Below are several sets of correspondence strings with others in the lifestyle. My blog followers may find these exchanges interesting.


Here is the account of Madame Vittoria and Sissy Debbie. I provided my advice, for what it was worth, and the results and exchanges I think will be of interest.

I begin the account of Sissy Debbie’s changed regimen with his ‘listing of the rules’, and I end the account with his latest email, hinting at anxious regrets over his more extreme current levels of subjugation – and what the future holds.

How many times need I shout to subs – ‘BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR.’ But even on hearing those words, poor little precious subs just get even more aroused!


……….. I’ve gone through the standard day in our home, as you know life happens and nothing is ever standard. Next I will list my standard rules. Which is where Mistress is struggling, she can’t seem to remember to enforce them, and she’s always struggled with her memory. Punishments for infractions are another area she struggles, actually checking my chores, coloring, etc. My bottom should have been nearly bleeding this week, to be honest with you…and it was hardly reddened. Most of this simply slips her mind, and I know she hates it.

Evolving rules:


Diapers are to be worn 24/7, no exceptions. The only exception might be in the presence of friends of family.

-No touching, tampering, or removing of the diapers without permission is ever permitted.

-Asking to be changed or mentioning the diaper is dirty is forbidden and will delay the diaper change.

-While in the house the diaper must be visible, no shorts or pants can cover it.


-The chastity device will be worn 24/7.

-The anti-pull out pin shall be removed at night while the thick diaper is on.

-The device is never to be removed, unless being milked or tortured or the rare permitted full orgasm.

-No asking for the device to be removed, asking results in 25 cane strokes and a coating of deep heat.


-Currently no rules, shes discussed maid uniforms and dresses yet has not followed through yet.


-All liquids in the home must be consumed from a sippy cup or bottle, no exceptions


-Coloring outside the lines is 25 cane strokes.

-No other rules in this area, thankfully I don’t have dolls to talk to!


-Must always address Mistress as ‘Mistress A’.

-Must ask permission properly to ask a question.

-Must ask to leave the room.

-Sissy shall only speak when spoken to.

House rules

-Sissy shall not sit on furniture.

-Must greet Mistress A upon arriving home by kissing her feet and asking about her day.


Ms. Scarlet,

I am the mistress of Debbie. You may call me Vittoria if you like.

Debbie told me that he spoke with you and he informed me of the suggestions you had which I appreciated.

I would like to give you a tiny bit of background- I’m sure deb told you that we have started and stopped multiple times and this is sort of my last attempt at the lifestyle. I want so badly to be really good at this but I have the worst memory and I just feel like I don’t have time to properly live the lifestyle. I don’t like half assing anything- that shit pisses me off, but it has been very difficult with this new job to get into a really good smooth rhythm.

So before I go any further, let me at least answer the questions you had for deb.

How often are you permitted a full orgasm.  – he has been given one ruined orgasm since this restarted.. Just a few weeks ago. I think I will keep him at one orgasm a week for the time being Unless he does something terrible.  12. You have not mentioned your Mistress’s orgasms – number or how?

– he has given me no orgasms. I play with myself sometimes or use my vibrator but I consider myself to be weird since I am not really able to have a full orgasm from anything other than full penetration- whether it’s a dildo or male… I know it’s weird I’ve always had that problem and most women have the exact opposite problem of only being able to get off with clitorial pleasure..

I do plan to make Debbie start giving me more orgasms but I have been trying to just make sure I am staying on top of the punishments and all the damn rules I came up with.

I do have some questions for you… If you don’t mind and have the time to answer.

I know he said I’m a sadist- I corrected him- I’m not yet, that’s not possible until you have some more experience, in my personal opinion.

I do truly enjoy smacking him with the cane and paddle but from what I read I should be doing it opposite? I will try that tonight because he has only had bruising one time from caning so I knew I was obviously not doing something right.

How do you really get them scared? I want him to be scared of me but I do not think I will ever take it to the extremes you do in your journals I’ve read- no offense- from what I’ve read you know that each person has their own style and extent of what they would like to do with their sub.

I know caning the right way should help and I think the TSD does seem to work. I use to use this woman’s site called E Succubus for TSD tracks and omg it was amazing!!! I noticed a huge difference in slave when I forced him to Listen to those tracks all the time. I’m going to make it a priority to download and have him listen to those again.

Any other suggestion you have please let me know!

Thank you so much!

I know yu had some concerns about us being ” real ” I could understand that you probably get a shit ton of fake idiots that just jerk off to you even talking to them. I assure you I am real. I do not want any of our pictures posted ( unless you can’t see faces, etc) but I will try my best to send you some of either me or him or both of o have time tonight.

That’s my last question- how do you find the time and energy to do all this?! Your journals make it seem like it is lie rally constant in your lives… Seems like that could get exhausting for you, aye?!

Thanks again! Hope to hear from you soon!



Ms Scarlet wrote:

Thank you for mailing me. I really want to help you enjoy the lifestyle. I believe you are real. I can see you have all the fantastic attributes you need to be an awesome and contented lifestyle Domme.    I will start with the fundamentals. These are my theories but they are supported by the evidence of hundreds of submissive males (and females) telling me, through my blog, that I understand 100% what true submissives need. That I really get it. BTW, it seems from countless reports to me that a ‘true’ submissive realises they are a submissive before puberty.

So: A true submissive needs to feel they are helplessly under the control of a sadistic dominant. That they have zero power or influence. That is achieved by two things.

(A) Punishments for infractions have to be truly feared by the sub. This is achieved by not stopping the punishment until the sub is and has been truly begging with all their heart for a few minutes for the punishment to stop. My lifestyle did not click into place until I started doing this 6 or 7 years ago. It is easy to judge when the begging has reached the truly heartfelt, and then you keep going for a while. You will not break or damage him. During the punishment, he will be begging and attempting to have you stop. After it, he will be in awe of you and want to worship you. Bind him so he cannot move, gag him and then apply the punishment. It may only need to be six HARD cane strokes, if he is begging with all his heart after the first. If he has marks on his butt for the rest of the day, he will love that. If the marks last 3 days, he will love it even more.

(B). The true submissive has to undergo things they really do not like. By this, it is reinforced that they have zero power or influence, that they are helplessly under the control of a sadistic dominant. It seems you already do this. Your sub truly does not like his colouring-in time, his straight jacket time, the Deep Heat, etc.   A sadist is someone who gets pleasure inflicting pain. The pain can be mental pain or physical pain.

I am assuming you get pleasure from having him deeply humiliated – that means you are a sadist enjoying inflicting mental pain. I am assuming you get pleasure applying the deep heat and seeing the results. That means you are a sadist – enjoying inflicting physical pain. That is good.   I think your big problem is that you need to understand that the regime needs to be just what YOU WANT it to be, and no more. As long as the regime includes –  Punishments for infractions truly feared by the sub, and, Him undergoing things he really does not like.

You can have just one or two rules – that are your favourites. Drop all the rest. I started with just two rules. After a while I became conditioned to always be aware of them. Then I added another, then in time, I added another. You only need to have and enforce the rules that bring you pleasure.    It does not need to be every day. You could decide that you will not be doing Domme stuff Monday to Thursday. You will probably then find yourself looking forward to Friday. The lifestyle has to be a pleasure, not a chore.

If you are busy, incorporate him making your life easier in your lifestyle. He should do all housework, laundry, and tidying up. There is the ‘tidying up after’ regime. Tidying up after is addictive. I use the bathroom and leave it in a mess, it had better be tidied to perfection before I use it again. I change out of my work clothes and throw them on the bed – they better be hung up and tided away PDQ. I do some baking which I enjoy – and leave the kitchen in a terrible mess – it gets tided up PDQ. I read the weekend papers and supplements and throw those I have finished with on the floor or wherever – they get tidied up. I do my exercises and drop sweaty clothes and socks and trainers on the floor wherever I take them off, they get put in the laundry. I open a package received in the post and drop the packaging to the floor – it gets picked up and dealt with. So anything I leave out gets put away, any mess I make gets cleaned up. In your situation, this might help your wife feel less tired too.

There is also AUTOMATIC REPLENISHING . Automatic replenishing means nothing your wife wants ever runs out. So if chilled wine in the fridge is running low, a new bottle is put in the fridge to chill – ready for when needed. If her phone battery is running low, it gets recharged. Fuel in the car is low, it gets a refill. Basically nothing she ever needs runs out. Once you have experienced this as a wife, it is hard to go without it. It can also be a great way to invoke punishment. So many things need replenishing each day/week – if the slave forgets one ever – serious punishment time! And it is the slave’s job to predict what and when – not the wife’s.

So the regime should make your life easier and be a pleasure. I LOVE my life. It is no effort at all. For instance, do not have a blog you have to contribute to, or read, if you are short of time! You are so close to having what you want. Let me know where what I have said conflicts with your feel about the whole thing.

Kind regards Scarlet

Some links


Hello Scarlet,

Thank you so much for taking the time for your response! I don’t feel that anything you have said conflicts with my feelings and where I want this to go in the future, which is good.

I have taken your advice and have honed in on three rules, diapers must always be worn except during his time at work/ the office and he is never to ask if he can be changed, he must greet me when I arrive from work- by curtsying and kissing my feet, and he sleeps in his crib Sunday through Thursday.

I’m going to see how the next couple of weeks go and then go from there. Your punishment rule is really good and for any infractions I will put those into place. I really love humiliating him so his pretty pink dress with hand cuffs and a bonnet came in today, he will be wearing that tonight, to start the week off right! I will also still incorporate some TSD and other measures I feel are important until we get into a good rhythm.

Do you ever have days were you just don’t do anything other than “hang out” with your sub? I have read a lot of your journal entries and I know they are mainly geared towards your time during the Dom/Sub life – as vanilla life can be boring of course! – I guess my question is do you and bitch boy ever just go to the movies and have date nights or dinner out, just the two of you?

One of my biggest fears is losing that part of our relationship even though I do love and admire the domme lifestyle, I also really enjoy our vanilla time together as well. Which would be hard to lose. I guess considering how often we see our families and have cookouts and dinner but I’m sure you get my drift.

Also what about your work life? I thought I remember you saying in one of the early journals you both had pretty esteemed jobs, does that ever affect this lifestyle? Work trips and such?

I think I most enjoy when he has pain inflicted- but I also want to be really good at mind fucking him so that he will be scared when I say something specific for example, if I tell him he better go dust every bookshelf in the house and if I find one dust bunny his ass will be red for a week. I want him to literally be so fearful that he dusts everything 3 times before I check… I want to know how I can do that to his mind!

Thank you again, I may be sending you a picture of him in a pink girls maid outfit! Hehe! I am very excited to have him try it on with all the fun crinoline I made for his last maids uniform.

Cheers! Talk soon!!




Yes there are many times when I don’t do anything other than “hang out” with my sub. Sometimes I get home from work and tell him that I can do whatever I want with him because I own him and tonight I am going to use him for his vanilla company. It’s that simple for me. Same for a family or work do. bitch-boy is very intelligent and cultured so if watching a film or eating out at a good restaurant I want his vanilla company, his interesting and wise thoughts on what we are experiencing.

If we eat at a good hotel, I will tie him up and gag him on the bed at say, 6:00pm. I will give him a harsh dose of dickie-discipline. I will orgasm. Then I will release him and I tell him I now want his vanilla company while we eat the meal.

You can only have him as scared as you would like, by the severity of your punishment. Whether that is the cane, months with only spoiled orgasms, 6 hours in TSD bondage or whatever.   I would love to see photos of each of you. Photos paint a thousand words, as they say.



Hey again,

That is wonderful advice, thank you so much! I will think about this for a little bit and then figure out exactly what I would like to do with him from here out. I know it will change in time but for now, denying him at least 7 days at a time is pretty painful. I will probably start upping the time frame In a couple weeks.

Depending on what time my friends leave tonight he will be outfitted in his new get up and clean the entire house after we make a huge mess of crafty things. One thing I most enjoy in life is sewing… I will probably be making him some outfits soon; I just haven’t had the time. I feel that what I’ll be implementing from now on will leave me with plenty of time to do the things I love.

Pictures will come soon. I can promise you!

