DELIGHTFUL Partial Ignoring

One of my favourites from TUMBLR is this very brief video. I adore so much about it! I provide the GIF and I have had bitch-boy create the image below from screengrabs to depict the my favourite attributes of the GIF. Although I am always terribly cautious about getting my website banned by WordPress for showing nakedness, I thought this image is safe as no genitals are shown. Perhaps ironically on that matter, one of the assumptions I make when viewing the video is that the male is in an inescapable chastity device. bitch-boy when in his dog cage certainly always is.
















I love that the slave, or husband, or boyfriend, is naked while she is dressed in everyday clothing. I love that the video begins and ends with him all alone and totally ignored. I love it is a little used area of the home, tucked away. I love that he gets no more from her than a momentary glance and that her satisfied, mocking smile plays on her lips for only a second; then he is pretty much forgotten about again as she gets on with her day. But not completely forgotten about, oh no. If she is like me then;

……. every now and again, she will remember her chaste toy locked away, in a dog cage, lonely, bored, deeply humiliated and totally subjugated. Every now and again she will become aroused with her power-rush and feelings of decadence, bitchiness and pitilessness and she will apply her wand to herself and hope, or ensure, her screams of ecstasy, (during yet another orgasm), work their through the building to his ears.

He will think about the unfairness of how, on so many individual days, she gets more orgasms than he gets in a whole year. And she will think of him thinking that, and a new power-rush will envelop her. And she will leave him there; perhaps for many, many more hours getting her kicks, and in the knowledge that, because he is a true submissive, when all that misery is over, or even during the misery, he will be in complete awe of his mistress-wife and his souls will be filled with submissive deep contentment. He is in no doubt that he is privileged to be helplessly in the power of a pitiless, cruel, dominant woman and that is all that counts!

And she will exploit that for her own benefits and the perfect symbiosis will continue.


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35 thoughts on “DELIGHTFUL Partial Ignoring

  1. Far, far too much of femdom porn involves the sub being the focus of the Domme’s attention, when it should, of course, be the other way around. I agree, this clip is delightful, hinting at an FLR relationship where the sub is tidied away, like a toy or a kitchen appliance, when he isn’t in direct service to his Mistress. She goes about her day knowing he is always available for any menial/manual task arising, or to do something for her pleasure or amusement.

    And then be promptly returned to his cage….

  2. A cage just like this one may very well be in my future. Just last month my wife and I stopped at a large yard sale and she saw a dog cage for sale set up on the front lawn. She went over to look at it and spent awhile checking it out. She looked at me and gave me a wicked smile, telling me this would be perfect for punishment days. But it was way too small. As we left she said it was something for her to consider.

  3. Dearest Mistress Scarlet,
    I have created a gift of it and would be happy to send it to you. If you would like, please let me know how I can get it to you.
    This is one of those situations where I would love to find a woman like her, but fear it at the same time. What to do, what to do……..

  4. Dear Mistress Scarlet.
    This is slightly off-message but points to another lifestyle Dominatrix with whom you have a lot in common and if you have not heard of her, i think would enjoy checking out her site. Whilst you have written a Handbook of Domination, she has written a biography of her domination and subjugation of her boy (which is being turned into a movie) and i am sure you will find much you enjoy and agree with. Ms Lane speaks very eloquently for herself so let me end by offering her BDSMLR address:
    Yours respectfully, Ben

    1. Thank you sincerely but I have been in a number of exchanges over my disappointment with the book cover and the film preview. I’m afraid that the movie, far from helping spread FLR will sadly do the opposite. Spreading FLR is about persuading vanilla women to experiment with FLR with their long term partner. This means avoiding all the ‘bizarreness’ and ‘extremes’ and professional dominatrices’ of the BDSM world, and focussing on what is in it for them in their own, normal homes, and how they might begin with minor and easy changes that do not make them feel too kinky, or weird, or feel compelled to dress in elbow length gloves, thigh high boots, leather and corsets.

      The movie’s opening scene is a slave crawling on hands and knees from his own home to his Dominatrix Mistress’s home. I used to think any exposure of BDSM in the vanilla press and TV was a good thing; breaking down barriers, increasing acceptability. But actually, apart from titillating those who already have a confirmed interest, it seriously repels 99% of the vanilla women who might otherwise be interested in embyonic stages of a FLR; having their housework done, pinching a nipple, a bit of bondage with scarves, teasing, etc.

      These women need to be subtly and gently seduced into FLR and films and books like the ones to which you refer, very sadly I’m afraid, although I am sure meaning well, will do the opposite.
      If you are interested, I have entered into long and detailed exchanges on this in the comments section of the blog posts, LINK, LINK,

      1. Dear Mistress Scarlet.

        Many thanks for taking the trouble to respond to my comment about Ms Renee.
        I read her book and was not always 100% sure where the line was between unvarnished truth and exaggeration. For example, she says she has a position in her community but on the other hand has her boy kneel in her driveway waiting for her. I‘m sure that’s exactly the sort of thing which might get into our local paper and especially if the driveway concerned belonged to someone of standing!

