Tag Archives: bondage

The Beginners Guide; more positive feedback

You may recall that in response to requests, I wrote   a guide    and published an alternative  website specifically designed to persuade vanilla wives and girlfriends to have a try at becoming dominant.

I am not sure there is anything else available like this guide;  specifically written to entice wholly vanilla women to try part-time or full time domination of a submissive male. EVERYTHING is excluded that might, to a novice woman,  seem scary or unpleasant or perverted or excessively demanding.

I have received more positive feedback from Cardim about the effectiveness of the Guide.

Hi Scarlet,
Two weeks ago, my gorgeous wife read section two of  your book, A Beginners Guide, I never saw her as mean, as yesterday. I can see that she likes it more and more to be mean and dominant. Also in vanilla time. I never felt so dominated before, even though nothing extreme happens.

This follows earlier feedback from Cardim

Hi Scarlet,
A month ago, i bought your ‘Beginners Guide’ on amazon.
It is unbelievably good. I have been trying for almost a decade to convince my wife to be my mistress, with little succes.(i now understand, it was because of my expectations) Since i have read your ‘Beginners Guide’, i learned that i did everything wrong, while is was trying to teach my wife how to be a mistress.

Now that my wife has read just the first section of your ‘Beginners Guide’ and is experimenting with it, she is really really enjoying the dominance. The big change is that she can get into this new dynamic in our relationship at her on pace.

We are only a few weeks far with some DS time and mostly Vanilla time, but i am already scared of what she is going to do to me in the future, because her eyes tell me that she really likes this new dynamic now.

I would like to say a lot more, but my English is not good enough to explain everything i want to say.

So thank you very much for writing this book.

The above right menu tab, Tempt her to try dominance,  is an important read for submissive males think of buying this guide for their wife or girlfriend.

Deeply Affecting Collar

An excerpt below from a recently received comment, for which I am grateful. I had never before considered the extra psychological affect of a locking collar that does not even have a padlock, (to attempt to interfere with). Wow, I love it!

…..My Mistress has now replaced the leather one with a steel one that has an integrated lock, which as a result cannot be cut through. It is impossible to use a hacksaw on either the lock, or the collar without injuring yourself. The only way I think it can be removed, without the key, is by the Fire Brigade.

This is the one thing that has totally broken me as there is no possible escape from it. As it is seldom removed it is there when I go to sleep, it is there when I wake up, it is there my every waking moment, pressing down on the nape of my neck. When on display there is no way I can pretend to be anything other than a slave.

There is no physiological escape from my status with this collar. I asked Mistress the once whether see preferred me with or without my collar, the answer was immediate and it looks as if I will be wearing it for the rest of my life……

……….. Yes Mistress Scarlet that is exactly the one I have been wearing for nearly two years.
As I stated it is impossible to have it on display and pretend it is anything other than it is.
It is impossible to to ignore as the weight is always there on your shoulder.
The physiological effect is all encompassing. You cannot escape either physically or mentally, to the extent that every waking moment you have no chose but to realise that you are the property of your mistress.

 

 

 

 

For info on my own BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.

 

 

 

While doing something else

What was one of my favourite site themes on Tumblr has now appeared on BDSMLR, I am so pleased to say.  while-doing-something-else.  bitch-boy informed me he found it while he was doing his BDSMLR tease chore as he knew the theme is in my top 3.

It so sums up, I think other Dommes will agree, the atmosphere of REAL LIFE, long term, live-together,  Domme/sub relationships. So much time is spent with the Domme enjoying whatever she wants, excluding the sub, while the sub toils  in the background on chores somewhere or toils between her thighs, or while she sunbathes, or he is a foot-rest, or his face is a seat. Particularly while the Domme is; applying make-up, drying/fixing hair, talking on the telephone, watching TV, reading a book or magazine, eating a meal, doing one’s nails, on social media, engaged in a pleasant craft activity, chatting to a visiting female guest, ‘who is in the know’.

I have of course had bitch-boy re-blog many of the images to my BDSMLR site.

So different to the majority of Femdom images on the net where the Domme (usally a professional dominatrix), is having to focus all her attention on the male sub. Not that I have a problem with the dominatrix profession. Wonderful women!

Obviously I have to ignore the images of fucking and cock-sucking and male climaxes on this site. A girl can’t have everything!

On the topic of my BDSMLR site I now have 4,800 followers. Nowhere near the 20,000 on my old Tumblr site, but it grows steadily which I adore. I adore because so many people share the REAL LIFE tastes I have.

