Thank you so much to everyone who left comments on my previous post. These were very useful and so have helped me know exactly what I want in terms of a tightened up specification. I don’t rule out 2 or 3 collars I change on him at my whim from most comfortable to least comfortable.
- 100% waterproof so it does not have to be removed for bathing or for sweaty exercise.
- OK to sleep well in, even if it takes a few nights for him to habituate to it.
- Not so bulky that it can’t be hidden by a polar necked sweater. Hopefully hidden by a thin rolled necked top.
- Utilitarian and basic rather than pretty.
- Not costing thousands!
- Not bespoke as though he is something deserving of the effort and expense of custom made. He has to understand that he deserves only off-the-shelf.
- Not so heavy and rigid that sores develop. His current rubber collar is of a very thick gauge of semi-rigid rubber and coming close to failing this criterion.
- Capable of being locked by a standard padlock or a plastic, disposal, uniquely numbered padlock.
Regarding the last point on padlocking. I want him to be able to remove it in the event of an emergency, when I am not around . The key thing is avoiding a difficult situation from a surprise visit by vanilla neighbours/friends/relatives, a medical emergency, etc. I cannot see his thick polar necked sweater being feasible in the summer.
One commenter mentioned collars he could remove if he really wanted to, came nowhere near to having the effect on him as a collar he could not remove in any circumstances; which he has been now wearing permanently for many years. I do completely understand this, but it comes down to how each submissive’s mind works. And while all submissives seem to all be the same on the issue of craving above all else: A life of being helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel, dominant woman, how they get to feel helpless can depend on the submissive. For bitch-boy, if I utilise a uniquely numbered plastic padlock he can break if he likes, he still feels as profoundly dominated as if it were a brass padlock. This is because of two things.
Firstly, were he to break the padlock without a well proven, to me, reason I agree with, he knows the punishments would be truly terrible for him. And he knows I am well capable of enforcing punishments that are terrible for him. And he knows some of the punishments would not last just a day; there would probably be a year without an orgasm or longer, a year without ever seeing me naked or touching me in any way, etc, etc.
Secondly, he knows I could invoke the worst of all punishment; no domination of him at all for, say, a year. A totally vanilla life for a year. I could find a submissive female or use one of my email slaves to get my face to face DS kicks. He and I have already dealt with how much he needs my domination because I have become so terribly mean over the last 18 months, that he absolutely hates many of the things he suffers and would be truly happy if I never did a lot of them ever again. But I have recently given him the choice, domination my way, or I am happy to stop dominating him altogether. As I knew he would do, he chose my domination. (Which has rather given me free reign! We couldn’t be further from ‘safe-word playing’.)
So I am still looking for one or two collars that meet my specification. Even a heavy chain is worth an experiment I think. That would be a cheap experiment, and I could change the padlock at my whim to a very, very heavy padlock. But I like the idea of a solid collar too, so maybe I find a much lighter rubber collar than the heavy rubber collar I am using now. Certainly that still gives me the choice of changing the padlock at my whim to a very, very heavy padlock. Perhaps even adding a bell from time to time. And I may go with a selection of collars and I choose from the selection at my whim on any given day, but I am currently minded to prefer it to be a collar that almost NEVER comes off! One that comes off only for a few hours perhaps every three weeks or so and only in relation to our socialising with vanilla neighbours/friends/relatives, a medical emergency or examination, etc.