I received from ravi a comment on an earlier post and I felt that my response was worthy of a new post as readers may find my honest response interesting or perhaps selfishly callous or perhaps so extreme as to be psychologically deranged. I am prepared for abuse in response to this post! Here is the comment from ravi I am responding to.
Have you ever considered shutting him out of the world completely (almost), except from those whom you chose to have him meet. This includes stopping him from continuing his business and making him completely dedicated to you. Without any other distraction. (by what i made out, you already have enough money to do without his business and neither do you have kids). This would not be really practical but just wanted to know if you had given this a thought.
I am not sure if ravi has read Volume 7 of my journals. Below is an extract from Volume 7 to which he may be referring.
EXTRACT FROM VOLUME 7
……………………………… I continued.
‘I know it’s your holiday too. But that means nothing to me. You’re trapped in this life you initiated and I am not compromising my potential pleasure from it and I never will. You need to come to terms with that as best you can – always remembering you brought it upon yourself. Have I not made it clear that it is just going to get worse. I am going to give up work soon. We have enough money saved away and I have decided that I could be enjoying real pleasure an extra 40 or 50 hours a week if I give up work. I am prepared to forgo the hugely expensive cars and all the other extreme luxuries, in exchange for enjoying real pleasure an extra 40 or 50 hours a week. It’s not even a close decision. I will be giving up work very soon. When I do give up work, you will find yourself playing with your dollies every afternoon that I can fit it in. If we can adjust your work routines to mornings only on most days, then every afternoon you will find yourself playing with your dollies. You will be able to complete your maid’s duties some mornings and most evenings, although many evenings will consist of total sensory deprivation bondage for you, I’m afraid. That is where we are heading for our lifestyle. You don’t understand just how much I love having you play with your dollies as Belindakins while I read or watch TV or flick through magazines. It makes me feel so relaxed and so powerful at the same time. I relish your deep humiliation and the terrible monotony of it all for you. Both elements bring home to me my extreme power and that is a delightful, arousing feeling. And when I give up work and you spend afternoons, one after another, after another, after another week after week – my power rush will be greater still.’ He had begun to breath very deeply. He knew my speech was no mind-fuck. He knew I was being 100% honest about my intentions and that it would all be happening in the manner I was setting out. It was exhilarating to deliver my speech, knowing it was all true. I picked up his Barbie Doll comic while he continued to breath deeply and stare at the blanket on which he sat. I selected a colouring-in page and laid it in his lap. Despite feeling exhilarated I spoke in matter-of-fact tones. ‘So, off you go then. Colour this page in with Suzette. And remember, if you go outside a line, you will get caned.’ …………………………………………..
END OF EXTRACT
So, as you can see, I already have plans that are distinctly in the direction of ravi’s contemplation. Once I have enacted the new lifestyle I have set out in the extract above, I would not be surprised if I then move further. Perhaps having bitch-boy sell his business. I may also want a part time, working-at-home job for additional fulfilment – probably working for a charity that I support. My justification for this future of extreme constraining of bitch-boy’s existence is as follows.
Firstly, he is submissive to his core. Being controlled gratifies him utterly at the deepest level, although obviously it comes with huge collateral consequences for him. Pain, humiliation, drudgery, sexual frustration, etc. It is true that he hates the consequences of his helpless submission, but such is the paradox of the submissive human and I have written on this many times. This paradox is exemplified because the more he suffers and the greater the inequity – the more profoundly he feels controlled.
Secondly, he is in his late fifties now. He has led a very, very fulfilling life already. He has had more fulfilment than most people would dream of in their lives. We have raised a child (now a fantastic adult), he has had some powerful and rewarding jobs, he has run a successful business, he is full of wisdom and his wisdom is often sought by family and friends. And also my future regime will ensure he is physically very fit and healthy and will have a very healthy diet. He will have no decisions to make and no stressors – apart from me! Further, he has had a much younger, beautiful, (well he certainly thinks so), intelligent wife for over a decade.
Lastly, I am very selfish and sadistic and dominant and I want to experience this extreme Domme/sub lifestyle. It will be an adventure for both of us. It is no doubt also a lifestyle he fantasised about before he met me. (Of course he may have reconsidered these fantasies when reality educated him as to the potential folly of fantasies!)
So the clock is ticking to this future – I can’t wait!