Almost no PVC or latex, or warehouses or dungeons or abandoned buildings. Domestic scenarios in the main, and only the women getting the pleasure and the thrills. Of course the males getting their submissive contentment when their head hits the pillow every night, even if there is little or no sexual satisfaction in their lives.

Dashing Hopes versus Zero Hope

About my previous two posts on total denial of orgasms, one comment I received, (I paraphrase),  suggested that surely hope is a requirement of properly affecting cruelty. I think this view must have come about because of the recent, frequent mentions of the pleasurable tactic of raising a slave’s hopes for the sole purpose of dashing them. (A momentous and fantastic idea from the amazing Lady Jessica).

Hope Raised and DASHED

Well I thought I should post to confirm that hope is NOT a requirement of affecting cruelty. While I DO love raising and dashing bitch-boy’s hopes and now do so frequently, (thank you so much Lady Jessica), I know there are a number of wishes for which bitch-boy has zero hope but the wish remains a very affecting cruelty to both him and me. These can be long term or short term.

 

 

Examples of zero hope include:

  • That he will never ever get to penetrate a woman again. And that is despite how
    ZERO HOPE

    often I flaunt my body to him and verbally remind him how much he would adore to  penetrate me but I am 100% CLEAR that he never ever will. He has no hope I will ever let him and it seriously affects him each time I flaunt my body and remind him. (Just about daily!)

  • When I secure him for say five hours of sensory deprivation bondage. As I secure him, he desperately wishes I will reduce the duration but he knows I absolutely will not. He has no hope I will.

 

  • If a new, horrible-for-him, activity comes to my attention and I inform bitch-boy I will be trying it out and if I like it, it will become part of my regime. I make it clear 100% that I will be trying it out! He dreads it, but has no hope that I will not try it out.

 

 

For info on my own BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.

Lock Down Activities (No. 2)

Number 2, of my suggestions for lockdown activities is the use of a collar on your subbie. The collar kept on as close as possible to 24/7 use.

With no visitors and no attending social functions, you may find you can keep a collar on your subbie 24 hours a day for many, many consecutive days. I have for bitch-boy a rubber collar that can be padlocked on. As it is rubber he can bath and shower in it so it need not be removed even for washing.

I padlock it on fairly loose so it rests at the bottom of his neck and that means it can be hidden by slightly high necked sweaters, or fleeces. So even if a delivery person arrives at our door or I have sent him out to work on our front garden (yard), he can continue to wear it.

You may not have a BDSM collar designed for padlocking on. It is however possible to padlock on almost any collar; by slipping a padlock hasp through the hole in the collar strap that follows the hole you used to secure the buckle. So a plain old dog collar can be used. The image below shows what I mean as it is quite hard to explain.

 

Emotions for me

I get a delightful little power rush whenever I see his collar locked onto him. Even in vanilla periods, if he is naked for some reason, seeing it on him together with his chastity device is simply divine. Free effortless, power-pleasure.

Emotions for the sub

I think the collar’s 24/7 imposition is quite subjugating for bitch-boy. The feel of it ALL THE TIME. The image of it, WHENEVER he sees himself in a mirror.  And having it padlocked on seems to have a VERY BIG extra effect. Do use a padlock if you can!

 

 

For info on my own BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.

 

Inspired Clever Domination!

Another wonderful real life Domme, Miss Hannahbelle has begun leaving comments and exchanging emails with me. In her first comment I was so very impressed by a couple of instances of extreme cleverness, especially the second of the two. The cleverness employed motivated by a delightful drive to maximise the effects of her dominance.

I will first share the content of Miss Hannahbelle’s comment though:

He has had absolutely no orgasm whatsoever in the past two years but he endures almost daily edging sessions where he is securely bound before I take great pleasure in driving him to the edge over and over again with no relief for him. Eventually I’ll lock him back up before releasing his bondage, never  – before he is locked back in his cage. Quite often these edging sessions will last several hours and I have been known to have him secured for an entire weekend whilst I drive him to insanity.

I am very keen that he doesn’t try and fall into a sort of trance where he can drive down his libido whilst in chastity. I want him constantly horny and aroused but with absolutely no way of doing anything about it. I know all his kinks and desires (it’s amazing what you can get a guy to admit to when you have him moments from the edge!) and I use these to keep him turned on.