Thank you!

Also what is the time difference with us? Right now it is Sunday, October, 18, 5:00 pm. I have never Checked the time zone of the U.K.



Ms Scarlet wrote:

Something I forgot to mention. When my female slave first came to visit me, she told me she could only orgasm through penetrative stimulation and not by clitoral. I made her cum with clitoral stimulation alone using my Magic Wand vibrator. Have you tried one. They are fantastic!    Scarlet


Thank you for the advice!

I am attaching a photo of shit boy as I’m calling him right now, due to an incident earlier. Hahahaha

I know he mentioned that I like changing his dirty diaper ( or nappy as you refer to it) and in all honesty I actually don’t mind it so much. This may be because I use to work with disabled children and would have to change 5-10 year olds diapers so it doesn’t bother me much. I mean don’t get me wrong – it is fucking disgusting. But I get so much joy over how humiliated he is when I say ” okay, have you pooped yourself yet? You have to make a big poopy before we can change you.” The despair that is shown through his eyes is probably equivalent to when one of your sister talks  down to bitch boy.

It’s hard to explain in words but last night I got a huge jolt of pleasure that ran over me the one time I actually hit him hard with the cane. I think my cane is why too skinny. It is extremely difficult to smack him where I am aiming and I accidentally went across the Back of his legs. I know it was terrible but I didn’t let up for the last few strokes. He was literally quivering and it made me happy.

Once I’m finished with his dress I will send you another picture hehehe. Have a great day!


Ms Scarlet wrote:

Hi Loved the photo. That is an amazing straight-jacket. Top quality. And he is put to bed in that Sunday through Thursday. What time is he put to bed? And deep heat is used every time he is put to bed?   So are you going past what he is comfortable with when using the cane now?   You seem to be an excellent Mistress.   Scarlet



Haha thank you! He is not sleeping in that every night. It is definitely a great quality jacket- it is actually an institutional grade and I believe was kind of custom, it fits perfectly. And was VERY expensive. once he is a little more accustomed to it I will have him sleep Sunday through Thursday in that, but I noticed in the past when he slept in the jacket it really affected his day job because he was so sleep deprived. I would be more likely to start off on some weekends with him in it all night.

So I’ll just quickly walk you through what I did last night.

– after he was done with all his chores and dinner, I took off his chastity and put him into the jacket.

– I teased and denied him for only a few minutes ( bc I had to see so I didn’t have a lot of time to waste)

– I inserted the anal plug and then put deep heat on him, it got all over the place bc he squirmed and he was in even more pain bc of himself- which I laughed pretty hard at.

– I left him in there for about an hour and half while I did my sewing

– when I returned I took off the jacket, put his restraint and diaper right back on and then locked him into his crib.

– I use an ankle restraint, it seems to do the job and is cumbersome since he likes sleeping on his stomach or side. But it lets him get enough rest to where he is able to function at his job.

If he didn’t bring home the majority of the income, I would probably not care less about his job but 1. He makes a substantial amount more than I do. 2. He truly loves and has passion for his job. That is a rarity – at least in our opinions- so I do not want to take that away by any means.

I do intend to start having him sleep in the jacket through the night on weekend nights- he doesn’t know about this yet.

I’m going to see how this goes. So far I have had enough time to get my sewing done (while he is put away- which is very nice) so I intend to increase our activity once I get to a good point.

Also, yes he was taken aback by how hard I caned him and quivered so I think I finally did a good job. I still think my cane is too thin bc it doesn’t leave a good strong mark on his ass. Even when I hit him significantly.

Thanks, talk soon..


Hi It sounds like you do need a new cane, although as long as you can make him really, truly want to avoid a caning, then the standard is achieved – as long as that satiates your sadism as well, of course.   Its such a pleasure getting on with whatever you want while they are in their TSD bondage isn’t it. Relaxing and doing what we want and knowing we have our little toy upstairs all helpless and enduring, and he will be there until it is our whim to release him. I think I am beginning to get a clear picture of your current regime now.

Please let me know all about dressing him up in his little girl dress when that happens. Photos too if poss. I would love to be a seamstress like you. I do love the dresses that only come down to their hips. The drawing in my post    is how I most like bitch-boy to look. No wonder he trembles with shame when introduced to a new female acquaintance of mine.   It sounds like you are continuing to make great choices with your regime.



Thank you! You make me feel so much better about this! I’m at work now so I can’t talk much but here are some photos for you to enjoy!!!

I’ll send more pics and message you later when I get home!




How is it going? It has been a while since we’ve talked. It has been a rough week. Little Debbie was out of town for half of the week due to work. I made him keep his chastity on and packed some diapers.

Today, I’m having him write down a list of rules for his dolly. We have a short day since we both have to leave but he’s in his diaper and maids uniform until I have to go baby sit my nephew.

I read one of the chapters in one of your journals and saw your devoted to dolly day. I’m going to slowly be starting something similar. We got the most awesome pop up princess board game and I made him play it the other night. He was playing with dolly, it was so humiliating. It was great!

Please feel free to give me any other advice going forward! Thanks!!!



Ms Scarlet wrote:

Its lovely to hear from you. I do intend to make a blog post from our exchanges. Is that OK with you. And is it OK with you if I use some of the photos you have sent. Just for my interest/amusement, can I ask, was he truly, deeply humiliated? And if so, did that give you real heartless pleasure.   One thing that kills my poor bb, is to have him talk to his dollies in a lisp, looking into their faces, and then pretend to be the dolly talking back to him. If you have not tried that, you could.

I might say to him:   ‘Pansy, ask dolly if she likes you playing with her.’ He then has to look dolly in the face and say –   ‘Thuzette Thimperkinth, do you like playing with me?’ And then pretending to be her answering him, say, ‘Yeth, Belindakinth, I do like you playing with me.‘   It just destroys him.   Scarlet


Yes, I made him copy most of your rules down for me and the I tweaked them to meet my wants/needs. I don’t mind if you use the photos but please make sure you crop out as much of the flooring or background as possible. Just to make sure no one that I know sees it without me letting them. We are pretty private about this lifestyle- I don’t believe it is as accepted in the US as it is in some countries.

He just got done playing pop up princess game and he now is coloring with dolly. We finally gave her a deserving name. Prissy Pants Patricia. It is seriously hilarious to hear him Lisp It!!!! It’s awesome.. I believe this is the most humiliated he had been to date. Earlier I gave him the “option” to choose what the rest of his night was like (knowing that I would pick the alternative to whatever he said) he chose TSD, so of course he had to play with dolly for an hour and then color with her.. It was great!!


My apologies for the time between installments, Mistress has given me permission to write you with an update on my life since her correspondence with you began. I can preface this email that I just arrived home and for the remainder of the day Mistress reminded me I must put on my diaper, and had to send a picture upon arriving. This has brought me much misery since last night while I was playing Pop Up Magic Castles with Prissy Pants Patricia (my dolly). I soiled my diaper terribly, turning me an even deeper shade of red. I was placed in my crib with my soiled nappy to stew in my filth all night. I truly do hate my diapers now, I hope Mistress will stop using them but I fear they will be a close companion of mine for a long, long time.

Mistress has simplified the rules, and has truly taken the approach that it is for her pleasure, not mine. Which has brought her a greater joy than I have ever seen from her. As I previously stated we have tried dozens of times to enter this lifestyle, failing each time. This time, I fear is much different. In the past when I got sick of wearing diapers, I could always be assured that within a few weeks Mistress would get frustrated and end the process. I also knew being a brat would frustrate her enough to end it and I wouldn’t have to endure my treatment any longer. No more uncomfortable chastity devices, and I would get to have sex! Mistress loves sex, and in the past I feel I spent more time behind a computer than enjoying her amazing body- oh what I wouldn’t give to be able to enjoy it at my whim again, I abused that.

However this time is so much different, it seems she is much more serious, there is an evil look in her eye when she spanks me or applies deep heat- she gets a deep satisfaction from me suffering, which worries me.  My whining is met with punishment, though she is still not that good with a cane. (Perhaps a skype instructional canning session? Apologies that was a joke! I’m terrified of what it will be like when she learns how to use it).  She never gives in to my pleas now. I’m in my crib three nights out of the week which I so desperately hate. I don’t like sleeping alone! She kept coming back into the nursery to make sure I was cuddling with my doll last night. I fear the level of control will only increase!

My milkings have all been ruined orgasms, nowhere near as satisfying as the real thing, or as sex! She jokes how I will never have sex again, and how she will want to find another boyfriend one day. This scares me deeply. The thought of her sleeping with another man is terrifying. If she had a girlfriend, albeit humiliating, that would be something I would feel better about. Though I do not think her sexual preference leans that way, which worries me even more. I miss having sex so bad. I’m horny all the time! Every time I see a female’s ass in public or on television my cage throbs, then thoughts race in on what if others see me like this. Though I mention my fear of this quite often, she has not brought up bringing in anyone else.

I think that would be the worst thing possible, I don’t understand how bitch boy survives multiple women, I think I would turn to liquid and seep into the floor. I try and play out in my mind who, if anyone, and I can’t fully think of any of her friends she would want to share my demise with. Our hair stylist is a long time friend, who is very, how do you say it, kinky? And you can simply tell by how she dresses, in a very dark manner, if she isn’t a Domme I would be very surprised. Last night playing Pop Up Princess Castle with the doll, it crossed my mind- how would you do this in front of other females? I don’t think I could.

Perhaps the biggest change I have seen is her persistence, she’s beginning to become relentless in my torment. Sitting on the couch laughing while I conversed (albeit poorly) with the doll, it just made me feel awful. My new outfit has arrived, a pink maids dress which she hemmed to be even shorter to show off my nappy, which is now covered with a satin pink diaper cover with lace across the back- it’s simply awful to wear. Thankfully no wig, make up, or massive eye lashes have been deployed! She laughs so much when my outfit is placed on me. Comments such as, “Why on earth would I have sex with someone in a diaper, I have no desire to ever do that:” really cut me down. She has not given an inch through this process.

I get texts throughout the day, “you need to come to terms with your new life”, amongst other things. Perhaps the most scariest moment was an argument we got in. She shouted “you can get your diaper and dress on, or you can leave.” I don’t know fully what the word leave meant, but I was quickly pulled into the nursery where she, while I was still diapered, put on my straight jacket very tight, sinched and strapped my isolation hood around my head tighter than ever, shoved me into my crib and said “you can lay there and think about how you acted towards me, and how sorry you are, this is your new life…except it”… she left me there for over an hour.

Sissy Debbie


ORIGINAL FIRST STRING  – sissy-maid Tiffany and Mistress Serena.

Ms Scarlet *curtsy* As Serena (my MistressWife) and i explore Your blog further, W/we continue to be both impressed and inspired by the content. On the subject of this post You may be interested to know of O/our scenario. Serena has kept me in chastity for over twelve years. ( A CB3000, followed by a CB6000s ) She made it clear when She cuckolded me, that my days of lovemaking and specifically masturbation were over. Being kept chaste has made me more respectful, more obedient, and much more keen to obey Her and carry out my duties (housework, servitude and submission). She allows me relief every 10-12 weeks as deemed fit. The CB6000s i wear is efficient as it is only 2.5″ and prevents sufficient arousal. It is also a vast improvement on the old CB3000 as it is much healthier and easy to maintain. i suspect i am of a very similar ilk to bitch-boy, as i too crave to satisfy my deep submissive nature (which i can recall starting when i was 8 years old, and can remember specific events that back this up ). Your blog has been a godsend as it has highlighted many, many similarities in what we seek to achieve. W/we have purchased the required items to experiment with the TSD bondage and Serena is keen to start a new chapter in O/our lifestyle. Thank You Serena & tiffany

Mistress Scarlet *curtsy* Well, after many, many years of being a sissy maid to my MistressWife, Serena, tomorrow will see a fresh renewal and approach thanks to Your influence. tiffany will become more a sissy boi, similiar in role to bitch boy. Mistress Serena has acquired all the items necessary for TSD bondage ( with one differential….a spreader bar will have to suffice instead of stirrups). W/we had a trial run today and all fell into place so tomorrow my renewed training will commence. She intends applying a real “introduction” punishment (as suggested in Advice to a Domme. Nov 2013), followed by a 3 hour TSD bondage session. i have seen the Deep Heat Max Strength on Her dresser, and have noted the suitably filled ice cube tray in freezer. i look forward to morning with a mix of excitement and fear.