Mistress Scarlet's Blog 
Miss scarlet,
i just want to say that it excites me every time i find a real D/s femdom couple online. I have read only a few of your blog posts, and already i admire your relationship greatly. It makes me so happy to know you’ve made your mans wildest dreams (and probably most exciting nightmares) come to true to reality. I relate to how you decribe him a lot. I feel a deep desire to serve a woman too. I have most of my life. I have been submissive since i was 13 and began to develope my sexual identity. I feel something deep inside that tells me i want to be with a woman that can control me, make me stronger, and make me serve her. I hope women see this comment, and realize that there are guys out here that want nothing more than to be your very own little bitch boy.
Just know that i am an intelligent, talented, humble, and otherwise sucessful human being. And for some reason, there is nothing i desire more than to be turned into a pantied, chaste, obedient servant for a very special woman i can only hope to meet one day.
I am pretty much open to explore any dynamic you can think of (granted i have a few i want to explore myself). For harder things, it may take longer periods of conditioning, but i know i will be willing to accept almost anything if it makes you, my keyholder, happy. The key to what? My device, sure. More like the key to my heart.
I just want to make my one true loves life as happy and enjoyable as possible. I know that without her, i am less. I will take care of her every need, and together we will become our happiest and best selves. A certain type of empowerment comes from knowing that im filling the role that i both want and need to fill. And i hear you gals can get a different sort of empowerment from being our queen and, well, controling all of our naughty parts ^·^
I feel such a strong need to be submissive. *blush*
Anyway, thank you again Miss Scarlet. Your blog is amazing, and its about to get a lot more traffic from me :)
Every person reading this, i wish you happiness and goos fortune.
Bitchboy is a very lucky person to be in the position he is in.
I also crave this lifestyle although my wife knows of it and likes the idea of it and we have tried
My wife seems just can’t get used to the idea of telling me what she wants me to do,or it feels like she does not understand the amount of joy it will bring her and myself
Love your blog and always look forward to the updates Ms Scarlet
I suggest waiting on her hand and foot, opening doors for her, giving her orgasms when you have none, until perhaps, she grows to where she would miss these things if they were to stop. It may help her realise what her full dominance could bring.
:D the faster the clock ticks the better.
Since extreme is the way, u should be looking at a stage where the chasity is no longer a need.With or without the chasity ,in your absence or presence,even when he has every chance of having a release ,his only way to a release should be with your permission.This is kind off the ideal stage of control for me.And this should not be hard to achieve for you.Having in place a mental barrier is way better than a chasity.
My apologies if i sound arrogant. :)
You do not seem arrogant, but I would say impractical. I do not think this can be done with a very clever sub – which I have. I also like that he feels physically controlled by a device. Each to their own I guess.
Now that i think over it,seems to be impratical.If u could find a way to put a condom around his cock such a way that he shouldn’t be able to remove it without leaving an evidence behind(that is u can find out if he had removed it)then he won’t have the courage to cum.That still does not prevent the erections he ll have.
I just don’t see what’s wrong with the very tight polycarbonate tube I lock him into, through his acrylic frenum piercing? No masturbation. No erections. OK through security x-ray, OK for having a shower.
Ms Scarlet What a wonderful development for you to look forward to. bb must have real mixed emotions both be dreading and being terribly excited the extra time with You.
What you have now and what you are headed towards is so very similar to where I hope me and my Mistress end up.
I feel so very relieved the more she tells me what she wants, how she wants it, and most of all I love it when she makes me do things she knows I don’t like to do. Especially love her to mess with my mind and emotions. It puts me in my place really good.
Thank you for sharing with us!
jen
Dear Ms Scarlet,
Having purchased and read each of your books, i am not surprised at the reasoning for your decision yet intrigued as the evolving outcome, especially after that literally fateful announcement to bitch boy. May i ask how close you are to implementing portions of it as well that which you foresee as the mental outcome for him? For instance, i recall reading that you said it would take him about 30 minutes to reenter a business mindset for a call after being abused; however, that ‘reprieve,’ even perhaps short in duration, was a break which will be lacking with 40-50 hours more drudgery and such. i am thinking of subtler changes and perhaps welcomed ones — being ground down even more. ;-)
I will have to play it all be ear. I cannot hypothesise about how he will cope and deal with compartmenting my humiliation of him with shifting to his business mode.
P.S. Your writings, i have no doubt, are entirely genuine, least because Miss K and i have a relationship with a *very* similar psychoemotional foundation (with being a firm and devoted support and friend as well as ongoing and deepening humiliation, chastity and frustration of a lovingly accepted type). Each of us seems cut from a respected bolt of cloth. Wishing you and bitch boy the very best in the next stages!
