indeed.



    1. I have never heard of: ‘…..it can be harmful since the skin reacts too much to the cream and damage the underlying tissue and skin. Too much quantity of it can also cause severe inflammation.
      I have no idea what sort of sites you are picking this stuff up on and I don’t want to know. If you don’t want it on you don’t use it!

      You may be a wimp???? You say,’…. the pain caused by even a medium intensity embrocation cream is literally too much to bear… ‘. Well many males have to bare it and do so and they don’t faint and many bare much worse than bitch-boy.

  6. Sorry for offending you. I am not questioning your intelligence.
    I didn’t mean to cause any confusion. I was replying to my original comment in which I asked whether it can be dangerous and then I found out that it is very rare for it to be harmful and shared that so that everybody can read.
    I think you misunderstood my comment. What I meant by inflammation was that some people may be allergic to the cream and more then a certain quantify (or any amount) of the cream can cause harmful inflammation of the skin. For example, some people are allergic to chili. The first link of my last comment discusses some general info about a similar cream since you asked the source. So, the conclusion is that most men can enjoy the pain and a few people may have excess inflammation on their cocks. This can be tested by first applying it to a small area in a small amount and if everything is fine, the man is all set to receive some punishments.

    Maybe I am a wimp but I think I may have abused the word unbearable here (although I am not sure if there is an exact objective definition). What I meant by unbearable pain was that when a person can’t maintain their composure and remain silent even if they try their best. Like BB whimpering and sobbing. I am not sure how much pain a human body can take and how much I can take. But from whatever I have read, people are generally surprised to find out, that their limits are way above what they previously thought. For example, the body can take a lot of caning on the butt to become black and blue but it starts hurting way before that stage is reached.

    Also, can you provide some examples of what you think is very extreme (but doesn’t cause permanent damage)?

    1. As I wrote in my journal, there is no place for ‘consensual’ in a relationship where the submissive truly feels helplessly dominated, which is what they need to feel to be utterly content. I replace ‘consensual’, with a little more than they think they can take. (So I rekject the oft used phrase, Safe, Sane and Consensual.

      I imagine if the submissive can maintain their composure, they ARE NOT receiving, ‘a little more than they think they can take’.

      I suggest you use Pornhub to find examples of ‘extreme’ that does not cause permanent damage.

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