Among the many ideas You have given Her, is the idea of short skirts and dresses with nothing beneath ( i have almost always worn panties and knickers ), She has informed me that this will become commonplace in future. As commented elsewhere, i have been chaste for well over ten years and have not been allowed penetrative sex in that time. She has a lover for that purpose. She intends to continue using me as Her maid, in addition to sissy girl & baby as the mood takes Her. Your blog has been a great boost to O/our ongoing relationship and W/we are both most grateful.

MsScarlet curtsy Hello Mistress, i hope You dont mind my writing and contacting You (here on Fetlife). i am not very familiar with the site despite being a member for some time. It is most pleasing to be able to contact You as i wanted to pass on a few comments direct to You and bitch boy rather than through Your blog. First of all, may W/we, Serena and i thank You genuinely and sincerely for Your blog and influence. W/we have over O/our three decades of marriage had many ups and downs regarding O/our D/s roles (in part due to family & work comittments). i have been a tv/sissy/sub all my adult life and submissive to women since 8 yrs old. However, since discovering and perusing Your blog a few weeks back, O/our D/s roles have really taken purpose and form. In the past i wanted to be the “perfect” sissy, with make up, attire etc in immaculate order, but time wasnt always available for such preparation. In turn Serena wasnt strict or cruel enough to impose Her will, or fully control me. Your blog has supplied the answer on that count, and W/we thank You. . i now serve Serena as Her sissy/bitch boy in a similar manner to (Your) bitch boy. ( in fact She has unintentionally started addressing me as bitch boy) It is indeed early days, but W/we are both delighted with recent developments. ( W/we both have full time work, Serena works night shifts, and my work is physical). W/we want You to know that my (our) posts on Your blog are genuine and not fantasy, and W/we are 100% honest. (with poetic licence for effect). If it is possible to send pics here ( ? ) then i shall send an occaisional pic to display O/our progress. . i shall close for now as i do not wish to bore You or prolong unnecessarily, but i hope You will welcome further communication, and i shall further detail O/our developments.

Thank You for Your time, and please send my regards to bitch boy.

Yours respectfully,


Excellent:—- Mistress Scarlet curtsy Things continue to progress daily and improve likewise. Yesterday was a full days session with chores, punishment and a TSD bondage period (3+ hours), followed by more housework and chores. ( i was given a total of 24 strokes of Her paddle, and 30 strokes of Her crop before bondage, but the most severe punishment was applied late afternoon, post TSD when i failed to clean the fridge sufficiently, Serena was fuming, and applied a harsh 12 strokes of her heavy wooden paddle) A sign of O/our progress is highlighted by the fact that when on “long day” shifts at work (7.30am/8.30pm), i used to remain in bed whilst Serena prepared for work. This is no longer the case. i now arise at 5.30am and prepare Her tea and run Her a bath. i serve tea and assist dressed in my pink rustly nylon overall, pink mop cap and white frilly apron. i then assist Her further and do kitchen work when relative. i am about a third of the way through Vol.6 ( Just read Winter Default Rules)…it is awesome. i am totally inspired, and Mistress Serena is finding both the content and relative results most satisfying. Alas, i must close now, i have both chores and work to attend. W/we are expecting Vol7 to arrive today, so something to look forward to after work. If i may, i shall write further and more detail soonest. Yours in respect and obedience, tiffany

FROM MISTRESS SCARLET: In reply to tiffany.

Thank you for the kind words. Mistress Serena sounds like someone I would love to be in the company of. I would love to hear more about your forthcoming experiences of the fresh approach. lease leave further comments.

Mistress Scarlet *curtsy* Thank You for showing interest in O/our fresh approach, i hope my reports do suitable justice. Sunday arrived, and i awoke early, spent some time pottering in the garden to work off nervous energy. After a regular start i was then set to task, preparing for the day ahead. i prepared the relevant items and dressed as Serena had commanded, in panties, corset and stockings. I then spent an hour in the corner while Mistress Serena prepared Herself. At 10am She entered the room in confident attire and a mood to match. Ordered to crawl before Her , She addressed me on the matter of O/our new regime based on “Mistress Scarlets Blog”. Inspired, She informed me that it would be a much more demanding and painful scenario than anything W/we had previously ventured upon. i was given the opportunity to choose whether to continue or decline. Of course i selected to continue. She then presented me with a new pink Italian Leather collar, which now represents Her ownership of Her sissy boi. Freshly shaven, She removed my panties and CB6000s and had me clean myself. Following further instruction i was soon placed in semi bondage, ass raised and gagged awaiting my “real” punishment. Well, Mistress Scarlet, She has indeed taken note of Your blog and advice. The 25 strokes i was expecting turned out to be 25 strokes of Her paddle, followed by 40 strict strokes of Her crop. So to the TSD bondage. Mistress Serena had no problem whatsoever replicating the same setting as You do Mistress, with the exception of stirrups, a firmly fixed spreader bar was used instead. I was soon flat on bed, dressed in stockings and corset. my head held in a head harness (ball gag harness minus the gag) a funnel connected to the harness. Blindfolded with both a rubber and leather blindfold, hands firmly cuffed inside leather mittens and attached to a belt around my waist, ankles cuffed to the spreader bar. Ear plugs and ear protectors all but deafened the sound. She replaced my collar for a Posture Collar. (It is an excellent form of bondage for many occaision and uses) Mistress Serena then amazed me, taking the funnel from harness, She immediately took Her pleasure, which caused me to arouse, though it wasn’t long before my tongue ached and i was struggling. To no avail She continued until satisfied, She then teased my sissy clit, and moments later the Heat Rub Max Strength was applied ! Whilst i tried to struggle with the burning She left the room and returned with Her “special” ice cubes. Funnel replaced, two or three cubes were placed within. For three hours i suffered as Your bitch boy does. Occaisionally She slapped my clitty and balls with a wooden spatchelor. The Heat Rub and the ice cubes were constantly renewed throughout. The only minor adjustment throughout was Mistress was forced to tighten my belt as it slid lower and i all but managed to touch my clitty, but this was soon halted and a slapping persued. After three hours, Serena released my aching body, and immediately replaced my chastity cage, and gave me a further 12 strokes of Her crop…”to keep me keen”. From 2pm until 10pm i attended house chores throughout, in a pink noisy rustly nylon house coat , collar and pink mop cap (no panties). Punishments came frequently for minor infringements, and i was very sore, and very tired by bedtime. i was put in Punishment panties (hessian) and bra overnight. Mistress Serena has certainly take heed of Your advice Mistress Scarlet, and W/we have yet to fully peruse the blog, or purchase Your journals. It may be of interest (and amusement) to know Mistress Serena has today set off for a short break with Her lover. I was set the task of transplanting several stinging nettle plants from a friends garden into pots and inevitably managed to get stung several times, some of which still linger as i write this 4 hours later. Oh how i dread their forthcoming growth, and how on earth will i cope with them in a clitty pouch ! i have lots more to report, but suspect this is already way too long. Suffice to say Mistress Scarlet Your suggestions and advice are not being ignored!

FROM MISTRESS SCARLET: | In reply to tiffany.

I cannot pretend that I do not love that another Mistress is following some of my favourite past times. Mistress Serena appears more cruel than me – you should be very grateful! As I commented before, I think she and I would greatly enjoy time together. I very much enjoyed hearing of your session/day. Please let me know of further developments.

A Week On…… and all is progressing well. Mistress Serena has been away with Her lover for part of that period. However, She has most definitely engaged in Her renewed approach. She is more strict, more demanding and more actively involved. In turn, i am doing more housework, chores and work, i am attending Mistress as She demands and doing my utmost to make Her life more enjoyable. She has welded Her cane, paddle and crop frequently, but i am responding positively and She is, dare i say, very pleased with O/our progress. She has planned my second TSD bondage session for later today, after i spend the bulk of Sunday (today) doing further chores.
FROM MISTRESS SCARLET: | In reply to tiffany.

All very wonderful. I salute Mistress Serena, she is crueller than me!

Excellent news Mistress Scarlet that your latest journal is now published. i have instructed tiffany to order a paperback copy without delay. Mistress Serena

FROM MISTRESS SCARLET: In reply to Serena.

I do hope you enjoy it and perhaps find the contents useful in some way.

MsScarlet, or, if I may, Scarlet. My (and tiffany’s ) new regime is progressing well, and I continue to use your blog and Journals for inspiration. The nettles tiffany transplanted are now looking mature and healthy, so I think this weekend will see them put to use for the first time. I have all relevent items and a pair of pink sunglass pouches in reddiness, and here I need a little advice. Are fresh nettles essential? Do I apply stems with leaves attached, or just leaves? How many stems/leaves in pouch, and for how long on average should I leave tiffany to endure? Shall I refresh the leaves? The poor sissy bitch knows what I have planned, and he/she is most subdued as she continues to attend to her chores, almost to perfection, hoping I may change my mind ! Please excuse my ignorance but I dont want tiffany to feel she is missing out on the experience ! Thank you. Mistress Serena

FROM MISTRESS SCARLET: | In reply to Serena.

It is a pleasure to offer my experience for what it is worth. It sounds like you are a perfect strict and cruel Mistress. You can keep stems of nettle leaves in a vase of water for about four days. If they dry out however, they are no good. As it is the delicate hairs on the leaves and stems that deliver the sting, they have to be handled very carefully whenever possible. The good thing about the pouch treatment is that it offers so much opportunity for future escalation. If tiffany is like bb, he will be petrified of the first time, (and quite rightly) so I suggest just putting three stems in, cut to two thirds the length of the pouch with one or more leaves attached to each stem. If possible when handling them do not hold the portions that will be going into the pouch in order to protect the lovely hairs. Make tiffiny’s little cock nice and hard before slipping it into the pouch.

If you put too many leaves into the pouch, then they form into a ball and the little cock just pushes them all to the end of the pouch.

I suggest leaving the pouch in place for about a minute to start with. But obviously you can experiment. Not just with duration, but also with squeezing the pouch, using rubber bands, etc. Given the stings can last for four hours after the pouch is removed, you have plenty of flexibility. It can be left on during extended periods of sensory deprivation bondage, of course.

There is one issue around how much sting a nettle has depending on its maturity. Nettles which have not yet flowered or are in flower, appear to sting much more strongly than those that have finished flowering and turned to seed.

Have fun and please let me know about the results.

Scarlet, thank you, I shall keep you updated.

Mistress Serena

Scarlet, I am pleased to report I came across this product ( Deep Heat Muscle rescue ) today (August 2014) on offer in local Boots store, so I purchased two ! Just in time for tiffany’s TSD session scheduled for this evening!

Mistress Serena

Third time lucky (or unlucky for some ! )…. Scarlet, once again thank you for your advice, much appreciated. At the end of a busy week for us both, I put tiffany through a thorough TSD bondage session, and my, how she (he) whimpered and cried ! The most surprising aspect was her reaction to the Muscle Rescue cream….. judging by her cries it is much, much more potent to the Extra Stength Muscle Rub. I prepared her clitty with a good cleaning and brushing prior to application, I am sure that helped. After three hours of varied attentions, including my golden nectar ice cubes and nipple pegs, etc, I gave her clitty a good hot wash prior to the nettles. Her reaction to the nettles was intriguing, whilst it obvious scared her to death, her reaction was less intense than to that of the cream. I applied the pouch as directed, and left in place for about three minutes. She did squeal and gasp somewhat, but not as much as earlier. Still, this all helps and next time I shall leave the pouch in place much longer…. 15, 30 minutes, or more ? Post session, she was most obedient, attentative and subdued. Wonderful. PS. I do extend the cream to tiffanys sissy balls (sissy peas) and feel this is of equal importance to tormenting her clitty

Mistress Serena

FROM MISTRESS SCARLET: | In reply to Serena.