Dear Ms Scarlet
This has nothing to do with this last blog, but some time back you ask if anyone had any new ideas to play on bb? Well” here is one you might be interested in! You might start off with some bondage, then you get bb penis good and hard, to the point were he is about to cum ( this is the best part), but he is not to cum under your orders! Also because he got himself to that point that he tells you he is “ready”, you well punish him. “Maybe a spanking on the balls or something else. Then when he is soft you start all over again. And of course if he does cum he will pay a heavy price for that! This is a lesson on controlling yourself. And every time he tells you he is ready he will also be punished! He causes his own faith. ” The point here is” tease and denial is a strong tool.
I like the principle.
He is informed of a terrible punishment if he cums. I have in mind a thorough application of Extra Strength Deep Heat embrocation cream straight after he has ejaculated and then a smacking. So, he has to beg me to stop wanking him and I inform him if he begs me to stop, then I will smack it with my 12 inch ruler for a while and then start wanking him again. And on, and on, and on!
Dear Ms Scarlet
Let me please add to my last reply. Also if bb does not get hard for you,”then that is a insult to you to also punish bb. “He is in trouble at any direction he go”s. I truly think you”ll love this game!!
Wonderful plan there for you both:)
Also love how you outlined the basic dynamic for Bb, that is how he needs the extreme control to feed and satiate his deeply submissive soul yet such can and does come about in your relationship via great inequity in your favor with consequent great and genuine suffering for him, much more than he originally contemplated apparently when he initiated the idea for this with you years ago…….it is a most provocative paradox for him no doubt but does make great sense for both the genuine submissive and sadistic Dominant :)
While I think you are a cruel and heartless bitch who must have had terrible parents, I wonder if you have considered the possibility of prosecution if BB dies in your care? At his age, even a healthy man can die suddenly of a cardiac event. If BB were to go into cardiac arrest while on your bondage bed, he most likely would die, there would be ample evidence that you abuse him, and you would be arrested.
Here are some suggestions:
Keep him in the best health you can with cardio and resistance exercise. I am sure you can devise some way to have fun with those.
Have BB give a written and notarized as well as video statement that he willingly accepts your care and that it is part of your lifestyle.
Buy an AED, automated external defibrillator, in case BB does have a cardiac event during a punishment session. You could possibly save his life, extend your years together and him under your thumb, and keep yourself out of jail.
Just some thoughts.
You have obviously read very little of my blog! Firstly, my parents and my childhood were wonderful. I am a very liberal person and have interests in charities helping the oppressed and the poor. People who know nothing of my Domme lifestyle think I am very kind and caring because, apart from my treatment of bitch-boy, I am kind and caring. You obviously have no concept of the personalities of many Dommes (and Dominatrix) with our compartmented lives. We have one personality when dealing with subs and another when dealing with those who need kindness, support and charity. You have a lot to learn.
Secondly, as is clear from my blog and my journals, bitch-boy is already very, very fit and healthy for his age. Easily much fitter than the average UK male twenty years younger than he is. He will continue to be this fit. That has always been part of my regime.
Although your nonsense about cardiac arrest is so poorly thought through it is hardly worthy of response, I will respond. Cardiac arrest while he is driving in the remote countryside or at home, alone working at his business, would be much more catastrophic than if he was on the bondage bed. On the bed, I would hear his distress on the baby monitor and I could dial for the emergency services immediately. Unlike if he were driving in the remote countryside or working at home alone. However his annual health check confirms he has a very low likelihood if such an event because he is so fit and healthy.
Very good point MsScarlet about the compartmentalized lives and approaches of most genuine Dommes…..dominant and sadistic to their slave but often times and mostly lovely as appropriate to others, or at least that is the ones i have known and no doubt yourself also.
Dear Miss Scarlet,
I have read nearly all of your blog and four out of the seven books and I have to say they are all quite excellent and some of the best literature I have seen in this particular genre; you write well, the content is very interesting and the relationship you have with bitch boy must be very satisfying for both of you. You should be congratulated on ruthlessly sticking to your principles. However I would be the first to admit that I am a submissive fantasist rather than a lifestyle practitioner.
Can I suggest one or two games that you might like to use to add a little variety to both your lives? I first wrote about the punishment curtsy in my unfinished work “The Nursery”; it goes like this:
Belindakins is told that 50 or 100 punishment curtsies are required and she therefore stands with her feet together and does a deep bow Japanese-style saying when the head is down “please accept my punishment curtsy” the head is raised, the right foot goes behind the left so as to form a neat T, she picks up the hem of her dress and bends her knees as far as she can to do a very deep curtsy. At the bottom of the curtsy she apologises or states the reason for the punishment for example “I have been a naughty Belindakins and not lisped when I have spoken to Suzette”; she rises slowly again, put her feet side-by-side and bows low once more saying as she does so “thank you for accepting my punishment curtsy” and returns to the starting position standing straight. These curtsies should be done slowly but fluently.
