I have mentioned the dominant pleasure from curt instructions a number of times on my blog. Well, as a result of my research for my, soon to be published, Addendum No.1, (an addendum to my original BDSM manual), I have come across, ‘Curt Dismissals.’ Below are two paragraphs extracted from a short section in my Addendum No.1 on ‘Curt Dismissals.’ I have begun to use them a lot and ADORE USING THEM! So my question to Dommes and subs is; are they as affecting for you, as they are for bitch-boy and I, although for each of us, affecting in very different ways!
…….. I use another situation for curt dismissals on vanilla days whenever I am about to do something for which I will be alone in a room. I may be about to start a yoga session, or work on one of my craft activities, or about to video chat with one or more friends or relatives, or make a pre-arranged phone call for a chat with someone. Alternatively, he is about to go to another room or outdoors, for chore work while I, for instance, watch TV. A couple of minutes before I am ready to start, or he is about to depart, I will get bitch-boy to bring me a cup of tea or a glass of water. (This is usually by using a curt instruction, i.e. ‘Cup of tea, bitch.’) As soon as I hear he has placed the drink down, and always while I look elsewhere than at him, I use the curt dismissal, ‘Now fuck-off.’ I found it is quite easy to get into the habit of awareness that I am about to be in a different room to him for a while and, as soon as that awareness hits me, I wait until there is a couple of minutes to go, and then I curtly ask for my glass of water or cup of tea and, as soon as it is placed down, curtly tell him to, ‘Fuck-off’.………
…………………
……… If you are a Domme who really cannot swear that does mean, ironically, by not using swear-word curt dismissals, you will be missing out the most, exactly because if you do not ever swear, a swear-word curt dismissal will have even more impact. However, instead of ‘fuck-off’, you could try, ‘You’re dismissed’ or ‘Are you still here?’, or, ‘Get out of my sight.’ ……..
My Addendum No.1 is almost completed and I have been amazed to find it tops 50,000 words of techniques and sophistications of dominance not included in my original BDSM manual. I have been so fortunate that the four years since publishing my original manual have been brimming full of exchanges with other Dommes and subs in mainly long-term DS relationships; and the additional ways to apply dominance have flooded in!
This is an amendment paragraph to the first version of this post as a commenter raised an issue I feel well worthy of discussion. He felt I was lowering my stature by using the phrase, ‘Fuck-off.’ This is my view on this matter: I understand that when people use this term because that is the limit of their vocabulary, it indicates a poor education. When it is a chosen option from a large number of available options to the user, and it is selected precisely because it is offensive to the recipient to be so addressed, it does not indicate poor education. So I am truly interested to understand how you reason it lowers the user in stature and indeed how you define stature? Further, I think if dogma is put aside the measure of appropriateness is a personal thing between two people. bitch-boy knows I have an excellent vocabulary, he knows I could dismiss him with a wide selection of words. He knows I choose, ‘fuck-off’, because I know it will offend him and cause him to feel more disrespected than any other option. How does this lower me in status?
For info on my BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.
Mistress Scarlet's Blog 
Dear Ms Scarlet,
a suggestion, if I may: the ladies who don’t want to use swear words could also simply use the “dismissed” gesture as shown here: https://tenor.com/view/you-may-dismiss-queen-charlotte-golda-rosheuvel-bridgerton-back-off-gif-20242228
Actions sometimes speak louder than words.
Thank you. Excellent. I will add this.
yes this method is a very good way to keep your slave in proper attitude. I will add that my Queen uses a shock device to summoned her sissy/me she simply pushes a button on her little hand held remote and I receive an electrical zap!! directly on my private parts. This has me dropping what ever I was doing including sleeping and coming quickly to curtsey for instruction. Many times before I can get the proper curtsey done she will upon seeing me arrive say things like, coffee slut! or breakfast slut. or any number of things. this device is on my body 24/7 and almost everywhere we go. Bella, from Mistysbella.com
Does your Queen also use curt dismissals, and if so, which?
yes she has used some but often lately, she has been saying good job slut a lot. sometimes she will give a thumbs up gesture as well. It has an effect on me that I am not sure of. Perhaps if she reads this she may try some other things. ,,Bella
I am becoming less enamored of the statements like “Now fuck off.” It is dilutive; it lowers you in stature.
I understand that when people use this term because that is the limit of their vocabulary, it indicates a poor education. When it is a chosen option from a large number of available options to the user, and it is selected precisely because it is offensive to the recipient to be so addressed, it does not indicate poor education. So I am truly interested to understand how you reason it lowers the user in stature and indeed how you define stature?
Further, I think if dogma is put aside the measure of appropriateness is a personal thing between two people. bitch-boy knows I have an excellent vocabulary, he knows I could dismiss him with a selection of words, he knows I choose, ‘fuck-off’, because I know it will offend him and cause him to feel more disrespected than any other option. How does this lower me in status?