As for his tasks my favourite has been getting him to walk around our neighbourhood in varying states of humiliating dress. Initially, in order to earn an ejaculation, I gave him the option of taking a number of enemas and then having to walk a predetermined course around the nearby roads whilst wearing 7 inch high heels. I allowed him male clothing but he had to wear the heels. He attempted the task a few times but failed badly within moments of leaving the house. Essentially he just can’t walk in the heels, they are too high for him. So I gave him another chance. He could choose to replace the 7 inch heels with 6 inch heels which he can walk in. However, instead of wearing his male clothes he would have to wear his latex maids outfit, corset, stockings, gloves and collar. Were he to decide to go with this choice, then he wouldn’t be able to chose the other one ever again, this would be his commitment.

The conflict he endured in making this decision was wonderful. I gave him 24 hours to mull it over and torment himself. Should he take the risk of being seen in full maids dress but have more chance of completing the course in heels he could walk in or should he try and improve his performance in the higher heels, reducing his chances of being seen in humiliating clothes but making the chances of completing the course much less likely?

Neither choice is ideal but if he wanted a chance to ever cum again he would have to chose one. I just love the torment he went through in making this decision.

So, for me, the first instance of extreme cleverness, was to extract from him his darkest fantasies under the power of the edging desperation and then use those very fantasies to keep him sexually aroused and so very frustrated, when he otherwise may have flagged.

And the awesome second instance of psychological cleverness: Giving him two terrible things to choose from to earn release AND giving him a long deadline to make his choice, (a long time to be in anguish), AND (the coup de grace), telling him the option he does not choose is gone for ever! So massively ramping up the enormity of the terrible  decision!  Wow.

Below I provide some excepts of additional correspondence from the amazing Miss Hannahbelle.

……… When we met he was in a chastity cage. He was terrified I would be scared off but also had the confidence to try and start a relationship with me. He recognised the innate need for him to be under someone’s control and so, whilst scared what I might think of him, he felt he had little to lose if he wanted to be truthful to himself. Somehow the stars aligned for us both as what he didn’t know at the time was that I did have some experience in the world of domination, having spent some time working as a pro-Domme apprentice to pay my way through my second year at university. I enjoyed my work but had never really taken it into a relationship beyond a bit of bondage. Our relationship has changed all that now! Meeting him has really fired my dominant side and he has responded in kind too. I do wonder if he regrets some of his decisions though. I love the great conflict inside him of being absolutely desperate to cum but also loving that he has found someone who is willing and able to keep him locked, denied and frustrated.
In terms of his kinks I use them on him in all sorts of ways, many of which work wonderfully in conjunction with our lifestyle. He is a keen rubberist and I am very happy to dress him up in lots of layers of rubber, but I always ensure it has a feminine edge to it. He is also a high heel addict, and I take every opportunity to wear heels to arouse him. But I also took the opportunity to get him wearing heels more (he had done so a little in the past) and have been training him in wearing higher and higher heels. I have even bought him ballet boots but he can barely stand in them at present. One day maybe I’ll really train him up in them!
………… Fantasising about being locked in permanent chastity is one thing, living it is quite something else. The same about fantasising of being rubberised compared to having to walk outside in public in rubber sissy clothes.
………………….. I was pleased to hear that you padlock bitch-boy’s heels on him. I have used high heel locking straps regularly to assist in his training. I’ve spent a long time getting him up to the 6 inch heels and I must say he is fairly proficient in them. As I mentioned, the 7 inch heels are a real struggle for him though, which gives me some great leverage over him. I have actually installed a treadmill in our playroom and love to watch him practicing on it. Recently I’ve bought him a pair of 5 inch mules which he is really struggling with because of the lack of ankle strap. They are so sexy on him though and I love to tell him that. He does have very sexy legs, especially when in his latex stockings!
I’ve just spent a lovely hour with him in his strait jacket and ankle spreader locked on him whilst giving him a long and frustrating blowjob. I sat on his face for most of it and loved hearing his begging and moaning through my pussy. He’s currently cooling down with an ice pack on his cock whilst I write you this email. I’ll head back and lock him back in his cage in a minute. I’ve also mentioned that if we end up having to self isolate then he can look forward to some seriously prolonged edging sessions.

 

 

Governess X / Lady Governa

I mentioned in passing in my last post  Madam Press, formerly Governess X, formerly Lady Governa of The District Reformatory , and her   clips4sale site. Having discussed in the comments on that post her period, many years ago as Governess X and Lady Governa, I thought I would try to describe in detail excerpts of some of the video clips that were on her website, long before HD quality! If only they were still accessible.

The first thing to describe is her voice. This can be experienced in some of the sample video clips on her    clips4sale site. (I should be on commission!!!)