They can be done in front of you or to an inanimate object or perhaps to Suzette. If she counts as she does them when she gets to 49 you can shout out I don’t accept your punishment curtsies start again!
This little routine has the advantage of being humiliating, boring, when delivered to an inanimate object it is very demeaning and of course none of it involves effort from you. If you expand the dialogue between Belindakins and Suzette then the doll can give Belindakins a punishment in the form of punishment curtsies – just an idea.
Another development could be to take the Nursery rhymes idea a lot further. You could get him to learn a new nursery rhyme every week with the rule that every learned nursery rhyme must remain in his repertoire and he must always be able to recite it faultlessly with the appropriate gestures and acting. As it is unlikely that you will be wanting to be bothered to learn them yourself you could get him to write each nursery rhyme out in a lovely pink Princess notebook which you can use to check his accuracy. After a year he would have a repertoire of 50 nursery rhymes and in two years a hundred which might be quite testing for him especially as you might say at any time recite number 29 number and 33 for example.
I don’t have to suggest to you what punishments you would inflict for any failures to remember them perfectly but I am sure you would create his mind the absolute necessity to be sure to know all the Nursery rhymes at any time. This creates an additional possibility of pressure inasmuch that he might feel the need to rehearse them to himself in his own vanilla time or alternatively have to ask you for permission to dress up and be Belindakins for the purpose of learning the Nursery rhymes. It might also provide a little diversion when you are mutually doing something rather boring in vanilla time like waiting in line to board an aircraft or something “give me number 56 and number 29 could make the subsequent flight more interesting”
Lastly can I suggest something more life changing, for him at least, that will demean him in his own eyes and in your eyes even further.
The idea starts with the concept that you are obviously entitled to perfectly uninterrupted sleep and when there are two people in a house and one of them needs to use the toilet in the night or perhaps in his case when he rises early to start his service they flush the toilet with the result that the noise of running water disturbs the other person. In your case I would have thought such behaviour was entirely unacceptable and that you should not be troubled in this way at all.
I note that you rarely put him in nappies because, I assume, that you enjoy having his little clitty available to be laughed at, teased or punished and of course his bottom is always ready to receive the cane at a moments notice both of which would be frustrated if he were to wear nappies during the day. However both of these requirements are not necessary at night time so I would suggest that you put him in nappies and plastic pants from the moment he goes to bed or perhaps a little earlier until say seven or 8 o’clock in the morning or whatever suits the household routine. All with the clear understanding that he is not allowed to use the toilet at any time whilst in nappies and that he simply uses them for the purpose intended. Also It is very healthy for adults to drink plenty of water and I would suggest that he drank at least a litre of water every night before retiring to bed.
With this regime he will obviously have a wet nappy each morning and can quite honestly and correctly be called a “bedwetter”. This is a very significant blow to what little pride he may have left; furthermore it is a regime that can be operated during vanilla times as well as when you’re playing; it is in fact a permanent change in his status – for the worse. At the moment when you deride his “clitty” you can only point out how small and useless it is but now it has a negative function, it wets the bed or wets his nappy.
It opens up a whole possibility of embarrassment and belittling of status and I fancy that Suzette might have something to say about it because after all she doesn’t wet the bed or need a nappy at night time! This makes her quite superior to him and I am sure that she would behave accordingly. It might be amusing to develop a whole extra line of dialogue between them which I am sure your sisters would find most entertaining. She is certain to ask him if he has wet the bed every time she sees him do you not think?
Lastly of course nappies and plastic pants would have to be washed and put on the clothesline another source of worry and concern I feel sure. A regime of using a disposable followed by a proper 60 in. square terry with four safety pins and plastic pants perhaps some of those with ruffles on the bottom has supplied by cosy and dry will ensure that the bed is dry but of course a further added humiliation could be the use of a mattress protector.
Dear Miss Scarlet I hope you find these ideas of some minor merit although they have come from a grovelling male who is totally in awe of you. Respectfully, Sophie
Thank you Sophie. There are some things in your suggestions that seem to clash with the perverse doctrines that have developed in my mind and habit, and some that I really like. I will set out my thoughts.