Thank you so much for the interesting update. I do believe you are far crueller than me – respect for that. As a general rule, I only use enough of the Muscle Rescue cream to ensure some sobbing. I only apply it liberally on special occasions. Also, I only use it on the penis and not on the balls. (This just happens to relate to a thing in my head that I want bitch-boy to feel its his little cock and nothing else that is the target of punishment – perhaps to make him feel it is the root of all his woes and problems. I know that’s weird – its just me.)

It may be that the nettles had already flowered and turned to seed as these do not sting as much as pre-flowering nettles.

I do love hearing of your current regime and exploits – please keep updating me.

I have no doubt whatsoever of the validity of your detail and authenticity. In the relative few weeks since discovering your blog, and subsequently, Journals, my sissy boi/bitch, tiffany and I have really progressed and we are both, in our own way, reaping the rewards of a FemDom led relationship (marriage). I had previously been less demanding of her (him) and definitely far too soft when it came to controling and punishing her. I now have more time to relax, and daily tasks and chores are no longer my responsibility, apart of course, from making sure they are performed adequately by my sub. It would appear bitch-boy and tiffany are likeminded and as a result it is a win-win scenario for us both.

Mistress Serena

Mistress Scarlet curtsy i trust You are well and all is good. Mistress Serena has kept me busy of late (in addition to my work), which i welcome, and i havent had chance to post. i hope this message both impresses and amuses. Last night Serena put me through a very strenuous TSD session. It followed a similar pattern to that detailed in Your blog/journals (based largely on Vol7. 15March2014…which is coincidently my birthday). It is still early days and a lot of refining is needed, but…. i did suffer and spent much of the three hours crying and whining. Mistress Serena had managed to track down the Muscle Rescue deep heat (with applicator)…..oooh my !!! Does it burn ! i am used to muscle rub, Mistress has used it going back near 30 years ( when it was called Firey Jack), but this was something else. Throughout i was kept hydrated with Her piss ices ( we have now got small plastic blocks for next time). After three applications of the cream, Mistress then washed my clit with hot flannel…..ohh, that was agony. She then used the nettle pouch for the first time. i recall losing some feeling in my clitty as the stinging began, and i recall squealing alot, but truth be told it wasnt quite as bad as i was expecting, though Mistress has plans to expand use next time. …….. Pics….Mistress Scarlet, i have posted several pics of last nights session on my profile ( here…FetLife). i have posted them primilary for Your perusal, i may remove them when You have viewed them, that said if You think they serve as an example to others, i can leave them up. The pic of the funnel gag shows my pink collar and Your journals in background. ……… Mistress Scarlet, in fear of repeating myself too often, may i thank You once again for Your influence. i have never been so submissively content and i suspect Mistress Serena is equally pleased. Thus far all my communication has been about things we have copied from You and Your methods, i appreciate that some feedback from me (Us) featuring O/our methods and rituals etc would be welcomed, so i shall remedy this with occaisional posts here describing O/our experiences. (Although alot of what W/we have done over the years is duplicated by Yourself). i only hesitate to post as i dont wish to be a nuisance. ….. Regards to bitch-boy

Yours in obedience and respect, tiffany (sissy boi/maid)

FROM MISTRESS SCARLET: Thank you for the post. It brings me great pleasure to read. It may be the nettles had already flowered and turned to seed as these do not sting as much as pre-flowering nettles.

Please post to me again.


3 aug

Mistress Scarlet curtsy Mistress Serena is away for the weekend with friends, so my time is being spent catching up with a mountain of ironing and a “spring cleaning” of the house.

MsScarlet curtsys as always i promised to contribute. i shall post a sort of “mini blog” here for You to peruse at Your leisure, hopefully You may gleam some small nuggets of interest.

Morning Ritual….. MsSerena and i have three morning rituals which cover daily scenarios. Mornings when She is on a 12 hour shift (as today), mornings when She has returned from nightshift and mornings when She is not working. Obviously, they are all similar, but do take slightly differing paths. ( She is a neonatal specialist) This morning… i rose at 05.20am, and changed from my pink overnight bloomers into a pair of panties ( i wear a tight training bra overnight, and my pink collar ….. babydoll or nightie in colder periods). i put on my pink nylon work coat and ran Mistress a bath, whilst prepaing Her tea. 05.45 i serve Mistress tea. Curtsy, recite ” i am Mistress Serenas sissy boi & sissy maid”. i then kneel and pay worship/homage to Her feet and toes for about five minutes. i am then gagged and blindfolded, palms held upturned and outward. During this 10-15 minute period, Mistress “partial ignores” me, only speaking to correct me or instruct me of days proceedings. 6.00am. Blindfold and gag briefly removed, i kneel before Mistress in bathroom, i lick Her clean after She has urinated. Mistress Serena then places Her overnight panties over my head, mouth & nose and pegs tightly in place. (“pegs tightly into place”….. meaning, She positions the (panty) crotch specifically and pegs the rear about my head drawing the panties taught.)

She then places a breathable ball gag in my mouth, blindfold and wrist bands (padlocked behind back). i am left for one hour while She prepares for Her day. (She bathes in separate bathroom suite). She prefers to keep me out of Her way, rather than assist Her, as She says i get in Her way, and time is of the essence. Obviously, the hour spent in the small bathroom ( referred to rather quaintly as “dungeon” ) gives me time to reflect and focus, inhaling and tasting my Mistress’ scents on Her soiled panties, knowing contact with Her will be forbidden. 7.00am She releases me, scolds or verbally humiliates me before leaving for work. i then spend 1-2 hours tending house (dependent on my work comittments), before changing and going about my days work.

i hope this is of minor interest. i shall post the alternative morning rituals in time.

Ms Scarlet curtsy Lovely to hear from You. Mistress Serena and i would have no problems with You use of O/our experiences and names, please feel free to post accordingly. . Ironically, i hadnt posted anything of late as i didnt want to appear a nuisance. W/we continue to embrace O/our renewed approach on similar lines to Your good self, albeit to a slightly lesser degree due to work and family committments. . i shall update You with recent happenings soon. (Recent purchases include inflatable sheep and plastic food containers to replace ice cube tray) Yours respectfully and in distant obedience, tiffany

2nd set of correspondence – anonymised


I received your comment on my blog. I am not sure I am qualified to help other Dommes but I am always prepared to try. Tell me more.
Mistress Scarlet


Thanks for your reply. Also I do apologize in advance, English is not my first language but I am quite fluent just not in pronunciation.

So here is our back-story. I have been in the lifestyle for 20 years, started as a sub but evolved into a domme. I have been married to my submissive husband for 4 years.

2 years ago we moved to XXXXXX for a job transfer for me. Long story short, my promotion came with much more responsibility and stress, so much so that I could not focus on our D/S relationship and we mutually decided to take a break for awhile. Now that my job has become manageable and the stress has subsided we have started back into our D/S life but things are very different and we are having a hard time getting back to where we were.

My husband has always worked from home, he is a XXXXXX. He has chores, maintains and cleans the house and cooks dinner twice a week. He has rules like asking to sit on furniture, to use the bathroom, to eat, etc. He is to be kneeling with his collar when I get home at night and then spends 5 minutes kneeling in the corner to get his submissive headspace.

The problem is I feel now he is just not truly submissive to me until about 5 minutes before we play. He has become bratty, dismissive and not very obedient. You seem like you have your submissive exactly how you want him. I was hoping you could offer up some ideas on what i need to do with my submissive to change his mindset and make him understand that I am the supreme being in this relationship. Ideas on punishment, what actions that I can take to make him feel submissive in our home.

He is not a huge fan of bondage, however I like it and i am very good at it (used to teach rope bondage classes in XXXXXXX) So he spends the majority of the time tied up, usually gagged with a leather paneled penis gag and a vibrating remote controlled dildo in his ass. Controlling his hole’s are very important to me. Spanking with my crop is usually his punishment and time out corner time in a standing kneeling hogtie with leather hood and penis gag is the other. But thats all that I can think off.

I realize that taking a break was my decision, however I just can’t live without his submission and feeling worshiped by my husband. I am just not creative enough and stern enough in my punishments and my overall treatment of him but I want to be and hope that you may provide some insight into achieving my goal.

Thank you so much for any help that you may provide.


I have published a post on my blog for you which I hope helps. I have not identified you in any way. Please let me know what happens. Please make sure you read my caveat about your slave needing to have a submissive soul for my suggestion to work.


Thank you so much for your reply and your help!

My husband is submissive. But I feel like his submission is based off of my dominance. Which why I think we have hit this road block.

I have been reading the book you suggested and find it fascinating. One question that I have for you is about the section in the book that refers to slave vs slave husband and the disconnect one must have in order to maintain the dynamic. I believe this really is my issue! I love my husband and think of him as my partner and anchor. Do you find that in your relationship with your slave that you have to disconnect from the love you feel for

him as a husband? any tips on your end to achieve this disconnect?

Also do you feel that feminazation and sissification works well for imprinting submission in a slaves mind? i have never tried this however I am open to it. Could you give me some pointers on how to start?

Thnk you so much Scarlet, your advice has been very helpful.


Again I caveat all my advice with the caution that I am not sure I am qualified to give advice. I can simply tell you what has worked for me. If you choose to try what works for me, that is a choice you make based on my lack of qualifications!
First, he MUST be a submissive for any of this to work. I think one test for this is what he fantasizes about and what fantasies turn him on. If he is turned on by thoughts of a life of being controlled and used and abused by a cruel dominant woman, then I would have thought it is safe to say he is a submissive.  It is key that he is submissive in his core.
I too took a while to achieve my disconnect. All I can do is set out how it works for me.
My bitch-boy is submissive at his core. It is fundamental that I know that, although I subject him to things he really, really hates at the time they are happening, and his life is controlled, denying him many freedoms – the result is that the more I treat him this way, the more soundly he sleeps, the more contented he is during all our vanilla moments. And the worse I treat him, the more he obviously worships me.
So there is a BIG paradox and it is counter-intuitive, but what I describe above remains a fact of life. So as I get great pleasure using and abusing him and dominating him, because I am a sadistic, dominant bitch – we both end up with contented souls.
While my bitch-boy, during vanilla times is my absolute rock, my protector, my problem solver, clever, kind, articulate, full of wisdom – I accept all of that, but I also partition a large part of our relationship as the part where I feed our BDSM souls.
Nothing I do will break him or damage him, although he may be reduced to tears, he will not break – he is not made of porcelain. Were I not to treat him so badly, so often, and control his day-today life – denying him many freedoms, I know his submissive soul would not be truly fed and contented. I have no doubt he understands that too, but of course part of what feeds his submissive soul requires is that he does not get a say in how he is treated. If he did, he would have control and that would not be submissive. It would not feed his soul.
I hope all of this paradoxical stuff makes some sense!

Thank you so much Scarlet.. you make a-lot of sense!

It is nice to hear that you also struggled with the disconnect. Ingred Bellemare suggested hooding my submissive, I think that i will just hood and gag him while I start this new approach to what I want.

Do you have any advice in regards to feminazation and sissification?

Also do you recommend any other good readings on the subject?

All the best.. XXXXXXX :-)

Your approach makes sense.
Regarding advice in regards to feminazation and sissification, what aspect of this would you like advice on?
There is not really anything else I recommend for reading. The reason I started publishing my journals was because I was so disappointed with the reading material available on lifestyle Femdom.
Mistress Scarlet


Thank you for the photographs and I am so pleased that you are switched back on.                          I have answered a couple of your questions with bold, underlined text below. Some I wish to think about before answering so will come back to you again.

Hi Scarlet,

 Well I just finished Ingred’s book and it has been very enlightening to say the least :-) 

  Progress with my sub has been very productive since we last spoke..

I simply hooded him and attached the snap-on penis gag to achieve the disconnect. Plugged him with the biggest dildo that we own and locked it in with a leather harness. I had him kneel in front of me and informed him that for now on this is how it was going to be.. at the end I did give him the option to not commit to what i proposed. He did and for the next two hours we worked on positions one practice run for each and then random testing, every time he failed was two smacks of my cane on his buttocks. Need less to say he learned the lesson and quickly memorized his new positions. I have to say I love it now when I snap my fingers and he is kneeling at prostrate position.. simply yummy!