There is an innocence to her voice as though what is happening is the most natural thing in the world. But there is 100% implacability. Zero pity, Zero mercy. The terrible thing she has decreed will happen is happening. It is unimaginable that anything could even begin to persuade her otherwise, despite the genuine heartfelt pleading of the client. Oh yes, she has clients pleading with all their heart. Her dominance is not a game! (I think I have adopted the identical voice attributes but I am not sure it is from seeing those clips all those years ago. Perhaps they become the natural voice attributes of every relaxed, experienced, merciless, sadistic, 100% powerful Domme?

One clip I remember from all those years ago involved not nettles but thistles. A close up of a very stiff birth defect before her where she sat. And some very stiff stems of thistles in her hand. And the thistle stems swiped down very hard on the stiff and vulnerable defect. Through a serious gag could be heard the desperate begging and pleading of the client. But the calm, soft voice would point out that the nasty organ needed training and again and again the thistles swept down hard. Tiny spots of blood appeared on the defect. And she paused and giggled. And then more of that voice and then the thistles swept down again and again.

The second clip I remember was almost the same apart from an electrical Tens unit was being used attached to electrodes on the very stiff birth defect. The shot was just the defect and her hands holding the control unit. She would turn the dial up to full for a moment and the defect would judder and screams into a gag would be heard and then when the dial was turned back down, panicking, muffled pleading and pleading. Then She would turn the dial up to full for a moment again and the defect would judder and screams into a gag would be heard and then when the dial was turned back down, panicking, muffled pleading and pleading again. All the while, as though reciting a nursery rhyme to an infant her clam, sweet, innocent voice would be describing her activity. Up little sissy, and back down. Up the dial goes little sissy, and back down.

The third clip I remember was from her POV, of her entering a bathroom and inside, very securely bound to a chair, was a sissy client with several pairs of large satin panties pulled over his head. He could see nothing and I doubt hear very much. He was also diapered and gagged and he immediately began begging and begging when he was conscious of her in the room. It was clear he had been there for hours. Her sweet voice explaining he had been very naughty and did not deserve to be in her presence and had to be punished. After a little more narration of his naughtiness she left the room, totally ignoring the constant heartfelt pleading.

The fourth clip I remember had a sissy on his back on a bed, bound so his legs were straight and pointed up to the ceiling. A spreader bar had been secured to keep his ankles apart and the bar was then secured on a length of chain to the bedhead. The backs of his thighs and butt displayed red wheals of cane strokes.

He was very close to tears and he whimpered he could not take any more of the cane.  In response, in a sweet but clearly very firm tone of voice, she explained that sissies never, ever tell their Governesses  they have had enough. Only the Governess knows when they have had enough! Sissies cannot possibly know. And she would show him he had not had enough of the cane. And she went back to caning him some more, and his tears began to flow.

At the time, what a wonderful role model for me she was! And I also learned just how submissives NEED to be treated. Her clients cried, their begging was always ignored, they hated so much of what they endured; BUT did she go out of business? Did she run out of clients? Quite the opposite! They would beg to go back for another weekend of her cruel dominance, again and again.

 

My 16th journal –  LINK

 

bitch-boy suffers through Coronavirus

No! bitch-boy has not contracted the virus. We are both safe and well. (Perhaps it is wrong to say safe in bitch-boy’s case; as he is not safe from me and my depravities!)

As you all know neither him nor I work and my home is in the deepest countryside. Coronavirus is spreading fast now in the UK and I have decided we shall self isolate for a few weeks. I will not allow bitch-boy to leave the home at all, (I am so protective of him), and I will not socialise other than by phone and I will do all my yoga and exercise at home.

What this means is day after day, I will be full-on dominating my poor puppet. No respite from my presence. Far from being a miserable, boring incarceration for me, it is a little adventure for me, an opportunity, and for him! All those hours, day after day! Imagine the durations of sensory deprivation bondage possibilities. Imagine all those hours and hours of games that he will play with his dollies. And it is so good that the stinging nettles have just had their first use of 2020; and there are huge patches of young shoots on the surrounding land. Imagine my orgasm count!

So it is certainly the case that my very fit and healthy little puppet will be suffering as a result of Coronavirus!