        On the other hand, I very much admire the efforts you have made on behalf of other women, so they may enjoy the lifestyle you have and the way you have worked to mark out a safe, reliable and congenial path for them to follow. Congratulations and I wish you the very best of success.

        With kind regards, Ben

        1. Thank you for the very kind words and support. Just to be very clear, the efforts I make are on behalf of submissive males as well as other women. My fantasy is to cause DS couples to come together and enjoy very long term symbiotic relationships. Both perfectly suited to giving the other a wonderful, contented life. Thank you again for the kind words and support.

  5. Great post. It’s amazing how just the right picture, sketch or clip can capture so much about what is beautiful in a FLR or other FemDom D/s dynamic. This clip is a perfect example.

    Another point you bring up that most people just “don’t get” is that in the midst of all this misery the submissive male finds himself, at the end of the day or when he’s taken the time to reflect deeply, he sees and understands just how content he is.

    That in turn is enough to make me and many other Mistress’ very happy.

  6. Mistress Scarlet: I did ask my wife last evening if she was going to pursue the purchase of a dog crate for her to use on me for punishment sessions. I did not want to sound anxious like I wanted this, so I just mentioned that I have not heard her bring it up since she saw a small one at a yard sale.

    She said she has looked at them on line and is looking for those at least 48 to 54 and inches long, and most reasonable ones are 48 inches long. She did see that some fold with a handle while others have all the sides come apart. I would have to sit, not lay down, as they are not long enough she added.

    I asked how she would use this, and she said that instead of tying my hands high in her walk in closet and her being present in the house for 3 or 4 hours, she would put me in the cage and lock it with a key lock. Then she said she could go golfing, have lunch out with friends or go shopping. The key would be in a special sealed envelope and left it right next to the cage. If in an emergency, I could tear open the envelope and unlock the lock and free myself. But that would only be in a real emergency as she would see the envelope torn and know I got out. Or she could stay home and leave me in her closet or the main room for hours in the cage.

    She said she will check them again but would rather see one up close to see how well they are made. And it has to store easily. I could just imagine us at the local pet store having me crawl inside to see how I fit. I’m sure we would not be the first ones to do that.

    1. If she buys one let me know as I would wish her to hear of things that can be done for fun once the slave is locked inside the cage. For instance, if the cage is in the room with me, while I watch TV, I sometimes throw a heavy blanket over the whole cage so bitch-boy can hear but not see what is happening in the room.

  7. I wanted to add one comment my wife said to me when telling me how she would put me in the cage and then go out for a long time. When she ties me up in her walk in closet for hours, she comes in after about 2 hours with an empty coffee can. She puts my cock in it and allows me to pee without saying a word. Then leaves. So I asked her if I am in the cage what about when I have to pee and you are out. She said, “ that’s your problem, not mine. Either hold it or pee in the cage. They have trays on the bottom. You deal with it when the time comes. But don’t ever get a spot on the floor! You will never be let out. Or maybe I’ll put you in a diaper.”

  8. Dear Mistress Scarlet,

    I have been following your blog for about a year now, I love it. It is very exciting and erotic. As a male I find this lifestyle fascinating and I often fantasise about partaking in it.

    My girlfriend and I have dabbled in kink but not too much, mostly some light chastity play, the longest I’ve been locked is just over a month. She does enjoy being a little dominant but I don’t know the best way to approach her about taking things a bit further, perhaps I should give your manual a read.

    The main question I wanted to ask, and to Christine M actually as she’s another of the Domme’s I very much admire, is whether you regret not making non-kink experiences or memories with your slaves? My girlfriend loves going on trips and having new experiences with me and as I understand it you both completely deny your slaves pleasures like that. I think thats something my girlfriend would never want to give up. Do you miss not doing things with your partners?

    I hope you, your slave and the other Domme’s are staying safe and well,


    1. I dont think my BDSM manual would be a good idea yet. I would start with asking her to read my alternative blog. And then perhaps my beginners manual.

      I think I can speak for Christine M as well as myself on your main question and begin by saying you are very wrong in the impression you have formed of our relationships. You have a read of my alternative blog. Like Christine M, I use my husband for vanilla time often. Those times, I tell him that until further notice I will be using his vanilla attributes. That includes watching great movies or box sets on TV, any sports I am interested in, fine dining in restaurants, theatre and, holidays. During holidays the time is split by experience gathering adventures and sightseeing and some DS time in our bedroom or villa or holiday cottage.

      1. Thank you so much for the reply. I see that I have gotten a slightly wrong impression. Thank you so much for the reply and correction. I’m going to check out the links and reading material that you have suggested and do some further research.