 Your journals sound interesting.. are they about training? Can i get them on my kindle fire?

They are available for Kindle and include a great deal of sissification material as it is a favourite of mine and bitch-boy hates it so, and finds it dreadfully humiliating. I will have a think about first steps and your other questions on this because I must confess what I do now is about as extreme as it gets and probably too much for a first step. Here is a link to my blog page that has links for each journal on Amazon Kindle.

 In regards to feminazation and sissification. I am getting more and more interested in this, here are my questions.

 1.) Do you find that it puts your slave in a more submissive state of mind? Does he enjoy it?

 2.) How does one begin with feminazation and sissification. For example what would the first steps be with my slave?

3.) Do you dress him or do you make him dress his self? After reading Ingred’s book.. we have a standing rule. He is to not wear any clothing while in the house ever and is permanently locked into his chastity cage even when he sleeps. As of right now when i get home he is to be naked wearing his hood with his leather cuffs kneeling in his corner. However I may amend the no clothes rule if he is wearing female clothing.

  4.) My last question for you is this.. do you ever shut it off (Domme/sub) dynamic. For example.. at  night in bed we watch tv together. He is very well behaved wears his cuffs and collar but for the most part it is pretty vanilla. Should I not allow it to be so relaxed? Also do you allow your slave to sleep in the bed next to you at night on your level?

Yes I do shut off the dynamic and do some relaxing things together like watch TV and sleep in the same bed, discuss work problems, etc. However, even in these times he absolutely knows that I see him as my pet, my toy, my slave, my property – to do with as I wish. In the times in question, I wish for the dynamic to be off and he knows that it will be switched back on at my whim when I choose. And there is nothing he can do about it. (Except deal with it as best he can.)

Included are two pictures of my slave.. the first is corner time the second is his “present position”. Needless to say after this photo he recieved 4 smacks to his ass with my cane. Posture collar or not.. you must bow your head in front of your mistress. He not only disrespected me but also you as he knew these pictures were for your behalf. Do not worry after kneeling on heavy grit sandpaper for an hour he understood his mistake :-)

Thank you so much Scarlet!! You are an inspiration to me and have helped me so much in finding my inner Domme again!


Hi Scarlet,

Thank you so much for your advice.. I do appreciate it ;-)

Also thank you for the journal links I will be reading them very soon!

Question.. Where can I order the applicator you use for dickie discipline. This evening I locked my slave in his leather sleep sack while wearing his hood, penis gag and posture collar. Once trussed up I took off his chastity cage. He was excited because I am sure he thought that he was going to get fucked.. imagine his surprise when i rubbed icey hot on his balls and cock. Then I proceeded to watch my show while sitting on the couch above him slapping his cock and balls with my crop. Oh the whimpering.. It got me so hot that i had to treat my self to multiple orgasms!!  it was so euphoric!!

The problem is after about 8 minutes or so it wears off and I have to reapply it. Does this applicator last longer?

Again.. I can not thank you enough for your help. I feel so empowered with the knowledge of what to do with my slave and to have the ability to keep him in a submissive frame of mind.


I am not sure what country you are in. You basically need a muscle heat cream that is either in an applicator tube or is in stick form. Then  you do not have to wash your hands after application.
In the UK we have several makes such as Deep Heat, Ralgex, Voltorol, etc. I actually use Deep Heat Muscle Rescue Neck & Shoulder Cream 50g. It seems to be even more powerful than the Deep Heat Extra Strength product.
I am not sure what works for all types so you could experiment with applying a condom after application of the cream. These companies also make patches which should last longer than 8 minutes. You could also try opening up the skin pores first by applying a hot flannel for a few minutes before applying the cream.
You seem to have very similar tastes to me. I am sure we would have a great time together, first a day – you, me and bitchboy. Then a day – you, me and your slave. What fun we would have.
I suggest you read Volume 1 and Volume 5 of my journals to best understand sissification, although each of them contains plenty of it.


Hi Scarlet,

Thanks for the suggestion of deep heat, will see if I can order it ;-).

We currently live in XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. Where in the UK do you live? We have friends in XXXXXXXXX.

To be honest with you I have never been this type of Domme before. In my D/S life I actually started out as a sub, was submissive for 3 years learning a lot but eventually realized that submission was not for me. I have been the type of Domme that demands proper manners and to be treated as a lady. I love bondage, I am a very artistic person both personally and professionally so bondage satisfies my artistic side. I am XXXXXX and my slave is XXXXX so I feel most dominant when he is bound a gagged at my feet. I do punish him in creative ways and some times over my knee with a paddle.

However.. after reading your blog, talking with you and reading Ingred’s book I am changing! After that first day of training and behavioral modification i felt this amazing power that I really have never felt before. last night when I had him restrained in his sleepsack and was punishing his cock with the icey hot and crop i felt even more power and his whimpering made me explode! I have never experienced orgasms quite like last night.. it was mind blowing!

One think that I would like your advice on.. after last nights play session, my slave told me that he did not like the icey hot treatment. He is not a pain slut and it brought him to tears.. Here is my question.

After he told me this I responded with this.. was it or was it not you that wanted me to read Ms. Scarlets blog? he acknowledged “yes Mistress”.

So then I told him that this is the way that your life is going to be for now on, you are my slave, my pet, I own you, your cock and your holes. Your sole purpose in life is to serve me and be subjected to whatever I want. He acknowledged “Yes Mistress”

Did I go to far.. to soon? Or do you think that my slave was just testing me? I have never been this strict before with him, but I think its the right course what do you think?

I look forward to reading your journals and your answers regarding starting out best with sissification and femminazation.

Forever grateful to you..


We live deep in the countryside, about XXX miles West of London.
You wrote,

After he told me this I responded with this.. was it or was it not you that wanted me to read Ms. Scarlets blog? he acknowledged “yes Mistress”.

So then I told him that this is the way that your life is going to be for now on, you are my slave, my pet, I own you, your cock and your holes. Your sole purpose in life is to serve me and be subjected to whatever I want. He acknowledged “Yes Mistress”

Did I go to far.. to soon? Or do you think that my slave was just testing me? I have never been this strict before with him, but I think its the right course what do you think?

Regarding your comments above. In my opinion, this is a difficult area but very important. A submissive will test you from time to time and this may have been a test. I believe they want things to happen that they genuinely do not like, because it proves to them that they are truly helpless and controlled. I think how you responded was PERFECT.
However, there is a principle I follow regarding the amount of pain that I inflict in the circumstances you describe. It is that the pain need be no more than is required to make me HOT and make him miserable and frightened of me. If it does this but could be worse, then you have some room to escalate things in the months and years ahead, or for ‘special occasions’.  If you have gone maximum as a standard then you have nowhere to go for escalation or ‘special occasions.’ I hope this makes sense.
So possibly, you could say to him next time you are about to apply a cream that you have decided you want his focus of pain to be wholly on his cock, to remind him he is an inferior man – and cock represents man. Then only apply the cream to his cock shaft. If this still upsets him and makes you hot, that gives you a base which works and gives you escalation options for the future and for special occasions. If however, this does not upset him enough to make you hot, then apply some to the head of the cock as well as the shaft. If you wanted to escalate further then as well as the shaft and the head of his cock, you can apply to his balls too.
I hope all this makes sense.

Hi Scarlet,

Maybe we can make a trip to the English countryside one day :-)

Thank you for reaffirming my actions in regards to my slave.. And thank you for the further suggestions for future approaches to dickie Discipline. If you have any other suggestions that I can do to me slave to increase the level of my orgasms please let me know.. Would love to hear them!! After all that’s what he is here for my pleasure :-)


Mistress XXXXX


If you both come to England, let me know. If ever you wanted to come for a weekend on your own, I would pick you up at the airport, you could stay overnight and then I would return you to the airport. (I would not feel comfortable, and it would not be practical, for you both to stay here though.) 
My orgasms are huge! Its such a delight. I am not sure why. I think the fact that I accept completely that I am a cruel, heartless, sadistic bitch and that I can do whatever I want to my human toy liberates me to be both relaxed and cruel and decadent. I am not sure really.

Hi Scarlet,

If I do make it out to London, I would love to spend some time with you training if possible! I will leave my slave in a hotel if need be.

“My orgasms are huge! Its such a delight. I am not sure why. I think the fact that I accept completely that I am a cruel, heartless, sadistic bitch and that I can do whatever I want to my human toy liberates me to be both relaxed and cruel and decadent. I am not sure really.” << LOVE THIS!

Last night I had some amazing orgasms!! Chained my slave down last night and fucked his ass with my strap on.. which he hates! Then I put him in a kneeling hogtie.. applied some icey hot to his balls and allowed him to pleasure me with the snap on dildo that attaches to the outside of his penis gag. While he pleasured me a tortured his chastised member with my crop.. oh the whimpering.. oh the orgasm!!!! :-))))

He seems to be conforming to his new role, I will keep you updated! I am also trying to come up with a name for him, have not figured that one out.. yet. Today marks the 11th day he hasn’t cum. Maybe I will allow it this weekend..Maybe ;-)

Still looking forward to your advice on the best way to introduce and implement feminization and sissification.


Mistress XXXXXX

Hi Scarlet,

Happy New Year to you!! ;-)

I hope you had an amazing holiday as well. Everything with my little toy has been progressing nicely, his behavior ha been very good not exceptional but very good. I expect exceptional and eventually his constant red-ass will maybe clue him in to my expectations.

Over the holiday we flew back to the XXXXXX to visit friends and family. I decided not to pack any toys because of the weight of the bags once we buy items and brig them back with us like some favorite foods, sauces, clothes, etc. This was a big mistake!! I did bring a paddle and a penis mouth insert his favorite dildo his collar and leash but that was it!! His behavior was rather really good ( I do think the deterrent spankings every morning helped) however.. the day my best friend for more than 20 years visited it all went poorly. We were in wine country and while he was very respectful to me he was not to my friend. While he opened the door for me, he ignored her. While he helped me on and off with my coat he ignored her and while he pulled out my chair he did not with her. The entire day I felt like a bit of a failure in his training. I was really angry but never showed it.

All I can say is .. Thank you DIY store!!

After we dropped of my friend to shower and get ready for the evening.. I instructed him to drive to a DIY store in a very calm and rational voice you could see he was getting curious as he looked into the shopping cart full of items, A roll of contractor grade duct tape, Two bags of long police cuff like zipties and a 10×10 piece of coil matting.. he looked rather nervous. When we went to the pharmacy to buy a tube of ben gay deep eat muscle cream he looked like he was sweating.

Once we got back to the room.. he cautiously and in a low voice asked if he did anything wrong today. I told him while he treated me with the respect that I command.. he did not treat my friend in that manner and while we may not have discussed it.. he still should know better when a lady is present.

So I told him to strip and go into the bathroom and draw me a bath.. 30 minutes later I slipt in to the bathtub while my slave was naked kneeling on the coil matting with his arms and hands ziptied around the basin of the toilet zipties all the way up his legs connecting into a hogtie fashion while enjoying his nice big dildo taped securely into his ass, his penis mouth insert held in place by layers of duct tape around his head and two of my makeup pads over his eyes while held in place by duct tape wrapped around his head. A nice liberal amount of ben-gay on his cock and balls. Is whimpering and screams were delightful as I orgasmed twice in the bath! Delightful.

After my bath and another application of cream on his genitals.. I straddled the toilet and peed.. once done I cut the tape gag off of him and told him to clean up after me with his mouth. Ahhh another orgasm!! I instructed him that he was to stay here and think about his behavior today and what he needs to do in the future. The one new thing that I implemented was as a punishment after a punishment he was to write an essay on why his behavior is wrong, how he plans to correct his behavior in the future and why women are superior to men. Examples o strong women, etc. He Hates it!! Finally before I left I re-gagged him with my panties that I wore all day (less likely to get a gag reflex) duct taped around the head and another liberal amount of cream to his cock and balls going a step further and smearing the tip of his penis with it as well. He was screaming in his gag.. guess it got into his urethrea.. ooopps :-)  He was so loud that I had to turn the TV volume up before I left for the night.

