That 24/7/365 collar

Thank you so much to everyone who left comments on my previous post. These were very useful and so have helped me know exactly what I want in terms of a tightened up specification. I don’t rule out 2 or 3 collars I change on him at my whim from most comfortable to least comfortable.

  • 100% waterproof so it does not have to be removed for bathing or for sweaty exercise.
  • OK to sleep well in, even if it takes a few nights for him to habituate to it.
  • Not so bulky that it can’t be hidden by a polar necked sweater. Hopefully hidden by a thin rolled necked top.
  • Utilitarian and basic rather than pretty.
  • Not costing thousands!
  • Not bespoke as though he is something deserving of the effort and expense of custom made. He has to understand that he deserves only off-the-shelf.
  • Not so heavy and rigid that sores develop. His current rubber collar is of a very thick gauge of semi-rigid rubber and coming close to failing this criterion.
  • Capable of being locked by a standard padlock or a plastic, disposal, uniquely numbered padlock.

Regarding the last point on padlocking. I want him to be able to remove it in the event of an emergency, when I am not around . The key thing is avoiding a difficult situation from a surprise visit by vanilla neighbours/friends/relatives, a medical emergency, etc. I cannot see his thick polar necked sweater being feasible in the summer.

One commenter mentioned collars he could remove if he really wanted to, came nowhere near to having the effect on him as a collar he could not remove in any circumstances; which he has been now wearing permanently for many years. I do completely understand this, but it comes down to how each submissive’s mind works. And while all submissives seem to all be the same on the issue of craving above all else: A life of being helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel, dominant woman, how they get to feel helpless can depend on the submissive. For bitch-boy, if I utilise a uniquely numbered plastic padlock he can break if he likes, he still feels as profoundly dominated as if it were a brass padlock. This is because of two things.

Firstly, were he to break the padlock without a well proven, to me, reason I agree with, he knows the punishments would be truly terrible for him. And he knows I am well capable of enforcing punishments that are terrible for him. And he knows some of the punishments would not last just a day; there would probably be a year without an orgasm or longer, a year without ever seeing me naked or touching me in any way, etc, etc.

Secondly, he knows I could invoke the worst of all punishment; no domination of him at all for, say, a year. A totally vanilla life for a year. I could find a submissive female or use one of my email slaves to get my face to face DS kicks. He and I have already dealt with how much he needs my domination because I have become so terribly mean over the last 18 months, that he absolutely hates many of the things he suffers and would be truly happy if I never did a lot of them ever again. But I have recently given him the choice, domination my way, or I am happy to stop dominating him altogether. As I knew he would do, he chose my domination. (Which has rather given me free reign! We couldn’t be further from ‘safe-word playing’.)

So I am still looking for one or two collars that meet my specification. Even a heavy chain is worth an experiment I think. That would be a cheap experiment, and I could change the padlock at my whim to a very, very heavy padlock. But I like the idea of a solid collar too, so maybe I find a much lighter rubber collar than the heavy rubber collar I am using now. Certainly that still gives me the choice of changing the padlock at my whim to a very, very heavy padlock. Perhaps even adding a bell from time to time. And I may go with a selection of collars and I choose from the selection at my whim on any given day, but I am currently minded to prefer it to be a collar that almost NEVER comes off! One that comes off only for a few hours perhaps every three weeks or so and only in relation to our socialising with vanilla neighbours/friends/relatives, a medical emergency or examination, etc.

46 thoughts on “That 24/7/365 collar

  1. Dear Mistress Scarlett!

    Do you happen to have a boating / sailing supply store near you? One thing to consider might be a short piece of stainless steel wire rope with two swaged on termnals .. if you meassure the cirumfernece of his neck you can get that made to fit (and would not be very expensive).

    This is what it might look like in the end (with a bit more rope between, perhaps):

    I would suggest either a fork and eye terminal (as in the picture above), or two eye terminals.

    fork terminal:

    (the pin would be replaced with a little padlock)

    eye terminal:

    For the rope thickness a 3 or 4 mm would be more then enought and a 7*19 wire rope would be quite flexible.

    The same boating stores do also have stainless steel anchor chains available at low cost – a 6 mm chain would more than sufficient, a 8 mm would be very noticeable to the wearer, 10 or 12 mm are also usually available.