        Thank you so much,


        1. Do not hesitate to come back with more questions, or feedback on my materials. My primary goal by far with all I do is have more vanilla women become properly dominant.

  9. Mistress C. has started putting me in a cage made of NIC grids (they’re often used for home storage, which is how we discovered them). I have to construct it each time and take it down when we’re finished. I set it up in a corner nook in the living room where I can be stashed away as necessary.

    The grids aren’t lockable or secure like a real cage, but Mistress C. simply clips my wrist cuffs to the grids and that keeps me in place. And if I shuffle or move too much, they can fall over and then I’m in big trouble.

    She can see me from the couch but I’m not in her direct line of sight if she’s watching TV or playing on her computer. I often find myself in my cage on weekends after I’ve finished my chores but before Mistress C. is finished with me being in uniform. I have to stand in the cage in my heels and stare out into the living room, so I’m aware of everything going on and just how little attention she is paying to me. It’s very tedious and I dislike it immensely, but I also look forward to it as it perfectly demonstrates my status in her household.

      1. She’s also been discussing leaving me in the cage while she’s out running errands or even going out for the evening (when it’s safe to do so) and putting some kind of camera to keep an eye on me or give me instructions.

        I also have a spot in the corner of the living room where Mistress C. will send me to stand if she doesn’t want me to set up the cage. In that case, I have to stand facing the wall and cannot see what she is doing.

  10. The beauty of my life-style is that I am in control and I do as I wish. I enjoy frequent vanilla times with David. He ALWAYS looks forward to our ‘vanilla time’; though it is becoming less and less, simply because that is what suits me.
    We visit family and friends, go out for fine-dining, enjoy movies and television together, go to sporting events, theatre, long walks, day trips, etc. Whatever I wish. The core difference to a non-DS relationship is that I choose where and when, without consulting David.
    Yes, David has a roster of chores that keeps him well occupied, but I can vary his roster as I wish. So, he may be excused chores some nights, or have the chores deferred to later.
    I am spending more and more of my time with my sister, in my own leisure pursuits, with other friends and in various other social circles. I enjoy this freedom, and often prefer to be without a ‘partner’. That is my choice though.
    If I do go out for a night, a day, or even for a weekend; I do take make an effort to make sure David is well looked after. He has expressed a desire to relax, watch TV/ Netflix, play music, read a magazine or watch football after he has completed his chores; but I don’t believe that is good for his well-being. Accordingly, I either schedule additional productive chores, disciplinary chores or a written assignment, in order to keep him beneficially occupied.
    For weekday evenings, we have an agreed ‘convention’. Once David has finished his chores, he goes into the laundry, where he can be observed on a security camera. He then gets some ‘quiet time’, standing nose and toes to the wall without moving a muscle, back straight, feet together, hands on head, elbows up high. He may even be left there for a while after I return.
    For example, just this Wednesday, he completed his chores around 9 o’clock, and I returned home at ten. I was feeling very pleased with my evening and sat down with a cup of Ovaltine to unwind for ½ an hour or so, listening to some classical music. I then got ready for bed before slipping down the hall to release him. Time had slipped by, and it was a little after midnight.

    1. Thank you so much for this insight, it’s really opened my eyes a bit more as to what your day to day life is like and how you mix vanilla time with the lifestyle.

      I have had fantasies of this sort of life for years but only just this past year started reading blogs and hearing people’s real accounts and it does fascinate me. I would love to open my girlfriend up to this world, she’s been dominant before but only light chastity play so far.

      I love the amount of control you have and that you allow vanilla time but only when you wish. The only thing I personally would struggle with is I have a big passion for film/tv and was a film student, so I think giving that up or having that restricted if my girlfriend adopted a similar FLR would be hard, but I understand it would be out of my control. She is 21 and I am 25 so I think we’ve got plenty of time to ease in and explore though and take things a little at a time.

      Thank you so much for this comment.


  11. I know it really upsets him when he hears me return, but he is ignored and left alone until I enter the laundry to ‘free’ him. He is ever so anxious to be freed from his ‘meditation’, as it is a very stressful position, especially since he is not allowed to move a muscle, not a twitch or scratch is permitted, and he never knows if I am watching on the camera feed. I can now feed the camera through Apple TV too, so I can listen to music and have him showing on the big screen! He hears me moving around and gets more and more perturbed wondering just how much longer he will be left there while I relax or potter around. What takes me but a few minutes, feels like ages for him and he becomes ever so agitated and irritated, being so easily ignored, while equally he gets ever more desperate to be released as the pain becomes worse and worse. Especially if he hears me come up the hallway, say to my office, but then return to the lounge rather going into the laundry. So near yet so far! But it is good for him to be ignored and learn serenity!

    1. Wow, that sounds both terribly painful and beautiful. I feel for you slave but am glad he’s in his place, as someday I hope I will be.

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