BTW I told him that if he needed to pull he gag out then do so (his fingers could just reach the tape over his mouth) but I expected everything to be in place when I return as he knows I love controlling his holes. The rest of the trip needless to say his behavior was exceptional !! Did I mentioned he was tied to that toilet for 5 hours :-)

Thank you again for empowering this Mistress into someone that I never knew existed :-)

Hope to hear from you soon.


Mistress XXXXXXX


Thank you for your email. Yes, my holiday was fantastic. The run up to it was sooooo busy though!
I am so pleased all is progressing so well for you. I feel hugely gratified that you thank me for empowering you to become someone you never knew existed, and that you enjoy the result of the transformation so. I started my blog and writing my journals in the hope more women would adopt a lifestyle like ours, (by reading about real life femdom, not fantasy.)
I really enjoyed reading your account of your recent attitude adjustment for your slave. Please always send me such accounts!
I now have some time to come back to you about enforced petticoating. I am not sure I am an expert but I can give you the benefit of my experience. I started by making bitch-boy (bb) wear woman’s pink knickers all the time. 100% Cotton so that he did not get all sweaty and nasty. My next step was an amazingly frilly pair of cream and pink knickers from a Sissy Adult website, to wear around the house on display when serving me. His utter shame and humiliation over these motivated me to go much further. Choices included French maid, School girl, little girl. I started with French maid. Not long after – school girl. Sometime after that little girl. bb was so full of shame – especially in front of my sisters. Obviously he looks ridiculous – it is his mental pain that is the turn-on, not his appearance!  
I once tried just dressing him as a woman (with the threat to take him out for a drive in the car), but found he seemed to attempt to really look like a woman to avoid being noticed as a man dressed for the sole purpose of humiliation, so I do not do that anymore.
Next stage, (we are getting quite extreme by now!), I had him as a sissy maid which, for me, included a dress which came only down to his hips. Next his little girl dresses were adapted also to only come down to his hips. Really my journals best set out in fine detail the later stages.
Because he, at my whim, may find himself one day as a schoolgirl, another day as a maid and another as a little girl, he never seems to get the chance to come to terms with anything, which is ideal. Also the outfits can always be made worse by enforced role play. The school girl at detention, the maid curtseying etc and little girl past-times for the little girl.
At some point in this process I also had him (dressed as the maid) sew huge pink ribbon bows onto the front of his everyday pink knickers.
I hope this all helps a little.
Is it OK with you if I put this email and the one from you below onto my blog, anonymised of course?

Hi Scarlet,

So good to hear from you!! I have no problem with you posting my email ( I am sorry for the pronunciation.. as I said before English is not my first language its XXXXXX :-) You may post anything I post to you even pictures.

Thank you for the enforced petticoatting advice. Do you by chance have a list of the websites you shop at for his girly things?

I have begun to sissify him a little his past Sunday.. I bought some pink stockings with bows and a garter, a new furry pink slave collar with a bell and a heat shaped tag that has an inscription. After putting on his new collar, I told him to go and put on his new stockings. After coming out of the bathroom his face was one of disgust.. I said poor baby does not like his new gift? After saying not really.. I told him too bad.

The rest of the day he was dressed in his new pink stockings, his leather hood a new penis gag in his mouth (more on that in a minute) arms locked to his sides with padded locked fist mitts.. the mitts were locked to his harness that held in a nice 6inch by 3inch in diameter vibrating cock that I controlled via remote. his legs were lashed t the thighs with some nice braided pink rope and his legs were secured with hi leather locking cuffs with a hobble chain attached. also his cock was locked away in his cage (Its been over 3 weeks since he last orgasmed / an extended punishment for his behavior when visiting my friend)

To get back to his new penis gag have you ever visited the uk site top to bottom leather? If not a highly recommend. I purchased as a little treat for me his new penis gag that has a pressed stud attachment with a 6 inch penis (pictures attached.)

I had him kneel down between my legs while watching tv on Sunday and pleasure me with his new mouth cock. I had 6 orgasms that day!! Just viewing my slave with his new mouth cock, all of his holes controlled by me, locked up cock and locked up body just put my mental state into another world.

If you have not tried this form of queening .. I highly recommend it!!

I do have a serious queston if you may know? How long can a slave go without an orgasm. It is fun to keep him locked up but I want to be safe about it. Any info that you can provide will b greatly appreciated!

Next month I plan to start reading your journals as well.. very excited about that indeed!!


Mistress XXXXXXX

Thank you for your email, very interesting.
Here is are links to my favourite petticoating websites.
On the question about duration of chastity. All I can do is advise you of what I have learned. I do not guarantee it from a medical perspective but it is the set of rules I follow. There are two issues –
One-Off Denial Periods to be used perhaps once or twice a year at the most, and
Regular Denial Periods.
It seems that the male must ejaculate regularly for a healthy prostate. I have an absolute rule of no more often than once per week. I would say, bitch-boy ejaculates sometimes once a week, usually there is a two week abstinence sometimes a three week abstinence. This is how I deal with Regular Denial Periods. Between one week and three weeks.
Sometimes he might go two months denial as a One-Off denial period to teach him a lesson about something in particular.
However there are three types of ejaculation. Full, spoiled and milked.
You can give your sub a spoiled orgasm which means removing your hand from his cock the moment he begins to ejaculate. This is hated by the sub but does the medical job of keeping his prostate healthy. I have heard of some dommes who only ever allow spoiled orgasms. (Very extreme) Full arousal and sexual desperation for a proper ejaculation seems to return to the sub within about 5 minutes of a spoiled one.
An even more horrible way for a sub to ejaculate is by prostate milking using stimulation of the prostate inside the rectum without touching the cock at all. Normally using a specially designed wand.
A third and equally horrible way is to use a powerful vibrator around the scrotum while the slave’s cock remains in a device like a CB6000. This is another milking technique. There are a lot of videos of these techniques on the web.
So given a sub can be milked, it is possible for instance to let a sub come once a year properly and otherwise once every two weeks by milking or spoiled orgasms (for health). This is very extreme though!
Males seem to get considerable desperation after just three days. After 7 and then after 10 it seems to jump up and be much worse. After about a month, I think it may peak and not get worse as a sexual desperation feeling, but of course, the submissive feeling continues to rise.
Normally I like bitch-boy to orgasm about every ten days to two weeks because then he gets to be reminded often of what he is missing all the time I have him locked up. I normally make his orgasms as huge as possible because,
1) he then knows what I can award him if he behaves and remains under my power and,
2) he knows just what a wonderful feeling I am denying him day after day after day, and ,
3) it makes me feel very powerful that I do that for him at my whim, and could stop doing so at any time.
I hope this helps. If you would like to let me know what you plan as a regime I would be happy to comment on it.

Hi Scarlet,

Thanks for your advice. Will definitely look into the web links!!

Also thank you so much for the advice on orgasm denial. I like you want my sub to be healthy.. it is paramount. I will let him cum in some way this weekend. As far as regimen goes.. I will have to think about it, but of course I will keep you updated.

Do you feel like I am rushing any process so far with my sub? (i.e. Sissification) I think that I am going at  moderate pace but not quite sure if I am rushing the whole thing?

I value your advice so much and thank you for your time and effort in this new journey.


Mistress XXXXXXX

Hi Scarlet,

I completely understand you not easily comment on this matter.. all subs are different. No particular concern really, you are the only one that has the perspective of our DS life other then myself and my sub so I thought you may be able to judge if I am taking my new rule  too far at times.

My sub seems to be under my power in fact I think he somewhat fears me now.. not sure if that is a good thing or not? I am however very satisfied with my submissive’s progress under my new rule.. and the orgasms.. Wow!! :-0 ;-)

Happy weekend to you!! I will be browsing the websites you recommend while playing with my submissive toy.


Mistress XXXXXXX

I think the speed of development is not something I can easily comment on although I cannot think of a reason to go slower than you are provided your sub remains completely under your power.
Is there some particular concern you have about your current pace?
Hi Scarlet,

I hope this email finds you well. My submissive went XXXXXXX with my permission this past weekend which gave me time to sit down and write out a proper orgasm regimen for him.

Behavior dependent he will be allowed to orgasm once a week.

If I deem his behavior is excellent he will be allowed the following..

 – Tied tightly in a kneeling position with his hands locked to the sides by his harness, hooded, gagged with a penis gag, my favorite vibrating dildo in his ass and proper posture collar he will be allowed to masterbate for a period of 5 minutes. Once the 5 minutes is up he will be back in chastity. If he does not ask for permission to cum or any cum gets on our shag rug he will be immediately bent over and punished with my studded paddle.

 – His other form of release will be sex will he is heavily restrained.

 If he has been less then excellent the following will be allowed..

 – While tied and kneeling he will be allowed to masturbate in front of me with deep heat balm or icy hot.. again he has 5 minutes. Regardless of his orgasmic outcome he will be bent over and severely punished with my studded paddle or cane.

 – His other will be prostate milking while chained down and ass up while deep heat entertains his how do you say boy bits and severe paddle punishment soon after.

I thing this a good start.. If you have any additional ideas please let me know!! Also as always your feedback is much appreciated!

This weekend I have a fun game planned for my submissive. It consist of a board trivia board game. I will have him tied to a chair, hooded, penis gagged, with a posture collar and a nice big dildo in his ass! :-0

Every wrong trivia answer earns one of the three.. a nice liberal application of deep heat on his genitals, clothespins on his genitals or the highest level (level 5) on his vibrating dildo.

For every right answer a clothespin gets taken off or the vibrator goes down to a bare able level for him  (which is the first one ;-)

Should be a fun game don’t you think?

Also I am going to be in London for business in mid XXXXX, any chance you could make it down for lunch or dinner? I would love to meet!


Mistress XXXXXXX

Great to hear from you.
I think you have become crueller than me! In fact, I am sure of that.
I like your regiment. I will mention one thing to be aware of. If you set very rigid intervals for him having orgasms, then he stops begging and hoping for orgasms between those times. It is easier for him to come to terms with I think.
Even on days when there is no chance for bitch-boy to get an orgasm I still pretend there is a chance. Then he has raised hope (which is dashed) and he begs sweetly (which is pointless but he does not know that) and by the end of the day I pronounce there will be no orgasm that day and he feels deflated and dominated.
So sometimes, you might want to hint at a possible orgasm (and very rarely) allow one, between the weekly chance. Obviously you can already decide that he has failed to earn one on that day.
Just a thought.
I am away on holiday in XXXXX, until the XXXXXX, so if it is after that, I should be able to meet up with you in London.

Hi Scarlet,

In nooo way am I as cruel as you !! Well not yet anyway :-)

Thank for the advice regarding my submissive’s orgasm regiment.. you are so right leaving him guessing when his next orgasm is going to come is much better and I believe he will become complacent if he knows its on a schedule.

Great advice once again.. I thank you so much for taking me under your wing of sorts.

The board game we played this weekend was amazing.. sooo many wonderful orgasms while my helpless pet on the other side of the table moaned thru his cock gag. He ended up losing the game but as a consolation prize I gave him a hand job with deep heat and while he had just north of twenty clips on his boy bits. Have pictures if you would like to see?

Sadly I am in London on XXXXXXX. However I believe I will be back in XXXXXX.. maybe we can catchup then?


Mistress XXXXXX

Shame about XXXXXX, hopefully we can make XXXXXXX work.
I guess saying you are crueller than me was really about your use of deep heat balm. Your frequent use over his balls as well as cock, and also a deep heat wank is more than I do with that particular torture. No doubt though, you are right, that in other areas I am more cruel!
I would like to see the pictures.
I am so pleased you are enjoying cruel pleasure and wonderful decadent orgasms with your lifestyle. Its what us dominant ladies deserve!
I spent a XXXXXXX being very cruel for hours and hours. Poor bitch-boy really went through it! I am still getting more cruel. Where will it end?

Hi Scarlet,

Poor little botch boy.. I find myself getting crueler as well! On XXXXX my pet was literally sobbing (attached a few pictures) I on the other hand was achieving amazing orgasms while I watched him squirm.  I usually like to use rope on him but we were going out with friends later that night and did not want to cause any rope burn. So I improvised and used some nice plastic wrap and leather bondage mitts locked to the back o-ring of his butt plug harness.