I absolutely love this! In the UK in particular, telling someone to fuck off conveys a deep lack of respect for the recipient and of course, in an FLR context, it both reminds the sub of his/her status and even worse, deprives them of the dominant’s presence, which they deeply crave. Deliciously humiliating!
Not really that I can think of for curt dismissals , I should tell her of this blog and perhaps she might find it amusing to use more dismissals in the future. this morning though after waking me to prepare her coffee, she did say go to bed slut then after I handed her her coffee, she slapped my ass with her hand quite hard. goes to show you a sissy can never really know what to expect right.,,,,Bella
“Now fuck off.”
You have such a wonderful vocabulary, and always display a level of class, that i have to say that i am a little surprised that You resort to such a curse word.
Cursing, to me, indicates a person is out of control. Thus it contradicts everything a Domina is about. Just my personal opinion.
PS – thanks for a great blog. i enjoy reading and re-reading the articles (love the search facility). i especially love the inclusion of other Dominas’ letters/posts.
I am always keen to learn with an open mind so would genuinely be keen to know your answer to the following:
Given you are clear that when I use the phrase to bitch-boy of, ‘Now fuck off,’ I am 100% in control of myself, and I am totally relaxed and contented, how do you find it reasonable or helpful to hold the ‘personal’ opinion you do?
You mention you use these curt dismissals on vanilla days which perhaps makes their effect even more cutting for bb.
Personally I think verbal put downs, whether direct or indirect, in their own way can be every bit as as demeaning, humiliating (and painful) as say 12 cuts from a lady owner’s thin cane or switch on the slave’s bare body. You posted a good example of a variation recently from a sister domme in a FLR who when getting her slave husband to check them into a hotel pointedly snapped at him within earshot of the female check-in clerk “isn’t there something you wanted to ask?” at which point presumably red-faced he had to ask the same female clerk if the room contained a iron!
I have another real life example of a verbal put down of a submissive male by a female but it’s probably too long-winded to write here?
I completely agree with you and would love to hear your real life example please.
I’ve posted elsewhere about an erstwhile female friend – let’s call her J (I probably called her another nom de plume earlier but “J” will do hopefully).
I first met J when I was working abroad and we worked in the same org. She was an attractive, vivacious 30 something, the single mother of 3 children having divorced her much weaker husband a a few years earlier. To compress a long story and a lot of detail J to this day remains the most naturally dominant female I’ve ever met (although the words “domme” and “sub” never once entered her vocabulary); she enjoyed and expressed in her behaviour a beautiful, natural, almost pathological sense of entitlement where men and her own interests were concerned..
In the course of her marriage J frequently and regularly cuckolded her former husband against his will for a number of years – while she made sure he remained faithful – culminating in HER initiating divorce proceedings the outcome of which left him both homeless and being forced to pay the mortgage on her large detached 3 bedroom property until their youngest child reached 18 years, which mean’t a 10 + years “sentence”. J off course got primary custody of their children who were all young.
J completely humiliated and emasculated her husband. Personally I think he was closet sub but that’s another story.
Which brings me to my point.
Given the terms of the divorce J’s ex couldn’t even afford to rent another property so for a while was reduced to renting a room in a married friend’s home. I never once heard J express any sympathy for his plight: quite the opposite. However sharing the parentage of 3 children mean’t they had to stay in touch including when after some years J’s ex actually manged to claw his way partially out of the financial hole into which J had plunged him and had even manged to hook up with another lady who had her own place which allowed J and the ex to share custody of the children.
J told me that on one particular occasion she went round to his place and while she was there the new lady friend had openly and loudly torn a strip off him right in front of her. The verbal abuse had been sustained and personal. J was smiling in delight as she told me the story especially when she said her ex had been cowed and humiliated right in front of her.
Sorry if I’ve gone on too long.
Is J without a submissive male?
Yes. As I said the concept of femdom and FLR was unknown to her. J and I are in different countries now tho we are still friends on social media (really more like acquaintances now). After her divorce she went through a number of male partners and boyfriends before settling on her current long term one. The first time I saw a picture of them together on I knew – I just knew- he fitted her type: pleasant and pliable. I’m as certain as I can be of anything that she’ll cuckold him – in fact knowing her as I do she probably has already.
I know not relevant to this thread but I saw this article about Findom and thought it might be of interest
Thank you so much. Fascinating. I will make a blog post of this!
Regarding Your question on curt dismissals, my answer would be yes, it would affect me. Why? Firstly, You are a true wordsmith and an intelligent articulate woman. Hence, those two words have more of an impact. Secondly, saying them to me while looking elsewhere emphasises my subservient status and the dismissal becomes even more demeaning.
Regards
Reblogged this on attis.