    Do be aware that the salespeople in such shops uusally know what non-sailers buy such stuff for (even if they do not show it) – you could of course send him there to buy it for himself (perhaps with a unlocked padlock, no keys and orders to put it on in the shop ..just make sure in advance that the hasp will fit through the eyes or the chain)



      1. Dear mistress Scarlett!

        If you need more information on this, please feel free to contact me (I used to sell this boating stuff mumbelty-mumble years ago 8) )



          1. Dear Mistress Scarlett!

            it is a process where the terminal is pressed onto the wire rope ..

            Originally the hole in the terminal that takes up the rope is sligthly larger than the oiter diameter of the rope.

            The rope is pushed into that hole and then the whole terminal is put into a special type of press (most often rolers that are hyraulicaly pressed inwards while the terminal+rope is pulled/pushed through.the machine).

            Afterwards the terminal has a somewhat reduced diameter (and a little bit more length) and is permanently connected with rope – if its done properly the union has the same or higher tensile strength than the wire rope.

              1. Dear Mistress Scarlett!

                Alas the neccessary tools are not found in the typical DIY toolbox.

                But if you give the boating shop the distance from the center of one hole of the terminal to the hole of the other terminal they should be able to order or manufacture this for you in a few days (usually took us about 4 working days to get it done) – a marina or shipwright might also have the necessary tool to do this.

                When measuring keep in mind that the terminals will not bend and are straight, so when locked around the neck you essentially end up with a teardrop shape.

                  1. Dear Mistress Scarlett,

                    would a more close fitting collar not even harder to hide? And the pear shape with the point on the upper breast usually is pretty anatomical in shape.



                    1. I really don’t know and it would be quite an expensive experiment to find out. But even if your suggestion doesn’t solve the collar issue I needed reminding about boat accessories online stores. I havent taken bb into such stores when visiting harbour settings where we come across them, (and bought the odd things as they are guaranteed never to rust. Although Covid has prevented holidays for so long now! But I had forgotten an online possibility. Thank you.

  2. “I have recently given him the choice, domination my way, or I am happy to stop dominating him altogether. As I knew he would do, he chose my domination.” I think this is the most fantastic and terrifying thing You have ever written! I’d love to read more about it if You feel there is a blog in there?

    1. It is perfect but I would rather buy in the UK to avoid customs checks and taxes. But thank you for showing me that exactly what I want is available. I wasn’t sure it would be.

  3. Leather really is best for long-term. The collar can be worn loosely 24\7 including for sleep until the leather softens, after which it can be tightened. A simple padlock buckle accommodates your fastening preference. Best of all, the sub’s skin begins to mark and indent over time – think of your watch wrist. It’s a gradual but forceful reminder.

    1. Thank you, but leather has to be removed for showering so it doesn’t work for my needs. Thank you again. I learn useful things from so many comments and I am intrigued about the sub’s skin begins to mark and indent over time. Hmmmmmmm.

  4. If the goal is to remind bb of his servitude while concealing that from others, have you considered either a lockable chain cilice or ankle bracelet?

    1. While I want him to have the humiliation of the collar in front of me, whenever he looks into a mirror, and when out doing his chores (plus the anxiousness then), your idea AS AN ADDITION TO A COLLAR is very tempting. Thank you. I could simply use a length of rust proof chain and one of my padlocks. Perhaps both ankles.

      1. This could be espcially good if they are rugged enough to use in some of the bondage predicaments You put him in. You would have easy, immediate access to ankle cuffs at all times!

      2. Take care with ankle chains etc. smallbear developed the start of achilles tendonitis from these a few years ago!

        1. Thank you for the advice. I think because the chains are very loose and not too heavy and I have him do at least three sessions of Pilates every week, he should be OK. I will monitor the situation though thank you.

  5. “Not bespoke as though he is something deserving of the effort and expense of custom made. He has to understand that he deserves only off-the-shelf.” < oh, cmon.

    anyway, even without going out to mingle with the people, you have to remove it, or at least loosen up, once in a while for cleaning, anyway. every minute of the day we lose about 30,000 to 40,000 dead skin cells off the surface of our skin. it will develop underneath the collar.

    also rash can develop on the skin when something is worn next to the skin 24/7 in real life and the skin underneath cant breathe.
    the itching feel from rash might make actually make him crazier than being pent-up.

    1. ‘…..Oh, C’mon……‘ What point are you discourteously making? Literally thousands can be spent on a custom made collar. he does not deserve that.
      And do I deserve this discourteous way to make a point? Have I been discourteous to you? This isn’t Facebook or Twitter.