As for XXXXXX my submissive will be in London with me but I can send him off too see his friends and go to a pub. Maybe dinner or lunch of your choosing? I stay at The XXXXXX Hotel near the XXXXXX tube station. Let me know would enjoy meeting you.

I do have another question.. where did you buy the funnel gag that you use on bitch boy for your golden nectar cubes? Are there any safety precautions with this type of thing? Does the funnel serve as a gag in a sense?



Thank you for the photos. Delightful.
You will have to let me know your exact London dates in XXXXX, when they are firmed up.
Regarding the funnel gag, I did first buy one from Fettered Pleasures.
but the tube was so wide it gave bitch-boy cramp in the jaw after twenty minutes so which was not what suited me. So I made one by putting a hole in a head harness   I had and fixing a kitchen funnel in place with rubber bands. It does work as a gag insofar as he cannot form any words, but he can make loud sounds when I am being very mean! My 11 November 2013 Blog post shows a photo of the gag.
The safety precautions that I am aware of are that you should put nothing down the gag which could choke the slave. Because my funnel spout is narrow, that cannot happen. I do always have the baby monitor on when I leave him alone anyway so could hear if he is choking.
Please keep updating me. Enjoy those wicked orgasms!


Thank you for the funnel gag idea! I think that I will get my submissive to make one for himself :-) We just returned from a wonderful holiday in XXXXX.. have you been? If not its wonderful and I would highly recommend it!

My pets behavior was exceptional so after dinner he was rewarded by being hogtied on the bed with his leather mitt’s, collar, penis gag and blindfold. I did rig up a devilishly little predicament with the rope connected to his hogtie that was tied around his cock and balls. So when he squirmed he got a nice hard tug on his boy bits. Did I mention he is very ticklish.

Although his behavior was excellent for most of the trip.. the second to last day was just awful. He was bratty, broke many rules and an overall disappointment to me. I was actually really fuming and trying to figure out how I would handle this situation behind closed doors. This really has been my first test since we returned to an LTR 24/7. Can you please evaluate my below actions and tell me if you think I handled the situation ok. I really do value your advice.

After we got back from dinner, I turned on the tv rather loudly had him strip and stuffed my panties that I had been wearing all day in his mouth and taped them in place. Collared and blindfolded I bent him over my knee and then spanked him with paddle for about 20 minutes. Once finished and his ass was black and blue.. I took him in the bathroom sat him down in the bathtub and tied his hands together with the rope lopping around a bath bar down to his feet that were tied together with the remainder of the rope. I kept him gagged and blindfolded.

I instructed him that the reason he has a bruised bottom and he would be sleeping in the bathtub tonight was due to his behavior today and how it made me feel and look in front of other people. I did allow him to masturbate if he could but I did not condone it and what ever mess he made he would have to sleep in. Needless to say he figured out how to touch his self. Also the way I tied him he could have pulled the tape off of his mouth if he had issues. The bathroom was visible from the bed so I felt his safety was fine. He woke up to a cold shower the next morning and was pretty sore.

I had wonderful orgasms all week and especially when he was tied in the tub with a red bottom. Also took some pictures as always hope you enjoy. As for the dates in XXXXXX I will no more after my XXXXX trip.

Hope you have a great orgasmic weekend!


Mistress XXXXXX.

XXXXX is one of my very favourite cities in the world! We clearly have very similar tastes! :-)
Regarding your slaves poor behaviour. Do you think he behaved poorly to test you, or perhaps to provoke you into some extreme behaviour? Or had he still not learned your true nature and his role in the relationship?
Thank you for the photos. Such a pleasure to receive them.
In my humble opinion, you seem to have handled the situation perfectly. When a slave behaves in a way you never want to see again, then the punishment has to be something he never, ever wants to happen again. Did you ask him the next day, whether he had learned his lesson and was unlikely to behave in the unacceptable way again?
bitch-boy is in for a very tough weekend today and tomorrow. He will be used and abused, humiliated and painfully hurt and he will be waiting on me hand and foot (when he isn’t helplessly bound!). I will let you know more next week. I had a working at home day in the week just gone. He went through a very tough time for 10 hours. I did not even release his little cock from its restraint tube. My orgasms were huge! He was very subdued by bedtime  which was very sweet.
I had a thought. I would have urinated over him before I went to bed.
I do urinate over poor bitch-boy very often. In a hotel with a bath, before he has a shower, I always have him on his hands and knees in the bath, and I urinate over him. Then I have him wait a while before I allow him to shower.
Also, I have set up a section of my blog devoted to our email exchanges. I recall you said you were OK with me publishing our exchanges.
Have a great and perverted weekend.

Hi Scarlet,

First let me say its an honor to have our correspondence in a section of your blog.

As for your question regarding his behavior, the best I can gather is he was just in a mood that day. When I woke him up the next morning I gave him a kiss on his check and told him of the amazing orgasms that I had while he was having a time out in the tub. I put some lotion in my hand and started jerking him of while I whispered in his ear that I loved him and missed him lying next to me last night but his behavior yesterday was not acceptable and unbecoming to me. He nodded that he understood and started screaming in too his gag “May I  cum mistress” honestly I almost said no but allowed it and he released. After wiping off the lotion on my hand and removing his leather blindfold.. I turned on the ice cold shower :-)

His behavior since then has been excellent! He still gets deterrent punishment to keep in him line of course but everything seems to be good which tells me sleeping in the bathtub will be a standard if we see any unbecoming behavior that merits such punishment in the future…with the addition of his cock cage of course ;-)

I have never urinated on him before, it may take me awhile to build up too that. How does that make your slave feel? After he constructs the funnel gag I have tasked him to build we are going to have a nice TSD session with some of my gold nectar ice cubes. Please keep sharing ideas with me!

Attached is a picture of us in XXXXXXX. it was so cold thou.. it actually snowed that morning.


Mistress XXXXX

Hi Scarlet,

I  just had a chance to read thru the advice section on you blog. Beautifully edited.. and thank you for the decorum. I hope it helps anyone else that may have questions about this lifestyle and the progression that it requires.

I do apologize about my last email, I wrote it in a hurry and realized it was poorly edited. After reading thru the advice section about our correspondence I can see that you understand exactly what I mean and I do appreciate that very much!

This weekend is going to very interesting trying out some new bondage techniques on my submissive.. I will tell you how it turns out.. Also would love to hear about your adventures with your slave as well!


Mistress XXXXX


I am responding to your last three emails.

 Regarding urinating on him. You may discover that doing so while he is on his hands and knees in the bath, head down, is something he finds easier to endure than urine ice cubes in a funnel gag which he must taste. It depends what is in his brain in terms of his hierarchy of dislike about urine.

 Obviously, urinating on him while he is on his hands and knees in the bath, head down, is probably the most mild use of this degradation.

 Increasing the degradation. — At times bitch-boy has to suffer, (A), face pointing up, (B) mouth open and it overflowing, (C) eyes open for a second to receive some stinging flow, (D) mouth open and swallowing it all. (E) Urine from other Dommes. My Journal 6 has a complete entry dedicated to these aspects.

 I particularly like being outdoors in sunbathing weather when I can have him on a lawn or patio and it does not matter where it splashes. Indoors, a walk-in shower is fantastic! Outdoors or walk-in shower, means you can wear high heels and I really like the look and feel of urinating on a slave while in heels. It seems to further the status difference. You could start with having your slave accompany you to the toilet, kneeling at your feet while you urinate and then licking your cunt clean/dry. That is how I started.

 Thank you for your face photograph. (I have developed a rule of only sending my face photograph after speaking to the other Domme on the phone – so I can check it really is a woman and not a man pretending to be a woman to get hold of a face photo or to get other kicks.)

 I am giving bitch-boy such a hard time at the moment that each week there is a day worthy of reporting as a journal entry! I am nearly half way through writing Journal 7 and it only containing year 2014 events! He has lately been spending hours as a schoolgirl writing lines. Oh my, he really does not like having the palms of his hands (and fingers) punished with a leather strap!!! My orgasms continue to be awesome when I indulge in my latest level of cruelty.





38 thoughts on “Advice

  1. most beautiful to read how You are so Supreme in Your subjugation of Your slave Mistress Scarlet and to share Your expertise with Other Dommes is sublime,,

  2. Dear Ms Scarlet and Mistress XXXXX,
    Fantastic page! So much interesting stuff, thank you for sharing. I thought I might suggest something that seems to have been left out though. I hope you don’t mind. I don’t have either of your experience (or inteligence), but my partner and I play a little (where we can – there are offspring in the house…), and I know where you are coming from with paradoxes and disconnects.

    I believe elsewhere in this blog there is mention of Ms Scarlet owning the house and cars, controlling the finances and holding a stash of “blackmail material”. The latter in particular I thought might have come up in the exchanges above. It takes little to establish, requires no cruelty in its maintenance and yet is always there in the background, however vanilla you’re being. Even if, as a mistress, you never, ever plan to use it, or as sub never believe your partner would be so cruel, it will remain there in the background, always keeping the balance of power away from equality.

    Not much practical use day-to-day, I admit, but has a powerful effect on me nevertheless. I hope you don’t mind my unsolicited opinion!

    Brilliant blog. Love it to bits!

  3. Regarding the reference to Ingrid Bellemare’s book on male enslavement, yes that is a great book to use as a reference for these kind of F/m-M/s relationships, though apparently there is some questions whether there is(was) a real She there as some speculate it was male written just as an fyi.

  4. Good day dear Lady.. quite an impressive blog – and life. Though at first glance it seems very tempting, one isn’t sure he should wish for it… )
    One thing surprises me somewhat: instead of making your creature taking painful but “useseless” poses (unregarding the satisfaction You get from its suffering) , why do You not chose poses that develop its muscles (push-up pose as an example). It is uncomfortable, becomes quickly painful and would have the advantage of developing its muscles.. to Your profit.
    I have no doubt that Your wicked imagination can come up with an inifinity of poses, combined with weights and painful restraints..
    PS: not finding any link for “direct” converstation I posted the present letter here. Do not hesitate to delete it.

    Best regards,


    1. Hi
      The fellow Domme with whom I was in correspondence may well like and adopt your good idea. I however will not because while I am keen that my slave is very fit physically, I do not like big muscles. I guess this has to do with my preference for the female body, whatever my ambiguous sexuality is!

      1. Thank You for taking the time to answer.
        I am glad this idea could be of some utility.. )

        Best regards,

    1. I am sorry, but as you must know I have a slave who I have been training for over a decade. Why would I want another? I suggest you work at skills like cooking, housework, pedicures. That you earn good money, learn to use good grammar when you write and then seek a mistress by sensitive wooing. Good luck and best wishes.

        1. I do not need a second slave.

          (Your grammar is not good enough for me, particularly on the basis you actually think it is. There should be an apostrophe in – I’m – and sentences should begin with capital letters.)

  5. Re @Sweep’s comment above about you Mistress possessing a blackmail stash on bitch-boi, while i have seen you make reference to owning the family money, and other assets, i have not seen such a reference to the old embarrassing stash of pics, etc. which could be used to tighten your Dominance over your slave, as Ingrid Bellemare (such as She was) used in her relationship and propounded as an excellent control mechanism over her slave.

    If it may be asked, MsScarlet, do you also employ this tool in your Ownership of bb arsenal? A problem with such, which is sometimes forgotten, is that in committed couples i.e. married or long standing ones, as you and bb are, the actual implementation of the threat can cause significant issues for the Mistress also as he is in fact her husband/significant other, etc. and so in outing him in an embarrassing fashion, so also is she doing so to herself too to some degree!….

    1. It is inevitable after over a decade of dominance that there are such photos. I would simply say – who would blink first! Particularly given the nature of the photos of him. It is an unspoken issue.

  6. Dear MsScarlet
    Sorry to trouble you, but I wonder if it is possible to seek your counsel and advice without it necessarily being published in these comment sections?
    The matter is akin to your advice and email exchanges above albeit at an earlier stage of development between my wife and I.
    I understand of course if you are too busy or simply not inclined to private correspondence or offering further advice – In which case feel free to just ignore this ‘comment’.


      1. Hopefully you get a notification after I post this as I have struggled to find an answer for my wife using regular searches.