Oh he so HATES being set off on two hours of colouring-in with dolly. Imagine when that is day after day after day, no days off while I am out anymore. Or not being set off on two hours of colouring-in with dolly, but five hours, or eight hours! And the same again the next day. ( It has been fascinating in the last few months to learn that all Dommes in long term relationships relish enforcing the misery of tedium on their puppets. It may be endless chores, or endless writing lines sitting as a desk dressed as a schoolgirl,  or sent out to do a menial, degrading job to earn a little extra money, to be frittered away in seconds by their Domme on some decadent treat.)

And its not just colouring-in, there is Dolly Potty Time, Reciting nursery rhymes with actions to his dollies, playing outdoors with dollies in the pushchair, Potty /Heels dilemma time, etc, etc,

And the terrible burdens of choice us poor Dommes must cope with! If I have him in sensory deprivation bondage for five or six hours:

CHOICE 1; do I have him in his penis restraint and diaper him with lockable plastic panties over the diapers, (with lots of ‘liquid’ and piss ice chunks to be consumed, and perhaps tip a jug of my piss into his diaper before I secure it.

OR,

CHOICE 2;  do I leave his birth defect exposed so I can visit from very hour or two to apply nettles or Linnex? And then listen on the baby monitor downstairs to the miserable whimpering?

The tough choices us poor Dommes have to make! Really! How do we cope?

 

My 16th journal –  LINK

 

Submission immediately following orgasm

When the domination is 100% real and 100% powerful, and the situation is reached where the male knows he would never, ever want to depart his Mistress, so there are no thoughts of escape, then activities can be introduced purposefully in the seconds / minutes after ejaculation. For example, words to the effect of:

You are going to clean all the toilets now to an immaculate standard, and I know you have temporarily lost your submissiveness and ‘the thrill’, but I have TOTAL POWER over you and TOTAL CONTROL and I want you suffering tedium and degradation while you are in your current ‘vanilla’ , non-submissive headspace, so you REALLY KNOW AND ACCEPT this is NO GAME! Now get to it bitch!

On a similar vein I once read of a Domme who would give her sub a monthly maintenance, (or deterrent) caning. A severe punishment session, even though he had not erred, so he was properly frightened to disobey her in any way in any circumstances. She would give him a quick and un-erotic orgasm moments before the punishment began so, having lost his submissiveness, he truly understood punishments were not an erotic game.

It seems this acknowledgement by the Domme of  his temporary loss of submissiveness but still continuing with a severe caning, ironically brought the sub quickly to a very deep submissive headspace as the REALITY HIT HOME. The reality that his wife truly was uncompromising, ruthless and all powerful and her domination was 100% serious and in no way a game. But this relatively  quickly made him feel submissive anyway, and seriously in awe of his  Domme too.

I too have experienced times where bitch-boy has had one of his rare orgasms and then I have carried on with some humiliation or degradation. I see the reflex, disgruntled glint in his eyes that he is not feeling submissive, but then in his eyes, within moments, I can almost see his brain going through a thought pattern. He knows I know he is momentarily not feeling submissive, he recognises that I DO NOT CARE! I have my own hedonistic agenda and he remains my toy despite temporarily not feeling submissive.  Relatively quickly a submissive look appears in his eyes as he acknowledges his Mistress-wife owns him and does what she wants with him, and it is not a game played for him. It is his life!

Finally I will mention Madam Press, formerly Governess X, formerly Lady Governa of The District Reformatory . She has a clips4sale site. (I thought I had posted about her before but can’t find any such post?????)

In my early years of dominance, Madam Press, or Governess X as she was then, was a HUGE influence. I wanted the sissyfication/ age regression / parody of a little girl regime to FULLY subjugate bitch-boy with overwhelming humiliation and relentless control. BUT mostly on the web, sissyfication/ age regression / parody of a little girl, was linked to nurturing women pandering to the fantasies of males.

But Governess X was different! Oh yes! A great deal of dickie-discipline with nettles, ruler, thistles and Tens unit electricity. Extremes of humiliation, harsh canings, urine in baby bottles to be drunk, tedium sissy bondage. This Governess’s charges would genuinely plead and plead through their gags quite often. It is fair to say, a significant proportion of my regime style is a copy of hers.

So why do I mention her in this post? Well, although some of her charges are in chastity, most often they are not, although the are usually in bondage or mittens so can’t touch themselves. And she will often give those not in chastity a quick, no fuss milking by hand so she has their ‘cream’ to be used for smearing over their pacifier teat or be added to nectar in a baby bottle, or be part of the ‘infant’s’ meal. There is no doubt she is aware of how these charges must lose their submissiveness having just ejaculated, but she does not let up one bit!

 

 

For info on my own BDSM manual, in several formats, click on an image below.