      Despite your certainty, I haven’t had to loosen up what he has been wearing in the last 10 days, for any reason. He can just get a flannel between the collar and his skin to wash.
      What is it that will, ‘…will develop anyway….’???
      His skin underneath can breath.
      There is a gap and the position of the collar moves up or down a fraction depending on what he is doing. He doesn’t get any actual itching, but I notice him shifting it a little from time to time to make it more comfortable which pleases me each time.

          1. Thank You for letting me say it Mistress Scarlet. My heart races when you acknowledge me because I crave the attention of a strong strict woman like you. You are dominant and I am submissive. There is no woman in my life at his time. It is clear that You are the kind of woman who takes control. Coming into any contact with someone like You Mistress causes abject visceral subservient desires to immerge. Hope I said that correctly Mistress, i am not as articulate and intelligent as You. It is so wonderful that, for You Mistress, power and control give You stronger arousal and is an aphrodisiac. The way You express yourself, To quote You Mistress Scarlet, “he cannot help himself but be in awe of me and to worship me.” “A life of being in the power of a pitiless, cruel dominant woman.” “Domination my way or I am happy to stop dominating him altogether.” May i profess my love for You Ma’am. Your intelligence and dominant personality make You so desirable and attractive to a sub. It would be easy to go on and on in praise and adoration of You. Thank You for your time Mistress Scarlet. If only you could hear the sincerity in my voice.
            I acknowledge You in the most highest esteem.

            Respectfully and Sincerely, dennis

          2. Thank You for allowing me to say this Mistress Scarlet. You are a strong and strict woman. The kind of woman a sub dreams about. It would be easy to go on and on praising and adoring You Mistress. You are very highly esteemed and desired Ma’am. It gives this man great pleasure to to express his love for an intelligent and dominant woman like You. The way You enjoy having absolute power and the way You say things like “Domination my way, or I am happy to stop dominating him altogether.” “Helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel dominant woman.” You are so attractive and desirable Mistress Scarlet. Contact with You makes my subservient servile nature immerge with such willingness and motivation. Thank You for Your time Mistress. Please believe me when i say You are highly esteemed!!

            Respectfully and sincerely, dennis

  6. Dear Ms Scarlet,
    I realise the collar is now a problem solved, but returning to the “steel rope and swaging” discussion further up, I hoped I might contribute. Perhaps it could have an application in the future?

    It is possible to buy, quite cheaply from eBay, wire rope and aluminium or copper “crimps” or “ferrules”. These can be crimped over the wire using household pliers (long handled, “water pump” pliers work well) and the result is surprisingly strong, especially if two or more crimps are used next to each other. Obviously it depends on the gauge of wire and the ferrules that are used, but it can be easily made to resist hand strength or even scissors – wire cutters or pliers with side cutter blades would be needed. The result would look something like this:

    or search “wire rope crimp” on eBay.

    An advantage of this method over chain is the thin and supply nature of the wire – it can be threaded into, for example, the waist hem or collar of a dress, then the two crimped loops padlocked together to make something far more escape-proof than the kind of “lockable” garments sold online, which look like a strong pull would tear the stitched loops off. Or to replace the lacing in the back of a hood? Through the bottom hem of a hobble skirt? I’m sure your imagination is far better than mine!

    I can supply if photo of something like this if you like, but not for a few weeks I’m afraid – vanilla life is getting in the way! I could happily spend many more hours reading and commenting on your blog than I am usually able to.

    As ever, thank you for what is always such an informative and exciting read – you and your contributors are so kind to share so much of your lifestyles.

    Best wishes,

    1. Thank you. I really like this route of travel. To start with I am thinking thin stainless steel wire, cut to the exact length with a loop either end, to use instead of chain for the padlock and frenum piercing ring on his chastity device. Lots of other thoughts too.

    2. Dear Mistress Scarlet!

      The reason why i disd not mention this in my original post was twofold – the collar was specified to sit directly on the skin.

      Not only does the free end of the wire have sharp edges that might hurt the skin, the alloys used for the crimp ferules often contain problematic elements that might produce allegies.

      The swage terminals are acid-proof stainless steel and as inert as chirugical steel (or very close to that) and have no sharp edges, so should not produce any problems.

      Ropes with press terminals can also be boiught / ordered in any boating shop – often you can wait while they are made to your order.



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