        My wife would like to know why she enjoys being cruel particularly after an orgasm. She loves to tease and inflict pain in general but gets really motivated after orgasm.

        She has asked me to find out if it’s common and why it happens.

        Kind regards


        1. I cannot help with this query. How many orgasms does she have in one full-on DS session? I keep up a constant high level of cruelty alternating between pain and or humiliation and or tedium for bitch-boy, so I am very aroused throughout. In a session of say, 6 hours, I may well have 9 to 12 massive orgasms.

  7. Hello Mistress Scarlet. I have been an avid fan of your blog for the last few months and it has encouraged me, scared me and comforted me many times over. I will look forward to your journals when I can get them :)
    I myself have dabbled with my ex gf, we than hooked up for a sexual arrangement of sorts but it became obvious to me and I’m sure her that it could only work inside a committed relationship… the intensity of our arrangement had been impressive compared to our attempts inside a committed relationship, we both acknowledged this. Since we stopped we have ‘holes’ in our lives I feel. I really wish I could commit to her as she definitely can offer me the lifestyle I need to be content, as for happiness I’m terribly unsure…I have a case of unrequited love with another girl and a poor self image through that. Its important to note I think I have always felt submissive to women since a young age, and I do wonder whether this played a large part in how my relationship with my unrequited love has developed on/off the last 9 years. I’m not writing to ask for help with my unrequited love specifically although deep down I selfishly and pointlessly hope that too like someone has a magic answer, but I understand it’s always been very much my headache to manage, I’ve been hooked simply with a ‘maybe when we are 30’ and a confidence reserved it feels for me alone and my lack of danger as an unfancied male i feel. I just dont want to break my ex gf’s heart more and keep tormenting her because of my own selfish desire I see in another woman (I had met years before). Its obvious I need closure with the unrequited love but whilst she is with another man I know my answer, I expect her relationship to end sooner rather than later just because of her past and the pattern she sticks too. So I will get closure one way or another, it’s a case of when but until then I’m emotionally damaging someone that should be the love of my life. I suppose I’m grooming her as a backup, I don’t like this and I feel awful, the only glimmer of light is that one day I might get the oppurtunity to tell her everything and she can use that to break me harder and faster to her will. I would love to be able to tell you and all your readers about how miserable and frustrated and trapped she makes me feel…

    Inspired and in awe and frustration, Whiny-Whore-Pig

    1. A submissive is entranced when a dominant refuses to see them or says they will possibly hook up with them in due course. You need to start living in the real world, otherwise you will soon find you have wasted a decade or two decades for no good reason. If your unrequited love was going to be in a relationship with you that would have happened by now. She adores having someone wait years for the chance of being with her. What an ego trip for her. If she and you were compatible there would be a relationship. You are not compatible. There is no self esteem issue. Just because you are not a compatible couple does not mean there is something wrong with you. It does not effect your worth. It is simply incompatibility. You are not trapped by anything more then your own state of mind. Forget your unrequited love and live in the real world and grab the real world and squeeze from it all the happiness you can. Shame on your unrequited love for exploiting your submissiveness simply for her own ego.

  8. Thankyou for taking the time to reply to me, I appreciate the clearness of your words but you may take an educated guess that it’s incredibly hard as a submissive to let go of that thrill. I no I need closure but I believe nothing is 100% in life, it’s a game of chance and I’m playing a very hard game, I’m trying to find a way to get that closure, with the unrequited love I feel I’m trying to worm my way in like times of old, thinking that I can be confident this time, lulling her into thinking I’m the same of old when I FEEL I’M changing (internal question: but how can one know? I guess I’ll know when I do but I feel I’m shifting and I realize my way of thinking is likely to very misinformed but can’t help myself trying like a good scientist) and I feel I can use her natural dominance (after a 20 min phone call of me acting like the care-free, happy go lucky me, I mentioned I was bored and needed chores to keep me busy… no clear request but she soon suggested I could mowe her lawn, bare in mind we hadn’t spoken for months) I know if she grew, she could appreciate me, I know she has a twisted love for me, feels guilt too but yes I understand I can’t change her but I can give her oppurtunity… and that’s what I feel the need to fast track as much as possible so I can be available to a live a contented life with a dom who loves me too. As I said she has bf atm, I feel I can undermine this… maybe I should feel bad but I need to give her an ultimatum but I need to give her a hook… I want to tell her about my ‘sordid’ struggles as a submissive man, a submissive man who confuses and intrigues her with my happiness and confidence, yet with this myserious need… I’ve realised I do this already to a degree but I can do it harder, socially persuading her to ‘ come out’ about her desires’ I feel I would have set a ball rolling, then the moment she gets ahead of herself ( starts to tease, slaps me in the nuts etc) I can flip back to the ‘usually happy go lucky boy that’s wounded by his own sexual desires’ but rather than giving in and being happy to be or do anything for her like times of old, or slipping back further, I want to giver her the ultimatum I need, I just no its completely futile if she’s still hopefull things will change with her bf atm. But I can undermine the value she gets from me… to help me get closer to putting her on the spot when she inevitable oversteps the line with her ‘friend’ , it provides me the oppurtunity to call her out on our friendship… I’ll then offer her a new start as just friends… we would both agree on that I’m sure and she will highly unllikely be able to provide me this… because of what we are to each other but will think she can.
    I stand to lose time and my soft spot. she stands to lose time, her soft spot, a friend and an amazing potential lover.
    Can you not agree with some of my reasoning? I know my mind can be poisoned and deluded by her but I know I can be very stubborn with her too… and being bitter that she doesn’t see more in me doesn’t work, it makes her tire of me and feel uncomfortable but if I’m happy she ‘works’ me if I let her and I need that to work for me, not damage me or other person’s that I care about. So I must make my ‘expriments’ more disciplined and read my data back without my personal investment attached, as much as humanly possible. After 9 years you just KNOW you have an effect on someone else, I want to use it until it runs out or see whether we can both we can both remember to replenish it…
    You can take the man out of the sub but you can’t take the sub out of the man, perhaps…

    And I hope you haven’t found me too delusional and/or frustrated… we all must find our own ways. I would love to tell you and the community how I get on sometime on in the future as a case study of sorts, I feel it might be useful for other people :)

    Regardless of your advice and how I take it from here, I was very glad to know what you think so thankyou. Your blog and writings not only inspire the community and guide the community to find their own ways to express their own needs of love but also it takes away the loneliness in being or feeling like a minority frowned upon or misunderstood.

    1. I cannot agree with your reasoning because you want to play games and to deceive and manipulate. This is not adult behaviour. In my experience a submissive NEVER gets what they need when behaving so. I suggest you are 100% honest with your unrequited love. Then she will either want you or not want you and you can move on.

  9. If you cannot agree with my reasoning then, can you not understand it to a degree considering your subjugation of bb and his continued acceptance of the relationship, in that we are expressing similar desires? And at its simplest definition we can be no more certain in that we all adopt different ‘behaviour’ to deal with our sexual desires? To me adult behaviour is merely a concept we become conditioned to, like a submissive man becoming subjigated by his love. Or at the very most the point at which after a fully developed man/woman seeks to reproduce throught whatever designs people feel our necessary and acceptable to cultural and society.

    Maybe we’re getting muddled on definitions of fantasy and where it’s realms begin and end and perhaps I’m subjigating her to my desires to be dominated by her and her sadistic tendencies. And your absolutely right in the last two sentences, but I can’t help but try to stack the odds in my favour and tread carefully in telling my unrequited love the shocking and often misleading nature of my often maligned and ridiculed expression of love for females and therefore her… the Estella to this Pip of Great Expectations. This Pip can’t cry if Estella doesn’t persist with her sadistic insults…

    Experience is relative, the great black hole of life.

    In my experience being a submissive man twice(in my eyes) inept at expressing physical intimacy to initiatie sex in a welcoming environment with my ‘friend’ with whom Id shared many night side by side over the years has characterized me as a somewhat emotional, asexual failed-experiment, retained when not bitter or hurt for it’s non sexual uses when needed so it’s highly likely she’d be shocked then guilty or uneasy because she’ll see it in my nature like a penny drop… and she’ll do what she always does and turn me down because I’m not like other guys, I always love her for who she is. Coming back for her call despite a failed family amongst the continued bad choice of selfish men that continues to today, if I disappear she’ll hurt herself more, only come back later to tempt me, she’ll have less to offer me no doubt and I’ll still love her and break hearts myself in the meantime….. I know what I need to do. I need to do what’s right for me and keep the ones I love from getting hurt. That means being honest with two girls, breaking ones heart properly and ‘coming out’ to my sweetheart, sowing a seed of interest in her I don’t doubt could equally fester over my life as make it.

    And genuinely and respectfully as are all my questions, statements and confessions; has bb got an unrequited love from his past, buried in his past, overcome? Can you remember what you thought of nice, quiet men? Or wimps before bb? I understand you have taken a different path.

    1. bitch-boy has no unrequited love from the past. He is always a realist. If he and another were not compatible, he would see that and move on. In our lives, neither he nor I have ever flogged a dead horse. We move on when that is the right thing to do. Life is too short to waste on vague, scant hopes of potential, possible situation change. There is a pool of billions of people in this world from which to find the right person. I had a slight preference for nice quiet men with a sense of humour but I never liked wimps and I would not have selected bitch-boy if he was a wimp in the vanilla world. Before, you must have read what I have written about his intelligence and assertiveness with charm, his success in business in competition. In his vanilla time he is a rock and an action taker, not a wimp. But he is helplessly under my spell and power and, when not in vanilla time – that is a different story!!!

  10. Thankyou for your reply. My desires are very intense and through this site I have found people who love a similar lifestyle to what I wish for. I suppose I have trouble seperating my reality from my fantasies and I have lost a lot of confidence being naieve and hopeful, I can see how it holds me back it devestates me as my elected reason for all my hardships.The worst thing is knowing you need to change your outlook but being to stubborn and scared to change it and then that makes it worse as you feel you have made an investment…

    I will tell her, I know I need to. Just hope I can find the strength to do it sooner rather than later and it may help to imagine I’m helping all person’s involved. I know at the very least I need to be honest with myself and start accepting myself.
    So just maybe you will hear from whiny whore pig again and how he’s seized his unrequited love as a delicously cruel and understanding dom or perhaps even better how he’s fallen dribbly for a deliciously cruel dom that just loves to take me to the edge of universe!

    Thankyou. Maybe I’m not between a rock and a hard place..,

    Ps your new book has been both intriguing amd inspiring, can’t wait to see how your life develops. ..

  11. Ms Scarlet, I really enjoy reading about some of the more extreme and cruel things you get up to. I have had fairly extreme sadistic desires since before I hit puberty. I always felt bad about my desires to belittle people who were weaker than me so I really tried to hold that side of me back. My current boyfriend is a bit of a doormat and I do take advantage of him a lot. Sometimes I worry that being a bitch is not okay, going out of my way to cause him to be upset seems wrong. Did you ever go through periods of guilt?

    1. You sound like a natural-born cruel Domme. You should be completely uplifted and inspired and proud to be such a Domme; and relishing who you are and what you enjoy. In this world, being a natural-born cruel Domme is like being a very rare and very precious diamond. Literally thousands of men are lining up and dream of being your boyfriend and being used and abused by you.

      Being your cruel, exploitative self with a truly submissive male will bring him deep contentment despite that he will hate much of what you do. if your boyfriend sticks with you being used and abused, he sounds like a genuine submissive.

      If he is, then don’t fetter yourself with silly guilt and don’t waste another day. Blossom into what you were born to be. Seriously enjoy what you are – it is a wondrous life. To be brutally honest, if he is not a true submissive do both of you a favour and leave him and find a true submissive using some BDSM contact sites.

      Are you in the UK?

  12. Hi MIstress. My name is Chris. I am married to a wonderful woman. I do my best to serve her, but she is totally reluctant to taking charge. I know she likes and appreciates all I do for her. However she says that she feels bad that I do so much extra. I wish she would realize the benefits from such a lifestyle. Any ideas or suggestions would be awesome. I can also provide more information if you want. Thank you for your time. Chris

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s