I am interested in comments from true submissives on the following: (I define true submissives as those who recognised their submissiveness before they reached puberty; before the age of say 11, and who have desired domination ever since.)
Recent experiences and some reading lead me to be convinced that the submissive’s PERCEPTION of the dominant’s cruelty is key to maximising effect. I highlight perception because it is more important than the cruelty itself. I stress cruelty is TAKING PLEASURE in inflicting discomfort. To give a real example:
On any full-on domination day, bitch-boy will find himself in total sensory deprivation bondage (TSDB) for between one hour and six hours. (Up to six hours if I have a female submissive here for using and abusing).
I could simply put him into the bondage and then eventually release him without talking about what I get out of it. The TSDB would effect his submissive soul a fair amount and he would probably make assumptions about what I get from it. But the effect can be increased 100 fold if I advise him that I adore getting on with whatever I want while he is in TSDB. That it turns me on. That I love thinking about my power and decadence and his misery during the TSDB. That I love causing him to be so miserable. Having spoken these words, he is now CRYSTAL CLEAR that I am being cruel to him during all future sessions of TSDB. (I am being a sadist.)
Even if administering a punishment, (see previous post), I now make sure I am clear on my pleasure. I am likely to use words with the effect of the following, during my leisurely, extensive punishment session:
‘Poor bitch-boy. I do enjoy causing you pain like this. I will never get bored of doing so. IT TURNS ME ON and I get a lovely power rush. Obviously even if I did not enjoy it, you would still be enduring punishment, because you committed an infraction and all infractions must be punished. But I do enjoy it, so it’s a lovely win-win. Deserved punishment for you, to deter infractions; and pleasure for me while punishing you. While hurting you. And this is your life now and forever. There is no escape. You are my puppet and I will never let you go or become less cruel.’
As I set out in my published manual, my theory is that true submissives need to feel helplessly under the power of another to sleep well and feel contented. So while a bossy, overbearing person who is a control freak may produce some submissive satisfaction, they will not produce the contentment that a bossy and CRUEL person will. Why? My theory is that being subject to simple bossy control does not infer as much helplessness as being subjected to wanton, unnecessary physical or mental discomfort; because wanton unnecessary physical or mental discomfort infers, or even requires, even more power; even more helplessness. (Not an easy phenomenon to describe!)
I therefore suggest, if you are a dominant, you make absolutely clear the pleasure you get from each and every slice of adversity to which you subject your submissive. You can’t be shy about being cruel, about being a sadist. You must be bold about this. Make sure some adversity is simply for your pleasure and nothing more. Your submissive will be further in awe of you if you do. Your submissive will feel even more helplessly under your power.
Do true submissives agree with me?