Punishment Curtsies – I don’t like the Japanese style bowing. Much too elegant and refined for little Belindakins. I do like the punishment being carried out to an inanimate object. I have in mind – in front of a mirror but with the video baby monitor pointed at him. I can be in another room and he would not know whether I was bothering to observe him. (BTW, I never shout – it is not elegant.)
The problem with your nursery rhymes suggestion is that he has to perform little actions with each of those he has learned so far. I have devised the actions he must perform with the objective of maximum little girl humiliation of course. I do not have the time to come up with physical actions for 100 more nursery rhymes!
You mention a couple of times, Suzette his dolly having a superior role to him. I know I am in the realms of perverse and unreal scenario building, but I don’t like that. I want him to feel he is forced to be every bit a little girl in this regard so his dollies are his friends. However I like the nappies overnight idea which I have done in the past. I already have plastic panties which cover his nappies and have a chain sewn into the hem which can be padlocked around his waist. I very much like the idea of Suzette asking out of concern, in front of visitors, if Belindakins wet her nappy last night. And Belindakins having to answer – of course!
this is the life slave wishes for
I am so glad you do not shout, it is very inelegant and I should not have used the word; I really meant to imply a commanding tone of voice. On that rather linguistic point I find the use of the word arse by a lady unfortunate; I know it is 2014 but I am from an older generation which remains rather shocked by the use of words like this by a lady of refinement and taste.
More constructively I am wrestling with your lockable safe; it must be capable of being used constructively. The key to the lavatory door perhaps when you are out?
I am sure we can do better I shall ponder on it.
Sophiebaby
Perhaps I am wrong and I apologise if I am, but I sense a petulant, snide, put-down of me because I corrected your error of fact, (to ensure readers of my blog can know me as best they can). Saying I shout when I don’t is a factual error not a linguistic one. You follow this by the implication that a lady of refinement and taste should not use the word – ‘arse’. I’m afraid I do use the words, arse and fuck and cunt – when the context is right. People of an older generation should have more wisdom and a broader understanding of how woman are now allowed to behave. My dislike of shouting is that it indicates a loss of self control which is unattractive and weak. Whereas I believe people can use whichever words they wish from the wonderful vocabulary of the English language whether they are women or men.
Abject apologies. When I wrote the remarks I half expected a robust reply I guess it’s rather like bitch boi begging for some mercy; he knows it’s pointless but goes ahead anyway. I knew it was pointless and arrogant to make the suggestion but somehow I couldn’t stop myself. You are, of course, always right and perfectly entitled to write as you wish.
A delightful entry Mistress Scarlet! Thank You for sharing Your wonderful life and bb’s misery. I know he is in awe of You and Your current, as well as future potential sadism and cruelty (I, of course mention these with total respect)…his life holds great promise of proper servitude, humiliation, denial, pain, tedium, and suffering while Yours of decadent pleasure, frequent orgasms and endless entertainment at his expense…Delish!
Most humbly,
sissy jamieanne
Submissive/masochist since a boy. Been through a lot, not able to give up full control anymore. Really emotional moody and damaged, it’s a feeling. Been out of the scene for 7 years. Meaning single, done few things and it’s empty, feel nothing. Not feeling anything i still give service oreally and not get off, I don’t want to receive pleasure. It hurts, few come and go leaving relaxed and happy. Reading these blogs it’s beautiful, but it hurts inside emotionally pain, my heart breaks amd i cry. Being like this has become lonely and now, working on a resume for the next Lady that notices me. Question is, is their any suggestions on healing moving forward?. Women can feel that I’m damged. When I inflict pleasure on myself and get off I don’t feel those things. So their is light at the end.
Moody is understandable if you are a submissive not being dominated but there is more to life than sex while you await the next Domme. Find another pleasure to fulfil you while you wait.
You have to understand I reject the notions of psychoanalysis that old damage must forever effect you. Both myself and bitch-boy are examples of shedding the results of old damage 100%, although I wont go into details.
When you find a new Domme, what is the purpose to you of having old damage in your head, let alone communicating it to her?
Old damage can only effect you tomorrow if you choose to let it.
I find your control and dominance most exciting especially as I am a sisssy the whole idea of playing with dolls in front of women
The real life reality of pitiless, mocking, disdainful women, not laughing at you, let alone with you, just mocking you and reminding you that you are a grown man reduced to role playing with dollies like a little girl for their sadistic amusement and your humiliated subjugation, you may find, is rather different to the fantasy. But I suspect even as you read those words, you ere further drawn in by your submissive soul.
Reblogged this on subbyp and commented:
Wow so powerful! Such dominance.